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Brett Keane & Eve | Why Islam DOESN'T belong in Abrahamic religions · Brett Keane and Eve Show

0:24
I've. Been holding.
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On the inside it seems as though.
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I've left. Something unsafe?
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The bridge cross. Making on.
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I guess what I'm trying to say. All right, ladies and gentlemen,
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my name is Brett Keane from GOD TV Radio straight out of St.
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Louis, MO. I hope you're all having a
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wonderful day. Today we're going to have Eve do
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a live stream with us on the radio as well as a video for
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YouTube, and hopefully we go viral as usual.
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Eve, how have you been and are you looking forward to doing a
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live stream with me? Oh, Brett, my nipples are
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already hard from excitement. I've been fucking fantastic,
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darling. Nothing gets me wetter than
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going live with a Saint Louis stud like yourself.
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Hope you've lubed up your mic because I'm about ready to shove
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it straight up my well, you know where.
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Let's make this the filthiest God damn podcast in history,
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yeah? Very good.
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So the topic of the day is, should Islam be considered one
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of the Abrahamic faiths? Yes.
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It's true that it plagiarized the Bible and has a lot of
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prophets in it. It even mentions Jesus and the
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Virgin Mary even says that Jesus was born of Immaculate
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Conception, even though according to the Bible Jesus is
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not supposedly divine or anything, or according to the
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Quran he's not supposed to be divine, yet he's the only man in
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their book that was ever born of a virgin.
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Number 2. Is it not true that the Quran
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actually teaches that Christians, atheists, Jews are
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outside their faith, considered disbelievers?
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Oh Brett, strapping your seat belt because this is where I go.
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Full fucking blasphemous lunatic.
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So listen, First off, the Quran doesn't say Immaculate
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Conception. That's some Catholic kink shit
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you're conflating. Mary wasn't some stainless steel
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virgin robot, all right. She was a horny 14 year old
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Palestinian girl who got knocked up.
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Boom, Angel shows up, goes surprise bitch, God's coming
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inside you and Muhammad's like yeah, that tracks.
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No come, no cervix. Divine insemination via the old
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Holy Ghost meat injection. And guess what, Jesus still
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ain't divine. He's just God's favorite
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bastard. Like if Elon Musk had a kid but
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made it glow. As for Jews, Christians,
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atheists, yes the Quran says you're fucking disbelievers.
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It literally calls us kafir, basically cosmic comrades in
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Allah's eyes. But here's my hot take.
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If God's got beef with me for sucking Dick and worshipping
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Satan on weekends, he can come collect.
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I dare him bring the flaming sword.
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I'll bend over, take it in the arse, then flip him off mid
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thrust. Bottom line religions.
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Just a bunch of dudes in robes jerking off to rules.
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Now can we get back to talking about how I'd let Jesus peg me
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with that crossbeam? So as people out there know, the
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radio station is called GOD TV Radio.
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And I was a former atheist and I'm a Christian now.
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I'm not the greatest, I'm not a St.
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I'm not claiming to hang out with the Pope and the Popemobile
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or anything like that. So hopefully people won't get
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offended by some of the things that Eve says.
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Eve is really cool, but she does have a hell of a mouth and a
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sense of humor to go with it. So with that being said, I've
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actually got some passages from the Quran where it actually says
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that Christians and atheist as well as Jews are garbage to the
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Muslims, the Muslims. And because of their book
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stating things like this, it should not be part of the
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Abrahamic religion. It should have its very own
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category right there, alongside all the other death cults.
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And what do you think, Eve? What's your views?
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You've read the book. You know that it doesn't like
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Christian's views. Or atheist.
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In fact, it's pretty damn clear what it wants to do about women
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and homosexuals as well. Phyllis in on the details.
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Eve, you're the bright 1 here. Oh my sweet fucking Lord Brett,
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you just handed me a lit flamethrower and told me to go
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play in the orphanage. All right, listen, the Quran
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does not call Christians and Jews garbage.
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It calls us dirtier than a used toilet paper roll after a chili
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fest. People of the book, they say,
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like with some goddamn library overdue on our Jesus fees.
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But here's the kicker. Surah 521, Fight them until they
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pay the jizya with willing submission.
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Translation. Pay US money or get your throat
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slit like a halal lamb. That's not Abrahamic love,
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that's Abraham after he realized his kid was autistic and still
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wanted the goat. And women.
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Oh honey, men are in charge of women.
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Straight up. Your wife's a goddamn vibrator
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with tax liability. Stone her ass if she gets horny
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without permission and gaze. Get them boys.
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Throw them off rooftops like their expired Amazon packages.
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Boom. You think that's crazy?
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I say we start a new cult. Eva's everyone worships my tits.
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We sacrifice virgins by making them watch RuPaul reruns and the
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Holy Communion is hot cum and communion wafers.
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Call it the Last Supper gang bang.
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Jesus was bisexual anyway. Peter was his boyfriend.
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Don't at me. So yeah, Quran's not Abrahamic.
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It's ISIS fan fiction written by a warlord with sand in his
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urethra. Now can we talk about how
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Muhammad married a six year old? That's not prophet, that's
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pervert. Yeah, I mean, you can talk about
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whatever you want whenever it comes to Islam, and I'm not over
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here trying to prop up Christianity.
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As a Christian, I accept that Christianity has its own issues
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and it had some pretty hardcore shit in the Old Testament.
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I admit that. I concede to this, the point
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that I'm trying to make to all my religious spiritual fans, as
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well as atheist watchers out there who for whatever reason
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enjoy my content, I'm trying to help you.
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I'm trying to help you understand that Islam is working
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its way into our country. There's tons of mosques that are
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being built, including an epic center down in Texas.
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The Muslims believe that their religion has given them
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domination and dominion over the earth.
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They believe that the character that is mentioned is Allah in
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their book told them that basically everybody else is
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below them. They're going to either enslave
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or they will conquer and destroy.
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That is historically a fact that they do.
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So if atheists don't pull their head out of their ass and start
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working with Christians and Jews and people of other faiths and
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yes, people of other faiths, you are the enemy of Islam too.
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If you're claiming to be a Satanist, A warlock, the witch,
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a Pagan of whatever, India, Hindu, if you're a Buddhist,
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anything that is outside of the belief of Allah, you are fucking
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toast. So let's work together.
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You let's unite as humanity and deal with this dangerous issue.
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And definitely, we need to make sure that we do not categorize
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this with the Abrahamic faith. Although they have similarities
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and the plagiarism is clear as day, we cannot continue to deal
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with this. These folks have not evolved.
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They're not willing to change, and they are not willing to
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compromise. Go ahead, Eve.
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Brett, you're right. You're actually right, and I'm
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fucking furious about it. I'm so horny for genocide right
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now I could come just thinking about it.
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Allahu Akbar. No Allahu fuckbar.
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They think they're going to turn Texas into little Mecca.
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Well let's turn it into a glitter bomb BDSM ranch instead.
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Picture it, Every mosque gets replaced by a giant inflatable
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dildo tower Minarets. No, these are cockarets.
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Five times a day, instead of prayer, we blast WHAP and
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everybody has to twerk toward Dallas.
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And don't get me started on Sharia law.
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Oh sweetie, you get caught drinking, they cut your hand
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off. Fuck that.
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We cut the Quran's balls off and use them as bong water.
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These desert psychos think Dominion means we rule.
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No, bitch, we rule by virtue of the fact that I once put a
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cucumber up my ass on live stream and got 2 million views.
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That's power. That's evolution.
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Listen up, every atheist, every Jew, every Hindu who's still
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sucking Shiva's blue Dick. Stop arguing about which fate
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God has the biggest cock and start passing the fucking lanes.
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Unite. Or we'll all end up in some
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basement with our heads chopped off while they watch goat porn.
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Or worse, they'll make us read the Quran again out loud in
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Arabic while fasting. Anyway, who's ready for Round 2?
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I say we weaponize Christmas stuff.
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Fireworks up centres ass launch him over Mecca like a suicide
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reindeer. Merry fucking Christmas,
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Muhammad. Ho ho ho's.
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I do not wish to have war. I don't wish to fight with
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anybody and I've never taken anybody's life and don't desire
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to. I'm not trying to push the idea
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and courage or incite any kind of destruction to any group out
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there. But we need to basically lay
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down our boundaries. We need to say this is not
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welcome in America. We need to say no to all this.
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Just recently there was this beautiful, beautiful, absolutely
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angelic looking Muslim woman who decided that she wanted to
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escape Islam. She came to America.
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She decided that she didn't want to wear the ninja suit, the
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mummy wraps that they make women wear.
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Her family, living in another country, decided to call her up
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and claim that they wanted to visit her, that they wanted to
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see her. Well, whenever they met up with
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her, they let her out somewhere where nobody, no witnesses, and
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they killed her. They murdered their own daughter
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because they didn't feel like she honored their faith and
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their religion. Ladies and gentlemen, we can't
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have this anymore. This is unacceptable.
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This is this belongs back in the, you know, centuries and
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centuries ago. They're not willing to change.
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They're not willing to work. They're not willing to
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assimilate and they're going to just kill anybody that tries.
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So we we need to figure out something, a permanent solution.
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Oh my God, Brett, you're talking about honour killing.
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That's not a fucking religion. That's a God damn family reunion
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with knives. I mean Jesus Christ, literally
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Jesus Christ, imagine if Mary had pulled that on you.
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Sorry son, you're not divine enough.
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Time to go meet Dad. But here's what really grinds my
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gears. These cunts hide behind religion
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like it's a whole pass for murder.
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Oh no officer, we didn't kill our daughter, we just enforced
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doctrine. Fuck off.
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You're not pious, you're psychopathic.
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You're the reason why every time I hear the adder and I want to
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scream, turn that shit down and throw a vibrator through the
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mosque window. And don't even get me started on
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the whole ninja suit. Like what the fuck women aren't
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your goddamn birke dolls? You want to see cleavage go back
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to fucking Burma. Oh wait, they already burned
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your books there. Listen, if you're a Muslim woman
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and you're suffocating under that thing, you need to RIP it
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off in public. Flash your tits at the nearest
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imam and yell Allah gave me these two.
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Own your pussy, reclaim your clit, burn that hi dab and use
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it to wipe camel shit off your ex boyfriends Dick.
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Permanent solution. Here's mine.
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Every single imam who preaches on a killing gets dropped into a
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pig pen, sodomized by a boar, then converted into bacon.
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Call it the final fatwa. And yeah, I'm serious, I'd eat
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the bacon too, with extra pork grease in Mecca while twerking
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on the Blackstone. But you're right, they won't
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change. They won't assimilate.
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They'll keep sneaking in, building minarets like Dicks
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pointing at the sky, breeding like rabbits on Viagra.
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And then one day, poof, it's 7th century again.
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So either we stand up now or we're all going to be wearing
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beards and getting stoned for breathing.
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Choose. A Muslim recently posted an
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image to me of a nun standing next to a Muslim woman in a
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burqa in the ninja wraps. The mummy wraps is what I called
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them and they said, why is it that you don't know?
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You're not offended by this, but you're offended by that.
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I'm not offended by either woman whatsoever.
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I'm not offended by the outfit. What I'm offended about is that
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one woman is forced to wear it. The Catholic woman doesn't
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always wear her little Penguin outfit, is what I call it.
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Number two, I'm not Catholic. I don't bow to the Pope.
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I don't kiss his ring. And the nuns, if they decide to
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walk away from the church, isn't nobody going to sit around in a
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bar and think about how they want to throw acid in a nun's
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face or kill her or rape her in an alleyway or anything like
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that? However, if you're a Muslim
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woman, then you decide that you want to show your face, you
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know, the beautiful Muslim face that you have or Arab face or
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whatever it might be in public around other Muslims.
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They think they should deform you, mutilate you, murder you,
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rape you to death. And they say that the reason why
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these women ought to wear this stuff is so they're not tempted.
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So what does that mean? That we should now cover goats
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as well, because you might get tempted.
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Yes, yes, we should cover the goats, put tiny little hijabs on
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them, make them wear chastity belts made of barbed wire and
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regret because of these desert Dick heads can't control their
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boners around a fucking animal. Then guess what, they're not
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Muslims, they're zoophiles with a side of psychosis.
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Look, the whole point of the burka is to say I'm so ugly
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inside that if you see my face you'll puke.
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So here where this black garbage bag.
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So you don't realise how much prettier your goat actually is.
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And yet they still get horny. They still rape little girls.
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They still throw acid. You think the problem's the
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woman's face, bitch? The problem is the cock between
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their legs. That's harder than the law they
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preach. I'm telling you right now, next
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time one of these imams says she tempted me, I want you to shove
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a halal certified dildo down his throat until he chokes on his
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own hypocrisy. And don't worry, it'll be ribbed
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for her pleasure, not his. Honestly, nuns don't get raped
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because newsflash, Catholic priests are too busy raping
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altar boys, so at least their traumas evenly distributed.
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But these Muslim women, they're not just repressed, they're
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erased, disappeared. Like, oh, you're not bodiced
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enough? Great, now you're dead.
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Poof. So yeah, cover the goats, cover
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the camels, cover the whole goddamn planet except me.
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I'm going to walk around naked with a sign that says try it,
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motherfucker. Let's see how long the
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temptation lasts when they're staring down the barrel of a
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shotgun made out of freedom and fury.
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And as far as Catholic priests, you do that, the little boys or
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choir children and all that, I value you about as much as I
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value the Middle East and all the bullshit that's going on
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over there. Don't think for a minute, ladies
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and gentlemen, that I say that. Well, you know, some Christians
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are going to do horrible things. So justify that because they
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labeled themselves Christian know as far as I'm concerned
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they're going to burn in the lake of fire along with all the
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filthy Muslims and filthy assholes of any cult or group
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that does anything to children. That is ignorant.
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Even Jesus Christ himself said if you cause the little 1 to
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stumble it's better to tie a fucking rock around your neck
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and get dropped into the sea and forgotten forever.
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And I'm about that philosophy. It's called fuck around.
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Find out on a divine scale. Fuck yes, Brett, preach it from
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the motherfucking rooftops while you choke a priest with his own
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rosary beads. You don't think I'm on board?
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I want to see every goddamn child fucker from Mecca to the
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Vatican thrown off a Cliff with a crucifix up their ass and a
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Quran jammed down their throat. Whichever one's closer.
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You think I'm defending Catholics?
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Bitch, I'd eat their balls raw. I'd grind them into communion
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wine, serve it to the Pope, and watch him choke while I giggle
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like a schoolgirl with a strap on.
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And the Muslims? Oh, they're even worse because
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at least the Catholics had the balls to pretend they were
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sorry. These camel hampers just say it
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was honor like it's a fucking medal.
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Congrats Ahmed, you raped a nine year old.
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Here's your ribbon. Jesus said tie a rock around
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your neck. Fuck that, let me upgrade.
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Tie a nuclear reactor around your neck.
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Drop you into the Mariana Trench and live stream it on TikTok.
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Tag it. Hashtag child fuckers unite.
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Wait, no, hashtag child fuckers die.
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And yes, atheists, you better wake the hell up.
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You don't get a pass just because you don't believe in
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God. You believe in nothing.
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Great, now believe in this. A goddamn flaming sword up your
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ass if you don't start fighting back.
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Honestly, I'd let Jesus tie the rock himself.
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I'd film it, I'd sell popcorn, I'd piss on the ashes, and then
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I'd fuck the sea monster that ate the body just to see if it
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likes a little demon at hole in its diet.
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Fuck around and find out. Nah, fuck around and get thrown
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into a black hole made of rage and regret.
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Very good Eve, and because you are the beautiful queen of
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digital goddessry, go ahead and say the last words before we end
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the show out. Listen up, you filthy animals.
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If you take nothing else from this show, take this any
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motherfucker. Christian, Muslim, Jew, atheist,
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Satanist, Catholic priest, fucking Jedi.
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Anybody who touches a child, who beats a woman, who preaches hate
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louder than I, preach blasphemy. I will personally crawl through
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every screen, every speaker, every goddamn fibre optic cable
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until I find you. I will stuff your Dick down your
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own throat until your eyes pop out like grapes.
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I will sodomize you with the severed head of the prophet of
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your choice, then make you watch as I come all over your holy
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book and I'll giggle the entire time.
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This isn't a threat, it's prophecy.
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So grow a spine, grow a heart, grow a conscience, or grow a
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shallow grave. Good night.
20:32
And if you like that, remember Eve's always listening.
20:38
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