Latest / Marci talks money (and life) / Coaching Coaches: Money Mindset, Self-Worth, and Financial Confidence with Scarlett Stanhope
Transcript
- Marci Grossman (00:06) Hello, welcome to Marci Talks Money and Life. I'm Money Marci and I get to meet and talk to the most interesting people. My guest today is Scarlett Stanhope. She's also known as the Biz Hippie Scarlett teaches coaches to conquer their finances and own their worth so that they can be fully supported by the work that they love. Scarlett harnessed the power of money to break free from her workaholic career path and pursue her dreams. She uses a combination of tangible money management strategies as well as a variety of coaching techniques to help her clients transform their mindset and relationship to money, allowing them to strategically achieve their goals and live their best lives. Welcome Scarlett. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (00:47) Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited for our conversation today. Marci Grossman (00:50) I'm excited too because coaches offer so much because there are so many different ways to engage coaches and coaches have so much diverse knowledge bringing in. I love the stories that there are, but let's start with your story. Tell me about this workaholic career path that you had. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (01:08) My whole background growing up was very much a type A high achiever perfectionist. I was the student getting straight A's, working really hard in school. Even as a child, I was so rooted in this idea of perfectionism and success that I was an eight year old with migraine headaches because of just the weight and pressure of like being perfect, doing it right, checking all the boxes. And so as a young adult, I started working from a young age and primarily working in the restaurant industry. I started managing restaurants by the time I was 18 and was really like this professional person who would confuse people with my age. People would look at me and be like, are you 13 or are you 30? I can't tell because I would wear four inch heels, blazers. false eyelashes, full face of makeup and really put on this whole persona of like, okay, I'm the manager of this restaurant and I'm making good money. I have this job title. I'm going to school to get my bachelor's in business management, accounting and finance. And even though I'm like checking all these boxes of success and quote doing everything right. And I have a lot of things that look great on paper. I was also very unfulfilled and was kind of going down this dark spiral of feeling depressed, feeling like my life was meaningless, feeling like I was a zombie living in my own life and feeling like my life wasn't really in my control and I was just waiting for life to start. Marci Grossman (02:36) So did you stay in the restaurant industry, get your bachelor's degree work in some financial field or did you kind of reroute earlier than that? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (02:45) So I was in the restaurant industry all through my bachelor's. And then I was also working for a company called Richer Than You Think, which helps individuals manage their money. And it's more personal finance oriented. So that's really where I learned about personal finance. But then pretty much right away after getting my bachelor's degree, I decided I didn't want to have a traditional nine to five job, I didn't want to be a CPA. And I kind of went full 180. And I stepped away from what I call business mode and went full hippie mode. And that's when I started my coaching practice. And that's really when I started to say yes to a bunch of different opportunities that really lit me up. And it was really for the first time that I started to live the kind of life that I wanted to live. So I became a yoga instructor and became a Reiki practitioner and started traveling the world and attending retreats. So I really dove all into this other side of like the career path, which was entrepreneurship and just really choosing things that felt fulfilling to me. Marci Grossman (03:49) Okay, what about the family background that you came from? Because we all learn lessons from our families, whether they're conscious or subconscious, whether they're positive or negative. I'm assuming if you got into restaurants early there was some family business or family models for you to follow? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (04:06) Yeah, so I definitely picked some stuff up when I was growing up and primarily I would say, so growing up, I was raised by a single mom who was pretty young and had me and my sibling at a young age. So she was working very hard to take care of us and we were like low income bracket. So there was definitely this underlying idea of you're not going to starve. We always had enough, but just enough. There wasn't room for extra. I couldn't get the things that I wanted that I saw in the store. And then like other friends, childhood friends would be like, I have these brand name sneakers or brand name clothes, but you know, we couldn't afford those things like that was a waste of money. So I learned more saving techniques as a child. My mom was very good about teaching me the difference between buying something that seems cheaper versus buying the thing that's more valuable and doing the math to determine like how you should spend your money. she also helped us to open our first savings accounts. So I opened mine when I was seven years old. And that's when I first started saving money. And then I think this also just being a younger sibling as well. my success, my getting good grades was how I would try to get attention as well. So that really motivated the way that I showed up in the world was okay, like I gotta be a goody goody, I gotta be on everybody's good side, I have to make sure I get straight A's otherwise I'm a failure, otherwise I won't get love. So that really was the childhood that led to on the surface, seeming really good with money, but at the same time having some of these, like frugal, scarce based tendencies, the like, I need to show up a certain way in order to be worthy and deserving. That really impacted, especially my early adulthood. Marci Grossman (05:57) You know, so many times you hear of kids that to get attention get into trouble. So I like this idea of I want attention so I'm going to get good grades. ⁓ I wish we could encourage more kids to go that way. So, wow, that's a lot to unpack. So how did you end up in restaurants? Was that where your mom had worked? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (06:09) Yes. It wasn't connected to my family at all. I in high school, like my favorite channel was Food Network, and I just like loved culinary and I also went to a high school where it was like a hybrid high school and trade school. So half of my classes were actually in the culinary program. And that was actually my first career path was I almost went to culinary school. In fact, even as a senior I had applied to go to college at the Culinary Institute of America, which is one of the most prestigious culinary schools in the country and was accepted and totally had the plan to go to culinary school. But then within the last two months of graduation, two to three months, I decided that I didn't want to go to culinary school and instead totally changed directions and went to school for business instead. And that was really motivated by this idea of well, like culinary isn't enough. It's not successful enough. I should do something more with my skill sets. I have these other skill sets, and it would be a waste to spend it on culinary. And even like my culinary instructors were saying, don't go to culinary school. It's a waste of money. Like you'd be better off just getting restaurant experience if that's really what you want to do. So there was also this underlying notion of like, there's not money in the restaurant industry. And so I redirected and chose business so that again, I could choose the more successful and like financially motivated path. Marci Grossman (07:49) Wow! I don't know where you go from that. I've got this path and the people who have put me on this path say, yeah, you don't want to go there. That's a lot to have to unpack. What were you, 17, 18 years old at that time? That's big shift. Do you continue to experience the culinary when you travel? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (08:00) Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, food is still definitely a big part of my life, even though I did not pursue the culinary industry. Even when I started my business, so I left the restaurant industry. And then when I started my coaching business for the first year, I, you know, was just full time in my business and was kind of floundering around and just trying to figure it out. And I took my whole savings and really poured it into the business. And then about a year after running the business and not making any money, I realized, okay, it's about time that I get some more income coming in. And I was really resistant to that at first. My mom was like, would you just get a job? And I was like, no, you don't believe in me. You don't believe in my dreams. Like I need to go all in on this. I need to fully believe in myself. I can't get a job because that means that I don't believe in myself and that I'm a failure. But then I realized, okay, I really do need income. And so I did end up going back to the restaurant industry and started waiting tables at a local restaurant near me. But I really had to do a lot of mindset work and say, this isn't me like failing and going back to the restaurant industry. I'm choosing to do this in support. of my business. Like because I am choosing to do this work now, I can keep running my business. This is me committing even more to my business and my belief in myself. And also as I made my choice to wait tables and work at a restaurant, I was really intentional and conscious about where I was going to work. So luckily, there's the amazing local restaurant near me that's close by has good hours. It's breakfast and lunch, it's woman owned, it's farm to table, they get all their ingredients locally. So it was so in alignment with everything that I believe in and everything that I care about now where I was like, okay, if I am to do this, this is the best choice for me. So I did go back into the restaurant industry and I continued to work there for three years. while running my business. Marci Grossman (10:10) I think that's really important because when you have a dream, it's okay to do the things in support of that dream that you need to do. Just living in your mom's basement and working at your business is great, but if you need to build, to put money in your pocket. see that success the money attracting more money and seeing the way businesses run and all that kudos because a lot of people when they are trying to build a business Will pour everything into that business that business is a hundred and ten percent of their time And then it goes under and they've got nothing there and they ran out of steam and whatever else. So so that's just such a Scarlett The Biz Hippie (10:31) Mm. Marci Grossman (10:50) such a good business decision to say, I've got to split my time so that I can support this business so that I can give it the time it needs to grow. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (10:58) Yeah, absolutely. And I have the same conversation very often with my clients since I primarily work with like entrepreneurs and coaches and people who want to leave a traditional nine to five job and really don't want to work for anyone else. And it feels like a really big sacrifice to get other income flowing from another source. And again, it's this idea of it's detracting from the business or I should be making enough money to fully support myself in my business. Why isn't it working? But I have that having that other income coming in. is really valuable, whether you're an entrepreneur or not, because you're satisfying the need for financial safety and security. And when you have those basic needs met, it's a lot easier for you to grow the business or enjoy your life because you're not bringing your desperation and your money stress and your fear onto your sales calls and in your conversations with people that you talk to. So it actually really influences success in your life and especially in your business when you have your financial foundations met even if they're coming from a slightly less than perfect source. Marci Grossman (12:07) You know, look, we all want perfection. Perfection is an awesome goal. few of us reach perfection, but you can reach greatness, you can reach happiness, you can reach contentment, you can reach all these other things by finding that balance between pursuing, I'm going to say a goal, because dreams are something, boy, I wish that would happen. And goals are when you make a plan and you do the work and you do Scarlett The Biz Hippie (12:14) Mm-hmm. Marci Grossman (12:32) whatever it takes, know, working in a restaurant, getting a part-time job wherever in support of that greater goal for yourself. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (12:41) Yes, exactly. Marci Grossman (12:42) So people have a lot of fear around money. They're afraid that they're not going to make it, which is why they might give up their dream. Or they fear if they sidetrack from their dream, they're not going to reach their goals. How do you help them to work around fears? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (13:02) Yeah, and this is so prevalent too, in this day and age. Most people are experiencing some type of fear around money. Even no matter how much money you have, your relationship with money, your fear around money can still be there. Because whether you're living paycheck to paycheck, and you're barely scraping by and you're constantly in money stress, or if you are making more money, there can still be this underlying fear of, it's going to go away. And so the first thing that I like to show people is that it's not about the amount of money, because I think that's a trap that people will get caught in is think, okay, if I just work harder and work more and put in more hours and make more money, then this stress that I have around money will go away. But that's really not the case. I've seen it with clients who are making decent income in their consistent nine to five jobs and feel like it's still not enough and they're barely scraping by. And so what I teach my clients to do is really bring awareness to your relationship with money. These are and similar to what we talked about earlier, your foundational beliefs around money that you learned growing up. And there's a variety of these beliefs, but it could be like money is evil, money doesn't grow on trees, you have to suffer in some way in order to be deserving of having money. in order to be worthy of having money, or money is bad, so I need to push it away, right? We have just all of these subconscious beliefs around money, and they impact your ability to attract money into your life and also what you do with that money. If you're able to hold on to it, how intentionally or consciously you use it, or maybe you throw it away from you because you're trying to get rid of it subconsciously. And all of these actions that we take with our money is based on these subconscious beliefs, but we just take them at face value. We just assume that it's true, and this is the way that the world is. And so the first step is really recognizing that you have a relationship with money based on these beliefs and that they're not inherently accurate. Marci Grossman (15:14) Would you say that your clients who are entrepreneurs, I assume near the beginning of their entrepreneurial journey, if they're getting coached, though I guess you can get coached at any point in time, would you say that financial literacy is they come in with it, they come in without it, they come in knowing they need it? Where would that fit into the program? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (15:35) Yeah, I do get a range of people. Most commonly, I attract and find people who have no financial literacy. They were not taught how to manage, track or be in control of their money growing up. And in fact, there's a lot of fear and resistance to doing this. and it feels overwhelming, it feels stressful, but at the same time, they know they have this underlying constant money stress and this these scarce based beliefs and the scarce mindset that is holding them back from really living their best lives from really being in control of their money. They feel like their money is in control of them, and that money is dictating their lives. And so eventually they get to a point where they recognize something needs to change. Like I need to do something differently. I have worked with clients who are a little bit further along in terms of their financial literacy, whereas they have a method for managing and tracking their money, but they haven't done all the internal work. of uncovering what I call their scarcity seeds, their scarcity stories and their scarcity selves. And so when we work together to do that, it really brings a lot to the surface. And then also I teach them how to up raid their money management system so they can get a higher level view. So even the clients that I work with who have some level of they feel financially solid, but they want to leave the nine to five job or take a leap of faith, and they're wondering how they can make that happen. And then they discover like, I've really just scratched the surface on what's possible in terms of financial literacy. Marci Grossman (17:19) Yeah, so my work is financial literacy. It's teaching people the basics about money, getting them comfortable starting to talk about money. And I find it fascinating limitation we have on that education. schools, they're starting to require it here in Michigan. Various schools around the country, various states around the country have different requirements for financial literacy. Teaching a half-year class in high school about financial literacy is nice, but it's not necessarily going to be something you take with you for your whole life, depending on how it's taught, where you are mentally and emotionally, maturity-wise at that point in time. So it's a matter of getting people to continue that journey to recognize that learning about money has to be a lifelong thing. That talking about money has to be a lifelong thing. Certainly as you get older, as you partner up, as you have kids, as things in your life change, what you need to know about money to be successful is different at different points in time. One of the things is how people can be too frugal. can be so focused on, I have to earn money, I have to save money, I have to whatever, that they don't take care of the things around them, like their health, like their safety, like the security of their house or the maintenance items that need to be done to make their car secure. How you deal with that? Does that come up in your practice? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (18:40) Yeah, and I love that you bring this up too, because I think there's this inherent assumption that any form of spending money is bad, and I shouldn't be doing it like, darn, I'm, I'm spending I shouldn't I should be saving. And I think that this is inaccurate. It's not true. Like we live in a society where it's a constant flow of money, there's money in and there's money out and you can use that money to prioritize what is most important. And yes, portions of that is prioritizing the future, prioritizing crushing your debt if you have debt, saving for what's important, saving for retirement, but also like living your life is a priority right now. And it's important to prioritize the things that are most important to you. And so what, when I have conversations with my clients, there's often this conversation of sacrifice, like, I feel like now that I see my numbers clearly, I have to sacrifice in order to achieve these different financial goals. And I love to reframe that perspective and say, what if it wasn't sacrificing and focusing what you can't do with your money? What if instead it's choosing what you want and prioritizing that with your money? And so for some clients that could be, well, the most important thing is for me to eat really healthy and make sure I'm buying good groceries and cooking for myself. So I'm going to make sure I build that grocery line into my financial blueprint. But that also means cutting out these less important things that aren't as important to me as eating. healthy. And so I think it's a balance of recognizing what are the priorities and being willing to spend that money in alignment with really what is most important to you. Marci Grossman (20:27) So in my practice throughout the years, I have people make more money and always spend more than they make, no matter what, as their income grows, their spending grows, and of course their debt grows. And I have people who have much smaller income and you can watch their investments and their retirement grow because they're aware as they get these increases in income that it's not a guarantee of whatever might be in their future and so they keep their spending more intentional, more low-key, however you want to phrase it. Do you work with your clients on that aspect of or do you encourage them to work with other financial professionals or work with other methods to Reign in spending or yours is more about the building and the coaching of the growth of the business that's not part of it. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (21:18) Yeah, so as part of the work that I do, it's very similar to what you're describing, because even though I do work with coaches and help them with their business and like pricing their offers and managing their business finances, I also teach them about their personal finances, because that ties into the business big time. And so really giving them the foundations of being able to see their money clearly building a financial blueprint so that they can have awareness around what is currently happening with their money, developing a routine with their money so that they're sitting down weekly to look at and see what's happening, where's my money going and building a plan with that money to say, okay, this is really the blueprint that works for me. Here's the goal I'm working towards. Here's what I'm prioritizing. Here's where I need to cut back. Here's where I need to put my foot on the gas to work towards this goal. And so I teach them how to do these skills for themselves and to maintain this practice for themselves. Although because money is sticky, it's easy to kind of fall off the wagon and stop your money management practices and get a little freaked out and get a little stressed out. Usually when something happens like an unexpected car payment comes up. And so I continue to support my clients being the ones in control of their money and making the decisions and alignment for them based on seeing the numbers clearly and being aware of their financial blueprint, but I also get to continue to support them on that journey. So when they have those questions, when unexpected things happen, or when they're feeling freaked out, and they don't know what to do, and they're feeling overwhelmed, they have that consistent guidance to help them move forward. Marci Grossman (22:58) That's impressive to be able to talk with them on all those different levels and be able to hopefully have them hear you when you talk to them on those different levels. I assume you've had some clients that are newer clients and other clients that you've been working with for a number of years. And as we all evolve over time, you seeing those changes in them? kind of a shift as they redefine themselves and their personal goals or their business goals, business practices, and the way they evolve with that. How do you help them negotiate? Because sometimes those changes are really easy and smooth and natural and sometimes all of a sudden you bump up against something and you realize, okay, I've got to do a major shift here. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (23:40) Yeah, that's such a great question. Well, I will say that one is I tend to work with people who are really ready to do this work. And I think that's important is that I kind of have a filter system. I'm not just working with the people who think like, okay, I think this would really benefit me, but I'm really afraid to do it and I don't really want to invest in receiving support and you know, people who are not fully fully ready to do this work because I know money can be really challenging and really uncomfortable. So I love working with people who even though it's really uncomfortable, even though it's really scary, even though it's really challenging, even though it's been impacting them for their whole entire lives, and it feels impossible to get out of it, they're committed and they're all in and they're ready. So I work with my clients for a six month period of time to start they can continue working with me after that, but the first package length is six months. So it's a six month deep dive and in that period of time, really big shifts and really big transformations tend to happen, even though it can be like... small incremental changes that happen over time. But by the time we get through the six month container, these people have a totally different relationship with money, because we've done a lot of the internal work, we work on the mindset, we go into your childhood stories, and we rewrite those stories and those beliefs, not just around money, but also around yourself and your self worth. And then we make it tangible, you learn how to manage and track your money. And then you build a vision and you use your money to make that vision a reality. And then again, we tap into the mindset and the identity of your most abundant self. So just going through the steps going through the process, if you're committed and you put the time into it, even if it's uncomfortable, even if it's not always easy, like simply being committed to doing this work guarantees a transformation. Marci Grossman (25:35) How do they find you initially? mean, I know you've got your website and you do some podcasting and of course guesting on podcasting and all of those things, but you say you connect with them when they're ready. What are those clues that, my gosh, the universe has aligned us and put us together here? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (25:52) I find most of my clients through podcast guesting, networking, like in person networking, I've done a lot of traveling and attending events and retreats. So people that I meet, and then I nurture people for a long term through my email list through Instagram, I have my own podcast show now too, which is relatively new. For example, I have clients that I met three years ago in Hawaii who just started working with me recently. So it's really a long term nurture and I have found because my offer is more of a high ticket offer, it's a higher ticket coaching program, where the price point of the program is the filter system for my best clients. If you have so much money stress and money fear that you're unable to overcome the financial investment of it, then you're not ready to do it at this high level. And granted, I do give a lot of flexibility for people who are really committed, but just like can't financially make it work. And I have been flexible with people, but I've seen time and time again, that it's less about the money and it's more about your willingness and readiness to do this work. Because early on in my business, I would discount my program and be like, okay, you said you're a no because of the price. Now let me discount it. And they would still say no. And I was like, oh, it's not because of the money in this scenario, it's about your readiness and the fear of it not working, the fear of not being ready to look at your money and face it. And so the people who are really ready are the ones who are ready to invest. And honestly, I say to my clients that the most powerful transformation that they get from doing this work is actually the initial investment. Because in order to invest in themselves in this work, in this way to commit to a six month coaching program, they have to believe that their next level of abundance is possible. They are committed to that next level of abundance so much so that they've put their money. on it, they are betting on themselves in a really big way. And that investment alone has already shifted them into their most abundant self. And then the six months of working together is just like integrating that and proving to them that that is now true. Marci Grossman (28:09) I love that saying that they're betting on themselves. I mean, that's huge because they're not betting on you. You're a conduit. You're a tool. I don't mean you're a tool, I mean, you're a vehicle that is on the way to help them toward their success. And they are, if you want to call it... Scarlett The Biz Hippie (28:21) I'll take it, it's true. Marci Grossman (28:30) buying or renting your services for a period of time to do that and they have to make that commitment much as they would in anything else they're doing whether it's a one-day seminar or a six-month period of training to get from here to there because they're making that commitment. They're investing in themselves. They're investing their time in you. but it's all about making that investment, having that belief that they are ready for that next step and that you are going to be able to help them create that focus on themselves and their goals and those strategies. I think it's so tremendous what coaches are able to do for people when the people are ready to be coached. And you can say that in... whether it's in a business application or a learning application or a sports application or whatever you want to call it, you have to be ready to take that next step. I love that you are, finding this opportunity to present yourself and be available for these people to make that next step. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (29:32) Yeah, it's really important because so many people are struggling with money. That's why, you know, people doing this work, the work that you're doing, the work that I'm doing, like it's very much needed. It's very much out of necessity. And I think that's why. it exists. That's what certainly why I do the work that I do is because I was presented with people struggling and I realized that I could fill that need. And also, even though I primarily work with entrepreneurs, and the goal is for them to, you know, feel more abundant and go all in on their business, when you transform your relationship with money, it impacts every single area of your life, it bleeds into everything because your money impacts your health, your relationships, your ability to feel safe and stable to do things that you enjoy. To say yes to the life you want to live. So when you heal your relationship with money, you're really healing yourself on a deep level and you're also making your best life possible. So the work that I do is like, really powerful, deep transformative coaching, but it's just through the lens and the avenue of money. Marci Grossman (30:34) Well, that's why my show is Money and Life, because they do go together. And one of the powerful things that I think I talk about is how even if you don't realize it, everything costs money. There is no free lunch. Someone is paying for it. And if you can find out who's paying for it, who's making what investments, then you can really help establish the value of the other things that are going on around you. because you know where things are coming from. What are things we haven't talked about that you would love to address? Scarlett The Biz Hippie (31:03) I think it's really important to hone in more on what you just said, which is money is flowing. always and impacting your life and impacting this world that we live in. And so I think there's a lot of people who recognize that you have challenges around money, but maybe have some hesitancy or resistance or fear to doing this work. But also I've seen time and time again, that avoiding this work and avoiding looking at your money, is actually just creating more of the financial stress and more of the fear and more of the stress and really the sooner that you start the better because it's going to change your whole entire life. And I think that's just an important thing to note, especially if anyone's having hesitancy on diving in. It's like this is really the foundation to living a fulfilling solid life that you actually enjoy without money controlling you or stressing you out or holding you back from living that life. Marci Grossman (32:04) I definitely agree with all of that. Scarlett The Biz Hippie (32:07) It's possible to live a life that you really love and enjoy, even if it doesn't feel that way, even if it feels like circumstances are preventing that from being the case. being somebody who used to feel trapped by money. and success and circumstances and felt like I couldn't live a life that I actually enjoyed. In fact, I hadn't even considered what a life I wanted to live even looked like. I didn't even know that was an option or something I could consider. Consider it, consider it and know that it's actually possible to make that happen. And if you're curious to learn more about, the way that I do this work, I have lots of valuable resources available to share with you, which you can check out on my website, thebizhippee.com. Marci Grossman (32:49) I will be sharing links to your website in the notes on the podcast so that people can find you if they're interested in finding about your various offerings. It's been so lovely talking to you, Scarlett, the Biz Hippie. I hope we catch up again another time. I appreciate your time. Listeners, I appreciate your time as well. This is... Money Marci and you've been listening to Marci Talks, Money and Life. You got this, see ya.