Latest / Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast / Comparison Always Leads to Carnality

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Comparison Always Leads to Carnality · Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast

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Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
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There is something that we all do, and we do
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it so often and so unconsciously that we think
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it's normal. And yet it, by definition, will
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destroy our relationships. You do not want to
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miss what I'm going to share today. Stay with
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me. I'm Dave Drewy, and today on Living on the
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Edge, Chip Ingram continues our series, Caring
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Enough to Connect, Building Bridges to Those
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We Love. So far in our study, Chip has shown
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us that knowing God as He truly is changes how
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we love the people around us. And today he tackles
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a dangerous habit so common we barely notice
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we're doing it. But it's one that quietly poisons
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almost every relationship we have. Now if you
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need to catch up on any of these messages at
0:58
another time, just go to livingontheedge .org.
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Now let's join Chip in 2 Corinthians chapter
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10 for today's message titled, comparison always
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leads to carnality. Someone asked me recently
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if I would just kind of step back and say, you've
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been a Christian a little over three decades
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now. Just in terms of simplified principles,
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if you were just going to sit down with someone
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over a cup of coffee and say, what are the biggest
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life lessons you've learned about doing relationships
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God's way, doing relationships in a way? so that
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how you relate to one another around the word
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of God and the spirit of God would actually allow
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both of you to become more like Christ. And so
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I sat down and put my feet up and got a cup of
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coffee and prayed and said, Lord, you know what,
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what is it? And so, you know, a number of different
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ones, like I started with it all begins with
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God. That was my first principle. I realize is
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that everyone in the world wants to tell you
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how to do relationships. And I realize God has
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laid out in his word, this is how you do relationships.
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And then I begin to think of other things. You
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can't impart what you don't possess. I can't
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give to another person in a relationship what
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I'm not getting from God. I've learned over the
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years that everyone behaves in a way that makes
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sense to them. That has transformed my life.
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It helps you step back so you don't get engaged
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in something where you respond emotionally. And
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then another principle for me is everyone is
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desperately insecure. And some people show their
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insecurity with strong reactions and powerful.
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And, you know, they tell you what they've done
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and what they've accomplished and how much money
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they make and who they know and what they drive
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and, you know, on and on and on and on. And they
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do that because they seem really big and you
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seem really small and that creates distance.
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And that distance makes them feel safe. And other
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people are insecure with weak reactions. What
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they do is they look at their feet and I'm a
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nobody and I can never do anything. And you know,
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my mom was a nobody. My dad was a nobody. And
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you know, I haven't done this and I haven't done
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this. And you know, they withdraw from relationships
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and it creates distance. But it's rooted in the
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same thing. You know, once you realize everyone's
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desperately insecure, we just show it in different
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ways. Well, principle number six for me is that
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comparison always leads to carnality. Comparison
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always leads to carnality. And what I've tried
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to do with these little principles, I just thought,
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God, help me be real simple. A principle, a passage,
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and then some practice. What's the principle?
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Comparison always leads to carnality. Who's the
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fastest? Who's the smartest? Who's the prettiest?
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Who's the sexiest? Who's the best looking? Whose
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kids are the brightest? Did you go to this school
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or that school? Who has the nicest clothes? What
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kind of car do you drive? Where do you live?
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What is your zip code? People Magazine, who's
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the most famous? Forbes Magazine, who's the richest?
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When you pull up at a stoplight, Unconsciously,
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if there's two or three lanes, you will tend
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to look to your right and you will tend to look
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to your left. And you will unconsciously go through
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a series of things. You will look at what kind
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of car they're driving. You will make observations
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about how the gal is wearing her hair, not wearing
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her hair, how much jewelry she has, what it looks
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like. If it's a BMW and has number seven something
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with an I in the back, you make certain... observations
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and conclusions. If it's a VW van with the peace
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sign and the guy has multiple tattoos and Rastafarian
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hair, you make certain conclusions. And you unconsciously
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begin to ask, where do I fit? And you gravitate
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like I gravitate in your humus to either feel
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superior or inferior. Or judging, you know what,
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I'll tell you what, look at all those rich people
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and what a waste of money to have that much jewelry
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and the poor could have been fed and you know
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what, you know what, I think an Audi would be
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okay, but a BMW, that's totally out. Or you know
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what, why didn't that guy get a bath? That's
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his whole problem. You know something, that hair
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stinks and there's lice in it and you know, that's
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the problem of this world. The 60s is over, why
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didn't that guy get a life? And what I can tell
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you is, you don't know anything about either
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of them. You don't know anything about either
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of them and neither do I, but it's habitual.
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I made a list. I went from car to home to clothes
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to jewelry. I noticed now, have you ever found
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out like when you get engaged and then when you
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get a wedding ring or an engagement ring and
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ladies, do you all, I mean, please don't look
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at me, but have you ever tried to compare the
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size of the diamond that someone else has with
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when you got engaged? Or when you're newly married,
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do they own their house or rent their house?
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Or what school did you graduate from versus what
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school someone else graduated from? Is it weird
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that as parents, we want people to know our kids'
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SAT scores? Like that really changes the world.
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We compare our kids, our schools, our education,
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our IQs. And all I want to tell you is every
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time you compare yourself with other people,
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whether it's your insides or your outsides or
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your possessions or your position, it always
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leads to carnality. And by carnality, I mean
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sin. The passage I'd like to give you is 2 Corinthians
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10, verse 12. And I'd like you to go ahead and
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open your Bible and look at that. And the Apostle
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Paul is in a situation where he's being compared.
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He's being compared with these so -called super
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apostles. And the Corinthian church is saying,
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you know something, you act like a real big shot
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when we get these letters, but we are not really
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that impressed with you. And Paul really hates
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to do it, but defends his apostleship and talks
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about some amazing experiences and different
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things he's had. But in verse 12, he gets to
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the core of the issue about relationships. It
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says, for we are not bold to class or compare
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ourselves with some of those who commend themselves.
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But when they measure themselves by themselves
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and compare themselves with themselves, they're
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without understanding. And is that graphic? We
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are not bold to compare ourselves with some of
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those. Paul says, I'm not comparing myself with
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other people. Why? When they measure themselves.
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and compare themselves with themselves, they
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are without understanding. In your notes, if
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you want to, you might jot down 1 Corinthians
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15, 10, where the Apostle Paul does just the
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opposite. And I remember the first time I read
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this, and I mean, I never opened the Bible till
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I was 18. So I'm like probably 18 and a half
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now. I'm a Christian about six months. I'm reading
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through the New Testament for the first time.
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And when I first read this verse, I thought,
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this guy's like really arrogant. I can't believe
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he said this. I am what I am by the grace of
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God. And his grace did not prove vain toward
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me, but I labored more than all of them. Speaking
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of the other apostles, yet not I, but the grace
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of God in me. And you know, when you really study
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that, he's not arrogant at all. He has an accurate
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assessment of himself. I am what I am by the
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grace of God. The brains I have, grace of God.
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The looks I have, the grace of God. Position
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I have, the grace of God. The money I have, the
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grace of God. The talent I have, the grace of
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God. The parent I have, the grace of God. I am
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what I am. God made me and God placed me in this
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family at this time with these gifts, with these
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strengths, with these liabilities, with these
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experiences, both wonderful and difficult by
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his grace. And then it's interesting once you
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do. And his grace didn't prove vain toward me.
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I didn't compare myself with other people. I
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saw who God made me and where I am and what I've
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been through. And then I labored. I labored.
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I worked. I took what God gave me and who he
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made me. And this is a time where he does have
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a little comparison. He goes, more than all of
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them, yet not I. even my labor, even my energy,
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even my passions, even my desires, not I, but
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the grace of God. And so all I'm saying is in
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relationships, and this is a habit that is so
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hard to break, is if you can begin to say to
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yourself, I'm gonna break the habit of comparing
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myself with other people. I am telling you, it'll
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liberate you. When you can go through the checkout
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stand, ladies, and see the front of Cosmopolitan
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and Us and all the magazines and how, quote,
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you're supposed to look and realize the genetic
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pool of which is drawn is like the upper one
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or 2 % of all the women made in all the world.
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And they have, you know, airbrush, surgeries,
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and money like you don't have. And they're, you
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know, can you imagine having, the only job you
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have is look pretty? I remember them interviewing
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one lady who's noted, I won't mention any names,
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who's noted not only for her beauty, but for
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her wonderfully articulate bodily shape. Can
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I say that in the right way? And she talked about
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five and six hours a day, the regimen she went
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through to keep. different parts of her body
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looking the way they needed to look so she could
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get in front of the camera and make millions
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of dollars. Now, I don't know about you, but
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how many of you have five or six hours a day
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to do, you know, buns of steel or whatever, you
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know? And yet that picture flashes and you've
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been told ever since you were a little girl or
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guys, when you look at men's fitness and you
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see that guy with, you know, those rippled abs,
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they don't have six packs, they got 12 packs.
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But you know what? If you got five hours, now,
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should you be in shape, take good care of your
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body, all the rest, of course. But I mean, that's
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a 12 -pack, that's a full -time job. I mean,
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you gotta be in the gym for hours and hours and
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hours. But these images of these pictures, and
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we compare ourselves both up or down. And the
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moment we do, it always leads to carnality. The
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principle, comparison always leads to carnality.
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The passage, 2 Corinthians 10, 12. the practice.
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Let me give you three things that I think will
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really help you break the habit. Number one,
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habitually choose to view others the way God
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does. And jot down 1 Samuel 16, 7. Habitually
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choose. It's a choice. You won't naturally do
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this. Habitually choose to view others the way
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God does. 1 Samuel 16, 7. God's looking for a
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king. He says to the prophet, go over to Jesse's
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house. He's got a lot of boys. One of those boys
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is a king and I'll show you. All the boys line
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up. The prophet looks at them all and he goes,
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you know, hey, you know, we got a problem here.
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And, you know, one of them, especially strong
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and mature and good looking and big. And, you
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know, the father's kind of going, it's him, right?
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Prophet says, no, I mean, do you have any other
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sons? And basically all we, you know, there's,
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you know, the little guy, you know, I mean, he's
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young. And so David comes. And do you remember
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what the prophet says? For God sees not as man
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sees. For man looks on the outward appearance,
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but the Lord weighs the heart. And I don't know
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about you, but God has been so gracious to reprove
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me so painfully that I am habitually in the practice
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of choosing to look at people the way God does.
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I'll never forget my greatest reproof I was preaching
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in California and there was a guy who came, sat
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on the front row, had long Rastafarian locks,
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had what appeared to be a dress on or a robe
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with a multicolored coat and a funky little hat.
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And he sat, you know, I always sat kind of on
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the front row and I was like six or eight rows
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away. And the aroma of his life on the streets
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was reaching me six or eight rows away. And I
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later learned his name was Dan, and he became
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affectionately called Dan Dan the Hippie Man.
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And I was preaching, and I'm wondering, man,
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where is this guy coming from? I mean, if I had
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seen him on the streets alone, it would have
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been like, you know, ball my fist here. You know,
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he's a drug addict. I wonder where he's coming
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from. And if he's not a drug addict, he's a nut,
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you know. And so I get done preaching and I notice
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he's really paying attention. I think that's
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good. You know, he's probably coming off drugs
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and, you know, the meth or the heroin or the
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cocaine has got him wired up or something. And
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I get done. And when I get done, we had these
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steps and I would go down these little steps
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and he just came up to me like this. He goes.
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Pastor, it's so good to be here. I could just
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feel the presence of Jesus. And then he goes
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like this. And I mean, this guy gave me a bear
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hug. And you're not one of those polite Christian
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little hugs where, you know, we all know it's
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gotta be quick and, you know, man to man, you
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know. And I mean, he's hugging me like I just
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gave out silver dollars and he got nine of them,
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you know. And then he looks at me like this.
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He goes, I'm so glad God brought me here. And
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I'm thinking, and then I talked to him. Man,
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this guy's in the Bible every day. He had a radical
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conversion. I later learned that he came for
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a few weeks and he said, well, I'm back onto
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God's calling. And he went on the road and he
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was purposefully a homeless person sharing Christ.
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And then he actually made his way about halfway
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across the United States and got involved in
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a cult. And I got this long letter about all
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these weird people. And, you know, I don't know
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much about the Bible. I was only a Christian
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about six months. So I write him a letter and
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he said, this is where you can contact me. And
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I gave him information about the cult. And I
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said, I love your heart. You need to get some
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training. He came back, walked all the way back
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and hitchhiked back to California, went to Bible
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school, later married another girl and their
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ministry, boy, their wedding was wild. And I
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mean, he ended up, he was quite a flute player,
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ended up on our worship team. And I'm telling
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you, if I have ever met someone who was Jesus
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to people that other people won't give the time
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of day, it was Dan, Dan, the hippie man. We even
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were a part of getting him in Bible school and
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he got training. And you know something? Isn't
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it easy to look on the outside? Oh, look at that
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hairdo. Look at her nails. You know, those nails,
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that'd be $65. I wonder if they're fake or not.
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Look at those shoes. You know, look at that bag.
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You know what? I wonder if that's one of those
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bags where the imprint really is the Louis, whatever
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it is, or is it just a knockoff? You know, look
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at that. Look at that. Look at that. Look at
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that. Look at that. You know. People's luggage
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coming off of racks. We make observations, how
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they sit, how they talk, where their accent.
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He kind of talks like this. He sort of has a
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slurry. Must be from this part of the country.
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He looks like that. He or she must not be very
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smart. Comparison always leads to carnality.
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Habitually choose to refuse to view others in
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any other way than God does. And you will be
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pleasantly surprised. Second practice is habitually
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choose to evaluate yourself the way God does
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or to look at yourself. If you'll open to Psalm
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139, you know, some of us, as the Apostle Paul
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says, think too highly of ourself. My experience
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is most of us think too lowly of ourself. You
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need to habitually go into practice, go into
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training that when you look in the mirror, Rather
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than looking at yourself the way you do, begin
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to look at who you are the way God does. Here's
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how God looks at you. Psalm 139, verse 13. David
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is sharing his heart inspired by the Holy Spirit.
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He says, My frame, literally my skeleton, my
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structure was not hidden from you when I was
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made in secret and skillfully wrought in the
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depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed
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substance. Literally the idea, your eyes saw
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my embryo. And in your book, they were written
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all the days ordained for me when as yet there
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wasn't one of them. Here's a God who knows you.
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You have DNA like no one else. He created you
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exactly the way he wanted to create you with
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the color of eyes, with the personality, dropped
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you in the family that he would know. It doesn't
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matter whether you had a good dad, a bad mom,
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an absent. God loved you so much that he knew
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he needed your mom and your biological dad's
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DNA to make the unique you. And when he looks
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at the unique you, You are fearfully and wonderfully
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made. You are valuable. You are unique. You are
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precious. You matter. Not if you were taller,
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not if you were smarter, not if you were more
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outgoing, not if you were better in this or better
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in that. You, I mean, what he's describing, they
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hadn't learned to talk yet. This is God's view
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of you before you did anything. Goes on to say,
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how precious also are your thoughts, God, toward
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me. How vast is the son of them. If I should
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count them, they would outnumber the sand. When
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I awake, I'm still with you. God views you as
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something that matters, that is precious. He
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thinks of you all the time. He loves you and
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cares for you just the way he made you. Now,
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do you have a stewardship with your body to make
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it the best that it can be and be healthy? Sure.
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Do you have a stewardship with your mind? Of
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course. Do you have a stewardship with your gifts
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and your talents? Yeah. But I'll tell you what,
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most of us have bought into a culture where we
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find someone a little bit better than us and
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we envy them because we compare ourselves with
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them. And then we find someone a little bit lower
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than us and we compare and we are either self
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-righteous if we do it spiritually or we feel
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superior or arrogant because what really happened
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is we don't view ourselves rightly. You got to
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look yourself in the mirror and say, God, thank
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you. you're all wise. You could have made me
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6 '2". You could have made me 5 '7". You know,
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you could have given me blue eyes or brown eyes.
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You could have, you could have. And all the answers
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to God says, wait a second. I've not made any
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mistakes ever, ever. Not even a small one. The
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wisdom of God is that God brings about the best
19:57
possible results by the best possible means for
19:59
the most possible people for the longest possible
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time. Not only what he has done, could not be
20:05
done better, but how he does what he has done
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could not be improved upon. And that's who you
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are. And you know, when you embrace that, all
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of a sudden, you know what? It doesn't matter
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what they drive. It doesn't matter what their
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test scores are. It doesn't matter if they went
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to this school or that school or whether they
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can shoot it or kick it or play it or paint it
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better than you because God's not comparing you
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with any of them. You are his unique masterpiece.
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Comparison always leads to carnality. To break
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it, habitually choose to view others the way
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God does. Secondly, habitually choose to view
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yourself as God does. And third, habitually choose
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to measure your performance and success by answering
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the following questions. This is real quick,
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but I literally, I do this all the time. You
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know, I'm kind of nutso with this little three
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by five cards and all that stuff. I actually
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ask myself these questions about my performance,
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okay? My performance as a father, my performance
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as a husband, my performance as a pastor, my
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performance as a friend. I mean, we all perform,
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we do things, right? And the question is, well,
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are you successful or not? We all wanna be successful.
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And by the way, that word in Hebrew in Joshua,
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when it talks about meditating on his law in
21:25
order that you can be successful, the word means...
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prudent to look into something in order to do
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your life in a way that is aligned with God's
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will or wisdom. And so success, real success
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is figuring out how God has orchestrated life
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and doing life his way. And so how do you measure
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your success? Three questions. Question number
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one I ask is, did I give my very best effort?
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Did I give my very best effort? And I have, I
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always have a verse with these, sorry. Colossians
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3 .23, whatever you do, do heartily as unto the
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Lord and not unto men, for it is God who is going
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to reward you. Did I give my best effort? Am
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I giving my best? Is this the best shot I have
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as a dad? Is this my best shot as a husband?
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Is this my best shot on this message? Is this
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my best shot in this difficult situation? Did
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I give my best effort? Not, how did I do compared
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to someone else who does the same thing? I mean,
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I don't wanna compare myself to Chuck Swindoll
22:23
and Andy Stanley and all these other, I'm not
22:25
them. I don't wanna compare myself to other people
22:28
that are these amazing fathers from, you know,
22:31
I'm not them. The question I need to ask is,
22:34
first, did I give my best effort? Second, who
22:37
am I seeking to impress? Who am I seeking to
22:41
impress? Am I seeking to impress my wife, my
22:45
kids, what people think of my kids? Am I seeking
22:48
to impress other people? It's an audience of
22:51
one. The only way you break the grip of comparison
22:54
is to know success is I gave my best effort,
22:59
number one. Number two, I did it unto you. I
23:03
love the little song by Sarah Groves. It's called
23:05
This Journey Is My Own. If you've never heard
23:08
it, it's on her Conversation album. It's an awesome
23:10
song. And she has this little song where she
23:12
says, you know, this journey is my own. There's
23:15
a day I'm gonna stand before the Lord. And she
23:18
says, this journey is my own. It's not what anyone
23:20
else's thinks. And then she has this great line.
23:22
Why should I waste my life or lose my life trying
23:26
to please people basically that I'll never be
23:28
able to please instead of God? Third question
23:32
is this, am I fulfilling my God ordained potential?
23:36
And you can jot down Matthew chapter 25, 14 through
23:40
about 30, Matthew 25. See, sometimes we get real
23:44
excited and we think, wow, I did great. Because
23:49
you compare it to this person or this person
23:52
or this person. And I will tell you what you'll
23:54
do naturally because you want to be successful.
23:55
We all find someone worse than us. If you're
23:59
a 10 talent person and you score a seven, you
24:03
don't get an A. But if you score a seven and
24:07
most of the world is a four, The whole world
24:09
can think you're a winner. You are doing great.
24:12
You are awesome. What a mother, what a father,
24:14
what a worker, what a friend. But if God, the
24:18
issue is not how are you doing relative to any
24:21
other person? The issue is how are you doing
24:24
relative to who God made you? And are you extracting
24:29
the potential? Because when I get before God,
24:31
he's not gonna ask me, well, you know, these
24:34
other speakers and other pastors, man, they were
24:36
better than you. He's only got one question.
24:38
I deposited a certain amount of gift and talent
24:42
in you, Chip. How much of it did you extract?
24:46
How much of it like the apostle Paul, I am what
24:49
I am by the grace of God. And you went for broke
24:52
and you disciplined yourself and you were diligent
24:54
and you did it unto me. And I gave you this much
24:58
and you really use this much. You didn't coast
25:01
on gift. You didn't compare yourself with other
25:03
people. You became. All I designed you to be.
25:08
Because at the end of the day, that will be the
25:10
measuring stick. Comparison always leads to carnality.
25:15
The key verse, 2 Corinthians 10, 12. The habits
25:19
are three and they're simple. Habitually choose
25:22
to view others the way God does. Habitually choose
25:25
to view yourself the way God does. And measure
25:28
success not by how you do with others, but compared.
25:35
to who God made you to be, and are you fulfilling
25:38
your potential? That little principle has been
25:41
transformational in relating to people and the
25:44
kind of relationships that I think helps us be
25:45
like Jesus. You're listening to Living on the
25:50
Edge with Chip Ingram, and today's message is
25:53
titled, Comparison Always Leads to Carnality.
25:56
Now, if you've missed any part of this program,
25:59
you can find it anytime at livingontheedge .org.
26:03
Comparison doesn't just create carnality with
26:06
the people around you. It can just as easily
26:08
convince you that you're not equipped to talk
26:10
about Jesus, especially next to someone who seems
26:13
better at it. Well, Aaron Pierce's book, Not
26:16
Beyond Reach, shows you how to actually introduce
26:19
Jesus to someone who doesn't yet believe, with
26:22
practical strategies for the moment you've been
26:24
putting off. Aaron reminds us that with intentionality
26:28
and dependence on the Holy Spirit, no one is
26:31
outside of God's reach. Get your copy of the
26:34
book, Not Beyond Reach, at a special price today
26:37
at livingontheedge .org. You know, it's easy
26:42
to underestimate what a single gift can do, but
26:46
every dollar that you give helps put teaching
26:48
like this into the hands of someone who desperately
26:50
needs it. Would you take a step of generosity
26:53
today and help us reach one more person who feels
26:56
stuck and doesn't know how to get free? Whether
26:59
it's $5 or $500, your gift multiplies further
27:03
than you might imagine. Give online at livingontheedge
27:06
.org or call our team at 888 -333 -6003. You
27:12
can also send your gift by mail to Living on
27:15
the Edge, P .O. Box 3007, Sewanee, Georgia 30024.
27:21
Want more of Chip's teaching throughout your
27:23
week? Well, follow Living on the Edge on Facebook
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and Instagram, where we share daily encouragement,
27:29
teaching clips, and biblical wisdom you can apply
27:31
right away. Just search Living on the Edge with
27:34
Chip Ingram and hit follow. Well, now here's
27:38
Chip. I am so excited about what we learned today.
27:42
I mean, just pause with me, will you? Can you
27:45
imagine what would happen In the world, I mean
27:49
in relationships everywhere, if all of us just
27:53
would believe and receive these few lines of
27:56
truth, the issue is not how I'm doing relative
27:59
to other people. The issue is how I'm doing relative
28:03
to who God made me. Am I extracting the potential
28:08
that he's put in me? Am I fulfilling the purpose
28:11
and the plan for me? Because here's the deal.
28:14
I'm not like anybody else. You're not like anybody
28:17
else. God has a special plan for you. When you
28:21
compare, you either come away with thinking you're
28:23
better or thinking you're worse, and both are
28:26
wrong. The fact is you're different. You're unique.
28:29
Can you imagine what would happen if little by
28:33
little you could say in your heart over and over,
28:36
Lord, you love me? You made me, you gifted me,
28:40
and you brought me to this place and this time
28:43
for a very specific purpose. I want to be who
28:47
you made me to be, and I want to fulfill the
28:50
plan that you have for me. God, would you help
28:54
me see that? Would you give me the courage to
28:57
step out and do it? I mean, can you imagine the
28:59
impact that would have, not just in your life,
29:02
but in the lives of believers, if we could just
29:05
pause? And you don't need to sing like that person.
29:08
You don't need to preach like that person. You
29:11
don't need to lead like that person. You don't
29:13
need to have mercy and compassion and counsel
29:15
like that person. You know what you need to do?
29:18
You just need to be you and take the gifts that
29:22
God's given you and the passions and even the
29:25
hurts that you've experienced that make you you.
29:29
And you need to not compare that person with
29:32
anyone else, but just say, Lord, What's that
29:35
look like to bring grace to my family? What's
29:37
that look like to encourage my friends? How does
29:40
me, just who you made me, what's that look like
29:43
showing up at work? Here's what I want you to
29:45
know. Comparison always leads to carnality. Break
29:51
the habit. Well, that's all for today. Join us
29:54
next time here on Living on the Edge with Chip
29:57
Ingram. Today's program is produced and sponsored
30:02
by Living on the Edge.