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384: Leaning Into Your Growth Edges · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

• 0:02
  Nicole Laino : Welcome to Unshakable with Human Design, the show dedicated to helping entrepreneurs use human design to shift from hustle to flow without sacrificing results.
• 0:11
  Nicole Laino : Come here to become an unshakable human and build an unshakable business according to your human design.
• 0:17
  Nicole Laino : I'm your host, Nicole Laino.
• 0:21
  Nicole Laino: Hello and welcome to Unshakable with Human Design, everybody.
• 0:24
  Nicole Laino: I'm your host, Nicole Lino, and we're here together.
• 0:28
  Nicole Laino: So much to say today.
• 0:29
  Nicole Laino: So much to say we're here today where I want to talk about something that has.
• 0:34
  Nicole Laino: It's really funny.
• 0:35
  Nicole Laino: It always strikes me how connected I am to the clients inside business by design.
• 0:41
  Nicole Laino: I feel like so much of what I go through or what I'm feeling, they feel as well, or they're going through on some level.
• 0:50
  Nicole Laino: And it's such a beautiful way of working where it's almost like I'm in a different place, but it's just the same themes that keep coming up, right?
• 0:59
  Nicole Laino: So even though I'm further in my career in, you know, in certain ways, it's all the same cycles that we go through over and over again.
• 1:09
  Nicole Laino: And this one came up in my journaling session personally.
• 1:13
  Nicole Laino: And then almost right after it, a client sent a message in our telegram chat about basically the same thing where I felt like I was like, oh, I actually just worked this out for myself.
• 1:25
  Nicole Laino: It's things that I was noticing that I was able to give her a really well thought out response from my perspective with this and to guide her from that.
• 1:34
  Nicole Laino: And it's really about being in the middle, leaning into, like, our growth edges.
• 1:41
  Nicole Laino: And it's very uncomfortable.
• 1:43
  Nicole Laino: Maybe you've been there as well.
• 1:46
  Nicole Laino: Maybe you're there right now where you feel like you are neither where you've been and who you've been, but you're also not quite the person that you're becoming yet.
• 1:57
  Nicole Laino: You're in this weird middle, this.
• 2:00
  Nicole Laino: I heard Lindsay Marie talk about it where she's like, you know, the gap.
• 2:04
  Nicole Laino: This is a universal thing.
• 2:06
  Nicole Laino: It's just whether.
• 2:07
  Nicole Laino: What phase are you in?
• 2:08
  Nicole Laino: Are you in a phase where you're like, you're growing and things feel great and it feels super motivating and aligned.
• 2:14
  Nicole Laino: And in this space, the human design space, what I always find is that because I work with the people who at least value alignment, they value energy, or maybe they didn't always, but now they're seeing the value in finding alignment versus just finding achievement and chasing achievement.
• 2:32
  Nicole Laino: But when we're alignment people, so to speak, we're spiritual, that can really rock your world because it's like it felt aligned and now it doesn't.
• 2:40
  Nicole Laino: And this is such an interesting place.
• 2:44
  Nicole Laino: And I've seen so many people really like, have a crisis in this moment.
• 2:50
  Nicole Laino: Now, first of all, I also want to say that if you're in the middle of something, congratulations, because it means that you're on a path of growth.
• 2:57
  Nicole Laino: And a lot of people don't ever get on that path.
• 3:01
  Nicole Laino: They don't ever choose that.
• 3:03
  Nicole Laino: They choose the same and they let it be the same.
• 3:05
  Nicole Laino: And whether it feels good or feels bad doesn't matter because it just is.
• 3:10
  Nicole Laino: But if you're in the middle and you're thinking about what's next, and you're thinking about what needs to change, then you're on a path of growth.
• 3:18
  Nicole Laino: And that puts you in a minority in the world in a lot of ways.
• 3:22
  Nicole Laino: So congratulations for being in this little exclusive club where we say, I get to choose.
• 3:28
  Nicole Laino: Now.
• 3:28
  Nicole Laino: I'm gonna break down in this episode.
• 3:30
  Nicole Laino: Like, this isn't gonna be like a super Teachy episode.
• 3:33
  Nicole Laino: I'm gonna talk to you about a lot of these things that come up and I have some notes, but I'm probably gonna end up throwing them out because like I said, I have so much to say about this because it's a phase that I am in as well.
• 3:44
  Nicole Laino: And there are varying degrees of this.
• 3:46
  Nicole Laino: Like, there are sometimes where it feels like, oh my God, nothing fits anymore.
• 3:52
  Nicole Laino: Like, all the clothes in your closet just stopped fitting and you're just like, what do I do?
• 3:56
  Nicole Laino: Do I run around naked?
• 3:58
  Nicole Laino: And that's a really difficult place to be in.
• 4:00
  Nicole Laino: You know, there's sometimes where it's big life changes and then sometimes it's just like there is an evolution of the things that we do.
• 4:07
  Nicole Laino: It could be as simple as like offers friends.
• 4:11
  Nicole Laino: You know, we see this where it's just sort of like I'm outgrowing or I'm moving past, or I'm shifting into something.
• 4:18
  Nicole Laino: And it doesn't always mean that everything has to go away.
• 4:21
  Nicole Laino: That's the mind that's telling you, that's creating stories about what this means for everything else in your life.
• 4:27
  Nicole Laino: This is why human design is such a great tool and such an indispensable tool in this is because it always brings you back to you.
• 4:34
  Nicole Laino: It keeps the mind from taking control and catastrophizing the whole thing where you know, that you get into like, oh, well, what if this and what if that?
• 4:43
  Nicole Laino: All of these terrible worst case scenarios which by the way none of them have happened.
• 4:48
  Nicole Laino: So none of them are true.
• 4:50
  Nicole Laino: But the mind sees them as true.
• 4:52
  Nicole Laino: Because the mind loves to go into.
• 4:54
  Nicole Laino: What if it all falls apart?
• 4:57
  Nicole Laino: What if this is the end of everything?
• 4:59
  Nicole Laino: So I want to break down kind of like the.
• 5:00
  Nicole Laino: I was looking at what I responded to that client.
• 5:03
  Nicole Laino: I was looking at my journaling and where I'm sitting with this stuff.
• 5:06
  Nicole Laino: And I just really want to share that with you.
• 5:09
  Nicole Laino: And just how I see this is something that I'm going to show you.
• 5:13
  Nicole Laino: Like, I really want to share with you my insights on this, the things that came up for me and just some of the realizations that I had around this that I hope will beneficial to you.
• 5:23
  Nicole Laino: If you find yourself in this space, whether it's right now or maybe you've been in the past, or you just know if you're on a path of growth, you will be in this spot at some point.
• 5:34
  Nicole Laino: It is inevitable.
• 5:36
  Nicole Laino: It happens to every single one of us.
• 5:37
  Nicole Laino: If it doesn't, you're not growing.
• 5:39
  Nicole Laino: If it feels good.
• 5:41
  Nicole Laino: And I'm a human design alignment person, we are not aligned a hundred percent of the time.
• 5:45
  Nicole Laino: But what we do know if you're following an alignment path is when things aren't aligned and you're feeling into the space and you don't just immediately go into.
• 5:56
  Nicole Laino: Because I noticed with the go getters, with the achievement people, with the people who are.
• 6:02
  Nicole Laino: I see this very much as very uncomfortable for people like me.
• 6:05
  Nicole Laino: I consider myself a go getter.
• 6:06
  Nicole Laino: I go get what I want.
• 6:08
  Nicole Laino: And my biggest lesson has been leaning back a little bit and really asking better questions.
• 6:14
  Nicole Laino: So I wasn't just expending energy, distracting myself with going after more things when I could get the same thing.
• 6:23
  Nicole Laino: I could get what I wanted in different ways without all of that chaos that only comes from taking a pause and observing what you're actually doing.
• 6:32
  Nicole Laino: So it's very uncomfortable for us, the go getters, because even right now, in this phase that I'm in where I'm like, oh, I'm in the middle of something, like, there's an evolution coming.
• 6:44
  Nicole Laino: I'm not sitting here looking at everything that I have and being like, none of this fits anymore.
• 6:49
  Nicole Laino: I'm not divorcing my husband.
• 6:50
  Nicole Laino: I'm not doing like, none of that, none of it at all.
• 6:53
  Nicole Laino: I just feel there's an evolution coming.
• 6:55
  Nicole Laino: There's something calling me louder now than it ever has before, and it's telling me, you've got to come, you have to move in this direction.
• 7:03
  Nicole Laino: I Won't be ignored.
• 7:04
  Nicole Laino: Right.
• 7:06
  Nicole Laino: And I've seen in this process how much I still look to control with action.
• 7:11
  Nicole Laino: Nothing like I used to.
• 7:14
  Nicole Laino: I used to control everything with action.
• 7:16
  Nicole Laino: Okay, what am I going to do?
• 7:17
  Nicole Laino: What am I going to do?
• 7:18
  Nicole Laino: All right, okay, this is really uncomfortable.
• 7:20
  Nicole Laino: How am I going to get out of the discomfort?
• 7:22
  Nicole Laino: I know I'll take massive action that can get you very far.
• 7:24
  Nicole Laino: I'm not going to act like you don't get results taking massive action.
• 7:27
  Nicole Laino: Sure you do.
• 7:28
  Nicole Laino: I don't know if you necessarily like what you've built at the end of that, because none of it was created with very much intention.
• 7:36
  Nicole Laino: A lot of times, you know, old habits die screaming, as I like to say, or not me, but.
• 7:42
  Nicole Laino: But as the saying goes.
• 7:44
  Nicole Laino: And I don't control like I used to.
• 7:46
  Nicole Laino: But I'm seeing that tendency in myself right now.
• 7:49
  Nicole Laino: Pardon me.
• 7:51
  Nicole Laino: In this moment that I'm in, where it's like, okay, well, you know, the old me wants to take the wheel.
• 7:55
  Nicole Laino: My personality wants to take the wheel.
• 7:57
  Nicole Laino: My mind wants to take the wheel.
• 7:59
  Nicole Laino: It wants to be certain of where we're going.
• 8:01
  Nicole Laino: But I didn't choose a certain path.
• 8:03
  Nicole Laino: It's so easy to get caught up in the what am I going to do?
• 8:07
  Nicole Laino: Because we're uncomfortable.
• 8:09
  Nicole Laino: Because it's so much easier to say I'm uncomfortable.
• 8:11
  Nicole Laino: What do I do to not be uncomfortable anymore?
• 8:13
  Nicole Laino: But we can get so caught up in that what am I going to do?
• 8:17
  Nicole Laino: That we forget to ask the most important question.
• 8:19
  Nicole Laino: The most important question is, what do I really want?
• 8:23
  Nicole Laino: That is where the magic is.
• 8:25
  Nicole Laino: If you want to change your life, ask better questions.
• 8:30
  Nicole Laino: And Tony Robbins says it better where he says, the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask.
• 8:36
  Nicole Laino: What am I going to do?
• 8:37
  Nicole Laino: Is a low quality question, what do I really want?
• 8:41
  Nicole Laino: High quality question.
• 8:43
  Nicole Laino: You will get a much more juicy, intentional answer from that.
• 8:48
  Nicole Laino: A direction will come from that.
• 8:50
  Nicole Laino: More stuff on your to do list will come from the what do I do?
• 8:53
  Nicole Laino: It is a survival mode thing to say, what do I do?
• 8:56
  Nicole Laino: What do I do?
• 8:56
  Nicole Laino: What do I do?
• 8:57
  Nicole Laino: Do you have the presence to pause in a moment of feeling uncomfortable and say, I'm uncomfortable right now.
• 9:04
  Nicole Laino: Can I sit with this for a moment?
• 9:05
  Nicole Laino: When emotions are high, intelligence is low.
• 9:08
  Nicole Laino: If you can sit with an uncomfortable feeling.
• 9:11
  Nicole Laino: If you can sit in the messy middle, in the uncertainty and just ask the question, well, what do I want?
• 9:18
  Nicole Laino: We have to create space for a big question like that.
• 9:21
  Nicole Laino: And what really came through for me in my journaling and My own self reflection during this process of, you know, where am I going and what is this new thing that's calling me?
• 9:32
  Nicole Laino: Just what's this next level?
• 9:34
  Nicole Laino: For me, it's easy to forget in the fear that we are in co creation with the universe.
• 9:41
  Nicole Laino: We.
• 9:42
  Nicole Laino: We create with our actions and we create with our intentions.
• 9:46
  Nicole Laino: And I have some upcoming episodes that are going to go into even more of that, of why that's so cosmically and energetically important and more true than ever before in upcoming episodes that we have for you on this show.
• 9:59
  Nicole Laino: Because the energy is changing and you've probably felt that.
• 10:03
  Nicole Laino: You have probably felt that, like the energy is getting quick.
• 10:07
  Nicole Laino: It's really calling us, those of us who are listening and not just in the program so deeply that you don't even know what's going on.
• 10:16
  Nicole Laino: You just, you feel terrible and you feel chaos and, you know, you just book another appointment with your therapist.
• 10:21
  Nicole Laino: That's not the people who listen to this show.
• 10:24
  Nicole Laino: No, we're choosing and we know that it is moving fast and instead of getting caught up in it unconsciously, we can observe it.
• 10:33
  Nicole Laino: So this space, what it actually is a crossroads.
• 10:38
  Nicole Laino: We come to them over and over again.
• 10:40
  Nicole Laino: Do we want to go back to what is safe?
• 10:42
  Nicole Laino: That is one path that you can go down at this middle point, although we usually equate with being comfortable.
• 10:48
  Nicole Laino: But if you're in this game, you probably know that going back to what's safe is actually quite uncomfortable.
• 10:54
  Nicole Laino: So we're challenging even what comfort is.
• 10:57
  Nicole Laino: What does comfort even really mean or feel like in the beginning?
• 11:02
  Nicole Laino: If you're at the very beginning of your journey and you're just making this ch for the first time, you're sitting at this crossroads of where am I going?
• 11:09
  Nicole Laino: Do I stay the same or do I change?
• 11:12
  Nicole Laino: Do I choose a different path?
• 11:14
  Nicole Laino: Then this might feel like a really big challenge that feels almost insurmountable, super scary.
• 11:20
  Nicole Laino: I've had to make this choice so many times.
• 11:22
  Nicole Laino: I've been at this crossroads so many times that I'm not going to say that it's easy, but I'm used to it.
• 11:29
  Nicole Laino: It's like, oh, here we are.
• 11:31
  Nicole Laino: And if you listen to the show and you've been listening for a long time, you've probably heard me say this over and over again.
• 11:37
  Nicole Laino: Our shadows, our challenges, the things that we face.
• 11:41
  Nicole Laino: I think there's this myth that we're always facing something different.
• 11:44
  Nicole Laino: Oh, what's the next thing going to be?
• 11:46
  Nicole Laino: Now what I find is what we're really facing is the same Shadow.
• 11:50
  Nicole Laino: The same challenge at a different level, same dragon.
• 11:54
  Nicole Laino: But our relationship to it changes.
• 11:57
  Nicole Laino: So this crossroads, I have been here a million times at this point.
• 12:01
  Nicole Laino: My relationship to it has changed.
• 12:03
  Nicole Laino: But now it's still a crossroads.
• 12:04
  Nicole Laino: I still have to choose again.
• 12:05
  Nicole Laino: I still have to have the presence to observe that I'm even in it.
• 12:11
  Nicole Laino: Because it's so easy to get sucked into the automatic programming or unconscious sort of way of life, to just keep going in the direction that we've always gone in, to not question it, or to get so scared that you just run backwards in the other direction.
• 12:28
  Nicole Laino: No, no, I'm going to stay.
• 12:29
  Nicole Laino: I'm going to go do that thing.
• 12:30
  Nicole Laino: Even though it's uncomfortable, it's safe, right?
• 12:33
  Nicole Laino: The other path is to choose the unknown.
• 12:36
  Nicole Laino: But here's the thing with the unknown.
• 12:38
  Nicole Laino: If you choose the path of the unknown, what a lot of people don't talk about is what you are choosing is to write your own story.
• 12:46
  Nicole Laino: You're saying, I don't know what's out there.
• 12:48
  Nicole Laino: And this is where people screw this up.
• 12:51
  Nicole Laino: I don't know what's out there, but I'm gonna choose the path of my own making.
• 12:56
  Nicole Laino: Right?
• 12:58
  Nicole Laino: What they get screwed up with is that you're choosing to write your own story.
• 13:05
  Nicole Laino: But that choice doesn't end by choosing the path of the unknown.
• 13:10
  Nicole Laino: It's not like, okay, I made the choice.
• 13:12
  Nicole Laino: I'm gonna write my own story.
• 13:13
  Nicole Laino: That choice isn't the end.
• 13:15
  Nicole Laino: It's not like, I chose this path and now it's, you know, that choice is over now.
• 13:18
  Nicole Laino: Okay, I did it.
• 13:20
  Nicole Laino: No, it's just the beginning.
• 13:21
  Nicole Laino: And a lot of people think it's the end and they let their guard down or they get caught up and they're waiting for something to make all the other choices for them.
• 13:31
  Nicole Laino: They're waiting for somebody or something to fill in the pages.
• 13:36
  Nicole Laino: Sometimes we hire a coach to do that.
• 13:38
  Nicole Laino: I'm very careful about not filling in the pages for my clients.
• 13:42
  Nicole Laino: That's not my job.
• 13:43
  Nicole Laino: My job is to help them write their own story.
• 13:47
  Nicole Laino: I can help them do that.
• 13:48
  Nicole Laino: But the choices of what goes on that page has to be their own.
• 13:52
  Nicole Laino: That's the new world that we're moving into.
• 13:54
  Nicole Laino: We all get to choose.
• 13:56
  Nicole Laino: But the problem is that we look to have somebody else fill in the pages.
• 14:00
  Nicole Laino: Where are you doing that right now?
• 14:02
  Nicole Laino: Where are you relying on somebody else to fill in those pages of your book, of your story?
• 14:08
  Nicole Laino: This entrepreneurial path, this path of creating and co creating our world with the universe, it's essential for you to remember that you are the author and you have to keep writing your story every day.
• 14:26
  Nicole Laino: You have to keep choosing every day.
• 14:30
  Nicole Laino: And we do that with, just like I said before, we do that with our intentions, our thoughts, our nervous system.
• 14:39
  Nicole Laino: And we do that with our actions.
• 14:41
  Nicole Laino: And you have to keep choosing.
• 14:43
  Nicole Laino: And that's why I don't say that this is an easy path.
• 14:46
  Nicole Laino: It sounds so easy to people.
• 14:48
  Nicole Laino: It's not at all.
• 14:49
  Nicole Laino: And the reason it's not easy is because you have to choose every moment of every day and you have to never forget.
• 14:57
  Nicole Laino: And it's so easy to forget that you are the author, that you get to write this story.
• 15:02
  Nicole Laino: That is you.
• 15:04
  Nicole Laino: So many people stop writing and they let the world fill in the pages and then they think, it didn't work for me.
• 15:10
  Nicole Laino: No, you just stopped writing.
• 15:13
  Nicole Laino: That's really what happened.
• 15:14
  Nicole Laino: And it's never too late to start writing it again.
• 15:18
  Nicole Laino: That's what I wanted to say.
• 15:19
  Nicole Laino: So I'm going to leave you with that.
• 15:20
  Nicole Laino: I want to leave you with this question maybe where have you stopped writing your story?
• 15:28
  Nicole Laino: Where have you been where?
• 15:29
  Nicole Laino: Waiting for or allowing the world to fill in the pages?
• 15:34
  Nicole Laino: Or stopped moving altogether?
• 15:36
  Nicole Laino: Just wondering, why doesn't somebody else fill in the pages?
• 15:38
  Nicole Laino: I will guarantee you someone will.
• 15:41
  Nicole Laino: But then it's not your story anymore.
• 15:43
  Nicole Laino: Keep choosing the path.
• 15:45
  Nicole Laino: Thanks for being here.
• 15:46
  Nicole Laino: I appreciate you.
• 15:48
  Nicole Laino: And remember, in order to have an unshakable business, you must first become an unshakable human.
• 15:53
  Nicole Laino: So thanks for letting us help you become unshakable with human design.
• 15:56
  Nicole Laino: We'll see you next time.
• 15:57
  Nicole Laino : If you love this episode and you're a fan of the show, please show us the love on itunes, Spotify, or wherever you're listening to the show and leave us a review.
• 16:04
  Nicole Laino : And if you'd like to connect with other entrepreneurs on their human design journey, join our free Facebook community, Human Design for Entrepreneurs.
• 16:11
  Nicole Laino : Go to nicolelaino Me Podcastlinks to join the group.
• 16:16
  Nicole Laino : Book a human design reading with me or access our free human design resources.
• 16:20
  Nicole Laino: We'll see you there.
• 16:22
  Nicole Laino: Sam.