Latest / High n' Dry Podcast / Episode 35. Punching Nazis on a Moving Train & James Bond vs. Annabelle (Feat. Garrett K. Jones, Author and Publisher)

Transcript

Episode 35. Punching Nazis on a Moving Train & James Bond vs. Annabelle (Feat. Garrett K. Jones, Author and Publisher) · High n' Dry Podcast

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: We have a few people who think that they have to move away to laugh.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that defeats the purpose.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: So it sounded like we were just doing stand-up and the guest was listening and didn't find it funny at all.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um so yeah, so don't worry about laughing, don't worry about any of that.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um swear, have fun, do whatever.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's all good.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds good.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I used to do radio in college, so I've I've got a background here.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Awesome.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Nice and work out just fine.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_03: Then we then I take what I said back, we expect a lot from you.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you really shouldn't.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't expect much from myself.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: All right, you guys ready to do this?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ready.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's been it's been a long time.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: We can make it happen.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're good.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so welcome to High and Dry Podcast, the only podcast where we do all of our own stunts.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Ryan Barron North, drunk philosopher.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: With me as always, James Crosslin, Resident High Philosopher.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on, James?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: Hey Ryan, long time no see.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we we actually, you know, I'd love to share this with everyone that since since things have opened up, since vaccinations have been, you know, the rates have been really good, we got to go do karaoke for Ryan's birthday the other weekend.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_03: Karaoke for the first time in a year.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck yeah.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_03: Love me some karaoke.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's a good time.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: It was a very great time.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Very nice getting out of the house for a minute.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: So that was pretty cool.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I pretty cool.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: And I got a vacation coming up.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: This is the best like three-week period ever.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm happy for you.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna keep going.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so joining us today as a fellow drunken philosopher.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um welcome into the show Garrett K.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Jones.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: He's the author of the Archives of the Five Kingdoms book series.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Garrett, my man, what's going on?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: How you doing?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for being here.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing great.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm just, you know, it's a nice warm, sunny day here in the middle of California, and I'm I'm excited to be a part of the podcast.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is great.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, cool.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we're we're happy to have you.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have some good times.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: We uh we have a fun question, I think.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I'm excited for it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: So this should be good.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so we could tell us a little more about your uh the archives of the five kingdoms.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So the the actual title is The Archives of Isync Ran.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Async Ran literally means the five kingdoms.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it is a uh it's a fantasy series that I've been writing out.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: I've got four books out currently.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I started working on this uh about 20 years ago when I was living in Japan as an exchange student.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the characters were all developed as comic book characters that I created in high school, and I quickly learned that I am not as talented of an artist as I thought I would be to get into the comic industry.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but I could spin a good yarn, so I decided I would turn my attentions to writing, and I haven't looked back since, with one exception in college, during my uh my community college days.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: I had a writing teacher who just demolished me.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I almost gave up, but I instead uh got revenge by removing the wheels from his bicycle while it was still chained.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: All right, all right.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, but uh you overcame and you got the four books out, so that's pretty cool.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I'm working on book five now.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going through edits.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um well we'll have to keep an eye out for that.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And again, so thanks for being on the show.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna be joining me as a uh drunk philosopher, and so as this goes, before we jump into our question, before we get this on, we gotta get a little drunk and we gotta get a little high.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um so James, what are you smoking this week?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh this week I've got a wonderful strain that I've heard a lot of good things about called GMO.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I just want to point out to anyone out there who thinks like GMO is bad, everything you eat's a GMO.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: Get over it.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: It's just the name of a strain.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking deal.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: All right, all right, cool, cool, cool.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so uh Garrett, you were coming on as the drunken philosopher.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's good not to be alone around here.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what are you gonna be drinking today?
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I have a Long Island iced tea that I mixed up this afternoon uh just because I thought it would be a nice, refreshing summer drink.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: Nice.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: All right, I mean they'll knock you on your ass if you're not careful.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that's good.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, I'll be joining you guys.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: I have picked out uh some Kilbryn single malt Irish whiskey, aged 10 years according to the bottle.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, triple distilled, apparently.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Approved by Aaron O'Reilly, and that's how you know it's Irish.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's what they're going for there.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, someone's got the last name O'Reilly.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: And therefore they're very Irish.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's either that or they own a car parts store.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's the founder of O'Reilly Auto Parts.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, dang.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: At the same time.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: With the delay, it's hard.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: It was he he would have he got me in the past, though.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it's uh it's Irish whiskey aged 10 years at a car parts store.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: So it's gonna be very delicious.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Let's pour them up, get them ready here.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: So this first one, here we go.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: This first one, of course, going out to Cher, Carl Urban, and our newest guest, Garrett.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for coming on, man.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_03: This one tastes like a pine tree.
• 6:07
  unknown: Oh, good.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: That one just tasted like battery acid.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: I I think it's been sitting there a little too long.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_03: It smells like battery acid.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, how's the Long Island ice tea?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: It is strong and refreshing, and I've been drinking it way too quickly.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, all right.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, those are the best questions come.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he was getting started.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: We yeah, we could we could see on on camera, we're all on camera together.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: We could see he's been going.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: He's been drinking that drink.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_03: We rightly waited a little bit.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we waited a moment.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: We knew that the shots were coming.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: All right, and so uh that brings us into our second toast.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: This one today is going out to Flowing Wells, Arizona.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: Flowing Wells, thanks for joining us.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully you're still around.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hopefully your wells have kept up.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_03: Hopefully, climate change.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Wells are flowing.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're probably doing a lot better than we are here in California.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're still in drought season.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oof.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and but the the golf courses and things still perfectly green grass.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: Do you remember last year during the fires?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: I saw some pretty crazy scenes of people golfing with like fires like raging in the background.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, God damn it.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Son of a bitch.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: All right, and now that brings us into our third toast.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Garrett, what's it to?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, for the third toast, I just want to give a uh a shout out to all the wonderful authors and collaborators that I've been able to work with this year on my YouTube channel.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I do author interviews and writing tips, and uh I've had uh a great number of guests come on.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of them are indie authors like myself, and it's been fun to collaborate and work with them.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: So cheers.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: That is awesome.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Solid toast.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, cheers.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Here's to them.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: So all I've had to eat today is MMs.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: Perfect.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this is a healthy way to live.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: Should I should I should we sit down and talk like not on the radio once in a while?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: Probably.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's all good.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm surviving.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of calories in those.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: We could live years off of MMs if you really want.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: Are they the ones with the peanuts?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: You got protein?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's peanuts in there.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_03: You got protein then, you're fine.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're fine.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: There's no worries.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's all good.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so we're a little drunk, we're a little high, everything's alright.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: I feel great.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's time to jump into our question.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: So, the question I have for you guys today, we decided to go the more fun route with it.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm excited for this one.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't considered it at all, so we'll just kind of go off the cuff fueled by Kilbryn.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: Carpart whiskey.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the question I have for you guys today.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Tastes like it too.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: So the question I have for you guys today is if you could take on the life or if you could become any fictional character, um, I think this is fitting, being that you know, we brought you know authors and things on the show.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you could take over the life of a fictional character, any fiction, whatever you want, who would it be?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: That Kilburn came out of the how good was it the second time around?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Kilburn's coming hard.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: So taking the life of any fictional character, guests first, Garrett, what fictional character would you take the life of?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, uh, in respect to the Irish whiskey, I would say I would want to avoid any character ever played by Sean Bean.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is a question I've actually often thought about.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I mean, because growing up as a kid, I always wanted to, you know, live some kind of life of adventure.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I got really into comic books as a kid and adventure movies and stuff like that.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um Indiana Jones was always one of my heroes, either him or Han Solo, because well, one, you're Harrison Ford.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Two, you you've got a solid reputation for you know getting into scrapes and then you know getting out of them pretty easily.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You're you know, especially Indiana Jones, who's you know quick on his feet and his he's got some really good reflexes and he's intelligent.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: He does fail upward sometimes.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: He does.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: He does.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think the greatest example of him failing upwards has got to be by far the um the refrigerator scene from the beginning of the atrocious fourth movie.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: But it was it was like I mean, he should have been dead.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: You just you you you know how to draw in the audience because there's pretty so many people out there who are just like, oh, that fucking scene, I can't believe we brought that scene up.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_03: Either well, either really happy about it or really like immediately angry.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's not how nuclear explosions work.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not it's not.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um but uh it's an But it's it's a nice superpower to have.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it is.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um just I I I like the idea of being able to go on adventures.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: He he studies history, he studies uh archaeology, he he gets this he gets to look at these ancient wonders of the world, and you know, he gets to travel across borders uh and just have these wonderful, marvelous adventures and you know, punch the daylights out of Nazis.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: So there's I mean, who you know, there's nothing what more can a man ask for.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's true.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Not at all.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not at all.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: I I uh nothing like I could be I mean, like I could be late to work, like a tire pops, you know, I'm having the worst day of my life, but if I get to punch a Nazi, it just picks me right back up.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, punching a Nazi, there's nothing wrong with punching a Nazi.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh everybody should be.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: I think everybody, I think we should have punching a Nazi day.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we should have kids line enough to learn how to punch Nazis when they're when they're old enough to have that level of coordination.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, I don't even think even when they're old enough.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's like when so I just the other day um I had brought my girlfriend's son to a uh picnic thing and there was a dunk tank, and he's trying to throw the ball at the little dunk tank, and he just doesn't have the power for it.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: So I hit it like after he threw the ball, I hit it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: So after he punches the Nazi, I'll just fucking elbow him in the nose.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you don't throw the ball at the plunger, you throw the ball at the Nazi.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly, exactly.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I've I've thought about I've thought about other characters.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Other characters, I th, you know, they seem to be like they would be cool.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I mean, who wouldn't want to be Batman because of the, you know, you get to play with the cool toys and the awesome car, but then you've got the you've got that uh drawback of in order to be Batman, your parents have to be dead.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um or you know, Wolverine's another comic book favorite of mine.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: One person's drawback is another person's superpower.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, and I uh so just you bringing up Indiana Jones like that.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think I went into so I I have a degree in anthropology and I branch off into archaeology, and I think deep down it was always because I wanted to fight Nazis from a moving train.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, that's that's the the schooling I need for that.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: There was lots of Indiana Jones inspired a lot of people to learn about places other than America, which is super cool.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there is some problems with it belongs in a museum instead of it belongs in the hands of the people whose culture it belongs to.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_03: But also, but he does get to punch not Nazis a lot.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_03: He was learning.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: He he was he was a progressive.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_03: For his time, quite progressive.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, this is one of those those topics, you know, which fictional character um would you be if you could?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's the way I look at it is you know, there's always going to be some something you're gonna lose and something you're gonna gain.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, with any superhero character, you're thinking of, well, cool, I've got these access to these really cool powers or these really cool adventures or this awesome suit and technology, but there's something you have in order to be that person, you have to go through and lose whatever it is that they've lost in order.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: There's a trade-off because you're not because you you're if you're living a day in their life, you're gonna have to experience things as they experience them.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, see, and you just tapped into the secret theme of high and dry.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because we ask questions like these, like what would you do differently, or things like that.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: And the the secret answer behind high and dry is well, I'm not gonna take any of them.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna be healthy.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's like I have to uh there is a trade-off.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: No matter what, everything is a double-edged sword.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: Be grateful for what you got, try to try to grow and be healthy, and don't don't try to spread too far.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's yeah, that's pretty accurate.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that's not what the listeners came here for.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: So James, no, of course not.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so James, fictional character, who the fuck are you gonna be?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I'm gonna be uh a Marky Marks character from Boogie Knights.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: He's his head of maid.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, he just wants the ads.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the ads.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's the ev all these sex with these women I don't want to have, but I got to because it's my job.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Someone's gotta please the women of South Boston.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_03: So let's see.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_03: Oh man, I had all that time to think about it.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: I gave this, I I gave this thought, this question no thought at all.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's interesting that all the people that are most interesting have had some deep trauma, right?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's the thing, is that is that they've all had that's how we're able to have this podcast.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's right.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: I have also had some deep trauma, but very different deep trauma.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: I wonder I now that now that you said that, Garrett, I definitely am thinking about what trauma I'm inheriting from from the characters I'm thinking of.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, if you have anyone before 2008, they were just fucking toxic masculinity sociopaths.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's I I have an answer.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: I have not that class trader from the Paw Patrol.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me it's not him.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_03: I just want to be a dog and chew my ass all day, please.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_03: Be a cop.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_03: So I think that I would be Michael from the good place.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I I bet some of our listeners out there have seen the good place.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: But the good the good place is a television show where there's a bunch of humans who are in hell, but it's made to look like a heaven.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: But this heaven seems to have all these drawbacks, and and they like they don't know that they're in the bad place and being tortured.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's like a big reveal at the end of season one.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_03: But the show goes on for three more fucking seasons.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: And Michael started out as a demon, but he became something else in the process.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_03: He like had a really long growth story arc uh into like uh you know self-awareness and like the realization that he's like infantile in the scope of the universe and and this whole great arc, and at the end he gets to become human.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's like the ultimate goal, is that it is eventually to be happy to be human.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: That would be that would that's the eventual conclusion I want is to be happy and grateful for this opportunity to be a human.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like that would be an amazing story arc, and I'd really it it would lead to this feeling of contentness in the end that is unbeatable.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's like all I want in the world is like this ultimate feeling of contentedness.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if I'm just under a lot of stress.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the interesting thing about the good place is they created a hell that I would prefer to a heaven, yeah.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like for sure.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: They they made it very inch dynamic, right?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like I get to keep my sense of self and who I am.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: And grow, actually.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I get to grow and learn and everything like that.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: And um, you know, and just I mean, just if the if I I don't remember that portion of the good place, if they go to the you know, the Catholic heaven at the end where they've just lost any sense of self and they're just happy worshiping God.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's not like a god at the end.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: They're just like they just they have eternity and their brains turn to mush because there's nothing at stake anymore.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: There's there they once you experience everything, what else is there to experience?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: And they just they just became like happiness pumps.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they became happiness zombies, and they were just kind of like they lost all sense of themselves.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: That's what heaven was like.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's trippy.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: I got I stopped watching halfway through season three, so I'm I'm I'm behind by a whole season and a half.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: It is it is super interesting.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: They do eventually get there, and there is event that's not the resolution.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_03: The resolution isn't just that they lose their minds, which would be like a cool ending to the show if they were like that's it, y'all get to lose your minds now.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like we'd be happy to zombies and joy.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta go do this again.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: This is my job.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that's a that's a solid pick.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then uh so for me, if I had to pick any fictional character, I would, and and this is you know, of course, the problem with the way we do this is that jumping into the next person who's I've had no time to think about this, haven't thought about this at all.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I would say just my my drunken whiskey-filled mind is telling me Lucifer.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: But you never actually get to have sex because that all happens off camera.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: That's just yeah, we had sex.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's implied.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: It's the implication of sex with everyone.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um I wouldn't even I'm not talking about that Lucifer.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you're talking about the comic Lucifer.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, I was talking about the biblical one.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, the biblical Lucifer, truly.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um we both pick people who weren't people.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_03: They weren't even human.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: Not even human.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I like I think I might now that I'm kind of going into it, I think that I would want to be the devil.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um but no, I would want to be the I mean, I guess more the biblical new age one that you know expands on the canon.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: The light bringer.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the lightbringer, and you know, I created all the stars and I did all those things, and I have my own kingdom because I rebelled against you know utter um control and mistreatment.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: People say you got exiled, but you carved out a kingdom that once All belong to God.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I I I guess, yeah, I'd I'd if I had to pick a fictional character, I would be the biblical new age Lucifer, you know, who got to tell his own story a little bit.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I carved out my own kingdom that once belonged to the one guy, you know, and I the whole thing started because I wanted to give, you know, free will and thought, and I believe in freedom, and I, you know, and I wanted to step away from the way I'm being controlled and everything like that.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm powerful as fuck and sexy as hell.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: Um what else can you ask for?
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: What else can I ask for?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: And you punching Nazis, that's not in your well, I mean, I don't know.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_03: You could you could, but it's not in your canon.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: It's not so it's not so apparent.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, Garrett, what were you saying?
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: I I did my master's degree in in biblical studies.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and it's funny that you bring this up because uh you're referencing two different versions of Lucifer.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're referencing a biblical version, but then you're referencing a new age version.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the new age version is more in line with what we know of in pop culture.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and a lot of there's a lot of misinformation.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: When you go back to looking at uh the the biblical origins, especially in the Old Testament, and you're looking at that and reading through it in Hebrew Lucifer or Satan, which the Hebrew word Satan means the enemy or the accuser or the adversary.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so there are times where the word Satan, uh, which in Hebrew is Hasitan, the Satan, um, it actually can be used in a generic term, not necessarily in a spiritual way, but it also is used in a spiritual way.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it could have been a more historical context.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it could be used, it can be used in a social context, um in reference to anyone who is opposing you.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it because it could be theor because it can be looked at in terms of actually.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_03: So it could have just been the opponent this whole time.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like they could have had like an election and he would have still been called Satan because he was the opponent.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Where pop culture tends to get it wrong, uh, especially when looking at it through the Old Testament lens, is that uh Lucifer doesn't carve out this kingdom, he he does rebel, yes.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but from the very beginning, he's been in rebellion towards God and everything that God had set in place.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, yes and no.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that he's trying to get people to think for themselves and have this free will.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: What he's actually trying to do is he is the epitome of misery in that uh what we think of as as his kingdom, hell, is not a kingdom, it's his prison for all of eternity.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: And he and right now, uh until that point, uh you know, he is existent in the earthly realm, trying to uh uh have as much company come with him as possible because of this rehab's comment.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_03: So not that one.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, uh or only that one, and not the enjoyable part.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think that either way I'm gonna have a great time.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um great story arc, either way.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Either way, I got a story arc coming.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um and there's the like even if uh so first, horned half-naked devil women all over the place, I'm good to go.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: And that it's happening either way.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um and you don't mind making them miserable if that's their fate.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we're doing.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then, you know, uh but then either way, in both versions of it, when you you got that, I'm I'm gonna be coming to the because all powerful, omniscient, all those sort of things, it's a uh it's a plot hole.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um because if you're all powerful, why are you making these bad things happen?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'd be like, look, dad, don't give me that mysterious ways bullshit.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: I ain't interested.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then he's like, You're going down to where all the naked devil women are.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, you're saying if I rebel, I can go down to where all the bad people are.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Where we were gonna play blackjack and drink and all that.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: The new agey version.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_03: We got it.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I'm going with the new agey version.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I so that yeah, so there's my final answer.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: If I had to take over the fun devil.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm gonna be the fun devil.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna have a good time.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna change my answer.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be James Franco from Alien Covenant, where he just burns alive for 30 seconds and he gets to skip the rest of that.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_03: I want to be James Franco in Pineapple Express.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: Boom! Perfect.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: Nailed it.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: Is that your final thought?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yep, that's it.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: All right, cool.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, with that, it's time to move on to the second part of our podcast.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: We got a good fist fight for you.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: But before we do that, it's time to get a little more drunk and it's time to get a little more high.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, here we go.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: Loading up the shot glass.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going in with this fucking kill, Bryn.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm 100% sure that this has just been airing out and I'm just killing myself.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, listen, no need to complain about it.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_03: Our listeners don't want to hear you complain, they want to hear you drink.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: I guess that's true.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, how much do I got left in there?
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let me see if I could really fill this guy up.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: I want to get rid of the Kilbrin.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh look at that, you did it.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: Bam.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so there we go.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: The Kilburn is gonna be gone after this.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that is a that is a deep shot.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: That is filling up the entire high and dry podcast shot glass.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Which you can get if you participate in our tournament.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_03: Or Patreon.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_03: Or Patreon.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: So cheers.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this one is going out to James.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_01: Who's it's going out to?
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: This one's going out to our fighters today.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: James Bond and Oh, Annabelle.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh shit.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_03: He got it with very little remembrance.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, it's the closest he's ever gotten.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's the closest I've ever been.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: So cheers.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm holding this shot glass while I'm waiting for you to tell the characters, and I just smelled it.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's just off-gasing.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_03: It smells like rusting alcohol, yeah.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's just off-gassing.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: All right, cheers.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Here's to Annabelle and here's to James Bond.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: Cheers.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: You know what's interesting.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, good.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: I I was gonna say I should have made a Vesper martini for those.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh dang.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, opportunity.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: I know, right?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, dude, that sounds really good.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: Although I don't have I don't have any uh gin, vodka, or well, I had the gin vodka.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not even making it lily, because that stuff's hard to come by.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: No, they have to use uh Lilith Blanc.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's a little bit of uh James Bond stuff for you nerds out there.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: Nerds?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so it's actually I've actually had it twice in the last year.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: That I've um that martini.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love it.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, it's a great martini.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: We've I mean everyone ordered that martini because they were like, ah, Daniel Craig's so fucking cool.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Daniel Craig, he made uh he made Bond sexy again.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_03: He did.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, it's interesting that James Bond is like a more problematic version of Garrett's choice of Indiana Jones.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's like a much more problematic I think that's gonna come up in the fight, and I think that's only happening because the newer audience like demanded Skyfall and they wanted a lot less of fucking Pierce Brosnan.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_03: Um, well, so or Sean Connery, honestly.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um the new Bond doesn't slap enough women.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, there was some there's some times where you're watching that and like, ooh, that's problematic.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, um, so here we go.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're moving into the fist fight.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: So, how this works, High Enjoy Podcast has this broken down into a three-round method that is completely undisputable.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_01: The philosophers themselves cannot dispute it once it's all said and done.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: So, round one, we've entered a Gen X bar and the two characters take off their shirts, shoes, and belts and just beat each other to death.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we watch that happen.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: We watch this this doll wrap herself up for the fight.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_03: Comes out in a row with her curls, fucking blank stare.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_03: Your sent from Goldfinger.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so and then round two that we now zoom out into a city view where these two characters have 24 hours to kill the other one, and I'm realizing how ridiculous this is going to be.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it's gonna be inside the Warren's glass case.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: So like Ed will come in and slap the letter on there.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_03: What the fuck is this about, doll?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: And she's gotta go kill Bond.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then round three is the same thing as round two, except now they get to bring a friend.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: God.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: And and that'll be even more ridiculous.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so this is a good cooldown fight.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is gonna be good.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: So cooldown fight.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: We've just entered into the Gen X bar.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: We've been brought downstairs into the basement.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: We've gotten that shady nod from the bartender who knows what's going down downstairs.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: What in the hell is a Gen X bar?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_01: The one in fight club.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, gotcha.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we've just gone down the stairs.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um Brad Pitt is explaining the rules.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, um Cher and Carl Urban have been escorted upstairs to explain the rules.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, uh Cher and Carl Urban have just been seated in the box seats, the high and dry philosophers after that, and we're getting ready to watch the two of these people beat the fuck out of each other.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: So Annabelle has been tossed in the corner.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um Sean Connery's confused.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna slap those curls off you.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh she may be a dancer, but she ain't no lady.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so this episode's gonna be just floated with fucking Sean Connery quotes.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, um, so Annabelle the doll is tossed in the corner.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Sean Connery, I guess, because that's the strongest version of Bond, is taking his shirt off and they're getting ready to fight.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: So guests first.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_03: Who do you think of when you think Bond?
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think Daniel Craig.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: I totally think Sean Connery.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um well, but I know that the strongest version of Bond was definitely Sean Connery.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: Oh well, yes and no.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Physically stronger, I would say Craig, but uh as far as personality-wise, yes, definitely.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and just the the the as far as the items that he could bring to the table.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_03: The theme of the movie was that he could do literally anything.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: Uh so that he so he can he gets that theme.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, so I think we're we're looking here at a 30-year-old Sean Connery James Bond finding Annabelle the doll.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's what we get.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's what we get.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm excited to see how it plays out.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_03: So guests first.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: Although in this one, physically, we should do physically.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_03: We should make this one, we should give Daniel Craig the round that he's best at, which is uh as a physical James Bond, right?
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so maybe it is well, we'll let's let's talk it out.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: So why why don't we merge the two?
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, let's figure it out.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: So um, so guests first, Garrett, what do you think happens?
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're watching these characters, they're getting ready just to punch each other to death.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, for one, you've got a a super spy with a literal license to kill, and you have a literal fucking doll.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um I mean, sure, it's it's tethered to a it's it's the tether for a demon coming into this world, but the doll itself is for the most part pretty flaccid.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um much like Timothy Dalton's James Bond.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um I love Timothy Dalton and in uh Hot Fuzz, though.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: Well, like I'm Oh, oh yeah, oh absolutely if we if we had to have Timothy Dalton James Bond to get Timothy Dalton and Hot Fuzz, I'm not accepting it, yeah.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: That that would be an interesting round because it would be you know for the greater good.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, um solid pull.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: Personally, I I think in this round, I mean, being the fact that James Bond is a scrapper, he knows how to fight, he knows how to handle himself, and it's a fucking doll.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I mean, the man's got a uh a laser on his damn wristwatch.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: All he has to do is set the doll on.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't get the he doesn't get to take that off.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_03: Brad Pitt is very thorough and he searched every cravat.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_03: He doesn't get any gadgets, he has to slap fight her.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's how if we if we go with if we do go with Sean Connery, he only knows how to slap fight and do wild haymakers.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: Then, since you've hamstrung me on this one, um Daniel Craig does know how to fight, though.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then I would have to say he would use his his greatest asset at his disposal, which is he's gonna fuck that dog.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: Probably probably he's gonna fuck that dog.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Probably.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it's the same.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's a woman, it's woman-like.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_03: Enough that he can do that.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: He's gonna fuck that dog.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: So that would probably be the uh that would probably be the fastest submission, but at the same time, more than likely, um he'd probably just like get a bunch of splinters.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's it's a porcelain dollars.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I didn't know.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so yeah, so the majority of the doll, I mean you fracture the face, it's gone.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_03: So is does this doll get destroyed at any point?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: So no, we've never seen it destroyed, and and it's it's like integral to the series itself.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_03: Does anyone try to destroy it?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: So they're there no.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: What the what the So the closest we have, the closest um statistical data that we can pull was from the Haunted House series, you know, featuring the Wayans.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um and in that we saw that when he fucked that doll, he tried to destroy it many times to s preserve his marriage, and she kept coming back.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um So here's the thing I think.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_03: So, but does the doll actually is it destroyed in that instance?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for a moment, yeah, which and yeah, Bond only has to pull it off once.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_03: Bond only has to incapacitate it so that it can no longer fight once.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: Can the demon is the demon able to keep uh the James Bond away from the doll?
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: Is the question.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_03: Is the demon able to exert itself?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the that's the thing.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: If you go back to the to the the Annabelle films, which there's three of them, um the the doll actually the the demon that's tethered to the doll actually uses other people uh uh to at its disposal, it influences other people to do its dirty work without actually physically doing it itself, and at the end of the third film, they finally lock it away in this old wooden box and everything stops.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: So so it seems like because no one else is available in the ring, essentially this basement is an empty s empty space where only the two combatants exist.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_03: And uh so what I what I think the conclusion that we've come to is that the demon can't has no one to exert its power over.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_03: And therefore, it is impotent in this round, essentially.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so you would just see Again, much like Timothy Dolls.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that that one scene where they showed his flaccid penis.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was uh wait that was intense as a child.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um well what I see happening here, um, and and this is my opinion, I think that the demon of Annabelle is going to possess Tyler Durden.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um he's gonna rush up.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: Cher is then going to say that that is illegal and she's gonna kill us all.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_03: We don't have to make a decision.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: And Sean Connery will just be standing there going, What?
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I'm gonna give it to James Bond.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um so then final uh vote.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh what happens?
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: Final vote.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're all I think we're all in agreement that Bond's gonna take it.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um are we good with that?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm totally so round one is gone to James Bond, which moves us into uh round two, these characters Pony Express delivers a letter to the house that Annabelle lives in.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: So um they've all received a uh well, so me as the fictional Lucifer comes, I'm like, yo, bro, I see you control Annabelle, you gotta fight tonight with um James Bond.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's for my podcast.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, I'm on it.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: Networking.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm networking.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm networking.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so the two characters now know that they have 24 hours to slay each other.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh um for James Bond, Q comes on and he's yeah.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't even get Q.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_03: So he's just he's yeah.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: So anyway.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_03: He gets a coded message and he's like, well, I guess I have to do that.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: So here we are.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: The characters have 24 hours, guests first, Garrett, what goes down?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: What happens?
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's see.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um 24 hours, so Bond would have to be flying to the United States from the UK.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_03: He's already here for whatever reason.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, he's already here.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_03: Uh they're nearby each other.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_00: Which means he's got to be a few.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: James Bond was fucking someone in the same city.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: Shounder bond.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um so yeah, more than likely he's he's being uh he's being uh observed by the CIA and NSA simultaneously.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: They don't even know it.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um more than likely he would probably be using whatever whatever tactical advantage he has to figure out what's what he's going to be needing to do to kill this thing.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: It is a demon, so um I mean sure enough, if he if he does his research well enough, or at least you know his buddies back at MI6 do their research and relay the information to him, all he has to do is find that box, put Annabelle into said box, and everything is done sometimes.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: That is true.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was a middle-aged married couple that managed to do it the first time.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, James, what are your thoughts?
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so here's the problem.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_03: James Bond's body count is like way higher than Annabelle's body count.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_03: Easily.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like, like the body count is like a thousand times higher for James Bond.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think Annabelle's killed anybody.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_03: Has any has not directly has how many people has she inspired to murder another person?
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_03: How many people?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's can you count it on one hand?
• 41:45
  unknown: Yeah.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: Probably.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well change.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because the original Because the original the original film from 2014 had a a uh couple, and it was the name of uh like Annable was actually the name of one of these two murderers that killed uh a family, and then they went to the next door neighbors who are the main characters.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it's her it's part of her spirit that is uh affected by the dog.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: So so it's kind of like it's not not exactly Chucky, but not exactly not.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_03: So the demons getting in on that action.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_03: So so what I'm hearing is that dozens possibly of people, this this spirit, possibly dozens.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_03: Whereas James Bond has blown up like industrial factories full of people and like moon bases full of people and shit.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like he underwater places, he's killed hundreds of people at a time in more glaciers and I and in places that I can't even remember.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_03: He's killed hundreds of people and skied down a mountain and is like, I'm so fucking cool.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_03: He surfed the title.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_03: And so I don't know if Annabelle's actually cut out for this fight at all.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: The demon's going, what the What the shit is going on?
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the question for this round, does he get any equipment?
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, yeah.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, all he has to do is call in an airstrike, lays the target, he wouldn't do that though.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: He'd do it himself.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: He could, he could, but James Bond would not do it.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_03: Which might be his weakness.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: But but my thought is I just don't think Annabelle like has the the uh the insurmountable nature of the theme that James Bond.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: James Bond brings to the table.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_03: Annabelle is often surmounted.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: She's placed in a box by a sweet Christian couple who who are just who are like, oh my god, what's going on?
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_03: Figuring it out as they go along.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_03: And James Bond is like, I have a gun.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: I know how to shoot things.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, all right.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well I have a wristwatch that shoots a laser.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um then I I would definitely for my side of it, I I Yeah, I'm I'm going Bond.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going Bond here.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um I don't
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_03: Know why people are so scared of this doll.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I I never got into the movies, I don't know, I don't get it.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's um I I can speak from experience, James, when I say that I know exactly what it's like to be terrified of a doll.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: My mom has this like two and a half foot tall Santa Claus doll from the 1950s.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_00: Plast it plastic hands, plastic face and beard, and the the the blue paint that was used for the eyes has faded over time.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just milky water.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: It has these like there's a little blue left is the like these really sinister blue dots just staring at you, piercing, like crystalline cracked eyes.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it's it's absolutely the thing is absolutely terrifying because she sets it out at Christmas time every year, like clockwork.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_00: She's I mean she's had this thing since she was a little kid.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_03: And because the eyes, because the eyes were fading away, it kind of looked like its eyes were following you, right?
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because it always looked like light was the damn thing looks like a possessed gnome.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I mean Bond is a sociopath, so he doesn't give a fuck.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't give a shit.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, but I can understand why people are afraid of a creepy little thing.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: I guess that's true.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if I'm hearing correctly, I think we've all voted Bond.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_03: I think that that was pretty simple.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, when we went into this, I was like, Bond is going up against like a demon, but I forgot how what kind of demon this demon is.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's not, it's not like a if if anyone played like the uh Dragon Age series, they had like different types of demons that I really enjoyed, like representative of different of the cardinal sins.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_03: And and this demon's kind of like a pride or or something that's more emotional kind of demon.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_03: Not like one that physically exerts itself upon the world.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_03: It it it it emotionally and psychologically inserts itself in other people.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's not directly effective of the world, and therefore it is weak against the master of the physical realm, James Bond.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I uh yeah.
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_01: No, so we're good.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_01: So round two goes to Bond, and so this is a high and dry first where two times in a row we haven't had to do go around to a vote.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's just been unanimous.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: So for that, if you if you guys want to join me, I'm gonna have one more shot.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: James, you want to have one more dab?
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_01: I will do it.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to put marijuana in my face.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: Garrett, you down?
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, I'm down.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: Let's do it.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: So here is to James Bond and Annabelle giving us a high and dry first.
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_03: So I'd be afraid in some kind of different theme, in just the theme of our world versus Annabelle's world, Annabelle's Annabelle's world seems worse.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, just like because there's a demon, and and so it could happen that you run into this demon and inspire someone to murder you out of the blue, which would suck.
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_03: But it would suck more to be like a blue-collar worker in a non-United States country in James Bond's world.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're just gonna get shot by the fucking imperialist Englishman running through.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_03: No matter where you go, you're not safe.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_03: Eastern Europe, fucking Latin America.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I recognize that sense of style.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: I should probably run.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: No, for sure.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_00: It it would also it would also suck to be a a beautiful woman in James Bond's.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh god, yeah, you're a victim.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: Then at that point, either you are uh being somehow caught up in the adventure either as the girlfriend of the villain, as was the case of um the blonde, the random blonde chick that Lachif was dating in Casino Royale, or you know, you're Rosamond Pike and you decide to do a sword fight against Halle Berry.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_03: Mistake.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: So well, you're right, not a good place for women.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: Well, would I I will give it to the Daniel Craig Bond, and I know he got a lot of shit.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I mean, just like I like Skyfall a lot.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think Skyfall was amazing.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_01: I but I uh the thing Oh yeah, it was the thing that I I mean the so you had Casino Royale, which was like fucking amazing.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, all right, we're undoing all the bullshit that had come through the 90s.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you had the second one after that, um, the Quantum of Solace, which was mmm, but then it came back with Skyfall, and I'm like, oh, thank God.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that what they did there was just they brought Bond into that, it was the first time I ever saw someone successfully bring an old character into the modern zeitgeist and make it work.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_03: And and it's a shame.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_03: I think Quantum of Solace was just a little early because they talked about like something really serious, which is like water rights in third world and in the developing world.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, uh that's like a really serious issue.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_03: I wish they would have paid more, I wish more people would have accepted that.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_03: I hated, I didn't like the movie, I don't remember the movie.
• 49:20
  SPEAKER_03: But I was but like that thing about water rights, I was like, uh, I gotta go look that up.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_03: Are you is that real?
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it was.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was deaf.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the the the interesting thing is a lot of people gave Quantum Asolves crap.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_00: I actually I I liked it, and the reason for it is because considering the fact that it was a very short, like, not not even a full novella that Ian Fleming wrote as just kind of a a catch-up for everything that happened at the end of Casino Royale, because like Quantum actually serves as the ep the true epilogue for Quantum of Solid or for uh Casino Royale.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, and and and so what they did with such a short story and turning it into the length of film that they did was pretty good.
• 50:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I what I th what I really appreciated about it is uh you have with um Olga Kurlenko's character, I can't remember her name off the top of my head, um, but she uh has this really impressive arc um as as a tech quote unquote Bond girl that um she's not necessarily just you know wooed by Bond.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_00: She's not victimized by anything that Bond uh specifically does, uh, and nor is she just some you know one-off character who really has no purpose being there.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_00: She's she's actually there because one of the secondary antagonists, you know, did something horrible to her as a child, traumatized her, going back to the idea of childhood trauma, and she's able to get to the channel.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_03: She tackled a lot of big topics.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_03: And and people didn't like that.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and which was which is weird.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like making I don't like when you make me think.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's such an unpopular opinion still amongst the well, I guess the boomer brown crowd.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um Craig is my favorite Bond, and it breaks my heart that he hates the role.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_01: He's had such a terrible time with it.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I and because you you try and watch a Connery Bond, and he'll do some shit, and you'll be like, Oh my gosh.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh no, my my wife's mother, uh, she travels a lot, but she stays with us frequently as her like home base.
• 51:35
  SPEAKER_03: Uh she's retired and she like got a huge pension, so she travels all the time.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, but when she's here, like she watches old movies and shit.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_03: She was watching an old James Bond, and I was like, What the fuck?
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, he was sent to protect this woman, and he was like, I'm going to have sex with you now.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: And and she's just eventually subdued by the ultimate manliness of what he brings this together.
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like tried to slap him and then he grabs her hand and then they kiss.
• 52:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_03: Like, uh, what the fuck are you watching?
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the that's the interesting thing.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's what our fathers were taught.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then they tried to pull that shit on us and like, yo, this is not how people appropriate.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what the fuck is going on?
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I and that's why I've been so happy about Daniel Craig.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thrilled that we have one more from Daniel Craig coming.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I would love I would love Idriselda also.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I would have to do that.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a shame that.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: And he said he's not doing it.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: He's just, he's done.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's fucking lame because he would have been a great James.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_03: He could have brought it.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: The only problem, the only problem is soon as he stepped into Russia, you'd know that he was the American spy or the English spy.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: That is true.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_01: You can't blend into any of those evil areas.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: Not saying that Russia's evil, but you know what I'm talking about.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: Within the within the Bond canon.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Soviets are bad.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, well, so I'm the other thing to think about, though, is if you go back to the original books, a lot of the things that you see in the films are actually taken as creative license.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_00: That while Ian Fleming may have been like, okay, whatever, uh, about they weren't actually in the films.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like the I the thing about him, you know, slapping that one character, or however many characters, um you know, in the old Bond films, that wasn't actually part of what happened in the storytelling in the in the actual books.
• 53:28
  SPEAKER_00: The books were a little bit more um, they weren't as as cut and dry as like the as the uh oh the writing the John Long the writing has more depth than the movie.
• 53:39
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_03: And that's always the case.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_03: That is always the case.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and I mean you have to understand, like, especially when it comes to to filmmaking, filmmaking is a product of its time.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so, you know, whoever the the and the filmmakers, a lot of the filmmakers behind the Bond films weren't even American.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: They were they were from Europe from whatever country James Bond was fighting, is where they were from.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, well, here's what we're gonna do.
• 54:10
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes here's what we're gonna do.
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_01: So I would like to do one more for Daniel Craig and finally bringing Bond to the 20th century.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then we're gonna, because we are running out of time, we're gonna do this fast and hard.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: We got a third round to do, but here, real quick, is to Daniel Craig and the new version of James Bond.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, we already did an extra shot.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, I know.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, we gotta wrap this up.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:34
  SPEAKER_03: So round three, real quick, just for the books, if we if it was to happen, it doesn't have to happen.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_03: James Bond won.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_03: Who gives a shit?
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_03: But we're gonna do it anyway.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think happened?
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so in round three, they get to bring a friend.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so guests first, Garrett, who do they bring?
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: What happens?
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_01: What's your vote?
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_01: Wrap it up fast.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um let's see.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_00: Annabelle being a being tethered to a demon would probably bring um a stronger demon that can take corporeal form on the earthly plane.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that having been said, being British, James Bond would contact another fellow Brit, this one being one John Constantine, who was notorious for banishing.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a strong pull.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_00: Strong pull.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, wow.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_01: And your vote going towards who would win that one?
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Bond and John Constantine.
• 55:28
  SPEAKER_00: My my my other idea instead of John Constantine would have been Raymond Stans from the both of those are solid.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't know if he can reach them though.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_03: If we had to pick within the James Bond universe, I would say that's how we usually try to restrict it is to the same universe unless they unless one of their powers is interdimensional travel.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, well also James, what are your thoughts?
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um So my thoughts are he would bring he would bring Q for F because Q always has a thing that solves the thing, right?
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_03: He always has the solution.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then he gives James Bond the solution, and James Bond uses the solution.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um I would say he'd probably bring Q, and then Annabelle would bring Ryan's Lucifer.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_03: Damn, bringing a random boss.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_03: And then and then y'all can duke it out.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: At that point, it would just be turning into uh who can drink the best.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Shit.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh man, going punch for punch with Bond in a drinking contest.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he doesn't even have a link.
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta do the scorpion thing.
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta do the scorpion thing.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'd do it though.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_01: I would try.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'd keep your face all stung up.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh shit, fuck.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm Lucifer.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_01: You're going to hell.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, I would say uh so for my side of it, I think that Annabelle, directed by James One, is going to bring the demon of Insidious directing by James One.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and you know, starring Patrick.
• 57:10
  SPEAKER_03: I bet you there are some Easter eggs in those movies with crossover props and shit.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_03: Without a doubt.
• 57:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they're both starring Patrick Wilson.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, Patrick Wilson plays Ed Lorraine.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's all part of the same uh universe.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly, exactly.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I think those two demons are gonna team up, and then the the demon in Insidious brings the physical version of himself where he's like actually fucking showing up.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, oh yeah, and he's playing Tiny Tim and he's getting all into it and shit.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that the Insidious Demon is gonna go up in there and he's going to verse Daniel Craig and Michael Myers as Austin Powers.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_03: They that would be so the problem is Austin Powers already a lover.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_03: He's gonna win.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_03: I know they're both British spies and they both work for my six.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_03: They have each other's number.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in this case, uh Austin Powers does have access to time travel tech technology.
• 58:13
  SPEAKER_03: He does have access to time travel.
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: He would theoret, he would theoretically be able to go back in time.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_03: Because when you yeah, when you time travel, you also space travel.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_03: You also travel.
• 58:24
  SPEAKER_01: He's gonna bring the swinging 60s back to Annabelle.
• 58:28
  SPEAKER_03: The Austin Powers could come into any story then.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: But and at that point, he'd be able to literally uh traverse back in time and prevent the doll from being possessed or tethered in the world.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so because we have a very godlike movement here, I would like to just present one argument to allow Austin Powers to do this.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_01: Just one argument, give me this, and if you guys, if you guys agree, okay, so we have so when Daniel Craig was talking on how um Casino Real was going to be, uh he credited almost the entire movie, and this is in interview to Austin Powers, saying that because of Austin Powers, we couldn't have fun like Pierce Brosnan got to.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_01: And from just that transitive sort of you know association between those two characters, Austin Powers literally birth Daniel Craig Daniel Craig's James Bond.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_01: And that is why I would like to argue to you two gentlemen that Daniel Craig gets to bring Austin Powers.
• 59:35
  SPEAKER_03: I disagree.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, it I'm good with that.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_03: If I mean James Bond takes it again.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_00: Temporarily allowed me uh John Constantine, so I'll allow it.
• 59:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, okay.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it doesn't matter.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_01: He wins.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_01: If he brings John Constantine, if he brings fucking Austin Powers, James Bond is gonna take it.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_01: So there we have it.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_01: If he brings Q, he takes it.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if he brings Q, he takes it.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_03: Annabelle just doesn't just can't catch a break.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, James Won and and Annabelle just can't seem to overcome the ability for James Bond to bring the the heat.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: Victory.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: So victory is going to James Bond here.
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations, Daniel Craig.
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_01: This was more your win than anyone else's.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so uh Garrett, thank you so much for joining us.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, where can we find you?
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um, there's a couple different ways.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, my website is archives of the five kingdoms.com.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's a complete companion site.
• 1:00:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can purchase my books there.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, you can find them on Amazon as well.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, links to my podcast and my YouTube channel are there.
• 1:00:42
  SPEAKER_00: But if you are using separate platforms, uh my podcast, which is called Storytellers, just wrapped up its uh fourth season a couple weeks ago.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and it can be found on anchor.fm uh slash gkj publishing, or you just search storytellers or uh Garrett K.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: Jones through your major uh podcasting platforms, uh Apple uh podcasts, Google Podcasts, uh Spotify, uh, and then my YouTube channel.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you just do a search for GKJ publishing.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I'm in the midst of season three now.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually coming up uh in, let's see, uh I just had a new episode launch.
• 1:01:26
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this is uh as of yesterday, um, because I think new episodes come out every Saturday.
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um and so I'll be wrapping up season three at the end of August with a marathon of author interviews called Author Awareness August.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I take about a month off, and then October I pick up with season four.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sounds awesome.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that sounds great.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_01: And um High and Dry Podcast is definitely going to be up in your podcast.
• 1:01:50
  SPEAKER_01: So again, thank you so much.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_01: And James, where can you find us?
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_03: You can find us on Instagram at high and dry podcast.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_03: You can find us on Twitter at high and dry pod.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_03: You can find Ryan at Ryan Barron North.com.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_03: You can find him on Twitter at Barron underscore north.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um where can you find me?
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_03: You can find me on Twitter at the and Twitch as DDabolical.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_01: You work like every fucking day for your platform.
• 1:02:20
  SPEAKER_03: Damn it.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so bad at this.
• 1:02:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, so you can find us everywhere, and again, we are in round two of the current high and dry podcast tournament.
• 1:02:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, go to the link in our Instagram bio.
• 1:02:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you click on that, you can vote in what characters from the first season of High and Dry are moving on to the finals.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll do a live stream for that, and it's gonna be a great um so please vote, and there's a chance for you to win the coveted high and dry shot glass, which you could also get at Patreon.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so again, Garrett, thank you so much.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_01: This has been High and Dry Podcast.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_01: You guys take it easy.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 1:02:59
  SPEAKER_01: Bye bye.