Latest / Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel / Teal Swan: Cult Leader or Spiritual Healer?

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Teal Swan: Cult Leader or Spiritual Healer? · Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel

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  Speaker 1: real conversations in a new language today. Welcome back to Misunderstood,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I'm Rachel Yucatel. Okay, guys, I have a really good
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  Speaker 1: one for you today. Teal Swan, do you know her name?
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  Speaker 1: Many people obviously do because she has millions of followers
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  Speaker 1: and must travel with a security team for her own safety.
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  Speaker 1: On her Wikipedia, it says she is a spiritual influencer
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  Speaker 1: and author known for her teachings on self-help, personal development,
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  Speaker 1: and spirituality. It also says her deepest intention is to
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  Speaker 1: set people free. Her mission is to make people aware
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  Speaker 1: and conscious. So with that awareness, they can heal and
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  Speaker 1: live deep, meaningful lives. But she has no professional credentials, education,
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  Speaker 1: or certifications. She has many skeptics at this point and
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  Speaker 1: a four-part docuseries was even done about her called The
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Deep End, which definitely exacerbated her controversial narrative. I watched
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: it and I can tell you that after seeing it,
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  Speaker 1: I did have a lot of questions and I was
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  Speaker 1: a little bit intimidated to have her on my show. Well,
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  Speaker 1: Teal is here today and I get to ask her everything.
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  Speaker 1: I'm curious about your opinion of her after you hear
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  Speaker 1: her story in her own words. I didn't know what
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  Speaker 1: to expect, but I was really impressed by her candid
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  Speaker 1: responses and her openness. I think you're going to have
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  Speaker 1: feelings about this episode either way. And I do want
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  Speaker 1: to hear them. Please leave a review after you listen
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: to this episode or after you watch it. And feel
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: free to message me on my Instagram if you feel
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: more comfortable. But if you like the show, please subscribe
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: and leave a five-star rating. It means so much to me.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate all of you guys. all of your support.
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  Speaker 1: So anyways, buckle up for my next guest, Teal Swamp. Teal,
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  Speaker 1: it's so exciting to have you here on Misunderstood. How
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  Speaker 1: are you?
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  Speaker 2: I am doing fabulous. How are you?
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  Speaker 1: I'm good, thank you. So I wanted to start by
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  Speaker 1: asking you, how did you come up with the name
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  Speaker 1: Teal Swan? I mean, I know you were born Mary
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  Speaker 1: Teal Bosworth, which is something you don't really look like.
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  Speaker 1: So you have this ethereal name. How did you get it?
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  Speaker 2: So it's ironic that my name was legally when I
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  Speaker 2: was born Mary Teal because I didn't even know that
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  Speaker 2: I had a first name until I was like 12.
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  Speaker 2: My parents always called me Teal. So Teal was always
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  Speaker 2: my name. And it's like this weird thing in the
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  Speaker 2: 80s that some people did where they just called you
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  Speaker 2: by your middle name, right? So that was my name originally.
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  Speaker 2: And then I married a Punjabi Sikh man whose last
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  Speaker 2: name was Swan. So it's real funny because people think
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  Speaker 2: that my name is like this made-up mystical name, but
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  Speaker 2: it's actually a totally... you know, universally orchestrated name, you
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  Speaker 2: could say. Right.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, wow. Well, it's beautiful. So, you know, in thinking
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  Speaker 1: of how to sort of talk to you, I wanted to,
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  Speaker 1: instead of me discussing what you do, I really wanted
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  Speaker 1: to get an idea from you on how to describe
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  Speaker 1: what it is that you do, because there are so
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  Speaker 1: many names for what you do, you know, healer, artist,
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  Speaker 1: spiritual leader, catalyst, influencer, you can go on and on
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  Speaker 1: and on. So it's better to just ask you, how
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  Speaker 1: would you describe you and what you do?
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  Speaker 2: I would describe myself as a new thought leader. I
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  Speaker 2: am here to change humanity's mind, specifically in the direction
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  Speaker 2: of what alleviates suffering. I see myself as an expert
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  Speaker 2: in human suffering, first and foremost. So I want to
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  Speaker 2: answer to the things that people are struggling with. And
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: you can do that in a myriad of different ways,
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  Speaker 2: whether it's creating one of these frequency paintings behind here,
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  Speaker 2: or whether it's releasing a video about some kind of
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: a relationship pattern, or whether it's hosting an event. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: there's so many different ways to approach the struggles that
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  Speaker 2: people are facing. So that's why it's like I'm a
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  Speaker 2: jack of all trades.
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  Speaker 1: Did you grow up spiritual?
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  Speaker 2: That's a kind of hard question to answer because I
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  Speaker 2: always had spiritual abilities and I could never really plug
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  Speaker 2: into this physical time-space reality the way that other people can.
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  Speaker 2: So I was born this profoundly spiritual being, but into
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  Speaker 2: a family which was not spiritual at My family was
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  Speaker 2: comprised of real scientific people, like highly educated scientific environmental people.
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  Speaker 2: And if they had a religion, it was the outdoors.
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  Speaker 1: Right. And you have always talked about how you were
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  Speaker 1: sort of born into this world different than other people.
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  Speaker 1: Can you explain in better terms what that would mean?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so the best way to conceptualize of this is
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  Speaker 2: to think about it like if you come down to
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  Speaker 2: this physical life, most people are able to actually plug
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  Speaker 2: into this time-space reality that we call life on Earth
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  Speaker 2: in the same way that if you were to become
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  Speaker 2: an avatar in a video game and then forget the
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  Speaker 2: you that's sitting on the chair, you are inside that
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  Speaker 2: video game and that is your reality. And the way
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  Speaker 2: to understand my dynamic is that I want you to
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  Speaker 2: imagine that when a person plugs into this video game,
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  Speaker 2: let's say, let's call it life. their ability to fully
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  Speaker 2: plug in is not there. So it's almost like the
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  Speaker 2: filters are blown. And so you're seeing an overlay of
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  Speaker 2: different dimensional realities all the time. Nor are you able
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  Speaker 2: to forget the you that's sitting on the chair. So,
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  Speaker 2: you know, a person usually goes throughout their life becoming
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  Speaker 2: aware of their nonphysical aspect. You know, the part that
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  Speaker 2: they might call their soul. And that was something that
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  Speaker 2: I never forgot and had to find again. It's like
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  Speaker 2: I came in here with full knowledge of exactly what
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  Speaker 2: I was doing here. You know, what I was here for.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, all these kinds of things.
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  Speaker 1: But how did that affect you?
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  Speaker 2: God, it's a it's a very it's like a curse.
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  Speaker 2: I'll be honest, you know, I mean, everybody's sort of
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  Speaker 2: sitting here being like, wow, that would be amazing, you know,
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  Speaker 2: to be able to see past lives and to be
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  Speaker 2: able to talk to entities that are not physically incarnated
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  Speaker 2: and to see energy fields and to be able to
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  Speaker 2: perceive things before they've even happened. And the real truth
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  Speaker 2: of it is that when you're receiving that much information,
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  Speaker 2: life is pretty terrible. I had a really hard time.
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  Speaker 1: And pretty loud, I would assume.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's overwhelming. Yeah.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: What was that like, though, as a kid? Because you
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  Speaker 1: must have been very misunderstood by your family or anyone
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  Speaker 1: you tried to verbalize this to, to see if they
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  Speaker 1: were having the same experience. I mean, what was that like?
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  Speaker 2: All children start out assuming that everybody sees and perceives
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  Speaker 2: what they see and perceive. And I was no exception.
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  Speaker 2: So I was kind of, you know, thrust into this
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  Speaker 2: world where I thought everybody was experiencing this and just
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  Speaker 2: somehow everybody's having an easier time dealing with it than
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  Speaker 2: me to realizing very quickly once I was put into
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  Speaker 2: school that this is not the reality that other people
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  Speaker 2: are living in. And I got myself in a lot
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  Speaker 2: of trouble because of it. Because it wasn't like I
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  Speaker 2: was born in the Eastern world where they have a
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  Speaker 2: real good concept of people who are like me. In
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  Speaker 2: that type of a culture, I would have been immediately
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  Speaker 2: put in with a sage and I would have been
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  Speaker 2: trained up into a position in some kind of a
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  Speaker 2: spiritual capacity. But we don't have those positions in the
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  Speaker 2: Western world. And so it's essentially labeled as mental illness. Right.
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  Speaker 2: That's what I was going to ask.
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  Speaker 1: Were your parents or people at school.
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  Speaker 1: Calling you names, trying to label you in a different way.
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. But, but it's like you either get that
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  Speaker 2: the scientific people kind of label you as mentally ill and,
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  Speaker 2: and those really religious people, they label you, which they
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  Speaker 2: did with me as, you know, demonic. So it was
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  Speaker 2: a real, yeah, I was not received well. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: I scared the crap out of people.
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  Speaker 3: Right.
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  Speaker 1: And were you scared?
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  Speaker 2: None of the stuff that I was seeing most of
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  Speaker 2: the time. It took me a while, you know, to
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  Speaker 2: deal with the projections that some people, when they die, right,
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  Speaker 2: when they're trying to connect with you, they will show
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  Speaker 2: you images of how they die, and so when you're
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  Speaker 2: quite young, you have to deal with some pretty horrific images. That,
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  Speaker 2: I remember being a real struggle. Also, it just being
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  Speaker 2: real frustrating that, like, I can see and talk to
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  Speaker 2: spirit guides, but it seems like it increases a bystander trauma,
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  Speaker 2: because even when you're going through really painful stuff... a
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  Speaker 2: lot of times they're just sort of sitting there watching
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  Speaker 2: what's happening. Like it's a show. And so you're kind
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  Speaker 2: of like, come on, throw me a bone and they're
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  Speaker 2: not doing it. And so it was more painful than
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  Speaker 2: it was a comfort to me when I was younger.
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  Speaker 1: Was there one moment that you remember from your childhood
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  Speaker 1: where you were like, I'm different. I now understand that
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  Speaker 1: I can predict something. Either you predicted somebody dying or
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  Speaker 1: I don't know what it was for you, but was
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  Speaker 1: there a moment where you were like, okay, I have
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  Speaker 1: a power, so to speak.
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  Speaker 2: I think a lot of that was around medical intuitive stuff.
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  Speaker 2: So when I was younger, I was wanting to go
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  Speaker 2: and put my hands on people and do energy healing.
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  Speaker 2: without ever being taught energy healing. And I think it
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  Speaker 2: was well-received, more well-received when I was able to tell
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: people that they had certain physical ailments and then they
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  Speaker 2: would go to the doctor, it would be confirmed. And
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  Speaker 2: so I had that sort of corroboration. And then the
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  Speaker 2: reflection I was getting off that was not as bad
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  Speaker 2: as say when, You know, when I would talk about
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  Speaker 2: somebody's dead relative wanting to say things to them.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, right. A little bit more about your childhood. You
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: had a very rough start. You've openly talked about suffering
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: abuse at the hands of someone else. And I only
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: bring that up because, you know, because I know you've
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: talked about it before, but I think it's important because
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: you've used that experience to turn it into expertise. And
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people... don't follow that concept
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: a lot. Do you know what I mean? Like they
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: don't get that about you. And in researching a ton
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: of stuff about you, I really felt that it seems,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, that it's been important for
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: you to talk about what you've been through. Number one,
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  Speaker 1: because it makes you relatable to people that have gone
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: through it. But because that's where you derive your mastery from.
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  Speaker 1: And so I do want you just to touch on
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  Speaker 1: it a little bit about what you went through. And
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  Speaker 1: then the real question is, how did you personally experience
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  Speaker 1: Find the wherewithal to get yourself out of it, to
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  Speaker 1: say I'm worthy of being someone else or I can
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  Speaker 1: get out of this.
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  Speaker 2: That's like a lot.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: To super, I don't know like how deep to go because.
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  Speaker 2: It's real intense, but because of my abilities, I essentially
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  Speaker 2: caught the radar of somebody who is in the town
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  Speaker 2: that was close to where I grew up who had
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  Speaker 2: a real interest in this kind of nonphysical stuff. And
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: he approached my parents as a mentor of sorts. And
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  Speaker 2: my parents, of course, didn't know what to do with me.
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  Speaker 2: I was this miserably unhappy, hypersensitive kid. They didn't understand
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  Speaker 2: what was going on with me. They've got these doctors
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  Speaker 2: saying I'm mentally ill. You know, these other people that
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: are like, whoa, she's got an incredible gift. They just
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: didn't know what to do. Right. So when this mentor
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: essentially came in and said, look, she loves horses. She
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: doesn't know what to do with her gifts. Trust her
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: with me, basically. I know what to do. And they
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: said yes. And the reality was quite different than what
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: he had put forth. It was really capitalizing on an
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: opportunity to set up a horribly abusive dynamic for the
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: period of 13 years. And it was horrific ritual abuse
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: and trafficking.
• 12:33
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, my childhood was a living, like a literal living nightmare,
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: like the kind of thing that belongs on CNN. Like
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: it's totally not normal in any way. Um, yeah. So
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I escaped when I was 19.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: And when you say escape, did you physically escape or
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: was it something where finally you were able to, um,
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: you know, be old enough that you can make your
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: own decisions and get, get out?
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: It's kind of both because, you know, men like had
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: me in my childhood, um, They create so much mental
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: programming that ultimately they want to be able to have
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: control over you without having to go chase you because
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: you don't really own somebody's psychology if you have to
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: go chase them in a car.
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: That being said, there's definitely a risk of some retrieval
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: like that happening. So it was a little bit of both.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: I ended up, after a really horrific experience with him
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: when I was 19, jumping into a car and driving,
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: just physically running away, driving to a place where I
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: had met a man only twice before this, but for
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: some reason I trusted him and I broke into his house, actually.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: That was the beginning of me staying away. So to
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: begin with, it was like, And there's such huge consequences
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: for running away. I don't know what I just did.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Why did I just do that? I should just go back,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: you know. And then it's like one day turns to
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: two days, turns to a week, turns to now I'm
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: in real serious trouble. If I go back, turns into
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: a month, turns into like I think I actually have
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: to go into hiding at this point.
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: And at any point, I mean, you know, you hear
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: these stories nowadays of people that are kidnapped by their
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: captors and kind of fall for them or end up
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: trusting them. Was there any bit of that with what
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: you went through when you were younger?
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: This man was my life. He convinced me that he
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: was my real father, in fact. And that, you know,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: basically there's an excuse for why I, you know, look
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: different than my parents might look because I look more
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: like he does. And you know, and, and I'm just
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: elaborate stories, but yeah, there's no way to not bond
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: with somebody who's got that much leverage over your life.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: It's impossible. It's, it's human psychology. That's unanimously what will
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: happen when a person perceives themselves to be in a
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: powerless or captive environment, you will bond to the perpetrator.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And I did that. In fact, getting to the place
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: in therapy in my early twenties to realize that maybe
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: the things that he was doing was not out of
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: love was one of the hardest things to get myself to.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I remember just fighting like with the, this ritual trauma therapist,
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: just fighting, you know, for the things that he's doing
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: or loving, because that's of course the excuse they love
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: to give, you know? Yeah.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I think people always wonder, you know,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: like somebody recent would be like an Elizabeth smart. It
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: wasn't that recent, but you know, people couldn't understand why
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: she was in broad daylight walking around with her captor.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: And when she was finally caught, she wasn't like, it's me,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: Elizabeth smart, get me out of here. It took her
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: a while. And so therefore then I think people think that,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: you know, someone is lying about their experience because, And
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I think in the absence of truth or understanding or
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: just fear being present, people really make up all sorts
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: of scenarios that are just not true.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I mean, most people don't have a thorough
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: understanding of psychology as it applies to situations like that,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: that they don't really want to accept happen in the
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: first place.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: So, so how, what point were you at where you
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: were like, okay, I can take this experience and help
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: other people. You started out with YouTube, right? Is that
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: your first place that you went to sort of give
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: some advice?
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Actually, I first started with one-on-one sessions. That was kind
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: of like me opening the door to being like, you know,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: maybe I'm going to use some of this stuff again,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: instead of turn against it. Cause Mind you, all the
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: abuse in my childhood essentially happened because of my ability,
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: so I wanted nothing to do with this at all.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: So when I turned back in the direction of, okay,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: maybe I can't run away from myself the rest of
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: my life, it was literally as simple as I'm going
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: to see people in my house occasionally on certain days
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: and just kind of tell them what it is that
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: So I think a lot of people have questions though,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: about you doing things like this, like a session or
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: being the one to speak on such topics when you
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: haven't had actual, you know, doctorates on the subject or,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: you know, you haven't gone to school for it, which again,
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I can understand that train of thought, but as I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: listened more to you and watch more of your stuff,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I realized, you know, there are people that go to
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: school for years, decades, and they have no life experience
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: about what they're teaching. So, you know, who is to
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: say who is the better teacher? Someone who's been through it,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: lived it, knows exactly what you're feeling going through and
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: knows exactly how they got themselves out. Or someone who's
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: been taught in a school and just read books and
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: studied and got, you So, you know, so you started
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: what in your early twenties, seeing people and giving them
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: advice or how did that work?
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: 26 about, yeah.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: And it, it made no difference that people, people weren't
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: asking for credentials back then, I guess.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, the point at which somebody goes to
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: the alternative route, usually everything has failed them already. Every doctor,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: every therapist, it's like, they're, they're literally in a place
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: where they're like, you know what? I, At this point,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: I don't care what kind of needles I have to
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: have put in my body, what type of alternative realities
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I have to consider. They're pretty desperate, right? No, I mean,
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I did not really run into that. It was just
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: more people would sit down and be like, what do
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: you see? And I'd tell them. And it was shocking
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: to me the amount of information that I had that
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: I take for granted, which is the case when anybody
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: has a serious gift, you know? It's just when somebody
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: is like incredible at organizing, they don't even usually consider
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: it a gift. Then they go to somebody's house who
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: has a terrible time organizing and that person's like, whoa,
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: a superpower. So I was no exception. I was telling
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: like just sideways comments about the way the universe works,
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: stuff that I took for granted to such an extreme degree.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: And they would be like, whoa, and life changing. The
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: next week it would be a shift like you couldn't
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: get in 20 years of therapy with somebody. And I'm like, OK,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: I am now not OK with the fact that this
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: is where we are. And it's no longer OK for
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: me that. The only people who will know this information
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: are people who have X amount of, you know, 100
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: bucks to go see somebody in person. That's not the
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: reality for a lot of people. So I started to
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: have this real desire to reach a large scale of
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: people and more than that, to be reaching people who
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: really could not afford sessions. Right. That's what....
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Do you remember what your original theme on YouTube was
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: that you started with? I mean, I know it's one
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: thing to be a clairvoyant and talk about things that
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: you can predict or see, but were you starting with,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: you know, videos on self-help as opposed to, you know,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: ancestral healing? You know, what was the first kind of
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: message you were sending back then?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it was tell me what you want to know.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's why the series that I started was
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: was Ask Teal. It was just literally like, you guys,
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I don't really have I'm not in touch with what
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: it is that you don't know that you want to know.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: So just ask me whatever, you know. And so people
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: would submit questions, things like, I want to know what
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: a ghost is. And so I'd be like, all right,
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: what's a ghost, you know, or they'd be like, how
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: do I manifest better? OK, manifestation, you know. I was just,
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: I felt like, honestly, my whole career has felt like this.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: It hasn't felt like, I mean, I obviously have an
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: agenda relative to human suffering, but it hasn't really felt
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: like I have this one very serious message and maybe
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: that message evolves, but I have this agenda. It doesn't
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: feel like this. It feels like this game I'm playing
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: with humanity, like a back and forth game. Where, you know,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: they hit me a ball and I'm like, oh, and
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: here's the return. And they're like, but, but, and then
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: they hit a ball back. And then I'm like, oh,
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: here's a return. And it still feels that way. And
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I honestly, I feel like this is something that differentiates
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: me from everyone else in this business. Because I feel
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: like I'm in such a dynamic relationship with the world, basically,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: in what I'm doing and what I'm teaching and what
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: I choose to prioritize and what's important on a given day. Yeah.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Did you ever think that so many people would
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: be listening to you?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, I thought a ton more would, actually. I'm actually
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: frustrated at my level of growth, which most people would
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: consider to be absolutely astronomical. And I'm just like, yeah.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: I thought the receptivity and desire would be much higher
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: when you compare it to the amount that people are suffering.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: So let's say that I'm looking at a world full of,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: you know, millions upon millions upon millions upon millions of
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: people who are suffering in relationships so bad, you know,
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: and I thought, you know, to begin with, I'm going
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: to put out information that's going to help them and
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: they're just going to jump on it. And that is
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: not the case. It seems to be that people have
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: to get to a place where they're so willing to
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: lose everything for the sake of truth. And then they're
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: willing to watch the information. Right.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Well, do you think it's because people haven't come across
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: you yet? Do you think it's just because people keep
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: staying in their patterns? You know, why?
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Because people have. So I resonate at this frequency of
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: what is real and of personal truth. Right. And that's
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: a really scary thing. Most people don't live there. And so.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: What you'll notice is that people, when they come across
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: my videos, they have a kind of flirtation process that
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: happens where they see my image and they're like, whoa.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: But then they're like, and then like, again, I pop
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: up and they're like, and they're like, one day, who
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: knows what it is in their life. They're like, right,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go down the rabbit hole. Interesting.
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I could see that. But when they do go down
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the rabbit hole, people have gone one way or the other.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Do you find that to the extreme? I think you're someone,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: and I resonate with this, that people either really love
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: or really hate.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: Yes. There's nobody in the middle. There's nobody in the middle.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: And that's a really difficult place to live. You feel
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: very misunderstood.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: So, oh, I want to go back to one thing, too,
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: when you were talking about the YouTube and getting started
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: and all these people. What was your first time on stage?
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Because a huge part of what you do is doing
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: these series on stage with people coming up and talking
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: to you, so many people in the audience. The very
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: first time you did that, were you nervous about what
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: might take place? I mean, you're dealing with people. People
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: are completely unstable, erratic. You have no idea what you're
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: going to get. Tell me about that first time.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: You know, this might be a really obnoxious answer, but
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: I was on stage before I ever started a YouTube career.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: That was the first place that I went to after
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: writing a book, actually. And I was on stage in
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: front of probably like 25 people in a little violin
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: studio that I rented. I'm telling you, it was the weirdest.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: It was one of the weirdest experiences because I had
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: never really spoken on stage before. In fact, I came,
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: you know, at a certain time period, I came from modeling.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: So I like had done runway and stuff like that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: But I had turned down opportunities to act before because
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: I was like, I can't talk. I'm sorry. I'm just
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: going to shut down. That is not what happened. It
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: was weird. It was like I stepped up on stage
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: and I had been there for thousands of years. I
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: had no issue at all. The oration was like, I
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: felt like I had an intimate relationship with everybody in
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: the room. And I stepped off stage afterwards and it
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: didn't go well, by the way, there was a woman
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: who stood up in the middle of it. Because I
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: was talking about how, you know, when things essentially occur
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: in your life, the only way to gain empowerment really
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: is to sort of see how am I lending to
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: this pattern. Now, when people first get introduced to that idea,
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: they feel like there's a huge element of self-blame regarding
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: the things that are hurting them the most. this woman
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: stood up in the audience and was like, I rate,
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, swearing at me, like, how dare you tell
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: me that I have anything to do with why my
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: husband left me. And like, I wasn't even talking about that,
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: but I had a major cord with her. So it's
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: not like it was a smooth event in that respect,
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: but I stepped off stage and it was like, this
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: is bizarre. This feels like I was a bird who
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: spent my life in water and I just flew for
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: the first time and I did not even have to try. Wow. Yeah.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: How do you come up with your content? You come
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: out with new content all the time. And I'm curious
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: if it's from, if it's almost like a teacher that
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: has a syllabus of things that you're getting through, or
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: if it's something that strikes a chord with you because
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: it's something you're dealing with in your own personal life
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: and then you want to talk about it.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I'm answering to whatever I come across. And obviously this
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: has become very easy.
• 28:18
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• 28:21
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• 28:37
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• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I travel around the world because... When you go and
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: you interact with new people, you become aware of new patterns.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: So let's say that tomorrow I'm about to get on
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: an airplane and go back to my retreat center in
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Costa Rica where I'm hosting retreat. Let's say that at
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: that retreat, I'm working with somebody who is not really
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: understanding the difference between, say, compromise and workability. That's the
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: moment that I go, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden understand there's a confusion about compromise
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: and that's getting people into trouble. So I'll try to
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: figure out from those people who I'm around what the
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: confusion is. And then my episodes will answer to that.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: It'll be around the subject of compromise, specifically trying to
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: answer to every question or confusion that a person might have.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: Right, right. Do you think that what you teach is
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: controversial or do you think that that's just what people
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: say when they don't understand things or when they're scared
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: by it?
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: I think my character is much more controversial than my content,
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: but I do think there's a couple aspects of my
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: content that are controversial, which really frustrate me.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Seen that way.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Right well I wanted to get into that a little
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: bit because obviously as we all know you know you've
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: been the subject of documentaries uh podcasts um things you
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: have signed on to participate in and things you haven't
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: um I'm curious your feelings on them I'm curious if
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: you watch them I'm curious if they affect.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: You oh I get destroyed by this I think that
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: people assume that I'm, I'm just this super confident person
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: who's almost narcissistic and completely convinced that I'm right all
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: the time. And it's not actually the case. Cause like
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm in this very dynamic back and forth relationship.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: And so I'm likely to be at three o'clock in
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: the morning, sort of tossing and turning over why somebody
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: feels a certain way with me or why they're thinking that,
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: or am I really doing something bad or, you know, no,
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: it gets to me in a serious way. Um, it's
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: been one of the hardest parts of my career for sure. Right.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: And in the absence, I mean, I know for a
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: long time you didn't want to talk about it. And
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: I think I've heard you say a couple of times
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: to just ignore it. But in the absence of speaking
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: about something or defending yourself almost, people just create a
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: narrative that fits in what they believe or fits in with,
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: you know, jumping on the bandwagon of the haters because
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: that gives them a community to be a part of
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: if they're no longer part of your community. And I just,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: you know, I wanted to give you the opportunity to
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: kind of just address that once and for all.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't agree with what I said before. I mean,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: you make mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes in their career, right?
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: And when I first came into this, you know, I
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: didn't know what I was doing. It's not like I
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: had a bunch of people who were like, oh, you know,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: we're a family of famous people and we know exactly
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: how to deal with this type of backlash from the
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: press or from people. Yeah. So you're just kind of
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: like blundering around in the dark. And there were so
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: many people at the time that were giving me advice
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: when I wanted to defend myself of like, don't do this,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: like turn the other cheek, don't lend it energy. That's
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: a real big thing in the spiritual field too. Whatever
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: you focus on, you give energy to, right? So, you know,
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: in the beginning of my career, I just took this
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: real sort of, okay, I'm going to have to turn
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: the other cheek and just keep focusing on what it
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: is that I want to say and want to do.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: And I think it was the biggest mistake in my
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: career that I ever made. Because if I would have
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: nipped some of this stuff in the bud very early,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: it wouldn't have multiplied. And I didn't understand the power
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: of the internet. You don't need powerful press sources to
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: essentially create a story anymore. You just need 20 people
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: saying the same thing. Well, that's pretty easy. Right. So
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: I definitely wish I had come out earlier and been like, okay,
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: this is what's being said. This is why it's not true.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: This is what really happened. That would have been a
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: lot smarter. Yeah.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah. And some of the most popular shows right
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: now on streaming networks, on movies, whatever, have to do
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: with documentaries surrounding spiritual life. Cults, I'm going to say,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: like The Vow, the NXIVM situation, Escaping Twin Flames, the
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: Sarah Lawrence documentary. I think it was called Stolen Youth
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: or something. Are you familiar with these three topics?
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've heard about them because right now the industry
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: is trying to take down like all kinds of spiritual leaders.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: There's like a huge aggressive push towards it right now. Right.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: So with those three, for example, which, you know, one
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: of them's in prison. I don't know about the other
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: guys because I didn't watch those, but they were a
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: little too, you know, not my style. But the NXIVM
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: thing was a huge deal all over. I mean, do
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: you agree that those were cults or do you think
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: they were just represented wrong by a bunch of haters
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: and brought down?
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: I have never I actually have not seen enough of them.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: Um, so it's like, I, I would not be able
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: to talk to them unless I got involved. I didn't
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: watch them. Like I'm aware of them because I get
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: these messages from people who are like, Hey, they're doing
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: it to all these people right now. And like this
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: one and this one and this one. So you hear
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: these words kind of like floating by your, your psyche.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: The one that I did watch was wild country and
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: it upset me immensely. It was really scary.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: What was that topic about?
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: It was about Osho, what happened with Osho and, um,
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: You know, I mean, obviously I'm watching that from the
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: perspective of being in my position. Osho is one of
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: those people who, I think he was one of the
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: most brilliant men that ever walked this earth. That's the
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: first thing. Second thing is just like, you know, when
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: they're interviewing the people behind closed doors about, there's no
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: way that Osho couldn't have known about any of this stuff.
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: I know I'm kind of like biting my nails going,
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. Like I've set myself up almost exactly
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: this way. I've actually set myself up like he did where, um,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: Where I put so many other people in charge of
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: like the day-to-day aspects of things and giving them so
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: much control because you literally can't just keep content creating
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: and being in this position and micromanage everything. You can't
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: do it. So it's like you turn the keys over
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: and then it's like what are people going to do
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: with your level of trust? There are things that have
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: happened in my company that I never even heard about
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: that I could definitely be liable for. So it's like
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: it's scary as hell to watch those things and be
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: like actually I could see how he wouldn't know any
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: of that.
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: Right. So but there's two sides to it. There's the
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: power of, let's say, the herd mentality. And I've heard
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: you talk about Napoleon and how he wasn't really a
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: short man.
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: And then to this day, it's a complex to have
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: a Napoleon complex because people created that narrative for him.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: And created this stigma of that. But then there's people like,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: you know, NXIVM and the vow where I think it's
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: been proven that this guy who was in power and
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: it's a spiritual person. you know, club of sorts, you know,
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: people that went there for help and he was having
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: sex with them and branding them. I mean, there are
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: people that do take advantage. And then you hear of
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: all these other spiritual, you know, regular religious leaders that,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: you know, tout, you know, marriage and all this stuff.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: And then they're having sex with their pool boy. So,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: you know, you just, you know, I guess my question
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: is like, how do you know who to trust, right?
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: How do you know what you're taught, who you're talking to?
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: I wish I could answer that question. I mean, I
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: think that we can all safely agree after what happened
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: to me last year that even I can't perfectly judge
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: who to trust and who not to trust. I mean,
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: you're basically asking a question that's right in alignment with
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: what I'm trying to answer myself. I don't know that
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: I have a perfect answer for that. Right.
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: And for people that say that you are a cult
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: leader or a guru, what is your response to that?
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: I mean, I always want to understand people's definition of
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: those things because when people throw out terms like that,
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: it's like it means something completely different to this person
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: or this person. So it's like if somebody is going
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: to sort of throw that accusatory statement at me, I'd
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: be like, okay, and what does it mean to be
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: a cult leader? What does that mean? Because like if
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: you broke it into leader of an organization, okay, yes.
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: But if you were to break it down to, you know,
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: creates control tactics to keep people in and huge consequences
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: for them leaving, no.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Right. I mean, that is very true. I mean,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: for some people, it has such a negative connotation, like
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: a David Koresh who ended up killing everybody that believed
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: in him.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: But then there are some people that are, you know,
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: gym goers and they love their yoga instructor. That's their guru. Right.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: And it just helps them find some center and peace
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: in their life. So you're right. I think the question
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: is about who it's coming from. Okay, so you have
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: some detractors that have an issue with the way that
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: you show up for them. You mentioned that a little
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: bit earlier when I asked you a question. And I
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: think it's actually very interesting. You're a spiritual leader. You
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: would think you're sitting around in like a cardigan drinking tea. Oh,
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: I say that as you're taking a sip of tea. Um,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: but like by a fire, very calm, but you, you know,
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: you are hot and you look like you could have
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: been a dominatrix a couple of years ago with your
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: gorgeous hair. Like what, I mean, you just don't show
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: up for people the way I think that a lot
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: of people expect their spiritual leader to. And I wonder
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: if you think that makes them, I don't know if
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: jealous is the word, um, threatened. What do you think
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: that is?
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I think they disqualify me because of it. I mean,
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: people already come into... things expecting how a person looks
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: is not very much different with a doctor though. I mean,
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: if somebody was going to walk in the room and
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: their doctor looked like a 13 year old, they would
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: have the same like, no, no, no, no, because they've
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: already got a preconceived notion of who they want to
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: learn from and what that person needs to be like.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: And it's like a whole list of shoulds before they're
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: going to consider you as valid. Right. And yeah, I
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: don't have any of those criteria, nor did I plan
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: to before coming down here.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Do you think your sex appeal or being a woman
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: makes it more difficult for you?
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Like that's kind of the
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: joke that I love telling because people are like, God,
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: she has so much following probably because she's pretty. And
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you guys don't even understand how much all
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: of those things have been a hindrance. I mean, if
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: I wear anything less than this, it's like, Oh, she's
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: using her sexuality to attract following. Like, Ah, I mean,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: it feels like you literally can't win. And man, I mean. Well,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: if it.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: Helps them, who gives a shit how you get your followers?
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: I mean. Yeah. It frustrates me because I, of course,
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: like I'm wanting to, I'm wanting people to understand, you know,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: the value of the content that I teach. And it's
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: very difficult for people to go there when they don't
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: want somebody who has good content to look like me.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Right, right. So you're saying it takes your credibility away sometimes.
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Like a lot, like a whole lot.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I am going to ask you about this.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: A lot has been made on your view on suicide
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: and glorifying death, so to speak. I want to give
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: you a chance to clear up any misconceptions about that statement.
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: I'm running a very difficult, you know, business here and
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: I'm in a difficult position because as a spiritual teacher,
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: one of the things that's most important for me to
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: talk about is death, right? Death is something which we're
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: all going to face in our lifetime, not only because
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: of us dying, but losing things that we love. There's
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: a temporary aspect to the nature of life. I also
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: have a lot of information on death, things like that.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: It's not going to be helpful for human beings to
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: have such an adversarial relationship with death. For death to me,
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: the ultimate horror, and yet it's something that all of
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: us will deal with, is not healthy. People seem to
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: come along with me on that so far as to
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: understand that if I'm dealing with somebody who, say, lost
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: a loved one, and I talk to them about what
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: it is like to die and the greater purpose of
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: death in the context of life, they are like, oh, yeah,
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: that's fine. But what people have done is decided that
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: there's all kinds of right ways to die and right
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: times to die and all kinds of wrong ways to
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: die and wrong times to die. That's why we have
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: a different reaction to somebody who's 15 dying than we
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: do to somebody who is 90. We almost have a
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: blasé attitude towards a 90-year-old. We're like, she was just old. Okay,
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: so what I need people to understand first is this
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: incredibly dichotomous relationship we have with death to start with, right?
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: That makes it very, very difficult because it feels like
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: in my career I'm walking on this tightrope trying to
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: navigate other people's ideas of rightness and wrongness around death.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: So this whole thing, like a lot of this whole
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: thing around me and my stance on suicide started back
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: very early in my career when... You know, I was
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: sharing truths about the universe that I don't think people
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: were ready to hear or that they made mean certain things.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: You know, like I'll give you an example. Early on
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: in my career, I made a very bold statement on
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: a stage when I said that every death is a suicide. Why?
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Because your non-physical and physical aspect have to both decide
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: upon death. And if there's a disagreement here, you're going
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: to watch somebody slip into a coma or something like that.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: So I guess it's a subversive idea for people to
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: conceptualize of. I mean, other things that I've said. Oh, yeah.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: When it comes to suicide, I don't believe that it's
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: helpful for people to deny, suppress, and disown the fact
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: that they are feeling suicidal, which is what the majority
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: of society expects suicidal people to do. What they expect
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: them to do is to be like, put it out
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: of your mind. It's just the weak thing to do.
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: You know, just call a friend. And I'm like, actually,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: these types of sentiments that you're feeling and, you know,
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: the ideation that you're going into is something that has
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: to be consciously engaged with. You have to actually.
• 42:08
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• 42:28
  Speaker 2: Dealing with the part of you that really feels like
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: it doesn't want to commit here to understand enough about
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: what pain is happening that a person feels like they
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: can't change that that is where they are going with
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: their mentality my issue is i don't support the concept
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: of suicide i mean i may have some views of
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: my own on physician assisted suicide and things like that
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: because i hate watching people suffering but I'm never going
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: to be the kind of person who's celebrating because somebody
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: shot themselves. It's not what I'm doing. I'm doing the opposite.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to get people out of the pain they're
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: in that makes them feel like they're so powerless that
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: they want to go do that. But I'm going to assert,
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: and this is one of my controversial stances, that in
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: order to do that, you have to deeply engage with
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: where somebody is and what they feel like they're going
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: to be getting out of it and The nuances of
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: why they're considering to commit suicide in the way that
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: they are because there's tons of information even in that.
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: If you've got somebody who wants to do it in
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: a really violent way that's super public, this is a
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: person who doesn't feel seen.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Well, then that gives you all kinds of information if
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: you're in my position for what type of unmet need
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: we need to meet quickly. Mm-hmm.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting because I've watched a lot and
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: I've heard a lot. And I mentioned to people that
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: I was having you on and the bulk of the
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: questions surrounded this topic. topic. So I wanted to think
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: for myself, like how I would feel. So I, it's
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: funny that you say about this medically assisted death. I
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: actually did an episode on it recently because I found
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: it fascinating. My aunt who lives in California, um, used
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: to be, she was the head of obstetrics at UCSF.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: She would deliver babies and she retired. She was like,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I can't go to like fold in laundry. I mean,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: I brought, you know, life into this world all my,
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: you And her husband got sick and they were given
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: the medicine for medically assisted suicide. And he lived. He
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: chose not to take it. He's still alive to this day.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: God bless him. But she now can be hired to
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: sit with you while you take the medicine. And I
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: did a whole episode trying to understand the position people
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: are at when they choose to die in those circumstances.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: They've been given six months to live. They they've said goodbye.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: They know it's not going to get better.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: It's over.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Whereas we're talking about people who are at the point
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: where they are so alone, so miserable, feel like there's
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: no way out, feel shame, whatever it is for them, right?
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: That they need to feel the need to do this.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: And something I've heard you talk about, which really made
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: sense to me is that, okay, let's, instead of giving them, oh,
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: you want to live, you have a child, somebody needs you,
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: the life is so beautiful, it's going to get better,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: all that bullshit, because in reality, they don't want to
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: hear that. That's not going to help them. It's more like, well,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: what would happen if you did kill yourself? Who would
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: that affect? How would that change things? Because you want
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: to change that person's view on wanting to make the
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: choice to live as opposed to being on this fence
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: about whether or not they want to live. And it
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: really made me emotional thinking about that because I don't
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: know that I've ever been in a place that I've
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: been fully suicidal, but I've had a lot of terrible
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: things that I've gone through in my life that I've
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: questioned myself what, what, why, why did this happen to me?
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: What do I do to get out of it? And
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: I've had to choose to stay put and to take
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: a step forward, you know, and being alone is the
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: worst because no one really understands that pain and you
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: kind of got to get it through, get through it
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: yourself to make that decision. But anyways, I, I can
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: understand the controversy around what you said. I can understand
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: why people don't get it, but I do understand what
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: you're How you are trying to bring people to make
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: that decision on their own, because they can stop seeing
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: their therapist, they can stop seeing you, they can stop
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: watching their YouTube messages, but they have to live with
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: themselves and put their head on the pillow every night
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: and be making the choice to stay. And I think
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: that you are trying, correct me if I'm wrong, to
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: guide them to the place where they don't need you,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: that they are making that decision on their own.
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I mean, more than that. I'm trying to
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: guide a person to a position where their needs are
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: met to the degree that they're not in the kind
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: of pain that would make them want to do something
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: I'm not the kind of person who sits here expecting
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: somebody to make a choice to be part of life,
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: even though it sucks for them so bad they can
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: hardly breathe. My whole mentality is like, why are we
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: accepting this? I understand you feel powerless, but are we powerless?
• 46:57
  Speaker 2: I don't want you to be sitting here suffering alone,
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: you know?
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: Right. But I think it's such an important message that
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: you have shared with people. You've been through it. You
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: know what that feels like. You've been in the position
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: where you want to take your life. You know, I've
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: been in terrible positions too. I think it's part of
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: life to be down in the dumps, to be in
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: a real, you know, I have a tattoo down my
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: back and it says, I have to remember the wording
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: because I can't see it, right? It says, without pain,
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: happiness has no meaning. And I truly believe it's important
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: that you feel, you know, a certain pendulum of pain
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: to be able to feel that pendulum of happiness. And
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: you have to, like, marinate it, kind of. You have
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: to feel it or you're not... Or you're just going
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: to find excuses and you're always going to go back
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: to that place. So, you know, I've learned the hard
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: way that that's how it has to happen. But because
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: you never want to feel uncomfortable, but that's part of
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: getting through life. I mean, what are your thoughts on that?
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: I don't think that people have to get to the
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: depths of suffering that they get to in order to
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: find the joy that they're trying to find. Human beings
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: are masters of what I call resistance. So, yeah. This
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: natural game where you would experience the contrast of life,
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: meaning the unwanted is meant to give rise to the wanted.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: But we could play this game kind of like this.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: Real suffering is about the gap between where you are
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: and what you're wanting. Now, if I go and I
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: desire this, but I go into resistance about going there,
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: then I increase my gap. And then I increase my gap.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: And then I increase it to the point where I'm
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: suffering so bad. Because of this disparity between where I
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: am and what it is that I'm wanting. And that
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: is not a necessary thing. Do I think that the
• 48:39
  Speaker 2: unwanted gives rise to desire and therefore gives rise to
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: human progression? Yes. Do I feel like you're never going
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: to taste a better sandwich than when you're hungry? Yes.
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: But I mean, I'm not talking about that sort of
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: game of depth of feeling positive and negative. I'm talking
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: about suffering. Suffering is not necessary.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You were talking about death earlier. I just want
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: to go back to that for one second. There are
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: some people that cannot get past the death of a
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: loved one. It like makes them so stuck. Do you
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: have advice for someone who is stuck within that?
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: Well, it would definitely depend on what it is that
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: is making a person stuck because it's not always the
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: same recipe. But I will tell you that one of
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: the most dominant patterns that I notice when people are
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: struggling with essentially moving, I don't want to even say
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: moving beyond because even that creates pain for them, getting
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: to a place where they can have a happy life
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: is with the fact that they have lost something or
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: somebody that they love so much is this incredible loyalty.
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: When we lose something that we love, we tend to
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: demonstrate our level of loyalty and connection to that thing
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: by virtue of the pain that we're in about it.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: So we use pain, in fact, as our way of
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: staying connected to them. So a real good way to
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: move beyond that is to find a different way of
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: staying connected to whatever it is that you lost.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: Right. Another thing your haters have questioned is if you
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: should be giving relationship advice because you've had so many marriages.
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: What is your thought on that?
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: You know what's funny is I decided to do an
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: entire video on this because I feel like I'm going
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: to do a better job when I break it down
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: to several points. I mean, I can understand why people
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: have that reaction. Why? Because what people want more than
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: anything is longevity in relationships. So currently, the measuring stick
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: for success in a relationship is longevity and longevity only
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: relative to the romantic relationship. So let's say that in
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: my life, you know, I've lived in an intentional community
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: for years. And let's say that I've got people who
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: I've been living with for 10 years, 18 years. You know,
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: my closest friend that I had all the way from
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: childhood has been 20 plus years. Nobody's going to count
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: those relationships. Right. You know, and that's kind of odd
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: to me. I mean, because it's another type of relationship, right?
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: That's number one. One of the things that I think
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: is pretty interesting is that, you know, I don't feel
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: like I could derive, you know, particularly accurate advice from
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: somebody who'd been married, let's say in the 1920s in
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: a whole different era for, you know, let's say 28
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: years to their spouse, because the way that current modern
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: life is the way that current relationships are like, there's no,
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: there's no transfer there. Number one, number two, how much,
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: are the people who we're celebrating for their relationship lasting,
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: how much are they making their relationship last because of
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: dysfunction rather than function?
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: Right. Because of the kids, because they don't have another
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: way out monetarily.
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, I feel like people who have a lot of,
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: you know, who's a lot of their relationship has failed.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: And I do have, I have a lot of relationships
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: that went to hell. You gain a lot of information
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: every time that happens.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: A hundred percent. Yeah.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: So why, why are we not well as a person?
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So like I, you know, me, when I'm, if I'm,
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: you know, in a, in a person's seat, I'm not
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: going to create criteria like that. I'm only going to
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: listen to somebody if they fit this criteria of what
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: I feel like I should be watching. So if they've,
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: I'm only going to listen to a relationship expert that's
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: been married for 25 years or something for me, I'm like, I,
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: you know, I want to listen to what everybody thinks
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: because everybody's life experience gives them some kind of knowledge,
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: you know? I'd be just as interested in listening to
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: somebody who's had a, you know, 50 year marriage, honestly,
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: than I would be interested in listening to somebody who's
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: had 13 failed marriages. Cause I'm like, you're just going
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: to get a totally different perspective on what makes relationships work,
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: what makes them fail, what you should be doing, what
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't be doing. You know, I just, I was
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: more open to like taking in information, you know, without disqualifying,
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: always disqualifying the source, which is just the weakest. It's
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: just the weakest thing to do, you know? Yeah.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: It's very interesting you say all that because my daughter said, I'm,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be 49 this month. I have been
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: married three times, two times, three, two. Um, and you know,
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not dating anybody. I'm, you know, and my daughter
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: who's 11 is always like, Oh God, mom, you have
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: the worst track record with men. And I finally kind
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: of got to this place in my life where I
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: said to her the other day, that's so not true.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: I date really interesting people. I try them on if
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: they're not right for me. At least I've learned something
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: from every single experience I've been in. And, you know,
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: I actually think that's great. I have so many friends.
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: Some of them I don't speak to, but at least
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: I can say that I found something from each person
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: on behaviors that I don't want from them, behaviors that
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: I don't want from me. Like I've learned so many
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: lessons from that. So the fact that I'm not married
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: is a bummer because I'd like to find my, you know,
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: the witness to my life and someone to share my
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: life with. But at the same time, I supplement that with,
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm a single mom. She's like my relationship
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: right now. The friends that I make over time, it
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. partner until it's
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: the right person. I'm not going to settle for that.
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: But I also think it's strange when people want to
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: listen to someone, like you said, who's been married for
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: 40 years. You know, there was just a documentary on
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: Jerry Falwell Jr. who's been married for whatever it's been.
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: And we all find out that his marriage is a
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: whole lie, but people are listening to him for his
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: spirituality and his relationship guidance. And, you know, but the
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: wife is having an affair with someone and he's watching
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: in the corner and who knows? I mean, All the
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: power to them, but that's, you know, I don't know
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: who you listen to relationship advice from, but it can't
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: be somebody that, you know, you can't admire or understand
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: why they've done things. So, you know, I don't trust
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: anyone who hasn't been through it and people that are
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: staying in marriages for 20 years because they're waiting for
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: their children to go to college. I don't agree with
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: that either, you know, so.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: Right now, we're in a place where longevity really we
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: need to consider whether longevity should be the only measuring
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: stick for success in a relationship, because we all know,
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: you know, that person or those multiple people, maybe everyone
• 55:02
  Speaker 2: that we know where the way that they've achieved longevity
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: is some kind of dysfunction and dysfunction. it's like, as
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: people were afraid to admit this, but the faster that
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: we admit to this, I feel like the better we're
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: going to be because we're going to have a new
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: definition for what a successful relationship looks like. It's not
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: just going to be, did you stay married for, you know,
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: the length of time?
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm curious. Do you believe in marriage still?
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm ever going to not love
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: marriages and marriage as a concept, but, um.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: Do you think you'll ever get married again?
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: I am very afraid of saying that I'm never going
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: to do something because it seems like every time I
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: say that, the universe is like, oh, yeah. I'm going
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: to say I'm in a darker place relative to marriage
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: because I can see in myself, I can see the
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: reasons that I was going for it and going for
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: it so many times is essentially this sensation that you
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: can't get any kind of belonging or security any other
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: way And, you know, it's something that I'm talking a
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: lot about now publicly, that coupling creates coupling, because if
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: the only way that you can get security, you know,
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: really in a relationship and depend on being prioritized and
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: things like that is if you couple up with somebody,
• 56:34
  Speaker 2: then somebody else is always going to have another priority.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: So your only way of getting it is to couple
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: up yourself.
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: I'm not liking the fact that this is where humanity
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: is relative to relationships. I'm not liking the fact that
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: we can't somehow offer each other a sense of social
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: security and a sense of belonging without having to bargain
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: your vagina for it, to be totally honest, which is
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: what it feels like. So me, I'm focusing much more
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: of my life right now on this concept of restoration
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: of tribe, where I'm like, you don't have to couple
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: up with somebody to decide that you're committed to somebody
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: for life. And we can do that with multiple people.
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be just one person. And like
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: the sexuality element can be separated from that whole picture.
• 57:16
  Speaker 2: It can either be part of it or not. Like,
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: why are we just, it's almost like it's so enmeshed.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: I don't actually feel like we're in a healthy place
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: because we haven't dissected these different elements and been like,
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: what are some creative ways we could be doing this differently?
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: You know, the way that marriage was created on this
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: planet is kind of sad, honestly. Yeah.
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to give you some rapid
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: fire questions. Some of these are serious. Some of these
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: are not so serious. This is an important one. For
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: people who feel stuck right now, what is one thing
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: they can do to move forward?
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: So stuckness is always about the fact that you've got
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: one aspect of you that feels like going in a
• 57:53
  Speaker 2: certain direction is going to get you something positive, and
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: another aspect of you feels like going in that direction
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: is going to end up with something negative. We could
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: consider that part that I just mentioned, the resistance. When
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: you're stuck, you have to face directly your resistance to
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: going in that direction. And then based off of whatever
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: you find the truth to be, it's going to be
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: different based on what situation somebody's stuck in. You start
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: to sort of work with that and whittle that down
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: and question that and create a kind of a workability
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: that didn't exist there before. But when you're answering directly
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: to it, obviously you're going to take different actions. So like,
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: let's say that I'll give you an example. Let's say
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: that I'm really stuck in my life because, you know,
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like I want to quit my job, but, um,
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing it because the aspect of me that's
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: in resistance to that desire of mine is like, no,
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: like financial security is actually a very big deal for me.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: If I face directly the fact that financial security is
• 58:47
  Speaker 2: a big deal for me, that's almost like its own
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: rabbit hole that I can now dive into and I
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: can start to get creative with it. Are there other
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: ways that I could establish financial security? Is there a
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: way that I could commit to this until a certain
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: level of financial security to make myself safe there? Is
• 59:02
  Speaker 2: there some belief that I have from my childhood around
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: financial security that I can start to work on that
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: childhood experience or childhood trauma now? so that I don't
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: have such an intense relationship with financial security? You could
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: go all kinds of different roads with it, but it's
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: about resolving and reducing the resistance level you have to
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: going in the direction of whatever is wanted.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Okay. Is there a secret to living a happy life?
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: To figure out what your values are and to live
• 59:31
  Speaker 2: aggressively in alignment with your values. And it's best if
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: people can, out of a list of values, pick your
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: top five and be able to prioritize your top one,
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: even out of those top fives. But the people who
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: are the happiest and most fulfilled in life are the
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: ones who are living a life, meaning their thoughts, words,
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: and actions are aligned with what they value. What we
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: value is really about what's most important to us, and
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: that's going to be different based on one person or
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: another person, which is part of why we get in
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: so many arguments with each other, right? Because, you know...
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: One person saying, no, this is what you should value.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: And therefore, this is the decision you should make. And
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: another person's like, well, we should go in another direction. But,
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: you know, what happens with people prioritizing their values is
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: this high degree of resiliency, even for being met with adversity.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: Because if you're in alignment with what really is important
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: to you and you get hit with a tidal wave,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: there's this kind of like, all right, that really sucks.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: But I mean, still, this feels right to me. There's
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: a real internal strength that happens with that. And also,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: you know, when you're in alignment with your values, obviously
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: what's important to us often falls in alignment with what
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: causes us enjoyment. So we're in alignment with our own
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: personal definition of joy.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: What are some of your predictions for 2024 in terms
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: of themes or anything actually tangible you could tell us?
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 2: Well, this year the dominant theme for 2024 is destruction lust.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 2: It's a really scary one, honestly. That's a scary theme
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: for a year. But things are going to get real
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: entertaining and really shaken up. So to explain Destruction Lust.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: I think that all of us have experienced maybe like
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: a game when we were a kid where you're like
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: maybe trying really hard to get it right. And then
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: you get to a point where you're just so sick
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: of it that you're like ready to just knock the
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: whole thing over. That's destruction lust. And so many people
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: on the globe today have that sensation of destruction lust
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: towards the things that they're trying so hard at. So
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: that destruction lust is... is likely to get us into
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: a lot of trouble this year, honestly, which is why
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: it makes me a little bit nervous because there's value
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: in that which we destruct that we aren't acknowledging when
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: we're ready to just lose it all to be in
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: a different place. decision making is another thing that's going
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: to be massive this year. It's going to annoy people.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, the amount of decisions that are going to
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: be put in front of people, just like really big ones,
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: like all the time, you know, we're getting pinched. All
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: people are just getting like knuckled by the universe into
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: this position of being like, no, you're going to figure
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: out what it is you actually want right now. We're
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: not going to be stuck anymore.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: Right. Do you have a prediction for the presidential election?
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: God. I would be very– yeah, I mean when I'm
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 2: looking at life path potentials, there's lots of different life
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: path potentials. So it's like I can't really tell you
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: 100% that I know that this person is going to win.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to tell you that if Trump doesn't win,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be scratching my head. Why? Because in
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 2: alignment with where people are right now and in alignment
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 2: with this destruction-less thing especially, people tend to go for
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: the leader that they perceive to be the strongest, right? And,
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: you know, what Trump essentially does is puts forward a
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: persona that is so unwavering and does not question that
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: people perceive that that type of a person is going
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: to create change. And that is what people are desperate
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: for right now. They feel like the system doesn't serve them.
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: And so, you know, no matter whether a person says,
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: let's say that if a person is going to destroy
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: the whole thing, you know, and create a whole new thing,
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: we're going to vote for that. So Yeah, if this
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: November rolls around and it doesn't end up being him,
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: I will be very confused and have to go sort
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: of back to square one in terms of watching human
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: patterns and how that whole thing went down.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: Well, we'll revisit that next at the end of the year.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: How do you keep your excellence in a world filled
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: with so much competition? I mean, now that there's social
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: media and, you know, it's like Denise from New Jersey
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: can get on, you know, TikTok and say she's a
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: guru on spiritual healing or something. So like, how do
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: you keep, you know, stay on the top?
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: I have to care more about the quality of what
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: I'm delivering to people, regardless of what other people are
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: saying or doing, and regardless of whether they have the
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: capacity to, you know, do marketing better than I do,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: or put themselves out on social media platforms better than
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: I do. It really creates this, I guess, pressure to
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 2: remain committed. Ironically, we were talking about values before, and
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: now you bring up excellence, which is my top value.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: It's like, it's, it's put a lot of pressure on
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: me to decide, you know, what is more important to me.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: Is it, is it viewership, which is better with a
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: 40 second soundbite? Is it, um, amount of money I'm making,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: you know, and like, I keep settling back on it's,
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: it's the con I want the content itself to be
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: so good, basically that, that it would be very difficult
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: to beat me in that way. And if somebody does,
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: they better be teaching. Um, It does frustrate me. I'll
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: tell you, the people who are in my position, what
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: you described is probably our number one frustration, just the
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 2: fact that the market is so damn overloaded with everybody
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: that thinks that they know exactly what they're talking about
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: and thinks that they can compete at this level. I
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: will tell you, though, that it has gotten better recently
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: because now quite often when I see people who are
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: essentially trying to become the next spiritual teacher, My sentiment
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: is be my guest because it is one of the
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: most difficult things ever. Like this particular field is something
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: that makes the professional sports world look like a kindergarten. So,
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: you know, I know, I know how hard it's been
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: And there is no effing way. I mean, there is
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: no effing way that other people could do this. Right.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 2: So I've gotten to a point where.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: It's the concept of the last ones standing are going
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: to be the ones that are the real ones. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: Like fully. So I'm just like, look, if you run
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: into half of what I have, like, I will be
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: praying for you myself. It is not fun out there. So... Yeah.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: You said you live a life much different than most.
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: I know you have to travel with security. Obviously, your
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: life is completely different. What's it like to be a
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: single mom living this life? Like for me, my life
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: as a single mom with a daughter is it's all
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift all the time. And if I swear I
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 1: have to put the money in a jar to be
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: able to go to the next concert when she comes back.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: um to Miami even though she's already been to the
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: concert that's her whole world so for you what is
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: it like to have a four he's 14 yeah to
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: have a son.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: It's both magic and hell I mean I'm lucky in
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: that he's my son is really different than a lot
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: of other boys he's he's you know he got like
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: a sensitive soul but he's very even keeled and He's
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: very connecty. So he doesn't feel like a teenager and
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: he doesn't want to do things with his friends only.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: He's like very touchy, feely, cuddly still. So I've, you know,
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: a lot of ways I still have a real child
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: on my hands, even though he's 14. So a lot
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: of it looks like what it did when he was younger,
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: where I'm, I'm really just trying to prioritize, you know,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: jumping off podcasts, for example, and being able to really
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: sit down and give him quality time. And that is
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: the hell of that. You know, the magic of that
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: is I get to connect with this totally magic being
• 1:07:25
  Speaker 2: the hell of that is just, there is, I don't
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: really have words for how difficult it is to be
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: a single mother, much less a mother period. It doesn't
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: matter whether you're single or not and have a career.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: It's been torture. Right.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: Do you see any, you know, spirituality in him that
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: you had as a child? Do you see anything in
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: him of you?
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do. Um, a little bit. He's definitely got
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: more of his dad's mind than me. He's got like,
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: his father has like got a very engineer math oriented
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: mind and he definitely got that thankfully. But, um, my
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: son is able to, to decode human patterns in the
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 2: way that I can. It's pretty impressive to hear his
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: take on other people. Cause he will, I mean, he
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 2: shreds them already like a psychologist does, you know? Right.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 1: That's amazing. Um, how does someone date tail Swan? I
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: take it. You're not on hinge and mumble.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 2: No, um, I'd love to answer that, but I don't
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: even know how to answer that question. My gosh. Usually
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: it's been just people that I essentially meet like in life,
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: like either on an airplane or, you know, at one
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: of the events that I am at, or, you know,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: let's say that I attend like some meditation sit. It's,
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 2: it's been kind of stuff like that. I'm currently at
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 2: this place where I'm wondering whether something about that should change,
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: but I don't know how to do that in a
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 2: safe way because, like, let's say I was to get
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: on any site, you know, everybody thinks they want to
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 2: date Teal Swan, but really, I think my pool is
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: like this for men that would actually, you know, want
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: it if they knew the reality of, of, you know,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: what it's like to live with me.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: Well, there's always someone for someone, right? Okay. What kind
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: of music do you listen to? I think people assume
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: that you're walking around in headphones while you're taking your walks,
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: listening to like birds or spiritual music. Like, are you
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: listening to Metallica or Hall and Oates or, you know,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 1: something that we would find interesting?
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, the thing that most people love slash
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: hate about me is the fact that I am absolutely
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: obsessed with rap. You are? Love rap. Oh, my God.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: Like who? Like Tupac?
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have the same birthday as Tupac. That's what
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: I love to blame for the fact that I've got
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: this little obsession.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: Like, I love Future. I love Drake. I love... Well,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: my favorite of all is Partisan Fontaine. I think he's
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: literally the master who's alive today. Yeah, so, like, I'm
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: the kind of person who... I don't have it in
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 2: this current car, but my previous car used to have
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: a giant subwoofer, and I would be, like, driving around
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: blasting rap. And, you know, I do have a... Here's
• 1:09:59
  Speaker 2: my excuse for this. So.
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: Besides the fact that it is an absolute art form.
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: Most people miss this because of the content. They don't
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 2: understand how incredibly sophisticated rap is. And they're the new poets, honestly.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 2: I was a skier. I was a professional skier. And
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: for professional skiers, that's what you're listening to when you're
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: skiing is rap. So it was part of that whole culture.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: And it's in my bones. And so I absolutely love it.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: And most people would never guess that somebody who is
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: into spiritual stuff would like rap. But I do. It's
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: not like all you're right.
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 1: It's very much like poetry. I mean, I fell in
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 1: love with Hamilton. I don't know. Have you seen Hamilton,
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: the Broadway play? And the music in it is so
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: phenomenal because it tells such a gorgeous story and you
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: get so into it. But it's rap, you know, and
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: it's I mean, it's unbelievable. I have no idea how
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: he came up with that. But OK, just a few
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: more random ones for people to get to know you. Like,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: do you do normal things like the rest of us?
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: Do you shop on Amazon? Do you look for deals? Like,
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 1: do you what do you do? tell me what makes
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: you like us.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: What makes me like normal. Okay. So I love eBay.
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: Um, okay.
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: I love eBay because why? Because you can find stuff
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: that you can't find other places. Like I don't have
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: an issue with the secondhand thing. It's just, you know,
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 2: I'm the kind of person who let's say that I
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: like a specific type of legging. I want like six
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: of them. And if nobody sells that legging anymore, I
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: have to find it somewhere that it's being sold. And
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: it's usually always eBay. So I do a lot of
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 2: Etsy because I love the independent artists and stuff like that. Um,
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: What else is normal? I love watching movies.
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: You do? What's your favorite movie?
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 2: My favorite movie is Dark Crystal.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: What else?
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: Do you go on Netflix or anything? Do you have
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: like a show you're binging? Do you watch Succession?
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: I just don't, I literally don't even have the time.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: I don't understand how people do have the time. I
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 2: feel like I'm running around from moment one to the
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 2: second that it stops. And if like, I have to really,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: if I want to see something, I can really put
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: forth energy to be able to cut out time for it.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: And usually I'm like combining multiple things. So I'll be
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: playing it in the background while I'm like making jewelry
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 2: or painting also.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's yeah.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: Do you follow pop culture at all?
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 2: Not really. Yeah.
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: Not really. So you're not up on, you know, Gypsy
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: Rose getting released from prison. You don't care.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: It's not really that I don't care. It's just like
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: when you when somebody like me picks this road to master,
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 2: it's like that your whole life revolves around that mastery.
• 1:12:37
  Speaker 2: And so there's a lot of peripheral information that just
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 2: doesn't get prioritized.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: No, I understand. But like, do things in the news
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: sometimes consume you? Like, remember when the submarine, the submersible
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: went down and was missing for five days? Like, were
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 1: you into that? I was up in the middle of
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: the night searching, like Googling what, you know, implosion means.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: That one upset me a lot. But I mean, with
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: things that are happening in the world, a lot of
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: times it is if it's really upsetting me in some
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: way and there's like... I can tell that I've got
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: some kind of a psychological catch around it. That one
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: bothered me. I could very easily put myself, you know,
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 2: before they essentially said they all blew up immediately. It
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: was like, yeah, very easily put myself in a position
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 2: where I could feel exactly what it must be like
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: to be in that position. And it was keeping me awake.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, me too. I was in the same boat
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 1: as you. No pun intended. So you're not the type
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: of person.
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: Go ahead. Cat and dog videos on Instagram. So, like,
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 2: I love to joke about this. It irritates me so
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 2: much that human attention span is so small and, like,
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: everybody would rather watch a cat video. But then I'm like, Teal,
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: you watched, like, eight cat videos today. Because I don't,
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: I mean, Instagram's pretty easy because, you know, I don't
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: need to take a lot of time out of my day.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: I could be, like, sitting on the toilet and, like,
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 2: look at an Instagram video. I love Instagram. cat and
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 2: dog videos on Instagram.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do too. I'll be honest. Those kind of
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: rescue missions with the dogs. I love those. They always,
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: I'm always sobbing and my daughter will walk in and
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: be like, mom, are you watching another dog video? You
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: got to stop.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: So, okay.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: So I was going to say, so you did not
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: have it on repeat when Taylor Swift got off the
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 1: stage and jumped into Travis Kelsey's arms and kissed him. No.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: I haven't heard about that happening. Oh, no.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: Okay, last question like this. On a deserted island, if
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 1: you were all by yourself and could bring one meal,
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: what would it be?
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: Is this like a... are we going a meal that
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: I would eat if I could, or are we going
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: like teals being normal teal and is eating teals normal diet?
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it's like, no, what, like what's your favorite food?
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: Like for me, it's hearts of palms. So random, like,
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: but what is something people don't know about you? I
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: think people assume you eat kale and drink green juices.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, if people assumed the way I ate, they would
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 2: still be about 80 miles short of how incredibly strict
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 2: I am with my diet. It is insane.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: It's nuts. Like, like it is beyond so far beyond,
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 2: like they're the only way to get more insane than
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: where I am right now in terms of like the
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: way that I, I, you know, live my life in
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 2: terms of lifestyle, including diet is if I grew my
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: own food, that's the only place to go. Wow.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: Why is that?
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 2: Because basically, in order to keep myself in enough of
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 2: an alignment state to take in this type of information,
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: and you'll notice that the more aware you become, actually,
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 2: the less tolerant you become to lower frequency things, you
• 1:15:37
  Speaker 2: get into this place where you're eating like most people
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: would eat on the strictest cleanse you could imagine, if
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: that was your everyday diet. It's the only way my
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 2: body doesn't flip out.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 4: Really?
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: So on this island, what would you be eating?
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 2: Let's play a game where I go more like, look,
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 2: I'm going to relate more to everyone else on Earth
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 2: that isn't as ridiculously psychotically disciplined as I am. And
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say, let's do food according to what
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 2: you really enjoy because I'm a huge foodie, right? The
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: meal that I would have there would be mashed potatoes,
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 2: fettuccine Alfredo, stuffed peppers, and pavlova and cotton candy.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: Wow. Okay. When was the last time you had any
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 1: of those?
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: Probably 12 years.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: You posted recently, the worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: That's basically the concept of my show. What is the
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: most misunderstood thing about you?
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: People think I'm a rule breaker. Without a doubt, especially
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: since people see me as this very controversial figure, they
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: see me as kind of an upstart who likes to
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: rebel against things, and that is not true at all.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 2: I hate breaking rules. Oh, my gosh. I'm the person
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: who's like, that's not the speed limit. So when I
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: decide to step out and go against the grain in
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 2: any way, it's for a very... very good reason. I
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 2: find no pleasure in rebellion.
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: Okay. Last question. What is on your bucket list for
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: 2024 or something you're looking forward to or something you
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: want to manifest in your life?
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: Right now, it's all about tribe. I mean, in the
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: last few years, I got hit real hard in terms
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: of my personal life, you know, because everything got so
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 2: heated with the amount of fame and a lot of the,
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 2: you know, pressures that were being put on us that,
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 2: a lot of the people around me decided that there
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: was no way that they could live a life like
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 2: this and that no matter how much they loved me,
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: they couldn't take the pressure.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: So it very much felt like I'm sort of with
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: my personality going to a layer of the stratosphere that
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: other people can't go to and thrive at and so
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 2: it felt like a lot of them had to sort
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 2: of go choose their own lives so that I could
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 2: go sort of join their life because this was some
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: somewhere that they couldn't sort of function and breathe and
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 2: I find myself more lonely than I have ever been
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 2: since my childhood actually right now so my focus is
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 2: really all about becoming resourced again on a personal level
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 2: in terms of really wanting to have a group of
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: people that I can live my life with. And I mean,
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 2: people who are compatible to this and that's rare, right?
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: I want to live my life with people. It's like you,
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: you said that word you used earlier about wanting a witness.
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 2: That's definitely something that resonates with me in a very
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: extreme way. And so I'm wanting to find people who
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 2: fit with me this year. Okay.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 1: I love that. That's probably mine as well. That's what
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: I would love. I think a lot of people are
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 1: looking for their tribe. And it's not about just wishing it.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: It's about making it happen and finding the right people
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: you can trust and that trust you. So I wish
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: you the best of luck with that. Where can people
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: find you and get all the information on Teal Swamp?
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm on every single social media platform. The best
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 2: way to find me is tealswan.com though, because that website
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: is just, it's an amalgamation of all of my work.
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 2: So it's very easy to navigate that site and figure
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 2: out where to watch the videos, where to look at
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 2: the products, where my next events are. It's like everything
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: is just smashing one.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: And you have some upcoming events, correct?
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm actually leaving tomorrow back down to my retreat
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: center in Costa Rica because I'm hosting a curveball retreat.
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 2: After that, I'm going to be in Austin, Texas, I believe.
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: And then after that, I'm going to be doing a
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 2: Canadian tour. I don't even know the rest of them,
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 2: but yeah, I've got like a pretty loaded schedule with
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 2: all kinds of things that are available to the public.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: Amazing. Well, you guys should check out her website. It
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 1: has all the dates there and all the different topics
• 1:19:57
  Speaker 1: she'll be covering. Teal, thank you so much for joining me.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: It was such a pleasure talking to you. I really
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: wish you the best.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 2: It was a pleasure being understood.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to Misunderstood. I'm your host,
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: Rachel Yucatel. Please be sure to subscribe to the show
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: and give us a five-star rating and review. You can
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 1: support the show by joining our Patreon at patreon.com slash
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 1: misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel. Do you have ideas for the
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 1: show or want to reach out? Email us at infomisunderstoodpodcast
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: at gmail.com. That's spelled M-I-S-S understood. Thank you so much,
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: and I'll see you next time.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 2: Very good at interviewing.
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. Thank you.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 2: At this point.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I know you're obviously good at giving the answers,
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: but no, I mean, listen, when you're genuinely interested in,
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: in the person and the topic, I, I actually love
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: interviewing people that most of the people I interview are controversial,
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: you know, but I come into it with a position
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: of like completely neutral and I want to hear their
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: story and almost a hundred, not a hundred percent of
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: the time, but most of the time I get it.
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I like this person. This is really interesting. And, um, No,
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 1: and stuff that I was listening to last night, I
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: was like, she obviously makes a lot of sense. These
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: people are fucking idiots. So like, sorry for my language,
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: but I just, you know, I, I have no, you know,
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: I'm not a spiritual person and I don't, I haven't
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 1: found that level in my life yet, although I definitely
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 1: need it. I just, I'm a little resistant to it
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: because of the stuff I've been through. And I, you know,
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 1: I don't know how much, you know, Zach had told you,
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 1: but I was engaged to somebody who was killed in
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: the world trade center and And it's, you know, I'm
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 1: stuck still on it. And I feel that, um, you know,
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not into anyone who's religious because I feel like
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 1: religion had a lot to do with that, you know? So, um,
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just, I, I have never recovered
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 1: from that. I mean, I was 26 when that happened
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 1: and it still is something that it's in my bones,
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: you know, I can't get rid of that. So even
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 1: though so much healing I've done and talking I've done, um, Anyway,
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: so it's interesting to sit with someone like you who
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: I know heals people in situations like that, and it's
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: something that I eventually in my life will need to
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 1: get to, I think.
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 2: Well, if you want to get there with me, you
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 2: know where to find me.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you so much. But anyways, it was
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: an honor to speak to you, and I do wish
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 1: you the best.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish you the best, too. It was wonderful.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 2: See you.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to Misunderstood.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Rachel Yucatel. Please be sure to subscribe
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: to the show and give us a five-star rating and review.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 1: You can support the show by joining our Patreon at patreon.com
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: slash misunderstood with Rachel Yucatel. Do you have ideas for
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 1: the show or want to reach out? Email us at
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: infomisunderstoodpodcast at gmail.com. That's spelled M-I-S-S understood. Thank you so much,
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: and I'll see you next time.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 4: Don't miss a minute of United Soccer League action. The
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 4: USL Championship and USL League One are on CBS Sports
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 4: and ESPN platforms. all season long with additional coverage on
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 4: Sirius XMFC channel 188 and select matches available in Spanish
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 4: on 2DNA. It's your time to take part in building
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 4: what's next. Visit uslchampionship.com or uslleague1. com for complete listings. Find
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 4: your local club and be part of what's next.