Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do narcissists hold onto things from the past?

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Why do narcissists hold onto things from the past? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about why some narcissists hold
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  on to things that they should get rid of, like things they
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  could prove that they cheated on you, trophies, so to speak,
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  trinkets and relics of things that they should just get rid of
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  and whatnot. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  What's up folks? Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back. So yes, yeah, y'all, as I said
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  there, there are a lot of narcissistic people out there,
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  right? A lot that will hold on to old
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  trinkets and trophies and things from a fair partners that they
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  shouldn't get rid of like hair ties, panties, boxers, shirts,
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  you know what I mean? Hotel receipts, hotel key cards,
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  screenshots, videos, things of that nature.
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  They love it, y'all? It's literally they look like
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  one of the main reasons why they do this is so they can look back
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  on it. They can look back and go back
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  into that moment when they feel like they got away with
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  something, when they matter, when they when they were totally
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  in control. This is like proof to them, like
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  they have gotten away with and they can do it again.
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  Like look how powerful I am. Look what I've gotten away with.
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  Look what you don't know, you know, Look what you, you don't
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  know what I've done, but I know what I've done.
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  Look, I have proof of it. I have these screenshots.
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  I have these old videos in the folder on my computer or file on
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  my computer that's deeply hidden and buried.
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  I have so much going on here that you don't know about.
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  They love the feeling of getting away with something and they
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  love being able to look back on. It really is like, you know, why
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  do arsonists go back to the scene of a fire that they
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  started? Because they like to watch it
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  burn. They feel, they feel powerful.
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  They feel in charge that they did that.
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  Look what I did. Look how many people are looking
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  and nobody knows that I did it. It's the feeling of getting away
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  with it. And like, it's like it's your,
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  it's your prize. They'll burn something down and
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  come back and look at it, watch it burn.
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  They might be the firefighter. The firefighter might be the one
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  that's burning it down. You know, just like putting out
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  the fire you hit, you get it. You get this hero complex.
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  There's a complex within you that makes you feel good about
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  getting away with it. The person who kidnapped the
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  little the, the, the little child is out there leading the
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  search party. I found her.
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  You know what you mean. It's that evil ass person is a
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  evil, evil mindset that a lot of narcissists and toxic people
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  have that they just would love that feeling of getting away
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  with something. Like when they start to feel
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  like they don't matter, when they start to feel like they're
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  out of control. They can look through their
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  their phone, go back to their old screenshot that they should
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  get rid of if they want to get away with something.
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  They don't ever think they're going to get caught.
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  So they go back to it, look at it, go back into their memories
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  of what happened, what they got away with, and they feel good,
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  they feel in control. They feel like this is the time
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  when I got away with it. You know, if you ever seen a
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  good, a great example of this, right, is the TV show Dexter.
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  You ever seen Dexter? Dexter is a serial unaliver, but
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  he's like the blood spatter expert.
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  You know, he's a serial, but he's a blood spatter expert for
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  the Miami-Dade Police Department or whatever.
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  So he's out there unaliving people, unaliving bad people,
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  but he keeps like a little slide a little, he takes it like a
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  little blood. He takes a, he cuts their face,
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  takes it like, takes a drop of blood, puts it on like a little
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  slide and keeps it in a case that he hides within his air
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  conditioner. And every so often he'll go in
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  there and open up the air condition and just play with the
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  slot, the blood slides of all his victims.
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  He loves it. He loves playing with the blood
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  slides. It makes him feel like he got
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  away when he mattered in that moment.
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  You go back to that moment where you matter.
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  And it's not, it's not always signs of affair.
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  You know what I mean? It can be signs of affair
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  partners or whatever they've gotten away with that.
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  They can remember. It's also exes.
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  They like to keep stuff from their exes.
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  You know, one reason narcissists like to keep stuff from the exes
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  is because it always gives them a reason to reach out to the ex
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  or the ex keeps reaching out to them for that stuff.
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  But sometimes it's been years and that doesn't even matter
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  anymore. But it's still a connected, you
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  know, a connecting thing to that person.
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  And sometimes they love. Yeah.
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  Yeah, they love having that stuff in plain sight where you
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  don't know what it is like, you don't know what it actually
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  represents. Like to you, this is just a
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  normal Apple Watch. But to me, my ex gave this to
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  me. You know what I'm saying?
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  This is just a normal V-neck red shirt.
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  But to me, I, I this is the the shirt I wore when I cheated on
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  you with. Well, my affair partner gave
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  this to me, bought it for my birthday.
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  You see what I'm saying? It's sinister.
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  They love to have these trophies.
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  They love this. It's like literally like winning
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  the medal. It's literally like winning the
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  damn medal that you get to go back and relinquish like watch
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  all the time. It's just like a trophy case.
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  Then they have a trophy case. Sometimes the trophy case could
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  be something as simple as a file on their computer, a hidden a
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  hidden app on their phone that they use to store things that
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  they've gotten away with it or bad things that they've done.
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  There's a lot of different things that they can use and a
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  lot of different things that they can do in these situations.
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  They love it though, y'all, realistically, they love it.
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  They they, it makes them feel empowered.
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  It makes them feel just they feel in charge.
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  I promise you they do. It just makes them feel a
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  certain type of way and they love this feeling.
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  They love to be able to look back on things and they and they
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  again, they also love it reminds them of a time in the past, but
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  it also inspires them to go out here and do some other stuff to
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  add to their trophy case. Dexter could have stopped
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  unlaving people, but he was addicted to it and he he liked
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  adding things to his trophy case.
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  So his narcissistic people like to add things to their trophy
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  case. So they cheated on you before,
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  they'll probably do it again and keep something from that affair.
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  Keep the the restaurant receipt, keep the, the the Carowinds
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  receipt. Keep the receipt from the hotel
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  or the, the, the pack of condoms, the the receipt when
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  they bought a pack of condoms or whatever.
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  And they love getting y'all. I'm telling y'all they love
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  getting away with it. It is.
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  It empowers them to just not. It empowers them to just have
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  it. I know y'all like Lee, you doing
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  all these weird movements and feelings and stuff like that.
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  I'm just getting the character for y'all to show you how
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  narcissists feel when they have this type of stuff.
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  I'm feeling down on myself. I'm feeling down and out.
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  What can make me feel better? I need to pick me up.
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  What's better than I don't have any.
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  I don't have a cup of coffee around me.
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  So what? What?
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  What's better than a cup of coffee right now?
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  A cup of affair. Let me go drink.
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  Let me go drink some water out of this mug that my affair
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  partner bought for me for Christmas, you mean?
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  Let's go do that right there. That happens so much to
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  narcissistic people. So this is what I'm telling
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  y'all. The more you deal with a
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  narcissist, the more you deal with a toxic person that holds
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  on to this type of stuff, the more sinister that person is.
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  I'm not saying they're going to hurt you y'all, you know, you
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  might have some serious you might, you might.
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  I'm not laughing, Albert, because you might be dealing
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  with a damn Dexter. You know what I mean?
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  You might be dealing with a Dexter or someone, someone of
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  that ilk. But they don't collect body
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  stuff, the stuff from people that they unalive.
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  They they collect things from people that they've hurt, you
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  know, people they've stolen from.
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  They like, they like somebody that steals debit cards.
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  They like to, you know, when they should get rid of the debit
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  card and cut it up or just destroy it from my damn identity
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  theft. They keep it.
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  They keep it in like a little folder.
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  They keep it in like a little notebook.
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  They get pulled over by police. They go in the trunk.
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  What? What's all these debit cards
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  with somebody else's name on them?
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  What jail? Babe, I found those text
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  messages from your ex that you text message from your affair
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  partner. Why?
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  I can't believe you kept all that stuff.
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  The pictures, the news that they, the, the, the naked
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  pictures they sent you, the salacious text messages and the
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  emails and stuff. I can't believe you would do
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  that. They don't like that.
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  They don't ever expect to get caught.
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  I'm not I'm not saying that they think you're dumb, but a lot of
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  narcissists do. Thank you.
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  A lot of narcissists thank you too oblivious.
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  Some of them think you're dumb, but a lot of them think you're
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  just too oblivious to know. And most of them think that
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  you're they they're they, that they narcissistic robot talking
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  too fast. Need to slow down they just
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  think that they're smarter than you and they think that they
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  will always get away with it They don't think that they'll
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  ever get caught because what you know even if you catch me you
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  won't leave me because this happened in the past right I
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  should have deleted it I don't know why I had that I should
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  have got rid of it They love these damn trophies y'all it's
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  just memories they can attach to it and like I said well Lee how
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  do we get them to get rid of that type of stuff like if you
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  find their their trophy case they're so they're yeah they're
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  be sorely attached to that case because they they have to
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  rebuild it it's like a damn near yeah, I'm be real with you it
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  could be like an addiction to some narcissistic people to hold
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  and hold on to that type of stuff it becomes an addiction it
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  becomes an obsession to add to it as well like IE Dexter.
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  Dexter. I think that's probably more of
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  a sociopath, psychopath or whatever, but IE that same type
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  of mentality, you know what I mean?
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  That same type of driving force that would make him want to do
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  that type of stuff. He go out there and he's
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  obsessed over unaliving, but he wants to remember it, so he
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  keeps that slide. They're obsessed with cheating,
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  but they want to remember it, so they keep, you know, a pair of
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  that person's panties or underwear or socks or something
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  like that. A shirt, necklace, a
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  handkerchief. You know, I had a girl tell me
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  what time did her, her boyfriend or whatever had a necklace
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  around his neck with the letter C on it.
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  He kept telling her that that C was for his mom, his mom and
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  wish you know, his mom, his mom name dissed over to CI think it
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  was like Caroline or something, but it actually ended up being
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  something that his ex that his that he had his ex had gave him
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  or something like that. He added to C himself for her
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  when they were still together and he just refused to get rid
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  of it. You know what I'm saying?
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  He just held onto it. He wore wore around his neck
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  every single day in plain sight. They do the type of stuff right
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  there. I had a old friend, I had a old
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  narcissistic friend, right, and he was super narcissistic y'all.
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  And he was a horrible person in relationships, right?
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  He was a good dude here and there, but like he was a
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  horrible person in relationship. He treated women horribly.
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  So one girl he had right, he met this one girl, they made a
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  promise to each other. Like instead of doing promise
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  rings, they like found some type of yarn and they made like they
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  made like yarn bracelets to have around each other's wrists,
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  right? And he did her wrong.
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  Like she broke up with him, of course.
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  And a couple months later, a couple weeks later, whatever,
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  they, they kept trying to go back and forth.
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  Of course, he kept trying to Hoover her back.
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  In the last strike, she ripped off their yarn braces.
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  She was done. Months later, six, 7-8 months
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  later, he still had the yarn bracelet on.
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  And he would put it in front of videos.
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  You know, he had a new girlfriend at the time.
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  She was like, what's that your own bracelet represents?
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  Like, represents my, my, my, my faith to myself, my belief in
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  myself, whatever it is to me. Yeah, I would just refuse to
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  give up on certain things. I'm going to keep fighting.
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  And it was just, it showed my tenacity whole time.
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  It represents his connection to that girl.
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  And he kept trying to get her back.
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  And when she finally decided to be dealt with, it was like, hey,
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  leave me the hell alone. Stop stalking me.
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  Stop harassing me. He got angry and ripped it off
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  with his damn teeth. He's like this is this is a fake
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  relationship anyway. I don't want this trophy
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  anymore. Literally ripped it off like a
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  rabbit dog. Ripped it off, spit it in the
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  trash can and sent her a video of him doing it.
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  There was a trophy he had on his wrist.
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  Something that bound them together.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's the mindset.
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  He always thought that that would connect them together and
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  if she would were to happen to who to check his videos out, if
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  she would still see that bracelet on, she would come
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  back. Sometimes that's where they hold
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  on the trophies for right there too.
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  That's a real life example as well.
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  Y'all. Thank you so much for tuning in.
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  If you've made it this far, drop a trophy that your partner or ex
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  kept kept it around that you might have discovered.
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  Just curious. Text screen messages, text
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  shots, text shots, text messages, screenshots, bank
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  statements, whatever they say they kept.
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  Hotel key room cards, receipts, flight receipts, you know,
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  whatever it is y'all. Anyways, y'all make sure to
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  subscribe to the channel. I'm super thankful for every
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  single one of y'all and as always, misses out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
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  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
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  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.