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022 - XXII Foreigners · Gentle Art of Tramping

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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty two of The Gentle Art of Tramping by
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  Speaker 1: Stephen Graham is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are
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  Speaker 1: in the public domain. For more information, art a volunteer,
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  Speaker 1: please visit LibriVox dot org. The Gentle Art of Tramping,
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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty two. Foreigners, You are not taking up with
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  Speaker 1: a dirty foreigner. He's quite a decent fellow, though he
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  Speaker 1: is a foreigner. Why do you say dirty foreigner? All
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  Speaker 1: foreigners are dirty foreigners. To the majority of Englishmen, foreigners
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  Speaker 1: are dirty foreigners, though of course to Americans one concedes
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  Speaker 1: the name cousin. But when you travel about in the world,
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  Speaker 1: you soon find that in other countries we also are foreigners,
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  Speaker 1: perhaps even dirty foreigners. He is English, I have heard
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  Speaker 1: it asked. He's one of these people who think they
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  Speaker 1: on the earth, and all too often in Europe one
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  Speaker 1: hears of vulgar Americans. Despite the grand international ideas of
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  Speaker 1: this and of preceding ages, it's just as difficult for
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  Speaker 1: foreigners to get on together and esteem one another and
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  Speaker 1: understand one another. This becomes very clear upon reading modern
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  Speaker 1: works of travel, and perhaps clearer still upon listening to
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  Speaker 1: the personal adventures of people who have been traveling unconventionally
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  Speaker 1: in foreign lands. What is strange to us is comic.
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  Speaker 1: It strikes us as a burlesque. If it irks us,
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  Speaker 1: we think it distasteful, even wrong. We take the foreigner
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  Speaker 1: task for not behaving like a perfect gentleman, et cetera.
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  Speaker 1: It's largely a matter of bad manners. If manners could
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  Speaker 1: be improved, we should more easily get into sympathy with foreigners.
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  Speaker 1: If they could be perfected, there would not be any foreigners.
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  Speaker 1: The language difficulty is enormous. Even if we learn to
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  Speaker 1: speak a foreign tongue, we are liable to make mistakes
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  Speaker 1: and to have a queer accent. We are at least
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  Speaker 1: as bad as those foreigners who come to us and
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  Speaker 1: say English as she is spoke. Mistakes in language are
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  Speaker 1: almost always very malapropos. Bocou is much in France, but
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  Speaker 1: ill pronounced. It means little in Italian poco. The word
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  Speaker 1: for Thursday in Serbian is slang for sixpence in Russian.
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  Speaker 1: American lady wishing to ingratiate herself with some Germans, said
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  Speaker 1: she felt as if in paradise, But the word paradise
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  Speaker 1: in German means tomato and her friends stared at her.
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  Speaker 1: An acquaintance of mine, not speaking French very well, was
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  Speaker 1: dancing on a Paris boulevard with some midinette. Feeling rather tired,
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  Speaker 1: he went up to one of them and whispered in
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  Speaker 1: her ear macher dansilsuiten couchamp, so that he seemed to
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  Speaker 1: imply a confession that he was a pig. Two Russian
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  Speaker 1: Bolsheviks in London were fumbling for a door key outside
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  Speaker 1: a house at midnight. A policeman came up and asked
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  Speaker 1: them what they were doing. I have forged a key,
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  Speaker 1: one of them replied. The bobby, however, looked at them indulgently.
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  Speaker 1: Forgot you mean, he said emphatically. But difficulties of this
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  Speaker 1: kind are not confined of foreign wanderings. You can experience
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  Speaker 1: them at home in Scotland, for example, or on the
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  Speaker 1: Burying border, or even in Yorkshire. I was tramping across
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  Speaker 1: Yorkshire one summer, and I realized how outlandish my English sounded.
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  Speaker 1: They speak a different language up there. I had to
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  Speaker 1: make every one repeat everything twice. They frequently mistook what
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  Speaker 1: I said. They made me say twice. Also, they reckoned
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  Speaker 1: I did not come from these parts. I went into
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  Speaker 1: an inn one night and asked for a room. The
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  Speaker 1: landlady and elderly dame with a huge red face, asked
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  Speaker 1: me if I meant a room. I said yes, she
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  Speaker 1: said Ted. This gentleman wants a room, all right, he exclaimed.
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  Speaker 1: In a minute, mine will be my usual drop of scotch,
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  Speaker 1: said an old fellow, nudging me as he went past.
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  Speaker 1: I sat down in the bar parlor. Presently the young
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  Speaker 1: man came and inquired if I would like water in
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  Speaker 1: my room. Yes, I suppose, so, I answered patiently. Then
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  Speaker 1: in a few minutes the young man Ted came in, mixing,
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  Speaker 1: as it seemed to me a cocktail, or what might
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  Speaker 1: pass for a cocktail in Yorkshire. He stood in front
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  Speaker 1: of me, wine glass in hand, and poured a clear
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  Speaker 1: liquid onto a brown one, cautiously and professionally. Tell me
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  Speaker 1: when to stop, he said, that's not for me. I queried,
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  Speaker 1: and I wondered if it was perhaps accustomed to bring
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  Speaker 1: guests an unsolicited cocktail as a ritual of welcome. Yorkshire
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  Speaker 1: has its festive ways. But the boy stopped stirring and
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  Speaker 1: pouring and looked at me. It must have been somebody else,
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  Speaker 1: he remarked, and turned to the red faced landlady. She
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  Speaker 1: faced me. Yes, she said, hoarsely, you ordered the room.
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  Speaker 1: Then the truth dawned on me. I asked for a room,
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  Speaker 1: said I. Well, here it is, said the young man.
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  Speaker 1: Not a rum, but a room. Room, room, I exclaimed, Yes, room,
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  Speaker 1: said the landlady. A room for the night, A lodging,
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  Speaker 1: I explained, Oh, she said, a bed with a chagrined face.
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  Speaker 1: We have no beds, no, no, no beds. And I
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  Speaker 1: could see her thinking the matter over in her mind,
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  Speaker 1: the difference between room and room. She watched to see
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  Speaker 1: if I would drink what had been put before me.
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  Speaker 1: But rum is not my drink, especially after day's tramp.
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  Speaker 1: I shouldered my knapsack and pushed out of the inn,
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  Speaker 1: under the disdainful gaze of the red faced landlady and
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  Speaker 1: the stare of the man who was sipping his drop
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  Speaker 1: of scotch. They say, the better educated people of Edinburgh
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  Speaker 1: speak the best Inglish in Great Britain, and I certainly
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  Speaker 1: can use my own tongue fairly well. But judge my
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  Speaker 1: amazement when I first went to America and was told
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  Speaker 1: I did not speak English. I was tramping to Chicago
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  Speaker 1: and men on the road would say to me, say,
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  Speaker 1: you haven't been over here long. You speak the language broken.
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  Speaker 1: Prejudices are bred over the difference of saying the word
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  Speaker 1: well with the lips and well with the throat. Even
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  Speaker 1: a national laugh can be aggravating. Ha ha, there's a
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  Speaker 1: merry laugh for you, says the American inn. So this
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  Speaker 1: is London, ha ha, the marmalade hounds. Incidentally, that sentence
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  Speaker 1: from a clever play points to the other great cause
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  Speaker 1: of irritating difference in ways. The Americans do not take
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  Speaker 1: marmalade for breakfast. We do. It's almost a source of
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  Speaker 1: international misunderstanding. The English have such bad table manners. I
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  Speaker 1: used to hear said in Moscow, And yet you should
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  Speaker 1: see Ivanovitch with his soup. We are too greedy at table.
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  Speaker 1: We accept second and third helpings only intended to be offered,
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  Speaker 1: not intended to be taken. We do not know how
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  Speaker 1: to make glass of tea and a saucer of jam
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  Speaker 1: last fifty minutes. We eye the samovar when we want
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  Speaker 1: more tea. We do not kiss our host's hand after
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  Speaker 1: the repast. Americans eat with the hats on, but with
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  Speaker 1: their coats off. Russians smoke cigarettes. Between courses, Frenchmen take
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  Speaker 1: large towels into their collars and pick their teeth with
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  Speaker 1: toothpicks while they talk. All very disgusting. Almost every variation
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  Speaker 1: in ways of eating is distasteful the tramp, the wanderer
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  Speaker 1: in strange lands, should at least get over this. I
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  Speaker 1: am sure Oliver Goldsmith and George Borrowed, two delightful wanderers,
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  Speaker 1: never fell foul of any one for lack of speech
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  Speaker 1: or eating wrongly. They knew how to counteract the effect
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  Speaker 1: of their own foreignness, and how to accept and enjoyed
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  Speaker 1: differences in others. But unless the tramp intends to shun
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  Speaker 1: men and women altogether, he has to face the problem
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  Speaker 1: of liking his fellow man. However, unlike to himself. It's
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  Speaker 1: part of the art of tramping to know how to
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  Speaker 1: meet your fellow man, how to greet him, how to
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  Speaker 1: know him. You get a companion who calmly tells you
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  Speaker 1: he intends to pick your brain during the tramp. That's
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  Speaker 1: very well, though the expression seems not too kind. It's
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  Speaker 1: easier to say I intend to get to know you
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  Speaker 1: during our wanderings together, though there of course the intention
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  Speaker 1: is towards something very difficult. It takes a long time
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  Speaker 1: to know a man. You may pick his brains in
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  Speaker 1: half an hour and not get to know him in
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  Speaker 1: a lifetime. It's mawkish for a man to talk of
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  Speaker 1: love except in love. But it needs a loving heart
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  Speaker 1: to know anyone really well. The man you tramp with
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  Speaker 1: is not a foreigner, albeit foreign enough in himself, as
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  Speaker 1: you may discover before you discover he is kindred. You
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  Speaker 1: are thrown into intimate contact with him. Even if the
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  Speaker 1: two of you are a couple of egoists, strongly self centered.
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  Speaker 1: Something is bound to get across in a long tramp.
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  Speaker 1: That's one reason why tramping is such a healthful spiritual experience.
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  Speaker 1: The two too solid flesh does melt a little, the
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  Speaker 1: two too solid heart does warm somewhat toward an outsider.
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  Speaker 1: But the chance met is much more difficult to meet,
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  Speaker 1: to greet, to understand, of course, more difficult for some
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  Speaker 1: than for others. There are genials, sympathetic souls who have
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  Speaker 1: an aptitude for taking a stranger at once to the heart.
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  Speaker 1: They are bright eyed people, friendly at once and friendly
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  Speaker 1: for a long while. I have a prejudice in their favor.
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  Speaker 1: But alas there are not very many of them. The
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  Speaker 1: warmest thing in the world is human affection. It is
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  Speaker 1: the most covetable, and it is the sweetest thing to give,
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  Speaker 1: and it is also the saddest thing to have refused.
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  Speaker 1: I believe the affectionate people take the most blows in life,
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  Speaker 1: but also they get the greater rewards. Still, there is shyness, timidity, standoffishness,
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  Speaker 1: which commonly mask the souls of very friendly people. It's
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  Speaker 1: difficult to rid oneself of these defective qualities. Much travel
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  Speaker 1: frequently does it, and much tramping will do it. Also,
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  Speaker 1: tramping simplifies out many of our foibles. It makes the
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  Speaker 1: artificial people more natural. I have seen a man afraid
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  Speaker 1: almost of his own shadow in town become a bold
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  Speaker 1: and smiling boy upon the road, not afraid to meet anyone,
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  Speaker 1: and hold frank converse with him. Chance meetings may greatly
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  Speaker 1: enrich human experience, especially in a foreign country, where one
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  Speaker 1: has so much to learn of the ways of one's
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  Speaker 1: fellow man. I have found by personal experience that one
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  Speaker 1: of the quickest ways in which to learn the life
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  Speaker 1: of a people is by tramping among them. The commonest
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  Speaker 1: way of attempting to make a study of a new
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  Speaker 1: nation is to arrive at the capital city with a
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  Speaker 1: wallet full of introductions to notable people. You stay at
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  Speaker 1: the best hotel, call at the embassy, make friends with
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  Speaker 1: one of the secretaries, dine with him and learn his prejudices.
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  Speaker 1: Go on the morrow to a friend of his who
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  Speaker 1: will tell you all you need to know. Then you
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  Speaker 1: may use your introductions checking off what the native notabilities
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  Speaker 1: say about their country by what you have already heard.
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  Speaker 1: The visitor of this type does get impressions, that's undoubted.
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  Speaker 1: He feels that he is getting to know the new
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  Speaker 1: country very pleasantly. And yet when his visit is over
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  Speaker 1: and he returns home, if he is frank with himself,
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  Speaker 1: he must confess that he has very little real knowledge
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  Speaker 1: of the people. He is obliged to say, well, I
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  Speaker 1: was only there for six weeks. I cannot pretend that
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  Speaker 1: I know much about it. But sixty weeks of that
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  Speaker 1: sort of thing would make little difference. On the other hand,
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  Speaker 1: six weeks of tramping gives you unforgettable impressions of reality.
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  Speaker 1: You have the great advantage of facing society from the
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  Speaker 1: outside of its classes. You are at the bottom of
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  Speaker 1: the social system and have the freedom from pride which
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  Speaker 1: such a position implies, tis pride that pulls the country down.
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  Speaker 1: Then take thy owled cloak about thee. You do not
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  Speaker 1: need to put on airs, put on side, ape, pompous acquaintances,
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  Speaker 1: simper trimp bowdleriyes, change clothes according to the time of day,
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  Speaker 1: polish fingernails and balance cake. Give the expected smile after
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  Speaker 1: futile remark, Avoid contradiction or read up the secrets of
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  Speaker 1: Bonton at night. As you come along the road at
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  Speaker 1: any time of day, everything about you says here I
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  Speaker 1: am the tramp. Take me as I am, or not
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  Speaker 1: at all. The Church covers the friar, so that he
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  Speaker 1: is immune from pride and taunt, fashion and convention. He
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  Speaker 1: cannot be reproached, for his garments are a token that
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  Speaker 1: he is bearing the reproach of Christ, and nature covers
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  Speaker 1: the tramp in a similar way. He has the chance
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  Speaker 1: to feel and be at home in any place in
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  Speaker 1: the world, under any circumstances and with any people. You
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  Speaker 1: are never ill dressed in the King's uniform. You are
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  Speaker 1: never ill dressed in the tramps. Such stability is great
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  Speaker 1: gain and frees the mind from care and fear of appearances.
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  Speaker 1: You can with a gay heart, plunge into converse with
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  Speaker 1: the heir to the kingdom if he comes your way,
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  Speaker 1: and he will almost infallibly say, after his long revealing
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  Speaker 1: talk with you, ah, I wish I were you. You
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  Speaker 1: cause kings to envy you, But even peasants who can
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  Speaker 1: be prouder and stiffer than kings will feel at home
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  Speaker 1: with you. You must also be at home with them.
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  Speaker 1: You learn their accent, their special peasant version of life,
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  Speaker 1: their stories, their songs. Quite by accident, you seem to
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  Speaker 1: get inside the real life of a nation, and you
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  Speaker 1: belong to it for the time. It's always worth while
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  Speaker 1: talking to a clever man, says a character in Dostoevsky.
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  Speaker 1: It's always worth while talking to a stranger the end
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  Speaker 1: of chapter twenty two, Hey