Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Mind DOESN’T Make You WEAK... It Means You’re GROWING (S5) S40:E2 Sunday

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Mind DOESN’T Make You WEAK... It Means You’re GROWING (S5) S40:E2 Sunday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:20
Well there hello everyone and welcome to the
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today.
0:31
If this is your very first time joining
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It's always great to have you here with
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This is a daily motivational show and like
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I said it is so great to have
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If you've been here one time, five times,
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ten times, a hundred or maybe even more
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you lost track of the count that's okay.
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I like to say welcome and thank you
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but I also like to say some important
1:01
words to you.
1:02
I'd like to say welcome back.
1:05
Yes welcome back.
1:06
I always appreciate people that enjoy the quality
1:08
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1:10
here at the at the show at the
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inspirations for your live show as well as
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all my other great content.
1:16
Don't forget to grab yourself an RO water.
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I have some fresh lemon and it is
1:21
delicious maybe you want a snack maybe you
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want some fruit whatever you want feel free
1:25
to go grab that.
1:26
Now on Sundays guys and Thursdays we give
1:29
a shout out to a local restaurant or
1:32
we give a shout out to a coffee
1:34
shop.
1:35
So today I'm giving a shout out to
1:38
Mod Cup and so Mod Cup is currently
1:42
in Jersey City and they are pretty much
1:51
open from most of the day from 8
1:55
a.m to 4 30 and they have
2:00
locations basically all over the place.
2:04
Mod Cup coffee, their cafe shops and they
2:10
basically have all different types of coffee.
2:13
They have something called the coffee ladder philosophy.
2:16
They say coffee can taste wildly different depending
2:19
on how it's grown process roasted and blended.
2:22
Some coffees are built for comfort and routine
2:25
others are built for exploration.
2:27
So they show other people working in the
2:30
coffee let's say fields there other people you
2:36
know starting to roast the coffee and so
2:40
yep they've been around for a little while
2:43
so you can buy coffee they have different
2:46
coffee shops.
2:48
The one that I was drawn to was
2:50
one that I heard about in Jersey City.
2:53
So again they have these pretty much all
2:58
over the place but Jersey City is probably
3:01
our closest one that is around.
3:06
They have one they have a roastery basically.
3:11
This one is located on 25 Senate Place
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and it's unit apartment 3 Jersey City and
3:24
so they are closed right now.
3:27
They have other locations as well.
3:30
You can explore them at modcup.com.
3:37
So I do want to take the opportunity
3:39
to say hello to them and I hope
3:43
that they will check out believemeachieved.com for
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All right guys let's get into the show.
3:57
You can check out believemeachieved.com after the
4:00
show is over.
4:00
We have a lot to share with you.
4:02
So hello everyone and welcome once again to
4:04
the ever popular inspirations for your live show.
4:06
I'm your host John C.
4:08
Morley.
4:08
I'm a serial entrepreneur, an engineer, marketing specialist,
4:11
video producer, podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate
4:14
student at Montgomery State University, a passionate lifelong
4:18
learner and so grateful now to be a
4:20
published author.
4:22
Yes guys our weekly master topic is your
4:25
actions are telling the truth about you.
4:27
Season five show 40.
4:31
Today is Sunday and again this is actually
4:34
episode number two and our topic for today
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is changing your mind doesn't make you weak.
4:40
It means you're getting stronger.
4:43
Have you ever made a decision folks and
4:45
later realized it wasn't the right one.
4:47
Maybe new information appeared.
4:49
Maybe circumstances changed or maybe you changed and
4:52
yet instead of changing direction you kept going
4:55
because you didn't want anyone to think you
4:57
were wrong.
4:58
Today I'm changing all that.
5:00
Number one changing direction doesn't automatically mean you
5:04
fail.
5:04
Sometimes it means you learn something.
5:07
Growth gives us information we didn't have before
5:09
and mature people allow that information to influence
5:13
what happens next.
5:14
Number two new information should be allowed to
5:18
change your thinking.
5:20
Why would we want better information if we're
5:22
unwilling to use it.
5:24
When credible new information arrives we need to
5:28
challenge our old assumptions.
5:31
Examine them and decide are they still worth
5:33
hanging on to or should we change.
5:36
Updating your thinking isn't a weakness it's learning
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but I know it's uncomfortable for a lot
5:40
of people so they're like John this isn't
5:42
doesn't make me feel good.
5:43
I know.
5:45
Number three you don't have to defend an
5:47
outdated decision.
5:48
A decision may have made complete sense when
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you made it.
5:52
That doesn't mean it has to remain the
5:54
right decision forever.
5:55
Stop treating every past choice as a lifetime.
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I think that's the I think that's the
6:01
most uh most most most important thing to
6:06
understand and understand that um and so maybe
6:14
that'll make sense to you but it's going
6:16
to take some time okay.
6:18
It's definitely going to take some time for
6:19
you to to realize that and hopefully you
6:22
can um you can understand um and so
6:27
it doesn't mean it has to remain that
6:30
way forever.
6:31
Stop treating every past choice as a lifetime
6:35
contract or sentence.
6:37
Number four being wrong doesn't make you a
6:40
failure.
6:41
Everybody gets things wrong.
6:42
The real question is what you do after
6:45
discovering it.
6:45
Being wrong gives you an opportunity to learn.
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Refusing to acknowledge it can turn a mistake
6:50
into something much more large okay and more
6:54
chaotic.
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Number five admitting mistakes can prevent a bigger
6:59
one.
6:59
The earlier you recognize a mistake the more
7:02
options you may have.
7:04
Sometimes three words I was wrong can prevent
7:08
months or even years of unnecessary consequences.
7:11
Number six pride can keep you committed to
7:14
the wrong path.
7:16
Pride whispers hey you you can't change now
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you can't change now what people think but
7:22
staying on the wrong road doesn't somehow make
7:25
it any more right.
7:27
Your ego shouldn't determine your destination but a
7:29
lot of people use it to.
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Number seven ask whether the decision still serves
7:34
you.
7:35
Don't only ask whether the decision was right
7:37
when you made it okay.
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Ask whether it still makes sense now.
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Circumstances evolve.
7:45
Goals evolve.
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You evolve.
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Number eight yesterday's choice doesn't have to control
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tomorrow.
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No.
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Yesterday deserves to teach you not imprison you
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right.
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You can respect why you made a previous
7:58
decision while deciding that tomorrow requires something different.
8:02
You're allowed to reconsider guys.
8:04
Give yourself permission to stop okay to stop
8:11
and think again.
8:13
Reconsideration isn't surrender.
8:15
It means you're willing to examine whether your
8:17
actions will align with what you're trying to
8:21
accomplish.
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I think that's important.
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Does that important for us to know?
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Number nine you're allowed uh to reconsider anytime.
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Give yourself permission to stop and think again.
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Reconsideration isn't surrender.
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It means you're willing to examine whether your
8:45
actions still align with what you're trying to
8:48
accomplish.
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That that's a big point guys a really
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big point.
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Number ten growth requires updating what you believe.
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Imagine if we never update anything.
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We believed after learning something new.
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Growth would become impossible.
9:02
Personal development requires okay us to remain teachable.
9:07
Stop protecting decisions simply because they're yours.
9:12
Uh we naturally become attached to our own
9:14
ideas.
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Number 11.
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But ownership doesn't make an idea correct guys.
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Do you know what I'm saying?
9:24
I think that I think that's an important
9:26
thing.
9:27
Um you know we naturally become attached to
9:30
our own ideas but ownership doesn't make an
9:32
idea correct and ask yourself whether you're defending
9:35
something because it's good or because it's yours.
9:38
And either way it's okay but I think
9:41
we need to understand that just because it's
9:43
yours doesn't make it like the best okay.
9:46
Number 12.
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Changing your mind isn't the same as being
9:50
inconsistent.
9:51
Constantly changing direction without thought can create problems
9:55
but deliberately changing your mind because you've learned
9:58
something new is different.
10:01
That's thoughtful adaptation.
10:03
Number 13.
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Strong people can acknowledge better information.
10:08
Strength isn't pretending you know everything.
10:10
Strength includes being secure enough to say that's
10:13
something I don't know fully or I don't
10:16
understand.
10:17
Let me reconsider.
10:18
Let me research that.
10:20
I think that's one of the wisest things
10:22
anybody can do is say you know what
10:23
I'm not 100 percent sure uh I need
10:25
to check that.
10:26
I need to research that.
10:27
It comes up in my field sometimes.
10:29
Number 14.
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Course correction can save years of frustration.
10:34
Think about navigation.
10:36
If you're heading in the wrong direction you
10:38
don't keep driving just because you're already traveled
10:41
50 miles.
10:43
You correct the route.
10:44
Life sometimes requires the same thing and a
10:47
lot of people believe that they can just
10:49
stuff things under because of their ego.
10:52
Number 15.
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Listen before automatically defending yourself.
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When someone challenges your thinking notice your first
10:58
reaction.
10:59
Are you listening to understand or simply preparing
11:02
your defense?
11:03
You don't have to agree guys but listen
11:05
long enough to evaluate what they're saying.
11:09
I mean 100 percent because a lot of
11:11
people say well you know what this doesn't
11:12
make sense to me but I'm here to
11:14
tell you it does make sense if you
11:17
just get rid of your ego for a
11:18
moment.
11:18
That's hard for a lot of people because
11:20
getting rid of your ego means that you're
11:23
going to feel what?
11:25
Uncomfortable.
11:26
Where'd I say success starts to breathe?
11:28
In the uncomfortable world.
11:30
Number 16.
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Ask what you know now that you don't
11:34
know then.
11:37
Ask what you know now that you didn't
11:39
know then.
11:40
This is a powerful question.
11:42
Instead of attacking yourself for an old decision
11:44
or paradigm examine what has changed in your
11:47
life.
11:47
What information experience or perspective do you have
11:50
today that you didn't have before today?
11:53
Don't beat yourself up about it guys.
11:55
There's no reason to do that.
11:56
Number 17.
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Don't confuse stubbornness with strength.
12:00
See standing firm can be admirable when you're
12:03
standing for something that you make sense of
12:06
but refusing to move despite clear evidence isn't
12:09
necessarily strength guys.
12:10
Sometimes real strength is changing the direction.
12:14
Number 18.
12:15
A different direction can still honor the original
12:18
goal.
12:19
Maybe your goal hasn't changed at all.
12:22
Maybe only the route has changed.
12:26
There can be multiple ways to reach something
12:28
meaningful.
12:29
Don't become so attached to one route that
12:32
you lose sight of the destination.
12:35
A lot of people do this.
12:36
Why?
12:37
Because they're trying to keep the ego alive
12:39
and there's no reason to keep the ego
12:41
alive.
12:42
I mean there's no real reason to do
12:44
that okay.
12:45
So be mindful of that.
12:48
Number 19.
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Sometimes quitting one approach protects the mission.
12:53
Quitting a method isn't always quitting the mission.
12:56
A strategy can fail while the goal remains
12:59
worthwhile.
13:00
Drop what isn't working and protect what actually
13:03
matters and again I know guys that that's
13:06
not a comfortable thing to do.
13:07
I've said to you before this stuff is
13:10
not comfortable.
13:11
So if you're thinking about that that's a
13:14
big problem for a lot of people.
13:16
If you are thinking about that how do
13:18
you change where you are right now?
13:20
I think that could be a problem for
13:21
a lot of people too because they're looking
13:23
for something comfortable.
13:24
Number 20 guys.
13:25
Give yourself permission to make a better choice.
13:28
You don't need permission from everyone who knew
13:32
about your original decision.
13:34
If you have responsibility to determine that a
13:37
better choice exists allow yourself that freedom to
13:40
make it.
13:40
It's your choice.
13:42
Don't be in prison because people around you
13:45
say oh you can't change.
13:46
Sure you can.
13:48
You know a lot of people don't want
13:49
you to change.
13:49
I've learned this over the years because they
13:52
want to hold you where you are.
13:54
It keeps you in a spot that allows
13:57
them to feel comfortable but I'm not here
13:59
to make other people feel comfortable.
14:00
But they may try to convince you that
14:04
oh no stay where you are.
14:05
Number 21.
14:07
Your ego doesn't need to win every argument.
14:09
You may think it does.
14:11
Imagine how much energy we waste trying to
14:13
prove we're right.
14:15
Sometimes the most productive outcome isn't winning an
14:18
argument guys.
14:19
It's discovering something useful in our life.
14:22
Number 22.
14:23
Learn to say I was wrong.
14:26
Three powerful words.
14:27
I was wrong.
14:29
Not I was wrong but not excuse disguised
14:33
as an admission.
14:34
Simply recognizing when you got something wrong can
14:37
build credibility because it demonstrates honesty.
14:41
Learn to say I've changed my mind.
14:45
There's something people realize that they go in
14:51
this circle they know what to do but
14:53
I want to tell you something.
14:54
There's nothing shameful about saying I've changed my
14:57
mind.
14:58
You could change your mind.
15:00
That's your right.
15:01
You know I remember when I was with
15:03
friends and you know you're going to the
15:04
top of the slide.
15:05
You weren't ready to go down the slide.
15:07
Oh I changed my mind.
15:07
You know they'd call you all kinds of
15:09
words and names.
15:10
It is your right to change your mind.
15:13
You can explain why if appropriate.
15:17
Maybe you learn something.
15:19
Maybe circumstances change.
15:20
Maybe your perspective evolved.
15:22
I remember that happened to me a few
15:24
times the very first time I went to
15:25
a water park.
15:26
I wasn't ready to go to that big
15:28
double dunk.
15:29
I did eventually but when somebody pushes you
15:32
that makes you even more uncoupled.
15:35
That makes you feel well like you don't
15:37
even belong there.
15:39
So uncoupled is one thing but when it
15:41
causes like a situation where you can't even
15:43
decide whether to move forward that's a stalemate.
15:47
Number 24.
15:48
Learn to say there's a better way.
15:51
This takes us beyond admitting the old approach
15:54
and saying that wasn't working.
15:56
Now we're looking forward if you've discovered a
15:59
better way don't reject it merely because it
16:02
wasn't your original way.
16:04
You know many times things are made in
16:06
life and they're not made for what the
16:08
reason.
16:09
Let's take the failure.
16:11
The failure of I think it was Crazy
16:13
Glue and what was it supposed to be
16:18
for.
16:19
They've since lost their patent guys but it
16:23
was an accidental innovation super glue.
16:27
In 1942 during the intense innovation efforts of
16:32
World War II Dr. Harry Coover embarked on
16:35
a project with a very specific goal to
16:37
develop clear plastic gun sights that could improve
16:40
the accuracy and efficiency of military weapons.
16:43
The stakes were high and every detail mattered.
16:46
However the formula Dr. Coover developed behaved in
16:49
an entirely unexpected way.
16:51
Instead of producing a transparent durable plastic the
16:54
compound stuck to everything it touched.
16:56
Gun sights which required clarity and precision were
17:00
not the intended outcome.
17:01
At first this property was seen as a
17:03
failure.
17:04
The material was simply too sticky to be
17:06
used for its original purpose.
17:08
Despite the disappointment Coover noticed something remarkable.
17:11
The same adhesive properties that had ruined his
17:14
gun sights could bond objects together incredibly fast.
17:19
Now here's something else you didn't realize.
17:21
Crazy Glue I believe it was called Crazy
17:24
Glue lost its patent.
17:28
Okay yeah Crazy Glue unfortunately a brand based
17:35
in the early 1960s lost its patent.
17:39
So it lost its patent and who took
17:42
over that glue?
17:43
If I mention the name you probably remember
17:46
Gorilla Glue right?
17:48
Probably remember Gorilla Glue but it wasn't so
17:51
long that Crazy Glue lost its patent.
17:55
Number 25 guys don't let embarrassment trap you
17:58
in a bad decision.
17:59
I've had that happen to me but what
18:01
do they can think of me?
18:02
I'll get over it but will I get
18:05
over the regret that I'd have for doing
18:08
something I really didn't want?
18:10
Embarrassment is temporary.
18:12
The consequences of a bad decision can last
18:15
a lot longer.
18:17
Don't sacrifice your future just to avoid an
18:20
uncomfortable moment or a conversation.
18:24
Number 26 correcting yourself is more valuable than
18:27
appearing perfect.
18:29
You're not perfect.
18:30
Neither am I.
18:31
Nobody is.
18:32
The goal isn't to manufacture an image of
18:34
perfection.
18:35
The goal is to become better at recognizing
18:38
problems and correcting them.
18:40
Number 27 your past doesn't deserve permanent control
18:45
over you.
18:45
Many people think it does it doesn't.
18:48
Your history is part of you but I
18:51
think that's an important piece that we don't
18:53
realize.
18:55
Okay that's an important thing to understand.
19:02
It's important.
19:06
This is important and I hope that you
19:11
can understand this all right.
19:15
You know this is important.
19:17
Number 28 change direction before consequences force you
19:21
to.
19:21
Sometimes we see the warning signs early but
19:24
ignore them.
19:25
Don't always wait until circumstances become painful enough
19:28
to force change.
19:29
Pay attention and make responsible corrections while you
19:33
still have options.
19:36
Number 29 better choices begin when you stop
19:40
defending bad ones.
19:43
Okay that's important guys um and hopefully that
19:50
means something to you.
19:52
Okay hopefully it means something to you.
19:54
Better choices begin when you stop defending the
19:57
bad ones right.
19:59
You can't fully embrace a better choice while
20:02
spending all your energy protecting the old one.
20:05
Stop asking how do I prove I was
20:07
right.
20:08
Start asking what's the best decision I can
20:10
make for myself right now.
20:14
And I know a lot of times you
20:15
know we strive for perfection okay but what
20:18
we have to do is say how can
20:19
we make this just a little better than
20:21
what it was before.
20:23
That's it.
20:25
So you can change your mind and change
20:27
what happens next.
20:28
Number 30 and that's the message I want
20:31
you to remember today.
20:32
Changing your mind changes more than just an
20:35
opinion.
20:36
Sometimes it changes your next action, your next
20:38
opportunity, your next relationship, your next project and
20:42
eventually your next direction and that can affect
20:45
um your success.
20:47
Yesterday I talked about intentions and why intentions
20:51
without action don't create results.
20:54
Today takes the conversation further because sometimes taking
20:59
action also means recognizing when an action needs
21:01
to change.
21:02
Your actions tell the truth about you but
21:06
growth doesn't mean blindly repeating the same actions
21:09
forever.
21:10
Growth means becoming more intentional about which actions
21:13
deserve to continue and which ones need to
21:17
change.
21:17
So here's your challenge for today.
21:20
Think about one decision you've been defending.
21:24
Ask yourself honestly if I were making this
21:27
decision today knowing everything I now know would
21:32
I make the same choice?
21:34
If the answer is yes great now you
21:36
have reaffirmed it thoughtfully.
21:38
But if the answer is no ask yourself
21:41
why you're still holding on to it.
21:44
Is it pride?
21:45
Is it fear embarrassment?
21:47
Is the fear of what somebody will say
21:49
to you a different kind of embarrassment?
21:51
The amount of time you already invested or
21:53
are you simply uncomfortable saying I've changed my
21:56
mind and we as people have the right
21:59
to change our mind.
22:01
Don't allow yesterday's decision to become tomorrow's obligation
22:05
simply because you're afraid to reconsider.
22:07
It's not a contract.
22:08
You didn't sign a contract.
22:10
You're allowed to learn.
22:12
You're allowed to grow.
22:15
You're allowed to discover new information along your
22:19
journey.
22:20
You're allowed to recognize that an approach isn't
22:22
working anymore and yes you're allowed to change
22:25
your mind whenever you want.
22:28
Growth isn't about proving that every version of
22:30
you was right.
22:31
It's about giving the next version of you
22:35
the opportunity to be wiser.
22:39
Like I said to you before many times
22:41
you will not go somewhere because you're doing
22:46
something a certain way.
22:47
And I think that's an important piece that
22:52
when you do something the wrong way you
22:54
change who you are and you're like I
22:58
can't change that anymore.
23:00
I think those are important things for us
23:04
to note.
23:05
It's about giving the next version of you
23:09
the opportunity to be wiser.
23:13
And I think this is something you should
23:15
want to do not because you have to
23:17
do it but because you should want to
23:19
do it.
23:20
And so your ego is going to get
23:22
in the way my friends.
23:24
You need to keep that under control.
23:26
I know the ego is going to seem
23:28
like the best choice because if you follow
23:31
it you feel like you're gonna be you
23:33
may be comfortable for the moment but that
23:36
may not be the long-term success.
23:40
It's about giving the next version of you
23:43
the opportunity to be wiser.
23:47
Ladies and gentlemen I am John C.
23:49
Morley and this has been another powerful episode
23:53
of Inspirations for Your Life.
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I thank you so much for choosing to
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spend this precious time with me today.
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And remember ladies and gentlemen changing your mind
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doesn't automatically mean you're weak.
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Other people may imply that to you or
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say you know you're not smart.
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You actually are smart.
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The fact that they're trying to manipulate you
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is unfair, is wrong, and it's dishonest.
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Sometimes it means you had the courage to
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learn, to reconsider, and choose a better direction
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in life.
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But I know a lot of us because
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of someone else saying this is saying that
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we think that's all that it's about right.
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We think that's all that it's about and
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I think that's a very important thing for
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us to understand that that's what it's all
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about.
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And if that's what it's all about then
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how do we move to the next level?
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And the way we move to the next
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level is it becomes something in our mind,
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in our brain.
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See we're making those choices right now to
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move forward or to go backward.
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They're choices that we can make every single
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day in our life.
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And so these are important things for us
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to remember right.
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You had the courage to learn so give
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yourself a pat on the back for that.
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You had the courage to say wait a
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minute this might not be right.
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How many times have you done a task,
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you're doing jobs, wait a minute this isn't
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right.
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I don't want to pass it off even
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though I probably can I don't want to
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pass it off to the client or to
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someone and say hey it was right.
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When you know in your heart that it's
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not right, that it's so far from what's
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expected, it should be a crime that you're
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actually doing this right.
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I think that's an important thing you know
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to understand and hopefully that will mean something
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to you.
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I mean hopefully but I can't tell you
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that it's just going to change for you
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overnight because it won't change overnight.
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It's going to take time for you to
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realize what it means okay.
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I want to invite all of you today
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to keep learning, very important to keep learning.
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I also want to suggest and hope you'll
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follow to keep questioning things in your life.
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Don't accept things for face value okay.
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Keep growing, never become committed or complacent to
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just be acceptable with yesterday's decision and you
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have the right in your life to change.
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And don't let yesterday's decision prevent you from
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making a better decision today because I think
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when people know they've made decisions they think
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that they don't have to change but sometimes
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we get information that allows us to want
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to change sometimes.
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But I realize that this can be hard
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for people because you might not be in
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a spot that you want to make the
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change.
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Change is never easy guys, never is it
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easy, never is it comfortable.
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This is why so many people well I
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hate change.
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Why do people hate change so much?
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Fear of the unknown right.
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They don't like the physical or the mental
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feeling they get inside them from this happening.
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I think those are probably the most important
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things I can share with you.
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When we know that change is going to
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be uncomfortable and we do it anyway that's
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earmarks of success.
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Ladies and gentlemen I am John C.
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Morley, serial entrepreneur.
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Be sure to check out believebeachieved.com from
27:53
where my amazing inspiring creations.
27:56
I also invite you to check out my
27:57
brand new show at jcmacademy.com, A Day
28:00
in the Life with John which is on
28:01
Monday and Thursday but you can watch it
28:02
whenever you like.
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I'll catch you real soon everyone.
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Be well.