Latest / You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women / 104. You’re Not Failing, You’re Leading Through Uncertainty

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104. You’re Not Failing, You’re Leading Through Uncertainty · You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women

• 0:08
  Hi, I'm Danny Tan and if you are here, you are in the right
• 0:12
  place. Welcome to the Pivot and
• 0:13
  Promotion podcast where we say forget the rules because they
• 0:16
  weren't written for us. I'm Danny Tan, I'm your host as
• 0:19
  well as career and leadership coach and a proud advocate for
• 0:22
  redefining what success and leadership looks like.
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  And here's what I know. You can lead at any level.
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  You can pivot at any age, and you can make moves that feel
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  right for you, whether you're climbing the perfect ladder,
• 0:33
  starting something completely new, or just figuring out your
• 0:35
  next step. I've got you covered with
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  strategies, stories, and straight up inspiration.
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  So let's make some moves. Hello.
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  So today we're going to talk about how you are not failing,
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  you are just leading through uncertainty.
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  And so this is for you. If you are a high performer, if
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  you are a leader, if you are somebody who is just really
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  ambitious, but you kind of just feel like you're falling behind.
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  I just want you to realize and understand that you're not
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  necessarily falling behind. You're probably and most likely
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  just leading through ambiguity and growth and the unknown and
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  that uncertainty. So let's go ahead and break it
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  down South phase one. This may hit home for you.
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  We identify with this, but what you think is failure might just
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  be uncertainty. So maybe you're not failing,
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  you're not dropping the ball, but uncertainty has just come
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  and has arisen. So what does that kind of feel
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  like? It feels like the milestones are
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  maybe murky. You're like unsure.
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  We're supposed to be hitting and targeting the metrics of like,
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  OK, did this work? Did it not are not always clear.
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  And you just kind of feel like you're in uncharted territory.
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  You're not sure where you are, where you're supposed to be.
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  So it can feel like failure because when you are either
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  growing or things are uncertain or things are evolving, the
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  uncertainty kind of can sometimes make us feel like we
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  are failing or make us feel like we're behind.
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  But in reality, it's just like that lack of clarity and
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  understanding. So this uncertainty can
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  sometimes show up as like you're overthinking, You're on the same
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  loop. You're kind of obsessing over
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  these things of like, did I not get it done?
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  Am I not doing it right? Then this self doubt starts to
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  creep in of like, am I the right person to be doing this?
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  Can I do this? Am I have the expertise and
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  experience to do this? And then you start to like hide
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  from the things that you probably are, the things you
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  need to tackle, whether that's like a visibility, whether
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  that's it's marketing, whether that's just having a plan,
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  whether that's doing that outreach, you start to hide.
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  And so this is what I say when really it may feel like failure,
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  but in truly it is probably just uncertainty that is coming up.
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  And that's when these things feel murky or unclear and they
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  start to have the self doubt creep and the overthinking come
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  in and kind of makes us creep away.
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  And so just want, you know, one of my clients, they are a
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  founder and they started to feel really stuck and like they're
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  like, I don't think my business is real.
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  I don't think my business is like really a solidified thing.
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  It kind of just feels like it's just something that I like to do
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  for fun. But it wasn't because they
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  didn't want to see a business, but it was just because they
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  felt really uncertain. They're like, I'm not hitting
• 2:59
  these goals that I have set up for myself.
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  And I said, OK, well, let's like talk about that.
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  When we started to kind of like dig in of why she felt like her
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  business wasn't real and why she wasn't able to hit these goals
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  is the bigger issue was that she didn't necessarily know what
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  direction she wanted the business to go in.
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  She had set this monthly target for herself of what she wanted
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  to hit for like revenue and sales.
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  But she never really like sat down and was like, OK, what is
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  my mission for this business? How do I want to break that down
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  in the work that I'm doing? And how is that reflecting in my
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  day-to-day of like do the things that I do day-to-day, these
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  tasks, these actions, do they actually, you know, layer up
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  into what it is that I want to do?
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  And so we just, we clarified her vision, OK?
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  And we made sure that whenever she was feeling stuck, how can
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  we give her a step by step framework of how to make faster
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  decisions to get her where she needs to go?
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  Because here's the biggest thing.
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  Once you had a better understanding of like what her
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  overall vision was and how she wanted to break that down into
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  steps by a month, then we could layer in the part of like
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  hitting civic revenue goals by a month.
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  But it's always bigger to look at what's the biggest plan that
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  you want to go ahead and hit and then break them down by quarter.
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  So you give yourself some grace every single quarter You don't
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  like, oh, I didn't hit it this month, so I'm a failure.
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  You can give yourself like 1/4, which gives you a three months
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  grace period to kind of figure out how to action and tweak.
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  And then also if she felt like she was getting like just
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  decision fatigue or just in all honesty, she was just like
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  freezing on it. How can we give her a framework
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  that's like 123 for support system, how to make a decision?
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  So that's something that we worked on too, which I usually
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  run with my clients when it comes to doing a time audit of
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  how are you using your time isn't alignment with the things
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  that you're trying to achieve? And then what would be your
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  ideal? Then how we start to edit and
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  tweak so that way every single time you have to make a
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  decision, you're actually going through a filter of how you want
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  your weeks to be shaved out based off what you want your
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  goals to do. So that was something that was
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  really helpful for her. So I would say the reflection
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  question that I have for you is what are you calling failure
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  when it's actually just a foggy phase of growth.
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  So maybe you're trying to get to that next part within your
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  project, your business, your life, and it kind of feels like
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  failure. But in reality, it's just like a
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  foggy phase where you just need to create some understanding,
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  some clarity and a plan for yourself.
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  And so the next phase that I would say is that when it comes
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  to that, you're not leading, but you're not failing, excuse me,
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  you're just leading through ambiguity or uncertainty is
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  leaders just don't always get a map.
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  Like you don't get a map, especially if you are a founder,
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  a business owner, or even just building things out for your
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  team with an organization. Leaders don't always get a map.
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  They have to build it themselves.
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  And so when you know that there is no outline, there is no
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  blueprint, there is no playbook insert word, and you have to do
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  it yourself and you're building something new or you're stepping
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  into something new. There is this immense pressure
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  to feel like you, you have to get it right.
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  And when you have this pressure on yourself, if I have to get it
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  right, it starts to block your creativity.
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  It starts to block your ability to use the part of your brain
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  that helps create strategy. And then you start to lose
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  stress in yourself because you're like, Oh my gosh, I have
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  to get it right. I have to make the perfect
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  decision, the perfect choices, pick the perfect tech, make have
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  the perfect clients, have the perfect marketing and just get
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  it all right. Because if I don't, then I'm
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  going to fail. And if I fail, it's not going to
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  work. And then what have I done?
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  And so here's the thing, you putting this pressure on
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  yourself of having to get things right or do them in a certain
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  way is blocking your ability to think creatively, blocking your
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  ability to be strategic because you're in the survival mode of
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  trying to perfect things. And then you start to lose trust
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  in yourself and your ability to do it.
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  So what's more important than anything is progress.
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  Progress is going to be much, much, much more important before
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  anything is going to be visible of what your plan or outline
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  should be. So how can you take imperfect
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  action? How can you you take messy
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  action just to create some progress for yourself?
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  So then you can start to lay out what that plan it looks like for
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  you and knowing that you're allowed to change, edit, evolve
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  any way you see fit. I had a client who was going
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  from being a manager level to a bigger executive leadership
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  role. And she kept second guessing
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  herself honestly. Like she was really, really sure
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  at her job at the manager level. She knew what to do.
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  She knew who to hire, she knew how to train.
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  But when she got to the executive level, she was like, I
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  don't know, I feel like I'm the youngest one here.
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  I feel like I'm one of the only women here.
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  I don't know if my voice is going to be heard.
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  I don't know if my ideas are going to land the same way they
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  did before. But you just started second
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  guessing herself, like left and right.
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  And it was because she didn't feel like she had a playbook or
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  a map out in front of her. So the biggest thing that we did
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  was we mapped out her priorities and clarified how does she want
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  to lead, right? That what's most important for
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  her, for her leadership and what she, how she wants to show up,
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  what are her priorities and her plans and her vision for her
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  team, for herself and for her organization.
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  And once we had those ideas and thoughts and beliefs laid out
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  and what was important to her and those priorities, we mapped
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  them out into a plan. When we mapped them out into a
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  plan, it allowed her to understand, OK, how do I engage
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  with myself? How do I check in with myself?
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  How do I engage with my direct reports and how do I check in
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  with them? And how do I show up within the
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  executive team when I'm in board meetings?
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  This was a big change for her because she didn't have a plan
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  given to her on how to do this and we don't get that when we
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  are either Co founders leaders and we're going into different
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  spaces where we had not been before.
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  We have to create some kind of outline and structure for
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  ourselves to create security in our brains which allows us to be
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  able to open up space and time and remove the pressure blocks
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  that we have for us. So we can tend be more strategic
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  and more creative answer to build trust in ourselves because
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  we have built something out for our brains to feel safe about
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  it. So the question that I would
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  have for you and this is the prompt would be what would you
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  change if you stop, you know waiting for certainty, if you
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  started waiting to get it right. So what would you change and how
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  can you get that started now? So is there something currently
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  that you are just waiting for the right answer?
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  If so, how can you take messy imperfect action to have
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  progress towards that? Now that is a question that I
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  have for you. So a thought could be if you're
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  building a business and you're super worried about marketing
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  that you don't know where to start and what is the right
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  channel for you, What can you do to take one simple step forward
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  with that right now by picking one and just experimenting to
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  see how it goes. That's the biggest thing is like
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  getting the reps and by taking the Band-Aid off and just
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  getting started. So the last piece when it comes
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  to you're not failing, you're probably just leading through
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  uncertainty and growth is you can lead with clarity, even the
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  unknown. What does that even mean?
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  So clarity doesn't mean that you have to have all the answers.
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  It means that you're making decisions based on your values,
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  your direction, and what's needed most right now.
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  I'm gonna repeat that one more time.
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  Clarity doesn't mean having all the answers.
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  It means having it means making decisions based on your values,
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  direction, and what's most needed right now.
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  So leaders can create certainty for others and for themselves by
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  showing up in their process grounded and what their values
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  are and direction that they have is a vision.
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  So progress is often it can be quiet, it can be slow, it can be
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  steady until it's not. But here's the thing, you have
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  to take those steps forward. So versus feeling like you have
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  to have all the right answers, just knowing that if you know
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  what your values and your direction is and your goals are,
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  knowing that as long as you're trying to take steps forward
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  towards that, you are going to be able to get to where you want
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  to go, even if it feels a little bit unfamiliar.
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  So I had a founder who was struggling to balance strategy
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  and execution. She kept trying to, not trying
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  to, but she kept falling into the execution piece.
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  We really needed her to lead into the strategy piece because
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  she had built out a team that could help work through this,
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  but she felt a little scattered and unsure.
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  And so the biggest thing was again, like building what is the
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  weekly structure that prioritizes the vision and the
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  direction that she wants the business to go into?
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  When she did that weekly structure, it helps her
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  understand, OK, then what are the things you should be working
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  on every single week that helps move that forward, right?
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  What are the different check insurance you can have with
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  different team members that can help move that forward?
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  And what decisions can she leave to different team members to
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  help overall move forward her values and directions?
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  So even if like the clarity doesn't feel there, like what is
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  the perfect marketing for you? Or if the clarity doesn't feel
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  there, like what is the perfect client archetype for you or the
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  clarity isn't there, what is the perfect piece of tech for you to
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  use? It's just being able to make
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  sure that you're structuring your week that has the elements
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  that can help continue to help you move and progress forward
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  towards that. And then you'll start to shoot
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  the clarity of what is looking for you versus not from a
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  marketing piece or a tech piece or a client piece.
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  But you have to get started and begin with a place of intention,
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  not reactivity. Because a lot of time we are
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  reactive about the things that we need to do and we're just
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  jumping to the fire drills and the fires that are coming up
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  every single time. And the reality is we have to be
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  like, if this is my goal, what are the intentional steps that I
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  can kind of take an experiment towards that.
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  So for you, how can you create a sense of structure or clarity
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  even when you don't know what's next?
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  How can you create some structure or clarity for
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  yourself? So for example, if you're trying
• 11:33
  to find a new, but you're not sure where you want that new job
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  to because you're trying to do a pivot or a career change, how
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  can you put structure and clarity in your life right now?
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  Could that just be by making sure every single week you're
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  dedicating one to two hours on Friday where you're researching
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  different roles or taking inventory on what your interests
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  are? If you're somebody who is
• 11:51
  building an app or building a product and you're kind of
• 11:54
  unsure of what should be next, how can you be taking some
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  building, some sense of structure or clarity for
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  yourself? Whether that is going to meet
• 12:02
  apps or groups to just make sure that you're having conversations
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  about what it takes to build an app or how to build a product.
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  These are different ways that when you are growing, you can
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  see that it's not that you are failing.
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  You're just going through a time of uncertainty and growth and
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  change. And this is how you can go ahead
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  and create some safety around it so you feel less like you are
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  failing and more so that you are making progress for it.
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  So, and I hope you found this helpful.
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  As you can tell, this is something about I do many times
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  over with my clients and that's something of interest to you.
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  You can go ahead to my website at dannytan.com, that's DANITA
• 12:33
  n.com and learn more about coaching and working together.
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  But hopefully this had a little nugget in here that you can take
• 12:39
  away to know that you are not a failure.
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  You are just leading through some uncertainty and some growth
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  right now. And there are some steps that
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  you can take to create some clarity for yourself.
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  So amazing and have a great one.