Latest / Deeply Well with Devi Brown / Take What You Need with Dr. Mariel Buque

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Take What You Need with Dr. Mariel Buque · Deeply Well with Devi Brown

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Speaker 1: Mm from grandmothers who whispered in their baby girl in
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Speaker 1: two fathers on dimly lit street corners, instructing young soldiers
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Speaker 1: to always keep their eyes open. You be queen, you
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Speaker 1: were fired. You will pass through centuries on the hands
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Speaker 1: of your daughters. They called you wisdom. Proverbs on the
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Speaker 1: backs of diamond eyed school children who growing into hymnals
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Speaker 1: recited by amethyst holding urban philosophers who recited neighborhood commandments
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Speaker 1: out of the windows of restored Alchemedo chariots to keep
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Speaker 1: the warmth of their blood, be wise, be smart, being black,
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Speaker 1: Opal Brown courts bloodstone and prayer. Be every form of
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Speaker 1: jim se King told, scribe, scribe, told son, son, told wife,
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Speaker 1: wife told her daughter, and daughter told the ant. This
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Speaker 1: is And the ancestors told me that you would come
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Speaker 1: to give wisdom thousands. They said you would come, Dropping
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Speaker 1: cham Dropping jem Hey, Welcome back to another episode of
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Speaker 1: the Dropping Gems podcast. I am Debbie Brown. I want
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Speaker 1: to say big thank you to everyone that has shared
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Speaker 1: this show that has hit me up on I g
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Speaker 1: that is added to our ratings and reviews on the
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Speaker 1: Apple app. Thank you so so so much for your time.
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Speaker 1: Oh Today's show. Okay, so full transparency everybody. Today's show
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Speaker 1: is starting a little bit different. I record this show
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Speaker 1: in Hollywood, California, in a studio, and today, on my
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Speaker 1: way to the show, less than fifteen minutes before I
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Speaker 1: got here and got in this chair, I had a
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Speaker 1: really challenging experience on my journey here, and it has
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Speaker 1: chain into the course of the episode a little bit,
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Speaker 1: and I'm going to have a chance to really dive
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Speaker 1: into real time ALcom izing challenges with the special guests
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Speaker 1: that I have for this episode. So I want to
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Speaker 1: share with you something that happened, and it's actually I'm
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Speaker 1: unpacking it as I'm talking about it. I was in
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Speaker 1: my car and I was on the one on one
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Speaker 1: freeway here in Los Angeles, and I was exiting and
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Speaker 1: as I exited the freeway, I was really enjoying my day.
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Speaker 1: I was listening to a playlist I like, I was
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Speaker 1: feeling really grateful, and I am coming off of the
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Speaker 1: ramp and merging into the road and this man in
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Speaker 1: a smaller car jumps off to the side, races to
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Speaker 1: get in front of me with like such a limited window,
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Speaker 1: and then slams on his brake with the hopes of
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Speaker 1: me maybe potentially hitting him or just being so shaken
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Speaker 1: now that it was literally like that experience when the
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Speaker 1: pedal has to immediately touch the floor and so the
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Speaker 1: back of your car kind of pops up a little
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Speaker 1: bit and everything rushes forward. And it was shocking and
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Speaker 1: very scary in the moment. I'm someone that has survived, um,
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Speaker 1: a tragic car accident where I was hit by a
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Speaker 1: drunk driver fifteen years ago and I had to be
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Speaker 1: pulled out of that car by the jaws of life.
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Speaker 1: And so I'm a really, really diligent driver because of that.
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Speaker 1: And so this experience thrust in me forward and I
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Speaker 1: was just in shock, and I started looking around, like
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Speaker 1: what is going on? The car behind me almost hit me.
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Speaker 1: It had to veer over, it almost hit that car.
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Speaker 1: It was just this big thing. And I look forward
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Speaker 1: and there is this man in the car in front
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Speaker 1: of me that did it, completely unprovoked, and now he's
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Speaker 1: leaning out the window, cussing me out and throwing water
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Speaker 1: bottles at me. Now, I did not cut this person off. Um.
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Speaker 1: This person and I had not even been traveling next
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Speaker 1: to each other during my journey, and I instantly reach
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Speaker 1: over to lock my doors and he were at a
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Speaker 1: stop at this point, we're at a stoplight and he
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Speaker 1: gets out of his vehicle and he comes over to
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Speaker 1: my car and he proceeds to say fuck you, suck
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Speaker 1: my white power, white power stupid, and then spits at
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Speaker 1: me and hawks the lugie onto my window. UM And
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Speaker 1: in that moment and all of this really just happened, UM,
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Speaker 1: I was very and I am very shaken up by it.
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Speaker 1: And it's interesting because some of the things that are
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Speaker 1: coming up for me is if you remember, for anyone
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Speaker 1: that has been listening to this show um Sits since
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Speaker 1: its inception, is that back in March or April, I
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Speaker 1: had a similar experience. And I also had an experience
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Speaker 1: of witnessing two men beating a woman UM on the
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Speaker 1: road that they had had a traffic interaction with. And so, yeah,
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Speaker 1: I'm sitting in this right now. I am excited to
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Speaker 1: welcome my guest, but I wanted to share this with
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Speaker 1: you and I hope to unpack this a little bit
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Speaker 1: more in the episode with my guest. But you know,
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Speaker 1: this moment in time that we're in, it's I think
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Speaker 1: this really illustrates how there is always going to be challenged,
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Speaker 1: and no matter what work we're doing, no matter how
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Speaker 1: diligently we're showing up for ourselves, there were going to
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Speaker 1: be other forces and other people that are unhealed that
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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, are looking to disrupt your existence. Um
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Speaker 1: And so that sits really really strongly for me in
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Speaker 1: this moment as I experienced that and kind of sit
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Speaker 1: with that in this space, and just also noticing how
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Speaker 1: sometimes we still have to compartmentalize, you know, like this
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Speaker 1: just happened, but you gotta go to work and you
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Speaker 1: gotta do this, and you gotta do that. And so
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Speaker 1: I just wanted to bring that forward. We're going to
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Speaker 1: explore that a little bit more and and just what
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Speaker 1: to do with those feelings of when you're feeling unsafe.
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Speaker 1: That that for me was pretty darring for multiple reasons.
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Speaker 1: I have had several experiences just in the last eight
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Speaker 1: months of feeling deeply unprotected by men and scenarios where
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Speaker 1: I have had men try to physically harm me and
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Speaker 1: minimize me. And so that's coming up right now. So
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Speaker 1: this episode will have joy. We are going to have
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Speaker 1: some join this episode. Two. Um My guest is really
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Speaker 1: a phenomenal woman, but I think that This is also
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Speaker 1: a good opportunity to unpack how to re tap into
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Speaker 1: joy in the midst of um also feeling deeply wronged
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Speaker 1: and physically scared. So let's see where this episode takes us.
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Speaker 1: And I'm so happy you're here. I'd like to share
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Speaker 1: with you now and introduce my special guest, Dr Mario Bouquet,
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Speaker 1: who was in New York City based psychologist, disruptor and
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Speaker 1: sound bath meditation healer. Her work centers on healing wounds
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Speaker 1: of intergenerational trauma for black and Indigenous people of color,
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Speaker 1: holistic mental wellness, and the de colonialization of Eurocentric healing practices.
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Speaker 1: I had a chance to first communicate with Dr Mariel
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Speaker 1: when I was doing in i G Live for the
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Speaker 1: Choper Channel and I had started following her on Instagram,
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Speaker 1: and I was just really connected to her radiant joy
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Speaker 1: and beauty. You can feel her through the screen. She
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Speaker 1: says so many beautiful, deeply rooted uh shares, so many
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Speaker 1: tools that she offers on her page, and her work
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Speaker 1: really resonated with me, and it felt so connected to
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Speaker 1: my heart in the way that I experienced this work
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Speaker 1: and I experienced myself. So I had a wonderful chat
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Speaker 1: with her on i G Live, and I was really
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Speaker 1: looking forward to bringing her here into this space and
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Speaker 1: really diving into her expertise in ritual and how to
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Speaker 1: build ritual for ourselves and somatic practices of how to
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Speaker 1: really integrate the experiences that we are having with our
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Speaker 1: healing and with our joy. So I think it's also
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Speaker 1: probably very very divinely put that she is my first
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Speaker 1: guest after having this experience. Uh So, I want to
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Speaker 1: welcome to the show without further ado, the amazing Dr
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Speaker 1: Marriel Luquet. Hi, Betty, so good to be here with you,
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Speaker 1: buy me with you once again. I'm so excited that
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Speaker 1: we get to join in conversation again, which is always
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Speaker 1: a joy for me. How lucky am I? How lucky
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Speaker 1: am I? You just have the most radiant light, And
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Speaker 1: I think that's why I'm like, let's let's talk about
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Speaker 1: this work, because I just love the light that you
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Speaker 1: emanate and the way that you teach. It's so juicy
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Speaker 1: and beautiful. Jessey is the first for me and I
9:27
Speaker 1: will take that in and love upon it, and for
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Speaker 1: my work to be juicy is everything, Because I I
9:35
Speaker 1: like to say, I would bring all this off very
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Speaker 1: very aligned, very aligned. I love, I love. So first things. First,
9:47
Speaker 1: tell me how have the last however many months of
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Speaker 1: the pandemic been for you? What is something that has
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Speaker 1: come forward that may have been surprising for you or
9:57
Speaker 1: may have felt maybe are shame for you in this
10:01
Speaker 1: process of a global pandemic. Yeah, I mean the pandemic
10:07
Speaker 1: has been like it's been like the multiple pandemics, right,
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Speaker 1: you know, like one layered on top of the other.
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Speaker 1: And um, you know, as a mental professional, I definitely
10:18
Speaker 1: like do a lot of coping ahead, right, So thinking
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Speaker 1: ahead to oh, this is about to be a year,
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Speaker 1: you know, and regardless of how much I don't have
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Speaker 1: at my dispose as far as like telling the future, right, like,
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Speaker 1: I still, um you know, can elicit within me some
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Speaker 1: sort of a centeredness and groundedness for me to be
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Speaker 1: able to be fully present for the people that I serve, right,
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Speaker 1: And so it's been a lot of that. It's been
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Speaker 1: a lot of oh take a pause, because um, you know,
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Speaker 1: this week will be election week and people will be
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Speaker 1: really an utter turmoil. And the people that serve that
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Speaker 1: are your you know, your your actual clients, um, which
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Speaker 1: I serve a predominance almost kind of like a ninety
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Speaker 1: people of color, black in indigenous people of color. And
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Speaker 1: so I knew that there would be a lot that
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Speaker 1: people would be carrying, and that I would be, you know, uh,
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Speaker 1: the vessel upon which they would deposit, and then my
11:23
Speaker 1: cup would be have to be full, right, and and
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Speaker 1: so there's all of that, like a lot of filling
11:27
Speaker 1: of cups in this year for sure, in order to um,
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Speaker 1: you know, be able to be a present mind and
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Speaker 1: spirit for others for sure, and for somebody like you
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Speaker 1: who is a mental health professional and is also a
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Speaker 1: healer and creates, creates, creates for so many people. How
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Speaker 1: do you fill your cup? What does that look like
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Speaker 1: for you? How does the healer heal? How does the
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Speaker 1: healer heel? I just love your questions. I have to say,
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Speaker 1: sacred pause on your questions, just like breathe that in UM,
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Speaker 1: just so beautiful. Thank you for for framing it that way. UM. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: you know, like I I'm super intentional about being able
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Speaker 1: to invite in a ritualistic practice of self care, right
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Speaker 1: Like I am. I Like I'm made up of like
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Speaker 1: water wherever whatever, they're like cellular things that were made
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Speaker 1: up of and like self care, I think that that's
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Speaker 1: literally like what I am body in my body, right, um,
12:31
Speaker 1: because I do it so so much, um, and I
12:35
Speaker 1: have gotten to a point where I'd like to say
12:37
Speaker 1: it's like maybe a little a little bit of a
12:42
Speaker 1: step beyond what I envisioned for myself as far as
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Speaker 1: self care and grounds in this, which is that I
12:47
Speaker 1: I start off really early in the day. My start
12:51
Speaker 1: is now anywhere from five to six am, um, And
12:54
Speaker 1: I definitely take an approximate hour and a half to
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Speaker 1: two hours of the top of my day to act
13:00
Speaker 1: really fill my cup in a very virtualistic manner. Yeah,
13:05
Speaker 1: it matters to me, you know, to be able to
13:07
Speaker 1: do that because look at what the world has for
13:10
Speaker 1: you ahead of you right in your day. Um, that
13:15
Speaker 1: is unprecedented, precedented, and we just don't know, right. So
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Speaker 1: it's important for me to to start off with balance.
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Speaker 1: So the things that I do at the top of
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Speaker 1: my day, UM, I start off with you know how
13:29
Speaker 1: people do gratitude journals, like I actually do it like
13:33
Speaker 1: something that is more kind of in the mind. Right.
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Speaker 1: So I I practice, you know, gratitude for the very
13:40
Speaker 1: minimal things that I have. I have the breath of life, right,
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Speaker 1: I'm grateful for that every morning I have a warm home,
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Speaker 1: like I actually get to feel warmth right and not
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Speaker 1: be cold and shelterless. Right, Um, there are things that
13:56
Speaker 1: I have in my home that I'm grateful for, my
14:00
Speaker 1: pet um, the fact that I'm surrounded by love. There's
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Speaker 1: so many things that are just those small things that
14:08
Speaker 1: get me started in um in the right place and
14:11
Speaker 1: the right frame of mind. And that's still what I'm
14:13
Speaker 1: in bed right And when I transition into the rest
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Speaker 1: of my ritualistic practice, this starts embodying like different things.
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Speaker 1: I transition into making my coffee and my tea, and
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Speaker 1: that in and of itself is a ritualistic practice right
14:29
Speaker 1: there is you know, I enter into this like mindfulness
14:34
Speaker 1: realm where I am even though I know what the
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Speaker 1: coffee smells like, I'm still you know, taking myself through
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Speaker 1: the aromatic experience of I'm touching the leaves of the tea.
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Speaker 1: I'm like really being grateful for everyone that was a
14:50
Speaker 1: part of the process of the journey to getting this
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Speaker 1: into my home, right down to the person who planted
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Speaker 1: the seed. And it's something that just so slowed down
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Speaker 1: and in the moment and it allows me to take
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Speaker 1: sacred pause to just embody the fullness of the experience
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Speaker 1: of what I am having in that very moment, rather
15:12
Speaker 1: than like put the tea on, go, turn on the computer,
15:16
Speaker 1: you know, get it going, get the day started. Like
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Speaker 1: I I take a full on pause. I do journal,
15:22
Speaker 1: but that's right after I make my coffee, and then
15:25
Speaker 1: I sit in my meditation area that I created for myself,
15:28
Speaker 1: my little nook, and I start journaling. And I do
15:31
Speaker 1: ancestral journaling as well. So I write to my ancestors,
15:35
Speaker 1: you know, and gratitude and and then an inquiry right um,
15:41
Speaker 1: and inquiring upon their wisdom. And you know, I do
15:47
Speaker 1: a lot of sell bath meditation healing for others, but
15:50
Speaker 1: I start my day by doing it for myself and
15:53
Speaker 1: being able to embody the sound vibrations that um are
15:58
Speaker 1: very healing and therapeutic and have and for centuries for
16:00
Speaker 1: our ancestors when you know, we utilize the drums, we
16:03
Speaker 1: utilize you know, singing bowls in many ways to heal
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Speaker 1: the body. And so yeah, I take well to that
16:09
Speaker 1: as well. I mean I could go on for like
16:12
Speaker 1: the whole entire episode, so I'll pause there. But that's
16:16
Speaker 1: kind of like where it starts hold that thought, we
16:21
Speaker 1: are coming right back. Yes, I love all of the
16:36
Speaker 1: ritual talk um really ritualizing everything, Like I look at
16:41
Speaker 1: everything I do as an opportunity for ritual. And I
16:44
Speaker 1: love the way you've illustrated your morning because you know,
16:48
Speaker 1: even the idea of making a t for ourselves, it's
16:50
Speaker 1: like we can deepen the experience by sipping it slowly.
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Speaker 1: How does the warmth feel in your mouth? How does
16:58
Speaker 1: the warmth feel going down your throat? It's in my stomach.
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Speaker 1: What does that feel like? Do I feel nourished? Do
17:04
Speaker 1: I feel full? What's the taste? Let me smell it,
17:08
Speaker 1: you know, enlivening our senses. It's so powerful. And that's
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Speaker 1: really one thing that I think that I've come away
17:16
Speaker 1: with um one of the many things with this pandemic.
17:20
Speaker 1: It's it's re taught me how to experience time within myself. Wow.
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Speaker 1: So that's slowing down of even in those tiny moments
17:29
Speaker 1: like connecting to that joy. Like first I'm observing, Wow,
17:34
Speaker 1: that that warmth feeling that feels good, that feels like nourishing.
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Speaker 1: My senses like it, And then it's like, oh, I
17:41
Speaker 1: feel grateful for that. That actually makes me feel happy.
17:43
Speaker 1: I connect to joy in that and then that's how
17:46
Speaker 1: we really start building those little connective fibers of like, oh,
17:50
Speaker 1: that's what joy feels like, that's what joy means, that's
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Speaker 1: what Yeah. Absolutely, And when you when you spoke, it
17:57
Speaker 1: almost kind of took me into you know, fifty years
18:01
Speaker 1: from now, right, like, what do we want to tell
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Speaker 1: our great grandkids you know that we were doing with
18:07
Speaker 1: time right, um, and just the joy of being able
18:11
Speaker 1: to you know, like impart that knowledge upon them, Like
18:14
Speaker 1: you know, time is within you. You know you can
18:17
Speaker 1: embody um, time as a slow tempo right and just
18:22
Speaker 1: like really take in everything that is available to you
18:26
Speaker 1: and these very small yet fruitful and important moments. Yeah,
18:30
Speaker 1: And it's just like it's so beautiful that to even
18:33
Speaker 1: have that story within you right now that you can
18:36
Speaker 1: then share with your son, and your son can share
18:39
Speaker 1: with his son and you know, and the and the
18:42
Speaker 1: journey continues, and it's just like so you know, it
18:45
Speaker 1: just makes you think, like, wow, we're doing such work
18:48
Speaker 1: even in these small moments um to create healing and
18:54
Speaker 1: and and you know, profound relationship with ourselves that we
18:59
Speaker 1: can then transition on into the future generations and there's
19:03
Speaker 1: so much beauty in that. Yeah, yes, I love when
19:07
Speaker 1: so you brought up my son, and I would love
19:09
Speaker 1: to add that ways that I'm trying he's too, so
19:13
Speaker 1: you know, it's a little challenging. Um, but the ways
19:16
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to just in early stages convey access
19:21
Speaker 1: to joy to him, it's really just by like like
19:25
Speaker 1: adding depth to his emotional language, even at two. You know.
19:29
Speaker 1: So it's like if he likes something, or he says
19:31
Speaker 1: like if he's eating and he says he wants more.
19:34
Speaker 1: Right now, he's obsessed with eating corn on the cob.
19:37
Speaker 1: It fills his little body with so much joy and
19:40
Speaker 1: so like more corn, more corn, mommy. And so then
19:43
Speaker 1: I'll say is it tasty? And it's like so tasty,
19:46
Speaker 1: and I'm like, is it delicious? Look the corn is
19:50
Speaker 1: so beautiful. It's yellow, and he's like beautiful corn. And
19:54
Speaker 1: he'll just run through the house saying that at dinner it,
20:00
Speaker 1: which is wildly adorable to me as his mom. But
20:03
Speaker 1: also it's like, you know, that's giving him, in really small,
20:07
Speaker 1: bite sized ways, access to understanding his connection. It's like,
20:12
Speaker 1: how can I take it past? Oh? I like it.
20:14
Speaker 1: I'm I'm enjoying it too. Wow, this this feels good.
20:18
Speaker 1: I know how to sink inside of myself. I know
20:20
Speaker 1: how to be present with the things that I enjoy
20:23
Speaker 1: and like, and those are like small ways that I'm
20:26
Speaker 1: kind of trying to convey that and scene where it
20:28
Speaker 1: leads us. Mm hmmm. I love that usaid leads us
20:33
Speaker 1: because um, as you were speaking and thinking, that joins
20:36
Speaker 1: and reverberating right back to you. Right. You know, you're
20:40
Speaker 1: you're kind of expanding the joyous moment for him, and
20:44
Speaker 1: then it expands it for you as well, which is
20:47
Speaker 1: a beautiful, you know, kind of transgenerational like moment. Yeah,
20:53
Speaker 1: you know, I had I had a whole outline for
20:55
Speaker 1: all of the things that I want to talk to
20:56
Speaker 1: you about and and we are definitely going to get
20:59
Speaker 1: to as my which just possible. But while I have you,
21:03
Speaker 1: you know, I shared with the audience already, and I
21:05
Speaker 1: shared with you as we were getting started, something that
21:08
Speaker 1: I just walked into. And with your expertise, I think
21:12
Speaker 1: we should actually explore this and I would love your
21:16
Speaker 1: depth of understanding of how to process events like this.
21:20
Speaker 1: Um So at the at the introduction to the show,
21:23
Speaker 1: I shared the story that I shared with you, which
21:26
Speaker 1: is on my way here. Um, this man, uh, there
21:32
Speaker 1: was this racially motivated um circumstance. I don't know, I
21:39
Speaker 1: don't know quite what to call yet. I'm still processing
21:42
Speaker 1: all of this happened less than forty five minutes ago. Um,
21:46
Speaker 1: But I want to share some of the things I'm
21:47
Speaker 1: observing in myself and I would love your expertise, um
21:52
Speaker 1: and guiding me through some of this. So you know
21:56
Speaker 1: the thing that I first noticed. I'm on my way
21:59
Speaker 1: to come work, right on my way to my podcast
22:02
Speaker 1: and to the studio which is in Hollywood, California. And
22:07
Speaker 1: how how easily it was for me to compartmentalize something
22:13
Speaker 1: that made me feel so unsafe. It's really hard for
22:18
Speaker 1: me to feel unsafe. But in that moment, as this
22:20
Speaker 1: person is at my window and saying, you know, suck
22:23
Speaker 1: my d fub and you know, all of these things,
22:27
Speaker 1: and I'm like, there's no one around to help me,
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Speaker 1: No one cares. Oh my god. And so even though
22:34
Speaker 1: I'm like trying to be strong and I'm like, you know,
22:36
Speaker 1: get the hell away from my car, I'm I'm yelling
22:39
Speaker 1: at him to get away from me. I'm shaking, like
22:42
Speaker 1: I'm physically shaking and then noticing that vulnerability and myself
22:46
Speaker 1: is making me even more scared um. And then you know,
22:51
Speaker 1: the transaction lasted a few minutes and when it finally ended,
22:54
Speaker 1: it's like I turned the corner. Now I'm at my podcast.
22:57
Speaker 1: Now I come upstairs, and now I'm like, all, hey,
23:00
Speaker 1: let's get to this show. And it just really brought
23:03
Speaker 1: forward for me in noticing that one how I have
23:09
Speaker 1: learned too and known to do that my whole life.
23:11
Speaker 1: And that's kind of that concept of force resilience that
23:14
Speaker 1: I speak to quite a bit. But it's like, wow,
23:17
Speaker 1: that's really what that is in action, Like they're not
23:19
Speaker 1: being time to process, they're not being maybe um access
23:24
Speaker 1: to compassion or support or understanding and then just having
23:28
Speaker 1: to instantly go into something else and bring your enthusiasm
23:32
Speaker 1: to it and bring your personal power to it. But
23:35
Speaker 1: that situation still existing, and that's still right now. I
23:38
Speaker 1: can feel it in my gut in this moment, and
23:41
Speaker 1: it still is holding a little bit of space in
23:43
Speaker 1: my heart. And yeah, I really started thinking about like ancestrally,
23:48
Speaker 1: you know, I think our generation speaks so beautifully now
23:52
Speaker 1: to connecting to our ancestors and we do have platforms
23:55
Speaker 1: to really do anti racism work and speak truth to power,
23:59
Speaker 1: as my my beautiful friend Lovey says, um. And those
24:04
Speaker 1: are those are typically showing up in the moments that
24:08
Speaker 1: are rare or or in the moments that are smaller
24:11
Speaker 1: passive moments like you're being followed around a store or
24:15
Speaker 1: because of your race or what you look like, or
24:18
Speaker 1: you know, maybe you remember three times in your childhood
24:22
Speaker 1: seeing racism or or beginning to understand what it was.
24:25
Speaker 1: But for our ancestors and our elders in this country,
24:29
Speaker 1: especially what I experienced today, they might have experienced five
24:34
Speaker 1: times in one day. Yeah, and really under like that,
24:38
Speaker 1: actually like that thinking it and really understanding the amount
24:43
Speaker 1: of stress that that puts on your body. Like understanding
24:47
Speaker 1: that felt more ethereal, Because when I think of moments
24:51
Speaker 1: that I've encountered racism in my life, they have been
24:53
Speaker 1: like really specifically big moments that were so clearly um wrong,
25:01
Speaker 1: but spanned out right. It's not something that every single
25:04
Speaker 1: day someone was trying to spit on me like that
25:08
Speaker 1: man did today, or scream at me or tell me
25:11
Speaker 1: that I'm worthless, or called me out of my name,
25:14
Speaker 1: you know, like that doesn't happen to me normally, but
25:19
Speaker 1: it did happen two people that came before us the
25:23
Speaker 1: entire day all day. Yeah, gonna happened to you, right?
25:29
Speaker 1: And I think that there is like, because you are
25:31
Speaker 1: such a compassionate being and you hold um ancestral knowledge
25:36
Speaker 1: and compassion within you. UM, you're already going into a
25:43
Speaker 1: place where you're like, what what could this have been like?
25:46
Speaker 1: For them? And UM in this very moment. I think
25:52
Speaker 1: that perhaps them and I are wondering, you know, what
25:56
Speaker 1: this has been like for you, right, UM? And and
26:01
Speaker 1: how you're doing and how you're holding up in this
26:04
Speaker 1: moment where you haven't necessarily gotten a full chance to
26:10
Speaker 1: process and sit with the terrorizing that has happened to
26:15
Speaker 1: your mind, body, and spirit. At this moment, I'm just wondering.
26:20
Speaker 1: I want to check in with you. I want to
26:22
Speaker 1: thank you. Just know how you're doing? Are you holding on?
26:27
Speaker 1: You know? I feel I think foremost, I feel grateful.
26:31
Speaker 1: I feel really grateful that my son wasn't in the
26:33
Speaker 1: car with me, that who's not with me right now,
26:35
Speaker 1: because I think that would have really, UM, I don't
26:38
Speaker 1: know what I would have done, you know. UM, I
26:41
Speaker 1: think there's a piece of me that is fighting inside
26:45
Speaker 1: in this moment. You know, this will be very shocking
26:49
Speaker 1: probably for a lot of people to hear on this show,
26:51
Speaker 1: But like I used to be someone that really was
26:55
Speaker 1: ready to fight based on my background. You know, I
27:00
Speaker 1: was somebody that can go from zero to a hundred
27:03
Speaker 1: and and really like stand toe to toe with people.
27:07
Speaker 1: And I've done so much work around that, and around
27:11
Speaker 1: transmuting and dissolving any rage or any feelings like that
27:15
Speaker 1: and being able to, you know, not take other people's
27:19
Speaker 1: projections and dysfunctions personally. But I think then sometimes there's
27:24
Speaker 1: still that seat inside of you that's like where is
27:28
Speaker 1: the physical world protection? You know, especially for women, Like
27:32
Speaker 1: that was so undeserved and it was completely unprovoked. Completely
27:38
Speaker 1: I hadn't even seen this man. So it's not like
27:40
Speaker 1: I cut him off first and then he got me
27:42
Speaker 1: back or no, Like I was just like enjoying my
27:45
Speaker 1: morning singing in the car um and he went out
27:48
Speaker 1: of his way to find me and thrust that experience
27:52
Speaker 1: onto me and then go on about his life. And
27:54
Speaker 1: so I think for us, um, if you're in the
27:58
Speaker 1: bipop community, but especially if you're just a woman, it's
28:00
Speaker 1: like really noticing how often do we experience that, even
28:05
Speaker 1: if it's not racially motivated, or if it's not a
28:07
Speaker 1: road rage incident, but how often do we experience that
28:10
Speaker 1: of people coming in and trying to unload toxic shit
28:16
Speaker 1: on you and then you just having to find a
28:19
Speaker 1: way to keep going anyway and finding a way to
28:22
Speaker 1: thrive anyway. Yeah, and I think you know, we can't
28:28
Speaker 1: lose sight of you know, um, the embodiment of the
28:32
Speaker 1: black woman, you know, in that dynamic, right, And so
28:36
Speaker 1: there there is a provocation. The provocation is um, the
28:40
Speaker 1: embodiment of you illuminating you know, as you do wherever
28:45
Speaker 1: you step foot and embodying your joy, you know, coming
28:49
Speaker 1: into spaces that UM are affirming and that you've manifested
28:54
Speaker 1: and all of that you carry with you and and
28:56
Speaker 1: and people can see as they see you, right and
28:59
Speaker 1: as a wet right, that two individuals that embody white fragility. Um.
29:06
Speaker 1: And so that's the provocation. It's not that you necessarily
29:09
Speaker 1: provoked yourself, but the provocation is the embodiment of black joy.
29:13
Speaker 1: Your existence provokes, right, You're you're unfiltered, you know, just
29:20
Speaker 1: illuminating existence is a provocation to those who wish you
29:25
Speaker 1: to stay in a in a position of embody and
29:28
Speaker 1: oppression within yourself, right. And so it's an unfortunate circumstance
29:34
Speaker 1: of the world that we live in, and it is
29:38
Speaker 1: what then drives the type of behavior that is the
29:42
Speaker 1: embodiment of white terror upon black and indigenous bodies, right
29:47
Speaker 1: and minds and spirits and um, all the multiple dimensions
29:52
Speaker 1: of you that have you know, captured this terror. Right.
29:57
Speaker 1: And so when you're speaking and you know, I just
30:02
Speaker 1: I feel in terms of what you were talking about
30:05
Speaker 1: and feeling in your heart, there is the fear that
30:10
Speaker 1: is intentional, right, that that person intended to impose fear
30:14
Speaker 1: upon you so that they can dull your light and
30:17
Speaker 1: dull your joy because it's way too threatening for them
30:21
Speaker 1: to see, to experience to know it exists. And so um,
30:27
Speaker 1: you know, it's uh something that deserves the opportunity to
30:37
Speaker 1: be brought to light. And and so I'm just so
30:40
Speaker 1: incredibly proud of you for just utilizing a community based
30:45
Speaker 1: platform to say this happened, right, because a part of
30:50
Speaker 1: what we've also been socialized to believe is that we
30:53
Speaker 1: have to keep it to ourselves, wallow it up and
30:58
Speaker 1: just not make it public, not announcement, so that people
31:03
Speaker 1: can not only understand this is existing in our world,
31:06
Speaker 1: this is happening, and um, I could use community, love
31:12
Speaker 1: and help around it, right like, And you're allowing for
31:16
Speaker 1: those things to take place, You're allowing for the opportunity
31:20
Speaker 1: for people to know this is still a thing. The
31:24
Speaker 1: elections have passed and we still have a ton of
31:28
Speaker 1: work to do, right and I now have to embody
31:32
Speaker 1: traumatic experience because our fragility is at in within our generation,
31:38
Speaker 1: at an all time high. Um yeah, yeah, fortunate. It's unfortunate.
31:44
Speaker 1: And I think too, it's like noticing my physical response
31:47
Speaker 1: to that also in you know, in real time, trying
31:51
Speaker 1: to dissolve what that brought forward because even though in
31:55
Speaker 1: that moment, I did feel very protected by God, like
31:57
Speaker 1: I feel I feel very safe in my being for
32:01
Speaker 1: the most part, And you know, it was striking to
32:06
Speaker 1: me how I thought I could respond in that situation.
32:09
Speaker 1: But then also understanding I'm not getting out of the car,
32:12
Speaker 1: I'm not fighting a man in the street. Let me
32:16
Speaker 1: make sure he can't get in my car, and I'm
32:18
Speaker 1: trying to you know, lock my doors. And then I noticed,
32:21
Speaker 1: like I'm shaking, like my whole body was shaking, my
32:24
Speaker 1: hands were shaking, and then a piece of me really
32:28
Speaker 1: really did not like that, because I felt like, I
32:30
Speaker 1: don't want you to see me shake. You want me
32:33
Speaker 1: to shake, You want me to feel like I'm less
32:36
Speaker 1: than you, you want me to feel um, victimized. And
32:43
Speaker 1: so then it's like that kind of wrestle with your
32:45
Speaker 1: own body and your own spirit of how you want
32:48
Speaker 1: to present, but then also what's like a physiological response
32:53
Speaker 1: and then trying not to take that on to mean
32:55
Speaker 1: anything about me, you know. So it's just the layering
32:59
Speaker 1: when you're when you're in situations like that, those fight
33:02
Speaker 1: or flight situations. And I think so much of this.
33:05
Speaker 1: You had said something that really resonated, um. You know,
33:10
Speaker 1: I think we experience this not just in these really pathetic,
33:16
Speaker 1: um racially motivated situations like I experienced today, but something
33:22
Speaker 1: you spoke to someone trying to take your radiance, someone
33:27
Speaker 1: trying to take your joy, right, Like sometimes that happens
33:31
Speaker 1: in our own families, Sometimes that happens in our friendships,
33:34
Speaker 1: it happens at work so often, you know, and it's
33:37
Speaker 1: like noticing when someone does that and how that actually
33:41
Speaker 1: makes you feel about yourself and then if you don't
33:44
Speaker 1: let it go in the moment, if you don't actually
33:47
Speaker 1: allow yourself the process to work through it or to
33:50
Speaker 1: sit with it, and you just try to plow through,
33:53
Speaker 1: how you can unknowingly carry that as like microscopic shame
33:58
Speaker 1: with you or microscopic you know, worthlessness with you into
34:03
Speaker 1: other areas. Um, I don't know that's what's coming forward
34:07
Speaker 1: to me. How does that sound to you? Well, it all,
34:10
Speaker 1: it all sounds like you know, I think we have
34:13
Speaker 1: to think about also the embodiment of a trauma response, right.
34:15
Speaker 1: Like you know, even even though granted is incredibly commendable,
34:22
Speaker 1: um that you know, you were able to transition into
34:25
Speaker 1: your day and not allow this person to steal um
34:28
Speaker 1: any more moments from you? Right, there are ways in
34:34
Speaker 1: which this sharp transition into Okay, I gotta put my
34:39
Speaker 1: you know, podcaster interview hat on. You know, this happened,
34:43
Speaker 1: It happened outside. I'm now inside a building, and now
34:46
Speaker 1: I have to like switch right like that, that in
34:50
Speaker 1: and of itself is a response that falls into the
34:54
Speaker 1: umbrella of trauma response, right. And so when we are
34:57
Speaker 1: able to take a step back and um process and
35:02
Speaker 1: in many of the ways that you have been doing
35:05
Speaker 1: right in these moments after the fact, process how your
35:10
Speaker 1: emotional world has captured the experience, how you're body is
35:16
Speaker 1: capturing um, pockets of tension, and the ways that your
35:21
Speaker 1: spirit is holding up right like, all of these things
35:26
Speaker 1: are part of how we give ourselves grace and allow
35:28
Speaker 1: ourselves an opportunity to process fully what that was like
35:33
Speaker 1: and how it tapped into all of the dimensions of
35:35
Speaker 1: who we are and allow ourselves a sacred pause and
35:39
Speaker 1: an opportunity to just be with that information and breathe
35:44
Speaker 1: into it and find a gentle moment, you know, to
35:48
Speaker 1: to offer ourselves that counters that very aggressive moment that
35:53
Speaker 1: you know you have to experience, and that happens in
35:56
Speaker 1: all facets of life with all individuals that you know,
35:58
Speaker 1: create some sort of a heightened level of discovered or
36:01
Speaker 1: distress within our lives. To be able to take sacred
36:04
Speaker 1: pause and then just like process within it is something
36:07
Speaker 1: that is incredibly powerful and actually happens to be within
36:11
Speaker 1: our control. What happened was outside of your control. But
36:15
Speaker 1: a way that we self empower is by bringing um
36:18
Speaker 1: into our sacred space, and so that sacred pause space
36:21
Speaker 1: the opportunity to engage in things that are within our
36:25
Speaker 1: control to to give ourselves, um an opportunity to to
36:30
Speaker 1: be gentle and tender and light, you know. Um. And
36:35
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry that you're talking about fight or
36:37
Speaker 1: flight because that's exactly where my mind went. Even as
36:39
Speaker 1: you said, like this was me back in the day,
36:41
Speaker 1: I can totally relate. But like, yes, absolutely, I remember
36:47
Speaker 1: in college I used to UM, I used to always
36:50
Speaker 1: I felt like I came from North New Jersey, right,
36:52
Speaker 1: and I'm probably of you know, this town that I
36:56
Speaker 1: love so dearly. And I remember, you know, going into
36:59
Speaker 1: college then it was a very foreign space and there
37:01
Speaker 1: weren't a lot of people from Nork, right, And I
37:03
Speaker 1: just like I felt like I had to stand my
37:05
Speaker 1: ground in the same ways that we used to in Norc. Right,
37:08
Speaker 1: and and say I'm from Nork and then you know,
37:10
Speaker 1: kind of bring out the quote unquote Norc and me yeah,
37:15
Speaker 1: and just let people know what I was about, so
37:18
Speaker 1: nobody will step up to me, right, you know. And
37:20
Speaker 1: and there was this like embodiment of you know, this
37:23
Speaker 1: person that always needed to be in fight mode. Right.
37:26
Speaker 1: The flight was actually foreign to me, um. The withdrawal peace,
37:31
Speaker 1: the you know, going into myself and and and not
37:36
Speaker 1: being able to engage the environment was a little less
37:39
Speaker 1: um of my thing than actually enacting and initiating the
37:44
Speaker 1: fight mode in the fight or flights. So that was
37:46
Speaker 1: more of my default. So I can totally relate to
37:48
Speaker 1: you in in that way and and in how physiologically
37:52
Speaker 1: that presents itself to us. I remember back back in college,
37:55
Speaker 1: I used to, you know, whenever I would engage in
37:58
Speaker 1: in moments like this, I would be trembling to write, I,
38:03
Speaker 1: you know, that is the physiological response of our body
38:06
Speaker 1: saying hey, by the way, Debbie Marriel, I'm shutting down
38:11
Speaker 1: a little bit here because I can sense that there's
38:14
Speaker 1: a threat, there's an imminent threat, and I I'm in
38:18
Speaker 1: the process of shutting down all essential bodily functions that
38:22
Speaker 1: are non essential body functions, right so that I can
38:24
Speaker 1: actually give you enough energy to fight off this threat.
38:29
Speaker 1: And so our bodies start to tremble, to sweat, to
38:33
Speaker 1: you know, like all of these like hormonal productions of
38:37
Speaker 1: you know, what is happening in our bodies as it's
38:39
Speaker 1: getting ready and prepared to fight off the threat is
38:42
Speaker 1: a very natural response. So I'm so so glad to
38:46
Speaker 1: hear that. You're not saying I'm not internalizing that as
38:49
Speaker 1: a part of me that I should be ashamed of.
38:51
Speaker 1: I'm internalizing that as a human reaction, like the human
38:55
Speaker 1: hormonal reaction that is there to protect me. Yeah, and
39:00
Speaker 1: I think you know that is really the core what
39:03
Speaker 1: you're speaking to, I feel is the core of so
39:05
Speaker 1: much of the self work we do is taking a moment,
39:10
Speaker 1: as we experience things to say, this doesn't have to
39:14
Speaker 1: mean something about me. I don't have to take this
39:17
Speaker 1: on as a judgment of myself. The experience that I
39:21
Speaker 1: just had right like this man literally was, you know, saying,
39:27
Speaker 1: stupid b suck my d You know, he wanted he
39:32
Speaker 1: hoped I died, like all of these things, and it's
39:34
Speaker 1: like he wanted me to feel less than him because
39:40
Speaker 1: of how he feels about himself and how he sees
39:43
Speaker 1: the world. M But I can allow myself to give
39:48
Speaker 1: myself the dignity of my experience, so share it. I'm
39:51
Speaker 1: stating what happened to me. I'm stating that I really
39:53
Speaker 1: didn't like it. I was scared. It made me feel
39:57
Speaker 1: really infringed upon, It made me feel un safe. But
40:01
Speaker 1: what I won't take on is the feeling of what
40:03
Speaker 1: he was really trying to do is is invalidate my
40:06
Speaker 1: being and make me feel small and make me feel,
40:10
Speaker 1: you know, terrified to be myself in the world. And
40:14
Speaker 1: if I did, that would then change the way I
40:18
Speaker 1: am in the world. It would dim my light in
40:20
Speaker 1: a certain way. I would perhaps be a little more subdued,
40:24
Speaker 1: fearful that if I allowed myself to be joyful, someone
40:27
Speaker 1: would want to hurt me or harm me, you know. Um,
40:31
Speaker 1: So I think that's just interesting to observe and for
40:34
Speaker 1: anybody listening that this is you know, resonating with on
40:37
Speaker 1: any level, take a moment to apply, like really the
40:42
Speaker 1: depth of what Dr Mariel is sharing to maybe pass
40:46
Speaker 1: situations in your life where you might have experienced this
40:50
Speaker 1: feeling And it doesn't have to be because of an
40:52
Speaker 1: attack or racially motivated, but maybe with your parents, or
40:55
Speaker 1: maybe something at school happened, or you know, getting into
40:59
Speaker 1: fights at or something at work. But just observe it
41:02
Speaker 1: and maybe replay it through this lens and see if
41:05
Speaker 1: there's an opportunity to dissolve there. Yeah. Absolutely, and and
41:09
Speaker 1: um it's a wonderful message to be able to relay,
41:12
Speaker 1: you know, to the masses, because it doesn't um necessarily
41:16
Speaker 1: have to be the experience of white terror and white
41:20
Speaker 1: terrorism UM to to bring us to a point of
41:24
Speaker 1: reflection of what is yours and what is mine? Right?
41:27
Speaker 1: What is it that you are projecting onto me and
41:31
Speaker 1: are hoping that I embody on your behalf because it
41:34
Speaker 1: is entirely too terrifying for you to acknowledge about yourself.
41:39
Speaker 1: And and if we can cast aside whatever is um
41:44
Speaker 1: trying to be imposed upon our spirit by way of
41:47
Speaker 1: the person that is the perpetrator, the aggressor, or even
41:51
Speaker 1: the systems that are perpetrators and aggressives upon black and
41:54
Speaker 1: the generus people of colors lives, then you know we
41:57
Speaker 1: can embody more of that emotional and holistic freedom right,
42:03
Speaker 1: the freedom of being as we are and who we are,
42:07
Speaker 1: without the socialization of white terror, which has been very
42:14
Speaker 1: much a part of the experience that we've had for
42:17
Speaker 1: centuries upon centuries, right, Um, we have had the experience
42:21
Speaker 1: of having white terror tell us who we are and
42:27
Speaker 1: UM create the kind of circumstance where we've had to
42:31
Speaker 1: swallow those words and even internalize it. That's why internalized
42:35
Speaker 1: racism makes sense, right, Like a lot of us have. UM,
42:38
Speaker 1: we're carrying that weight of that experience because we have
42:42
Speaker 1: been terrorized to such an extent that the other option
42:47
Speaker 1: that we have for the sake of survival is internalizing
42:50
Speaker 1: these ideas about ourselves in the world that feel protective
42:53
Speaker 1: but are quite the opposite. Something that you say in
42:58
Speaker 1: your work is that historical pain requires multidimensional healing. What
43:03
Speaker 1: are those dimensions? How are they characterized? Ah? I love
43:09
Speaker 1: talking about that's heavy, and it's what I understand that
43:15
Speaker 1: you know, the heavy pieces we have the unpack as well,
43:18
Speaker 1: and they are so valid and I'm just so honored
43:21
Speaker 1: that you know you you have chosen me to discuss
43:25
Speaker 1: this with Thank you for that, UM, and I know
43:27
Speaker 1: that you and I you know, definitely resonate with UH.
43:31
Speaker 1: The embodiment of the mind, body, Spirit I call a
43:34
Speaker 1: soul work because I really do believe that within our
43:36
Speaker 1: souls we we embodied these three dimensions of the mind, body,
43:40
Speaker 1: and the spirit, and that the three are intertwined and
43:43
Speaker 1: interwoven into each other in a way that cannot be extracted. Right,
43:47
Speaker 1: we can't attend to one to the detriment of another
43:52
Speaker 1: and and allow our lives to be in a state
43:54
Speaker 1: of unbalanced, right, because we're actually hyper focusing on only
43:59
Speaker 1: one mentioned of who we are. So really, the mind,
44:02
Speaker 1: the body, and the spirit are those three dimensions that
44:04
Speaker 1: I speak to in my work and um, and I
44:07
Speaker 1: love to speak to each of them, and I love
44:09
Speaker 1: to speak to all of them, right like as a
44:11
Speaker 1: as a global whole, um, so that we can remember that,
44:15
Speaker 1: especially from the perspective of a therapist, which I think
44:18
Speaker 1: is something that is fairly uncommon um the people perhaps
44:22
Speaker 1: aren't accustomed to because we're like, we're mind people, right,
44:25
Speaker 1: we focused on our minds. But as Angela Davis are
44:30
Speaker 1: living ancestors, has said, you know, we have to liberate
44:34
Speaker 1: our minds as well as liberate society, right, And so
44:36
Speaker 1: I believe in the liberation of us as a people,
44:41
Speaker 1: which means that we have deliberate the ways in which
44:44
Speaker 1: our bodies have been um depositories for stress and anguish
44:49
Speaker 1: and terror, and the same for our spirits. Yeah yeah,
44:53
Speaker 1: that yeah, to embody, that integration of all three, you know,
44:59
Speaker 1: it's I think it's so when we when we are
45:04
Speaker 1: kind of in this space right now in the world,
45:06
Speaker 1: like mental health conversations are really at the forefront for
45:10
Speaker 1: the first time in human history. Uh, and well being
45:13
Speaker 1: conversations for all is at the forefront and for the
45:17
Speaker 1: first time in human history. But sometimes it feels like
45:21
Speaker 1: people on in both of those worlds are acting like
45:24
Speaker 1: there's only one road to healing, right, Like, no, just
45:27
Speaker 1: go to therapy, like that's what you need. You need
45:29
Speaker 1: to understand the root of what's going on with you,
45:32
Speaker 1: and or it's like just bees in and just let
45:36
Speaker 1: go and just release and move forward. But I found
45:39
Speaker 1: in my own healing journey that true remembrance of your wholeness,
45:45
Speaker 1: truly standing in your authentic power, and feeling a love
45:50
Speaker 1: for yourself that is so strong that it radiates from
45:55
Speaker 1: your pores and your being. It requires the integration of
46:00
Speaker 1: all three. And so can you speak to perhaps you know,
46:04
Speaker 1: as people are doing the work really not just intellectualizing it.
46:09
Speaker 1: Understanding it is important. Understanding why we do the things
46:12
Speaker 1: that we do is important. But how do we usher
46:15
Speaker 1: in that integration? How do we include our bodies and
46:19
Speaker 1: our souls in the healing work that we're doing, dismantling
46:23
Speaker 1: in our minds? M hmm, yeah, you know it's it's
46:28
Speaker 1: really and it takes me back, you know, to our
46:31
Speaker 1: conversation on rituals. Right. You know, it's an embodiment of
46:35
Speaker 1: the multiple ways in which we can attend to and
46:39
Speaker 1: honor each of these dimensions of who we are. Um
46:43
Speaker 1: and it it means that we honor by way of action. Right,
46:47
Speaker 1: we honor by eliciting action that is healing and profound
46:52
Speaker 1: in each of these areas. That the healing of the
46:55
Speaker 1: mind isn't just a healing that happens through the process
47:00
Speaker 1: as a therapy, if therapy is indeed accessible to a person,
47:04
Speaker 1: but that it it also means that we experienced liberation
47:08
Speaker 1: by way of cultural consciousness and the understanding of who
47:14
Speaker 1: we are as people and our historical knowledge of ourselves,
47:18
Speaker 1: and that that is also a part of the ways
47:21
Speaker 1: in which the mind becomes liberated. Right. Um, it's about
47:27
Speaker 1: Marley's words, emancipate yourself from mental slavery, right, Like it
47:30
Speaker 1: really it needs to take on that form as well.
47:34
Speaker 1: And healing practices of the mind or wide and varied right,
47:38
Speaker 1: and therapy is obviously a very popular one, especially in
47:41
Speaker 1: these days. I gotta say I'm really excited about that because,
47:44
Speaker 1: like I came into this work like going on nine
47:47
Speaker 1: years and I had no idea. We were like in
47:50
Speaker 1: in the Shadows, we were these people that nobody wanted
47:52
Speaker 1: to deal with, they could needed to. You were like
47:56
Speaker 1: everybody's side check a secret, No, no, I don't do
47:59
Speaker 1: that right right, And to like, you know, to be
48:04
Speaker 1: in this this moment in time, it's just fascinating and
48:08
Speaker 1: it makes me so happy that our people are saying, hey,
48:12
Speaker 1: I'm doing this for myself and it matters, and I matter,
48:16
Speaker 1: and you know, my therapeutic journey matters, and let me
48:19
Speaker 1: tell you about it. Like it's just so it illuminates
48:23
Speaker 1: my life whenever I get to see that, which is
48:25
Speaker 1: very often, and I, um, how do you think that
48:28
Speaker 1: that that shift and our collective consciousness happened just in
48:32
Speaker 1: the last couple of years. How do you think we
48:34
Speaker 1: came into this space for so many were therapy is
48:37
Speaker 1: now this tool of empowerment that you're actually excited to
48:41
Speaker 1: tell people about. Like my girlfriends will text me and
48:43
Speaker 1: they'll be like, guess what I learned in therapy today,
48:45
Speaker 1: you know, And then like even five years ago, that
48:48
Speaker 1: wasn't happening in this kind of a way. I think
48:52
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's in part I have to give
48:56
Speaker 1: credit to the people. The people are deciding this is
48:59
Speaker 1: a moments in time when we're going to proclaim healing right.
49:03
Speaker 1: And I fondly believe that this is the frame of
49:07
Speaker 1: mind that this generation has taken up, and we have
49:11
Speaker 1: to give credit, you know, to the people themselves. However,
49:14
Speaker 1: I do believe that there are, albeit very small movements,
49:20
Speaker 1: but movements in the direction of dismantling some of the
49:23
Speaker 1: barriers that exist. And when we're talking about this menting,
49:28
Speaker 1: I think it's important to know, you know, that we
49:32
Speaker 1: are in the mental health arena, educating about the actual
49:39
Speaker 1: experience around stigma and us being able to have that
49:44
Speaker 1: broader conversation of Hay Stigma exists, and this is how
49:47
Speaker 1: it exists within our communities as allowed for a point
49:52
Speaker 1: of self reflection within this generation where people are like,
49:56
Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's a thing like stigma has kept me
49:59
Speaker 1: from being able to solicit therapy. And when we talk
50:03
Speaker 1: about the barriers that are financial, people can say, oh yeah,
50:07
Speaker 1: these financial barriers have got to go right. And I
50:10
Speaker 1: think that these micro conversations around the barriers themselves as
50:13
Speaker 1: well have contributed to the larger conversation of I want
50:17
Speaker 1: this for myself. I deserve therapy, and I want to
50:21
Speaker 1: have a conversation around how therapy can actually be brought
50:24
Speaker 1: upon my life. And then once a person gets into
50:27
Speaker 1: it and they can actually experience with therapy is able
50:30
Speaker 1: to offer. You know, there is an added motivation that
50:35
Speaker 1: people are experiencing around speaking to therapy UM. And also
50:40
Speaker 1: you know, like there's pre farm between a therapist that
50:43
Speaker 1: identifies black UM. However, I think we are very motivated
50:50
Speaker 1: to also bring to the for this conversation within our communities,
50:54
Speaker 1: like we are abandoning these like old scripts that why
50:58
Speaker 1: ideology has imposed upon the mental health world that has
51:01
Speaker 1: said like you know, this is something that is secretive,
51:03
Speaker 1: and we're saying no, our communities need to talk about this,
51:06
Speaker 1: and we're talking about this. And these conversations have I
51:10
Speaker 1: think a very large impact and I'm grateful for them. Yeah. Yeah,
51:16
Speaker 1: And you know the thing that I really love so
51:18
Speaker 1: much about it is it returns our power to us,
51:23
Speaker 1: Like being able to speak our truth freely allows us
51:26
Speaker 1: to grow. And anytime we're trying to keep any secrets,
51:31
Speaker 1: any secrets, there is going to be this natural minimization
51:35
Speaker 1: of self that happens. So if we were in therapy
51:38
Speaker 1: but we weren't sharing, you know, some of our breakthroughs.
51:41
Speaker 1: And you don't have to do it on the Graham, right,
51:43
Speaker 1: but even just with people, even just broadening our conversation,
51:47
Speaker 1: it's like to do that helps you build your spiritual confidence.
51:50
Speaker 1: It helps you practice being this new version of you
51:54
Speaker 1: that you're becoming. And so you really limit your growth
51:58
Speaker 1: when you're not kind of when you're already in your lessons,
52:01
Speaker 1: or you're not just kind of really sharing yourself, or
52:04
Speaker 1: you're in fear of what will people think if you know.
52:07
Speaker 1: That is the biggest sadness to me about when you're
52:12
Speaker 1: stuck in that position of comparativeness or wanting to conceal self,
52:18
Speaker 1: you just limit and slow your growth so much, so
52:22
Speaker 1: so much, and it's actually antithetical to who we are
52:27
Speaker 1: as people, right, Like we are people that we have
52:30
Speaker 1: like this enormous grapevine, right that that flows through our
52:34
Speaker 1: communities where information just kind of um flows through about
52:39
Speaker 1: the experiences that we've had what has helped And this
52:42
Speaker 1: has been the case for as long as we've existed
52:45
Speaker 1: on this planet, right, Like we have had this communal
52:49
Speaker 1: informational like super highway. You know, if you're made to
52:53
Speaker 1: use kind of like more um, more modern dating terms.
52:56
Speaker 1: But these have been the ways in which people have
53:00
Speaker 1: shared thoughts, ideas dealing practices, and there hasn't been a
53:06
Speaker 1: secrecy around it, right, There's been a secrecy in modern
53:09
Speaker 1: day world that we have imposed upon healing mechanisms and
53:14
Speaker 1: especially indigenous healing practices. And we are deciding as people like,
53:19
Speaker 1: this is not something that we want to continue to
53:22
Speaker 1: embody because this is this is a colonized framework of being, um,
53:28
Speaker 1: you know, of existing as a heal itself. The decolonized
53:31
Speaker 1: framework is I share that with my cousin, my grandmother,
53:35
Speaker 1: my this, my that right, and everybody knows about you know,
53:38
Speaker 1: what has worked, and we do that with everything. My parents,
53:42
Speaker 1: you know, they for as long as I've lived, they've
53:45
Speaker 1: had all these teas that they vote this tis for
53:48
Speaker 1: this and this ts for that. You've got gastro issues,
53:50
Speaker 1: always got you right, And so there's always been like
53:54
Speaker 1: a way that they have imparted knowledge upon me, and
53:57
Speaker 1: stral knowledge is saying that we have the tools we
54:00
Speaker 1: don't you don't need to know necessarily always go to
54:04
Speaker 1: you know, an MDI medical professional in order to actually
54:08
Speaker 1: heal you know, parts of you. We have these indigenous practices,
54:12
Speaker 1: indigenous wisdom that we want to impose upon you. And
54:15
Speaker 1: it hasn't been until now in my you know, early
54:18
Speaker 1: to latter thirties, that I've actually experienced such an immense
54:24
Speaker 1: gratitude for what they've given me in her life that
54:27
Speaker 1: I didn't even know how to all these roots right,
54:30
Speaker 1: And so this is the way that we communicate. We say, hey,
54:33
Speaker 1: I know something that can help. Here's the shaman, here's
54:37
Speaker 1: the good endtle. You know, like there's so many healers
54:40
Speaker 1: in our communities, and we are now giving extension to
54:45
Speaker 1: therapy to also be a part of that healing community
54:47
Speaker 1: and that healing grapevine. Ah yeah, yeah, I love that.
54:53
Speaker 1: Let's share our tools. Nothing is too small, you know,
54:58
Speaker 1: like we need all of it. We all need to
55:01
Speaker 1: be sharing our tools in each moment. Dr Mary All,
55:06
Speaker 1: I would love to ask you so we at the
55:10
Speaker 1: end of the show, I like to give a little
55:12
Speaker 1: soul work for everyone listening, something to take them into
55:15
Speaker 1: their week. It can either be a thought, it can
55:17
Speaker 1: be a journal prompt, it can be an activity. But
55:20
Speaker 1: I would love to extend to you that the professorship
55:27
Speaker 1: of this today, Um, what is something that the audience
55:31
Speaker 1: can work on this week. What is the thought they
55:34
Speaker 1: can have or something that they can do for their
55:36
Speaker 1: soul homework? M hm, yes, I love the question, and
55:42
Speaker 1: you know, perhaps, um what what actually like came to
55:46
Speaker 1: mind right away was the extension of a question that
55:49
Speaker 1: I asked my social media community, which is and remember
55:54
Speaker 1: thinking about the fact that within the soul we hold
55:57
Speaker 1: the mind, the body, and the spirit. So it's a
55:59
Speaker 1: very multidimensional question that I'm about to ask, but be
56:04
Speaker 1: asking whether in a journal prompt that you'd like to write,
56:08
Speaker 1: or if you'd like to just sit and meditate all
56:12
Speaker 1: these words, I'd love to ask, how's your soul? And
56:17
Speaker 1: if you could even commit to asking yourself bad for
56:22
Speaker 1: the next seven days, checking in with your mind, with
56:26
Speaker 1: your body, and with your spirit to see how you're
56:29
Speaker 1: doing as a whole human being, I think it it
56:33
Speaker 1: can really shift the perspective of how you start embodying
56:37
Speaker 1: wellness within yourself and self love. So that's my little nugget,
56:44
Speaker 1: how is your soul feeling? I love that, and we're
56:48
Speaker 1: going to put all of your information, of course within
56:50
Speaker 1: the episode. But for people listening right now, how can
56:52
Speaker 1: they connect to your soul Healing Collective and how can
56:56
Speaker 1: they connect to your beautiful work? M hmm, thank you.
57:00
Speaker 1: I Um, I'm on Instagram at at Dr Marriel Bouquet
57:07
Speaker 1: and be so Healing Collective UM can be found right
57:13
Speaker 1: on my website Dr mariel Bouquet dot com and I
57:17
Speaker 1: look forward to seeing people there were doing really great
57:20
Speaker 1: healing work and community and it just fills my soul,
57:23
Speaker 1: you know, to be able to be with other souls
57:26
Speaker 1: that are so intentional about healing work. Mm hmm. Thank
57:30
Speaker 1: you so much for your time today. I just I
57:33
Speaker 1: enjoy speaking to you so mentally. You have such a
57:37
Speaker 1: radiance UM, and your depth of knowledge is just so delicious.
57:41
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for gifting me with your
57:44
Speaker 1: time to be on this show. My song is delicious.
57:49
Speaker 1: I love it that you are giving me all kinds,
57:53
Speaker 1: all kinds of new language to you towards my work.
57:55
Speaker 1: I love it. It is such an honor to be
57:58
Speaker 1: with you, you know, and everything that we've discussed, you know,
58:02
Speaker 1: from the grief to the joy, and you know, I
58:05
Speaker 1: love spendy time with you. So thank you for giving
58:07
Speaker 1: me a pocket of your time to do that, and
58:10
Speaker 1: thank you for holding space for me so beautifully. Thank
58:13
Speaker 1: you that. I think that that was not only was
58:15
Speaker 1: it healing for me, but I think it's such a
58:17
Speaker 1: beautiful example for people that are having questions around how
58:21
Speaker 1: can I show up for others? I think that was um.
58:24
Speaker 1: I think it really gave each of us, uh listening
58:28
Speaker 1: and here a beautiful experience. Thank you. Hey find me
58:35
Speaker 1: on social Let's connect at deVie Brown. That's Twitter and Instagram,
58:39
Speaker 1: or go to my website Debbie Brown dot com. And
58:43
Speaker 1: if you're listening to the show on Apple podcasts, please
58:46
Speaker 1: please please don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe and
58:53
Speaker 1: send this episode to a friend. Dropping Jims is the
58:56
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and Black Effect Network. It's
58:59
Speaker 1: produced by Triple and Me Debbie Brown. For more podcasts
59:03
Speaker 1: from My heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,
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Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.