Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / The Worthiness Gap: Why You Can’t Outperform Your Relationship with Yourself | Ep. 106
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset. am Shaun Tucker, human performance scientist and authority architect. We're here in the living lab, documenting the struggle, the science and the shift for every high performance dad and founder who is ready to bridge the gap between their ambition and their presence. Today we're diving into a quote actually, this is from Ed Mylett. You can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. And you can't be yourself if you don't believe in yourself. This is to help you master the man underneath the performance. Let's get into it. I first heard that quote, must've been 2019, seven years ago, when I was only really just scraping the surface of what it meant to do personal development. I used to listen to Ed Mylet's podcast and I remember hearing that quote and part of me wanted to, wanted to even cry because some part of me did not believe in myself. Some part of me did not love myself because I didn't really believe in myself. And what's so upsetting about that? is that I wasn't myself. You can't have one without the other. Being around people that are themselves is the greatest gift and permission piece for you to be yourself. because what happens when they are around? people like them is it has a ripple effect of growth, of change, of expansion. which leads to more and more capacity, more and more fun, and also of course more and more growth, which I've already mentioned. But it's interesting what happens when we get caught up on the nuances or the things that we think we want, the things that we think we need. and get out of alignment with who we really are. Because if you're someone who has been in place and maybe you're going through that place now, where you feel out of alignment, because deep down, you actually don't believe in yourself. You're still trying to show your parents, your colleagues, your grandparents, whoever it is, maybe your brothers, maybe your siblings. just how good you are. And yet they're still not noticing. They're still not noticing how good you are. This has got nothing to do with them and everything to do with you and your relationship with yourself. Everyone has experiences in their life that they aren't proud of. Everyone holds guilt, shame. They've all done things. We've all done things that we're not proud of. But who's to say that those memories are even the real ones? Just because you remember it a specific way doesn't mean that it really happened that And yes, it might've shaped you to become the person you are today. and that you're ever actually grateful for that experience or memory. But yet, letting go seems so challenging, letting go seems so hard because deep down it's still coming from a lack. lack of strength. to get up and fight. when you'd rather sleep. I know those feelings. I know those things are easier to try and run away from. Trust me when I say this. easier to face them now than it is tomorrow. because whatever it is that you've been running away from. it's probably not as bad as what you think it is. because the mind will create stories around what really happened, what really unfolded. what happens to shame when it's witnessed is it dissolves. It dissolves completely. You'll still have a memory of it. That won't go. the emotional, the side of it, the feeling of it, that will dissolve. It won't have such a hold on you anymore. It will free you up. It will give you peace. It will give you space to let your body heal again. because you are worth it. You do deserve. to believe that you are worthy, that you are capable. and you deserve it because you do. You're here. The chances of you being here are so, so minuscule that if you really truly realized the chances of you existing right now, you wouldn't believe that. because it's such a small fraction. It's such a small chance. That little part of you I know is holding on. holding on to that hope that you'll find it within yourself. You'll finally see what I'm saying. because it is hard, is challenging to really be real with yourself. to really sit there, stay there. and see what's looking back. Because the truth is, the creator wouldn't have given you that path if it wasn't for you. If you couldn't stomach it. If you couldn't be with it. It was only given to you because you are deserving of it. You were deserving of holding that truth, that power to have the willingness to continue. You are strong, you are capable, and you are worthy. Even if you don't think so. even if you'll continue to try and prove that you are. you'll have to come to realize at some point that no matter how much you do it will never be enough. because you are enough already. So you'll never meet the expectation or the standard of being enough because it never can be. You're looking through the wrong lens. Because right now. You are not the body. You are not the mind. So what are you? If we took your body away, are you still there? If we took your mind away, are you still there? I'll let you sit with that one. because the truth is... The thing behind it all? That's who you really are. That's what makes being human the greatest gift. Because it's not about being superhuman. It's about being human. Is super. So if you found value in today's episode, all I ask is you to share it with one person. That is it for today's episode of The Reset. If you're ready to stop being a passenger in your own life and start being the architect of your legacy, head on over. Actually, I'll do you one better. and start being the architect. I want you to comment on DM reset and I will send you the seven day reset guide your way. Remember, most people wait for their life to change. We architect the choice. Change your state, choose your life. I am Shaun Tuckah and I'll see you in the next episode.