Latest / Making The Impact - A Dance Competition Podcast / When Your Student is Also Your Child - The Journey as a Dance Teacher & Parent

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When Your Student is Also Your Child - The Journey as a Dance Teacher & Parent · Making The Impact - A Dance Competition Podcast

0:07
SPEAKER_06: Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the table at a dance competition?
0:10
SPEAKER_06: Exactly what are the judges looking for anyway?
0:13
SPEAKER_06: This is Making the Impact, a dance competition podcast.
0:15
SPEAKER_06: Each week we'll cover a different topic related to the world of competitive dance from the perspective of the judges behind the table.
0:26
SPEAKER_06: Many dance teachers say that their dancers are like their children, but sometimes they really are their children.
0:31
SPEAKER_06: In today's episode of Making the Impact, we explore what it's like to be a dance teacher with a child on the team.
0:36
SPEAKER_06: Is anyone getting special treatment?
0:38
SPEAKER_06: Is it a joy or a drag to teach your own child?
0:41
SPEAKER_06: We've got the answers you're looking for.
0:44
SPEAKER_03: Hello, dance world.
0:46
SPEAKER_03: Welcome to this week's episode of Making the Impact.
0:49
SPEAKER_03: I'm your host, Courtney Ortiz, and I'm here with my co-host, Leslie Mueller.
0:53
SPEAKER_06: Hey Courtney, hey listeners.
0:54
SPEAKER_06: Happy early Valentine's Day to everyone.
0:57
SPEAKER_03: Yay! Valentine's Day.
0:59
SPEAKER_03: We love it.
1:00
SPEAKER_03: I hope your day is filled with love, filled with sweethearts.
1:04
SPEAKER_03: I love those little sweethearts.
1:06
SPEAKER_03: The white ones are my favorite.
1:08
SPEAKER_03: I don't know why.
1:10
SPEAKER_06: Do you think they taste different?
1:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they do.
1:12
SPEAKER_03: The white ones.
1:13
SPEAKER_06: The white ones.
1:14
SPEAKER_06: I like the white ones.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:16
SPEAKER_03: And like the pink ones have a little strawberry feel to it.
1:18
SPEAKER_03: The white ones, I don't know.
1:20
SPEAKER_03: What are they doing?
1:21
SPEAKER_03: There's like a mint.
1:21
SPEAKER_06: There's like a mint feeling.
1:23
SPEAKER_06: You know, it's like a hint of mint.
1:25
SPEAKER_06: Oh, I like them so much.
1:26
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
1:27
SPEAKER_06: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.
1:28
SPEAKER_06: We hope you are with your loved ones.
1:31
SPEAKER_06: And yeah, it's just a nice, it's a nice middle of the winter holiday, I think, to just feel warm, fuzzy feelings.
1:39
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: And we are in competition season, everyone.
1:44
SPEAKER_03: So I hope that you are enjoying it.
1:47
SPEAKER_03: Stay tuned to start hearing some of our Making the Impact Award winners at IDA affiliated competition events coming soon to our podcast.
1:56
SPEAKER_03: If you are a recipient of the Making the Impact Award, you will hear your studio shout it out on the podcast very soon.
2:04
SPEAKER_03: So if you do receive it, don't forget to register your award, scan the QR code on the back of it or visit the website listed.
2:11
SPEAKER_03: And we can't wait to give you a shout out.
2:13
SPEAKER_03: I can't wait to see who wins the award this season.
2:16
SPEAKER_06: Yep, it's it's time.
2:17
SPEAKER_06: We are smack in the middle of the season, or at the beginning, I guess I should say, for most people.
2:21
SPEAKER_06: But, you know, this is a fun episode that we have for you today because it's got a little bit of a family feel to it.
2:28
SPEAKER_06: It's talking about dance teachers who have children on the team or at the studio.
2:33
SPEAKER_06: So that's a a topic near and dear to my heart as I am a studio owner's daughter.
2:38
SPEAKER_06: Um I'm so excited to just sort of talk it all out with some really awesome guests today.
2:42
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
2:43
SPEAKER_03: And before we jump into this episode, let's hear from our wonderful sponsors.
2:51
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3:05
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3:12
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3:23
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3:31
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3:36
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3:46
SPEAKER_03: I'll even be attending and teaching this year at the Dance Teacher Web Conference and would love to see you there.
3:51
SPEAKER_03: With extended access to their event app, you'll have the luxury of revisiting sessions and notes long after the conference ends.
3:58
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4:09
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4:16
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4:18
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4:29
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4:33
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4:45
SPEAKER_03: Elevate your studio's annual showcase with a recital welcome soundtrack from Squirrel Trench Audio.
4:51
SPEAKER_03: Studio owners, as you know, your annual recital is the one time you have the attention of all of your dance families.
4:59
SPEAKER_03: Most recital audience members have no idea what to expect, so make them feel comfortable by welcoming them and thanking them for being there.
5:06
SPEAKER_03: Customized recital welcome soundtracks from Squirrel Trench Audio include your studio's name, theme, theater rules, promos, and graduating seniors.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: Speaking of themes, recital welcome soundtracks use voiceover talent, music, and sound effects to delightfully set the stage for the theme you've been working on all year.
5:24
SPEAKER_03: Just some of last year's themes were movies, colors, jukebox, circus, travel, page to stage, night at the museum, and they are all available with no theme as well.
5:34
SPEAKER_03: Studio owners, audiences, and dancers are all delighted when their recital starts with a Squirrel Trench audio welcome soundtrack.
5:42
SPEAKER_03: Visit their website to listen to examples and learn more at squirrel trench.com or click the link in our show notes.
5:49
SPEAKER_03: Dance Parent.
5:50
SPEAKER_03: If your studio doesn't yet use a Squirrel Trench Recital Welcome Soundtrack, you can gift your studio one with a gift certificate from their website.
5:58
SPEAKER_03: Set the stage for your most amazing show yet with the welcome soundtrack from Squirrel Trench Audio.
6:05
SPEAKER_03: Hey everyone! We are jumping in to this week's episode.
6:10
SPEAKER_03: And this is gonna be a fun one that I truly cannot contribute to at all.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: So I'm going to be sitting here doing a lot of the qu asking a lot of the questions and taking in all of this information because we're talking all about when you are a dance teacher teaching your own child at your studio.
6:28
SPEAKER_03: And I'm sure that there are a lot of dance teachers that can relate to this.
6:31
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure there are a lot of dance parents that may feel frustrated because the studio owner kid gets everything and is always front and center and has 20 million dances.
6:42
SPEAKER_03: Or maybe that's not necessarily true.
6:44
SPEAKER_03: Maybe that's not really what goes down when you are the studio owner or the dance teacher's kid.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: And we have two brand new guests joining us today on Making the Impact and also podcast fans that are here as well.
6:57
SPEAKER_03: The very first guest that I'm excited to welcome, I'm meeting for the very first time.
7:02
SPEAKER_03: They are a fan of our podcast and expressed interest in speaking on this topic as a former studio owner and now a dance teacher of an eight-year-old.
7:10
SPEAKER_03: I'm very excited to welcome Andrea Zorelli to the podcast.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: Welcome, Andrea.
7:15
SPEAKER_04: Hello, I'm so excited to be here.
7:16
SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Courtney.
7:17
SPEAKER_04: Thank you, Leslie.
7:18
SPEAKER_03: Yay, and thanks for listening.
7:20
SPEAKER_03: And I'm excited to like learn more about you and hear about your dance journey.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: So share with us and all of the listeners out there more about you.
7:28
SPEAKER_04: Well, I started my dance training at three years old, like many of us did, and I actually danced at a concert dance studio and had no part of the competition dance world at all.
7:39
SPEAKER_04: I did compete in baton twirling for years, so I definitely come from that aspect of competing and performing and working toward excellence and all of that.
7:48
SPEAKER_04: I began taking my dance more seriously in high school and majored in dance at Western Michigan University.
7:54
SPEAKER_04: I actually dropped out of school to become co-owner of the studio that I trained at.
7:59
SPEAKER_04: It was fantastic.
8:01
SPEAKER_04: It was such a great learning experience.
8:02
SPEAKER_04: I think I learned more in that time than I did in a month in the university setting, honestly.
8:08
SPEAKER_04: We closed our studio during the recession and I continued teaching at a couple of different studios in the area.
8:15
SPEAKER_04: And eventually, about 11 years ago, I settled on the studio that I'm currently at where my daughter is on the competition team.
8:23
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
8:24
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's awesome.
8:25
SPEAKER_04: And did you mention that you're in Michigan?
8:27
SPEAKER_04: Did I?
8:27
SPEAKER_04: I am.
8:27
SPEAKER_04: I'm in Kalamazoo, Michigan.
8:29
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
8:30
SPEAKER_03: Awesome.
8:31
SPEAKER_03: Woo! There's some Michigan has some fierce dance studios.
8:34
SPEAKER_03: It's a great place.
8:35
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
8:36
SPEAKER_03: Y'all are training dancers right up there, up in the cold.
8:39
SPEAKER_03: So awesome.
8:40
SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm in I can't wait to hear uh how this has been for you as a former studio owner and teaching your dancer now.
8:47
SPEAKER_03: So thanks for joining us on this chat.
8:50
SPEAKER_03: All right.
8:50
SPEAKER_03: Our next special guest is someone who I've met a few years back.
8:54
SPEAKER_03: I actually had the opportunity to work with their dancers at their studio, set some guest choreography.
9:01
SPEAKER_03: It was such a blast.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: And I'm so happy to welcome them here on the podcast because they are not only us a current studio owner and dance parent who's who have now had their kids graduate out of the studio, and now they have dance grandbabies at the studio.
9:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh my goodness.
9:19
SPEAKER_03: So this so experienced on this topic.
9:22
SPEAKER_03: I am so happy to welcome Lori Fields to our podcast.
9:25
SPEAKER_03: Welcome, Lori.
9:27
SPEAKER_07: Thank you.
9:27
SPEAKER_07: Thank you guys so much for including me.
9:30
SPEAKER_07: It has been a wonderful 30 years as a studio owner.
9:34
SPEAKER_07: This is season 30 for us, and we're really excited about that.
9:38
SPEAKER_07: But yes, I had two daughters, very different personalities, grow up as competitive dancers through my studio.
9:45
SPEAKER_07: And now I have my two grandkids who are competitive dancers.
9:49
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh, that is so exciting.
9:51
SPEAKER_03: Well, can't wait to hear more about that.
9:53
SPEAKER_03: And could you share even a little bit more how you got into dance, where you grew up, where you trained, when you said 30 years in your studio, but how why you decided to start a studio and any other things you'd like to share about your current studio life?
10:07
SPEAKER_07: Sure.
10:08
SPEAKER_07: I started the dance journey a little later than most people.
10:13
SPEAKER_07: I didn't actually start dancing until I was eighth grade.
10:17
SPEAKER_07: So a little older than the majority.
10:20
SPEAKER_07: I had taken classes younger, but then fell in love with it immediately.
10:26
SPEAKER_07: And I was a dance major at UNCG.
10:30
SPEAKER_07: I also did the Dance Educators of American Training School in New York City, which I loved.
10:35
SPEAKER_07: And I taught at two very different studios, but then I took what I learned from each one and opened my own 30 years ago.
10:45
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
10:45
SPEAKER_03: That's awesome.
10:47
SPEAKER_03: Amazing.
10:47
SPEAKER_03: Well, let's jump into this fantastic chat.
10:51
SPEAKER_03: I can't wait to learn from y'all.
10:52
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
10:53
SPEAKER_06: Oh man, this is gonna be so much fun because as most of our listeners know, I am the child of a studio owner.
10:58
SPEAKER_06: So we've got a lot of perspectives on here.
11:00
SPEAKER_06: So Courtney, just get ready for a wild ride because it is it is a journey.
11:05
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure there are stories.
11:08
SPEAKER_06: There are.
11:09
SPEAKER_06: So I guess maybe let's start with the decision for both of you.
11:14
SPEAKER_06: And maybe this wasn't even really a decision, it was just what it was going to be.
11:17
SPEAKER_06: Maybe you didn't have a choice, but why was your child uh taking class at your studio?
11:22
SPEAKER_06: Did you have the decision?
11:24
SPEAKER_06: Did you make the decision to do that on purpose, or did you have an opportunity to let them go elsewhere?
11:28
SPEAKER_06: Like how did that evolve for you?
11:31
SPEAKER_04: I absolutely knew that I wanted my daughter to start with the whole like my parent in me class at the studio that I've been working at.
11:38
SPEAKER_04: I knew who the teachers were going to be and I felt comfortable with all of it.
11:42
SPEAKER_04: And I mean, we would do my class plans because I would teach some of the preschool classes at home, especially during the pandemic when we were just home, and she would eat it up.
11:52
SPEAKER_04: So I knew that this was something she was gonna love.
11:54
SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's awesome.
11:56
SPEAKER_07: With my kids, they were always in the studio.
12:00
SPEAKER_07: They grew up there.
12:01
SPEAKER_07: It was a little difficult at times when they were younger to separate from being able to be in the studio and run around and just have fun to it's class time now.
12:10
SPEAKER_07: It's time, you know, for you to pay attention and listen and that type of thing.
12:15
SPEAKER_07: So I think it does take a little bit of getting used to for the kids to go change, you know, directives.
12:22
SPEAKER_07: But I also always encouraged my kids as they were older, if an opportunity came along at another studio, they were bringing in a guest instructor, go take class, go learn.
12:33
SPEAKER_07: You know, you can learn as much as possible.
12:36
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
12:37
SPEAKER_06: Andrea, do you feel like that once your daughter gets a little older, are you gonna allow her to go elsewhere also if she wants, or is do you feel like there might come a time where she's gonna need to go elsewhere?
12:46
SPEAKER_04: I've generally been following her lead with everything, even though I come at it with different knowledge than she has, obviously.
12:52
SPEAKER_04: Sure.
12:53
SPEAKER_04: But I don't see her wanting to make that choice, especially because we bring in guest teachers all of the time.
12:59
SPEAKER_04: We did two conventions last year, so she has opportunities to be taking from other people.
13:03
SPEAKER_04: And I only teach one of her technique classes.
13:06
SPEAKER_04: I teach her jazz class.
13:07
SPEAKER_04: So she gets to take from all different people.
13:10
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
13:10
SPEAKER_06: How do you experience her in class?
13:12
SPEAKER_06: Is she good at like separating mom from Miss Andrea?
13:17
SPEAKER_04: I think it has taken some time.
13:19
SPEAKER_04: I think we finally settled into a pretty good groove last year.
13:22
SPEAKER_04: I was her ballet teacher, one of her ballet teachers, she took two classes, and I can kind of just look at her.
13:28
SPEAKER_04: I don't have to take away time from the class.
13:30
SPEAKER_04: I give her the look and she knows.
13:32
SPEAKER_06: She immediately knows what the look means.
13:34
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
13:34
SPEAKER_04: And we can have those discussions after class.
13:36
SPEAKER_04: I generally don't go into it too much in class.
13:39
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
13:39
SPEAKER_04: Nobody needs to waste that time.
13:42
SPEAKER_03: What about you, Lori?
13:43
SPEAKER_03: Do do you did you teach your own kids their entire career as a dancer?
13:49
SPEAKER_07: Yes, they also we have multiple teachers at our studio.
13:53
SPEAKER_07: So I also had the opportunity to learn from other people.
13:56
SPEAKER_07: But I was always their teacher as well, like for for at least one class.
14:02
SPEAKER_07: And it there are times that it's difficult being the mom and the teacher.
14:07
SPEAKER_07: I do think it's important to let your kids have a voice, but when they're being disrespectful, whether it's to you or another teacher, they need to know that's unacceptable.
14:18
SPEAKER_07: And a lot of times the car ride home would be, hey, let's talk about what happened in class today.
14:24
SPEAKER_04: 100%.
14:25
SPEAKER_04: I love that car ride home.
14:26
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
14:28
SPEAKER_07: And you, you know, I think it's important too, from my point as a studio owner, that my kids always knew these are our customers, these are clients.
14:38
SPEAKER_07: They are paying me to teach class.
14:41
SPEAKER_07: And I cannot spend our time in class arguing with you.
14:45
SPEAKER_07: It's, you know, you have to respect that and realize this is our livelihood.
14:50
SPEAKER_07: And I think having those conversations with kids helps them to understand too the and I think it would be that way with any business.
14:59
SPEAKER_07: You know, if you own a restaurant, you're not going to allow your children to run around the restaurant.
15:03
SPEAKER_07: So any business, I think where, you know, kids need to understand that these are clients.
15:10
SPEAKER_06: I was gonna say, do you feel the same?
15:11
SPEAKER_06: Like how how is the difference between your your daughters and then your grandchildren?
15:17
SPEAKER_06: Does that feel any different?
15:18
SPEAKER_06: And it and how I'm curious too, you know, if you've had your studio for 30 years, you had children, and now you have teenagers as grandchildren, what are the main differences you've seen with like how that interaction has changed over the years?
15:31
SPEAKER_07: I think the biggest change is social media.
15:36
SPEAKER_07: And, you know, it used to be if my older daughter didn't get invited to a birthday party, her feelings might have been hurt.
15:42
SPEAKER_07: She didn't get invited.
15:44
SPEAKER_07: Now, and even with my my younger daughter, with social media, they know immediately.
15:50
SPEAKER_07: They're getting messages, they're getting pictures of what's happening, the things they're being left out of.
15:56
SPEAKER_07: So I think it's much harder with that aspect of it.
16:02
SPEAKER_07: You know, that you know immediately what's happening.
16:05
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
16:05
SPEAKER_06: And that sounds like it's across the board with everyone.
16:07
SPEAKER_06: I agree.
16:08
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
16:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think that the point that you made, Lori, about how it's a business and uh you are the owner of that business.
16:16
SPEAKER_03: I think that there's even more of that pressure when it is the studio owner's kid versus just the dance teacher's kid.
16:22
SPEAKER_03: Like, yes, the dance teacher is working for the studio owner, but they're they might feel less pressure in the sense that it's this is just my job and I'm working for this person and this is my kid and D D D D D versus the studio owner that's like, okay, this is my actual business.
16:40
SPEAKER_03: Like this is an entire reflection of me.
16:42
SPEAKER_03: And everyone's looking at me and my kids versus just another teacher and their kids.
16:48
SPEAKER_03: And Andrea, do you feel like that you've been on both sides now, actually, but you weren't teaching your kid when your studio was open.
16:55
SPEAKER_03: Is that true?
16:56
SPEAKER_04: That is very true.
16:57
SPEAKER_04: And I think that I tend to come to any issue at the studio from that studio owner mindset versus just being some contractor that came in.
17:07
SPEAKER_04: I understand that if some kid is acting out in my class and we have a potential client that comes in and they look into the room and here's this girl pushing, shoving, being crazy, they may not want to come to the studio.
17:18
SPEAKER_04: They may not want to come and sign up.
17:19
SPEAKER_04: And I mean, I explain that to all of my students, but definitely to my daughter.
17:23
SPEAKER_04: And she's very much aware that she is basically advertising for the studio at all times.
17:29
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
17:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:30
SPEAKER_03: And I'm sure that's hard for young dancers to wrap their head around to even like we've already talked about separating mom from teacher and knowing how to cross over there and risk be respectful on both sides.
17:42
SPEAKER_03: But then the business aspect of how that all comes into play is probably like mind-blowing for these kids to wrap their head around.
17:49
SPEAKER_03: Leslie, what about you?
17:51
SPEAKER_03: What would what was your experience like as a kid growing up at your mom's studio?
17:56
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, I mean, I remember vividly being just constantly there.
18:00
SPEAKER_06: We had like a little storage room in the back.
18:02
SPEAKER_06: When I was really young, we only had one room.
18:04
SPEAKER_06: So there was a storage room in the back, and that is where we did our homework.
18:07
SPEAKER_06: Me and my sister, if you had a migraine, you're in the back room, like you're taking your nap back there, there's a palette, like whatever.
18:13
SPEAKER_06: But I do remember, and this is true to this day, that like if I need my mom's attention, I don't say hey mom, I say hey, Miss Brenda, because Miss Brenda gets her attention.
18:22
SPEAKER_06: She's Miss Brenda to literally everybody, including my dad, when he wants her attention.
18:27
SPEAKER_06: Like there's there's just no mom or Brenda.
18:29
SPEAKER_06: It's Miss Brenda because that's just the majority of the people in her life, that is who she is.
18:33
SPEAKER_06: You know, there's only there's only the three of us in her family, but then there's a hundred kids and you know, parents and stuff.
18:39
SPEAKER_06: So, you know, I always I definitely felt like I got my sister and I got less special treatment than I think anybody thought we did.
18:48
SPEAKER_06: Like, you know, we we were always there, yes.
18:50
SPEAKER_06: But that also meant, well, I'm rolling up the floor at the end of recital.
18:54
SPEAKER_06: I'm pulling up the tape at the end of recital.
18:56
SPEAKER_06: Like we're cleaning the studio.
18:57
SPEAKER_06: We didn't get special treatment, we got additional jobs to do.
19:02
SPEAKER_06: So yeah, that was that's some of my main memories is just we we always had a lot to do, you know, because it was just her for a while and one or two other teachers.
19:11
SPEAKER_06: And, you know, we were we were built in extra help.
19:14
SPEAKER_03: I'm curious to know if that sounds similar to the experiences of your kids um at any point so far in there.
19:23
SPEAKER_03: I know Lori, your kids have grown and gone, but is that relatable?
19:27
SPEAKER_07: Oh, it's so relatable.
19:28
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
19:29
SPEAKER_07: I mean, totally, you know, everything from cleaning the bathrooms if it has to be done.
19:35
SPEAKER_07: Like you do what you you know, you do what needs to be done.
19:37
SPEAKER_07: So family business running.
19:39
SPEAKER_07: Exactly.
19:40
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
19:41
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
19:42
SPEAKER_04: My daughter, yesterday we had I work at Mosaic Dance Center in Portage, Michigan.
19:46
SPEAKER_04: We had our team hair and makeup day getting ready for competition season, and it was only for new members.
19:53
SPEAKER_04: And my daughter had to come with me and be my little model for two hours as I go through all of the different hairstyles and teaching people how to put on lashes.
20:04
SPEAKER_04: So she had to sit there and be patient and kind of work too.
20:07
SPEAKER_06: I will say the one thing the one one of the perks that I remember and really loving this perk, and everybody was very jealous, is that we at our house got the costume catalogs.
20:16
SPEAKER_06: So we got to look at them first.
20:18
SPEAKER_06: And like, I don't know whether my mom really took our, you know, opinions, but we were the ones who said, well, that would be good for this dance, and that would be good for this dance.
20:25
SPEAKER_06: And I think people, because nobody ever got to see the book.
20:28
SPEAKER_06: You only got to see the final poster, you know, at the studio with all the different costumes that were chosen.
20:33
SPEAKER_06: So that was always fun to get to see the book first.
20:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, perks of being the studio owner's kid, for sure.
20:40
SPEAKER_03: You hinted at this a little bit, Leslie, and I'm sure that this is one of the most common things that people think about is the favoritism when it comes to teaching your own kid, or even not even just teaching your own kid, but let's say that um if you're a studio owner and uh there's a teacher that has a kid, is that kid favored more uh at the studio and from an outside perspective of everyone else, all the other parents?
21:06
SPEAKER_03: Well, they're the studio owner's kids, so they're getting this and they're getting that.
21:11
SPEAKER_03: Do you feel that pressure?
21:13
SPEAKER_03: Do you hear those things happening?
21:15
SPEAKER_03: Have have you share any experiences or thoughts on that?
21:19
SPEAKER_07: It has definitely happened.
21:21
SPEAKER_07: And it happened with the oldest, with the youngest, and with my granddaughters.
21:25
SPEAKER_07: It's it's and I think it always will.
21:27
SPEAKER_07: And I think, you know, there's some envy because they do get to take as many classes as they'd like, and other kids wish they could do that.
21:35
SPEAKER_07: One thing that I've tried to do through the years that helps is let's say we're doing a hard turn topic.
21:43
SPEAKER_07: As teachers, we generally know who in the classroom can do those, right?
21:47
SPEAKER_07: But I'll say, hey, let me see everybody try this, or if you think you would like to, you know, be in this featured section, come forward.
21:55
SPEAKER_07: So everyone in the room can see, and then if my Child is the one that gets chosen for the part, then everybody can say, yeah, she nailed them.
22:04
SPEAKER_07: She deserved it.
22:05
SPEAKER_07: If I bring in an outside choreographer, I do not tell them that my daughter's in the classroom.
22:12
SPEAKER_07: That way anything she's chosen for, she earned.
22:15
SPEAKER_07: It was not because they knew ahead of time, oh, well, you know, that's the studio and her daughter.
22:21
SPEAKER_07: So I try to make everything as fair as possible.
22:25
SPEAKER_07: Any type of auditions, it's not just me making the choice.
22:29
SPEAKER_07: There are other teachers involved so that we make sure that the best student earns the part, whether that be recently it was my granddaughter.
22:38
SPEAKER_07: She was just the late in our our Christmas production.
22:41
SPEAKER_07: But, you know, I said it wasn't just me making those decisions.
22:44
SPEAKER_07: It was a group effort from the staff.
22:47
SPEAKER_04: I think one thing that makes people think maybe this child is being favored is just the fact that the staff is very familiar with that child.
22:58
SPEAKER_04: Doesn't necessarily mean that they're a favorite, but they have a relationship there because, you know, this child was there.
23:04
SPEAKER_04: I had my baby shower at the studio.
23:06
SPEAKER_04: Like she was there before she was born.
23:07
SPEAKER_04: She was there all of the time.
23:09
SPEAKER_04: So people are very familiar with her.
23:11
SPEAKER_04: Does that mean that she's getting the lead in every single dance?
23:14
SPEAKER_04: Nope.
23:15
SPEAKER_04: Definitely not, not at all.
23:17
SPEAKER_04: But if she does get a featured part, it's very important that she actually earns it and keeps it up.
23:22
SPEAKER_04: Like if you make a mistake, people are going to say, Why did she get that part?
23:26
SPEAKER_04: She can't even do it.
23:28
SPEAKER_04: Like you have to work, I would say, even harder just to maintain all of that to make sure that it does come across as being fair.
23:35
SPEAKER_06: Right.
23:36
SPEAKER_06: Well, and I think too, another thing that, and I don't know whether this is widespread or not, but like in my case, and and my sisters, my sister was also a very good dancer.
23:44
SPEAKER_06: We were really good because we were there all the time.
23:47
SPEAKER_06: And, you know, if if we were terrible and we still got a f a lead, that would be a whole nother story, you know.
23:53
SPEAKER_06: But like we were, we were the talent, some of the talented ones, the ones who, you know, had the drive and the discipline to to be better.
23:59
SPEAKER_06: And maybe that was part of the pressure of knowing, okay, well, I'm a studio owner's kid.
24:03
SPEAKER_06: I have to, I have to be good.
24:05
SPEAKER_06: So, you know, it sometimes I think that is the case.
24:08
SPEAKER_06: Now, when you're the studio owner's kid and you're not so good, like maybe, maybe it's time to go home and do something different, you know, if you don't love it either.
24:16
SPEAKER_06: That was that's always also kind of the problem I see.
24:18
SPEAKER_06: Sometimes there are studio owners' kids that I've encountered that just hate it.
24:22
SPEAKER_06: Man, they hate it.
24:23
SPEAKER_06: They don't want to be there, but somebody's forcing them to be there.
24:25
SPEAKER_06: And then that that creates a the whole like toxic, you know, environment too.
24:34
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25:03
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25:50
SPEAKER_03: I can tell as a judge on stage, and then I later find out, oh, that's the studio owner's kid.
25:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, they looked absolutely miserable on stage.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: Like they wanted nothing to do with this.
26:02
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm like, make sure you're enjoying it.
26:04
SPEAKER_03: And on the judge's critique, you know, and like giving like what my initial reaction is as an outside viewer, and then like come to find out, oh, that's the studio owner's kid.
26:13
SPEAKER_03: It's like, okay, well, sometimes you can really feel the energy of a child and if they're actually enjoying this activity or not, or if they're being pressured into doing it just because it is accessible to them and that's what mom, you know, that's mom's career, and my my kid needs to have an extracurricular activity, and it keeps them in shape and it's fun and keeps teaches them coordination, but is their heart really in it?
26:35
SPEAKER_03: And I think that there's we we've definitely seen, and there's probably a lot of listeners that are like, yep, I know that, I know that studio owner kid, or I know that dance teacher's kid that just doesn't want to do it, but then they still get favored or they don't, they don't put the work in and they still get the reward, you know, and I think that is the hard thing to see on the outside.
26:55
SPEAKER_03: But one of the things that I loved that both of you said is that that the kids have to earn it.
27:00
SPEAKER_03: Your kids have to earn it.
27:02
SPEAKER_03: And I think that's what's hard for a lot of parents who don't see what goes on in the casting process, who don't see what goes on in an audition or in a rehearsal when it says, okay, everybody show me your best turn sequence, and every other kid isn't up to par with this dancer who just happens to be the studio owner's kid.
27:23
SPEAKER_03: That's just how the cards were dealt because they've put the work in.
27:27
SPEAKER_03: And and I don't know, maybe there are instances where in those auditions, it's not the studio owner's kid that that succeeds, like we've kind of shared.
27:35
SPEAKER_03: Like it j I just don't think that parents n see all of that because they just see the final product of there's the dance and they're doing the feature.
27:43
SPEAKER_03: And why are they doing the feature?
27:45
SPEAKER_03: Why is it my kid doing the feature?
27:46
SPEAKER_03: Well, they earned that feature, hopefully.
27:49
SPEAKER_06: I want to understand, because that I had this situation at some point, and I want to know how y'all have navigated it if you had in the in the past.
27:58
SPEAKER_06: Have you had any times where it's it's been just really challenging to get your child to respond to a correction from you, but you can tell they respond to it better from someone else?
28:09
SPEAKER_06: Like maybe you're having an off day with your child.
28:12
SPEAKER_06: Had does that happen?
28:13
SPEAKER_06: How do you navigate that?
28:14
SPEAKER_06: And have you found it helpful to just say, you're going to that class right now?
28:18
SPEAKER_06: Thank you so much.
28:20
SPEAKER_07: I have had that situation.
28:22
SPEAKER_07: And the way I would handle it, especially with my youngest daughter when she was in her teenage years, I would tell another teacher, I would say, hey, she's doing this.
28:34
SPEAKER_07: I see it every week.
28:35
SPEAKER_07: You tell her because it'll grow better from you.
28:38
SPEAKER_07: So yes, there are times I just totally pass it off to another teacher.
28:43
SPEAKER_04: I haven't had too much of a struggle with that.
28:45
SPEAKER_04: I think my daughter loves all of this more than I do, honestly.
28:49
SPEAKER_04: She's 100% all in.
28:51
SPEAKER_04: If she she's upstairs on a snow day right now, playing and she could be at the studio.
28:55
SPEAKER_04: If I told her we're gonna go to the studio, she would jump right in and be so excited to go.
28:59
SPEAKER_04: Oh.
29:00
SPEAKER_04: But I assume as she gets older and becomes a teenager, just like you said, Lori, there's going to be some struggles.
29:08
SPEAKER_04: But I'm hoping that by putting in some solid foundation now on how to manage our feelings, how to manage different situations when it comes to dance and all of that, that she'll be prepared when the time comes.
29:21
SPEAKER_04: That's great.
29:22
SPEAKER_06: Lori, are either of your oldest still in the dance world at all?
29:26
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
29:26
SPEAKER_07: My oldest daughter, Michelle, is my admin assistant, which is fabulous.
29:30
SPEAKER_07: So she actually works kind of behind the scenes at the studio.
29:34
SPEAKER_07: And then my daughter, Cassidy, is a performer.
29:37
SPEAKER_07: She works in Pitch and Porch, Tennessee for a variety show there.
29:41
SPEAKER_06: How fun.
29:42
SPEAKER_06: What about that?
29:43
SPEAKER_07: That's awesome.
29:44
SPEAKER_03: Keep and dance in their life.
29:46
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
29:46
SPEAKER_06: One of the things that I really appreciated about being Studio Owner's daughter is that I was able to start teaching and like co-teaching when I was in high school.
29:55
SPEAKER_06: And I went to college for dance and I was in all my ped classes, and I was really, really good at it because I had watched my mom teach forever.
30:02
SPEAKER_06: Do you feel like your kids are getting that knowledge as they go?
30:07
SPEAKER_06: Because I really felt like I did, and I was always complimented in the ped classes of wow, like you're so how why are you so good at this?
30:13
SPEAKER_06: It's like, well, I watched my mom for years.
30:16
SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
30:16
SPEAKER_04: My daughter is an assistant in one of my, let's see, how old are those kids?
30:20
SPEAKER_04: I think they're about five years old, five and six years old.
30:24
SPEAKER_04: And she comes in and she helps.
30:25
SPEAKER_04: She, and it's a big class.
30:27
SPEAKER_04: I think I have 15 in there.
30:28
SPEAKER_04: Oh wow.
30:28
SPEAKER_04: It's a little pre-ballet class.
30:30
SPEAKER_04: And she comes in and she helps them out and kind of helps everybody find their place.
30:34
SPEAKER_04: And she's learning about redirecting when somebody is kind of trying to do something else.
30:39
SPEAKER_04: She knows she understands that these classes are planned.
30:42
SPEAKER_04: Like I have notes, I have prepared ahead of time how to structure a class and all of that.
30:47
SPEAKER_04: So I'm hoping she uh is taking it all in.
30:51
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, that's awesome.
30:52
SPEAKER_07: Yes, I agree 100%.
30:54
SPEAKER_07: And the other thing that I noticed as my kids were growing up, when they would do other activities, they would step up and say, the teacher didn't introduce herself to us.
31:04
SPEAKER_07: She didn't, you know, so they carry it over into other things as well, not just dance classes.
31:12
SPEAKER_07: But yes, they 100% know how things are typically run, what to expect when they're in, like I said, even other situations.
31:21
SPEAKER_07: That's great.
31:22
SPEAKER_03: I'm curious to know if it's difficult to separate the dance mom in you to the dance teacher in you.
31:30
SPEAKER_03: Because we hear a lot about dance moms requiring their kids to rehearse at home or being on them about this, and why aren't you stretching and why aren't you practicing after class?
31:43
SPEAKER_03: And you often are also teaching your kids in class, but then you come home.
31:48
SPEAKER_03: And are you still in the dance mom spirit?
31:51
SPEAKER_03: And are you still monitoring your kids to say, hey, did you practice your solo tonight?
31:55
SPEAKER_03: Or are you trust is there more trust there because you're the teacher and you're training them?
32:00
SPEAKER_03: I'm curious to hear what that balance is like for you.
32:03
SPEAKER_04: We absolutely do practice at home.
32:05
SPEAKER_04: I think finding the balance has been a journey for us.
32:08
SPEAKER_04: We started out very casual, very low-key because she was so young, even though she did do a solo, started learning it at four years old.
32:15
SPEAKER_04: Wow.
32:16
SPEAKER_04: Where we were very casual and she just took like two classes, but she loved it.
32:19
SPEAKER_04: And then it started to get a little bit more intense, and we would see the things on Instagram just like all of the other parents, and see these little teeny tiny kids that are absolutely amazing.
32:30
SPEAKER_04: And we kind of went a little too far with her, I think.
32:33
SPEAKER_04: I think we were doing like nine different classes at one point.
32:37
SPEAKER_04: And she was happy when she was there, but I could see like why, like, is this making her any better?
32:43
SPEAKER_04: I remember one day she said to me, Mama, I haven't done any crafts in a while.
32:49
SPEAKER_04: Like, okay, all right.
32:51
SPEAKER_04: Maybe we need to rethink some of this.
32:54
SPEAKER_04: And that was her way of kind of saying that.
32:56
SPEAKER_04: And so we did.
32:56
SPEAKER_04: We stepped back a little bit.
32:58
SPEAKER_04: But I think it's just really, really following their lead and making sure that while you are their teacher, you are their coach, you're also their mom, and that the whole dance aspect of it isn't completely taking up your entire life.
33:12
SPEAKER_04: Like you have to do other things, especially at home, even if you are practicing.
33:17
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
33:17
SPEAKER_02: Great point.
33:18
SPEAKER_07: We never practiced at home.
33:20
SPEAKER_07: Once we left the studio, we left the studio.
33:23
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
33:24
SPEAKER_07: And that became, it was, you know, our home life was our home life.
33:28
SPEAKER_07: And then we would go into the studio early, that type of thing, if she needed to practice.
33:34
SPEAKER_07: But we we did totally separate studio and home.
33:38
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
33:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can I feel what about you, Leslie?
33:41
SPEAKER_03: I feel like that balance has to be hard.
33:42
SPEAKER_06: Well, you know, we weren't super competitive when I was a child.
33:46
SPEAKER_06: And even once we got into the competitive world, it really wasn't I didn't have a solo till eighth grade.
33:51
SPEAKER_06: Like it wasn't a big thing for us.
33:53
SPEAKER_06: But, you know, because we did, we often got to the studio early on on a snow day, or if we still had class, like we're still, we're still in the studio.
34:01
SPEAKER_06: So, you know, I don't remember my mom being very pushy about that kind of stuff because it wasn't the culture wasn't the like it is now.
34:09
SPEAKER_06: Do your practice at home, do your video at home, do your stretching at home.
34:12
SPEAKER_06: It just wasn't like we were I was somehow able to get to college for dance at one of the best schools in the country without practicing nine, you know, hours a week.
34:20
SPEAKER_06: Like it was just not, we didn't need to do it that much.
34:23
SPEAKER_06: And I'm I'm grateful for that because I got, like you said, Lori, an opportunity to have a different, different parts of my life.
34:30
SPEAKER_06: You know, I was a cheerleader, I did drama, I did chorus, like I did all this other stuff that required my time.
34:35
SPEAKER_06: But I do remember, like, I heard a lot about the studio in our off time, you know, like my mom, the car ride home was not about me.
34:44
SPEAKER_06: It was about the studio.
34:45
SPEAKER_06: And it was about, oh, we have to register for this.
34:47
SPEAKER_06: And this costume came late.
34:48
SPEAKER_06: And it was just sort of like the back end of it I got a lot.
34:51
SPEAKER_06: So that was one of the not not a regret that I have, but it was like that was an experience that I hope that a lot of people don't have now as studio owners' kids.
35:00
SPEAKER_06: Is I hope the studio owners can can really understand that this is my child and they had their whole afternoon at the studio just like I did, and theirs was different.
35:08
SPEAKER_06: And like, let me hear about their day as opposed to like here is all of what my business life is like because that was a little exhausting.
35:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: I can imagine uh always hearing that.
35:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:21
SPEAKER_04: I did want to say one of the reasons why we actually practice at home is I feel like I can truly give her my full attention while we're practicing.
35:30
SPEAKER_04: And sometimes if I'm at the studio practicing with her, I get pulled into, you know, so-and-so's lesson.
35:35
SPEAKER_04: Come look at this costume, come do this.
35:37
SPEAKER_04: Totally.
35:37
SPEAKER_04: So it's not so much that we're spending.
35:39
SPEAKER_04: I'm not like drilling her at home, but the focus is a lot better.
35:43
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, that makes total sense.
35:44
SPEAKER_06: I mean, well, and that it's another thing of like remembering that when you're at the studio, you are just a student.
35:51
SPEAKER_06: You're not Miss Brenda's daughter, you're you're another student.
35:54
SPEAKER_06: And so she always, you know, in that competition and at recital, like I didn't have a dance mom to do my bun.
36:00
SPEAKER_06: I didn't have a dance mom to do my makeup.
36:02
SPEAKER_06: I did it all myself because she was running the show.
36:04
SPEAKER_06: And like, that was the way it was.
36:05
SPEAKER_06: And I don't feel like I I got the short end of the stick that way, but like you do get the short end of the stick that way.
36:11
SPEAKER_06: You get you get to be very independent, you get to learn how to do it yourself.
36:14
SPEAKER_06: You get to be the one helping somebody else whose mom can't be there because you've already done it because your mom is over there running the show.
36:20
SPEAKER_06: So that's one of the I think a really cool benefit of of being a studio owner's daughter is that like I gained a lot of independence really early and didn't didn't feel bad about it.
36:29
SPEAKER_06: Felt felt kind of good about it actually.
36:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I feel like that thinking about that separation of dance mom and dance teacher could lead to, I was thinking it could, I could be wrong, but depending on how it's executed, to burnout on the kid because it's eat, sleep, breathe, dance 24-7, if that's what the parents' career is focused around, and then the kid is also doing it.
36:53
SPEAKER_03: And then I will say though, that like when it comes to practicing at home, which we encourage, we tell our dancers, practice at home.
37:01
SPEAKER_03: Now, if you're a dance mom who's not a dance teacher, do you need to be running the dances with your child?
37:08
SPEAKER_03: Probably not, because you don't even know what you're watching and how to give feedback and corrections.
37:14
SPEAKER_03: So, like maybe the dance parent can encourage it, but they don't need to be there watching, monitoring, giving feedback when it's not their place to do that.
37:22
SPEAKER_03: Where on the flip side, if you are a dance teacher of your own child, at least you can give actual corrections if you are having a at-home rehearsal or practice, and that is another benefit to having your parent as a teacher because they know what they're doing, they know what they're looking at, and that's going to immediately help you improve.
37:41
SPEAKER_03: You already have an advantage in that sense because you're live in the same household as a qualified dance teacher.
37:48
SPEAKER_03: You know, it's like a perk of being uh the the dance teacher's kid.
37:52
SPEAKER_03: So there's that perspective as well.
37:54
SPEAKER_03: But like the only thing that concerns me is like I could see kids possibly getting burnt out young to a point where by the time they're teens, they might be like, you know what, this was fun when I was young, but I want to try cheerleading or soccer or something.
38:07
SPEAKER_03: And I I feel like that's probably happened for a lot of people out there.
38:11
SPEAKER_07: Oh, I think it definitely has.
38:12
SPEAKER_07: And I think an important part is to allow your kids to have other activities and other social groups, whether it's church or school, but other places, sports, other things where they can have a set of friends and you know, a social circle that's not always taught to dance.
38:34
SPEAKER_07: Now, my my kids, their best friends still are people they grew up dancing with.
38:40
SPEAKER_07: They share that common bond, that a love, passion for dance.
38:44
SPEAKER_07: So that's always gonna be there.
38:46
SPEAKER_07: But I do think it's important for them to have other outlets as well.
38:50
SPEAKER_04: I think with my background having not been competition dance, I have a unique perspective in that I see where you could very easily burn out on all of this because some of these things I see, from my perspective, I think it's just crazy the amount of work that they're putting in at such a young age.
39:08
SPEAKER_04: And I hear sometimes from families how much that this has totally taken over their lives.
39:14
SPEAKER_04: Like I can't have a conversation with some of these people without it just being completely about dance, and that's it.
39:20
SPEAKER_04: They don't even go on vacations, their vacations are the dance competitions, you know.
39:24
SPEAKER_04: Whereas like we go camping like seven times a year, we do all of these different things.
39:29
SPEAKER_04: We have family game night.
39:31
SPEAKER_04: My son has baseball and all of these different things.
39:33
SPEAKER_04: So definitely finding that balance and checking in constantly because that balance changes from year to year as your kid gets older, and I know it's gonna change even more as she gets older, depending on what she wants to do.
39:44
SPEAKER_04: So I really have been trying to check in with her constantly, just making sure that this is really what she wants to be doing.
39:50
SPEAKER_04: Does she want to do more?
39:51
SPEAKER_04: Does she want to do less?
39:52
SPEAKER_04: Do we need to go have a play date with friends from school?
39:55
SPEAKER_04: Right.
39:56
SPEAKER_03: And like that's a conversation that everyone should be having with their kids, regardless if you teach them.
40:00
SPEAKER_03: A hundred percent don't, you know.
40:02
SPEAKER_06: I want to talk about the village that helps you guys make this all happen.
40:06
SPEAKER_06: Because we, you know, yes, we were at the studio a lot because at some points that's just what had to happen.
40:13
SPEAKER_06: But as we got older and we made friends with people at the studio, and you know, we would get a ride to dance from so and so.
40:20
SPEAKER_06: So we didn't have to go at three o'clock.
40:21
SPEAKER_06: We would get picked up by so and so's mom.
40:23
SPEAKER_06: So we didn't have to stay till nine o'clock.
40:25
SPEAKER_06: Who is your village?
40:26
SPEAKER_06: Who helps you make this work?
40:28
SPEAKER_06: You know, did you have that?
40:29
SPEAKER_06: Do you have that?
40:30
SPEAKER_07: Well, oh, I always had that, and it was great.
40:34
SPEAKER_07: And, you know, there were times that my kids would go to someone else's house, eat dinner with their family, and then they would bring them to school to to dance later.
40:43
SPEAKER_07: I mean, it you know, you have to have that.
40:46
SPEAKER_07: And even things such as hair and makeup, you know, having a a dance mom that you can say, Hey, can you help her with this?
40:56
SPEAKER_07: Because I am running this show.
40:58
SPEAKER_07: You have to have that, or it's just not gonna work.
41:02
SPEAKER_07: And I was fortunate that we have family members that live nearby that could help out.
41:06
SPEAKER_07: So, you know, that was a huge thing for us as well.
41:10
SPEAKER_07: Relying on them, you know, to help out.
41:13
SPEAKER_07: But oh yeah, you have to have that input and help from other people.
41:18
SPEAKER_04: We have amazing families at Mosaic.
41:20
SPEAKER_04: I feel confident that I could leave Lucia with pretty much any of them and that they would help her get ready, get her hair together, do her makeup, and all those things.
41:28
SPEAKER_04: We're also very lucky that my parents both live in the same city.
41:33
SPEAKER_04: They live like 15 minutes away from us.
41:34
SPEAKER_04: And you better believe that that dance grandma is at every competition.
41:39
SPEAKER_04: She comes with little, you know, little gifts for good job things, all of that.
41:44
SPEAKER_04: She makes sure that her lipstick looks great and all of these things.
41:47
SPEAKER_04: So it is definitely important.
41:49
SPEAKER_04: And my husband is amazing as well.
41:51
SPEAKER_04: He could practice with her probably and give her actual feedback.
41:54
SPEAKER_04: He knows what's up.
41:56
SPEAKER_03: He hears about it all the time.
41:57
SPEAKER_06: Yes.
41:58
SPEAKER_06: Supportive, supportive dance family and this and the spouse is always helpful because yeah, it's just too much.
42:05
SPEAKER_06: And I'm I remember getting my license, and nobody was like nervous about that.
42:09
SPEAKER_06: They were like, oh, thank God, she can take, you know, her and her sister to dance.
42:13
SPEAKER_06: Like now we can not have to worry about that one piece of the puzzle.
42:16
SPEAKER_03: I'm curious to know, and I'm sure that and I know Andrea, you said your daughter had solos since she was four.
42:23
SPEAKER_03: I know Lori, your daughters had solos at competition.
42:26
SPEAKER_03: Did y'all choreograph those solos, or did you pass those off?
42:30
SPEAKER_03: Did the kid want mommy to choreograph the solo?
42:33
SPEAKER_03: Or was the kid like, absolutely not?
42:36
SPEAKER_03: I want anyone but you to choreograph it.
42:39
SPEAKER_04: I choreographed both of my daughter's first two solos, and it was so much fun.
42:44
SPEAKER_04: I mean, she really truly, truly enjoys this, and she thought it was so cool.
42:49
SPEAKER_04: Because then during awards, you know, who choreographed your dance?
42:52
SPEAKER_04: My mom! She thought it was so cool.
42:55
SPEAKER_04: I did not choreograph two after that, and that was amazing.
42:59
SPEAKER_04: One was the studio owner and the other was her daughter, and they were Was that like a choice for you?
43:05
SPEAKER_04: Like, did you say?
43:07
SPEAKER_04: I did.
43:07
SPEAKER_04: I said, you know what?
43:08
SPEAKER_04: I think I want to see if somebody else would be interested in doing this.
43:13
SPEAKER_04: And they were both amazing solos, and she had so much fun.
43:16
SPEAKER_04: And back this year, I am doing her solos, and it's been great.
43:22
SPEAKER_04: It's great.
43:23
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
43:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
43:24
SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm I think that's an interesting layer of it because I feel like a one-on-one creative process with a kid and you and the parents.
43:34
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm just thinking about me and my mom.
43:36
SPEAKER_03: We buttheads like sisters.
43:38
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, I can only imagine if it was like in a rehearsal setting.
43:42
SPEAKER_03: And not everybody's like that.
43:44
SPEAKER_03: I'm just throwing in how I would there's no way I could get through a solo rehearsal with my mother.
43:49
SPEAKER_06: So your mother couldn't get through a solo rehearsal with you.
43:52
SPEAKER_03: No, there's no way Ortiz, absolutely there's no way.
43:55
SPEAKER_03: So, you know, maybe I'm sure a lot of people have different relationships, but you You know, especially with that uh how hard it is to be a a kid in the room, but then to be one on one in a creative process where like that's a very different um skill set.
44:10
SPEAKER_03: You don't have like the other kids around you to help relieve or to I don't know, just like it's just all eyes on you and it's one on one.
44:19
SPEAKER_03: That's it's gotta be tough.
44:20
SPEAKER_04: It's fun to give uh her some options like let's listen to this part of the music.
44:25
SPEAKER_04: What do you think this would look like?
44:27
SPEAKER_04: Let's listen to this.
44:28
SPEAKER_04: And so it's I very much enjoy choreography and it's been fun kind of teaching her some of those early skills and looking at things and seeing how she feels about things.
44:38
SPEAKER_04: Obviously, I get the final say, but honestly, sometimes she's come up with some great things.
44:42
SPEAKER_04: And I credit that to her other teachers as well.
44:46
SPEAKER_07: I've done both.
44:47
SPEAKER_07: I've choreographed their solos and then I've passed them off.
44:50
SPEAKER_07: And they do know that I know my stuff, so they will listen when I give them critiques because they recognize that I know what I'm talking about.
44:59
SPEAKER_07: But typically it was like I said, I did some of theirs growing up and then other times I would pass.
45:06
SPEAKER_07: As they got older and more in the teenage years, I typically passed them off to other teachers and would just come in and be the cleaner.
45:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:15
SPEAKER_03: That's nice.
45:16
SPEAKER_03: I I was just curious because I just feel like that that's the the dynamic in the room.
45:21
SPEAKER_03: I'm curious to know like what that would be like.
45:24
SPEAKER_03: Because solo rehearsals are intense, you know, they're little mini private lessons, essentially.
45:29
SPEAKER_03: And I I was always, you know, trying to please my dance teacher and I want to make sure I'm I'm doing exactly what you need me to do.
45:36
SPEAKER_03: You want me to try the skill, got it, okay?
45:38
SPEAKER_03: Like let me make sure I'm pleasing them.
45:39
SPEAKER_03: I could see a lot of tension, frustration happening in the room with it with your own child, or, you know, shooting for things that might be beyond what they're capable of because you just have so much uh you just want this so bad for them.
45:52
SPEAKER_03: And I don't know.
45:53
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I could be totally wrong because I've never been in that situation, but it's I'm sure every kid is different.
45:58
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
45:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
46:00
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
46:01
SPEAKER_03: Great.
46:02
SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm curious to know what type of advice that you would give to other dance teachers or other studio owners that are in this exact position.
46:10
SPEAKER_03: Maybe they are about to be in it, maybe they are thinking about having kids, or maybe they have a dancer who's young, who hasn't started dance yet, uh, who might be attending their studio.
46:21
SPEAKER_03: Anything that you would like to share with them as far as advice that you've learned so far in your journey as being the parent to a dancer?
46:30
SPEAKER_07: I think all kids are different.
46:32
SPEAKER_07: And I think you need to make sure that you listen to your kid.
46:36
SPEAKER_07: If you have a situation in class, take a moment, you know, don't necessarily respond immediately.
46:43
SPEAKER_07: We've talked previously, talk about it on the car ride home, and figure out what their feelings are.
46:49
SPEAKER_07: Are they feeling like they're not getting enough attention that you're, you know, so really have discussions with your dancers about their feelings because I think sometimes we get in that mode of teacher and we kind of forget that they're our kids as well.
47:06
SPEAKER_07: I also think, as I mentioned earlier, letting your kids know, hey, this is a business, this is our business, and they these are the expectations.
47:14
SPEAKER_07: And I think if you set those expectations, kids want to please, they want to live up to that.
47:20
SPEAKER_07: And so typically you're gonna get the behaviors that you want.
47:24
SPEAKER_07: If they know ahead of time, that's what is expected of them.
47:27
SPEAKER_07: And that's a have fun, enjoy this with your kids.
47:29
SPEAKER_07: You're getting to share your passion with your kids.
47:33
SPEAKER_07: And now for me, it's my grandkids.
47:35
SPEAKER_07: There's nothing better, absolutely nothing better.
47:38
SPEAKER_07: So enjoy it, you know, enjoy every moment.
47:41
SPEAKER_07: I never took my kids separately to a competition, mainly because we were already so busy.
47:48
SPEAKER_07: And but I would encourage dance teachers to maybe do that, maybe take a separate competition, just you and your kid, so your kid can be the focus.
47:58
SPEAKER_07: And you they have you that time, you know, that time with their mom.
48:02
SPEAKER_07: But like I said, I never did that.
48:03
SPEAKER_07: I kind of wish I had that.
48:05
SPEAKER_04: Echoing on basically everything that Lori said, it's very, very important to listen to your child.
48:11
SPEAKER_04: And it's different because we know what it takes as dance professionals and dance educators, we know what it takes to get that platinum gold supreme burrito win.
48:23
SPEAKER_04: But is that really what's going to be great for your child at that time?
48:28
SPEAKER_04: Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
48:30
SPEAKER_04: But the fact that you're listening and trying to figure out exactly what is needed and when you need to be teacher, coach, when you need to be mom, parent, whoever.
48:40
SPEAKER_04: And in all of that, you're hoping, I hope, that their skills that they're learning will transcend dance and continue throughout their entire life, just as dance has carried us through our lives.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: We hope you enjoyed this episode all about being a teacher with your own child on the team.
48:57
SPEAKER_03: Special shout out to our guests, Andrea and Maury, for joining us.
49:01
SPEAKER_03: Don't forget to follow them on Instagram.
49:04
SPEAKER_03: You can find Andrea at glamour underscore by underscore Andrea.
49:08
SPEAKER_03: And check out Lori Studio at onstage school of dance underscore.
49:14
SPEAKER_06: Don't forget to follow Making the Impact on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Podcasts, and pretty much everywhere you listen to podcasts.
49:20
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49:26
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49:34
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49:41
SPEAKER_03: Be sure to check out IDA affiliated competition True Dance Challenge.
49:46
SPEAKER_03: Looking for a competition that puts dancers and studios first?
49:50
SPEAKER_03: True Dance Challenge stands out for its commitment to fairness, quality, and organization.
49:55
SPEAKER_03: Their competitive levels are determined by adjudicated scores, not studio selection, ensuring a level playing field.
50:02
SPEAKER_03: A dedicated fourth judge handles special awards, allowing the three adjudicators to focus solely on providing thoughtful critiques.
50:09
SPEAKER_03: TDC prides itself on being organized and on time, with schedules sent at least two weeks in advance, and award ceremonies that begin almost immediately after each session.
50:20
SPEAKER_03: Titles are earned without extra fees, awarded to the highest-scoring soloists in each age and level.
50:26
SPEAKER_03: And cash awards are just that.
50:28
SPEAKER_03: Cash, not credit.
50:29
SPEAKER_03: And to top it off, True Dance Challenge provides over 100 professional high-quality photos per dance, included free with entry fees.
50:37
SPEAKER_03: At TDC, the goal is simple: to create the best possible competition experience for everyone involved.
50:44
SPEAKER_03: They will be using full panels of IBA judges at every event this season.
50:48
SPEAKER_03: And registration is now open.
50:50
SPEAKER_03: Learn more on their website at TrueDanceChallenge.com.
50:55
SPEAKER_06: Thanks for listening to Making the Impact.
50:57
SPEAKER_06: Stay tuned for more episodes in season six, including stage entrances and exits, sacrifices we make as a dance professional, and coming back from injuries.