Latest / Rock My Finances / Avoiding Your Finances? Here’s How to Finally Take Control
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- 0:26Speaker 1: provided as a general information as not intended to be
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- 0:39Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rock My Finances Show on k FORHD
- 0:43Speaker 2: Radio and Talk for TV, where we put the fund
- 0:46Speaker 2: in finance joint powerhouse Jeffer josp CDFA CMC and Private
- 0:52Speaker 2: Wealth Advisor as she collaborates with you to create clarity,
- 0:55Speaker 2: control and confidence with your money, your way. It's not
- 1:00Speaker 2: about the zeros, So what is it all about? Let's
- 1:03Speaker 2: find out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
- 1:09Speaker 1: Hey, y'all, welcome back to Rock My finances today is
- 1:13Speaker 1: going to be kind of fun. It might not be
- 1:15Speaker 1: for you, but it might be for your Bessie, might
- 1:17Speaker 1: be for your daughter or your son, It might be
- 1:20Speaker 1: for your neighbor. So listener today is about avoiding your finances,
- 1:25Speaker 1: and I'm actually going to share how you can take
- 1:27Speaker 1: control and why you would want to take control. So
- 1:30Speaker 1: avoiding finances looks like ignoring statements, not logging into your
- 1:35Speaker 1: bank accounts, not logging into your investment accounts, just literally
- 1:39Speaker 1: putting things off. Do you ever have that stack of
- 1:41Speaker 1: papers in the in the hallway, or on your desk,
- 1:45Speaker 1: or in the floor, on the floor in the corner,
- 1:48Speaker 1: like you just don't even want to look at it.
- 1:50Speaker 1: First of all, I want to tell you you're not alone.
- 1:52Speaker 1: I have several clients that experience this as well. And
- 1:55Speaker 1: I always have my clients who are on it and
- 1:58Speaker 1: they know what's happening, but they have a best friend
- 2:01Speaker 1: or someone in their family that avoids it. Right, the
- 2:03Speaker 1: Ostrich syndrome. I get it. I totally get it. You're
- 2:07Speaker 1: not alone. And this is so important to know that
- 2:10Speaker 1: you're not alone. You're not doing this because you're lazy.
- 2:14Speaker 1: You are not doing this because you're not smart. You're
- 2:18Speaker 1: not even doing this because you're bad with money. You're
- 2:21Speaker 1: actually doing this because you're looking at your finances and
- 2:25Speaker 1: when you do that, it doesn't feel safe bottom line.
- 2:29Speaker 1: And today, I'm going to show you how that we
- 2:32Speaker 1: can change that today and finally take control control over
- 2:35Speaker 1: our finances and not feel overwhelmed. Most people are thinking
- 2:39Speaker 1: that controlling their finances means discipline, managing every dime, budgeting
- 2:44Speaker 1: and getting everything perfectly organized, and having maybe even a
- 2:48Speaker 1: financial plan. But that's really not where it starts. Yes,
- 2:51Speaker 1: of course I'm a financial advisor. I want you all
- 2:53Speaker 1: have an amazing plan, but plans change, right, so we
- 2:57Speaker 1: have to be able to go with our float. But
- 2:59Speaker 1: it doesn't start there. We have to start with why
- 3:02Speaker 1: we're avoiding it in the first place. Avoidance isn't the problem,
- 3:07Speaker 1: it's only this symptom, So we have to look beneath that.
- 3:10Speaker 1: Why are we avoiding? And for a lot of women,
- 3:13Speaker 1: avoidance comes from fear. Fear of what you're going to see,
- 3:18Speaker 1: fear of what you're going to feel. You're even going
- 3:20Speaker 1: to feel worse than you already do by just avoiding it,
- 3:23Speaker 1: and then you don't know what you're going to do next.
- 3:26Speaker 1: So let's say we are going to look at it,
- 3:28Speaker 1: We're going to face that fear and jump in there.
- 3:30Speaker 1: But then now what Now We're stuck with all this
- 3:32Speaker 1: anxiety and all this fear, and underneath that fear can
- 3:36Speaker 1: often be shame thoughts like I should have done better,
- 3:40Speaker 1: I should have saved I shouldn't have trusted that person,
- 3:44Speaker 1: How did this happen to me? Why? Me? Why is
- 3:47Speaker 1: this always happening to me? You might have actually gone
- 3:50Speaker 1: through a divorce or a financial betrayal, You might have
- 3:54Speaker 1: some major decisions that you actually regret. The shame makes
- 3:58Speaker 1: it really hard to sit down look at your money.
- 4:00Speaker 1: So first of all, take a breath. I know I
- 4:03Speaker 1: said the word, the shame word. I know, but that's
- 4:07Speaker 1: where it starts to feel really personal. And then we
- 4:10Speaker 1: just start breathing patterns that stack on top of that.
- 4:14Speaker 1: So shame isn't just like oh I think I messed
- 4:18Speaker 1: up or I could have done better. It's actually a
- 4:21Speaker 1: full body response. Your nervous system reacts to shame as
- 4:26Speaker 1: if you are under threat, you are being attacked. Literally,
- 4:30Speaker 1: it activates everything. Your brain, your reads I'm not safe,
- 4:34Speaker 1: I'm not enough I'm not perfect, I'm not loved. I
- 4:38Speaker 1: don't deserve it. Your body shifts into bite, light or freeze. Right,
- 4:44Speaker 1: So now you have a whole body reaction. You could
- 4:47Speaker 1: feel your chest being tight, shallow breathing, not taking a
- 4:50Speaker 1: deep breath, racing thoughts. I think we can all relate
- 4:53Speaker 1: to that, should have what it coulda oh my gosh,
- 4:55Speaker 1: what I got to do? Where's my list? What do
- 4:56Speaker 1: I need to do now? How can I hide that?
- 4:59Speaker 1: You might even be hide things from your partner, your spouse,
- 5:02Speaker 1: you never know, And a lot of us get the
- 5:04Speaker 1: urge just to shut down and run away. I'm not
- 5:06Speaker 1: even looking at that. I'm shoving underneath the desk, underneath
- 5:10Speaker 1: the file. I'm not even going to look at it.
- 5:11Speaker 1: And we're going to run to something else that's going
- 5:13Speaker 1: to make us feel better, maybe overeating, over drinking, overspending,
- 5:18Speaker 1: over gossiping, over judging others. Like, there's a lot of
- 5:22Speaker 1: ways you can get out of looking at yourself.
- 5:24Speaker 2: Right.
- 5:25Speaker 1: So when this gets triggered your freeze response, shame often
- 5:30Speaker 1: doesn't create an action, It actually creates paralyzing yourself, right, paralysis.
- 5:37Speaker 1: Then we delay, avoid, and we don't even want to
- 5:40Speaker 1: deal with it. We're just going to say, we're going
- 5:41Speaker 1: to deal with it later. Our body is literally trying
- 5:44Speaker 1: to protect us, so it says, don't look at your finances.
- 5:48Speaker 1: Then it's going to create the desire to hide. So
- 5:52Speaker 1: we can't help all of this. Right, So I want
- 5:55Speaker 1: you to know that you're not alone and we're going
- 5:57Speaker 1: to fix this today. Shame's going to say, don't let
- 6:00Speaker 1: anyone see this, ooh ooh, don't tell anyone, don't share
- 6:05Speaker 1: that with anyone, don't even look at it yourself. That's
- 6:08Speaker 1: shame talking. Your body could actually literally shrink and posture posture,
- 6:14Speaker 1: your shoulders could fold in, you can shrink, you could
- 6:17Speaker 1: sloop down, your chin can go down, look away, disconnect
- 6:21Speaker 1: like it does so many different things. You're gonna You're
- 6:24Speaker 1: gonna ignore emails, ignore the news, ignore any friends that
- 6:28Speaker 1: talk about money, Ignore your relationship with anybody that you're
- 6:31Speaker 1: in money with. Right, this only increases stress, which increases
- 6:39Speaker 1: our hormones, and then that's when our cores all rises.
- 6:42Speaker 1: We get the belly pooch, We want more carbs, we
- 6:46Speaker 1: want more sugar. Our body stays in a very low
- 6:49Speaker 1: level stress continuously, like that little knot in your stomach.
- 6:54Speaker 1: We just get used to living with it. But then
- 6:56Speaker 1: we say, why am I always tired? Why do I
- 6:59Speaker 1: have brainfall? We blame it on age, We blame it
- 7:02Speaker 1: on maybe drinking the night before. We blame it on
- 7:06Speaker 1: over being overwhelmed, emotional overwhelmed. We blame it on someone else.
- 7:12Speaker 1: When I talk to that person, they drag me down,
- 7:14Speaker 1: or could even be your spouse. Right, it even makes
- 7:17Speaker 1: decision making so much harder. Then all that does is
- 7:21Speaker 1: reinforce the loop of the shame. So we go from
- 7:25Speaker 1: shame avoidance, more problems, more shame. So we're going It
- 7:30Speaker 1: becomes a cycle. Right, It's just not a feeling, but
- 7:33Speaker 1: it's a complete cycling pattern in your life. So how
- 7:35Speaker 1: do we get out of shame around money? You might
- 7:38Speaker 1: not even have thought you were in shame around money?
- 7:40Speaker 1: So what is keeping us stuck? The way out is
- 7:43Speaker 1: not pushing harder, It is not forcing yourself to be better.
- 7:49Speaker 1: The way out is creating a sense of safety. We
- 7:52Speaker 1: want to have our body relax so that it's willing
- 7:56Speaker 1: to engage again, because when your body feels safe, you
- 7:59Speaker 1: can actually take action. When it doesn't feel safe, you're
- 8:02Speaker 1: going to avoid I hope that makes sense. So the
- 8:05Speaker 1: first step is you're already doing it with me here
- 8:07Speaker 1: today on the podcast. You're becoming aware of what's happening
- 8:11Speaker 1: and why we're running. So the first one is awareness
- 8:15Speaker 1: without judgment. This is just the way our bodies are made.
- 8:19Speaker 1: So instead of saying I can't believe this, I can't
- 8:22Speaker 1: believe I did that, we're going to shift that. This
- 8:25Speaker 1: is where I'm at right now, and this is one
- 8:28Speaker 1: thing that I want to look at. You're not ignoring
- 8:32Speaker 1: the situation, You're just taking the shame out of it.
- 8:35Speaker 1: You're just saying, Okay, I can actually look at this.
- 8:38Speaker 1: So here's an exercise for you. Okay, write down the
- 8:41Speaker 1: past experiences that you feel that you might be experiencing shame,
- 8:46Speaker 1: embarrassment if you don't like the word shame, same embarrassment,
- 8:49Speaker 1: or I should have would have, could have done it better, right,
- 8:51Speaker 1: any of those experiences. So I have one personal one
- 8:54Speaker 1: for you. Of course, I actually had a manager working
- 8:58Speaker 1: for me for five years, even a condo for her
- 9:01Speaker 1: to her her family to live in that they rented
- 9:03Speaker 1: from me, and they even had daycare with my kids.
- 9:07Speaker 1: When when you know, on some off hours, trusted her completely.
- 9:11Speaker 1: She wanted to purchase my suburban. Okay, great, I was
- 9:14Speaker 1: ready to buy a Gennaling, so I was selling her
- 9:17Speaker 1: my suburban. I was on the phone one day, very busy.
- 9:20Speaker 1: I had all my staff around me. I had the
- 9:23Speaker 1: pink slip there because I knew she was coming over
- 9:24Speaker 1: to get it. She put it in front of me,
- 9:27Speaker 1: and I signed on the wrong side. I did not
- 9:29Speaker 1: sign as a lean holder on the back, as supposed
- 9:33Speaker 1: to be the lean holder in California. Anyways, I signed
- 9:36Speaker 1: on the front, releasing the pink slip to her. She
- 9:39Speaker 1: literally drove straight there to a city about an hour
- 9:42Speaker 1: away and sold it for ten grand. Was I embarrassed?
- 9:45Speaker 1: I was so embarrassed, successful business owner. You know, my
- 9:49Speaker 1: staff's all around me, and I find out that I
- 9:52Speaker 1: literally signed on the wrong side. So I did have
- 9:54Speaker 1: to see her. Took out her small claims or actually
- 9:56Speaker 1: large claim whatever that was. But I was a small
- 9:59Speaker 1: claim because ten grand right, and so took her to court.
- 10:02Speaker 1: She had to come back. She actually moved to another state,
- 10:04Speaker 1: picked up, left no notice out of my condo. So
- 10:07Speaker 1: I lost my manager, my renter, and my suburban all
- 10:11Speaker 1: within a week at each other. They like skipped down
- 10:15Speaker 1: moved out of state, so I had to see her
- 10:16Speaker 1: at that point, So she had to come back to California,
- 10:19Speaker 1: she had to appear in court, saw her in the hallway.
- 10:21Speaker 1: All of that. None of that is fun, right, It's
- 10:23Speaker 1: all confrontational. And then she followed bankruptcy and wiped out
- 10:27Speaker 1: my loan. Of course the judgment was for me. She
- 10:29Speaker 1: owed me money and she just filed bankruptcy, so I
- 10:31Speaker 1: got nothing. All embarrassed, so embarrassed. I felt so shameful.
- 10:35Speaker 1: Should have, would have, could have all these things right,
- 10:37Speaker 1: And so it took me a couple months to get
- 10:39Speaker 1: over that. Now I was already into daily practices around
- 10:43Speaker 1: forgiving myself, but it was hard to do. So the
- 10:46Speaker 1: first step is awareness. Here's your exercise. We're going to
- 10:49Speaker 1: write down some of these situations that we feel really
- 10:52Speaker 1: bad about ourselves and that we should have, could have,
- 10:55Speaker 1: would have done better. Here's a little guided release from
- 10:58Speaker 1: shame that I'm going to give you. Take a big,
- 11:00Speaker 1: slow breath in, breath out. I am here, I am safe.
- 11:05Speaker 1: I am safe in this moment. I'm noticing what I'm
- 11:09Speaker 1: feeling without judgment. I'm feeling tightening in my chest. That's
- 11:13Speaker 1: just a physiological response. Take another breath. I am forgiving
- 11:17Speaker 1: myself for what I did not know at the time,
- 11:21Speaker 1: for the mistakes that I might not have made, the
- 11:23Speaker 1: mistakes that I made, for what I could have seen
- 11:26Speaker 1: that I didn't see, for the choices that I've made
- 11:30Speaker 1: when I felt afraid and unsupported. I am releasing the past,
- 11:35Speaker 1: not for anyone else, but for me. Take a breath in.
- 11:39Speaker 1: I am learning. I am allowed to start again. I
- 11:43Speaker 1: am capable of handling this right now, and right now,
- 11:47Speaker 1: I'm willing to take one small step forward. That is
- 11:52Speaker 1: enough for right now. Take another slow, deep breath in,
- 11:56Speaker 1: slow deep breath out. I am moving forward with larity.
- 12:01Speaker 1: I am moving forward with compassion for myself. Take a
- 12:04Speaker 1: big depth, deep breath in. How does that feel? Does
- 12:08Speaker 1: that feel good? Feels good? Right? Okay, that's our first step,
- 12:12Speaker 1: noticing without judgment. Second step. The second step is to
- 12:16Speaker 1: slow our body down. Before we look at our money,
- 12:19Speaker 1: before we look at a statement, before we look at
- 12:21Speaker 1: an email. We're going to take a breath. Have you
- 12:23Speaker 1: ever used box breathing? Google that which it's sitting comfortably
- 12:28Speaker 1: in your chairs, soft and softened shoulders. We're going to
- 12:32Speaker 1: inhale to the count of four. We're going to hold
- 12:34Speaker 1: that for the count of four. We're going to exhale
- 12:37Speaker 1: to the counter four and we're going to hold that
- 12:40Speaker 1: for the count of four, and we're going to do
- 12:42Speaker 1: that several times. So do that at your own pace.
- 12:44Speaker 1: But I do that anytime I'm feeling any anxiety, fear, stress,
- 12:48Speaker 1: anything that comes on. It's amazing. Do that at your
- 12:51Speaker 1: own pace and say, as I breathe, stay quiet it
- 12:54Speaker 1: to yourself. I am safe. I'm safe to look at
- 12:57Speaker 1: my statement. I'm safe to look at my email. I'm
- 13:00Speaker 1: safe to call my advisor. I feel calm, I'm in control.
- 13:05Speaker 1: Let your body settle in, let your mind slow down,
- 13:09Speaker 1: do another box breath. Right, that's it's so much calling
- 13:14Speaker 1: to our nervous system. Third step, start small. We're not
- 13:18Speaker 1: gonna look at our entire financial life at one moment, right,
- 13:23Speaker 1: We're not doing that. We're gonna look at one thing.
- 13:25Speaker 1: First thing you're gonna all do that a money date
- 13:28Speaker 1: in your calendar every week for thirty minutes. That's the
- 13:31Speaker 1: first thing. We have to make it a priority. Now
- 13:34Speaker 1: we're gonna make it cozy and comfortable, like I make
- 13:37Speaker 1: sure that all my favorite colors are on my spreadsheets.
- 13:40Speaker 1: I might have my amazing rock and roll music. I'm
- 13:43Speaker 1: a share fan. I love it, the rock and roll train,
- 13:45Speaker 1: like all that stuff. I'll have good music on. I
- 13:48Speaker 1: have my candles lit, good lighting. Maybe even in my
- 13:52Speaker 1: comfy clothes. I use my purple pin because purple is
- 13:55Speaker 1: my favorite color. I want to make this environment for
- 13:59Speaker 1: my money date really wonderful, good feeling, low stress, calm.
- 14:05Speaker 1: You might even want meditation music on. You might even
- 14:09Speaker 1: start with a meditation for the beginning of your money
- 14:12Speaker 1: date if you're a little stressed out. We're going to
- 14:14Speaker 1: do one thing at a time. So what's the first
- 14:17Speaker 1: thing that needs to be done. I want us all
- 14:20Speaker 1: to have all of our money written down somewhere, So
- 14:23Speaker 1: we want to have a spreadsheet. I do a spreadsheet.
- 14:25Speaker 1: You could do quick books, you could do Quicken. There's
- 14:28Speaker 1: a couple of different apps out there. However, I'm just
- 14:31Speaker 1: good old you know, Google doc Goo, Google sheet, or
- 14:34Speaker 1: an Excel sheet. I just put all my accounts down,
- 14:38Speaker 1: everything that's being paid, the website for it, the ID
- 14:42Speaker 1: to log in, the encrypted password. You know, when is
- 14:45Speaker 1: it do? How much is due? If it's a credit card,
- 14:48Speaker 1: what's the interest rate, what's the balanced if you have balances,
- 14:51Speaker 1: what's the monthly rate? Any notes that you might want
- 14:55Speaker 1: to say with that. I know we have a lot
- 14:56Speaker 1: of us have zero percent credit cards. I did a
- 14:59Speaker 1: lot when I put my house last year, like my
- 15:02Speaker 1: lows and my floors, my refrigerators, all that had zero
- 15:05Speaker 1: percent financing for six months, eight months, fifteen months, whatever
- 15:09Speaker 1: it was. So I put all that in. I call
- 15:11Speaker 1: it my wealth report, my wealth sheet. That's my JJ's
- 15:15Speaker 1: wealth sheet. So I have all of that that I
- 15:18Speaker 1: can pull up at any time, and you know it's
- 15:20Speaker 1: my favorite colors, right, and then I love to check
- 15:23Speaker 1: stuff off. So what I do on my sheet is
- 15:26Speaker 1: I highlight it when I've done it, and I update
- 15:28Speaker 1: it every month or it's up to you. You want
- 15:31Speaker 1: to do weekly, you want to do monthly to get started.
- 15:33Speaker 1: But that's part of my money date, right, and look
- 15:36Speaker 1: at my wealth sheet and I love it. The bottom
- 15:38Speaker 1: of my wealth sheet, I have all my income coming in.
- 15:41Speaker 1: We got to keep track of the income. Right. You
- 15:43Speaker 1: might have a job, you might have a business, so
- 15:47Speaker 1: you might have commissions from different companies. You might it
- 15:51Speaker 1: could be child support, social security, retirement pensions, annuities, your income,
- 15:56Speaker 1: planning on your renuities, whatever it is you want that
- 15:59Speaker 1: income at the bottom well or cab two, whatever it is.
- 16:02Speaker 1: So that's like our first step, kind of compile all
- 16:04Speaker 1: that together, and you might want to start small. Just
- 16:07Speaker 1: spend thirty minutes one week, thirty minutes the next week.
- 16:10Speaker 1: Doesn't have to be anything big, Okay. Our next step
- 16:15Speaker 1: is we want to make sure that we change the
- 16:19Speaker 1: words that we're using. So instead of saying I messed up,
- 16:23Speaker 1: a better truth is I did the best I could
- 16:26Speaker 1: for what I knew at that time. So we're going
- 16:29Speaker 1: to change our languaging around. So, yes, you need a
- 16:32Speaker 1: money journal, and we need to write these things down.
- 16:36Speaker 1: When we hear ourselves saying something negative, we want to
- 16:39Speaker 1: write that down and switch it to a positive. And
- 16:41Speaker 1: we literally need to physically say the positive statement out loud,
- 16:45Speaker 1: so it's telling both sides of our brain. This is
- 16:48Speaker 1: now our new belief, this is now our new statement.
- 16:51Speaker 1: This is what we want to step into saying. So
- 16:54Speaker 1: instead of I messed up, or I was embarrassed, or
- 16:56Speaker 1: I'm so embarrassed, I should have would have, could have, right,
- 16:58Speaker 1: we want to make sure that we date all those
- 17:01Speaker 1: statements and make them into a positive statement. The more
- 17:05Speaker 1: you do this and the more you practice, I promise
- 17:08Speaker 1: you it's going to change your abundance. It's going to
- 17:10Speaker 1: change your mindset. You might even lose weight. You might
- 17:12Speaker 1: even start eating healthy, drinking less, spending less. You might
- 17:16Speaker 1: be having more joy like it's wonderful. When we start
- 17:20Speaker 1: doing these little things, we're going to mine our words right.
- 17:23Speaker 1: We're going to check that out when shame arises. Then
- 17:26Speaker 1: our fifth step is support. I actually call this second
- 17:30Speaker 1: step actually after judgment. After I realize what's happening. Without judgment,
- 17:34Speaker 1: I call in support. But we have it here is
- 17:37Speaker 1: the fifth support. Whatever feels good for you. But when
- 17:41Speaker 1: we go it alone, it's very scary. Everything's in our head.
- 17:44Speaker 1: It gets heavier. The moment that you talk to someone
- 17:48Speaker 1: else that feels safe, whether it's a professional such as me,
- 17:51Speaker 1: your money coach, your financial advisor, or even just hearing
- 17:54Speaker 1: someone explain it clearly, it loses its power. So when
- 17:59Speaker 1: I have clients come to me or pre clients, as
- 18:02Speaker 1: they say, when they're checking me out, which I have
- 18:04Speaker 1: everyone check out three different advisors. When you're ready to
- 18:06Speaker 1: switch advisors, or if you have an amazing advisor, you
- 18:10Speaker 1: love them, you want a money coach, that same thing
- 18:13Speaker 1: as well. We're going to start with telling someone the truth,
- 18:17Speaker 1: telling them how you feel. That takes the power out
- 18:20Speaker 1: of that fear. It takes the power out of that
- 18:23Speaker 1: shame and that anxiety, because the goal here is not perfection.
- 18:28Speaker 1: The goal is just to feel safe enough to look
- 18:30Speaker 1: at things. We want to be safe enough to decide
- 18:33Speaker 1: some things. We want to be safe enough to move
- 18:36Speaker 1: forward to the next best step, not the entire thing,
- 18:40Speaker 1: just what happens next. That shame starts to release when
- 18:45Speaker 1: we start doing all of these steps, the avoidance fades
- 18:49Speaker 1: like there might even be a time that you can't
- 18:50Speaker 1: wait to look at your money. And then you begin
- 18:53Speaker 1: to take control. Oh, it feels so good to take control.
- 18:57Speaker 1: I know you got some control freaks out there listening
- 18:59Speaker 1: to me, because I know I am as well. Without
- 19:03Speaker 1: forcing the control or feeling overwhelmed or our quarter's all
- 19:08Speaker 1: running our life or five year old little wounded girl
- 19:11Speaker 1: running our money world, right, we can actually take control
- 19:15Speaker 1: and it feels so good. So what did we learn today?
- 19:20Speaker 1: It's not your fault. It's absolutely not your fault when
- 19:25Speaker 1: you are trying to avoid your money. It is literally
- 19:28Speaker 1: a fear response in your body. We don't have to
- 19:31Speaker 1: go to ten years of therapy to find out what
- 19:33Speaker 1: it is. We're just going to look at a few
- 19:35Speaker 1: past experiences. We're going to write those experiences down, and
- 19:39Speaker 1: we're going to recreate the statements around those experiences instead
- 19:43Speaker 1: of I was so stupid for selling my suburban to
- 19:46Speaker 1: that gal without signing on the right side. How done
- 19:48Speaker 1: was I? I'm changing that too, Oh my gosh, I
- 19:52Speaker 1: was busy, I didn't know what I didn't know. I
- 19:55Speaker 1: was moving too fast, and I signed on the wrong side. Period.
- 20:00Speaker 1: Then I stepped into my bad assory and sued her
- 20:03Speaker 1: because she needed to take it with financial responsibility as well.
- 20:07Speaker 1: So I did close that loop on that, and I
- 20:09Speaker 1: did forgive myself. I had never sold my car like
- 20:13Speaker 1: that to someone, so I didn't know to sign as
- 20:16Speaker 1: a lean holder on the back. Totally blew that. Right
- 20:19Speaker 1: Now I know, and now I'm imparting wisdom to you,
- 20:23Speaker 1: which is why we want support. We want to be
- 20:25Speaker 1: able to share this with people. So we're going to
- 20:28Speaker 1: realize it's not our fault. Realize that we're activating a
- 20:31Speaker 1: physiological feeling in our body that is trying to keep
- 20:35Speaker 1: us safe. So you're not only fighting against your memories
- 20:39Speaker 1: and the shame that we feel, but our body is
- 20:42Speaker 1: telling us to know, don't look at that statement, don't
- 20:44Speaker 1: look at that bank account. They know to everything that
- 20:48Speaker 1: your friends ask you to do because you can't afford it.
- 20:50Speaker 1: Like there's so many times that we look at what
- 20:52Speaker 1: we really have and it's way better than we thought,
- 20:55Speaker 1: but understand that our body is fighting against it, so
- 20:59Speaker 1: we do need to take a look at it. We
- 21:01Speaker 1: want to stop that pattern. We want to do the
- 21:05Speaker 1: meditations forgive ourselves, do the box breathing. We want to
- 21:10Speaker 1: take one step at a time our money date, just
- 21:13Speaker 1: one little step at a time, maybe one account at
- 21:15Speaker 1: a time. Then we want to change our words around
- 21:19Speaker 1: the shame, and then we want to get support around this.
- 21:21Speaker 1: I hope this has been useful for y'all. Stick around.
- 21:24Speaker 1: I have another episode as well, around anxiety, financial anxiety.
- 21:29Speaker 1: I want you all to be able to walk away
- 21:31Speaker 1: from these podcasts feeling better, less shame, more abundance, more joy,
- 21:36Speaker 1: and love for yourself, because that's what it's about, right.
- 21:39Speaker 1: We've got to love ourselves first before we can truly
- 21:41Speaker 1: love our money. I want you to be able to
- 21:43Speaker 1: walk away and say I rock my Finances.
- 21:47Speaker 2: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
- 21:50Speaker 2: subscribe to to rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
- 21:53Speaker 2: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
- 21:58Speaker 2: Let's find out what Jennifer right here on K four
- 22:01Speaker 2: HD Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
- 22:05Speaker 2: It's about the F word. Feelings, feelings Jennifer can't wait
- 22:09Speaker 2: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
- 22:13Speaker 2: say I rock my Finances