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September 7 – My Side of the Street · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:03
  Welcome back, everybody, to the Daily Ripples podcast.
• 0:07
  Today is Monday, September the 7th.
• 0:09
  You have your regular wrecking crew, I would say, here.
• 0:13
  Yeah, me, which is Pastor Mike and our buddy Corey.
• 0:16
  We'll hear from him in just a minute because I don't like to let him talk too early on this show.
• 0:20
  But today, our devotionalist titled My Side of the Street.
• 0:24
  And it begins as always with the stone.
• 0:28
  Peace begins when I take responsibility for my own actions instead of trying to manage someone else's.
• 0:34
  Ripple one is practical.
• 0:36
  Today, I will focus on what is mine to do.
• 0:39
  I cannot control another person's response, attitude, or choices.
• 0:43
  My responsibility is to act with honesty, humility, and integrity, leaving the rest in God's hands.
• 0:49
  Ripple 2 is spiritual.
• 0:51
  As I follow Christ's example of humility, the Holy Spirit frees me from the need to justify myself or correct others.
• 0:59
  The father asked me to be faithful with my own heart, trusting him to work in every life according to his perfect timing.
• 1:06
  And we save our prayer for the end, but Corey, when I wrote, and anytime that I think about this, you know, that peace begins when I take responsibility for my own actions instead of trying to manage someone else's.
• 1:17
  Well, that's just basically a modern way of recounting, you know, from Matthew chapter 7 versus 3 and 5.
• 1:25
  And as soon as I read it, I'm sure you're going to know it.
• 1:28
  And that is, this is Jesus preaching to his disciples and followers says, why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but did not consider the plank in your own eye?
• 1:37
  Or how can you say to your brother, let me remove the speck from your eye, and look, a plank is in your own eye?
• 1:43
  Hypocrite, he says, 1st remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
• 1:52
  And so,
• 1:55
  But the important part about that is not that I don't have a responsibility around the spec in your eye, Corey, right?
• 2:03
  Because a lot of times we use that as the versus where Jesus is telling us to mind our own business.
• 2:07
  And that's not exactly what he's saying.
• 2:10
  He's saying, mind your business first.
• 2:13
  Clean up your own house 1st and then you can go deal with other people in their specs.
• 2:19
  But 1st you got to get that plank out of your way.
• 2:22
  And so it's not that, it says peace begins when I take responsibility for my own actions instead of trying to manage someone else's.
• 2:30
  Well, peace can continue even through the work of trying to not manage somebody else's actions, but trying to help them, trying to serve them, trying to reach out, as we say, for the hand of our recovery program always to be there.
• 2:44
  And for that, we are responsible, right?
• 2:46
  And, you know, in the church, we have a similar responsibility.
• 2:49
  We're called by Christ to go and make disciples, and that's helping and serving other people.
• 2:54
  That's dealing with other people's spec.
• 2:56
  But it always comes back to 1st has to start with me.
• 3:00
  Anyway, that's where I begin with this week.
• 3:02
  What do you got for us?
• 3:03
  Now, song could frog up my own.
• 3:05
  The other day.
• 3:07
  And we were talking about the traditions, and I was relating the traditions to the steps, and how, you know, because when you look up at the, like, if you, depending on what meetings you go to, you got steps on one side and traditions on the other, predominantly a lot of meetings are like that.
• 3:22
  And I was telling them, you know, because we're talking about traditions, but you know, it takes me like 10 minutes to get to one the topic we're actually talking about.
• 3:30
  Anyway.
• 3:31
  No comment.
• 3:33
  Yeah, here we are.
• 3:35
  You know, for me.
• 3:36
  So, but I was telling him, I said, you know, there's steps up there on the on the wall.
• 3:41
  They are, Well, look at the book, The book is actually the fine printing of what the steps are.
• 3:49
  You know, they're just like a bay.
• 3:51
  The steps on the 12 steps.
• 3:52
  There's just a bay thing, and then when you look in between, when you look in them, the, the, the directions are in the book of how to do those steps and what they are and everything else and I was relating that to the traditions.
• 4:04
  as well.
• 4:05
  Well, to jump in on that same theme, it kind of, it's almost like the, the book is the training and the steps are the bullet points.
• 4:12
  Right. Yeah.
• 4:13
  Yeah, and that's it.
• 4:14
  Or I think I used, if you imagine, because I make weird, you know, analogies, but I said a vocabulary.
• 4:21
  If you imagine a vocabulary list, you know, you would have this and the step being the word and, you know what I mean?
• 4:27
  Yeah, yeah. But I don't, you know, I was thinking about what we're talking about and this 1st part of it says today I'll focus was mine to do.
• 4:36
  Well, what I think about this literature and how the book aligns and it kind of puts me on page 67, for instance, right?
• 4:47
  And this is at the 4th step.
• 4:49
  This is in the 4th column of the 4th step.
• 4:52
  It says on 67, putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done.
• 4:58
  We resolutely look for our own mistakes.
• 5:01
  So when I think about that in like a more deeper look, I need to putting out the my mind what other people are doing and look at my own self first, right?
• 5:14
  And that's the best way for me to approach anything because, man, and we've talked about this before, and they're like, and now we're going to jump into some of these other thoughts because I said this, but sucks.
• 5:25
  It happens.
• 5:27
  The keystone.
• 5:28
  Oh, back to the stone.
• 5:30
  Most good ideas are simple, and the concept was the keystone of the new and trial that art.
• 5:34
  Well, the 1st part of the sentence says most good ideas are simple.
• 5:38
  Well, but what's not simple is if I'm just going to name some random names.
• 5:44
  If Steve, Allen, and Bill do what I need him to do right, the the, the whole show would be great.
• 5:51
  Yeah, that sounds familiar.
• 5:53
  Yeah, so the whole show would be great.
• 5:55
  If everybody did what I needed them to do.
• 5:56
  But I've been so focused on everybody else because and people in the room say it's the silly things like I'm a perfectionist.
• 6:05
  No, you're not.
• 6:06
  You want everybody else to be perfect for you.
• 6:07
  And. You know what I mean?
• 6:11
  Well, in true corey fashion, though, I am more of a perfectionist on things that I am doing myself, especially if it's like work, you know, if I'm typing something, writing something, you know, doing some type of work.
• 6:24
  I'm more a perfectionist on myself and I give more grace to other people.
• 6:28
  So I think, yes, there probably are some people that that's true with what you said, but I had to take it back and get a little defensive about myself.
• 6:34
  They're a little bit corey like, wait a minute, I really am though sometimes.
• 6:37
  Right, and you know, and I think that, you know, there's a rule with that too.
• 6:42
  It's on page 74.
• 6:44
  It says, the rule is, we must be hard on ourselves and always consider of others.
• 6:50
  Oh, good.
• 6:51
  I following the weird.
• 6:52
  You know what I'm saying, right?
• 6:52
  So like, if I'm hard on myself, but see, if I flip that, right?
• 6:58
  From heart on my dish, which I have been in my life.
• 7:00
  Oh, 100%, me too.
• 7:02
  And the way I've always lived, and I've been considered of myself.
• 7:06
  You know what I mean?
• 7:08
  They'll always considering me.
• 7:09
  And so the flip is, I'm not hard on others.
• 7:13
  Im hard on me.
• 7:13
  And that's okay.
• 7:15
  And I think, you know, this literature aligns in a way in my life and the way I think about it is,
• 7:22
  Man, that's kind of like, but yeah, here in rooms that we associating a lot, the opposite.
• 7:30
  The opposite is my feelings.
• 7:32
  My feelings, you know, I don't want my feelings to get hurt because I could drink, Michael.
• 7:37
  But, you know, we got to lay aside those feelings, right?
• 7:40
  And the subjective, those are subjective, and like to the objective nature.
• 7:46
  when we do this work, man, those feelings are going to happen regardless.
• 7:49
  Yeah.
• 7:50
  And so, and I think there's all these cool bullet coins to this, the same thing we're just talking about, but the last one I was thinking about.
• 7:58
  Um, And it tells me on page 80, before taking drastic action, which might implicate other people.
• 8:05
  We secure their consent.
• 8:08
  If we have obtained permission.
• 8:10
  We've consulted with others, ask God to help in drastic step.
• 8:14
  indicated we must not shrink.
• 8:15
  That is not what we're going to talk about.
• 8:17
  But.
• 8:19
  Anyways, but what I was getting, I'm keep going.
• 8:22
  leave it.
• 8:23
  We're leaving it.
• 8:24
  Yeah, that's fine.
• 8:24
  But, you know, what I'm getting at is man, if I focus on my stuff.
• 8:29
  My, my life, not yours, because the only thing your life does when I focus on you is get me out of me, I don't have to think about my miserable stuff that's going on.
• 8:39
  Right?
• 8:40
  So, and that's and that's why everybody in the world, not just in rooms we associate in.
• 8:47
  talk about other people.
• 8:49
  because they don't want to look at themselves.
• 8:51
  But when we start talking about ourselves, right, that gains us, that gives us some dignity that gives us something that's real.
• 8:59
  And like, you know, I mean, that's real conversations to me, when I talk about myself rather than other people, when I'm easy on other people, but hard on me.
• 9:09
  I was talking my sponsors the other day and I said, man, I got all these, because I, man, we've had a sick baby this week.
• 9:17
  Yeah, yeah.
• 9:18
  I said, man, you know, it's funny because like, you know, I came in, I was the way I was talking the other day.
• 9:24
  I was like, man, you know, it's the baby's fault because she can't really argue back with me.
• 9:29
  She can't snook.
• 9:30
  And so, but I said, man, you know, what it really is, is my core decision making and planning and not me not taking the time at night to do this, for this to happen and this, and it's not the baby's fault.
• 9:45
  It's her dad's fault.
• 9:46
  And, you know, so but if I don't take that, you know, I just run with, it's always the baby's fault.
• 9:52
  I will run with it.
• 9:53
  It's the baby's fault for the rest of my life.
• 9:54
  Yeah, and over time, that would, that would become a barrier between you and your own child because you would have this built up, you know, pent up resentment about, you know, this kid ruining your life kind of thing when you and I both know, that kid gives you life, brother.
• 10:11
  You know, I mean, that, because I've seen it.
• 10:13
  You know, I've witnessed it.
• 10:14
  You know, I was thinking a lot about some of the stuff that you said about, especially the people who get so tied up in their, you know, emotions and things like that, right?
• 10:22
  And that does tie back to even our practical ripple today.
• 10:25
  you know, today I will focus on what is mine to do.
• 10:27
  Well, so what is mine to do?
• 10:29
  Well, what is mine to do is to, number one, you know, work my own program, right?
• 10:36
  Right.
• 10:36
  And so if I'm working my program, like I said, that's the 1st thing that I got to do.
• 10:41
  And if I'm doing that, then eventually I get to the part in the steps where part of my program is what? It's working with other people.
• 10:48
  And when I start working with other people, and I'm focusing on, you know, so I've cleaned up the wreckage of the past, and by the way, you know, by the time we get here in this, you know, progression throughout the year, we're in September, right?
• 10:59
  And we've already talked about this, we're on the ninth month.
• 11:01
  We're going to be talking about amends a lot.
• 11:03
  And this one, you know, this whole week we're kind of going through the every day's devotional kind of goes through the arc of, you know, the step 9 movement, right?
• 11:12
  So today we're talking about what is our responsibility.
• 11:14
  Tomorrow, we'll talk about surrender.
• 11:16
  We'll talk about our gradual progress Wednesday, doing the work ourself on Thursday, and then on Friday, we'll get to the courage to actually make those amends, right?
• 11:24
  And so that's kind of the progression this week.
• 11:26
  And so today's the responsibility, but the responsibility is also, when I find those times, when I am in that emotional distress that you were just talking about, and the poor me, the poor me, poor me, as they say, pour me a drink, right?
• 11:41
  Well, I got to go back to, if I'm really doing what this practical ripple says, focusing what is mine to do.
• 11:48
  Well, what is mine to do is to work this program, and this program includes a whole chapter on working with others.
• 11:54
  And the 1st page of that is on page 89 in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
• 11:59
  It says practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.
• 12:06
  It works when other activities fail.
• 12:08
  Now, why do I bring that up whenever, or why do my mind go there when you were talking about our emotional distress and talk about our emotions?
• 12:14
  Well, because what I have found from my own practical experience is that when I'm sitting down for an hour, hour and a half with a sponsee reading through this book or talking about the steps or, you know, sponsoring somebody, basically, my emotional distress is nowhere to be found, because I've gotten outside of myself and I'm focusing on somebody else, and that's a part of this dang program, man.
• 12:36
  You know, it's cool about that and, uh, uh, to, yeah, they talk about these stones a little bit and, you know, the cool I found the other morning when I, because, you know, I do my little morning thing and some mornings I got a lot of time, so I'm sitting there, you know, really, and, uh, yeah, I was thinking about, because on page 96, it talks about the, uh, foundation stone, the foundation stone is helping others, right?
• 13:03
  Well, on page 75, we kind of go, you know, on page 75, into action, it says, oh, the stones properly in place.
• 13:10
  So you got the chapter in the action that it says, are the stones promptly in place?
• 13:15
  Well, all the other little, the keystone, the chorus zone, and the, just the foundation, all that stuff is through Bill's story, uh, and we agnostics, and how it works.
• 13:29
  What I found, though, the other morning, because I was thinking, why does it say this foundation stone weighs past here?
• 13:36
  You know what I'm saying?
• 13:38
  Like in a structural sense.
• 13:39
  And what's cool is the chapter working with others was written before the chapter into action.
• 13:45
  Oh, then they reorganized it when they edited it together.
• 13:48
  Right.
• 13:48
  So I think that's a really cool deal because like I, to me, when I get to the point of the book and usually in, I love the bottom paragraph of 75, when I think of structurally, well, why, because why is this over here, then they put this here?
• 14:02
  Well, because working with others, as we talked about this last week, you know, I don't care if you got to give someone a run.
• 14:09
  If you need to just spend 30 minutes with a ton.
• 14:11
  You know, you know, taking people through this literature, man, if someone's listening to this, I'll tell you what grade, um, the last grade I completed was ninth grade.
• 14:23
  I made it 2 months.
• 14:25
  No shame at that, man.
• 14:27
  Right, order your story.
• 14:28
  So what I'm saying is, though, if someone was just wanted to pick this book up and read with a friend, you know, it doesn't say you have to be, you know, through the steps and through the work and all this stuff, right, right, to even to just read a book with somebody.
• 14:46
  Well, you've pointed out plenty of times before about the early days of this program, you know, they would take a new man and they worked 3 steps in a day, you know, and so it wasn't a long drawn out thing.
• 14:58
  It was let's have an intensive clinic about it, basically.
• 15:01
  We're going to work way until you get this thing right.
• 15:03
  And it was 10, like, you know, we come into this, and I know we're kind of just all over the place, but when I look at, but it's all connected.
• 15:10
  Yeah.
• 15:11
  But when I look at this and it's like, hey man, all I can give you is one hour a week.
• 15:17
  And that's such a light amount.
• 15:20
  I been destroying my life and a career of drinking and hurting people.
• 15:26
  That wasn't one hour a day.
• 15:28
  That wasn't one, no.
• 15:30
  You don't want to be on at all.
• 15:31
  You know, it wasn't one hour a week.
• 15:34
  It was a, you know, the references my drinking.
• 15:36
  The one hour might have been the time it took me to drive to a liquor store, but I was going to do it.
• 15:40
  Absolutely.
• 15:41
  That it's not like the,
• 15:42
  I mean, I think, you know, I mean, hours do I spend, just drink, drinking.
• 15:47
  See, and when you're sitting down with a real alcoholic and they start to argue back about not having time to do something, I have used that example of how much time did you spend on your drinking activities and it cuts through all the excuses faster with a real alcoholic and faster than anything else does.
• 16:06
  Well, I think the other the other thing is, is like, you know, I'll have dudes.
• 16:09
  I, man, I go, dude, right now, but I'll have plenty of dudes, who's right, they're like, they stop drinking, they're miserable.
• 16:16
  They go to some meetings, now they, what's the next step?
• 16:19
  they get a job.
• 16:20
  Yeah, and now they're calling me down like, man, I don't have enough time.
• 16:25
  Or they get a girlfriend, girlfriend.
• 16:28
  Yeah, all those things.
• 16:30
  Yeah, it's like, man, you know, I tell them, I'm like, well, do you want to know what my life looks like?
• 16:34
  Yeah.
• 16:35
  Because my life looks like.
• 16:36
  Got the job, got the kid, got the woman, got all these things, got meetings, we've started, you know, this.
• 16:43
  whatever, right?
• 16:44
  You know, but that's what it's about.
• 16:46
  There's nothing.
• 16:47
  What else am I going to do?
• 16:49
  What else would I be doing today?
• 16:50
  be, you know, well, usually on the noon meeting,
• 16:53
  like, yeah, like you're doing what keeps you sober and what gives you purpose.
• 16:57
  Right.
• 16:57
  I mean, what else would I be doing?
• 16:58
  Just sit on the couch.
• 16:59
  It takes a lot of...
• 17:01
  There's a lot of good shows on Netflix out there, Corey.
• 17:03
  I don't have Netflix saying, well, man.
• 17:05
  Well, good for you.
• 17:06
  Yeah.
• 17:07
  Good for you.
• 17:08
  Well, if you're never home to watch it, then what's the point of, you know, paying for it, what have you?
• 17:12
  Well, I had thought of something, uh, a closing remark here and it totally escaped my mind.
• 17:22
  We do that sometimes, don't we?
• 17:25
  No, I know what it was.
• 17:26
  I was thinking about how we're trying to get some feedback and some engagement, you know, on the on the email, which is, you know, wave at dailyripples.com.
• 17:34
  And it's in the show notes.
• 17:36
  But our question of the day today is, what's your plank?
• 17:40
  You know, what's the what's the plank in your eye that needs to be resolved before you can work with others?
• 17:47
  You know, for some people in recovering,
• 17:49
  Maybe the plank is dealing with their own sobriety right now so that they can work toward the spec in other people's eyes?
• 17:55
  For me, the the plank today is is probably just, uh, you know, motivation, you know, getting my self-motivated to get out and do something.
• 18:04
  That's often the plank for me.
• 18:05
  Have you got a plank today, Corey?
• 18:07
  No.
• 18:08
  No planks today?
• 18:09
  Well, I mean, like, I don't really have anything like, you know, man, I'll tell you, I've been a little dull.
• 18:14
  Uh, but that's okay, because it's, you know, it kind of rides this way and the rides that.
• 18:19
  I'm not really worried about that.
• 18:20
  But no, man, like, you know, actually, I got like a lot, you know, I mean, I don't have anything stopping me from working with others.
• 18:27
  I don't have any, but, you know, the only thing I got or some, you know, pretty hefty amends I'm looking at for.
• 18:33
  I don't look at amends.
• 18:34
  I don't even think about what I do is the big amends I have left, all my prayer list that I pray for every morning.
• 18:41
  I pray for also all those individuals, well, and I pray for their well-being and their love and everything else and their forgiveness.
• 18:49
  And so, but I'll tell you, you know, it puts a lot of, you know, you're not able to shove it down when you read it every year.
• 18:56
  Yeah.
• 18:57
  And he keeps a front of mine.
• 18:58
  Yeah, so I keep those people on my mind and um, yeah, that's it's fun stuff though, because I get to get closer to God.
• 19:04
  I mean, it's a privilege.
• 19:05
  So strong.
• 19:06
  I get to make those amends.
• 19:07
  I get to be closer.
• 19:08
  I know, I get to be closer, but I get to have a better contact with.
• 19:11
  You feel the experience of going?
• 19:13
  And that's where, you know, you're working, part of the immense process is, even if there's not reconciliation is part of, or similar to the way or the means of, you know, reconciliation that's laid out in the Bible, you know, because Jesus said, you know, if another person has, you know, offended you or done something against you or in this case, we're the ones often who've offended or done something against somebody else, that we 1st should approach that person on our own, you know, and try to win them back.
• 19:39
  And so it's very biblical.
• 19:40
  But let's close with our prayer for today.
• 19:42
  We did go a little bit long today, and that happens.
• 19:44
  Our prayer is, Father God, help me keep my side of the street clean today. Through your Holy Spirit, give me the humility to take responsibility for my own actions.
• 19:54
  Shape me through the example of Jesus, and help me trust you with the rest.
• 19:59
  Amen.
• 20:00
  Amen. I kind of, I kind of like that that humility to take responsibility.
• 20:05
  It's like, we could start rapping again.
• 20:07
  You love it when I talk about rapping, right?
• 20:09
  Yeah, you want you want to rap?
• 20:11
  Humility.
• 20:12
  You got taste responsibility, Chamel?
• 20:14
  I need a I need a beat.
• 20:15
  Drop the beat, Corey.