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WORRY A LITTLE BIT · The Karen Kenney Show

• 0:00
  Karen Kenney: It's the Karen Kenney show. Hey, you guys,
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  welcome to the Karen Kenney show. I'm wicked excited to be
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  here with you today, and this sucker is going to be like super
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  duper duper super duper duper short, but on purpose, because
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  there's really only one thing that I really want to talk about
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  and mention, and I don't want to ramble and be redundant, and
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  this is something that I have no doubt I have mentioned on my
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  podcast before, and it's kind of inspired by a couple of
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  different conversations, one was a conversation from many years
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  ago that I had with my stepfather, and one others along
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  the way, you know with girlfriends of mine, friends of
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  mine who are incredibly strong women, but also a conversation
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  that I recently had with somebody who had a recent loss
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  and a tragic loss, and is really like in it, right, and is in
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  their grief and is struggling, like you know, which is totally
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  normal and human after somebody you love dies, and here's the,
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  here's the thing that I want to say. So, you probably already
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  saw the title of this, it's called Worry a Little, like,
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  worry a little bit, you know what I'm saying, and what I mean
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  by that is this: when you tend to be the kind of person that
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  you know handles their business, get shit done, like from the
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  outside in, like from the world looking at you, it always seems
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  like you quote unquote have your shit together. You don't reach
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  out for a lot of help, like I said, like you handle your
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  business, you get shit done, etc. But those are the people,
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  those are the people in your life that I really want to keep
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  reminding you and encouraging you to reach out to, so I
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  remember having a conversation with my stepfather. I'm not
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  going to go into it too much. You can read about it in the
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  memoir, probably when it comes out, but I remember he, you
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  know, my sister and I having a conversation with him about how
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  he never called us, or he didn't reach out, or he didn't check in
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  on us, or whatever, which is attached to a much bigger,
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  longer story and problem, but to keep it concise, and I said to
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  him, I asked some sort of a question, like, why don't you
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  call, or why don't you like check in, and he said, because I
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  don't worry about things that are going well, and my point was
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  kind of like, well, how do you know they're going well if
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  you're not checking in? And his attitude was, well, if things
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  were going bad, I'm sure I would have heard about it. And then he
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  looked at me and he said, you know, I don't worry about you.
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  He's like, I don't worry about you. And in my head I had this
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  thought, I didn't say the words out loud, but I had the thought,
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  and I carried that thought with me for a while, and then I
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  remember talking to another friend who also reiterated that
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  same sentiment to me. They looked at me, and they were kind
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  of like, "Ah, you got this, I don't worry about you, and I
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  looked at them, and I finally said the words that I had
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  thought that day with my stepfather, and I said, "Maybe
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  you should worry a little bit. I remember them looking at me
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  like, "What do you mean? And I said, "Like, I understand right
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  through all the coaching and mentoring I've done over the
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  years. Worrying never changes the outcome, right? If you have
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  a problem or something that's causing you stress or anxiety or
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  whatever, sitting around worrying about it doesn't change
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  Jack shit, but what I mean in this instance, I'm being a
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  little cheeky, right? I'm being a little fresh when I say this.
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  When I say worry a little bit, like maybe you should just worry
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  a little bit. What I'm really saying is, like, hey, check in
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  on the people that always seem like, you know, they got their
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  shit together, that they can handle their business, that they
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  don't reach out and ask for help a lot of times, even if you ask
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  them, is there anything you need? Is there anything I can
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  do? How you doing?
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  We'll probably say I'm doing great, I'm doing fine, I'm all
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  set. No, thank you, whatever. But I can't tell you how much it
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  means to us and those people like us when you do check in,
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  because it's telling us that you think about us, that you care
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  about us, that you're curious enough that you wonder, right?
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  Because a lot of times, also, when you're the person who is
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  seen as the strong one, right, the one that's always taking
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  care of things, handling things, getting shit done, doing things
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  for other people, the one that everybody comes to for advice or
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  information or money, or whatever the situation might be,
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  right? Nobody really comes to me for money because I don't have
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  any, but it's not true, you know, but you don't say, but
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  here's the thing, it's like a lot of times when you're
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  carrying that yourself and you're always handling things,
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  people don't even think to ask you, because when they're coming
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  to you, it's almost always about them. They've got something that
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  they need, they have a situation that they need support or
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  advice, or a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to hold their hand,
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  or prop them up, or build them up, and sometimes we can get
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  lost, right. Right, I'm not saying, look, I never asked her.
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  I've gotten a lot better. I've gotten a lot better at receiving
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  help, asking for help, etc. But I do think that I have been one
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  of those people that a lot of people don't worry about from
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  the time that I was young, because I was a tough, quote
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  unquote, tough kid, you know? I was a tough kid, but you guys
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  listen, those are the people that you might want to worry
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  about a little bit, and check on them a little bit, even if they
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  turn down your offer, even if they say no. I'll tell you, as
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  being one of those kinds of people, it means so much to us
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  when people just, even momentarily, like it's
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  interesting, like in my yoga class, like every week on
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  Tuesday nights, I've been teaching this yoga class
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  forever. Some of my students have been with me for over 20
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  years, and I always start the class, and I say, How you guys
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  doing? How's everybody doing? How can I be helpful? Like, what
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  do you need? You know, I serve at your pleasure, you know. And
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  every once in a while, somebody will go, and how are you doing?
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  Like, all you know, and I'm like, because when you're in the
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  role of the teacher, the mentor, the coach, the leader, the boss,
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  whatever you're almost always the one who is initiating the
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  connection, the conversation, right, whatever the
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  communication, and every once in a while it occurs to somebody
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  else to ask you, and it's a really sweet thing, and it's a
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  really nice thing, and double A men hands, if you are kind of
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  the quote unquote strong one, the plan of the doer, the fixer,
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  whatever, in your family or in your friend group, just raise
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  your hands, because you know what I'm talking about, you know
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  exactly what I'm talking about, and I can think of a lot of my
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  female friends who are the ones that get done in their family,
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  in their business, in their friend groups, in organizing
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  shit, you know, planning things, whatever, and women often play
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  that role. I'm not saying that men sometimes also, or men often
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  times don't also play this role, just depends on the dynamics.
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  But you guys, just a little love letter from my hat to yours, and
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  if you are the one that that rarely gets asked. I'm here
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  asking you right now, like, how you doing? You doing okay? You
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  hanging in there? Do you need anything? Just know that I see
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  you, and I get it, and I support you. And for those people who
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  maybe you know, you can think of at least one person in your
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  life, in your family, in your friend group, whatever, at work,
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  that is the one that handles shit and get it done, you know.
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  Just worry about them a teeny tiny bit, just a little bit. Be
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  curious enough to ask, care enough to ask, because I can
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  tell you that it makes a world of difference. Okay, that's all
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  I wanted to say.
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  Little, little PSA, little public service announcement. I
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  hope you're doing fantastic out there. I know the world
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  continues to be insane, and kind of a shit show, and 1000 things
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  that could freak us out. And just know that I'm here each
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  week, and I'm thinking of you, and I'm blasting you with love,
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  and I'm sending so much, so much wishes for you of health and
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  success and support and community and comfort and
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  strength, because we all kind of need each other right now. We
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  all need to lean on each other right now, and so now more than
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  ever, too, there's an extra burden on the people who tend to
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  hold it together and keep it together and get done. So check
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  on your people, check on your people. Okay, you guys, I love
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  you wherever you go, may you leave yourself and the animals
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  and the other people and the environment and the planet
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  better than how you found it. Wherever you go, may you and
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  your love, your presence, your energy, and your thoughtfulness,
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  right, your thoughtfulness to ask, may it be a blessing. Bye.
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  Hey, thanks so much for listening to the show. I really
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  love spending some time together. Now, if you dig the
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  show or know someone that could benefit from this episode,
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  please share it with them and help me to spread the good word
• 8:51
  and the love. And if you want to be in the know about all of my
• 8:54
  upcoming shenanigans, head on over to Karen kenney.com/sign up
• 9:00
  and join my list, it'll be wicked fun to stay in touch.
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  Bye.