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700. Why Waiting to Feel Ready Keeps You Stuck · Be It Till You See It

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: When you wait and you're afraid to take action, it does make you feel safe, but waiting keeps your dreams safe and also keeps them stuck, which means it keeps you stuck.
• 0:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to the be it till you see it podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring.
• 0:19
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm also Logan, Ply's instructor and fitness business coach.
• 0:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've trained thousands of people around the world, and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt.
• 0:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: My friends, action brings clarity, and it's the antidote to fear.
• 0:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic, and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a practice, not a perfect, let's get started.
• 0:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Alright, be it babe, how are you?
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, welcome back to the VTC podcast.
• 0:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: This week, we ended up in an interview.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's me, both episodes, we're actually talking about messy action and, you know, we love messy action around here, because in the intro, if you're new to our podcast, sometimes we have interviews and recaps and lately we've been adding these solo episodes in and hopefully you're liking them and we'd love to hear topics that you want to have interviews on or that you want us to get some solo episodes on.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you want to hear my opinion on things, stories, things like that.
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's why we're doing this because people asked.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: Here's it.
• 1:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a recovering perfectionist in overachiever and that means that I try to do things way before I'm ready, but I didn't used to be that way.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I used to be someone who had to like make sure everything was in perfect order before I would do the thing, which actually just meant that I was honestly procrastinating because the reality is like ready.
• 1:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: Ready, being feeling ready is a myth.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, oftentimes when we feel ready, it's because the thing we want to do is no longer scary because it's no longer like we're the only one doing it.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, other people are doing it so much now it is feel safe and then it's like, well, do we miss our boat?
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do we miss our chance?
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: The arguments would be that no, you should just do the thing that you're the only person who can do what you do the way you want to do it.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if you're waiting to feel ready,
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: you'll be waiting a long time.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then really, we've missed the opportunity to do the thing because there are lessons that we will learn in our quest to feel ready to actually get there.
• 2:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so to be honest, we know ready is a myth.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we also know that if readiness was required, like no one ever began.
• 2:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: Because being beginner is scary.
• 2:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: And when we see people who are beginners, we see them make mistakes.
• 2:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we don't go, ugh, what a beginner.
• 2:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: We're like, oh my god, look at them doing that thing.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: And no one truly ever feels 100% ready.
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's hard because in social media, these days, everyone looks like everything's curated and perfectly ready.
• 2:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: But everyone's actually like scared.
• 2:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone's doing things with like, like, oh, as they go.
• 2:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: And they just make it look like it's ready to go.
• 2:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: But inside, like nothing's ever ready.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: We just launched something today.
• 3:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: And like,
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: The link works for some people in the others.
• 3:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: That doesn't mean we wouldn't prepare like a fuck ton, but weird things happen.
• 3:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: A little tech-remlins get in there.
• 3:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I just share that with you because it's so easy to look at other people going, oh my god, they have it all together.
• 3:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: So when they start suddenly new, of course, it's ready to go.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, everyone is doing the best they can, and then you won't actually know that things are ready to go until you get out there and you do it.
• 3:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so you may as well just take the messy accident because you'll learn the most in the first place.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: Now, a few weeks back, we had a series on being stuck, and I find a lot of people are stuck because they actually are wanting to do something, but they're waiting to feel ready.
• 3:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, in that series, we talked about, like, motivation isn't the problem.
• 3:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's this, we feel stuck because we're not moving forward towards the thing we want to do, but we're not moving forward because we don't feel ready.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we're like, put ourselves in this position and we actually make it on our brain that we have to have motivation to get ready.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we actually, I heard someone say, we've be ready to be ready.
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I don't even know if that's possible.
• 3:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have to be willing to be imperfect.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: And to take an action based on the information that we have and then reflect correct and continue.
• 4:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: right.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: So take the first step and reflect and correct and continue.
• 4:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm thinking of like one of our very first guests.
• 4:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: He's like, you're never going to see the top of the stair, but you can say the first one.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then when you take the first step, you'll actually see the second step.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: And that's kind of how everyone does it.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone does it, right?
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: I have I recently talked about how I have a teacher training program that I'm creating.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I've never
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen others.
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've never created my own and it's hard and I like going, oh, I don't like how this is not organized.
• 4:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: But to be honest, I have to move forward the beta group because the only way I'm going to organize it in the right flow is to try to put it in a flow.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right?
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: That's the only way.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So anyways, a lot of people also wait, I just want to say if you are waiting to feel ready, oftentimes it's a protection thing.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: Right, you have a fear of judgment, feel failure, fear of success, you know, a lot of different fears, fear of responsibility.
• 4:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, what if it does work out?
• 4:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what if the teacher training program I am really excited about does work out?
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: What kind of responsibility do I have now?
• 5:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like sometimes they have a fear of that.
• 5:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: So then we make up reasons and excuses why we're not ready to move forward because that fear is legitimate.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's totally real.
• 5:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so, I think it also just comes back to like, you know what your nervous system feels safe doing.
• 5:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: Some people feel safe by the way to do their pants and some people don't feel safe that way.
• 5:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: And you know what, look, it's a human need to need certainty and that the things are gonna work out.
• 5:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's also human need to need uncertainty.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: And have a surprise as an experiment.
• 5:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: So just know that you need both of those things.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, a lot of times we're protecting ourselves.
• 5:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: that fear of judgment, what people think if I fail, and so honestly, if you don't start, then you can't fail, right?
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: But also, if you don't start something, then like, there's parts of you, the potential, the beat till you see it you, but also doesn't get to happen.
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: And everything is moving forward.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: So you have to as well, right?
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I think when you wait
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: but waiting keeps your dreams safe and also keeps them stuck, which means it keeps you stuck.
• 6:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: The other reason that you could be afraid of taking messy action is hello my ADHD ladies, lots of ideas.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: No clear place to start and you end up in a free space and tell like some thing motivate you and the end up in this like focus mode of like, that's just amazing to do.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so then the reality is you shouldn't lay with yourself at stuck because you're just overloaded.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: I do have a thing for this.
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if I have an ID, I put an ID as parking lot.
• 6:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like on a big post it on my back of my door.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if I look at the next day and I know what it is, then I can keep working on it.
• 6:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if I look at the next day and I don't know what it is, and I'm not as excited.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's like a 24 hour rule of ADHD people because we are dopamine seekers and I will say that if you have ADHD, there is a good chance you are going to be good at taking the action because of the dopamine kick, but also because you have so many ideas you could get stuck or you could use other ideas to distract you from the thing that you're really wanting to do because you don't feel ready.
• 7:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: So look at that.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: We have ADHD as its own conundrum, but overwhelm us real.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: you know, and I want to acknowledge that because I don't want you walking away from this episode going, I'm supposed to do this when I don't feel ready, but I have all these other things.
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, there might be several reasons why you're feeling stuck and I've tried to take messy action.
• 7:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so we have to unravel like an onion.
• 7:37
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's the thing that's keeping you stuck?
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: What's the thing that's keeping you?
• 7:41
  [SPEAKER_01]: From taking the first step forward to see if you like the thing.
• 7:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: Sometimes you have ideas on things you want to do or be.
• 7:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't actually start working on it, you might not realize that you don't like it.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like I've done some things.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I was really, really proud of in the time and then the longer we do it, the more I'm like, I'm not really into this anymore.
• 8:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: I want to make changes.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: But if I'd never taken the messy action the first place, I'd always go, oh, somebody, I wish I'd done that thing.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Well, now that I have more information, I'm glad I did the thing, and I'm glad it's leaving me over here.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And so I would just say, like, your dreams will be more curated, and more unique to you, and more supportive to you when you take the messy action.
• 8:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Another reason why a lot of people are afraid to take messy action is the perfect timing illusion.
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll start blank when and here's the deal.
• 8:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: There's no perfect timing.
• 8:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like that old joke that like you make a plan and then God laughs.
• 8:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I remember in 2019, Brad and I being in Las Vegas and really having a good time in the downtown area, Art Sister, which was really close to our house now.
• 8:43
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we're like, wow, we could really live here.
• 8:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: Well, and we had friends who owned homes there.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: And we're like, we could own a home in Las Vegas.
• 8:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: That is crazy.
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: We should do that in 2022 or 2023.
• 8:53
  [SPEAKER_01]: In fact, let's make sure that as we finish out what we plan for 2020, we are keeping in mind what we want to do in 2022 and 2022 and 2023.
• 9:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: Great.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: So then what happened in 2020?
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we ended up moving to Vegas because that was the perfect timing.
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: Can you imagine if we stuck with our plan?
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, we took a messy action.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: We moved.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, the reality is everyone took messy action in 2020 because it's a chat to do.
• 9:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: That was the only option, right?
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I hope that that story helps you because like, yeah, it's good to have a plan.
• 9:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's good to do your research.
• 9:24
  [SPEAKER_01]: And then sometimes you have to just move before you're ready.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, if you're feeling stuck,
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get it, but it's just really a lack of movement.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's a lack of taking a step.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Action does bring clarity and sand to don't to fear.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's why it's in the intro of the show.
• 9:46
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's so funny that we're doing this episode like after 700 episodes because the reality is is like the intro is this episode.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: We often say I feel stuck, but really, it's left the emotion and more of a reality.
• 9:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Like are we just taking a step forward?
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: How we've done one thing towards the thing we wanna do?
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: especially for my ADHD people, sometimes we just need to start with one thing and then it like is the domino effect that we're looking for, right?
• 10:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I will say for my overthinkers, it's really easy to try to think your way forward, but you gotta move your way forward.
• 10:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: you know, action is more than what's in your mind.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's like a physical embodiment.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's something that you do with your feet in your hands.
• 10:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's sending the email.
• 10:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's making the phone call.
• 10:28
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's buying the URL.
• 10:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's hiring the thing.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's exploring.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's doing the research, right?
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Do the research.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_01]: You know, I want to say, I get it.
• 10:39
  [SPEAKER_01]: I get, I get also the comfort and feeling
• 10:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: because then you always have a reason for why you have that move forward.
• 10:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: And if you have a reason for even move forward, then you can't fail.
• 10:52
  [SPEAKER_01]: But I also want you to know it's one step at a time always.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_01]: Being able to tell you see it, it's one step at a time.
• 10:59
  [SPEAKER_01]: Messy action is one step at a time.
• 11:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not saying below everything up, right?
• 11:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Good morning goodness.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think I've talked about this on podcast before, but it took me a year to break up with a relationship I had before Brad.
• 11:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: I year.
• 11:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: because I was like, well, it's not the right time.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_01]: I don't have their amount of money, and that's right.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: Couldn't blow my life up a year before.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: I did not have the situation to land on.
• 11:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I worked, I tried to figure that out.
• 11:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: I worked on the relationship and tried to figure out what I would do if the relationship didn't exist.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: I got myself ready to be ready, and then,
• 11:32
  [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of blew it up a little bit, but I did some messy action, but I didn't blow it up completely because I had a landing pad, but we'll just say, like, don't punish yourself.
• 11:40
  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't harp on yourself if you were feeling like, oh, my god, Leslie called me out.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've been waiting to be ready for two years now.
• 11:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: I've wasted all the time.
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_01]: No, you haven't.
• 11:49
  [SPEAKER_01]: You have gotten more clarity.
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: And this episode is hitting you when you need to hear it that you are like, oh, my god, okay, I'm going to do the thing.
• 11:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to take the messy action.
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, the action is one step.
• 12:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not 20 steps.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's one.
• 12:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: So if waiting to take messy action, when you take action has been keeping you stuck and we're acknowledging that now and we're on the same page now then the real question is like, how do we actually start moving forward, especially when you don't feel ready.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that we're going to dive in deeper to how to start moving forward in the next episode because we're keeping these bite sized.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: We are.
• 12:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I hope that that is helpful because it's nice to have an hour and a half long episode of it's inspiring.
• 12:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And of course, I want you inspired.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also, it's nice to have a bite side episode that just goes, oh my God, I have been living in fear, making excuses, researching myself to death, waiting to feel ready.
• 12:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: And now I know I just need to take a next step.
• 12:47
  [SPEAKER_01]: So on Thursday, we're going to talk about how to do that.
• 12:50
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not even deeper.
• 12:51
  [SPEAKER_01]: So I would love to hear more about what you've been wanting to do.
• 12:54
  [SPEAKER_01]: What have you been waiting to feel ready to do?
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_01]: That could be a first next step in getting your momentum going.
• 13:00
  [SPEAKER_01]: Share with me at pots and into thebipod.com.
• 13:01
  [SPEAKER_01]: So that's questions.
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: Let us know.
• 13:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: This is the episode that inspired you.
• 13:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: And let us know what your win is.
• 13:06
  [SPEAKER_01]: Your win could just be like, I listened to this episode.
• 13:08
  [SPEAKER_01]: And I am ready to feel ready.
• 13:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Thank you so much.
• 13:11
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's been this to a friend who's feeling stuck.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: And until next time, be it till you see it.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's all I got for this episode of The Beat Tell You See at Podcasts.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review.
• 13:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts.
• 13:27
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at The Beat Pot on Instagram.
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_01]: I would love to know more about you.
• 13:33
  [SPEAKER_01]: Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it.
• 13:35
  [SPEAKER_01]: Help us and others Beat Tell You See it.
• 13:38
  [SPEAKER_01]: Have an awesome day.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_01]: Be it till you see it is a production of the Bloom Podcast Network.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_01]: If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at plus one three one oh nine oh five five three four or send a DM on Instagram at be it pod.
• 13:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Leslie Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: It is transcribed, produced, and edited by the epic team at disenio.co.
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Our theme music is by L.E.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist John Franco Chilfe.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_01]: Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website.
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And finally, the Meredith route for keeping us all on point and on time.