Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / The Silent Killer: Why Pancakes and Food Addiction Are Just as Deadly as Drugs and Alcohol
Transcript
- peter AI: Welcome to Voice of the Voiceless, the podcast where your story matter joined Pete and Maddie as they explore the story of this week's Voice of the Voiceless art. Let's find out. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Welcome to another exciting episode of Voice of the Voices. I'm Pete, Maddie Salada Kids. And we have a very special guest today. Please meet Yuvett. Yvette, how are you doing? Maddie Andrews: Hey everyone! Yvette: Hi, everyone. I'm doing amazing. So happy to be here. Pete "Da Common Denominator": So, Yvette, tell everybody a little more about yourself. I know you were telling us before we got c recording that you had your own podcast before. I know you got a book we're gonna definitely talk about. So why don't you tell everybody a little more about yourself? Yvette: So my name is Yvette. ⁓ I was a former stripper and I got out of the shackles of addiction, which was horrible. And that's what my book is about. It's called Booze Blow and Pancakes. And it's breaking free from the shackles of addiction because booze and blow sometimes are very apparent on someone, but pancakes, which was my food addiction and my bulimia, had me had me from the ages of sixteen to forty seven. So that's people are like, what's the pancakes all about? I'm like, the pancakes is the silent killer, the food addiction. And so I struggled through that my whole life with these addictions. And I'm come on to the other side. And I just want to let anyone who's out there alone, like I felt so alone and struggling in silence to know that there's hope. And if I can do it, like the the lowest of the low, homeless stripper, come out and you know, come out and be a mom and have a business and Be fit and do things for other people that anyone out there can do it too. Pete "Da Common Denominator": That's awesome. That's great. ⁓ so the book, okay. So I I love the name. Let's just get off the right at the bat. I love the name of that book. It's great. ⁓ the the fact that you you said a lot of the proceeds go to suicide awareness. I love that. 100% love that. It's it's great to hear that someone's out there fighting for these guys because you know the statistics are just insane with that stuff. But you know, from ⁓ went from stripper to where you're now, which is not really not a weird story for me because I had somebody that was a dominatrix that went to a life coach. So, you know, like I I've heard some interesting stories along the way, you know what I'm saying though? But you know, so like how how did you break your addiction? I know that's a t that's gotta be a tough one though. Especially that. Getting into that area with that kind of stuff, it it had to be rough, huh? Yvette: My venture. Yeah. I think I think the hardest addiction for me was definitely the drugs, because drugs get you high quick and it and it comes down quick, right? The high is quick, the down is real rock bottom quick. Alcohol, you can be a functioning alcoholic for a long time. For me, when I was doing the the clubs and stuff, I blew a hole through my nose. So that was the bottom line for me. So I did my cocaine stint and when it was over, it was over because I'm vain and I knew that my nose would collapse. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm. Business. Yvette: But that's when the alcohol took over full force. And people think like, How can alcohol take you down? Alcohol can take you down to your knees. you know, I always thought every every ⁓ rock bottom was a floor lower, you know. And I always tell people you can get off on the fifth floor, you don't have to get the on the parking or the basement because that's where I was. but I think alcohol for me was much harder than than the drugs. The drugs I had to quit, because if not, I was, you know. I I was like so vain that I thought if my nose collapses, I can't do it. But the alcohol, you know, I said I would never drink in the morning, I would never buy alcohol at home. At the end, I was waiting for the liquor store to open because I couldn't function w with the you know, the DTs. Yeah. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, yeah, that's that's I mean it it's rough, man. Alcohol is a tough one to beat, especially, you know, a lot of people that get into it don't make it out. So I'm I hats off to you for making it out though. ⁓ I mean i especially when it comes to addiction though, people like just hearing those three words. Well I was a stripper, I was chasing some drugs and I was drinking. I guarantee people gave you a strange look the minute you told them. Yvette: Yeah. My God, all my clients, because I'm a trainer now and I'm a life coach. And I own a gym for for women for personal training. And they're like, you should write a book. And I'm like, booze blowing pancakes. If I ever write the book, it's gonna be booze blowing pancakes. And and everybody would be like, but what is the pancakes? But honestly, out of all the addictions, sticking your head in a toilet where people take a shit, you can't get any lower than that. And that's what it brought me to my knees. And at the end of my addiction with with Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Yvette: Bulimia, which was from the age of 14 when I was anorexic to the age of 47 when I was finally done. mean, I can't even believe I'm still here. I used to throw up like eight, nine, 10 times a day, go teach fitness classes, and then go to the bar. And that was my routine for a long time. But I'm telling you, God is good. ⁓ saved me. I believe in God, fitness, and a 12-step program that I'm really involved in that saved my life and I'm really active in. Pete "Da Common Denominator": That's awesome though. I mean, that's really great to hear that that you got out, especially being bulimic for that long. That's that's kind of a crazy amount of time though. You know, especially that, you know, you that's such wide range, you know, but look at you now. You got a book, your personal trainer, your life coach, look at you go, man. You've you've done a lot since then. Yvette: Yeah. Wanna know what? I I wanna share this because it it what, the bulimia? Maddie Andrews: Did that long term Was there a long term like side effect of having bulimia that long on your body? Yvette: Yes, I lost my hair, my hair, my teeth, my esophagus. So what happened was I I I got sober, right? I started a family and I adopted a child and the kids were at school and I was when everyone was at school and my husband was at work, that was like my party time. ⁓ I threw up and I was over the toilet bowl and that little boxing bag in the back of your throat, like I literally couldn't swallow. And I'm like, this is the day I've gotten a free ride for so long. This is the day I'm dying. And then all of a sudden I could swallow. And I just had like an awakening moment at that time that if I don't stop, I'm gonna die. And I always had this gut whisper: go to Tony Robbins, go to unleash the power within. There's something that called me, God called me to this event. And Tony Robbins, I went, he did this hypnosis with 15,000 people. What will happen if you continue your behavior a year from now? And I swear to God, Maddie, 15,000 souls screaming and crying. And if you continue for two years, and if you continue for three years, and I just saw my kids like at my grave crying, saying, Mom, it didn't have to be this way. And I came back from that event and I didn't do it again. Maddie Andrews: Kudos to you, that's powerful. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Well, yeah, definitely. No, I agree. One hundred percent. Kudos, man. Maddie Andrews: That takes that takes a lot of so much willpower to have a an addiction that spans that long. And I mean, if we're being really honest about it, food addictions are so hard to beat because food is everywhere. And in our media, they portray women's bodies a certain way. And women can to have to look the certain way. So there's a lot of pressure in society. And then on every corner is a fast food joint. And when you want to go eat healthy, it's more expensive. So Eating disorders are very prevalent, but they're not talked about and it's not just women, men have them too. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm-hmm. Yvette: ⁓ my God, so many. So many men, wrestlers, so many women, men that have their their, especially their sport, you know, affiliated with their weight. It's crazy. And so many women suffer in silence because sometimes it's not just bulimia, it's binge eating disorder, you know, hiding food, then restricting food, then starting a new diet. And it's it's all the mental prison that goes into all of that. All of that. I want to be thinner. I can't be thinner. I need to be thinner. And the circle. Maddie Andrews: Even Was me. I would hide food. I would my psychiatric medications made me have this like insane appetite. So like I wouldn't eat in alone in public. I didn't like to eat in public at all. I would go from like store to store and stash food. I had it hidden under chips and candy under my pillow at night. When I was in public, I would try to eat healthy foods. And I got to 420 pounds. And then it turned into the reverse where No sugar, no carbs, exercise six hours a day, and I dropped all this weight, and now I'm on a a lifestyle journey, a a lifestyle, fruits, vegetables, proteins, lean proteins, trying to get my metabolism restarted because what really happened is with my binge eating, with and then I would go into starvation, I wouldn't eat at all. My metabolism is shot. So I'm ⁓ then the medication I take doesn't help at all. So ⁓ There are diff like like I appreciate you saying that because there are different types of eating disorders and it's it's very difficult to overcome. Yvette: Very difficult. And I I applaud you, Matt, because so many women suffer in silence. What you said, so many women will be able to identify with, but they never say. And what I always say, there's secrets keep you sick. You know, you can never get better if you're holding on to secrets because you have to take the power out of those secrets and share it with another and ask for help. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, no, I agree. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. I recently joined a ⁓ like a I have a coach, a wellness coach, and they help me monitor my food and they're helping me, giving me natural supplements to make my metabolism start to restart. and it's nice to have that accountability piece for someone like me who was a secret eater. like I wouldn't tell my husband, like I remember I had had I went out for lunch, my husband said, Hey, you want to have lunch together? And I didn't want to tell him I had already eaten, so I went and had a whole nother meal even though I wasn't hungry. ⁓ Yvette: Yeah. Maddie Andrews: So, you know, overcoming but food is everywhere. It's so hard to overcome. Yvette: Yeah. And it's like drugs and alcohol you can quit, but you have to manage food. It's like here, just have a half a line of cocaine. Have you know, half a drink. It's really hard to do, but that's what we have to do with food, you know? Like I tell people, it's not the hardest addiction because you don't stop it, you manage it. You know? Thank you for sharing that, Matt. Maddie Andrews: Ha ha ha. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It is difficult. Well, thank you for sharing yours. I've definitely had my moments where I ate so much that I was throwing up. And so I just want to shout out to all the people out there who are who are struggling with any type of eating disorder, whether it be anorexia, bulimia, binge, whatever it may be. You're not alone in this. And your body is beautiful just the way you are. You know, we're not meant to look like Yvette: Yep. Maddie Andrews: some poster we're meant to look like who we're supposed to be and it's about being healthy, really. Like I go to the gym, I have a personal trainer. I'm not losing weight and boosting my metabolism to be a model. I'm doing it so I don't die at fifty. Yvette: Right. That's amazing. And that's that's what people need to hear more about. Cause if especially our young girls and boys that are looking on social media, you know, everything is I need to have a 24-inch waist, a 36-inch booty, you know, 36-inch boot. Like it's it's ridiculous. We're not built like this. You know, that is store bought. Those those bodies are store bought, but the 15-year-old mind doesn't know that. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, true. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Yvette: So Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Yeah. The internet's a scary place, especially for the young minds of the things they're seeing. These girls that are putting on these false imageries of ⁓ well, I have to look like a certain way for boys to notice me, or I have to be Cindy Crawford like sty you know what I mean? It's it's not really what it's like though. I mean, like most people these days, you know, healthy looks different for everybody, you know, like Maddie, me different things would look different for us, you know what I mean? Like, you know, you can look like some of those individuals, but it takes time to get there. I think that's what people think. They want the mid. Yvette: Yeah. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Miracle Care, ⁓ it's gonna fix my problem overnight. Well, this that doesn't exist, unfortunately. Takes time. These guys that you see, all these guys that are look in great shape, they they'll tell you it took them a while to get there. They had a lot of conditioning and things like that, you know. And I'm always watching these videos. I can't think what the guy's name now. Zach something on Instagram. I watch he always goes out these practical meals that for people. He's like, listen, just because it's in a can doesn't mean it has to be an enemy kind of thing. Like he's he's not demonizing anything. And he goes out and he's like shows you that you can make these like healthy meals. He's like, you know, and you don't have to spend a fortune on him. It's like, this is how much I paid. This is how many meals I'm gonna make with it. You know, I like those kind of videos because it's like, ⁓ sweet, cause I can meal prep ahead of time for me. And you know, then everybody goes, Well, you know, it takes time. Yeah, it takes time, but then your whole week's already set up for you. That way you don't have an excuse. Because, you know, that's the problem. Everybody wants everything now and and all the fast food and all that. God, dude, if you all really looked at your labels, like you'd you'd see some of the stuff that's in them, it'd blow your mind. Like you can't pronounce half the things that are in these foods these days. Yvette: Yeah. Actually just did a video about ⁓ Maddie Andrews: I appreciate your book. Yvette: Sorry, what? Maddie Andrews: Go ahead. Go ahead. Yvette: No, I was actually just saying I did a video on, you know, systems, the systems that are required to be fit, the system that's required to maintain my sobriety, the system that's required to have a business. Because I think, like you said, Pete, everybody wants that microwave version. And without a system, you're just starting over on Monday, every Monday, every new week, the new shiny, the new shiny diet, the new shiny business I'm gonna open, the new shiny speaking engagement. I'm gonna be a life coach. I'm gonna be the but you have to stick with it long enough. So Pete "Da Common Denominator": Hmm. Yvette: I know for me, like to maintain my sobriety, I have to go to three recovery meetings a week. I have to help another alcoholic. I have to read. I have to do my prayers. I have to do journal. That's a system to maintain what I've achieved. Same thing with my food addiction. I have a system so that what I repeat is who I become. And I think that a lot of people just want that quick. They see it on Instagram and they're like, ⁓ I'm going to buy that. And it's really about the system that you can. The process of doing it дай ін, дай ок. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, yeah, definitely. It's what it is. A lot of people see that and then, you know, I like those guys that come out and just tell you the real deal. They're not lying to you, they're just not feeding you crap, just just telling you like it is, you know. A lot of these guys I think they need to understand that, you know, it takes time to get to these places, these systems in place, you know, and then it becomes second nature. It's not even a system anymore 'cause you're just used to doing it and you go autopilot, you know, and and things like that too. And I think that's the hardest part for a lot of people is that, you know. They don't know what to do in situations where they have to adapt on a on a dime. They're like, ⁓ well, you know, woe is me. And you know, I like I I always look at those people, I always say, ⁓ everything's going bad from okay. So then like what are you doing differently that you're doing now? You know what I'm saying? Like, what are you changing to make the outcome different? You know, because some of that stuff you can. If you literally analyze some of it, you know, your bad health, it's because you need to eat better. Start looking at the foods you're eating. Like you don't have to make super big changes. A lot of times it's just moderation of a lot of things. And a lot of people can't even do that because it's just hard. Because that's what they're meant to do these days, they addict you to a lot of these stuff and they're like, ⁓ well, now we got you hooked. Here you go. Let's keep feeding you crap. Because no one no one looks at the labels. They really don't. Like if most people read some of these stuff and looked at what's in these products, you know, and things like that too, you know, it they they start to realize like what the better understand their nutrition. And I think that that's where the education system fails. A lot of these kids is not teaching them like Hey, what to look for in certain things. Like this is what healthy eating would look like. You know, give an idea. You know, what kind of ingredients and things you can look at. Cause a lot of that, you know, it's it's shoveling all these sodas and these candies and all this other like you can have that stuff still. Don't get us wrong. You can still have it. It's cool. But you like don't don't don't demonize yourself about it. Cause a lot of people do that too. They'll start giving themselves hell about it. ⁓ I had an ice cream today. Okay, you had eight ice cream. All right, that's cool. What did you do the rest of the week? You know, what did the rest of your week look like? You know what I'm saying? Yvette: Yeah, it's the all or nothing. I think that's that's what everything, you know. I had one fucking ice cream, so forget it. The whole weekend's gone and then the whole week, you know, and then you gain three pals and then you're starting over. But I love the question that you said, Pete. What are you doing differently? I think that's the number one question for anybody who's stuck that wants to change. What are you going to do differently? Cause anybody can change where they are right now, whether it's food, drugs, or alcohol, but it's gonna require change. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yvette: And change requires effort and I think that's the hardest part that people people gotta grasp that's yeah. Pete "Da Common Denominator": That's exactly what it is. Exactly what it is. Maddie Andrews: I I love I love to celebrate people in recovery, no matter whether it's mental health, substance use, eating disorders. have a nonprofit and ⁓ we're big on lived experience. We share recovery stories on our website. We are peer support specialists, yada yada, yada. And just lost my train of thought. ⁓ This is perfect. ⁓ we love lived experience. How was your mental health improved? Pete "Da Common Denominator": Me too. Maddie Andrews: by from going from hiding these drugs and alcohol and eating to now being vocal and sharing your lived experiences like was it a freeing feeling to be able to be open, to write a book, to share with others, to inspire? Yvette: Absolutely. It was definitely the most freeing thing I ever did was to recover out loud. Because even though I'm in an anonymous program, if you don't, if you today nobody can be anonymous. And the world isn't set up the way it was in the 1930s when they writ wrote the big book. But ⁓ I recover out loud because someone will say, ⁓ you you you're sober? Like, wow, how many years do have sober? I got 23 years. You know, my son is struggling. Do you know, like, do you know where he could? And right away, ⁓ give him my number. I'll give him someone he can talk to. Because when you recover out loud, you let other people know that there's hope. You know, so that's that's the number one thing. And the thing that was really the most, yeah. And I think the thing that is most freeing for me is about, you know, I think that in life we need to have three things. We need human connection, right? We need to be around other people. Maddie Andrews: I love that. Yvette: And I think in when your mental health sucks, you want to isolate. And that's the exact that's what pulls you into addiction. So I think human connection is key. I think to have something that you feel good about yourself, about like self-esteemable actions that give you confidence, like going to the gym, going to a meeting, doing something that's helping yourself, and also having a purpose. Like my purpose is to help someone who's suffering. That's what I'm on this earth to do. God gave me a second chance. And that's my purpose. And I think when you have a purpose, you have human connection and you feel fulfilled like with what you guys are doing on your podcast, that takes you to another level of freedom. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, definitely. Maddie Andrews: We have a lot in common. We really do. So I have my favorite quote that I have on plaster all over my house and stuff is healing out loud because I nearly died in silence because I live with ⁓ pretty serious mental illness. And it almost killed me multiple times. sometimes by suicidal actions and sometimes by doctor negligence where I was in the ICU for three weeks learning how to walk, talk, swallow, and breathe with a brain injury. So ⁓ I was so silent about who I am and the way I was born for so many years. And all that did was teach me to shove all this pain and this trauma down deeper and deeper and be embarrassed and have guilt about the way I was born. But today it is so freeing, like you're saying, and such the opposite. Hey, my name is Maddie. I live with schizoaffected bipolar type, PTSD, OCD, and anxiety. And there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it makes me a superhero because I can overcome every extra obstacles every single day while battling my mental illness. And now I can help other people do the same. So I love what you say about recovery out loud because I do the exact same thing. And I think it's one of the most important things someone can do once they're secure in their recovery. Yvette: Absolutely. I love what you just said. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, no, I agree. Yvette: Do you ha do you do you recover out loud also, Pete, or just Maddie? Maddie Andrews: Ha ha ha. Pete "Da Common Denominator": No, I just support people that recover from that. I I had a close friend that he ⁓ he had been through it a long time, and he got out. He had twenty two years clean and every time he posts something, I always hype it up for anybody. And I always I have this Facebook thing I follow that has a bunch of people that go into sobriety. And anytime you see it I celebrate it like you're just you just won the World Series type thing, you know, like I hype it up for people 'cause I know how hard it is. I'm like I've I've sit there and watch a lot of this stuff because I've always wanna know more. So I spent some time on that side just to learn about some of these other people and what they deal with and some of the struggles they go with and and and things like that. Cause you know, mental health and addiction are hand in hand. A lot of people medicate, self-medicate to to try and fix the problem and it really doesn't work for the end of the day. You know what I'm saying? Like it but I try to celebrate it all because I I like you know what I mean? Like it's hard for people. Like, you know, like you hear stories of these people that go to this shit and then the people give them a hard time. It's like Yvette: Yeah. Maddie Andrews: I did. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Bro, let's look at the fact that what they came through to where they're now. You're too worried about where they used to be, not where they're now. Like where they're now, they're doing a lot better, they're what different, they're not on that shit anymore. How about celebrate the fact that they kicked that stuff? You know, why worry about how they used to be? That's not the same person you're talking to, you know? And and a lot of times you hear that though. It's like, you know, and like when Maddie starts sharing her story, like the things people were saying is just like so disgusting. It's just like, what the hell's wrong with y'all, dude? Like she's out here telling you about what she deals with. Like for her to tell you some of these things, like y you know, you guys should not be sitting here giving her hell about it. But you know, we ⁓ we all know how the internet is. It's a dangerous place to share things on, so Maddie Andrews: Well, I appreciate that Yevetta is like so open and all she said, Hey, I I used to be a stripper and I used to do things like that as well when I was manic and using substances way in my twenties. But it's like, do I talk about it? Do I not talk about it? And I'm just now getting the confidence in myself to say, Hey, yeah, you know, I did a lot of sketchy things, but I was also very manic and very ill. I was also high on drugs. Yvette: Absolutely. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm-hmm. Maddie Andrews: And I was also very young trying to understand what was going on with me. And I lived with a lot of guilt and shame about it for many years. So it's inspiring to see people like you who can be so open and even write a book about it, sharing where you've been and where you've come and looking at it as a as a thing to be celebrated and not a thing to be shamed about because shame comes so often with these things. Yvette: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I really love what you said, Maddie. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, you know, I I got another friend, she runs in No, go ahead, Yvette. Sorry. Yvette: No, I really love what you said about self-medicating because in that period of my life, I've been to like seven rehabs, you know, all in and out of psych wards. And I was bipolar, I was manic, I was this, I was that, I was on Wellbutin, Prozac, Effects or all of it. And you know what? No one had ever told me, get rid of alcohol. Because alcohol was the fire that was the gasoline to the fire that I didn't know. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Yvette: But I was w as soon as I removed alcohol and drugs, I wasn't manic anymore. Yes, you I you need medication if you need medication. But some of the most that some of the most obvious things we don't know because we are so used to living with them. Like I couldn't imagine my life without drugs or alcohol. But once I did remove them, the mania stopped. I could actually listen to a like follow through and read a page of a book. And things that I could never do before started to happen. And I do believe 100% in medication. If you need it, a hundred percent. But a lot of times, a lot of the things that I was on, I did not need to be on. It was just removing the alcohol and drugs. Maddie Andrews: Why did they I think that goes back to our broken system, right? Like this happened to me too. Like in my 20s, they were just like med after med after med after med, max, max, max, max, max. And all I did was destroy my body. And I was still so very sick. But what I wasn't looking at was the holistic care, the lifestyle change that comes along with something like this. No drugs, no alcohol, exercise, adequate sleep, sunlight, coping skills, ⁓ Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm. Maddie Andrews: ⁓ all of these other tools in your toolbox that are so necessary, it's ⁓ have to take medication the rest of my life, but that it's not the only thing I have to do. I have to create a lifestyle around it. Yvette: Absolutely. What were you gonna say, Pete? Pete "Da Common Denominator": I was gonna say though, I have a friend that does an addiction podcast that's out of Canada that she was a she was actually a call girl. So like when y'all are talking about like sharing stories and things, she's always like wanted to tell us some other things, but she can never say it. Like Maddie's like, you know, I thought about saying some stories, but I wasn't sure if it was okay. Like she won't tell us those stories. Like maybe in private she would tell me them, but you know, she she made it made me think of that moment when we were me and her were interviewing together. We were talking about that. But you know, it's Maddie Andrews: Ha ha ha. Pete "Da Common Denominator": It it's so powerful though that you came out and just you know, you're telling people openly about the thing because everyone frowns upon, you know, people that are strippers and things like it's like, dude, at the end of the day, like make your money where you make your money. I don't care what the hell you're doing in your free time. That's not my business, you know. I hats off for you being so sober for so long though, because it man, like you you were battling two things at once on top of the eating disorder, you know, so you the the the the mental state you had to be in was just completely gone. Yvette: Yeah. Yeah, you know, they I they would put me in a rehab for like anorexia or bulimia, and then I would be doing drinking and drugging at the place. And then they would put me in a place for drugs and alcohol, and I'd be binging at the cafeteria because there was nothing comprehensive that would do all three. So I would deal with one, but then the other one. So it's just like I don't know. There's something wrong with our mental health system because so many women I know struggle with eating disorders and Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Yes. Yvette: with drugs and alcohol and they just go to rehab. Rehab and then they go out and they're throwing up again. Then they're tired of throwing up so they go back to drinking so they don't have to think about throwing up. And then the circle continues. Maddie Andrews: Yes. Yes, say it again. Our system is so broken. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Exactly. I was gonna say the same thing. You said it right on the head. It is. There's something completely wrong with it. It's it's crazy because me, Maddie, and another guest were talking about this too. ⁓ what it was ⁓ what's her name? God, Whitney. Whitney and my friend Whitney came on the show and she was talking about that same thing. They were talking about the price of their prescriptions and how much it costs for these things and like how it's so hard to get. It's like, you know, ⁓ me and my guests on the other show I just did just a minute ago before I jumped in with you guys. Maddie Andrews: Yes. Pete "Da Common Denominator": We were talking about that same thing. I was like, then why is it that mental health is so stigmatized? You know, if it's a problem, clear this day, there's an issue. School shootings, what do they mention? The first thing they say is mental health, and then they run away from it instantly. ⁓ well, we're gonna snip it on the rung and then go that way with it. When when you know there's a problem, but you don't want to fix it. Like, you know, we know it's an issue, it's a constant issue. You know, that the the numbers in suicides are up completely, even 10 to 14. Yvette: Right. Right. Pete "Da Common Denominator": That's ten to fourteen year old boys that are killing themselves and we're not doing anything about this problem. But it's like, you know, we know this is issue. Look at the statistics, and yet we sit there and don't do anything about it. It's like everybody just like frowns upon it, like, ⁓ okay. It's like, you know, what does that number have to hit for somebody to finally start saying something like, Yo, we gotta do something now, you know? And and that's why I push so hard on and having the conversation about it, because it's just like it's it's crazy because people like go deal with these things, you know, and then people have no idea what they're even talking about. ⁓ you're You're narcissistic, or I'm also O C D when you have no idea what those even things even mean. Maddie Andrews: I hate when people do that. ⁓ Pete "Da Common Denominator": We me and somebody else had talked about that. They were O C D and and she's an author of another book I was talking to. And she said the same thing that she said drives me nuts when people say that though. You know, it's like like you have no idea what I deal with on a daily basis. You know, people with borderline personality disorders well get very, very hated on. But people don't re listen, don't people don't use their like we have these phones, but nobody takes time to look it up and see what these people deal with on the other side of the coin. I think a lot of people tend to blur the lines a bit and go, ⁓ well Maddie Andrews: Yes. Pete "Da Common Denominator": They're a horrible person, but really was it that or was it the fact that you didn't take the time to learn what they deal with on their side of the coin? Maddie Andrews: Educate. I hate when people say, like, ⁓ I'm so moody, I'm so bipolar. Let me tell you, as someone who lives with bipolar disorder, it is not moodiness, it's a lot more to it, and I guarantee you, you wouldn't be putting this on yourself so casually and pop culturally if you actually had to live with what we live with. You know, any kind of hoarding OCD, bipolar, BPD. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Right. Maddie Andrews: Schizophrenia, OCD, ⁓ any of it. It's not a walk in the park. People have to struggle on a daily basis. Pete "Da Common Denominator": What but you have to also remember people think that schizophrenics all of them all of them hallucinate too. That was a fun statistic to find out as well. A lot of people think that's the case and they don't. They don't. You don't because I've met a few people, I've asked them that question. Say, listen, can I ask you a question? Explain the aspect of that I'm a po I host a podcast about mental health and I'm curious about this for my own information. I said, Do you hallucinate? And the one guy I talked to said he said he sees a little dot. That's it. That's all he sees. That's it. Nothing really crazy, no, like, but you like a beautiful mind was a great explanation. Maddie Andrews: Not all suizophrenis hallucinate. Of Pete "Da Common Denominator": for people that that really hallucinate and things like that too. But I think at the same time, people tend to just go based on what they what they hear on TikTok and everything else. And it's like they don't fact check. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Schizophrenia Schizophrenia is like disorganized thinking, disorganized speech, ⁓ flat affect, which looks like this. I had that for a really long time. know, we can have a lot of paranoia, a lot of delusions, but it doesn't mean we're hallucinating all the time. Like there's been long periods of my life where I didn't hallucinate at all. I might have just had paranoia delusions. ⁓ Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Confusion, disorganized thinking, disorganized speech, flat affect. I mean, there's a lot more to it than I'm naming, but every person is an individual, no matter what their mental health diagnosis is. And so what happens to one person is not necessarily going to happen to the next. We can't bunch these people into one giant label. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, true. Yvette: Yeah. And mental health doesn't have a face. You know, some of the happiest people committed suicide. And you're like, what what you know, it doesn't have and I think and I also think now with suicide, but it's also with the fentanyl. Like today, if I was a drug addict today, like I was a drug addict in the nineties, I'd be dead. There's no doubt about it. The fentanyl epidemic, people are buying Adderall to stay up and w study and they're dying. Maddie Andrews: Yes, yes. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Mm-hmm. Very good point. Very good point. Yeah. Yvette: They're not even drug addicts. They're just staying up to study and they're dying because there's fentanyl in their Adderall. It's scary. It's scary shit. Maddie Andrews: It's terrifying. And the suicide rates like you guys are talking about are climbing. I am a survivor and I've lost two family members, one being my mom to suicide. And it's a huge passion project of mine. Like I'm organizing a suicide prevention summit for my area for Suicide Awareness Month. I'm trying to do something for our youth, which is hard. but suicide needs to be something that's talked about. There's a lot of great trainings out there, like assist that you can take for free if you can find them. If you're in North Carolina, I can help you find them. And it'll give you the tools to know, okay, someone told me they feel like they want to kill themselves. Here's an appropriate course of action to take. It's not a bad thing to ask somebody if they feel suicidal. That is not wrong. It is okay because then we can get them the help they need. Beating around the bush and playing games about it. ⁓ are you just not feeling well? Are you having bad thoughts? That's a lot more harmful than saying outright. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Thank you. Thank you. Yvette: Yeah. Maddie Andrews: Hey, are you having suicidal thoughts? Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. I agree. I agree one hundred percent with you. Yvette: Yeah, that's it. That's it. And I think when you're at the end of your rope, that's a lot of people just don't think that there's another option. You know, that's why the more the more we take the shame out of it, the more we talk about it, the better. You know, any any way I can help you, Maddie, with any of that, that suicide awareness, the summit, you know, anything I can say, definitely spread the word. Maddie Andrews: Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah, we've gotta get together and collaborate on some things. We've got a lot of like minded missions and I really wanna ⁓ read your book. Yvette: Well, I'll send you a book. You guys gotta send me your address. I'll send you a book and I can't even stop. Yeah. I love Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm definitely I'm gonna r I'm gonna add it to my reading list. It's not it's not right now there with I love it. I love it. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Yvette: I love the platform. I love what you guys are doing. Keep doing this. Get the message out there. Let people have a voice. Make the mess the message, baby. Maddie Andrews: How it Pete "Da Common Denominator": Right. So the only thing if that I ask if everybody that sends me something, I want you to sign it for me 'cause it's going into my personal collection. Any any books that have been sent to me go go to my personal collection. Like I'm a collector at heart. I I collect stuff like that. I've got this that whole bin back there's books of people I've sent me through the out the year the year and a half of the show I did, ⁓ you know, right now I'm doing currently. So I I I keep ⁓ Like I'm getting ready to wanna Maddie Andrews: Ha ha ha. Yeah Yes, sign our copies. Yvette: ⁓ God. ⁓ Pete "Da Common Denominator": You know, things I I keep them as a personal piece of the history because I got to meet these individuals, I got to talk to them. another guy that works in the sober community's name, ⁓ Massimo Ragatti, he sent me his book too. It's called the Sober Method, you know. It's a different thinking to the twelve step process that didn't work for him. ⁓ doesn't demonize it, which I love about him is he's like, I don't it just didn't work for me. So I made a system that worked for me and now it works for everybody it works for other people too. So for people that can't do the twelve steps, which He he d like I said, nothing wrong with it. Sometimes it doesn't work for everybody. That's cool. If that's your cup of tea. There's so many other different things. Especially I'm trying to think what is it. Celebrate recovery, I think, is the other thing my other buddy does. And it's like a religious-based ⁓ recovery thing too, as well. And he's he works out of Florida where he does his stuff like that too. But yeah, listen, like I said, like if you're sending me one, I want to sign cop like I said, I keep it for my personal collection. I I like I said, I love to keep these things as different momentums of the people I've met on the show. I I'm currently reading the nine-time award-winning book by Erica ⁓ Horwitz and her brother about his addiction and his battle with bipolar and things like that. And you're looking at it through the eyes of him. He's telling you his thoughts and what he was thinking, the moments. So I love reading all these different kinds of books and things like that too. I even took time to read a breast cancer memoir ⁓ where it was ⁓ called The Double The Double Mantectomy Always Wanted. It was really great, and I got to interview the author as well. And it was it was something powerful to look at, man. It was it's a little graphic at parts. Yvette: Well Pete "Da Common Denominator": But I mean it's the realism that, you know, people need to understand that these are the people deal with, man. Like, you know, like the scars that she had would look like saw scars. It was some crazy stuff though. But you know, yeah, like I said, I'd love to read it, definitely. Yvette: Yeah. Definitely send you guys a Sure. Maddie Andrews: Yevet, I have a question for you. If someone is newly Yeah. someone is ⁓ sober, newly clean, newly ⁓ with their eating disorder, and they're just starting to enter recovery. What ⁓ words of wisdom can you give them to reach the steps that we've been able to with recovering out loud? And ⁓ think the most important part is to relinquish the shame and guilt. Yvette: Yes, absolutely. keep you sick. You gotta share with another to take out the shame and you have to ask for help. But first you have to admit you have a problem. I think a lot of people aren't really ready to ⁓ surrender, to raise the white flag to say, I'm fucked up and I need help. You know, because a lot of times there's no consequence. Year after year there's no consequence. You know, I'm getting by, it's not that bad and it's You know, on Monday it's not that bad. On Friday, it's getting bad, and you're in the cycle of maybe I'll get help, miserable land of maybe, and you're going nowhere. So you first you have to admit, because no one can help anyone but yourself. I have to admit that I need help. My way is not working. That's the first thing. You gotta own your shit to change your shit. And then ask for help. And then there's so many avenues for help. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. No, agree. I think that's a great point that you have to wanna get help because I think a lot of people forget that they're trying to force people to go into recovery. But if they're not ready to be in recovery, they're not you're not gonna do them any favors. It's gonna be they're they're not gonna get anywhere. You're just wasting your time because they'll have to be the first one to admit that they need the help and you know, and that's the hardest part for a lot of people. And you guys both can speak on that ⁓ one hundred percent. That, you know, it it was one of those things you had to admit to yourselves because you can't force people to do something they don't wanna do. Yvette: No. I always Maddie Andrews: think it's one of the hardest things I've had to do One one of the hardest things I've had to do as a sober adult is watch family members who didn't find recovery and I wanted it so badly for them that I was throwing resources in this and that and help and help and all I was doing was turning into an enabler and ruining my own mental health. And so for me and my space, after years of this h unhealthy behavior, I had to put my foot down and say, I can't have a relationship with you. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. Yvette: Right. Maddie Andrews: When you're ready, I'm here for you. But while you're in this cycle, you're doing nothing but dragging me down and I'm just not gonna stand for that anymore. Yvette: It's a hundred percent. I tell people pain is a great motivator for change. When the pain is great enough, than staying where you are, then you'll actually do it something different. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah. I love it. I love it. Both of y'all. Thank you so much for both of y'all sharing, man. I really appreciate it. Yevet, thank you so much for being here and hanging out with us. So Yeah, we absolutely love you. Maddie Andrews: I bet you've been great. You have been fabulous. Go buy where can we buy where can we buy your book at? Yvette: Thank you guys. It's ⁓ it's on Amazon and you can buy the book on Amazon and I'm also on Instagram at Evet Salva Fitness. Pete "Da Common Denominator": Yeah, definitely. Awesome. Yeah, for sure. We'll definitely put all that in links to the the show and everything like that. So vet before we sign off, do you have any la do you have any last words for anybody before we start signing off? Maddie Andrews: We will tag all that. Yvette: Thank you so much, guys. All right, thanks, guy. Appreciate you. No, thank you so much for having me. Keep inspiring others. Get the message out there and keep creating impact. Pete "Da Common Denominator": All right, guys, with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Voice of the Voiceless. Once again, thank you so much for being here today. It was great meeting you. I look forward to reading the book. Maddie, you have anything you wanna say to the kids before we sign off? Maddie Andrews: Don't be ashamed by your past. Go out there and live out loud. Yvette: Live out loud, baby. Pete "Da Common Denominator": I love it guys. All right, guys. And as always, I always say, be bold. bold, be brave. We want to the voice of voiceless guys. You know where to find us each every Saturday. ⁓ check us out every week. ⁓ guys, you never know. You could be the next voice of the voiceless. Yvette: The voice. Maddie Andrews: Yeah. Yvette: Thank you.