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Bonus IMPROV - I'd Recognize Those Fingernails Anywhere · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to Very Fine Friends.
• 0:20
  Bonus Improv.
• 0:23
  If you're listening to this, settle into a warm bath.
• 0:30
  And be prepared to laugh the bubbles away.
• 0:35
  Joe, can we please get a suggestion?
• 0:39
  You sure can.
• 0:42
  Suggestion, I hope you sexy sizzlers are listening out there.
• 0:46
  Your suggestion is grunge.
• 0:50
  Grunge.
• 0:52
  What do you think of the grunge look?
• 0:55
  It's great for them, not for me.
• 0:57
  Yeah. I mean...
• 0:59
  I can never pull it off.
• 1:02
  Yeah. That's true.
• 1:04
  I actually don't mind the clothing so much.
• 1:09
  The really long hair on men, I'm not a big fan of.
• 1:14
  I think shoulder length on men is fine.
• 1:17
  But the long...
• 1:20
  Also, how did that become a thing?
• 1:23
  It takes a long time to grow your hair that long.
• 1:26
  So that means these people had to have been prepared for grunge.
• 1:30
  It must have been like, you know what?
• 1:31
  In five years, there will be a style that will fit this.
• 1:35
  Maybe they just forgot to cut their hair out for a long time.
• 1:37
  And then when it got that far, they were like, hey, wait.
• 1:40
  Hey, wait a second.
• 1:41
  That could be grunge.
• 1:42
  Yeah.
• 1:44
  Maybe they were grunge without the hair.
• 1:48
  That's not my understanding.
• 1:49
  Oh.
• 1:50
  Pretty sure all men had long hair.
• 1:53
  Obviously not, but.
• 1:54
  no no you're right okay good thank you if you had to pick one style from the past
• 2:04
  hairstyle no just general like overall style from the past to be your style forever what would it be and you can say your current look it got to be something like Don leave me I not attached to my current look
• 2:23
  James Bond.
• 2:27
  Okay.
• 2:29
  Okay.
• 2:29
  So just like tuxedos and suits and stuff?
• 2:34
  Yeah.
• 2:34
  And just like super classy.
• 2:36
  Yeah.
• 2:37
  You know, looks.
• 2:38
  I like that.
• 2:39
  That includes the cars.
• 2:41
  Oh, I love that.
• 2:42
  The babes.
• 2:42
  Oh, yeah.
• 2:43
  Gotta have the babes.
• 2:44
  Yeah.
• 2:45
  The dirty martinis and...
• 2:47
  And the babes again.
• 2:48
  And the baccarat.
• 2:50
  Don't forget the babes.
• 2:52
  And the babes.
• 2:53
  Oh, yeah.
• 2:54
  Yeah.
• 2:55
  And you?
• 2:56
  I don't know.
• 2:56
  I always really liked 50s housewife look.
• 3:01
  Yeah.
• 3:02
  I like it.
• 3:03
  I like it, too.
• 3:04
  50s, 60s.
• 3:05
  50s, 60s, yeah.
• 3:07
  But I have a feeling that...
• 3:09
  And this is based on nothing.
• 3:10
  but like a lot of what we see that's like super stylish it's like was everyone really dressing
• 3:15
  that way or was that just like what was presented on tv and ads and stuff and all the other was like
• 3:20
  slobs at home yeah they probably still were a fair amount of slobs yeah slobs are ubiquitous
• 3:26
  ubiquitous slob great name for something ubiquitous ubiquitous labs
• 3:32
  Us.
• 3:34
  Us.
• 3:35
  Oh, us.
• 3:37
  Nope.
• 3:38
  Us.
• 3:39
  Thank you for coming with me on that journey.
• 3:43
  It was quite a ride.
• 3:44
  Yeah.
• 3:45
  And now, improv.
• 3:53
  Tina.
• 3:54
  Tina, you gotta help me out.
• 3:56
  Grace, what's up?
• 3:57
  Tina.
• 3:57
  What?
• 3:58
  What?
• 3:58
  Anything.
• 3:59
  I can't believe I did this.
• 4:01
  just tell me you know you can trust me i'm such an idiot i completely forgot to cut my fingernails
• 4:10
  for like four and a half years and now look they're super long they're like curling i can't
• 4:17
  believe i forgot oh my god i thought that was confetti you were bringing around everywhere
• 4:22
  no it was just an accident i forgot to cut my but is there some way we can like mask this mistake as something deliberate Yeah don worry don worry Tina here Thanks That why I came to you Yeah I can help I can help with this
• 4:39
  Let's see. Hold them up for me.
• 4:41
  Mm?
• 4:41
  Mm.
• 4:43
  Wow. I'm masking them.
• 4:46
  I've got it.
• 4:47
  Yeah?
• 4:49
  As you know, some babies are born without fingernails.
• 4:53
  Yeah?
• 4:54
  You haven't forgotten to cut them.
• 4:56
  you've been growing them for the babies for fingernails of love yes now you've got over
• 5:05
  24 inches of nails oh i you're it's you're a hero grace oh my god okay thank you so much
• 5:14
  because this was like such an embarrassing mistake no thank you for covering it not a mistake
• 5:18
  let's go to the let's go to the babies right the nail-less babies thank god they keep them all in
• 5:24
  the same ward. They have to.
• 5:26
  Yeah, people don't take kindly to
• 5:28
  fingernailless babies.
• 5:30
  Cut to the fingernailless baby
• 5:32
  ward. And one for
• 5:34
  you. And one for
• 5:36
  you. Can I just say,
• 5:38
  as a proprietor of this establishment,
• 5:41
  your generosity has
• 5:42
  meant the world to these tiny
• 5:44
  nailless freaks.
• 5:47
  Oh, well, you know,
• 5:48
  four and a half years ago
• 5:50
  I had this idea that
• 5:52
  I could really help out
• 5:54
  a lot of kids if I just didn't cut my nails.
• 5:58
  So I very deliberately did not cut them, and it wasn't a mistake, and I forgot.
• 6:04
  It was on purpose, because I just love helping so much.
• 6:09
  God bless you.
• 6:09
  Can I tell you a secret?
• 6:11
  Please.
• 6:11
  If you hadn't come, each and every one of these babies would have gone into a catapult.
• 6:15
  God bless you.
• 6:16
  Oh, anything to prevent babies flying through the air.
• 6:20
  Cut to 15 years later
• 6:24
  Uh, excuse me, miss
• 6:26
  You don't know me, but
• 6:27
  I was born fingernaill-less
• 6:30
  I recognize those fingernails anywhere
• 6:32
  Oh, I know
• 6:33
  They came from you, miss
• 6:35
  And I just want you to know that
• 6:37
  Because of you, I didn't get catapulted
• 6:39
  I got a full ride to Harvard
• 6:41
  And all because of your fingernails
• 6:43
  I just want you to know
• 6:46
  That You welcome and it was totally on purpose Oh God I know how on purpose it was That why I decided I going to name every child that I have after you
• 7:00
  We're just going to start numbering them after the first one.
• 7:03
  Like George Foreman and his kids?
• 7:05
  Exactly like that.
• 7:07
  There's going to be a bunch of graces running around.
• 7:11
  God, I'm such a good person.
• 7:13
  Now, you wouldn't happen to know anybody that needs a lot of nose hair, would you?
• 7:20
  I've kind of very deliberately grown out some nose hair for the last seven and a half years.
• 7:28
  Well, as a matter of fact, I do some volunteer work with the shut-ins in downtown.
• 7:36
  and they've, due to the conditions of their being shut in,
• 7:43
  they haven't been able to grow any nose hair.
• 7:45
  It's true. Nose hair only grows in the light.
• 7:48
  Yes, and as you know, nose hair helps prevent a lot of bacteria
• 7:53
  from getting into the nose, so they're sick all the time.
• 7:57
  Well, I'm so happy to help,
• 8:00
  and thank God I made this very deliberate decision
• 8:02
  seven and a half years ago.
• 8:04
  Cut to the shut-ins
• 8:07
  Hi
• 8:09
  Oh, you poor, poor thing
• 8:14
  You're here to help?
• 8:15
  Yes, yes
• 8:16
  No, no, no, not here
• 8:19
  The air's going to my brain
• 8:21
  Fernando, I know you're scared, but please
• 8:24
  This woman will help you
• 8:26
  Snip, oh, snip
• 8:30
  Thank you, Mama
• 8:31
  Snip
• 8:31
  Here you go
• 8:34
  thanks doll
• 8:36
  oh wow
• 8:38
  what a little nose hair can do
• 8:41
  you wouldn't happen to know anybody that
• 8:45
  needs a grip of chest hair would you
• 8:49
  all right scene
• 9:04
  quarζed