Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP72] How to keep your joy when pressure and responsibility take over (do your part, then trust)

Transcript

[EP72] How to keep your joy when pressure and responsibility take over (do your part, then trust) · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:01
  Does getting things done, like, you know, is getting things done more effective when you are joyful?
• 0:10
  Or is it more effective when you are less or not joyful?
• 0:16
  And, you know, like I've had a bit of a week of it this week.
• 0:19
  I think there were definitely a few, you know, like a day or two when I looked at some of the things and I thought,
• 0:24
  Oh, like, how am I going to, like, what's going to happen with this?
• 0:28
  How am I going to handle this?
• 0:35
  And, you know, like there's like a time where I just fell into, you know, like a pit basically of my own head.
• 0:45
  You could say playing games, but actually the head is kind of going, you know, like it's warning me like, oh, shit.
• 0:50
  What if this happens and what if that happens?
• 0:52
  But, you know, it's going to come up with the worst case scenario of everything.
• 0:57
  but actually
• 1:01
  that's just one
• 1:02
  of many many possibilities
• 1:05
  that things could go
• 1:08
  I want to say wrong
• 1:09
  but actually like you know
• 1:09
  not the way
• 1:11
  not the ideal way
• 1:12
  like you would you know
• 1:13
  expect or hope for
• 1:15
  like the result
• 1:17
  so the mind comes up with those
• 1:19
  right and just says like
• 1:20
  shit what if this
• 1:22
  doesn't work in that way
• 1:23
  and that thing doesn't work in that way
• 1:24
  and that thing doesn't work in that way
• 1:26
  and this week I had like this middle of the week I had like three kind of big things or
• 1:32
  kind of seemed big but they were like new they were new and big so my head's like I don't know
• 1:37
  it it's new and it seems you know big and at some point you know I wasn't thinking of like being
• 1:48
  more joyful while I'm trying to be effective. But I realized that, okay, what if this could
• 1:58
  go really well? And rather than thinking of a million different ways it could not go well
• 2:05
  or not work, what is the way that I would like it? What is my ideal outcome, result?
• 2:14
  and what if I put my focus on that and sometimes it seemed like you know it was really slim
• 2:23
  like just before satsang I had to print off some stuff and you know like I was on the phone
• 2:29
  to this department like an hour and a half finally managed to make the payment
• 2:35
  and I had to post the thing because you know we live in the UK so we are about
• 2:39
  500 years behind the world so we have to post everything so i managed to get there and literally
• 2:46
  had i don't know seven minutes five minutes before the post office closed and i just had this feeling
• 2:56
  like i'm gonna do my part i'm gonna just stay on this wonderful phone call and while i was on the
• 3:05
  wonderful phone call there was a message you know like they were saying something about like being
• 3:09
  polite to their staff and i was thinking i wasn't planning to be unpolite i wasn't going to shout at
• 3:15
  them like they're just doing their job but i could see you know like after an hour and a half of
• 3:19
  waiting i could see how some people would lose their shit right so the joy it's far from being
• 3:26
  joyful with them you could say um but while i was you know headphones on and listening to their
• 3:33
  wonderful depressing music i was just doing other stuff like i was just getting other things done
• 3:39
  and i'm like okay let me just get whatever else i can get done while i'm waiting because i don't
• 3:44
  know how long i'm going to be waiting on this call so let me just get other things done whatever i
• 3:48
  can without losing my queue like in your slot in the queue and then when i finally finished the
• 3:57
  wonderful phone call which the person was just so pleasant on the phone call I was like okay it's
• 4:04
  Friday evening they're probably very keen to go home whatever at least they've done the thing thank
• 4:09
  you and the next challenge was like okay I don't know if I'm going to make it to the post office
• 4:16
  and just there was a moment when I thought I shouldn't even bother like you know jumping
• 4:22
  on the bus I was like I need to get there quickly like I suppose the quickest get the buses the
• 4:27
  And it obviously is not that fast.
• 4:30
  And I thought, I'm going to miss, you know, like the doors are going to shut and I'm going to get there like one minute late.
• 4:37
  That's what Google Maps was telling me.
• 4:39
  And I thought, you know, I could either give up now.
• 4:42
  And then so the thing gets delayed by, you know, like a weekend.
• 4:46
  Or I could just see what happens.
• 4:48
  And, you know, let me just do my part and let's see what the universe does, basically.
• 4:55
  and just release, let go, trust
• 5:00
  and enjoy the bus ride there, which was pleasant
• 5:04
  and then I got out and literally was in front
• 5:07
  of the thing, I didn't run, I just walked there
• 5:10
  and there was a person who was very friendly and very kind
• 5:14
  and I was like, oh, thank you universe
• 5:18
  and she was like, do you need to get it in today? I was like, that would be wonderful
• 5:22
  let me just see if I can hold the postman for you.
• 5:24
  I was like, oh, he doesn't wait?
• 5:25
  She was like, he doesn't wait.
• 5:26
  I was like, okay, well, if you can, that would be amazing.
• 5:30
  Otherwise, tomorrow morning is fine.
• 5:32
  But she somehow felt my urgency, I guess.
• 5:34
  So she managed to talk to the guy and get him to, you know, whatever.
• 5:37
  And I was like getting my bits and pieces together and put it in the thing.
• 5:42
  And off it went.
• 5:43
  And by the time I did it and, you know, like walked out, yeah,
• 5:48
  that was like a bounce in my step because I thought, okay,
• 5:51
  There's one more, you know, one of the three big things this week.
• 5:54
  I thought, shit, I'm not going to handle that.
• 5:56
  That's done.
• 5:57
  That's off my list now.
• 5:59
  You know, that's taken care of.
• 5:59
  It's off.
• 6:00
  I've done my part.
• 6:02
  And I think, you know, we get into kind of, what was the words?
• 6:09
  Pressure.
• 6:10
  And we call that responsibility.
• 6:12
  When we disconnect, you know, and we go into being unconscious.
• 6:18
  we go into not trusting
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  you know which is like fear
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  and fear begets fear
• 6:29
  you know like would it be useful for me to just panic and freak out
• 6:33
  no freaking copies of this thing because apparently you need it
• 6:38
  no one could see that and I was like
• 6:42
  would you happen to have a stapler that I could borrow she's like yeah
• 6:44
  there you go you know and it all just somehow flowed and actually this week has been like that
• 6:51
  big things came but they all flowed and the other big thing that i you know managed to get done this
• 6:57
  week was something that has been sitting on my list for like almost a decade i'm not proud of
• 7:02
  that but i'm so glad that i've actually finally got it off my list and done sorted thank you
• 7:06
  so i think it's just you know slipping back into like you know the like the slip stream
• 7:12
  you could say like the flow of the universe and letting it carry you and trusting you know because
• 7:20
  there's only so much we can like we're going to do our part but unless you know you've done your part
• 7:26
  like i could have listened to the voice in my head and you know responded to fear and gone you know
• 7:31
  yeah actually so i'm going to miss you know like i'm going to miss the door it's like the person's
• 7:36
  going to shut the door i should just go back tomorrow instead because you know they open in
• 7:41
  on the weekend or something. It's not the end of the world, but I was like, let's see what happens.
• 7:48
  Let me just do my part. Let me just show up and do my part. That can be done in a way that's
• 7:53
  relaxed. I can enjoy my journey there and smile at people and say hello if I feel like it,
• 8:00
  and still walk with intention and get there and get the thing done.
• 8:04
  It still got done. The actual task was either get done or not done.
• 8:11
  And before the, after the phone call and before the bus, there was like another episode, which was like, you know, getting the fucking thing printed.
• 8:20
  And it would just so happen that the printer driver wouldn't work and this printer didn't work.
• 8:24
  And that thing, you plug it in, you go download the driver.
• 8:26
  I'm like, okay.
• 8:28
  And we just, you know, and I got my family, like they're trying to have conversation with me.
• 8:31
  I was like, yep.
• 8:33
  And I'm like trying to download this and trying to print that.
• 8:37
  But sometimes you've just got to roll with it and just flow with whatever shows up in the moment.
• 8:43
  Trust that it's going to be whatever it's going to be.
• 8:47
  And I think I would have been equally fine, content if I missed the door.
• 8:52
  Like, I was like, you know what? I give it a go.
• 8:54
  And I'll just come back and still have a satsang.
• 8:58
  Same with the other stuff this week.
• 9:00
  I mean, that's one of those tasks that have been there for a very long time.
• 9:03
  I really wanted to get it done.
• 9:06
  possibility that you know like I could have I could have got like a no like you can't you know
• 9:12
  do this part now but it was fine so yeah I think coming back is a very long-winded way of answering
• 9:19
  the question but like joy is something that is our natural state and we disconnect from it because we
• 9:28
  go into our heads and the head says you know whatever voice of fear you know or like it's
• 9:36
  us, you know, what if this thing doesn't work, that bad thing happens, it's trying to like,
• 9:41
  protect us. But what if it goes really, really well, better than you can actually expect.
• 9:47
  And this week, I'd say like, the three things that I thought, wow, okay. Not like, oh, shit,
• 9:53
  but like, I wonder how this is going to resolve. I can either do it panicked in fear or trusting
• 10:01
  and just taking the steps that I can take.
• 10:05
  And that's that.
• 10:08
  You know, and just keep, like, get back into the slipstream.
• 10:12
  You know, get back into the flow so the universe actually can carry you
• 10:15
  and get back into your flow, your natural state of joy.
• 10:22
  Whatever, like excitement or peace or whatever your, you know,
• 10:27
  those energies that you can connect with, the higher frequencies.
• 10:31
  It's not you have to disconnect from joy to be effective, you know, or productive.
• 10:39
  It's actually we will be more productive if we stay connected to our joyfulness.
• 10:44
  Because there's a lightness and things just move faster and with less effort.
• 10:50
  And I forget that all the time.
• 10:52
  Because I drop, you know, a lot and very easily into,
• 10:56
  Get shit done. I'm here to focus. Everyone get out of the way.
• 11:02
  And sometimes, yeah, it's needed because everyone's just like meandering around.
• 11:06
  So it's like, move.
• 11:08
  And you just got to go and get the thing done.
• 11:10
  But generally, you don't need to.
• 11:12
  You can kind of still cut through the noise and have a lightness to it.
• 11:18
  And things seem to happen with much more ease.
• 11:21
  Like, you know, I guess if I had run up to the post office and like screamed of the woman at the reception or whatever,
• 11:27
  like she probably would have just shut the door on me.
• 11:29
  Like, good.
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  No way.
• 11:30
  Luck.
• 11:30
  We're finished.
• 11:31
  Bye.
• 11:31
  get that energy out of me.
• 11:33
  But, you know, I think I was pretty relaxed.
• 11:35
  And I was like, I'm not sure which one of these or maybe this one.
• 11:38
  And she was like, do you want to get it in today?
• 11:40
  I'm like, that would be amazing.
• 11:41
  Thank you.
• 11:42
  Let me see what I can do.
• 11:45
  You know, it's reciprocated.
• 11:47
  You know, people sense that, you know, life around us kind of senses that
• 11:51
  because we are sending that energy out and they'll respond to that,
• 11:54
  that joyfulness, that lightness.
• 11:57
  And I think I've talked about like an ex-partner of mine
• 12:01
  who used to just be in so much joy all the time.
• 12:03
  And I was like, you piss me off
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  because shit just happens for you.
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  Everything just falls from the sky
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  and everything just happens for you.
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  And here I am like trying so hard to make shit happen
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  and it doesn't happen.
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  But you know, it makes sense
• 12:16
  because that joyfulness is,
• 12:20
  what's the word?
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  I'm lost for words today.
• 12:25
  It's addictive.
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  Like, you know, people want to be around that energy.
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  Not addictive, but you know,
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  so you want to be around that
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  and you want to interact with that energy
• 12:38
  you want to kind of interface with that
• 12:40
  that joyfulness, that lightness, that playfulness
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  the bounciness or the bobbliness
• 12:46
  magnetic, thank you, that's the word
• 12:47
  it draws you in
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  and that's something I'm still learning I think
• 12:55
  because I can very easily drop into like
• 12:57
  I'm here to get you done, get out of the way
• 13:02
  you know like inner work meditation yoga just like working on myself and evolving
• 13:08
  i find that you know it's like i think of it like um i don't know like a kung fu master or an aikido
• 13:15
  master like you don't see them running around unless like a yoda for example just be very slow
• 13:23
  and peaceful and well thought out and then there was a scene i can't remember which one of the
• 13:31
  was Yoda was actually fighting I think it was Darth Vader or one of those like you know the
• 13:36
  dark forces and he was like doing crazy things like you know and the kung fu masters are kind
• 13:43
  of like that too right or like the the Aikido masters like they'll just with one little finger
• 13:47
  when you go flying there's an effortlessness like you know there's a mastery is like mastering the
• 13:54
  self and the franticness which actually comes from like a lack of trust or lack of connection
• 14:01
  or lack of flow you know like fear that's almost non-existent because they've gone through years
• 14:08
  of probably training themselves to deal with whatever comes you know and they're unfazed by
• 14:15
  their center you know like a meditation i don't know like a monk or like a just someone who's you
• 14:24
  think like you know you can watch anyone who's really a master of something and there is this
• 14:29
  kind of ease and effortlessness and i guess the path that we're all on and you know we're learning
• 14:35
  is mastery of self you know so being able to be in a certain you know place within ourself our
• 14:44
  center our power without it having to be like loud and boisterous and you know all-consuming
• 14:54
  is like quiet, powerful, you know, like center.
• 14:59
  And the power can be unleashed,
• 15:02
  but it can be done with so little effort,
• 15:04
  but so much, you know, impact.
• 15:07
  I just think of that, you know, like as mastery.
• 15:11
  You see anyone who is a master at what they do,
• 15:14
  there's this kind of lightness, effortlessness,
• 15:18
  and a lot of times joyfulness as well.
• 15:21
  Someone who's actually been on their journey
• 15:24
  who's experienced a lot.
• 15:25
  You know, a lot of times, like, they will chuckle about things
• 15:28
  and, you know, like the Dalai Lama would just, like,
• 15:31
  chuckle about things, he'll giggle.
• 15:33
  But there's just this little real, what's the word I'm looking for?
• 15:38
  Like a reverence, you know, like a power within themselves.
• 15:42
  Thank you.
• 15:44
  Yeah, so, yeah, that's what I'd say.
• 15:48
  So it's actually, it's not mutually exclusive.
• 15:52
  it's what if you can be more affected by being and staying in a joyfulness lightness so that
• 15:59
  the heaviness of whatever doesn't not that you know i'm always happy and light it's like you
• 16:03
  don't carry it you know it can move through and or you can actually weave around it and move around
• 16:11
  it and move you know move with it and it's easier when there's less pressure and things are calm
• 16:17
  and it takes a lot to maintain that when things are so-called stressful and i think that's where
• 16:22
  it really shows you know the truth of that i want to say person but one in like one of their layers
• 16:31
  and levels of truth like okay how is this person reacting under stress and pressure it shows you
• 16:38
  know who they really are inside so then you know learning to deal with the pressure and the stress
• 16:44
  so that the external doesn't affect you or impact you.
• 16:49
  Same with, you know, when something goes well,
• 16:53
  like I think it was this morning,
• 16:56
  actually one of those three things.
• 16:58
  And I got like a response from the other side
• 17:01
  and it was a favorable response and I could feel myself.
• 17:05
  I could see myself going into like, wow, okay,
• 17:08
  that was the kind of, that was a great response, you know.
• 17:11
  And then I was like, hmm, that's interesting.
• 17:17
  suddenly I've decided I'm going to have a good day
• 17:20
  because I just had this response.
• 17:22
  And I realized, yes, and in the next moment
• 17:26
  I could get another response from somewhere else
• 17:28
  and it could not be a favorable response.
• 17:31
  So does that mean my day goes down the toilet then?
• 17:35
  Straight away.
• 17:36
  And that's how our day, it's just like a rollercoaster.
• 17:40
  So the highs and the lows,
• 17:42
  You know, I think it says in the Yoga Sutras, if I'm not mistaken, you're unaffected by the highs or the lows.
• 17:48
  Doesn't mean you don't feel.
• 17:51
  This is that you don't get attached to the highs or the lows.
• 17:54
  It doesn't decide whether you are happy.
• 17:58
  You know, so maintaining like a like a median, you know, the median, the general, the average is not just flat, but it's, you know, like above average.
• 18:08
  So you're generally kind of joyful in light, but you're not, you know, like you're not just bouncing off the walls all the time, which most of those times I think when I see people like that, a lot of times, you know, they'll just come crashing down.
• 18:21
  And when they crash, it's like, oh my God.
• 18:23
  And then, you know, it takes a lot for them to bounce back up.
• 18:25
  And when they do it, something just lifts them straight up again.
• 18:27
  and they're just up and down and up and down like a yo-yo,
• 18:30
  like a rollercoaster all day long or all week or all year
• 18:34
  when actually it's good to feel the highs, the lows,
• 18:40
  but they don't decide what emotions you can live in.
• 18:47
  A lot of times I talk about the emotional home.
• 18:51
  So that's something that we can...
• 18:53
  It was interesting.
• 18:54
  I saw myself this morning.
• 18:57
  I am. I had a favorable response. So suddenly in my head, in a split moment, I decided like,
• 19:04
  wow, it's going to be a good day. I was like, what? What was that? It's going to be a great
• 19:08
  day today. I was like, why wouldn't every day be a great day? Just because I got some response,
• 19:13
  which I didn't know about three seconds before I looked at it, it's going to decide my day.
• 19:19
  Does that decide my day? No. Like, you know, we give away our happiness. We give away our joy.
• 19:29
  without realizing it.
• 19:30
  And that's the unconscious part
• 19:31
  that I guess you're talking about.
• 19:35
  So it's staying conscious
• 19:37
  and staying unattached
• 19:38
  doesn't mean it's staying unfeeling.
• 19:41
  It just means that we, you know,
• 19:43
  the external doesn't affect,
• 19:45
  doesn't dictate,
• 19:47
  not so much even affect,
• 19:48
  but dictate
• 19:50
  who you are and how you are
• 19:52
  and how you live.
• 19:53
  Yeah.
• 19:54
  And I think that's the path
• 19:55
  that we're all on.
• 19:57
  teaches that. Meditation teaches that.