Latest / DISGRACELAND / Reggie Watts: Is Reggie Watts the Guy Your Mother Warned You and/or Your Sister About?

Transcript

Reggie Watts: Is Reggie Watts the Guy Your Mother Warned You and/or Your Sister About? · DISGRACELAND

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This episode contains content that may be disturbing to some listeners.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Please check the show notes for more information. Disgraceland is
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: a production of Double Elvis. This is a story about
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: an unprecedented talent, a musician slash comedian who defies categorization.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: who has created deep affinity with comedy nerds and music
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: fans alike. A man who signals a type of charisma
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: that can be seen from space, but a man who
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: has come under fire recently for using that charisma, that talent,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and the power of celebrity that accompanies it to disastrous ends,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: and allegedly also using that power in tandem with powerful
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: drugs like ketamine, bufo, and other psychedelics and designer drugs.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: A man your mother might have warned you and or
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: your sister about. I'm talking about Reggie Watts. A man who,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: despite what you think of him or what your definition
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: of great music is, made just that. Great music. Unlike
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: that music you heard at the top of the show.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: That wasn't great music. That was a preset loop from
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: my Mellotron called New Country Ain't That Bad MK2. I
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: played you that loop because I can't afford the rights
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: to Choose in Texas by Ella Langley. And why would
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I play you that specific slice of everything's bigger in
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: Texas cheese? Could I afford it? Because that was the
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: number one song in America on March 28th, 2026. And
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: that was the day that Reggie Watts' ex-girlfriend, Catherine McCullough,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: died by suicide. setting off an investigation into the musician-slash-comedian's
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: treatment and alleged abuse. Abuse allegations that Reggie strongly denies.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: On this episode, an unprecedented talent, the power of celebrity
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: and of ketamine, the death of Catherine McCullough, allegations of abuse,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: and the man your mom may or may not have
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: warned you and your sister about, Reggie Watts. I'm Jake Brennan.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: And this is Disgraceland. I've got two sisters, and I
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: distinctly remember growing up hearing my mom warning them to
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: stay away from certain types of dudes, the dirtbags and
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: the druggies, as my mother so tenderly referred to them as.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: One of my sisters listened straight away, and the other
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: eventually did. We grew up in the 80s and 90s.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: High school was a reflection of those classic John Hughes films,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Pretty in Pink.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: A blue-collar town sidewalk puddle reflection, but a reflection nonetheless.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: The dirtbags and the druggies, the bad guys my mom
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: warned my sisters away from, they looked exactly like you'd expect.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Like Johnny Bender, not like Ferris Bueller or Ducky. Nowadays,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: we can't hold a John Hughes mirror up to the
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: world to help us sort out the wastoids and the
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: dickheads and the righteous dudes. Things are less simple, more nuanced.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: But prior to this year, if you ask someone where musician,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: comedian Reggie Watts stood on my newly patented John Hughes
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: High School Judgment Scale, if you ask them this question,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: is Reggie Watts a brain, an athlete, a basket case,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: a princess, or a criminal? Reggie Watts, the ultimate Neo-Maxi-Zoom dweeby,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: would probably place closer to the brain side of the scale.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Maybe occasionally crossing over into basket case territory, but Far
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: from criminal. And perhaps criminal, just as it was for
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Johnny Bender, is too strong of a word for Reggie Watts.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Maybe Reggie Watts is just like the rest of us.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: As Brian the Brain said, we're all bizarre. Some of
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: us are just better at hiding it, that's all. But
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: is Reggie Watts just innocently bizarre? Or is Reggie Watts
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: a wolf in sheep's clothing? A disgrace. The guy your
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: mother warned you and or your sister about. We're about
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: to find out. On March 28th, 2026, Catherine McCullough, Reggie Watts'
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: ex-girlfriend of two years, died by suicide. Catherine's friends and
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: family claimed that had she never dated Reggie Watts, she'd
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: still be alive. This was originally reported by Rolling Stone
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: magazine on August 20th, 2026. As of this writing on
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: September 7th, 2026, Reggie Watts has not directly responded to
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: this accusation, but he has spoken through his lawyer, Andrew Brettler,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: an attorney who previously represented Danny Masterson, the That 70s
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Show star turned criminal, currently serving 30 years to life
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: for two felony counts of forcible rape. Brettler also represents
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Prince Andrew, who is now just Andrew Windsor after losing
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: his royal title, over sexual abuse allegations and his association
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: with Jeffrey Epstein. Reggie Watts' attorney has stated unequivocally that
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: these claims against his client are dangerously false. And Reggie
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Watts has gone silent, his skyrocketing career in entertainment as
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: one of the most compelling absurdists since Andy Kaufman, one
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: of the most electric improv performers since Jonathan Winters, one
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: of the most innovative loop artists this side of Marc Rebillet,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: the former house band leader for the Late Late Show
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: with James Corden. His career, it's all come to a
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: screeching halt. Friends and family of Catherine McCullough are no
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: doubt unsympathetic. But what do fans of Reggie Watts think?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Is Reggie Watts who they thought he was? Or has
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: he been something else all along? To understand, we have
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: to look at how Reggie Watts became Reggie Watts. Reggie
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Watts was always a version of the oversized teddy bear
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: his friends watched climb the ranks from Scott Aukerman's underground
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: show Comedy Bang Bang on IFC to James Corden's mainstream
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Late Late Show on CBS. Reggie was born in Germany
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: to a French mother and an American Air Force surgeon.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: The family eventually settled in Great Falls, Montana, where young
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts lived out his version of a John Hughes childhood.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: A close examination of Reggie's autobiography, Great Falls, Montana, Fast Times,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Post-Punk Weirdos, and A Tale of Coming Home Again, reveals
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: that Reggie was, at some point, just like a lot
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: of teenagers, trying to find his place in the world,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and at different times, either a brain, an athlete, a
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: basket case, and even infrequently, a criminal. But most of all,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: just like John Hughes, Reggie Watts was a romantic. In
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: his memoir, Reggie explains his childhood with self-aware romance, verging
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: on fantasy. Like a lot of Gen Xers, Reggie saw
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: his life as a movie, an adventure with him cast
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: as the leading man, and with plenty of leading women
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: cast opposite him. But as Reggie saw it, his goal
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: was to subvert the toxic archetype of the chauvinistic leading
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: man and to instead be the quote-unquote sensitive James Bond.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: The James Bond who respected women. The James Bond with
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: the heart of gold. Reggie goes on to describe his
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: fantasies about how chivalrous he'd be to women once he
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: finally grew up and got the chance. Okay, this is
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: all very Ferris Bueller, but there's definitely a Johnny Bender
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: side of Reggie Watts depicted in his memoir as well.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: There's the time he and his friends stole a brick
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: of weed from someone's pickup truck, and the tales of
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: boosted cars and joyrides, of passing stolen checks off to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: unsuspecting record store clerks, of shoplifting, and even of breaking
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: and entering and stealing a large cache of guns from
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: a neighbor's home. Real dirtbag behavior, as my mom would
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: call it. And then there's the teenage wasteoid drug use, Robitussin, LSD,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: and colossal amounts of grass soundtracked by the bands whose
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: logos Ally Sheedy's Breakfast Club characters scribbled on her book cover,
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: The Cure, Bauhaus, and Ministry. These experiences and influences would
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: help inform what would become one of the most unusual
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: careers in show business. Reggie Watts broke through the underground
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: comedy scene in the mid-aughts with a style that was
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: entirely his own. He brought a hybrid musical comedy approach
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: to the stage that teamed synthesizer loops and beatboxing with
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: madcap improv. He was a punk rock Michael Winslow, a
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: grungy Ornette Coleman, a bebop Robin Williams. all competing on
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: stage for the same slice of spotlight. Gen X and
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: millennial comedy nerds were evangelized by the second coming of
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: their very own Andy Kaufman. Reggie Watts steadily rose through
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: the ranks, from Eugene Merman's East Village Comedy Night to
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: the festival circuit opening for Conan O'Brien to voicing multiple
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: characters for Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker to flying
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: private to Richard Branson's own island to perform at a
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: climate change event to taking edibles with James Corden. By
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: the time 51-year-old Reggie Watts met 36-year-old Catherine McCullough, he
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: was a full-blown star, larger than life, a six-foot teddy
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: bear who seemed to stand even taller with his epic
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: shock of frizzy hair, a man whose warmth belied his
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: celebrity status. Reggie Watts, at the time Catherine McCullough met him,
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: was a renowned Hollywood night owl, a man of the people,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: at least a man of a certain type of people,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: the types who stayed out well past last call and
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: fueled their stumble to sunrise with staggering amounts of drugs.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: Because by 2023, Reggie Watts was a full-blown ketamine addict,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: an outspoken psychedelic evangelist, and a self-described psychonaut. Okay, this
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: is the point where proponents of psychedelics and drugs in
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: general and Reggie Watts apologists get frustrated with me and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: scream into their screens, Reggie Watts isn't addicted to ketamine,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: you dumbass. Okay, maybe you're right, but Reggie Watts hasn't
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: shut the fuck up about ketamine for the past few years.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: And Catherine McCullough's family and friends... claimed that when she
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: met Reggie, she was her normal, healthy self. An ex-Cornell
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Law student who scored near perfect on her LSAT. A
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: buoyant personality whose eyes sparkled and windowed the mind of
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: an independent young woman whose bright future was still very
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: much in front of her. They say all that began
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: to decay when Catherine developed a previously inconceivable ketamine addiction
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: during her relationship with Reggie Watts. Reggie Watts' attorney claims
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: that by the time Catherine met Reggie, she was already
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: experienced with drugs and that Ms. McCullough did not need
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: any quote-unquote encouragement from Reggie Watts. But Catherine's friends and
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: family believe the opposite. They claim that Watts pressured Catherine
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: and promoted drug use as a tool for intimacy. One
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: of Catherine's friends who spoke to Rolling Stone anonymously stated
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: that Catherine wouldn't have fried her brain without the encouragement
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: of her boyfriend, who regularly promoted psychedelics and other designer drugs,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: again in an effort to achieve intimacy in their relationship.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Catherine's sister, Colleen McCullough, put it simply, I feel very
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: strongly that the sister that I knew before this relationship
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: would still be here if she had never met him.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts' attorney, Andrew Brettler, said in a statement that
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: to suggest that his client was responsible for the suicide
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: of Catherine McCullough is again dangerously false and a preconceived narrative.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: But it's a narrative that's easy to understand when you
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: consider everything Reggie Watts said about psychedelics and ketamine over
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: the past few years. It's a microphone like any other.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: Just like the thousands you've seen before. Except this one
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: isn't set up on stage. It's on your desk in
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: your office. However, this doesn't make the mic any less
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: of an instrument or any less of a tool or
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: a weapon. Because you're Reggie Watts and if there's one
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: thing you know, it's how to work a mic. It's
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: the early 2020s, post-COVID. All the world is an improv
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: stage and Now you don't even have to leave your
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: house to climb up onto it and entertain millions. You
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: can do so in your crusty jammies on Zoom in
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: conversation with B-list celebrities over the internet and wax poetic
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: on any subject under the sun. And no surprise, you're
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts, so you're really, really good at this. Soon,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the podcasters themselves will become celebrities and COVID will end
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: and you'll bring your charisma and all the smart things
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: you have to say about all the smart things your
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: smart podcast listening fans want to listen to you talk
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: about into new podcast studios and lay your rap down
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: in front of real cameras for fans of Joe Rogan,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Mark Maron, Rainn Wilson, Conan O'Brien, and others. And in
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: these interviews, just like you do with print journalists, sooner
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: or later, you'll turn the conversation toward your favorite subject, drugs.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Not in a juvenile Cheech and Chong kind of way,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: but in a more Vox-approved, I'm-here-to-explain-this-to-all-you-kiddos kind of way. It's
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: psychedelic pseudo-intellectualism, the type of rap that says, I grew
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: up reading Hunter S. Thompson. But it's also the type
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: of rap Hunter S. Thompson would have hated, because you're
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: clearly in love with the sound of your own voice
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: when you hear it extolling your love of narcotics, and
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: it's just a touch too Johnny Harris drugstore guinea pig
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: than it is Matt Dillon, drugstore cowboy. About ketamine, you say,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I love it. I think it's one of my favorite
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: drugs ever. On falling into a K-hole, ketamine's version of
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: a bad trip, you say, I like going into a
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: K-hole because that's an incredible experience. You tell GQ that
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: ketamine is one of your top five things of 2023.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: You tell Joe Rogan that Ketamine just puts you immediately
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: in a spot where you're no longer emotionally connected to
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: your observational self, and that the drug helps you move
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: closer to your goal of full ego death. Shit like
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: this makes you sound, to the right people anyway, really smart.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: Until you go on Rainn Wilson's podcast and you spread disinformation,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: which is ironic because you once had a comedy special
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: entitled Disinformation. When Rain pushes back on your positive claims
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: about ketamine by referencing actor Matthew Perry's addiction to the drug,
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: you're quick to say, whatever he died of, it wasn't ketamine.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: It was like it was a drug addiction, and he
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: also had heart problems. There was a confluence. But that's
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: just an addict's rationalization. In this case, your own addict rationalization.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Matthew Perry quite literally died of the quote, acute effects
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: of ketamine with drowning as a contributing factor. But none
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: of that matters, because you're Reggie Watts, and shit, man,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: if half of us were as evolved as you are,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: if we were all just as curious and smart and
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: open to drugs and the deaths of our egos and
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: new James Bond leading man archetypes that put women first, well, damn,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: wouldn't life just be a little more special? Wouldn't we
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: all just be a little better off? All of us, perhaps.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: Except for Catherine McCullough. Catherine McCullough fell hard for Reggie Watts.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Or maybe fell is the wrong verb. Catherine sank. Sank
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: down into a relationship that existed on a lower plane
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: than the frequency her life normally vibrated on. Catherine was
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: one of those women who walked into a room and
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: sucked away all the attention. She was tall, beautiful, buzzing
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: with wit. She was serious about her future career in law,
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: passionate about art, film, comedy, and music, and outspoken about
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: her passions with the kind of confidence afforded to someone
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: who knows exactly what they like. For Catherine, drugs were
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: merely a passing social interest, sneaking away from the party
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: for a bump in the bathroom with friends. smoking grass,
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: experimenting with ecstasy at a rave or whatever, and yes,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: even trying ketamine. But compared to her new boyfriend's drug
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: experience and daily drug use, Catherine was putting up rookie numbers. This,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: according to friends of Catherine's, was a constant area of
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: tension between the two. Reggie Watts treated ketamine as medicine
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: for the couple. The key to unlocking whatever psychosolution was
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: necessary to move him and Catherine beyond their mental blocks,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: to detach from the weight of their egos, to help
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: evolve into the people that the universe intended them to be.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Evolution was the goal, and so drugs, ketamine mainly, and
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: at times other designer drugs and psychedelics, were rungs on
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: the ladder to transcend into higher consciousness. If this all
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: sounds woo-woo, it's because it is. Reggie Watts believed this,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: and Catherine McCullough, who prior to meeting Reggie Watts was,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: as her friends described, the least woo-woo, fully bought into
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: this rap because she viewed Reggie Watts as someone who
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: was special. His career, his success, his personality, the way
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: he spoke, the way people listened to him, the light
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: that he brought into every room, all that charisma. Why
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: wouldn't Reggie Watts have special knowledge? Catherine was hooked. She
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: invested everything she had into their relationship. She sidelined her career.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: She devoted her time and energy into Reggie's when The
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Late Late Show was canceled. The pair made plans to
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: produce a new comedy special. Catherine self-funded one of Reggie's
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: web series and helped Reggie on the road, accompanying him
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: to shows and to festival dates. Catherine also accompanied Reggie
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: on his spiritual quest, which meant Catherine McCullough did a
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: lot of drugs alongside Reggie Watts. A Cornell friend of
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Catherine said that with Reggie, Catherine used LSD, MDMA, DMT, MMCs, cocaine, Ritalin, Adderall, ketamine, Xanax, Valium,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: and Modifinil. And that Reggie, quote, really took her to
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: the edge. But unlike Reggie Watts, Catherine McCullough was no psychonaut.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: When it came to drugs, her constitution was not as
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: solid as her more experienced boyfriend's. Still, Catherine's friends say
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Reggie continuously pushed her to keep up with him in
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: an effort to achieve greater connection in their relationship and
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: that Catherine came to believe that she could only fully
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: access the intimate side of her partner through their shared
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: drug experience. Catherine's Cornell friend also said that Reggie was
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: constantly pushing her boundaries and trying to convince her that
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: she should be taking the same dose as him or
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: at least a heavier dose than what she thought she wanted.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: So that's what she did. And that's when the K-holes
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: started to swallow her up. What's a K-hole, you ask? Well,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: according to the research I've done in the Arrowhead Archive,
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: according to the many first-hand depictions I've read detailing subjective
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: psychoactive experiences, a K-hole is something like this. The K-hole
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: stretches out before you. An endless geometric tunnel. This is
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: what you bargained for. A new experience. But you want detachment.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Right now, you're fully in your head. A different room,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: but nonetheless still contained by the familiar. Then, the blackness
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: of the tunnel engulfs you. You're anchored by the weight
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: of it all. Infinity. And then, that feeling you get.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: when the roller coaster lurches to life for the first time.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: You feel yourself skip ahead and stop, but you feel
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: yourself differently than ever before. You're now experiencing yourself from
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: beyond yourself and that feeling you just had of something
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: about to happen. It was like the excitement you get
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: when something good is about to happen for someone else,
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: but that feeling is now accompanied, not overcome, not replaced,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: accompanied by by intense isolation, loneliness. When was the last
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: time you felt two competing feelings at the exact same time? Never.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: It's clear to you now. You are somewhere else, and
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: the ride is about to start, and then you're off.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: The blackness that surrounds you is now paced with parallel
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: white lines. They race alongside you and you're speeding away
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: from something faster than you've ever felt or seen anything
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: move before. And all you can think is you're racing
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: away from yourself. That's when the terror hits. What have
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: you done? Death. This is it. You're gone. You're no more.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: The fear you feel isn't in your stomach. It's in
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: the stomach that used to be yours. And it's not
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: that familiar feeling of fear. The one you had back
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: when you were alive. The kind of fear that sank
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: like a pin. This fear is buoyant, unsettled, alive. It's
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: its own monster. It scratches at the inside of what
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: was you. You experience the pain as a phantom sensation,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: like a lost limb. You see the emptiness expanding as
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: you race toward nothing grows faster. Still, the white lines
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: hurtling by you are multiplying, stacking onto one another. You
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: wonder if what you're witnessing is the scaffolding of the universe.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: If that's true, then does this answer the question? Is
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: this death? Is death, just like life, all movement? But
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: instead of moving closer to yourself, toward a better understanding
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: of yourself, toward the best version of yourself, you know,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: you know you're moving in the opposite direction, away from yourself.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Are you now just a soul? Is your body no more?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Is your life lost? What have you done? What will
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: happen to the people you left behind, the people you love,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: the people who love you? Suddenly, you're lucid. You understand
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: exactly who you are and what you did to get here.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: What you did. The voices appear in legions. They whisper
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: and then they scream. This is your fault. Just like
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: everything else, you'll never love the way God intended. Because
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: you are no more. If detachment was the goal, then
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: mission fucking accomplished. Goodbye, cruel world. Hello, self-obliteration. Outside of yourself,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: you watch what was you tangle through time. It's an
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: endless loop. Time is measured in proportion to the weight
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: you no longer distribute, which is metric tons, not mere seconds.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: You're watching a movie that never ends, and the main character, you,
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: is no longer what you once were. How did this happen?
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: You were so beautiful, so full of life, and now
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: here in this place, you're transposed into a knotted ball
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: of interconnected nerves. There are no endings, just more endless loops.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Gone are your curves and imperfections. What made you you?
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: You've been replaced by an amorphous ball of rubber-banded anxiety
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: hurtling through time and space. The only benefit now is
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: that in this place, here, outside of yourself, you can
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: see yourself plainly for what you are. And that's got
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: to count for something, right? That's what he would think.
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: Knowing yourself, that knowledge. Well, you wonder what happened to you.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: And the regret hits you like an amyl nitrate shock
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: to the heart. You feel the world in your throat,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: which is a good thing because now you can feel
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: your throat. And then you heave, and the roller coaster
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: you started this trip on wrenches up from your stomach,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: through your esophagus, and out of your mouth and into
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: the toilet as you pass out on the cold bathroom floor.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: When you wake up, back in your body, you're alive,
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: but you'll never be the same. Catherine McCullough, by her
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: own account, as recalled in writings from the Recovered Notes
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: app on her iPhone, Cahold extremely hard many times during
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: her relationship with Reggie Watts. When her father died in 2025,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: a life event that her life partner, Reggie Watts, mostly
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: left her alone to contend with, reportedly telling her, I
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: don't do grief anymore. This event sent Catherine and Reggie
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: searching for something else to help with the grief. The
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: couple decided to take Bufo, an extremely intense psychedelic. Reggie Watts'
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: attorney claims Catherine initiated and organized the Bufo trip. Through
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: his attorney, Reggie Watts claims he did not witness any
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: of what is alleged by Catherine McCullough's loved ones to
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: have happened next. After taking Bufo, they claim that Catherine
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: experienced unshakable side effects, weeks of nightmares, panic attacks, anxiety,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: and intense depression. Post-Bufo, Catherine McCullough entered a state of
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: near constant mania, crafting bizarre social media posts, firing off
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: odd texts to friends, and beginning work on what she
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: was calling a working, complete, unified theory of infinite, eternal love.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: It was around this time of grief and mania that
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: the object of Catherine's apparently infinite love, Reggie Watts, decided
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: to break up with her. We'll be right back after
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: this word, word, word. As a fan of music, of comedy,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: as someone who follows the world of entertainment, as someone
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: conscious of culture and the people who shape it, as
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: someone hyper aware of the moment we're living in right now.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: When I think about Reggie Watts, it's difficult to understand
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: just who this guy is and what he's really like.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know him. I've never met him. I have
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: a vague recollection of being at a party or an
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: event once and knowing that he was there. But beyond that,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: I've had no interaction with him. But I do know people.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: who have. People who have worked with him. People who
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: have socialized with him. People who are close with people
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: who are close with him. Not surprisingly, they paint a
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: different picture of Reggie Watts than the one Reggie Watts
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: paints of himself. Now, I say this is not surprising
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: because almost every celebrity on the planet does this. What
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: they reveal to the public is often an exaggerated and
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: sanitized version of who they really are. And this shouldn't
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: come as a shock to anyone. It's human nature to
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: want the public to only see the good side of you.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: We all do it to some degree, but most of
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: us aren't famous. Reggie Watts is, and he's an entertainer.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: Even in his autobiography, he's entertaining us. Sure, he's vulnerable
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: at times, and yeah, he's revealing, but every word of
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: it is written with the primary intent of getting us
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: to turn the page, to keep reading, to stay interested
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: in Reggie Watts. So when he paints this fantasy version
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: of himself, when he says things like he wanted to
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: be a kind of James Bond who respected women, or
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: that At an early age, he had fallen in love
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: with the idea of being the perfect boyfriend, of being
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: trapped by his fantasies, and that he had this idea
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: of himself giving presents and how he loved being romantic,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: constantly coming up with new ways to prove his devotion.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: And then, in the next breath, explaining his promiscuity about
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: meeting new fascinating women each night, well, you can't help
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: but feel the ick because his entire spiel is couched
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: in the subtext of i love women and i'll never
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: settle on just one because i'm just too damn special
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: but hey man it's cool because i'm reggie watts and
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: i respect women i've read bust and ms magazine articles
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: or i've at least glanced at the headlines on instagram
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: my take on reggie watts is this If the series
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Portlandia was going to create a character who was your
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: dream of the 90s is alive neighborhood Lothario, someone comfortable
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: in conversation with Candace and Tony at Women and Women First,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: someone who instinctively understood when to perfectly time Nina's safe word,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: someone who Portlanders knew was a major stick man around town,
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: yet accepted his behavior because of his thoroughly modern views
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: on monogamy, polygamy, and feminism, views he expertly articulated within
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: the lexicon of bullshitty voxism, someone whose charm was abundant,
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: whose look was not only unique, but the opposite of
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: what you'd expect from your local player, well, if I
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: was writing this character for Portlandia, Reggie Watts would be
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: the perfect inspiration to base him on. But the question remains,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: is Reggie Watts the dude your mother warned you and
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: or your sister about? In the spring of 2025, after
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: being involved with Reggie Watts romantically for over a year,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Catherine McCullough was well aware of her addiction to drugs.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: She reportedly told her sister, Colleen McCullough, I think I
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: have an addiction problem. Colleen claims Catherine was reluctant to
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: tell Reggie Watts about her problem, confiding in her sister that,
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: I've got to prepare for it because he's not going
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: to like it. During the same period, a friend of Catherine's,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: Brylin May, told Rolling Stone that he noticed an extreme
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: personality change and the chiseling away and erosion of her independence.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: Brylin says that with Catherine, he tried the tough love approach,
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: but that he could not break the spell he, Reggie,
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: had over her. And other friends and family members had
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: started at this point to believe that when it came
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: to Catherine McCullough and Reggie Watts' relationship, there were aspects
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: that were abusive. Recovered writing from Catherine's Notes app from
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: this time says the following. My partner is not totally
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: supportive of me resting or abstaining from drugs. I feel
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: his judgment slash resistance when I abstain or barely partake
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: or want to do more research before partaking because it
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: confronts him with a message about his own drug use
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: that he is not ready to receive yet. She notes,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: there are absolutely things I could do to improve this
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: by asserting stronger boundaries and but I also need his
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: support and understanding. And on a 2025 trip to Berlin,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: Catherine McCullough would most definitely need Reggie Watts' support and understanding.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: During the summer of 2025, while Catherine McCullough was dealing
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: with the negative effects of her Bufo trip, extreme anxiety, depression,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: and being in an on-again, off-again panic state, she accompanied
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts on a trip to Europe. While in Berlin,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: Catherine's mania took hold of her. According to a visiting
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: friend who spoke anonymously to Rolling Stone under the name Dakota,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Catherine was acting erratic, manic, and appeared to be in
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: need of medical help. Throughout it all, Catherine continued partying
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: alongside Reggie and their friends. Reggie Watts claims he took
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Catherine to a doctor. Rolling Stone reported that three people
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: claimed Reggie seemed desperate to rid himself of McCullough amid
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: this incident. What is beyond dispute is what happened next.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts and Catherine McCullough, because of the episode she
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: was having, departed Europe for Los Angeles. When they landed
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: at LAX, Catherine was hardly able to walk. She was
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: in a bad way. She soiled herself. and her friends
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: took her immediately to the hospital. Reggie Watts did not
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: accompany his struggling girlfriend. Instead, he went home to catch
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: up on some sleep. This does not sound like the
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: perfect boyfriend. Not by a long shot. Nor does it
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: sound like Reggie's fantasy of himself, of proving his devotion.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: It sounds like a nightmare narcissist boyfriend whose chief concern
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: was himself. After the incident at LAX and the manic
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: state she'd endured in Berlin and on the plane, Catherine
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: was treated at the hospital overnight and sent home. That's
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: when the nightmare began for real. Catherine, according to friends,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: felt like Reggie couldn't get rid of her fast enough.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: And while she dealt with her anxiety and the lingering
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: effects from her bufo trip, Reggie continued to party. It
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: was while Catherine McCullough was in this fragile mental state
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: that Reggie Watts ended their relationship. The fantasy of the
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: perfect boyfriend was now officially dead. Without Reggie, Catherine felt
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: she had nothing. She'd invested her whole life into him.
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: She worked for him, lived with him, adored him, accompanied
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: him on his drug-fueled explorations. accepted his philosophy on life,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: on death, on just about everything, and now all of
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: it had been ripped away from her. The loss was
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: beyond anything Catherine had felt before. It was like a
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: part of her foundational self had been removed, like some
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: sort of ego appendectomy. Not only was Catherine contending with
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: the loss of who she thought was the love of
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: her life, she was also fighting the dread and regret
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: that she felt over her cavalier drug use. explaining to
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: a friend that she was afraid she'd altered her brain
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: in an irreparable way. She rationalized her decisions by telling
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: friends that she, quote, really trusted the people she was around.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: Catherine's writing from this period reveals exactly how Catherine felt.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I was in a relationship with a brilliant, handsome, sensitive, romantic, hilarious,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: insanely talented and fun partner that ended, because I had
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: a drug-induced manic episode. It made him lose his romantic
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: and sexual attraction to me to see me in that state.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Our relationship was dream-level romantic, and we loved being together
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: all the time. Catherine McCullough wrote that post on an
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: online suicide forum. The dimming love light in Catherine's life
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: was blackened by the darkness masquerading as support on the
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: suicide forum. So-called goodbye threads on this website where vulnerable
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: people like Catherine narrated their last days, where community members
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: assisted others with step-by-step instructions on how to kill oneself.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: All of it beamed off of Catherine's screen. There were
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: spirited conversations on methods, guns, gas, offers for meetups, guides
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: who would fly away with you IRL and help you
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: catch the bus with a partner. There were heart and
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: thumbs up emojis posted in support of forum members' final decisions.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: One word exclamations of praise for those who followed through, legend, hero, brave,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: and the constant discussion around the sodium nitrate method and
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: the pain-free exit it provided if done just right. The
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: conversation about the failure of therapy, the drugs that didn't work,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: the drugs that worked too well, loved ones lost and
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: lost love, and how life without them couldn't compete. Catherine
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: took it all in. And she posted on the forum,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: doing really fun and stimulating things literally every day with
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: other incredible artists, sleeping in as late as I wanted,
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: sharing a beautiful home, not worrying about money for the
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: first time in my life, being spoiled with whatever I wanted.
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: His life is absolutely incredible and sharing it with him
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: was bliss, magic, unbelievable, beyond my wildest dreams. I can't
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: get over the stupid way I lost him and I
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: can't stand my life now compared to what it was
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: with him. I also can't stand knowing I will never
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: be remotely close to that happy again and knowing I
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: will never love someone nearly as much as him because
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: he is so the total package and singular. I think
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: about him and memories of our life together literally every
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: waking moment and sometimes in my dreams too. Catherine McCullough
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: then connected with a German man on the forums. and
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: they made plans to meet in real life. She got
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: on a plane, met the German man in Lima, and
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: then sent a text to Reggie Watts about the afterlife
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: and was gone. Catherine McCullough's body was discovered by Peruvian
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: authorities on March 28, 2026. She died by suicide. The
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: note she left said the following, To everyone, this hurts.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry that my peace came at your expense. I
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: hope you can forgive me. I hope it helps you
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: to know that the way I went was as peaceful
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: as possible. I know it's so selfish and losery to
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: quit because drugs gave me a mental illness that took
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: away the people in the life I loved. But I'm
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: tired and it hurts, and I can't trust that things
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: get better. I believe that consciousness is an ocean containing
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: everything and that the individual corporeal self is only a
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: wave temporarily rising from it. I've returned to the ocean,
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: but I believe we bring our memories back with us.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Because of this, I will never forget or stop loving you. Understandably,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: Catherine's family and friends were devastated by this news. Whatever
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts' reaction was, Devastated is not the word anyone
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: would use to describe how he presented himself in the
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: aftermath of his recent ex-girlfriend's death. Spring, 2026. News of
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Catherine McCullough Reggie Watts' ex-girlfriend's death has broken out. In
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: this aftermath, Reggie lies in his bed, staring up at
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: his phone and talking to his nearly half a million
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: followers on Instagram. He wants them to know that he's okay,
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: and Reggie is grateful for the support he's felt from friends,
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: and he's letting everyone know that he's okay and that
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: there's so much love pouring in from everybody and that
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: it's incredible to feel that love. Reggie preempts his critics.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: He tells them, He's playing gigs because it feels good
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: and he's carrying Catherine's energy. It's good to know that
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: she's with him, he says. Reggie points to the drop
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: earring dangling from his right ear. He's proud to point
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: out that the earring is a gift from Catherine. He
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: casually mentions with a mischievous grin that the jewelry is
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: based on mycelium spores, the reproductive cells that produce psychedelic mushrooms.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: And Reggie has heard from people who have heard from
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: other people, people on the other side. From psychics, he explains,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: who have heard from Catherine since she caught the bus.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: And don't worry, Reg, she's all right. So Reggie wants
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: everyone watching not to worry about him again because he's okay.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: He loves himself, he says. Actually, what he literally says
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: is that he really loves himself and that he has
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: a really great relationship with himself and that this is
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: what's getting him through the death of his ex-girlfriend. He
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: describes Catherine's death with words like elegant and intentional and beautiful.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: He provides details about Catherine's death to his followers, details
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: that Catherine's family were not aware of. Details Reggie culled
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: from Catherine's devices. Details her grieving family would have appreciated
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: knowing before the public heard about them. But that didn't
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: occur to Reggie Watts. Neither did the tone deafness on
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: display in this post at the time it was shared,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: which is likely why the post has since been deleted.
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: But there's another post that remains, and it's equally tone-deaf,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: though it presents a different side of Reggie Watts. Less
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: grieving woo-woo teddy bear, and more of the drugged-out creative
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: Nighthawk lurking under the sympathetic surface. A different stage in
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: the seven ketamine stages of grief. You know, denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance,
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: and k-holing on an Instagram Live. The post is titled,
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Catherine vibes and features the appropriate heart emoji to really
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: reinforce the love Reggie feels. He begins the live with
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: an off-the-cuff version of Fats Domino's Blueberry Hill, you know,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: where he found his thrills, low-key stick man that he is,
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: and then he slides off screen and this is when
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: two distinct snorts can be heard. God, what could he
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: be doing, we're left to ask. He's so edgy. Back
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: on screen, The teddy bear eyes sag with the weight
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: of a neglected pharmaceutical recycling bin. He's lit only by
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: the glow of his laptop. The song he performs is Jagged,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: an electronic vamp for Catherine. Catherine vibes. Before Reggie signs off,
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: he asks his followers to send all their love to Catherine.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: And he reminds them that we're all here to entertain
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: one another and not to fall for what he calls
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: the hard traps. That they're not there, man. They're just hard.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know what Reggie Watts means when he uses
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: the phrase hard traps, but I can only imagine that
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: it's post-Freudian psychonaut Cahill speak for the things in life
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: that are difficult. Like sacrifice. For the ones you love.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: For the ones who are going through it. putting others first,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: not being entirely centered on one's self. By the way,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: we're not here primarily to entertain one another. We're here
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: to love one another. This is an important distinction for
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: a narcissist. The type of person who believes everything, even
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: the death of a loved one, is about them. When
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: there is nothing in the world that can be more
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: personal than the choice someone else makes to end their
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: own life. it is most certainly not about anybody other
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: than the person committing the final act. Since the story
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: about Reggie Watts and Catherine McCullough broke, the word abuse
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: has been thrown around quite a bit as a result
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: of the allegations from Catherine's family. They stated that had
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Catherine never met Reggie, that had Reggie not pushed his
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: views on psychedelics and designer drugs onto Catherine, as they allege,
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: that Catherine would still be alive. Again, an allegation that
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts' attorney, Andrew Brettler, calls dangerously false and a
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: preconceived narrative. Going on to say that by the time
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Catherine McCullough met Reggie Watts, she was an experienced drug
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: user who did not need any encouragement from Reggie Watts.
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts' attorney has stated that Reggie was never aware
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: of Catherine being suicidal and that not once during that
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: period did Catherine or any of her family members or
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: friends ever suggest to Reggie that she was suicidal. Narcissistic
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: behavior manifests in different ways. Five women, all exes of
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts, detailed to Rolling Stone behavior that fell far
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: short of Reggie Watts' fantasy of being suicidal. the perfect boyfriend.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: One of the exes claimed that Reggie surreptitiously filmed a
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: video of them having sex without her consent, that he
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: made her feel small, love-bombed her, iced her out, and
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: repeatedly tore down her self-esteem until she finally broke up
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: with him. Another ex claimed that Reggie had sex with
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: her without a condom while knowing he had an STD.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Reggie's lawyer says that this claim about the reckless transmission
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: of an STD by his client is false. Other exes
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: of Reggie Watts claimed that he prompted them to indulge
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: in substances and ultimately prioritized his needs over theirs in
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: a way that chipped away at their self-confidence. One ex-girlfriend
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: calling herself Anna, who dated Reggie back in 2018, said
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: that he's not who he projects himself to be publicly
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: and that, I've seen many people hurt or mishandled in
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: their relationship with him. Because of this alleged abuse, Reggie
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: Watts has lost festival gigs, he's had club gigs canceled,
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: and his theme song for the beloved Comedy Bang Bang
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: podcast has been replaced. But the word abuse is tricky.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: Is Reggie Watts in any legal trouble for allegedly abusing
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: his ex-girlfriend for his alleged treatment of Catherine McCullough? It
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: doesn't appear so, and I doubt very much that either
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: he or his lawyer believe that they are in any
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: legal peril. With his cancelled gigs over alleged abuse, Reggie
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: Watts is now facing a less direct form of justice,
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: which is is ironic considering that narcissists often have an
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: indirect way in which they abuse their victims. Narcissists are
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: often funny, charming, magnetic. When they shine their light onto you,
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: it can feel like the power of a thousand suns
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: or at least the power of a beloved B-list celebrity.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: But when the narcissist takes that shine away, when they
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: ice you out, you're left freezing on what feels like
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: the dark side of the moon. Earlier in this episode,
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: I tried looking at Reggie Watts through the lens of
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: John Hughes characters to better understand him. Is Reggie Watts
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: the archetypical Johnny Bender bad guy or a Ferris Bueller
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: good guy? I'm not sure he's either. Maybe we shouldn't
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: look to John Hughes for this answer, but to another
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: iconic 80s storyteller, Brett Easton Ellis and his less than
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: zero character, Julian, played by Robert Downey Jr. Julian isn't
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: entirely a bad guy or a good guy. He's funny,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: he's charming, he's magnetic. But ultimately, he's narcissistic and destructive.
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: Reggie Watts feels more like a Julian than a Johnny
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: or a Ferris. And sure, my mom's old school, so
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: she'd probably call Julian a druggie, maybe even a dirtbag.
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: Definitely someone she'd tell my sisters to steer clear of.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: But what do you think? After what you've heard in
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: this episode is Reggie Watts like Julian, the guy your
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: mother warned you and or your sister about. I leave
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: you with this. On top of everything Reggie Watts is
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: accused of by Catherine McCullough's family and friends and all
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: that he has denied, one thing he hasn't disputed is
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: that after Catherine died in Peru... Her loved ones started
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: a GoFundMe to raise the $ 20, 000 they needed to cover
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: the cost of bringing her body back to America. Reggie
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: Watts did not donate to the fund. He never even
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: shared the link with his followers. No matter what Reggie
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: Watts is or isn't, that, without a doubt, is a disgrace.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: I'm Jake Brennan, and this is Disgraceland. All right, guys,
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: thanks for checking out this episode on Reggie Watts. What
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: do you think of Reggie Watts? Do you blame him
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: for the death of Catherine McCullough, as has been alleged
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: by his family and friends? That's a heavy allegation. What
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: do you think? I want to know. Is Reggie Watts,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: in your eyes, the dude that your mom would have
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: warned you and or your sister about? Let me know. 617-906-6638.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Voicemail and text 617. Want to hear what you think
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: of this episode at DisgracelandPod on the socials, DisgracelandPod at gmail.com.
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: Disgraceland was created by yours truly and is produced in
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: partnership with Double Elvis, the Exactly Right Network, and iHeart Podcasts.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: credits for this episode can be found on the show
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: notes page at disgracelandpod.com if you're listening as a disgraceland
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: all access member thank you for supporting the show we
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: really appreciate it and if not you can become a
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: member right now by going to disgracelandpod.com membership Members can
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: listen to every episode of Disgraceland ad-free. Rate and review
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: the show and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, and
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: Facebook at DisgracelandPod and on YouTube at youtube.com slash at DisgracelandPod. Rock-a-rola.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: He's a bad, bad man.