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Why You Push Love Away: The Hidden Psychology of Intimacy Struggles · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

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  Speaker 1: While some may dismiss your struggle as being too picky,
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  Speaker 1: there could be a deeper underlying psychological reason for your behavior.
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  Speaker 1: Intimacy takes many forms. So whether it's the ability to
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  Speaker 1: feel close to someone sexually, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, or even experientially,
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  Speaker 1: keep watching to learn the root cause of your struggles
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  Speaker 1: with intimacy. You've been betrayed before. Clinical psychologist Leon F. Seltzer, PhD,
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  Speaker 1: explains that any close relationship will bring to the surface
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  Speaker 1: past experiences with intimacy. This is especially true with your
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  Speaker 1: first experience with betrayal, which probably involved your family. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: your parents divorced or one of them abandoned the family.
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  Speaker 1: Betrayal can also look like having a sick parent hospitalized
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  Speaker 1: for a long time or the death of a parent
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  Speaker 1: when you were a child. Psychologist Leon Seltzer says that
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  Speaker 1: there are many different ways you could have experienced abandonment
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  Speaker 1: or betrayal growing up, which made you determined not to
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  Speaker 1: set yourself up to be discarded ever again. You have
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  Speaker 1: to be cautious. In the past, when you've let your
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  Speaker 1: guard down and let someone in, they've always ended up
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  Speaker 1: hurting you, proving precisely why you must have your guard up.
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  Speaker 1: But you also worry that you won't be worth the
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  Speaker 1: wait for the right person, that they won't be patient
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  Speaker 1: in waiting for you to slowly open up. and leave
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  Speaker 1: you because of it. Relationship coach Julie Nguyen explains it's
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  Speaker 1: perfectly okay to take relationships slowly and not rush into intimacy.
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  Speaker 1: It becomes a problem if you want that intimacy but
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  Speaker 1: push it away. This fear may have been caused by
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  Speaker 1: past trauma or from being punished for showing vulnerability in
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  Speaker 1: past relationships or in childhood. So I want you to
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  Speaker 1: know that you're worth waiting for and that the right
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  Speaker 1: person will be patient with you. You have to take
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  Speaker 1: care of you. Life's taught you repeatedly that the only
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  Speaker 1: person you can count on is yourself. You take care
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  Speaker 1: of yourself. And that's worked out for you. Well, if
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  Speaker 1: you're being honest, it's only kind of worked. Deep down,
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  Speaker 1: you still want someone to take care of you too.
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  Speaker 1: Though not in a needy way because you would take
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  Speaker 1: care of them as well. It's essential to be honest
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  Speaker 1: with yourself about your needs. Because as psychotherapist Amy Lo says,
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  Speaker 1: if you construct a facade of pretending not to have
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  Speaker 1: any needs, eventually you start to believe you really don't
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  Speaker 1: need love. There's a difference between healthy independence and unhealthy independence.
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  Speaker 1: The difference being that mature independence doesn't deny your inevitable
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  Speaker 1: need to be connected with the rest of humanity. Psy
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  Speaker 1: gets that letting someone in can be terrifying, but you
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  Speaker 1: don't have to do it all alone, nor should you.
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  Speaker 1: You can let someone in slowly, If they prove worthy
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  Speaker 1: of your trust, you have agency. And remember, you can
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  Speaker 1: always change your mind or say no if you need to.
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  Speaker 1: You get to decide who can take care of you
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  Speaker 1: because you deserve that. You're strong and we see that.
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  Speaker 1: You've been through a lot and it's understandable why you
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  Speaker 1: struggle with intimacy. You've been hurt and you needed to
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  Speaker 1: protect yourself, but you deserve intimacy and there's no rush.
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  Speaker 1: Until then, please know that support is available for mental
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  Speaker 1: health professionals if you're open to it. Did any of
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  Speaker 1: the signs feel familiar or relatable to you? They did
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  Speaker 1: to me. We know these topics can be sensitive, so
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  Speaker 1: we wanna create a safe space for you to share
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  Speaker 1: any questions, comments, or personal experiences you may have in
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  Speaker 1: the comments below. Thank you for watching so we can
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  Speaker 1: help as many people as possible. Please share, like, and
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: subscribe to help this video reach those who need it.
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  Speaker 1: And remember, you matter.