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Christy Carlson Romano: The Disney Childhood She Never Chose + Why It Hurts · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the right questions, we get a little closer. Closer to truths.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Closer to each other. Even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Danielle Robay, and each week my guests and I come
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of thinking by daring to ask, what if? Why not?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: And who says? So come curious. Dig deep. and join
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: the conversation. It's time to question everything. We grew up
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: watching child stars, right? We know their characters, their catchphrases,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: their theme songs even. But we know almost nothing about
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: what it actually meant to be one. And even now,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: it's rare to get a real look inside that world.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: And partly because so few people have lived it. Partly because,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: as our guest explains, it's an experience that can be
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: painful to revisit. And perhaps most interestingly, because it's incredibly
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: difficult to articulate what happens to a child who grows
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: up being celebrated and scrutinized, rejected and rewarded before they've
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: even figured out who they are. Christy Carlson Romano is
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: one of the few who tries to articulate it.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: I think a lot about how highly functioning people at
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: early ages suffer later in life. And, you know, I
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: wonder what that kind of high-level grooming does to a
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: brain after many, many years of success and rejection and
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: high stakes. And then when you remove that purpose from somebody,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: you're like, well, now what am I doing? Who am I?
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I just don't know.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Christy was Wren Stevens on Even Stevens, the voice of
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Kim Possible and the star of Cadet Kelly. That was
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: a favorite of mine. For an entire generation, she helped
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: define Disney Channel. But what does it mean to grow
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: up with millions of people knowing who you are before
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: you've had the chance to figure that out yourself? And
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: what happens when the childhood you're trying to make sense
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: of is also the one people keep asking you to relive?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Christy has a term for this complicated relationship with fame
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: and identity in the past. She calls it narcissistic purgatory.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Narcissistic purgatory is a term that I discovered recently for
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: myself where I was like, it feels like I have
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: to keep talking about myself because that's what people want
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: me to do. But like at the same time, I
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: don't want to, but I have to because that's the
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: way that you continue making an income. And it's sad
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: because you're just kind of like, well, I could choose
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: to stop talking about it. But then at the same time,
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: what are we doing?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I guess there are plenty of stories about what happens
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: to child stars, but far fewer explore why the experience
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: can have such lasting effects. Why is being a child
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: star so damaging? Is there a way to escape the harm?
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: And would Christy do it all over again? It's time
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: to question everything with Christy Carlson Romano. Okay.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, those are a lot of questions.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: We're questioning everything. And you had a really long book.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: It's true. I had a lot of thoughts.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to get into it.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Me too. So you were such a big part of
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: millennial girls' childhoods. Whether we knew you as Ren Stevens
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: or Kim Possible or the captain in Cadet Kelly, millions
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: of girls grew up wanting to be Christy Carlson Romano.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: But what did Christy Carlson Romano want? What did you
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: want to be when you grew up?
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  Speaker 2: I had no idea. I don't think I ever really
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: had that question as a little girl. Really?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: My youngest is like, I want to be a watchmaker.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, where did you come up with that?
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: But I love the creativity of that insofar that she
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: can't even tell time, but she wants to be a
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: watchmaker and the dream of that. And so for me,
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I ever dreamed of being an
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: actress or dreamed of fame and stuff like that. I
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  Speaker 2: don't know if I ever really gave myself– I was
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: really just like a really shy kid with big personality,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: if that makes sense. I think that's like an extroverted introvert.
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  Speaker 2: I think that's how I am.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: You're an ambivert. Yes. Yeah. I was reading your book
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  Speaker 1: wondering how much of the dream of being an actress
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  Speaker 1: was yours and how much it was something that other
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  Speaker 1: people sort of held a vision for you with. Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: How much freedom did you have in deciding?
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  Speaker 2: I mean, at six and a half, like getting into
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  Speaker 2: this professionally, it seems kind of unfair to be like, yes,
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  Speaker 2: that's what you wanted to be. So therefore that was
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  Speaker 2: your whole life predestined for you. It's kind of like
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: if a baby, like it's an, I think it's an
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  Speaker 2: Asian cultures where they like put out different things and
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: the baby's supposed to crawl to whatever they're destined to be.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. They have like something for math, something for science,
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: something for arts or something. And it's like, they just
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  Speaker 2: put out the things and it's like a fun little
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  Speaker 2: like tradition of like the baby crawling to, to what they're,
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  Speaker 2: what they're most intrigued by. But I think it's really
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: hard to reconcile like, okay, because I was gifted and
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: talented as a younger person that that was like predestined
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  Speaker 2: for me to do that. I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: It's kind of undetermined still.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: And how do you feel about that?
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  Speaker 2: I feel a little bit sad, I think, because I
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: wouldn't put my daughters in that same position and perhaps–
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I'm not like that because it happened to me. So
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: when it comes to them, I just hope that they
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: are enjoying their time in whatever they're trying. And we're
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: trying many different things for them. So it's not like
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: we're not crossing off the boxes, but nothing has really
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: taken shape for them yet. That's like their big thing.
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  Speaker 2: And yet I'm still being very patient and like whatever
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: they want to do, we'll see over time. But again,
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: I think like if I was to give any advice
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: to anybody with stuff like this, it would be like,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: go slow. Because like once you really start to invest time,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: even if it was like competitive dancing, which is actually
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: how I got my start, like you got to go slow.
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: Like make sure your kid is having a good time.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: And not performing a good time.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: Right. Exactly. Like really checking in with them and being like,
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: you do have autonomy. You are your own person. Like
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: preaching that at a really early age, like the earliest
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: age possible. Like we do this now too. A lot
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: of millennial parents make sure that especially their young girls
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: like know that their body is their own and like
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: how to make sure that you don't let someone touch
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: you and things like that. And so that all goes
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  Speaker 2: along this whole larger concept of autonomy, that you are
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: your own person, your body and your soul.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And so there's a very deep question here of where does,
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: where does your autonomy like end and where does achieving
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: greatness begin?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, interesting. Well, I want to talk about greatness later
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: because you do have this thing in you. You want
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to win. You want to be great. But it seems
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: like you don't want it at the expense of your soul.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, maybe I'm a little too choosy. Maybe,
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, I know that right now where I'm at
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: is in such a place of gratitude and present state
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: of mind with the book coming out. And where I'm
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: at as a parent and a wife and stuff. And
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: so I'm identifying much more in the present moment. And
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: I think that's allowing me to have a little less
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: more like judgment on the process of this. Because I
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  Speaker 2: think I've lived this kind of chaotic, very ambitious lifestyle
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  Speaker 2: for so long. And now at 42, it's like you can't.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: help but want to slow down a little bit and
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: reflect on everything.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: That word reflect, I think, is so poignant here because
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  Speaker 1: you start off, you open the book with a story
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  Speaker 1: about peeing your pants on stage as a little girl.
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  Speaker 1: And you definitely write about the embarrassment. Like, I almost
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: could feel it secondhand reading your words. But what I
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: found so striking about the story is that you could
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: not say what you needed in that moment. Can you
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: take me back and tell us all that story and
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: share why you could not speak up? Sure.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I was like six and I was doing competitive dancing
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: like my older sisters. And I, you know, was needing
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: to go to the bathroom and maybe murmured it to
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: my mom, you know, but then she was so hell
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  Speaker 2: bent and late at getting me on the stage that
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: she was like, we're getting you ready. We're putting the
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: side ponytail in a tight twist. And like, got to
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: get you going. And the competitive mom, stage mom lifestyle,
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  Speaker 2: my mom had already kind of been in it. And
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  Speaker 2: I didn't even realize that until writing the book, but
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  Speaker 2: she'd already like fit really well into being a stage mom.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: It kind of just like, it is her personality to
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: be that she's not an aggressive person. In fact, she's
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: too passive if you ask me, but there's something about
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: the pathology of a stage parent. That's just like, just
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: get the kid ready and do what they need to do.
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  Speaker 2: Like they'll be fine. And that's, I was swept up
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  Speaker 2: in that.
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  Speaker 1: There's also like an element of living through them, right?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. I think my mom would say
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: a lot of things over the years about how I
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: reminded her of her mother and that her mother was
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: this like iconic thing to her, how she had this
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: big personality and could attract people to her. But then
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: my mom was shy enough to where I would have
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: to like ask for the bill as a child. I
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: think my mom's on the spectrum, to be honest with you.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: And living with a parent that's Yeah. is difficult, you know,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: in and of itself. It wasn't something that I really
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: explained in the book, but it's something that I would
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: want people to know is that she definitely has some
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: social issues that she was repressing and like, you know,
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  Speaker 2: living through me and sort of projecting the things that
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: she would have wanted for herself onto my personality.
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  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: That's really heavy.
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  Speaker 2: So the story is essentially that I had to go
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  Speaker 2: to the bathroom, didn't know how to ask, was kind
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: of pushed on stage and waiting to hear the results
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: of the competition. And then I pee my pants on stage.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: And it's like, I remember that so clearly because I
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: did that book called The Artist's Way a long, long
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: time ago. And it was like, go back and really
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: search what your first memories are. And that was my
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: first memory.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: What did you learn about being a good girl that day?
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: That you had to be compliant and you had to
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: perform and you had to do what the adults told
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: you to do or they wouldn't be happy with you
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: and you would feel unloved.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: You continued doing that for quite a while. What made
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: you get back on stage after that?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I don't think I really had a choice. I think
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: it was more like push the kid on stage, push
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: the kid on stage, push her on stage. And so
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I don't think that there was ever a thought of
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: doing something else or even a tantrum. I didn't even
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: really throw tantrums back then. I was a very compliant child,
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: which I think made me the perfect candidate to become
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: a child actor.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Do you remember the first Disney movie you actually watched?
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: I remember watching Wish Upon a Star, which was really,
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: really cute. And it was with Katherine Heigl. And it's
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: like a sister and they swap bodies. And it's like
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: really way before Disney Channel really became like its own thing.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: So Disney wasn't even really on your radar.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: No, not at all.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: Isn't it? It's kind of crazy that your name became
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: so synonymous with it.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: It's really wild, but I had no idea what it was.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I think we were really the first faces of the
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: channel when it first started to become a serious programming
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: block that competed with Nickelodeon.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: What struck me when I was like reading your book
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: and looking about or thinking about your characters is they
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: were all really capable girls. Like Ren Stevens was an
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: overachiever and had everything organized. Kim Possible could save the
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: world before dinner. Did these girls reflect who you were
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: or were you like living into these characters?
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I think I was wanting to be them very badly.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: And so I kind of just like, I breathed life
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: into them because I was projecting like the image that
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I thought maybe the world wanted to see the best
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: of me in.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: You said that you felt most like Kim Possible, right?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I think I was inspired the most by Kim Possible, yeah.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Why?
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  Speaker 2: Because she was so, she was undaunting when it came
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: to her self-confidence and her calling to help other people
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: and She was very selfless and she did it with purpose.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: And I think I fell in love with her because
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: of just how she was written. They wrote her to
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: be very well balanced. And I just loved that about her,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: that you could always count on Kim Possible.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Is that the role you're most proud of?
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Definitely. Kim is the role I'm most comfortable talking about
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: and getting excited to be like, yeah, I remember that
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: with the nostalgia of it. And just feeling like that
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: was the best experience.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: That's so special.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I feel like you kind of understood this idea of
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: main character energy before we had a name for it.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Like in the– you opened the book talking about doing
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: it for the plot.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: And so what was the plot that you had imagined
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: for yourself?
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: Let's see. I think the plot was keep booking work,
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: make mom happy– I don't even think I factored in
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: making money at all, like ever. I was so financially illiterate.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I just didn't even think about it. I let other
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: people handle it. And I would, you know, get a boyfriend.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: And I was very short-sighted, I would say.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: So you're going to have to reconcile this for me
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: because I believe you. And when I watch your videos,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: to go back to the idea of greatness.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like you are a striver. Like even there
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: was that video you did about Anne Hathaway and your career.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: And it made me feel like you had thought about
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: a certain level of success. For sure.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I think that when it came to having the stakes
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: be brought very high before me, like every day of
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: my life, like if we didn't get a certain part,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: we would have to go on to the next one
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: and to the the rejection and the issues that sort
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: of followed. And so that kind of started to haunt
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: me and kind of give me sort of a bad
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: tape in my head about how I was like not
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: good enough. And so I couldn't shake rejection off as easily,
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: but I could pretend it. I could pretend that I
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: was like okay with it, but I really wasn't. But
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: at the same time, the expectation was that get up,
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: keep going, get up, keep going, don't complain, get up,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: you know? So I think that the ambition was kind
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: of pushed on to me. And so that is my survival.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Demeanor.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: I think there's a survivalist inside of me that I
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: was taught by a very middle, middle class Italian family
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: from the East Coast. And the goal was, I remember
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: my dad saying, when you are at your lowest is
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: when you put on your fanciest outfit.
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: You know? And that's kind of the mentality that we
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: had where it was like, even if you're struggling, you
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: just keep fighting. And there's goods and bads in that,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: you know? Like I think like if you're not getting
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: the help that you need to kind of get to
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: know yourself, then when are you really learning to pivot
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: and do something that really feels right to you? So
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: your authenticity kind of is never really fully developed, your
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: sense of self.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: So you were more focused on the day-to-day surviving these auditions.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: You weren't practicing Oscar's speech in the mirror.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: No, I definitely wasn't. I think I was way more
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: caught up with whether or not I could succeed from
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: job to job and audition, audition.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: Isn't that weird?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: A little bit because I didn't want to be an
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: actor and I was doing an Oscar's speech in the mirror. Yeah.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: You know, and like you wanted this or presumably. Presumably.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Presumably.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Presumably. Yeah, I mean, it's interesting. Once I've written this book,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I've gone back in these conversations and came to find
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: that the dream wasn't really mine, you know? And that's
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: like a hard truth to come to terms with.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Because I do have such an appreciation. I think it's
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: easy to be like, boo-hoo, like, you were famous. Like,
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: why are you complaining? And that's the haters. But in
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: the same token, like, I– you can't blame me. Like
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what I was getting myself into. That
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: wasn't something that I came to understand I could say
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: no to.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Right. It was thrust upon you. No.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: And I was really grateful for the opportunities that I
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: was getting because that meant that I was succeeding. And
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: so all of, I also think you look at this
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: like a child who comes from a home that's a
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: little dysfunctional has to outcreate that. And I was trying
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: to do that. I was trying to make my mom happy.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: And really see forward her vision of my future. Because
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: I assumed that her vision of my future was the
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: best future for me.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: I think every kid does.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: It's a lot to unpack.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Did you audition to be Princess Mia?
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: So I never got to that audition, which is what
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: the longer version of the very cut down and viral
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: video is. I was meant to go on to the
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: audition and we had a longer day at Even Steven,
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: so I never got to audition for it.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, so, okay. Now this video makes more sense to me.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you. I know because people cut it down and
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: it's gone like the strangest amount of viral because it's
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: five years old.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: And it was part of like a 10 to 11
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: minute YouTube video where I said cheekily in the beginning. Oh.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: here's why you don't have Anne Hathaway's career. And then
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: it was like, I have all these anecdotes from the
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: time that I saw her on auditions to the time
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: that I bumped into her or, you know, and just
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: watching how archetypes like in casting, there's like, we are
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: looking for a brown haired, brown eyed girl. Like that's
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: just something that happened back in the day.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Well, you go into an audition and you see like
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: a hundred people that look almost exactly like you.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: There's a reason because they're looking for a type. And
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: so when I said that we Were similar. That's what
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I meant. And I guess it got lost upon the internet.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: Very easily.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: When do you remember being the happiest? Acting. Oh, acting? Yeah.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Hmm. Probably Kim Possible. I think because Kim Possible was
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: just so easy to lock into. And, you know, I
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: was behind... So it was like I was in front
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: of a microphone and I could kind of get out
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: of my head and just fully project my voice. And
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: then it wasn't like I was judging myself for my
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: singing voice or anything like that. So I think I
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: also really enjoyed doing Avenue Q on Broadway. That was
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: one of my happier times. But again, I had a
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: puppet in front of me and I was wearing all black.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting because Kim Possible is a cartoon.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So she's kind of like a puppet in that way.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: And the puppets are just like, right in front of
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: you and people are looking at the puppets. So you're
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: learning how to do that. I was in that for
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: about three months and I had a blast. Avenue Q
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: is like the coolest musical.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: It's a great one.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Yes. But I'm a theater dork.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: So.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, so am I a little bit. Yeah.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: When you write about the politics of Disney Channel. Okay.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I have so much heart for you. Like, I thought
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: about my middle school experience, and this seemed a thousand
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: times worse. Yeah. Like, I remember there was a girl who,
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: she was the first person to have a thong, and
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: she pulled it up past her hips and put her
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: jeans down.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: The whale tail. The whale tail. I didn't even know
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: there was a name.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: That's what it was called.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: And I went home and I told my mom I
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: needed a thong. And she was like, not in fifth grade.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: No way. Not in fifth grade. But I say that
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: to say there were people whose parents had different value
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: sets than mine, who were willing to do different things
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: than what I was allowed to do or what my
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: parents thought was okay. And when you write about Disney,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: it seems like that on steroids. Like, I don't know
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: how you survived. the middle school of Disney Channel.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I guess because we were so dislocated
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: from one another, the times that we saw each other
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: was like very strange where it was like, wait, but
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: you're going through the same thing I'm going through, but
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: your brand is different than my brand or your parents
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: are different than my parents. And so we all just
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: had a very strange way of interacting.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: With each other.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Still do, by the way. Like, I feel like the
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: times that I've seen other child actors is it's not
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: the easiest conversation to to have. Um, but we all
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: kind of know what each other's gone through. So it's like,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: we're already akin to one another, but like, there's so
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: much that's left unsaid when a child actor meets another one.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Because I think it's painful. I think that like, Oh, wow.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Most of them aren't going through their trauma, like maybe the,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: as fast as other people. And they're not wanting to
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: maybe talk about that stuff. And so like, I've had
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: a podcast in the past where I invited people on.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: And there were so many people that said no and
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: that just weren't interested in going down the road to
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: be like, so how was it for you? Because this
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: is how it was for me. Because I'm pretty much
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: an open book about this stuff now.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you are.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's not a comfortable conversation for a lot
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: of people. And I respect that, by the way. I do.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: I understand how you have to meet people where they are.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: In the book, You write about wondering why the opportunities
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: and support looked different for certain people. Hilary Duff, you
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: named Lindsay Lohan. When did you start noticing that?
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: On the set of Cadet Kelly, I write about how
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: I noticed her mom was like really just so good
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: at managing her brand and her career. And they also
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: came from money. And so I think like having sort
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: of that extra layer of resource like made it seem
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: like they were a lot less desperate. So like Hillary
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: could say no, whereas like with me, we were like
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: getting by from paycheck to paycheck and reinvesting and living
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: off of everything we made. So it was more like
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: we can't say no to anything. So I think like
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: there's power in the word no. And like if you
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: can teach your children that as early as possible, that's
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: what I'm trying to do.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I would put you on the Mount Rushmore of Disney
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Channel stars. Would you?
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: No, probably not. I mean, I think- But you were
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: one of the OGs. This is tough because I've been
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: asked this question before and I've actually politely declined to
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: make like my own roster.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Yes. Because I feel like- I like that. I politely declined.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Politely declined. That's the Disney version of that. I said no.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Speaking of the power of no.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Because I just don't want to discount anyone's career.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I think that, you know, having to be like, well,
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: these four people meant the most to Disney. And it's like, yeah,
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: there was like a hundred actors at this point. Like
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: there's new ones now and they're doing great things for
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: the channel. But The channel's not like it used to
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: be anymore. It's like a completely different thing.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was different. Yeah.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: One thing we can all agree on is that Disney
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: Channel was very different at that time.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Yes. So even though I think you were an OG.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Thank you. You write about being left out of a
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Vanity Fair piece in 2003 for Rising Stars. What did
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: that signify to you?
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: When the Vanity Fair article came out, I'd gone to
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: college and I was sort of struggling with being in
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: sort of the normal populace of an Ivy League school.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: I had had a pretty toxic relationship like right off
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: the bat. And I wasn't really thinking about going back
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: to Hollywood. I think I was like feeling like I
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: almost escaped it for a little while. And I was
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: living in this sort of fantasy world of like, I'll
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: get to it when I get to it. In my mind,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: I wanted four years off. Because I had been working
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: so hard for so long and I worked so hard
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: to get into college that I just felt like I
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: owed it to myself to have four years. I don't
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: know what I was thinking. Again, I was very short-sighted.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: But then when the Vanity Fair article came out, it
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: kind of shook me up to be like, this world
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: is exclusive and it's moving on without you. And I
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: was like, wait a minute, this is putting me in
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: a position to be like, I gave a certain amount
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: of time and energy towards this goal that my mom
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: and I had. And now it's kind of slipping away
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: from me. What I realized is that I didn't have
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: a team in place to kind of keep me in
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: the conversation. And I guess going to college probably took
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: me out of more potential opportunities had I stayed right
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: after Even Stevens and not just left. That's like when
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I went to college was right when the Even Stevens
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: movie was over.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, it's interesting though, like even now, because
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: you have all this knowledge and hindsight. But even now, like,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: you don't have an enormous team around you. Like, you're
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: very down to earth.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Was that a choice?
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't know if I can live with that
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: many people in my business. Like, I would say right
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: now is the biggest team that I've had in a
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: while because of the book and everything. And like, we've
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: we've kind of realized that we need to delegate in
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: order for it to kind of make the biggest splash
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: that it can make. And that's, of course, the goal
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: of any author, really. If they're not telling you that,
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: then they're lying because everybody writes a book so it
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: can be seen and it can be read and loved.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: But generally speaking, I work a lot with my husband
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: and I am really happy that way. It's just easier.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I've tried various different hires for social media help and
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: stuff like that. And a lot of times they're just
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: not simpatico with like what I'm trying to do, how
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: fast I'm trying to turn it around. And it's an
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: interesting dance, the current way of life for me. It's interesting.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: What do you mean by interesting?
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Like I'll get calls in to do things, but it's occasionally.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: So I got a call to do Special Forces for Fox,
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: which was like a whole nother chapter of my life
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: where My husband trained me. He'd been in the Marines.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: And I was like, can I actually do this? Is
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: this something I can take on? This like arduous physical
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: like reality show. And sure enough, like I made it
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: pretty far and didn't get hurt, didn't quit. And mentally,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I was perfectly capable of doing that. And it was
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: a great experience. And like I wouldn't change that for
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: the world. And then I got a call to be
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: in this Hallmark movie, which is coming out November 28th.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: It's like at Walt Disney World. And it's the first
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: movie of its kind to have been actually the first
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: feature shot in Walt Disney World and then the first
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Hallmark movie with Walt Disney in general. Like, it's the
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: best collaboration. And so I was like, this is amazing. Like,
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: I think that it is my work online that is
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: my resume at this point. I agree. You know, because
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: you're doing different things, so people are seeing you through
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: different lenses. But that's how much power you have in
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: your hands with your phone is that you can actually–
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: outcreate stagnancy. You can create your own momentum.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: How do you think about that in terms of what
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: you want? Because I can tell you, I see you
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: as a truth teller. I see you as somebody who's
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: a thinker and intellect. What are you trying to put out?
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Is that in line with what you're thinking?
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's a huge compliment. I really appreciate that.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: I do think I think a lot. And I think
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: that writing was the perfect way for me to get
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: those words or get those thoughts out and to tell
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: my story. And I think I was very private for
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: a really long time and finally just leaning into telling
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: like my lived experience to people, which seemed to get
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: a lot of interest online. I was like, well, this
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: is interesting because I'm not hurting anybody. I'm certainly not
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: malicious in the book. Like the book is telling only
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: stories that I think people can enjoy in a way
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: that's like, oh, that's fun to know, but it's not
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: harming a single soul. And so that's how my conscience
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: was with naming people. I was like, well, I'll name
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: certain people. I won't name others because the ones that
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: I don't name, those are the ones that hurt me
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: the most.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: The only person that I'm curious about is, in terms
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: of how she feels about the book as your mom, really?
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: Like even you saying earlier in our conversation, like my
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: mom is probably on the spectrum. Like how does she
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: feel when you say that publicly?
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: She probably won't like that. You know, this is the
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: first time that I've even said that. There's a lot
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: of firsts in talking about this book that are coming
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: up for me, but I know that my family loves
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: me very much. It's just that there's been so much
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: that's happened that we don't have the typical family dynamic anymore,
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: you know? And I took an entire year of no
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: contact with my family after I discovered that My money
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: was being used in ways that I didn't feel comfortable with.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: And I didn't know how much money I had. And,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: you know, I think that my mom has shown me
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: now at almost 80 years old that she can be
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: accepting of like my truth and her truth as being
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: two different stories. And I was like, we've got to
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: live in the present now. And we just have to
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: pick up and carry on instead of always talking about
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: the past. Like that was something that my mom always did,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: which is why I was like, is she on the spectrum?
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Because she would just repeatedly go on and on and on.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Do you remember that time? Don't you remember? And I'm like,
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: we're in the middle of talking about my kids and
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: then it always comes up or she'll tell strangers about it.
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: And it's like she lived in the past. It wasn't
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: like she could ever really accept where we were now.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: And she's finally at a point where, My dad's passed away.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: She has a companion. And I'm really happy for her.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: But I want her to live in the now of
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: it and try to have a relationship with me that's
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: based on truth. So I'm actually quite empowered by the
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: fact that she came to my book signing in Austin.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: And she was seemingly really proud of it. And she's like,
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I'll take everything on the chin.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: That's what she said. That's big progress.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: I think it's big progress. Because I think she was...
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: petty over the years she could get easily offended she
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: was manipulative at times and downright abusive and other times
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: when i was really young so now it's like i've
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: seen this lion of a person that i was fearful
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: of at times like just go to sleep and i
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: i so i'm always a little hesitant about our relationship
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: you know um but i do feel like the book
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: coming out has been sort of a a a bridge to,
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: to a more peaceful dynamic with her.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: Were you absolutely terrified to become a mom of girls
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: having that experience with your mom? Or were you excited
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: to try and do it a different way?
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: I was excited to do it a different way, you know,
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: and they say, God gives you what you can handle.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: So I was like, this is something I'm, I'm destined
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: to have girls, you know, like this is, this is
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: my karma. This is what I've got to do. And
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: I've got to raise them in the way that I
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: feel like I would have wanted to be loved and heard.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I mean, you feel that in the book because at
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: the end of each chapter, you write like a letter
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: to your girls, you know? So it's a big part
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: of you.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: It's actually a big part of anchoring the book is
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: my daughters. Like this book is as much for them,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: if not more for them, than it is for the
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: fans and supporters of it.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I want to ask you about the financial aspect you
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: mentioned because you really looked like you were living a
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: dream career as a child star. But there was a
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: lot of financial uncertainty. You said you weren't asking questions
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: about what was happening with your money. How much of
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: it was not knowing and how much of it was
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: just like trusting the people around you?
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: I think 90% of it was trusting people. My mom
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: seemed to have everything like that was her job. She
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: didn't have a job. I was her job. So I
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: just assumed that she was taking care of the money
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: the way that needed to be taken care of and
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: that we saved money through the Cougan account, but then
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: that money was allocated for my college experience. And then
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: any other monies that I was making was really lived
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: on and then utilized in ways that I don't feel
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: like really set me up for financial success in the future.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: And that's unfortunate. We can't change that. But Yeah, that
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: was something that I really entrusted people with instead of
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: getting my hands dirty and being like, okay, I really
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: need to know what an S-corp is. I really need
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: to know about profit and loss.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know that many 13-year-olds are asking those questions.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: 13, 16, 19, name your time that I just allowed
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: myself to kind of be ignorant to this experience of
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: financial literacy. Yeah. Yeah.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, you spent 20 grand on a crystal one time.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: It was more than that, though.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: It was more?
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. What do you mean? The 20,000 was like
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: the crystal, the minimum amount. Then the other stuff that
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: I was doing with that lady cost me thousands of
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: dollars as well, like the candles and whatever else she
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: had me do. It was just a weird time.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: How do you feel about psychics after that experience?
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: You know, I, my husband, funny story. My husband was
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: abducted by his biological father. And yeah, isn't that wild?
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: And so he was abducted when he was a baby
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: and was gone for, I don't know, like six to
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: eight months or something like that. And all of his
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: like first steps, his first birthday, they were all away
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: from his mom. His mom had him really early, like
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: she was 17 years old and broke away from this
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: abusive relationship. And he was found by a psychic because
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: they couldn't find him through the regular like FBI or something.
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: So the FBI used this lady and they hired her
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: and she knew exactly the county that he was in,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: the state he was in. They thought he was in Colorado.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: He was in Florida. And they found him because of her.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: So I, and he swears, he not only is swearing
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: by this, but his entire family knows about this, that
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: this happened. So I do believe that people have gifts.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: I think it's a matter of how they use them.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: When's the last time you saw a psychic?
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. I think I had my tarot cards
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: read at like, I had like a witch party.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: And I threw it like a full moon witch party.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: And I was like having fun with my girlfriends for,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: it's every Halloween that I do. I've done it. And
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: I had my tarot cards read, but she definitely didn't,
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: she didn't see a lot. We didn't know, tarot cards
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: are very different than like going to a psychic. That's
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: kind of like, I'm going to tell you that you
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: were cursed by like a coven of witches on your,
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: it's just like these weird stories that you're told by psychics.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: And then come to find out that this is something
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: that happens to a lot of people. And I've had
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: people reach out to me on DM and be like,
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: this happened to me. They took this amount of money.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: I think I'm the highest amount of money someone has
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: ever told me that they have gotten taken, but it's
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: still a lot. It's all right. I think we live
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: and we learn. And also like leaning into the chaoticness
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: of the experience is part of the book. It's like
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: laughing at it.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean, the title, it's Once Upon a Trainwreck,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: and it sort of flips that fairy tale language.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's like dysfunctional fairy tale vibes. That's the whole,
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: even just the look of the cover of it is
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: meant to feel like Belle has been fallen down the
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: wishing well or something and is like pulling herself out
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: of it. Yeah.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It's giving that. Yeah.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: But she's still glam. She's still a little glam.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: So I'd always known you as Christy Carlson Romano. I
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: was really surprised to read that your mom added Carlson
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: to a billboard promoting your Broadway show. Yeah. And so
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: it became part of your professional name.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm really learning as I interview people how common
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: that is. Jamie Lynn Sigler was on the podcast.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, I love her. She's in Austin too.
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: She's in Austin too. Yeah. And she didn't use her
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: full name professionally. A lot of people, I think, use
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: sort of like stage names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: you feel about your name?
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Well, Carlson has nothing to do with me. It's my
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: mom's maiden name. And the reason why she added it
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: was because she thought it softened the ethnicity. And I
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: was like, Romano is just a simple Italian name. But
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: for some reason it was like, I also think that
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: she was on the verge of divorcing my dad. And
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: so she thought that I would go by her name
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: if they divorced, which again, this is another example of
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: me being super compliant and not really thinking ahead much. Yeah.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Are you open to talking more about child fame?
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: Because I'm just sort of fascinated.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I read the piece that you wrote in Elle. It
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: was right after Hayden Panettiere passed. Yeah.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: So sad.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: She was 36 years old.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: It was right before her birthday.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm turning 36 in a few months. It's very young.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: And you wrote this really beautiful article and you compare
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: childhood stardom to CTE. Yep. How did you think of that?
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: What made that comparison feel right?
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: I think I'd had the notion about this comparison about
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: a year and a half ago. And my husband watches
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: football and he's talked about CTE for years. And he's like, oh,
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: that guy, he actually has friends who went into the
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: NFL and I've met them. And you can tell that
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: some of them have brain damage. And I think a
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: lot about how highly functioning people at early ages suffer
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: later in life. And so when it comes to an
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: NFL player, like they've been groomed from the time they
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: were very, very young to become a professional. And I
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: went to a performing arts high school and everybody there
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: was some sort of professional. And And they were either
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: a professional ballerina, a violinist, any kind of musician. We
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: had professional equestrians, kids from Cirque du Soleil, like you
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: name it. Like we had such a diverse student body. And,
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: you know, I wonder... what that kind of high-level grooming
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: does to a brain after many, many years of success
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: and rejection and high stakes. And the dopamine that you
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: have with all of your successes is so great and
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: so high because it's something that you trained your whole
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: life for. So it's like an Olympian. And then when
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: you remove that purpose from somebody, if you just take
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: it away, so like for an athlete or for somebody
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: who had early childhood fame, take that purpose away. They're
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: not a child anymore. And also they're not famous anymore
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: because they're not transitioned correctly.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: Then I think it becomes more complicated and more traumatizing
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: because then you're like, well, now what am I doing?
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Who am I? I just don't know. And so, you know, I.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: Think it's hard for the average person to understand because
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: we look at actors and think, They have money, they
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: have access, they have ease.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the last thing you do is feel sorry for
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: a celebrity.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, and it seems like such a unique experience that
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: only somebody who's lived it can understand. It seems very
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: hard to describe, actually.
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: And that's why I think the CTE comparison kind of
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: helped people encapsulate what I was talking about because we
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: talk about child actors always ending up a certain way.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: And with Hayden, people were trying to navigate how not
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: to compare her. And that there was all these layers
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: to her situation where it was like, okay, she passed away,
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: but it was laced. And like, we don't know like
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: who gave her it and all these ramifications. And so
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: it was really, it was really tricky for people to
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: grieve Hayden because they didn't know exactly what happened. But
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: one thing is for sure is that she was clearly
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: in her book, like deeply affected by the, you know,
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: lack of a relationship with her mom. I, you know,
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: my heart goes out to the whole family, of course.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: And it's a really messy situation in her case. But
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: sometimes we have people that are, you know, there's a
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Nickelodeon actor who's on Skid Row right now. And like,
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: there's been documentation of him having a hard time. And
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: there's all sorts of different people that are struggling. And
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: I've always said that it would be really interesting if
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: the union did an entrance mental health examination and an
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: exit mental health examination. And if they could actually do
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: data If when you join the union, you're asked, would
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: you want to opt into this? And then maybe that
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: would give pause to stage parents to be like, wow,
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: what am I doing? This must be a serious thing.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: I must really think about mental health as a normal
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: practice for my child as we go along this route.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: But the union doesn't really put a concerted effort in
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: the mental health of the child actors itself.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: I love that idea. And I don't even know if
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: parents would care.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: The ones that are at risk, the parents wouldn't care.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: That's the biggest problem.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: That's the problem.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: You'd have to make it a prerequisite in joining the
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: union because without joining the union, you can't work. So
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: my thing would be like, how much time is going
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: to go by that we have this kind of conversation
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: before we actually change it? And I can't tell you
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: that because I'm not storming the Capitol and being like,
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: we're going to change this for everybody. It's like, this
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: is me just sharing my lived experience, thinking as a
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: parent that You know, because this is really, I think
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: when I started to be more outspoken was when my
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: kids started to get a little older and I started
• 43:12
  Speaker 2: to unpack like the kind of parent I wanted to
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: be and the issues. And that's what came up for me.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: So I was like, I guess I shouldn't stay quiet
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: about this.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: I guess I'll share.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I've always learned that addiction is really covering up pain.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I've not had personal experience with it, so I don't know,
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: but that's what I've read. And you sort of write
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: in that piece like, We all sort of wonder, like,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: how could child actors, like, even not have addiction after
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: what they experienced? Right. What is the sort of, like,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: why is that such an easy jump for you? Oh, yeah.
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: Because of that dopamine. Because of the amount of dopamine
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: you're getting from your biggest wins. And then it's going
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: so high and then it's going so low. And so
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: you're self-medicating to sort of feel like you're in control
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: of your life. And so to me that seems very rational.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: To the broken brain, that feels rational. It's like, yeah,
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: this is what we're going to do to survive.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think that a parent's involvement can really
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: make that big of a difference?
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: Like if it was a presumably Elizabeth Zendaya type parent,
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: then we're assuming that Zendaya's parents are like.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: Right. We're putting Hillary and Zendaya in a category. Yeah.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: I think that they're probably a really big part of it.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: But I mean, I still think that there's a tremendous
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: amount of childhood lost in when you're in a professional
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: environment at a young age. I think you're losing out
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: on that socialization aspect that really informs who you become
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: as an adult.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: You say that becoming a public person recalibrates your DNA.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: It makes you get stuck in narcissistic purgatory. I love that.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: What a fascinating way to think about it.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, narcissistic purgatory is a term that I
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: discovered for myself where I was like, it feels like
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: I have to keep talking about myself because that's what
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: people want me to do. But like, at the same time,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: I don't want to, but I have to, because that's
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: the way that you continue making an income. And it's
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: sad because you're just kind of like, well, I could
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: choose to stop talking about it. But then at the
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: same time, what are we doing, I guess?
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: Well, why stay in the public eye then? Yeah.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Why state? Because the income is great because, because I
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: have a skillset that is been crafted over years and decades.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: And like, I have a film degree from Columbia university.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: So like for me, if as long as I can
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: do it on my terms, then we're talking. And if
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: there's opportunities that arise from what I've done, I think
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: I'm in the best situation that I can possibly be
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: in being given that I've crafted like a platform online
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: and it's, Not the biggest one, but it's highly engaged.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: And it just works better for me to know that
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: like I have autonomy over what I say, what I do.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: The algorithm sucks. Like we all as content creators have
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: to like live within that. But that's not personal. That's
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: like a very impersonal situation that you're contending with. And
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: it's just part of the job. So you can kind
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: of separate yourself from the algorithm and be like, well, okay,
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: we'll try again next time.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: What does getting out of narcissistic purgatory look like? I think.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: You would have to be really present and grateful, which
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: is what I'm trying to be now. And you would
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: have to be living a completely truthful life knowing that, like,
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: who you are is just who you are. You have
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: to accept that not everyone's going to like you. And
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: you have to move past your image and your identity and–
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: because I think part of the narcissistic purgatory suggests that
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: you hate yourself a little bit because you're like, I
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: hate having to talk about myself. I hate taking up space,
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: you know? But like, if you're actually okay with yourself,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: then you can move past it. And then if it
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: comes up, it comes up. And if it doesn't, it doesn't.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Were you able to get to a place where you
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: felt okay before you met your husband?
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: No, not at all. When I met my husband, I
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: was in a really dark place. That was like right
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: after the FBI case and everything. And like, we were
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: like when he met me, I was like really bad.
• 47:23
  Speaker 2: And it was like, just, he was sent to me
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: to say like, this is like a decent person who
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: you should give a shot to. And luckily, like I, I, yeah,
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: I'm just so grateful for him.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: So you feel like you sort of became okay in
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: that relationship?
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: No, definitely not. Like the relationship isn't what saved me.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: It's actually becoming a mom that really taught me to
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: like start to take care of myself. You know, it took,
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: I would, I would have been married like two years
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: before I got pregnant. And then when I got pregnant
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: was when we went to couples counseling and we started
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: talking and unpacking issues that we were having and, um,
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: things about being parents came up for us. And then
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: ideally we were like, Hey, should we talk about the
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: elephant in the room, which is like Christie's drinking habits.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: And it came up and then little by little, the
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: more we talked about it, the more I was like, yeah,
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: I think I do have a problem with alcohol. And
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: I come from like a long line of alcoholics. And like,
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: this is just a part of my DNA.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Do you know the specific pain that you were covering
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: up with the alcohol?
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: I think it was loneliness.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: I think it was like the little girl that couldn't
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: be herself and make her own decisions. I think that
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: the drinking kind of made me feel a lot better.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: And like it quieted the voices of like criticism and
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: having that tape play again and again and again, and
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: just not wanting to hear that tape and just silencing
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: it for a little while. It just quieted those voices.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: And do you feel like we get the full picture
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: of who you are now online?
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. And I think that's very,
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: that's important. I think that I've been sharing a lot
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: because of the book. I've been sharing a lot of
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: my personal experiences, but that won't continue. You know, I
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: think that, I curate for a reason because I think people,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: don't deserve necessarily to see every single inch of your life.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: I don't post my kids for that reason, but I
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: can still have fun and we can still engage and
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: we can still do fun trends and things can still
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: be fresh and interesting. I have plenty to talk about.
• 49:36
  Speaker 2: I'm just learning more and more about what I want
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: to talk about. Right now, the book is showing the
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: rawest version of myself, but I don't know if I
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: could keep that up. That feels like very unsustainable for me.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: You had this podcast that you mentioned earlier. It was
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: called Vulnerable.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: And you would interview child stars. Was there a through
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: line you saw? I can imagine hearing people's stories was
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: a little bit validating.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was very validating because It's funny because when
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: I see a child actor from across the room, even
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: if we don't know each other, we're 1% of 1%.
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: It's like you know that they know that you know
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: that we know that there's an experience there of working
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: really hard. I almost can't explain it.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: I know. When I hear people say working really hard,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I think I'm not alone when I'm like, what does
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: that mean? Because it seems traumatic the way that you
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: say it, the tone. It's like, is it 16 hours
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: a day? What is the heart?
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: Once you turn 18, it's 12 and over time. But
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: before that, it's 10. And then when you're a lot younger,
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: it's eight hours a day. And that's child labor. That's
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: child labor. At a certain point, you're like, yeah, are
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: you are you paid well for your child labor? Yes.
• 50:52
  Speaker 2: But like the process of it is child labor. Like
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: you're not in a factory working, but you're somewhere working
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: and you're not playing outside and seeing the grass and
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: meeting friends and eating snacks. Like, you know, it's just
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: a very different life experience. And childhood, I think the
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: most important thing to focus on is that childhood is
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: so quick. It goes by so fast. fast, that like
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: you want to cherish it. And as a parent, that's
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: how I feel. Like we want to make sure that
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: we like absorb the perfection of these moments and the
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: imperfections in a way that feels like loving and safe
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: and secure. It's all about creating like secure attachments. And
• 51:31
  Speaker 2: so when you're in an adult working environment, like a
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: part of you is stunted in your maturity. So like
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: you're very overly socialized, but then you're also under socialized
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: in other ways. So you're not really, you don't really
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: get a clear head of at making decisions.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: What do you consider the most successful era of your life?
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I feel like this one is my most successful
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: one because I think I'm most present. I feel the
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: most supported.
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: And loved by my daughters, by my husband, even by
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: my team. Like the team at Simon & Schuster were
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: so supportive of me throughout this whole process, these two
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: years of writing this book. And I'm just really, really
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: grateful for where I'm at. Like there's nothing that I
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: would change. If I could, I would be doing what
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: I'm doing now for a long time.
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: That's so lovely. Mm-hmm. Is there something that you are
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: hellbent that your daughters will not learn the way that
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: you did?
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that they're worthy. I want them to know that
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: they're worthy of being loved. And I don't want them
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: to think that, you know, they have to perform in
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: order to be loved. I want them to really feel
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: like they can be themselves and that that's okay.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: One thing I loved from your book is you say
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: you wish someone had told you to ask questions and
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: then actually listen for the answers. Mm-hmm. What is a
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: question that you wish you'd asked sooner?
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: Why? The one that comes up for me when you
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: ask this is why am I doing this? Like, yeah,
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: I think like you're asking really great questions today. And
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: I think the why of it is really important because
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: you have to be intentional. You know, I was not
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: intentional whatsoever. And yet everything was so intentional at the
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: same time.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the why.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: The why of why you do things.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Is the why now your girls?
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: Yes. It is now my family.
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: You found pieces of your own story in so many books.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: Was there one that made you stop and think, wow,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: this explains something about me that I'd never understood? Yeah.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: No, I definitely found myself in I'm Glad My Mom Died.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think it was so refreshing to see
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: my truth reflected back at me through the lens of
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: another person. It's like, oh, cool. Like we, we, we
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: are feeling this as a collective, as a collective like population.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: And that was really meaningful. And I remember listening to
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: the audio book and reading the book. I mean, like I,
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: I devoured her book. It was, it was beautiful. Jeanette's
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: actually reached out and was really supportive of my book.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: And that meant so much to me because I was like,
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: I championed her book on my podcast. And I was like,
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: I didn't even think she saw my messages because she
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: was just so inundated. And when she was like, I'm
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: really rooting for you. Like, I'm so proud of you.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: I was like, this is camaraderie. Like, this is what
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: it looks like when we actually work together. And if
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: we were all actually able to work together in a
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: larger capacity, like imagine what we would be able to do.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: It would be like, we could actually help kids and change.
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: But we're very dislocated. Like, it's strange to me how
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: we're all sort of not talking to one another. There's
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: no Facebook group for child actors. There should be. There
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: should be, but there's not.
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There should be like a WhatsApp chat at least.
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: There really should be. There really should be.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: If little Christy could see your life now, what would
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: you most want her to know?
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: It's going to be okay. You know, I think like
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: the fear of things not being okay is what propelled
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: me into self-sabotage and self-harm and like just desperate, desperate decisions.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: And if I would have had the understanding that things
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: work out the way they're supposed to work out and
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: have this like sort of almost like otherworldly acceptance and
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: believe that there's a higher power and believe that something
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: is navigating this for us as long as you have faith,
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: I think that I probably would have had a little
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: bit more belief in myself. And so that would have
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: been really important for me to hear.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: So with that idea in mind, would you do it
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: all over again?
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: I think yes and no. I think I would do
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: it all over again if I knew what I know now. Like,
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: that's the thing is like, I think if I knew
• 56:06
  Speaker 2: how to say no and sort of come to terms
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: with my talent and say, okay, I'm talented. Does that
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: really matter to me? Like, what really matters to me?
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm investing all this time and energy and time matters.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: And I'm Where do we want to put my time?
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: Do I want to travel the world? Because I'm young
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: and I don't have kids yet. Like those kinds of things. Yeah.
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: That's about it.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I have some rapid fire questions for you. Oh, cool. Okay, great. Okay.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: A Disney movie that you wish you starred in?
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, no.
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: That I wish I starred in. Oh. I'm not saying
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: Princess Diaries.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Okay.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing it.
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know that was Disney. Cadet Kelly or
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: Cheetah Girls? Cadet Kelly. It was so good. It was.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: Which could you nail right now? Ren yelling, Louis! Or
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: the Cadet Kelly drill routine or the Kim Possible theme song?
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: Always the Kim Possible theme song.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: Which Disney Channel star would you trust with your deepest secret?
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: Annalisa Vanderpool.
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: Which Disney Channel character would be an absolute nightmare to date?
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: Which Disney Channel character?
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to make you name a person. Okay, good.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: That's just me.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: That's a good idea.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, Louis.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: Louis Stevens would be absolutely impossible to date. And also
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: the brotherhood of it was really weird.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: Which Disney song you'll never skip?
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: I think Beauty and the Beast.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: Which former Disney star would you most want to reunite
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: with on screen?
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: Will Friedle, because then that would mean we would be
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: rebooting Impossible.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: Be honest with me. How many takes does it take
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: to do the Mickey ears?
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: Maybe a couple. Like it's not that hard because they're
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: going to– they put it over whatever your wand is.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: So like they're– that's a– if you notice, it's a
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: really thick line. So like– and they have like glitter
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: all around it. I've looked at this recently. And I
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: was like, yeah, there's no way that they could– that
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: you could mess that up. Right.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: They follow you. Yeah. We all used to do that.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: We would like be in each other's basements. I had
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: no idea.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: I had no idea that the wand ID, that's what
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: it's called, the wand ID that would be as big
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: as it became. It's really cute.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: It's really cute. Yeah. Okay, what's a parenting rule that
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: you swore you would never break and now you break constantly?
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: I let them stay up late.
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, a book that you'd make every aspiring child star read?
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: My book. Which Disney villain had a point?
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: I mean, if we're going like canon, I mean, when
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: I watched Maleficent, I'm like completely converted to being pro-Maleficent.
• 58:38
  Speaker 2: But that's only because Angelina Jolie, you know.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she was a great.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: I'll say yes to everything about her.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: What's your most Ren Stevens habit?
• 58:45
  Speaker 2: I do write a lot of lists. Like when I'm
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: ready to get down to business, I write those lists.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: And that is a very Ren Stevens thing to do.
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: What's one Y2K trend that you refuse to bring back?
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: Low rise jeans. Hands down.
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: Will you go mid?
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: Not even really. No, it's uncomfortable.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: What's something that every woman should try once?
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Going to the spa by themselves. Every woman should go
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: to the spa by themselves. because that is a holy place.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: It is such a special place to find yourself. And
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: if you go with your friends, it's fun, but it's
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: not the same as just going and pampering yourself. And
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: just doing your own thing.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: What's a book you read that changed your life, something
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: you think everybody should read?
• 59:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, The Great Gatsby is my favorite book. I
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: love that book. It totally changed my life. It's historical.
• 59:32
  Speaker 2: It's romantic. It's tragic.
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: It's just beautiful and whimsical. And I mean, I love
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: that book. I really do.
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: There's also like a class element in it. And you
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: talk about that in the book with your dad a
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: little bit. And so there's some of that.
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: There is.
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: There is.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: I definitely see myself as– which one was the– there
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: was West Egg and– And East Egg.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm the poor one growing up. That was us
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: kind of like– my dad, you know– had some financial
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: struggles over the years and it was a little hard
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 2: to feel like financially like confident in my parents and
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: so I think I can understand the class the class
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: issues for sure yeah.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Girls night in pick a card any card okay I
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 1: will not charge you $ 20, 000 for tarot.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: Please don't which everyone calls pick a card any card
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: it's your final question for free okay I love this
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: for us oh this is a good one these are
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: good questions If you could spend one full day as
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: a man, what's the first thing.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: You would do? Great one.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. I– oh, man, is this a good one.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: I would try to go the entire day without apologizing.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: That's a great one. Tell me why my answer is
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: I would pee at a Cubs game, like standing up
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: in one of those. They have like a trough. Yeah.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: That's so funny.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: Pee at a Cubs game. But no, I would try
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: not to apologize the whole day and see where that
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: took me because like we as women are apologizing constantly. Constantly.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: We don't even know that we do it.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Awesome. Christy Carlson Romano, you are so lovely. Thank
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: you for your time. Okay, you know what time it is.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: Today's a good day to have a good day. I'll
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: see you next week.