Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / S3 #9 The Relationship Fire Drill

Transcript

S3 #9 The Relationship Fire Drill · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with our radio. Let's make podcasts sister today. I'm Ben. Hey,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: welcome to the Almost Famous podcast on I Heart Radio. Yeah,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: we have one of my favorite people ever and the
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Bachelor franchise. We're gonna make podcast history right now with
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: this interview. Andrew fire Stone welcome. Oh my goodness, it
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: is going to be making podcast history. The first time
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: that anyone's ever dialed in on a rotary phone. Okay,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: we just talked over each other totally right there. It's alright, Andrew,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: because Bobby is that same joke already, So you too,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: grandpas can have time to get God. Well, he's older
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: than I am even sell listen, I give him swirlies
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: all the time. Um. So wait, Andrew, tell us a
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: little bit here. You how how do hands know? You
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: catch us up to who Andrew Firestone is? So? I
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: was on the Bachelor back in two thousand and three,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: and uh, so I I know you guys weren't even
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: born yet. Um, and it was. I was the third
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: iteration of the Bachelor, so um it was. The first
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: was Aaron and sorry, uh, the second was Alex's first.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Aaron was second, and then I was I was after
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: I was after that starts it does? I mean, yeah,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I was just waking up from my afternoon nap, so
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I was I was on the show a long long
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: time ago. And um, and yeah that was that. That
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: was sort of that was sort of bitten. But I
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: think at that point the show had kind of started
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to really kind of hit its mark in terms of
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: people following it and watching it. And um, it was
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: it was. It was pretty wild. Um, you know, being
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: a twenty six year old kid, you know, get a
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: chance to run around with twenty five girls. Uh, it
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: was pretty It was pretty insane because nobody knew what
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: was going to happen. Is your season on like iTunes?
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I think they're all on iTunes? You were twenty six.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: That's pretty young for a bachelor. Ben was six? Is
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: that is that right? Yeah? I might have just starting
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: the mass backwards. But you know, that's funny. I didn't
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: know that any of my season actually still existed because
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: because I've never really seen it anywhere. I have like
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: literally old DVD copies of it that my mom you know,
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: you know, recorded, but that was about it. So I'm
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: mortified to know that it still exists and it still lives. Oh,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I'm sure we could find a lot. I would do
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: anything to watch Tina fabulous again. Just talking about being fabulous.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: You guys got it. Everybody's gotta dig back and watch
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: these old episodes. They're like nothing you can imagine. Yeah,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: it was I've I was convinced my kids and my
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: wife that that that I have destroyed every single copy
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: uh in existence. So I need to pay more money
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: to to Apple to get that you know burned. Before
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: we catch up on your your life now, Ashton, I
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: have a few questions for you still about your life
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: as the Bachelor. So can we tap back about twenty
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: years ago? So on your time in the batchelor? Did
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: you get engaged? I did? I did? Um, you know,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I was you know when I was on, there was
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: a young lady named Jen Scheft and we got we
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: got engaged at the end of the show and I'm
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: just like this hopeless romantic and you know I still
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: end to this day. And you know when it got
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: to you know, went through that whole you know, for me,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: you know it was it was about two and a
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: half months or so. Um, you know, for the in
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: the sun, we started till the time we finished. And UM,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: you know, it was going through that with her. You know,
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: not only had I fallen in love with her, but
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: you know, we had this really unique and different experience
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: that he probably could never quite explain to anybody else.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: And UM, and so it was, you know, it was
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: it was very very you know, it was romantic and
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: it was exciting and UM, and it was and I
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: thought it was perfect. Um. You know, then asked forward
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: about nine or ten months later. Um, she had been
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: living out in Chicago, and we moved her out across
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: country and out to San Francisco, where I was living.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: And UM, you know, real life got in the way
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: nine months later, ten months later or whatever it was.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: And um, and and we decided that it wasn't it
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: wasn't meant to be. But I God, I don't regret
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: even one second of it. It was such an amazing
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: and crazy and weird experience. UM, not just the show,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: but all you know, the relationship afterwards. Um that you know,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I looked back really fondly on that experience. Did she
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: become the bachelorette? She did? She did, UM, A couple
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: of seasons later, or maybe the it was it was.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: It was a bit a bit afterwards she did go
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: back and then she was the beschelor. Right, yeah, did
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: you watch her season? Uh? You know what ironies of
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: all ironies. So I went, um and I was on
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: the Men Tell All show or you know when when
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: they go back and kind of in retrospect on the show.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I went out there and to be on the show
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: and kind of give my perspective. And the funniest thing
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: happened after that show. Um, I was on my way
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: back to the airport. A friend of mine asked me
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: to go and meet her at a at a at
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: a restaurant. I did, and that was the day that
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I met my wife. And I mean it was so funny. Yeah,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: it was his February of two thousand and five, and
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: that was the day that I that I met my
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: future wife and mother and my kids. So I mean,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: in that weird way, the Bachelor has has infiltrated every
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: part of my romantic life. And oh, sorry, I mean
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to cut you off. Do you think that doing The
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Bachelor made you a better husband in your marriage now?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: And I think Ben might find that this answer interesting. Yeah,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it maybe a better husband but
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I will say that it did is it made me
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: really focus so much on the things that I was
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: looking for in a in a partner, in a you know,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: and a a wife, and you know, as a whatever
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I was when I when I did the show, there
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: wasn't a lot of time that you really do kind
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: of introspective thinking about what is it that you want,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: you know, for the rest of your life. You're really
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: really living in the moment. I mean, you know, at
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: that age, you're kind of bulletproof, you know, single, and
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: you know, to go through that that whole you know,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: the shooting and filming, but but more it was all
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: that kind of quiet downtime when you know, when you're
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: getting asked these questions and you know, the and the
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and the women on the other side are peppering you
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: with questions, you really start to focus on what it
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: is that you find important. And so I think that,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: you know, I thought that it had made me ready
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: for you know, for for Jen and for you know,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: what was to come there. But you know, it's what
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: it ultimately did was was make me really aware of
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: the exact person that I was looking for. And when
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I met my my wife of Anna, it was like
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: everything that I had talked about, all that all those
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: hours that I had spent thinking about what it was
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: that I was looking for all kind of came and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I was aware and and ready for it. And I
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: think if I hadn't gone through that process with the Bachelor,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: perhaps I could have missed it and that would have
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: been a tragedy. I mean, that would have been that
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: would have been you know, really really sad. But maybe
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: because of all that time I spent, you know, talking
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: about what it was that was important to me, what
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: it was it was important to me for a for
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: a spouse, and all those sorts of things, I think
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: that it made me really really ready for that moment
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: when when it happened, when when you know, kind of
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: true love, you know, finally finally happened for me. That's
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: such a cool story. Thank you for telling us that
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: you know it. But it's you know, and and I'm
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: sure Ben can can sympathize. You know, you have all
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: those hours where you know, not on these exciting dates,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: but then you're back you know, in the in the
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: the middle of the night, when you kind of staring
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: at the ceiling you're thinking about, gosh, what am I
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: doing what am I looking for? And um, and I
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: think that having you know, gone through that just really
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: made me ready. It's interesting that you said I just
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: kind of sparked my something that came up this last
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: about week and a half go for me. I found
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: my journal from The Bachelor, and in this journal, I
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: wrote down my thoughts every night on my dates that
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I had and the women that are part of those dates,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and what I thought about each of them, and and
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: the things that I was kind of struggling with and
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: doing with even with Lauren, Like towards the end was like, Hey,
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: these are the things that are concerning to me or
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: thinks things I'm really excited about. And Kaylin Jojo were
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: part of that too. And is this the first time
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: you read it back? It is the first time I've
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: read it back. I was cleaning out my house and
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I had never thought of it. Um, But you're right, Andrew.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I mean I processed during The Bachelor at a deeper level,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: especially when it came to my relationships than I ever
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: have in my life. And I think today I know
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: myself better and I know what I'm looking for more
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: based on that experience. Yea, I agree, and it's it's
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: kind of it's it's a weird, um exercise to go
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: through and it's not one that people usually you know,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: do at at you know, you know, at that age. UM.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: But I think it's incredibly valuable and you know, but
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I think that one
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: of the things that makes you know the bats are
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: so compelling you not not for having been on it,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: but no watching it now or whatever, is that I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: think that everybody that the watches that are appreciated, appreciates
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: the show is a little bit of a hopeless romantic
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: and just has has that that belief that whether it
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: happens you know, at a coffee shop or on television
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: or wherever it is, that that possibility for love is
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: always out there and you but the most important ingredient
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: which I came to find where you have to be
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: ready to accept it. You have to ready. You'll be
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: looking for it, certainly, but you also have to be
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: ready to to accept that into your life and and
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: make the you know, the certain sacrifices and you know
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: the energy and effort it takes to make all those
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: things work. And um, and I think that's one of
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: the things that's The most compelling about The Bats or
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: no other show is that it's just it's it's the curiosity.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: You know, are those people in that episode and in
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: this series, are there two people that are like minded?
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Are they both looking for the same thing? And if
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: it happens, it's magic. Yeah? I mean so on this
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: podcast we do like to to kind of pick out
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: some some relationship advice because a lot of people email
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: us and call on about relationship advice. And that is
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: one right there, A nice little nugget from Andrew Firestone. Um,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: if you can learn everything you want, you can process
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: as much as you want, but unless you're willing to
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: accept it that nothing will ever happen. Um. And on
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: the show we can see that. You know, we have
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: a season coming up here soon with Ari. Have you
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: met Ari? You know I have, so I've met him
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: years ago, Um, through through car racing and through Firestone,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I had met I'd met um Ari give it a
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: years ago and um, you know, and then obviously he
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: was on the show after after I was and uh,
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: it would be would be really it would be cool
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: perspective to see somebody that's you know, a little bit
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: older and has gone through it to be able to
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: go and go back and um, and I'm just so
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: intrigued to see kind of what his experiences and how
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: how it turns out for him. Uh, Andrew, you are
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: of Firestone Tires. Back in the day in two thousand three,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: they used to pick out the Bachelor based on not
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: who the fan favorite was from this season before. How
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: did they approach you and what were you thinking when
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: they did so? Um? Back then it was you know,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: people would submit videos or you know, applicating some sort
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: of stubmental process for it. And and I hadn't I
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: didn't do any of that. I actually hadn't had any
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: awareness of the show. You know, it really wasn't all
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: that popular up until kind of Aaron Berghi's season and
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: then you know, for the first season it was it
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: kind of it gained momentum and then kind of exploded
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: a little bit later on. And so I didn't really
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: wasn't aware of it. So I had gotten a call
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: at my desk literally, you know, out of the blue,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: from somebody from um, you know, production, and and you know,
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: I thought it was a prank. Couldn't figure out what
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: they were talking about. You know, they were saying you
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: know what you know girls and you know, hot tubs
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: and champagne and all the like, and I said, this
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: has got to be some kind of joke. And it
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: was literally you know, I kind of put them off
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: and had them They end up calling back and um
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: and explained it to me and sent me, you know,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: copies of the show and um. And that was kind
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: of how the whole thing started. Was totally out of
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: the blue. Um. And you know, I think that at
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: that point, um, you know, they were looking for probably
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: somebody that had kind of an interesting background. Um. And
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you know, again, there wasn't enough shows to have people
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: from you know, previous seasons to be on there. Um,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: so it was a little bit I think they were
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: just trying to create some sort of you know, interest
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: in you know, somebody with a different background. And that
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: was kind of how it came to be. But when
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: I went on the show, literally nobody, you know, I
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: didn't know obviously any any of the girls, and none
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: of the girls know who I was either. So that
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: you know, and both of you guys understand the moment
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: when you walk out of the limos that was totally
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: totally you know, weird and awkward. Even more so because
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: nobody knew who they were meeting and um, and so
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: it was. It wasn't actually until you know, laid into
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: the first night that anyone kind of figured out who
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: was who and um, and so I was just petrified
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: that one of the girls was going to walk out
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: of limo kind of take a look at me, and
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: get right back in and decided to drive off. That
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: was my That was my biggest fear. And because there
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: wasn't there wasn't that you know, Oh, I'm going on
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: this show because I know I'd love to meet this
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: certain person or type of person. Yeah, that's so so weird.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I've told the story multiple times, but I never sent
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: in my contract until they told me who the bachelor
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: was because I wasn't about to like uproot my life
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: for somebody who I didn't think was quality. No, I
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: totally get it, and you know, so bid it was.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: And actually there was one one girl on the show
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: that ended up just leaving on her own volition. And
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I think it was like in the second road sermon
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: and she's like, this isn't this isn't what I want
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: to do, or you know, I think she put it
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: nicer than that, but happed. What do you mean. She
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: came up to me at the I tried to give
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: her Rose just go to the road series said yeah,
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm gonna go home. She blamed on stress
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: and I was like, girl stress. You actually had to
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Lauren Bees. He had four Laurence in the entire season. Andrew,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: did you have any like Sally f like or you
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: had to use their light? Sorry? Well, back then, Sally
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: was will pop name because Ben Higgins for the longest
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: time was Ben h Yeah, there was there. There may
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: have been, I mean, all the names back there. It was.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: It was totally confusing to try and keep everybody, you
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: know straight, So I had, you know, a little little
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: cheat notes in the first couple of Rose ceremonies, so
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I made sure, you know, picked the right person and
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: got their names correct. Um, you know what, Andrew, I
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: think it was that Ben didn't have to do that
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: because Ben remembered every but his name night one. I
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: was just too nervous. I did, I really did, I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I and Andrew, you and I can talk about it
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: on night one. I feel like the show would love
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: for you to mess up a name, so they don't
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: really give you a ton of help, um, and so
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: on night one, I was doing like memory games. When
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I would take a little break to go to drink
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: of water, I'd be like, all right, you know, Sarah
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: likes alligators. Her last name's Audrey. Like I would be
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: connecting all these dots and like trying to remember their
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: names because I was so nervous I was gonna sit
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: down with one of them and They're gonna ask me
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: for their name, and I'd be like, yeah, I don't,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but we're gonna date, like let's just
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: make out really, And so I actually remember a moment.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: It was one of the Laurens. Um, we sat down
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: a couch and she goes, what's my name? And I
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: literally blanked. But I remember meeting so many Laurens at
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: the first the night that was just like I got
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: like a chance. Of course your name is Laurence. She goes,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: that's so sweet to remember, And I was like, I'm
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: good at this. That the women that came on your
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: season were obviously very lucky, but your wife is even
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: luckier and you're a lucky man. Is well, I've met her,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I've i've met your kids. Um, you have just an awesome,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: awesome family. Can you catch us up with what you're
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: doing today? Like where is your family at? So it's
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: funny the all the things that that I had talked
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: about back once upon a time when I was on
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: The Bachelor kind of all somehow came to fruition. You know.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I talked about, you know, being able to move back
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: to Santa Barbara where I grew up someday you know,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: and you know, start my family there, and and all
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: those things you know kind of came to fruition. It
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: took a circuitous route. But um, you know I met
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: my wife, like I had said, um, you know, after
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: the taping of the Chauffridge for gen and we got
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: married about two years later. Um, and eventually moved back
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: to Santa Barbara. And now we have three young children.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I have a son who's eight, daughter who's six, and
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: then another son who's three, and um, you know, we're
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: back living in Santa Barbara where I grew up. And
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: so you know, I mean, couldn't be more you know,
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: just thrilled and lucky, blessed to have you know, all
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: these things in my life. Um. You know Vanna you
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: know as my as my wife and these three healthy,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: happy kids that drive me crazy and you know run
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: me ragged. Um, But it's you know, that's kind of
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: where you know where you know, the things that I
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: had thought about and things that I had pictured when
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: I was you know, on the show all kind of
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: came to be. And so there's something to be said
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: about you know, kind of hoping for something, wishing for something,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: but then you know, visualizing and making it happen, you know,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: whether it's in business or education, but in relationships as well.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: I think that you know that you kind of keep
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: kind of keep that kind of focused on things that
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: are important to you and and you know, with some luck,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: they all kind of they came to came to pass.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: So is he is? He really is like one of
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: the best people I ever met. I've had a blast
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: with them, and I've been around Andrew. We did play
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: golf at Jayde Tanner's wedding together, and then we did
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: Good Morning America together just just a few months ago,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: as Nick got prepared for his season. Um, we kind
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: of sat on there and surprised him. Uh, Andrew, you
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: are you really are one of the best people I've
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: ever met. Before we send you off, I want to
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: give you a chance here. You're in in the brewery world,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: correct you. My brother my brother so, my brother is
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: has a has a brewing company called firesun Walker Brewing Company.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: But I'm I'm in I'm a I'm in the hotel business.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: So I have hotels up and down the coast. We've
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: got one here in Santa Barbara. We're just about finished
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: on a hotel in San Louis Obispo. We have a
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: property up in um Morgan Hill, which is just south
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: of San Jose, California. And then we're under construction up
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: in Santa Rosa, which is obviously got hit really hard
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: with the fires recently. And um um, you know, thoughts
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: and prayers to all the people up there rebuilding, and
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: we're you know, we're part of that effort to get
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Santa Rosa back up on its feet and moving again.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: So my business is, uh, you know, we we grew
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: up in the wine business, feel very involved. We you know,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: we grow grapes make wine up in the Saint Niz Valley.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: But I kind of flex a little my own entrepreneurial
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: spirit and UM started my business a number of years ago.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: And um which hotel in Santa Barbara. It's it's on
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: State Streets at Laquinta Hotel and sweets right up on
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: if you know Santa Barbara. State Streets kind of the
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: main drag right downtown. So we're right here in Santa Barbara. Awesome. Andrew,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: appreciate you, man, Hey, thanks for coming on on the
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: Almost famous podcast. You are truly one heck of a
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: good person. We appreciate it. You know why you say
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: that just because I let you cheat and golf, that
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: was why I'm always, you know, eternally in your good graces.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: Is because I let you win. I should say, yeah,
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: we should playing golf, and Andrew, before you go, is
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: that the same hotel of the Kardashian stay in recent episode? Uh? No,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: the Kardashians were staying I think at the built More
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: for seasons. That was not my hotel, I don't. We
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: have never had the Kardashians as far as I know,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: at any of our hotels close. We're really close there. Hey,
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: he can dream, he can dream exactly, all right, cheers.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: What a great piece of man meat, Andrew Firestone is
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: just one hardy piece of man meat. Speaking of meat steaks, well,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: just like that. Here comes to holidays, and this is
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: actually a great gift for someone who has everything, and
• 20:17
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  Speaker 1: about Omaha Steaks. Oma Steaks showed it to my door
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• 20:30
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• 20:32
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  Speaker 1: was able to feed my sister and I for over
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: a week. So good. I had like grilled chicken, salads,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: and I made tacos, I made burgers, steak and whenever
• 20:50
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• 20:57
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• 22:06
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• 22:10
  Speaker 1: famous and get off. That's Omaha Steaks dot com. Oh
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: M A H A S T E A k s
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: dot com. That was hard for me, and use the
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: code almost famous. Today, I thought it was pretty cool
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: that Omaha Steaks was a sponsor Amy, because you know
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: how they've always had them as the gift when you
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: call into Kelly and Ryan. Yeah, it's like the trivia
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: gift like that for the person at home. Yeah, you
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: feel like we're making it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And they're
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: so good. You have the biggest They're like they and me.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: Andy's man like send them to the all day long. Ashuley,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: we we have to catch up a little bit on
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: some recent Bachelor news. We spoke about it two weeks ago. UM,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: one of the former producers from the Bachelor franchise, UM
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: make claims against some of the producers on the show
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: for sexual harassment, and and during that you and I
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: both uh did not know a lot about it. Our
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: our episode was kind of tape on the day it
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: came out, and so to get the most info we could,
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: we reached out to Ashley from the Hollywood Reporter, which
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: also was with us during the Karen and Tomorrio situation,
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: and we have her back today to kind of catch
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: us up on everything current with these claims. Actually you're
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: out there, Hi, Welcome back to the Almost Famous podcast.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much for having me so kind of like
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: we did last time, can you just catch us up
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: on everything that's happened with this producer and the show
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: since the last time we talked okay. So the latest
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: claim comes from back Eastinhoak, who worked on the franchise
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: on a couple of different shows, and she says that
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: she was harassed at work by some of the producers
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: on the series who were asked in her very graphic
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: questions about her personal life, specifically about her sex life
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: that she was uncomfortable with, and when she complained about it,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: she was um not hired back for another season. So
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: she's doing for wrongful termination and a bunch of other claims,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: basically saying that you know, she was retaliated against for
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: bringing up her complaints, and so since that has been public,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: what has happened? I know I saw as I was
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: kind of preparing for this. She has done a couple interviews.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I started with The l A Times and also Megan Kelly.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: What has been said during those interviews Basically she's echoing
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: a lot of the stories from her complaints, just it's
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: in her own words instead of in her attorneys. So
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: she basically says she knew sex is a part of
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: this show, but she didn't expect that to extend to
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: personal questions about her life behind scenes. I want to ask,
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: because I was listening to actually a radio show UM
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: a few weeks back, and and so what she says
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: is that some of the preachers on the show were
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: very personal in asking her questions about her sex life,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: about her personal life, and she felt uncomfortable and at
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: the moment, and I just needed I want to get
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: a little clarity when it comes to your workplace environment
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: when you start to feel uncomfortable, is that terms for
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: sexual harassment or what exactly? How do you define that?
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: It depends. It's actually a pretty complicated issue. Warner Brothers
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: has been here before. About a decade ago, an assistant
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: on Friends filed a kind of similar lawsuit where she
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: said she was uncomfortable with a lot of the very
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: sexual conversations that were happening in the Friends rider room,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: and that case actually made it up to the California
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: Supreme a word, and there they said that, you know,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: state law doesn't necessarily outlaw vulgar language or conduct that
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: offends someone. But the major difference between that situation and
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: this situation is the woman who suited over Friends, none
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: of the comments were directed at her, she was just
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: witnessing them, whereas in this case, these comments were directed
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: at Becky and it seems like, um, once they realized
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: she was embarrassed by them and uncomfortable by them, it
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: sort of became kind of a game. But that doesn't
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: necessarily mean that it rises to the level of sexual her.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: And that's also the version of the story, just to
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: be clear, that's her version, whereas the other version is
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: totally different. Hey and Ashley, Um, I'm assuming things are
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: going to get even murkier on a show like The Bachelor,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: where it's a kind of a family environment. You get
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: to be really close friends with the cast, You're traveling
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: with them, you're living with them for like two months
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: in different hotel rooms on a whole bunch of planes.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: So like it's a weird place where work and friendship
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: in life kind of all merge into one. I'm also
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: curious about on the clock, off the clock? Does that
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: impact anything that's interesting because I don't I don't know
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: if they're ever off the clock, if they're like in
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: a hotel room, because we're kind of seven production. Actually,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: what do you what do you think? So we have
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: a few questions questions. I know we're thrown out you
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: there is the enirement of the family kind of style.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: You're living together. Does that change things? Is there an
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: issue with when you're working when you're not working? Can
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: you kind of dissect that? Well, you can make the
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: argument that if you're dealing with a supervisor, you're never
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: off the clock in terms of employment based claims when
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: you're with that person, um, just because of the power
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: dynamic there. So I'm sure someone would argue that even
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: if this was made, you know, at a at a
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: restaurant when everybody was on a dinner break or whatever,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: that she could potentially make an argument that, yeah, but
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: these people were still my bosses and it was still
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: in appropriate. But at the same time, Warner Brothers said
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: that they investigated her clients, they took it seriously, and
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: they found nothing wrong. Um. So it's interesting. This is
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: going to be a really fun one to watch. Unfortunately,
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: we're not going to get to watch any of it
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: because they've already filed emotion to move this into arbitration,
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: or they've made a request with an arbitrator to handle
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: the case. Fright. Megan Kelly addressed that on her show
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: that when you're an employee, a lot of cases you
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: agree to arbitration in in incidents like this, Yeah, in
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: almost every case. What does that mean. It means that
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: any fights have to be made behind closed doors in
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: front of an arbitrator who's usually a retired judge, that
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: keeps everything out of the public eye, including the result.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Those results are generally confidential also, and these provisions are
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: inserted into just about every entertainment employment contract, and people
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: agree to them because they have to, because if you
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: don't want to do your job, there are a hundred
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: people staying behind you who want to do it and
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: will agree to sign this. I have a question about
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: sexual assault and sexual harassment lawsuits. Um. Warner Brothers, of
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: course said that there's no proof. When is there ever
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: proof in this particular case, when we're dealing with harassment.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: It wasn't two people alone in a room, so this
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: isn't that, he said. She said, there were plenty of witnesses,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: so obviously, unless it's one of these things was caught
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: plunks video, there's not like definitive outside proof. But I'm
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: guessing that the other people in the room, the balance
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: is going to tip to one side or the other. Okay,
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: so not to back check too much, but you said
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: Warner Brothers investigated the situation. They claim that there was
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: no wrongdoing. Um what is that? I mean? I guess
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: without going like what does that mean? What are they
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: saying happen? Then that these questions were asking it was okay,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: these questions were never asked. Um, there is no uncomfortability
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: like you know she was let let go? Uh in fairness?
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Like what what exactly if you break that down, what
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: do they claiming happening? My guests would be and this
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: is just a guest based on how past claims like
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: these have gone, is that they determined that any of
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: these conversations that happened were part of the job. You're
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: dealing with a show that deals with sex, and it
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: makes sense for the creative people who work on that
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: show to talk about sex. Obviously, we're talking about reality
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: TV and not a scripted series here, Um, so it's
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: a little bit different. But I think that is probably
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: what they discovered is Okay, we're dealing with a show
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: about sexual relationships. It is it's not far afield for
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: our producers to talk about sexual relationships while we're being
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: on the show. Okay, it's again, you know, we kind
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: of go back. Remember we're talking about the krin Indamorro
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: situation and everything that's kind of surrounding this franchise right now. Uh,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: like you said, we might not hear anything else about
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: this for months, We might never hear anything about this again.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: So the public really will really will just uh know
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: the claims that we may see these interviews, and now
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: everything is going to be settled outside the public eye
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and we'll just be moving forward. The franchise wants to
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: move forward, I would assume so. But because the people
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: who run shows like these aren't new at this, they're
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: very experienced, I would bet that there are some protocol
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: changes to keep something from like this from happening again.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Even if they say there was no wrongdoing, they will
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: probably make some sort of an effort to clearly spell out,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: you know, what kind of sexual conversations are okay within
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: the workplace, or are all of them, and make sure
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: that people fully understand that before taking a job on
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: the show. I mean, we can only hope, um that
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: when it comes to the workplace, where it comes to
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: life in general, that we can all be respectful of
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: each other's feelings and beliefs and values and morals um
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: and whatever capacity that is. And so obviously sex harassment
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: has been a very um hot topic. It's it's been
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: out there now for the last few weeks, and there's
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: been a lot of things kind of come up, and
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: there's been some some light shut on situations. Uh. The
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: one thing that we can try to shed light on
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: is like, let's just respect each other, let's love on
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: each other. UM, let's work together in a in a
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: comfortable environment. So hey, actually, we appreciate you coming on again.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: If anything crazy happens, if there's any big updates. Uh,
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: if you don't mind, we'd love to call you back. Sure.
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: Actually from the Hollywood Reporter, we appreciate you for your support. Um.
• 32:34
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  Speaker 1: Polka dots and I'm like, okay, so I know that
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Ben's wearing pocon dot underwear. Yeah. The feeling of me
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: and is unmatched because they are naturally a very soft
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: fabric that is actually three times softer than cotton um.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: For a limited time only, check out me Andy's first
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  Speaker 1: ever glow in the dark print glow. It's called lights Out.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Why not update your underwear door and glow at the
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: same time, And I underwear isn't your thing? You know
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: you're like Dean, you don't wear any Go to meds
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: dot com slash almost Famous and check out the world's
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  Speaker 1: softest socks instead. Right now, Means has an exclusive interview
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  Speaker 1: just for our listeners to get off the softest underwear
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• 34:34
  Speaker 1: and you're going to feel famous in your enderwear. You
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: know Mends. I bought some undis a few years ago
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: when I was on the Bachelor. Ap you didn't buy them?
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: They get Yeah, they they gave it to and I
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: m but but then, But I just know this because
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: there have been both of our swag bags, and ever
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: since I got in my swag bag, I've been like,
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: holy moly, I still wear mine and I have a
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: hole in it. But I got I passed some of
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: the pairs onto my friends. Yeah, it's one of them
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: to my mom. Products that I've given to my friends
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: that they've gone out. They bought more of themselves and
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: told their friends, so they're advertising it themselves now. But
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you, and I want me Andy's
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: to reach out to us. I do have a question
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: for him. The underwear in socks, I both. I owned
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: them both, and they're not my favorite product that I
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: have with me Andy's. It's their relaxing pants, and and
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: they're not in this ad. And I want to know
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: does me Anddi still make the relaxing pants, because if
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: they do, we got to promote them. I'm not kidding.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: You'll find out right now, Okay, they these relaxing pants
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: are worth to buy. I love the tweets that you're
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: sending us about buying me Andy's, about buying bio Clarity,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: about buying equip, all these um sponsors that we have,
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: about buying Omaha steaks and everything, because I love to
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: read that you actually appreciate the products. But some of
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: the funniest are the emails about me Andy's. Really, I mean,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: your stories about me anddies are great, So if you
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: have any stories about using any of our sponsors. But
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: it is kind of it just kind of nuts that
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: I got in the swag bag, You've got in the
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: swag bag. Then both of us liked it so much
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: so we went and go bought our own, and then
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: we went and bought some for our family and friends.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Like that's seriously, how much we like this and that's
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: and they love us now more than they did before.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: So if you have any good stories about Me, Andy's,
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: or any of our sponsors using any of those products,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: we want to hear about it. We want to hear
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: what you like. So emails at Ben and Ashley at
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I heeart meatia dot com tell us your stories. Again,
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: we only let sponsor sponsor us that we believe in
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: their products. It's that simple, um, So thank you again
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: for the almost famous podcast and sponsoring it Me, Andy's
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: and Omha stakes. So far, We're gonna move on to
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: segment three in this podcast, one that we haven't touched
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: on for a few weeks, but it is one of
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: my favorites. Uh this first email, it really really touched me. Uh.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I cared about this email so much that I want
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: to get her on this podcast. We're in the process
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: of calling her right now, but before we do, I
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: want to read um this to everybody out there, to
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: all of our listeners, says Hi Been and Ashley. I
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: was in a relationship for about a year and a
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: half with who I thought was the absolute love of
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: my life. The only fights we've ever had were about
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: this one girl he was really good friends with, but
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: I always had bad feelings about. He always denied over
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: and over again that anything was going on, but sure enough,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: about a week ago, she confessed her feelings for him
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: and they kissed. We broke up because I can't forgive cheating,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: but he also was not trying to fight for me
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: at all, saying the kiss made him confused about his feelings.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I find myself
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: crying at random times throughout the day. We were long
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: distance while he finished school, and I had just been
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: a lot of money to visit him on a trip
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: that we were really looking forward to. Do you think
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: I should try to get him to reimburse me for this?
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Where do I need to let it go? Also, any
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: coping suggestions you have to get through this would be
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: greatly appreciated. Thank you, Sarah. Honestly, I just want to
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: talk to Sarah. I don't want to process this with her.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: I know, UM, this is just a really hard story
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: to read because her heart's in it. You can tell um, Sarah,
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: are you out there? Hi? Yes, I'm here. Hey Sarah,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Almost Famous podcast. Hi, thanks for talking
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: to me. It's so nice to talk to you guys.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: How are you feeling today? Okay, I'm a little angry.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I bet we just we just read your email that
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: you sent us on air. Um, we read it through
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: its entirety, so so our listeners now have are updated
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: on your story in your life. Um, Sarah, really, I know,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: actually just ask you just elaborate a little bit. How
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: are you doing? Yeah, I know, it's a great question. Um.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Definitely been trying to keep a bit busy. I think
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: the most surprising part is just part of the most
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: difficult part is and how surprising the whole thing was,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Like where I was a week aldgo compared to where
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I am today. It's like you picture your life a
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: certain way and then a week later it's totally different
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: and just a lot of different things going into it. Um.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: So you know today doing bus yesterday, but some days
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: are harder than than other days. Where's your mind at?
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: I mean what I know in these situations, doubts arise,
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: not only pie about yourself, but about the relationship and
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: kind of how much it meant where's your mind at today? Um?
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: I think it's been a place now where it's a
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: little concerned, um, in the sense of, you know, you
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: have this relationship that you think you're spending the rest
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: of your life with symphonies for over a year, and
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: then it should kind of have that taken aways kind
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: of like we'll kind of go back up. And you're
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: not really sure how stress is going to be and
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: how future things are going to be, And so I
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: think my mind is kind of a convoluted like confusion
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: and Kurt and mad all at the same time. I
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: don't doubt it. And that's fair. Um, you asked for advice,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: and and I want to give you mine. So first off,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: your story is not right. And and the cheap answer here,
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: the cheap statement I can make, was you're better off
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: without him now than you were him. But that doesn't
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: mean anything. And I know how that feels, and I
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: know how it feels to hear that, which is kind
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: of like, well, thanks for for saying it, but it
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: doesn't fix anything. Um, But your your story is all
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: too real. With too many people out there, we actually tweeted,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: actually tweeted uh during this podcast for some advice for
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: people like you, and and our phone lines are just
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: absolutely blowing up right now. There's so many people that
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: can relate with this story. And what I want to
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: tell you is this, Uh, and I'm not an expert, Sara.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try my best here because this email did
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: really hit my heart and I feel for you. I
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: this sounds, um like a decision he made in a
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: weak moment of his life. So my my thought is
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: always when you enter into relationship relationship, you are committing.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: You're choosing to stay committed to that person. You're choosing
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: to stay with that person. That is the value making
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: when you put a title on, when you define your relationship,
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: and if you're together, then that's what that means. And
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: in no case and no cases cheating acceptable. Um, you're
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: sharing your heart with somebody. You've given your heart to somebody.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: You've given that trust to somebody, which doesn't happen a
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: lot in life. Um. And we can keep balls up
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: and we can tear down walls, and that's what relationships
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: kind of due to us. And in these moments, this
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: is where heartbreak occurs. Um. So you move on to
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: say you can't sleep, you can't eat, and you find
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: yourself crying through at random times throughout the day. I
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: just want to tell you're not alone. Um, you're not different.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: You You're handling this similar to I think how a
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: lot of people would handle this. Sure, Um, have you
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: ever been through a bad breakup before? This was the worst, Um,
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: in the sense I think this would be the most
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: serious relationship that I've had. Um, similar to the the situations
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: which I know you you guys have dealt with. I
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: had relationships in before, but they weren't too were serious,
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: they weren't they weren't good relationships, whereas this one was
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: actually a good relationship that I that I pictured the
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: rest of my life with this person. And so this
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: was definitely just kind of punch in the gut um
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: and all sorts of ways and just so confusing and
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: so surprising and just hard to deal with. And she
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: was just so unexpected, especially when you don't have, you know,
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: other other relationships necessarily compared to It's kind of like, well,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: here's here's what it is. It's going to be, you
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, if you don't mind before Ashton,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: the kind of some some of what we believe is
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: the advice for you to move forward and the advice
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: for you as a person. We have a lot of colors.
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: They are looking to give you some practical advice out there.
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: If you don't mind, we'd like to to to tag
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: them into this podcast so that you can hear personally
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: from them what their advice is. At first, we have
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Victoria from from Kansas City. Hey, Victoria, you out there? Yes, Hey, Victoria,
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: we have Sarah on the line. Sarah has just recently
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: gone through a really tough breakup, UM, one that's affecting
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: her deeply, and and we know that you have some
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: practical advice for anybody that's kind of a breakup. Can
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: you share that with us? Yes, so, I recently or
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: it wasn't by recently, like two years um got um
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: went through a breakup with the love of my life.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Like he's the only person that I've ever been in
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: love with, and he was my first real relationship, and honestly,
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: I think it was probably the best experience to len
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: about myself. And time really does play a big part
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: in it. But if I could have done like some
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: things differently to get over him faster. Definitely just hanging
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: out with your girlfriend, being surrounded by your friends, UM,
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: being around people kind of letting them know also about
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: what happened, and like you know what you're going through,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: because they're going to be to help you, like they
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: love you, and I'm going to make sure you know,
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: they stop you from texting him or like keeping the
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: drafted from thinking about them stuff like that. And I
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: don't know, it's just really really hard because you have
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: to be strong and stay off social media. Like I remember,
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: for like two weeks straight, I just checked his Twitter
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: like every yeah, for two seconds. I was just like
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: refreshing it, and it was just so unhealthy and just
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: really trying to stay distracted. Like I work at a
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: company that has a gym with like classes every day
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: like after work, and I started doing those and just
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: going home later so that I went to sleep earlier
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: and just kind of like filling my days with stuff.
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: And yeah, so how long ago did you guys break up?
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: About a week ago, So in that week. Oh yeah, yeah,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: this is gonna be the hardest time for sure, totally
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: and together about a year and a half, that's how
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: long me and my ex are together. Oh my gosh. Yeah,
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: it's just everything's really fresh right now and it's and
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: it's tough, and I know that you know, for you, Victoria,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: you're coming from two years Sarah, you're just a week out. Um,
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: but Victoria, thank you for coming on. We we have
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: someone else that has some advice for for just random
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: ways to heal, and Madison has a drastic way, but
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: a therapeutic way to heal. Madison, can you please share
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: your advice for Sarah on how to get over a breakup? Hey, so, um,
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: first off, I'm super excited that I'm talking to y'all. Um. Well, normally,
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: after I have like a really bad breakup, I'll throw
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: like kind of a bonfire party with all of my
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: friends where they can bring stuff of their exes. I
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: bring like pictures and different things. We kind of just
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: burned it. So that helps me like kind of get
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: closure of a situation as well as like be with
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: my friends for support like during that time. That's cute.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: I like that idea. Really, that sounds crazy to me.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I've done that before with a friend. Um. It was
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: more of like her the guy that she legs are
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: dating a new girl, and she printed out pictures of
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: the new girl and burned in my fireplace. Oh that
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: sounds like a terrible sitcom. Sounds like something I would watch.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, actually funny. You get a good laugh at it. Yeah,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: all right. How many times have you have you thrown
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: these parties? Only twice? Well? Onine was for myself and
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: then one was for a friend of mine. I was
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: going through a breakup. I think it's cute, and I'm like,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: I'm go into it. Amy, you had a crazy one,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: But I think I understand where you're coming. I read
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: this book like years and years ago. I don't remember
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: it was called, but it said to stick your feet
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: in a bucket of ice and think nothing but thoughts
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: about the ex boyfriend and then just think about, think
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: about and think about it, and you like train your
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: mind to dislike the person with the freezing ice. Oh
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: my gosh, you guys. I never did it, but the
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: books that I hate cold feet, that might work for me. Wow,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: that's like a stereotactic. That's that's Madison. Thank you so
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: much for coming on and sharing your advice for Sarah.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: We appreciate you. Have a great day. We're gonna move
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: on to Danielle in Long Island. She has a good idea. Danielle,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: what's your plan when you break up with somebody? Um? So,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: I think it's important to have something to look forward to.
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: So like when I broke up one of my boyfriends,
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I love vap tickets to a concert I really want
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: to go to, and then I booked a spontaneous trip
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: to Miami because it's important to do things that you
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: enjoy with people that you enjoyed being with, and to
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: distract yourself. I agree, I I and I think that's
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: a lot less dangerous than a fire. So getting together
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: your friends a lot less dangerous and starting fire. Daniel,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: we just had a caller call in Madison who actually
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: gave pretty goodvice from from everybody else's perspective in here,
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: that you should burn all of your ex of stuff
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: in a big party format. So hey, Daniel, thanks for
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: coming on the podcast. Yeah, of course. Hey, I think
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: that Ellie in Minneapolis hasn't has a really good idea. Ellie,
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: you out there, I am, how are you great? On
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: the line, and and Ashley thinks you have some great advice.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Really you heard that before? Well, um no, I said
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: that you would need a little time to be miserable
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: and like wallow in tears and just like cry and
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: get postmates to Ashley, I know, mate, and like just
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: not get out of bed. But I totally think you
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: need to set a time limit for yourself, like a
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: you're gonna be like, Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna cry.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: I'm but I'm only going to cry for two months
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: and then I have to get out of spred, start
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: hanging out with friends, and get back to my life.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if any of you listened
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: to the podcast reguarly, but actually we talked to Julia
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Kinney a few weeks ago, and and her advice to
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: us on how to get over a breakup or how
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: to get over a tragic incident in your life is
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: to choose to move forward, choose to be happy. And
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: so you're saying, um, Ellie, to choose to put a
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: date on the calendar, choose a moment to to mourn
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: why you need to mourn, but choose to move forward
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: at a certain date. Well not exactly, because like, I
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: love Julia and I respect what she's saying. She's amazing,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: but I also think that choosing to be happy isn't
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: always that simple. Like, but there are people who struggle
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: with depression. I'm definitely one of them, and I can't
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: always choose to be happy, but I can choose to
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: act the way that happy people act, and eventually I
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: can convince myself that I'm happy. Okay, yeah it makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: that makes sense. Ellie, thank you so much for coming
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: on the podcast with your awesome advice for Sarah. All right.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much. Were my favorite. Hey, thank
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: you so much for listening to Almost Famous podcast. Ellie. Yeah,
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: thanks for having me. Hey, Sarah, Um, I'm gonna let
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: Ashley start and I want to finish um this conversation
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: and just kind of say you off and try to
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: figure out exactly how are you gonna move forward. So
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: we'll just take a couple of minutes here. Actually, what
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: kind of advice do you have for Sarah? All right?
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: So I just came up with this while listening to everyone,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what, hanging out with your friends.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: That sounds like a good idea, but actually I find
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: sometimes that it perpetuates the heartbreak because I don't know
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: about you, but when I get get with my best friends,
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I feel like they're the people who I can continue
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: to talk about this guy with and I can continue
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: to walla with and then they're like, yeah, it was
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: like the time. Then this happened to me, and then
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you're like, in some man hating,
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: sad conversation. Yeah, I completely agree in that. Yeah, happening
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: because I have been doing exactly with that, you know,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: going to hang out with my girlfriends, doing every single
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: night of the week. Um. But then you know what
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: kind of happening I'm like, well I'm doing is talking
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, I'm getting upset. And then if they
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: don't agree, and then they're just like, oh no, he's
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: you know, the worst, he's the worst, and it's like, well,
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: but then you're like he wasn't always the worst, and
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: it's like this don't be helpful, right. I mean, I
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: am understand having to talk it out, like I am
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: somebody who really needs to talk out my problems. But
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: then at some point it becomes more of a problem
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: because you're kind of addicted to talking about him. So
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: what I would suggest is you have any good guy friends. Yeah.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I always feel like my guy friends actually make me
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: feel better in these circumstances because they have a totally
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: different perspective on guys and they can tell you and
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say, like you're more convinced that
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: the guy wasn't right for you if your guy friends
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: say it. But sometimes if you open up to the
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: guys who don't always you don't always talk about guy
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: issues with they make you see the light and you
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: wouldn't always see that with your girl pals. Yeah. No,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: I totally agree with that. Good advice. Agree. I mean,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: here's my advice, and here's what's gotten me through tough
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: break off. And I still I don't want to be
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: as as vulnerable with you as possible. I still struggle
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: at times. I'm not I sit here, and I'm not
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: going to claim that that I am completely here, that
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: there isn't times that I'm still sad, or there isn't
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: times that my mind still goes back or whatever. You know,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: I can't promise that that will ever go away. Here's
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: a few things that that that I've done. I have
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: surrounded myself with really good friends. Um. Those really good
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: friends are people that when I'm just mad or sad
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: or confused, before I react, I can confide and and
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: by confiding and taking time I can help they help
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: me process through this. Now I've chosen two really good
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: friends in my life to process through any really hard
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: relationship stuff, especially during this time my life with so
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: they know the whole story, they know everything. They know
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: the things that I've really messed up on, the things
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: that have really broken me, the things that my partners
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: really messed up on. So so they can help me
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: from a kind of a non biased perspective, say Been,
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: you're in the right, Ben, you should be sad, Ben,
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't been, you need to move on, or hey,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: like you need to apologize. Um, So they've held me accountable.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: So that's one thing. If I was you, I'd choose
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: two really close friends, two or three that will walk
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: with you in this because as they'll be able to
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: emotionally support you as well, you won't have to talk
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: about this situation all the time because they know that's
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: not what's best for you. But when it is best
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: for you to talk to you about the next is
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: I'd find I'd find a counselor, and I'd find a
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: counselor soon, um I did. I would go to therapy
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: and I would talk this through with with a trained professional.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: I think it is incredibly important with anything in our life.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I think is not only with tragic situations, even when
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: when we're in seasons of life that we're celebrating. I
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: think going to a professional to release any type of feelings,
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: any type of emotions, is incredibly important. The life consumes us,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: Life tires us out, life makes us sad, and any
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: of our listeners out there, I would recommend going to therapy,
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: going to counseling, talking to people that are trained. Uh.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: It is incredibly important, especially in this day and age,
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: to have people surrounding you that you can lean on.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: Because the worst thing you can feel, and Sarah, I
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: never want you to feel this way. Listen to me. Okay,
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: this is what I'll tell you. I never want you
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: to let your mind go here because it starts at will. Okay,
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: and anybody out there, listen to me. You aren't alone.
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: The worst feeling can feel is loneliness, and you aren't
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: ever alone. There's others out there they're dealing with this,
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: that are processing this. This is life. Life's has its
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: ups and downs. But I can promise you, Sarah, from
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: the email that you read and the actions that he took,
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: you are in a better place. Um from from hearing
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: the way you've listened to all these callers and and
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: you've you've processed with them. I know that your life.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: I can't promise a lot of things, but I can
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: they can promise you this. There is joy to come.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: So Sarah, thank you for your email, Thank you for
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: listening to the Almost Famous podcast. Thanks for hanging out
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: with this a little bit today. Yeah, thank you so
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: much for talking to me. This was much better than
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. And going off with Ben was saying,
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: don't ever feel like a loser for talking about it. Um,
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people feel like he was saying.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: People think that they're alone, but they're totally not, and
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: then they feel like ashamed to talk their feelings out.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: And it's just like, no, we all been like we've
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: been through it, or we've been through something similar. Everybody
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: can relate. So just talk it out. It makes you
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: feel so much better. Yeah, definitely. Well, thank you guys
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: so much. He thanks the appreciate it right by. Um.
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: You know it's interesting is we're as I have the
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: caller list kind of up here in front of me
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: from all the people that did try to call in
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: to give advice. Everybody up on the screen right now
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: is saying cut him off, you know, s get him up,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: delete him from social media. Don't look at his Facebook profiles,
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: you know, lay in bedding, cry for a little bit,
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: then wake up and say you're no longer thinking about him.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: Like the cut it off advice seems to be the
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: popular one, so I would imagine it would work. I mean,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: it is hard to cut people off. I I still
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: to this day struggle with that. Like I'll get on
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: my Instagram and I'll go, you know, there's that search
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: you can search other people, and you know, somebody pops
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: up in my in my search bar, and and it's
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: so tempting to me to clip. And I've done it
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: a few times, and it just it's your heart sinks automatically,
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: heart sinks, and it brings you back so far emotionally
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: from you. It's like poison. And it really is, and
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: it happens to me over and over again. And it's
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: it's like a bad addiction. It's a bad drug. It
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: is like poison. But once you stop, stop, you stop
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: you once you're off the junk. Yeah. Remember I remember
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: my relationship in college and with a good friend of mine. Now,
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: when we broke up, it was really hard on me
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: and I kept I remember, kept checking my Facebook and
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: also this get sounds crazy, but my my text to
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: see if she would text me. I was obsessed with it.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: I was obsessed with checking to see what she was doing,
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: where she was at, who she was dating, Is she
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: with anybody yet? Is she happy? You know whatever? Every
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: time your phone goes off and you're like, is that her?
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: And it really happened on The Bachelor? This is This
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: is where The Bachelor, it really means a lot to me,
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: is where I tend to take three months away from
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: my phone. It might have been the first time I'd
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: ever gone that far without checking her. And I got
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: off the show and now we're friends and I can
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: see her and I'm happy for when she's dating somebody
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: or whatever that is. But when I got off the
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: show is the first time I didn't have that angst
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: in my heart too, what she doing? Did I get
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: a text from her? Had the same same experience A
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: is go somewhere where you're not gonna have any technology
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: for two months else so to a movie theater or
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: somewhere where you really can't look at your phone all
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: the time. The phones are like the devil now, I
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: mean I'm even looking at my phone, like reading text
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: right now going what does he mean? What does he
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: mean by that? What does that mean? The screen? So
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: here's another piece of advice. Sarah's dressed up. Look good? Yeah,
• 57:34
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• 57:39
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• 57:41
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• 57:44
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• 57:45
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• 57:47
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• 57:49
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• 58:16
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• 58:20
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• 58:24
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• 58:27
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• 58:30
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• 58:57
  Speaker 1: sweet deal. All right, let's talk about how we are
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: six weeks away from Ari's premiere. That freaks me out.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: How fast this year went. We were six weeks away
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: from the new year. That's wild. Absolutely. Um. Let's talk
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: about age for a second, because we we've mentioned how
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: spoilers online seemed to indicate that Ari's girls are a
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: young crowd like early twenties. People did not like that.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: I called arild. Oh sorry, Amy called Ari old, but
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: just letting you know. Amy's a bit older than Ari.
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: And let's let's be clear Ari is old in comparison
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: to the Bachelor franchise, but not really because Nick is
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: thirty seven nick for the Bachelor franchise. In comparison for
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: somebody that's active on the show, Andrew Firestone said he
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: was twenty six. Yeah, I mean, if you think about it,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: So if Andrew Fireston was twenty six when he was
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: a Bachelor in two thousand three, that's fourteen years. He's
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: only forty. He's only four years older than Ari, three
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: years older than Yeah, that's weird that I mean in comparison,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: they both are old. But what about those other celebrity
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: couples with huge age differences. There is Scott Disick who's
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: thirty four and Sophia Ritchie who's ninety. I don't know
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: why that's walking me out. Okay, wait, see this age
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: different fifteen years is probably something we wouldn't really blink
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: at when the guy is older than the girl. But
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: she's nine teen, and that is so creepy. I've been
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: a little intrigued by Katherine McPhee and David Foster. I
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: don't know if they are aren't there very boy about it?
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: They make sense to me because she's so Broadway, she's
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: got the voice. She and he's all pianist and like
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: composer or you know, and and he's attractive. He's not
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: like seventy. Yeah, he's sixty eight. He looks great for
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: his age. I see the two of them together despite that,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do the math, but over earth
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: thirty year age difference, you guys, I was watching Scandal
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: this week and as I always do, you know, as
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: I always do, but President Fitzgerald Tony Goldwin, he's really
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: had an effect on me lately. And he is fifty
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: seven or fifty eight in real life, which is only
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: four years younger than my father. But that is the
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: one guy I have to go for if I was
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: gonna you date him, if he wasn't married and you
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: had the chance, Yeah, I think so. But he's hot
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: with his shirt off. I think that makes a big
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: difference too. Well. I think it's it's also hot that
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: he's the president, you know that authority. Would you date
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: someone older? Like? How about me? Said court Conson Jennifer.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: I'm forty three, and you're what what do you think
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: if we've tried? Is it cougar? But it also sees
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: who like Ben is willing to go older? Then how
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: much older? Honestly? And I don't know how to say
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: this other than probably making half our listeners. Man, I
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: want kids, so that has to come into play, Like
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: at some point that's no longer um medically healthy for
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: for the for the woman and so and so. I
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: would have to take that in consideration. So at this
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: point in my life, that would be my my big decision.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: That's the only reason you and I aren't, Yes, I mean,
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: that's that's the only reason. Also to the men out there,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: I want kids, and so people who are like, you know,
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: concentrating your career, you have your whole life. I don't
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: have a bit of a window. I mean, I think
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know if age is. I think true love
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: can exist in all places, at any time, with anybody.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: I think true love is a magical thing. Andrew Firestone
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: early on this podcast called love magic. He said in
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: the Bachelor World, when two people can come together on
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: a show, it's magic, and I believe in that. I
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: felt that, I've seen that. So love is magic. I
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: can't put a number on it. I don't want to.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know when that will happen for me, So
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: I can't say I would or I wouldn't. I'm not
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: just picking people out of the air. And saying hey, yeah,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: you're older and I would date you. What I'm saying
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: is this, it's I think there is an appropriate age
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: rang And that being said, would you date a nine
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: two year old? Uh No, I would not. I don't
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: think you would mentally connect with them well from my experience.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: And this is this is a stereotyped as a generalization.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: It could I could completely be wrong. I've said this before.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: I'm very careful about what I what I when I
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: say I would never do something anymore. It's life experience
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: for me. So somebody at nineteen has a lot less
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: life experience than somebody at twenty four. Somebody at twenty
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: four has a lot less life experience I've seen than
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: somebody at Somebody at forty has a lot more life
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: experience than I do at twenty eight. So it's not
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: exactly maturity. I've met nineteen year olds that are incredibly mature,
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: that are fantastic people, are doing great things for this world.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: What they lack is the life experience. So how old
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: is this sic and how old is Ritchie? She's nineteen
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: and he's thirty four. We know he has a lot
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: of wife experience, but but they talk about. What do
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: you think they're talking about while they're tanning out there
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: and they're talking much. I don't think they're talking much.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: They're talking much. Just from the pictures I've seen, it
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: doesn't look like there Amy. Can you figure out what
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: Linel Richie thinks of this? I don't. Somebody did ask him,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: and I don't think he was like two per thrilled.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: That was the vibe I got, like, really, a dad's
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: not jacked about this. Dad's not just like, yeah, I'm
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: cool with this. This sounds awesome. Come on, come on
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: dot dot seems like a great guy's proven it over
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: and over. Uh huh. I mean, so that's my that's
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: my advice is find somebody that has similar life, experienced,
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: similar value, similar morals, um with you. And so I
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: can't say, hey, I would or I wouldn't fall in
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: love with somebody younger than me or older, but it
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: would be in my mind right now, this conversation makes
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: me very okay, And I'll just go on on a
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: limb here, and if you disagree or agree with me,
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: please email us at Ben and Ashley at I heart
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: media dot com. When I see a third year age
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: difference in a relationship. It makes me uncomfortable. It does.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know why, but it does. Yeah, sometimes you
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: can't tell so much. Does John Stamos in his Caitlin MQ.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: Does that make you uncomfortable? Have you seen pictures of them?
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: They see? That doesn't make me uncomfortable, So studly it
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter. I can do whatever he wants. And he
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: does want kids, you know, he wants kids and he
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: doesn't have any. Yeah, I don't know, honestly, I just
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: I'm very uncomfortable right now. And with that, everybody, thank
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 1: you so much for listening in. We want to thank
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: our special special guest Andrew Firestone and Ashley from The
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: Hollywood Reporter. Next week, it's Thanksgiving week, but we'll be here.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: We ain't stopping. We work. That was news to me, really,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: I was going to give you guys vacation and then
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: I had to change. I was gonna say, I'm just
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: fining on this podcast right now that I'm working next
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: week sounds good to me. Amy, get Christmas. If you're lucky, thanks, celebrate,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: celebrate and be happy. Hey, we appreciate you listeners. Um,
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: it's good to be back. I just got back from Honduras.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: I'm happy to be here. Ashley is happy to be here.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: We're gonna keep rolling with this. We're six weeks out
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: from the Bachelor again. This is our off season and
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: we're still chugging. We have. I mean, I think we
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: estimated this this last week that if we add up
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: all of our episodes and all of the listeners, were
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: way over five million listeners. I mean, that's nuts. That's
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: five million listens to the almost million podcasts. Yeah, I
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: got to tell her how it is. Hey again, keep
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: in touch with us. We appreciate you. We'll talk to
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: you soon. Until next time, I've been, I've been Ashley,
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: see you soon. Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: Famous podcast on IHUR Radio or subscribe wherever you listen
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: to podcasts.