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Why Do I Keep Buying Things I Don't Need? · Becoming Financially Confident

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  Ralph: You ever brought something home, then instantly regretted that purchase.
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  Or maybe you feel like you're in this cycle of constantly acquiring
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  things, but still searching for true satisfaction in your life.
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  Well, what if you could understand the why behind that and why you
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  keep buying things you don't need?
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  And finally, break free from that cycle.
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  I want you to stick with me today 'cause I'm gonna show you exactly how
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  to make that happen on today's show.
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  Hey there.
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  Welcome back to your Daily, financially Confident Christian.
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  I'm Ralph and it's great to be with you again.
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  Today we continue on our pursuit, answering that question of how can I
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  become a financially confident Christian?
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  And we're in our series Beyond the Budget, finding Financial
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  Freedom through Intentional Living.
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  And if you've been following along, you know, so far we've covered contentment.
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  We talked about gratitude, we talked about spending by values, and today
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  we're gonna answer a more difficult question, and that is, why do I
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  keep buying things I don't need?
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  I think it's a great question because if you're like me, you feel this at
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  times, maybe you're feeling it right now, and think about it like this.
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  You go for one item at the grocery store.
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  This is the typical situation, right?
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  I gotta go in and just grab one thing, but then you come out with five.
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  Or maybe you're online shopping or you're walking through Target or something
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  and a deal just grabs your attention and you feel fantastic for the moment,
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  oh, these shoes are fantastic, or, or this, sure, oh, I gotta have this shirt.
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  Then later you just feel regret and you're stuck in this impulse buy cycle.
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  And I'm betting right now you're saying Ralph, that's familiar to
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  me and boy, that is frustrating.
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  And in the end All it does is adds clutter.
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  It drains our savings and it brings guilt.
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  'cause you're working hard, you're working so hard, I know you're working
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  hard, but your money just disappears.
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  And I'm gonna say something rather bold right now in my personal view.
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  The core issue is you're buying isn't aligned with your
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  values or intentional living.
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  That's really what it comes down to.
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  So here's the thing, and companies know how to manipulate your spending habits.
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  There are teams of people spending every minute to try to figure
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  out how to make you buy more, how to buy additional things.
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  And they prey on your emotions.
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  They prey on them.
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  That's their job.
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  They pray on boredom.
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  Hey, I've got nothing to do.
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  I'm bored.
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  They pray on insecurity.
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  Oh, you gotta have this.
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  They prey on stress.
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  And most of the time as we're doing this, we're trying to fill a void, a word.
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  We're trying to find some momentary joy in the tough situations in life.
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  Look at the book of Ecclesiastes chapter five.
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  Verse 10 says this, whoever loves money never has enough.
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  This too is meaningless.
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  Let's just park there for a second and let's, let's, let's dissect this.
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  Whoever loves money, the love of money, if that's where your
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  love is, what does the word say?
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  You never have enough.
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  Why is that?
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  Because you're buying to, so the motion or you're buying to gain approval,
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  those things will never satisfy you.
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  So how do you break out of it?
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  You recognize your triggers because once you recognize your triggers, you're
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  going to be able to respond wisely.
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  And listen, this isn't about shame.
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  This is about living in a sense of stewardship.
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  That's what this show is all about, and it's choosing intentionality,
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  that is the big word for this new series, choosing intentionality.
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  When you make that choice, it is powerful and it is absolutely freeing.
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  So now you're asking Ralph, what can we do?
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  How do you stop buying what you don't need?
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  And I kind of mentioned it a minute ago, the simple solution is to
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  identify your impulse triggers and create delayed base strategies.
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  I want you to remember this simple phrase, awareness.
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  Plus pause equals self-control.
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  I'm gonna say that one more time 'cause it's, you gotta
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  commit this to memory awareness.
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  You're aware and you take that pause that equals self-control.
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  So here's your one action step for today.
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  To really get to the point of breaking that cycle, I want you
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  to identify one or two impulse triggers, and I want you to do this.
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  I want you to apply this exercise to that.
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  When you do that, when you start thinking about those impulse triggers, think about
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  where you were and what you were feeling.
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  Let's talk about some of those examples right now.
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  So let's say it's the end of a day.
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  You're laying in bed, you're tired, and you're scrolling at night.
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  Okay?
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  So where were you?
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  You were laying in bed after a long day.
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  You got your phone in hand, okay, you got the picture.
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  What were you feeling?
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  Now if you're like many of us, you're feeling drained.
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  Been a long day.
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  This happened, this crisis at work, this crisis with the kids, and you're
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  just looking for some comfort or you're looking to just have a minute to escape.
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  So what's the trigger here?
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  The trigger here is pretty straightforward.
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  Emotional fatigue, that's a problem.
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  Late night scrolling on Instagram or Amazon, there's your trigger.
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  How about this one?
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  Maybe you're bored at work.
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  It's a mid-afternoon.
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  You're in that mid-afternoon slump.
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  So where were you?
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  You're sitting at the desk after a soy afternoon, you had the lunch.
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  And here like me, three o'clock comes, you're like, I need a nap.
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  So let's ask the next question.
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  How are you feeling?
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  Well, I'm feeling bored.
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  I'm feeling tired.
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  I'm feeling unmotivated.
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  So what do you do?
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  You're right there in front of your computer working.
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  Let's just say you working a desk job or you're right there, have your
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  phone, you're feeling boredom, and you got easy access to online shopping
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  during work breaks is a trigger.
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  This is my final example for today.
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  That fear of missing out pressure from friends.
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  Let's say you're in the middle of a group chat and you're buzzing about a
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  new sail, or one of your friends has got this new pair of jeans or whatever
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  the cool things are these days, or, or maybe somebody's going on a weekend trip.
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  That's where you were.
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  That's that's where you were, right?
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  What are you feeling now?
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  Well, Ralph, I was feeling left out.
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  I was feeling, I was afraid I was gonna miss something.
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  What's the trigger there?
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  Well.
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  social pressure, right?
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  And you're afraid you're gonna miss out on something you're wanting to fit in.
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  So here's the challenge for today.
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  Real simple.
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  I want you to just write down your top one or two triggers.
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  What are those triggers for you?
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  Is it that boredom at night?
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  Is that boredom in the middle afternoon?
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  Is that fear of missing out and that social pressure?
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  So now you know your triggers.
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  Well, here's the antidote to the triggers.
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  Here's how you really break outta that cycle.
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  I want you to create a simple rule for yourself.
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  What I'll call the pause, give you a couple examples.
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  Let's say that you're shopping online, Amazon, wherever you like to shop.
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  Maybe you're even on Facebook or some social media.
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  See these shoes?
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  You gotta have a $75 pair of shoes online.
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  But here's your rule.
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  You're gonna set this rule ahead of time.
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  You're gonna say, here's the deal.
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  I am not gonna buy anything till it sits in a cart for 48 hours.
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  So what do you do?
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  You add those shoes to your cart, you set the reminder for four, eight hours,
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  and then after two days you come back and you realize, guess what, Ralph?
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  I didn't really need them, and you're glad you didn't waste that money.
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  So that's one option.
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  The four eight hour for you.
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  Hey, maybe for you, it's a one week rule.
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  Here's another thing you can do.
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  That's what I call the three check filter.
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  So whenever you go to buy something, ask yourself these three questions.
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  Number one.
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  Does it align with my values?
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  We talked a lot about that yesterday.
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  Is it a value of simplicity?
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  Is it a value of financial freedom being outta debt, whatever.
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  It's ask yourself, does it align with my values?
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  Second question, is it in my budget?
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  Have I already allocated this money?
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  Is the money in my sames got where it is?
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  Is it in my budget?
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  So does it align my values?
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  Is it in my budget?
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  Third thing, do you truly need it or is this just an emotional buying situation?
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  There we go.
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  The pause, the three check filter.
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  I'm gonna throw one more at you 'cause I think this will really be impactful.
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  A lot of people don't think of this one.
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  This is Ralph's big pro tip for today.
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  Make it manual, What is that?
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  What does Ralph mean by that?
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  Here's what you want.
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  I want you to do, go to all your shopping app sites and remove your credit cards.
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  Don't even have 'em on the site.
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  Why?
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  'cause I want you to have extra effort in entering those details,
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  which is gonna give you space to think about, do I really need this?
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  'cause see, it's so easy.
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  It's easy for me.
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  Amazon's got three or four of my credit cards tied to it.
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  I can be wherever and just scroll.
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  Oh, beautiful.
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  I want that.
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  Click here, buy now.
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  That's what they want.
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  That's what the, that's what the store, that's what the retailers want you to do.
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  Put a little friction there for yourself.
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  Make it manual.
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  And here's a little bonus thing, maybe you wanna do this, have
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  what I call a no spend challenge.
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  Maybe pick a Saturday and say, I'm gonna play a game where I'm only
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  buying essentials on Saturdays.
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  Gas, groceries, things you have to have no coffee runs, no browsing Target to
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  just take a look, just no spend Saturday.
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  But I'm gonna add a little piece to that and I'm, giving a couple little
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  extra things today, but I want you to write down the urges that you feel.
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  And at the end of the week, go back and look at those urges and write
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  down how much money you saved.
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  Boy, that is going to be impactful to you.
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  How about we pray together, Father God, we just want to thank you for
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  your provision in our life, Lord.
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  And we confess, Lord, that we often buy from emotion, we don't do it
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  with intention, Lord, we don't put it through that three test.
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  So Lord, we just ask you right now to help us spot our triggers, help
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  us see what those things are and strengthen that self-control, that
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  awareness, pause, self-control.
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  And Lord, just teach us to find joy and teach us to find peace in you,
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  not in purchases, not in stuff.
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  And bigger than that, Lord, let us help our finances reflect your purpose in our
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  lives, and we ask this in confidence.
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  In Jesus' name, Amen.
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  Listen to me.
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  Break the buying cycle brings peace and it brings freedom.
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  So know your triggers.
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  Pause before your purchases and challenge yourself today and listen, if this
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  show has been impactful to you, if this specific episode has made a difference
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  to you, I wanna encourage you right now, share this episode with someone else.
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  A lot of people are dealing with financial cycles and financial stress
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  and the shame that goes along with that.
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  And this show, this particular episode, could really reach out to them.
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  So send 'em a text and say, Hey, I listened to this guy Ralph.
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  Here's a link to his website.
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  It's financially.
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  Confident christian.com or go right onto your podcast episode, or maybe
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  you're watching this on YouTube and just click share and send it to
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  somebody that could be impacted by this.
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  I also wanna give you a free gift.
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  If you go to my website, again, that's financially
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  confident christian.com/master.
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  You get a free copy of my book, it's called Mastering Your Finances.
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  It's a short read, but it is super impactful.
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  I'm gonna encourage you to do that again.
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  That's it.
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  Financially confident christian.com/master.
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  Now, tomorrow on the show, we're gonna talk about how to stop chasing
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  what others have and break free from that cycle of comparison.
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  Kind of goes along with what we're talking about today.
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  So I'm gonna encourage you, don't miss it.
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  Now, let's all go out there and be financially confident.
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  Christians, you can do this.
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  I truly believe in you.
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  Believe in yourself.
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  Stay financially savvy.
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  God bless you, and you have a great day today.