Latest / Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess / Authentic Leadership: Della Reese | Episode #350

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Authentic Leadership: Della Reese | Episode #350 · Legacy Living with Dr. Gloria Burgess

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Hello, and welcome to today's show, Legacy Living, Make Your Life Count.
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I'm your host, Doctor Gloria Gloria Burgess, international leadership expert and trusted
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adviser. Welcome to Legacy Living, Make your Life Count. I'm so delighted
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that you joined me today. I have a special show for you. We
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are going to talk about leadership, a topic that is very near and dear
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to me. I am going to focus specific fickly on authentic leadership. In
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other words, today's focus is all about being being true to who you are,
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being true too being yourself. Right now, today, I'm going to
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share with you a true story. This is a story about singer and actress
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Della Reese Patricia Early Now many of us know her by her stage name Della
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Reese. Miss Reese was born in Detroit, Michigan. Now. Although she
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had siblings, she was actually raised as an only child. When she was
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very young, six years old to be exact, she began singing in her
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church, a beginning that would eventually lead her to become an avid gospel singer.
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On weekends, she and her mom would go to the movies. When
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she got home, Della was fond of acting out scenes from the various movies
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that she saw. Who knew that this would eventually lead her to a career
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that included radio, television, and films. In the mid forties, Della
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began her career directing the young people's choir at her church. While she was
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still in her early teens, she was hired to perform with one of the
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best known gospel singers in the world. That's where Della's life was touched by
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an angel. In her own words, here is Della's story. The summer
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I turned thirteen, I was given an opportunity that would ultimately shape my life.
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You might say I was in the right place at the right time.
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I prefer to think God scent an angel. I was chosen directress of the
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youth choir at the Church of Our Faith in Detroit. All the major gospel
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singers came to our church, the soul stirs, mighty clouds of joy pilgrim
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travelers, but the most celebrated was Mahelia Jackson, the woman who would one
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day be known as the Queen of Gospel. That day, our church was
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packed to overflowing. Dressed in their Sunday finery, people cool themselves with hand
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fans. I was to sing the first song of the concert, christ Is
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all excited. I began softly and built from there. I tore it down,
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and the youth choir was with me all the way. Then Mahelia was
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introduced and started to sing. Tambourines were playing, people were clapping. Everyone
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was caught up in the joy of singing praise. The heat in the room
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rose along with the spirit. Suddenly, the lead soprano in Mahelia's group collapsed.
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A doctor discovered the soprano was pregnant. There were six weeks remaining on
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the group's tour, but the woman's husband was adamant that she not get back
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on the bus. Mahelio was going to need a replacement fast. Reverend Travis,
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one of our ministers, recommended that she take the soloist and directress of
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the thirteen year old Delores Early. Now, the challenge was to convince my
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mother. When Reverend Travis offered to speak to her, Mihelia decided to come
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as well. They walked the four blocks to our apartment building, me tagging
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behind them, praying all the way, Please God make Mamma let me go
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up the three flights of stairs. We climbed. Mamma met us at the
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door good evening, Reverend Travis. She said, I'm always glad to see
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you. Her eyes let me know. She assumed that I had done something
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so wrong that the preacher had to bring me home to her. But the
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first words from Reverend Travis were, Missus Early, it's my honor to introduce
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you to miss Mahelia Jackson. I am the one being honored, my mother
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insisted. Now, Mamma started looking at me with those looks that could cut
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rock. It was clear she thought whatever it was I had done, I
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had done to the offense of Missus Jackson. The reverend made his case for
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letting me join the tour. My mother listened politely. Missus Early, I
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assure you, Mitelia spoke up. I will take personal good care of your
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daughter and see to it nothing happens to her. It will be a great
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learning experience for Delares, the reverend added. Mamma was impassive. She said
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she would pray over it and let them know her decision in the morning.
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I barely slept that night. At breakfast, I crept into the kitchen,
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trying not to too hopeful or desperate. I made the coffee, set the
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table, and washed the dishes as Mamma used them. My mother said nothing.
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My father came in for his breakfast. Afterward, Mamma fixed us,
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lunched, kissed him goodbye, and cleaned up the remaining dishes. I waited
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after what seemed an eternity. She said, we have to talk, and
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you know God is going to be talking right along with us. Didn't sound
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good. Mamma took a drink of coffee. I didn't think you should go,
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but I asked the Lord to tell me if it wasn't right. He
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didn't. I exhaled a sigh of relief. I know this can be good
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for you. She went on. All I need is your honest word that
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you will do the best you can. I promised, and hugged and kissed
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her. I thanked God and everybody in the Bible, Reverend Travis and Miss
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Mahelia Jackson. When I finally quieted down, Mamma said, and I will
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never forget these words. We don't need all of that. All we need
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is your honest word. And remember you won't just be giving it to me,
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you will be giving it to God too. I give you my honest
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word. I said, I'll do my best. Mahelia turned out to be
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twice as tough as my mamma. Where are you going? What are you
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doing? Why are you wearing that? Things? Even Mamma let me do
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on my own. Mahelia had to know about the music. However, more
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than lived up to my expectations. The crowds were sensational, and Mahelia was
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magnificent. Our last engagement, a grand Sunday afternoon tent revival, was in
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Chicago, Mahelia's hometown. This was going to be my chance to show what
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I could do. People from all over would be coming to hear Mahelia and
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me. In my mind, that was the group, Mahelia and me.
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The other three singers were just for background. When Mahelia called on me to
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start the program, I confidently began to walk the sawdust cover of the tent
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floor and do my thing, singing with all my might. Responses came from
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all around me. Amen, Hallelujah, Praise the Lord. I even heard
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Mahelia at her own sing child. Everyone was applauding wildly, asking for more.
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But that was it, my big solo. I had no other number.
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Thinking fast, I began to sing another chorus. I turned it out
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and tore it down, then sat down, smug as could be. When
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the crowd quieted down, Mahelia remained seated and began to moan, no words,
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no song in particular, just moaning low and deep, until she broke
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out in Precious Lord, take my hand. Mahelia sang the entire song seated.
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It seemed she was speaking directly and only to God. The audience responded
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with reverence and awe. They got a different kind of feeling from Mahelia than
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from me. What was it she had that I didn't, I wondered.
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My voice was just as good. In fact, in my mind it was
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better because I could hit higher notes. It took two more summers of touring
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with Mahelia for me to realize just what that something was. My singing was
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enjoyable, rhythmic cute. Hers was a deep spiritual experience. She was worshiping
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God, and I was showing off. When Mahelia sings, said my mother,
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you can feel God in her. By the end of my third tour
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with Mohelia, I thought I had learned all there was to learn from her.
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I was wrong. One summer day, we arrived at a church in
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a field outside Richmond, Virginia. That night, the church overflowed with people.
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When it was my turn to sing, I started with all guns blasting.
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As I hit my high note and held it, I heard a note
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higher than mine, clear and powerful. Undaunted, I hit a higher note
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and held it. As I walked down the aisle, trying to see who
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was singing there in the back row, I saw a girl with braids,
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dressed in coveralls and a farm shirt. She smiled at me, still singing
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higher and higher until she hit a note that I couldn't even reach. Oh
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was I mad? Who did that? Country Bumpkin thinks she was? When
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the program was finished, Mahelia talked to the girl and her mother. Seeing
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that, I stormed out to the car, where I sulked. Soon I
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heard Mahelia saying, there you are, Delarese. I looked the other way.
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That was something, wasn't it? Mahelia said, ain't it grand?
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The way God has of bringing up talent in the strangest places. I jutted
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out my chin and said, I guess now you weren't her right? What
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makes you think that? Well? She sang higher than I did. It's
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not about how high you sing. It's about feeling the presence of God.
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I knew she was right, but I said nothing. Then Mahelia said sternly
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and directly, Delores, You've got to get over your mis wonderful thing and
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just be who you are. You are not in competition. You are in
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God's service, she paused, smiling. Now be glad that he called you,
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but always remember you are not the only one he called. Now get
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out of this car and come meet this child. I followed Mahelia inside and
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went over to the girl, who asked how I sang so well. She
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didn't even know what a power how she was. Mahelia was my guiding angel,
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though I didn't know it at that time. The lesson I learned that
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night helps me to this day. I never could sing like some of the
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top artists who inspired me, Dinah Washington, Sara van El Fitzgerald. But
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you know what, they could not sing like me either. What I had
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was my own. Today, I'm free of the fears of my youth and
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settled in the assurance that comes only from surviving. And Mohelia's words have echoed
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throughout my life. You are in God's service. I just love that story.
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It provides a great example of what being authentic is all about, doesn't
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it, And what a great fit for today's topic, authentic leadership. Now,
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remember I said that earlier. Authentic means really being true to who you
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are are. It's all about being yourself. Now, it's been said,
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in a world where you can be anything, be yourself. So I know
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some of you are asking how does that work. I mean, it's not
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always easy to be yourself. In fact, for some of you, I
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know that being yourself is easier said than done. I hear you. I
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once taught in a graduate program where the entire focus of that program was helping
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my grand students become comfortable with being themselves. This was a program that equipped
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them to work in what we lovingly call the helping professions. So when they
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graduate it, they would become consultants, therapists, nurses, educators, attorneys,
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assuming some kind of leadership role in their organization or community. Now,
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I know firsthand that being yourself can be quite challenging. Think about it.
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So many of us focus on pleasing other people. In the process, we
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can easily lose track of who we are along the way. Now that's a
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pretty steep price to pay. Fortunately, there are many ways to get back
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on track with being who you are meant to be and to discover your strengths
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as well as you're growing edges. You can begin by asking yourself a few
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questions. Ask yourself, what's unique about me? What's unique about me?
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What makes me so special? Right? Another question to ask is what are
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my top three strengths? Another question, what do I enjoy doing so much
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that I lose all track of time? What do I enjoy doing so much
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that I lose track of time? How about this question, what do I
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enjoy so much I would do it for free? And another question to ask
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is what am I curious about now? Any one of those questions can help
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you figure out who you are really, who you are at the core,
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what is your authentic self right now? These questions are important. They are
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designed to help you reconnect with what's meaningful to you and to help you reconnect
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with who you are to fully claim your glorious self, your magnificence. Now.
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There are few critical skills that we all need, skills that will support
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you in truly being yourself, not only as a leader, but in all
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other realms of your life. Are those skills. While there are four of
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them, four that I want to shed the light on today, and these
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are essential. Now. I actually write about these skills in one of my
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books. It's called Flawless leadership, connecting who you are with what you know
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and do. So here are the four skills. The first one is self
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awareness. That's right, that's a skill, self awareness. The second one
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is openness. The next one transparency and curiosity. Now let's start with self
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awareness. Being yourself actually begins here, okay. It begins with self awareness,
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the conscious knowledge of your own desires, feelings, motives, thoughts,
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and traits. This skill also includes the capacity for introspection, for looking inward
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another words, and the capacity for reflection. Okay, Now, this skill
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of self awareness is vital to your ability to ignite, influence, and inspire
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others. When you are self aware, you will be better equipped to embrace,
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reflect on, and use your unique strengths, talents, and gifts.
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You will be able to recognize what drives you and what gives you energy,
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focus, and purpose. You will also be able to develop and clearly communicate
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your vision. Right now, Why is this important? Because you will be
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able to inspire your team or your organization to take meaningful action. Now,
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this is essential whether you are leading at work or in your family. The
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next skill is openness. Now, this skill is often misunderstood because we confuse
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openness with self disclosure. Openness simply means being able to internally recognize, being
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able to freely access, and then being able to appropriately express your feelings and
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thoughts without being defensive. Right now, this sounds pretty straightforward. I'm going
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to repeat those things again. Openness simply means being able to internally recognize,
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freely access, and appropriately express your feelings and thoughts without being defensive. Pretty
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simple, right. However, demonstrating this skill in the moment can be quite
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challenging. In fact, it can be downright difficult. Why because when we're
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triggered by someone or something and we don't realize it, we can easily respond
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inappropriately and defensively right in that split second, In that nano second, right
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we become temporarily immobilized. We actually freeze, which impairs our ability to internally
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recognize, freely access, and appropriately express our feelings and thoughts without being defensive.
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We've all been there, right. The key is to develop your ability
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to self regulate so that when you're emotionally triggered by something or someone, you
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can consciously manage your own reactivity. This is one of the many aspects of
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what we call emotional intelligence. Now, the third skill is transparency. Transparency
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allows leaders to make information that is normally selective, okay, normally seen by
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only a few people. These leaders allow that kind of information, that selective
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okay information to be available to all as appropriate. An example is providing insight
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into a leader's decision making process. Providing such insight can be very helpful during
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times of change and transition. And we're always going through some kind of change
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or transition, right. I remember in one company I worked for, the
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staff learned that we were going to be bought out. We were going to
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be acquired by a rival company. Now, the staff were intensely loyal to
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this organization that we worked for, right, including me, and not surprising.
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When we heard the news about being bought out by another company, we
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were all just kind of wobbly, right, shaken, shaken to the core.
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It seemed as though we were being taken off guard, blindsided, right,
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as if no one had seen this coming. However, the really senior
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staff had seen it coming, even though they couldn't reveal the specifics until after
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the buyout, after the acquisition was complete. Now many of us have heard
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something like this information information is the solar energy of an organization. In other
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words, even a little bit of transparency will go a long way. Now,
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the need for transparency has never been greater in our organizations and communities and
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families and act as old, outworn containing structures and systems and hierarchies continue to
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dissolve, and as our organizations and communities struggle to survive. Leaders must be
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equipped to fill the void in a world what we call a VUCA world VUC
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a right where volatility, uncertainty, ambiguity, and chaos are becoming the norm.
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Such leaders will be equipped to support their organizations, their communities, and
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their families to adapt, innovate, and flourish. Now that fourth skill,
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curiosity, let's talk about that. Leaders who are curious are inquisitive, avid
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learners who desire to learn or no more. They actively and vigorously cultivate and
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nurture and leverage the skill of curiosity. You know what, even though we're
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naturally curious as children, as we grow older, we may not necessarily retain
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our curiosity. I remember as a little girl, my family moved from rural
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Mississippi to the inner city of Detroit, Michigan, and we lived in some
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pretty rough neighborhoods okay. Now, during the hot, humid summers, instead
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of playing outside with the other kids, I had to go to school.
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Unlike most kids who attend summer school because they flunk the course, I went
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to summer school because my dad said so. He actually mandated it. He
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was the headmaster. Our house was the classroom, and my sister and I
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were his pupils. So every day, while our friends played outside our house,
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in the street or in the yard, we completed our daily lessons.
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Now, we studied hard, me and my sisters to pass the tests that
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Daddy gave us after dinner. During those Detroit summers and for years afterwards.
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I remember asking my dad about particular words or concepts that interested me, and
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without fail, Daddy always said, look it up, look it up.
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Can I just tell you something. This is not what a young person wants
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to hear. But as a dutiful daughter, I always followed my father's advice.
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Now was my dad being mean? When I admit that's what I thought,
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though I had the good sense to keep it to myself, right,
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So what was he doing? My dad was actually helping me cultivate an appetite
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for curiosity. He was instilling in me and my sisters the awareness, knowledge,
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skills, and resourcefulness for lifelong learning. And you know what, it
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worked. I became very good at being curious and quite skilled in satisfying my
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curiosity. In fact, I became a voracious learner. The more I learned,
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the more I wanted to learn, and the more curious I became.
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Now, as a visual learner, I was very good at memorizing words and
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their definitions. I was fascinated to learn that some writers had a knack for
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arranging words in such a way that their work came alive, it just kind
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of leaped up off the page right, while other writers were just, I
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don't know, just downright dull and boring. Although I didn't realize it at
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the time, I was actually learning about the writer's voice, about the writer's
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tone, and about the writer's style. Looking up words and other concepts stimulated
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my thinking, fueled my appetite for learning, and spurred my lifelong curiosity.
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Cultivating the skill of being curious also expanded my world far beyond the one I
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knew the six square blocks of my neighborhood in East Detroit. Being curious,
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along with other qualities of being has opened so many doors and so many opportunities
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to build relationships, to be able to work with people that I would never
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have otherwise met, and to serve people in over thirty countries on six continents.
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So what am I saying here? I am saying that the skills of
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self awareness, openness, transparency, and curiosity are the foundation stones for developing
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personal mastery. They are the foundation stone for becoming yourself. Each skill is
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distinct, and each one is essential. Each skill builds on itself and all
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of the other skills together they work in concert to support you in being who
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you truly are. Now, for those of you listening today all around the
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world, if you want to make your life count, if you want to
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be the change you seek, remember this. How you live is how you
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lead. That's right, How you live is how you lead. It's how
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you do everything. You have the power to make our world a better place
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by showing up and showing up in your own two shoes, showing up as
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your authentic self. All right, now, I want you to be sure
31:41
to listen to this show again and again, and hey be sure to tell
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somebody. You can find me right here on iTunes, Audible, Alexa,
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SoundCloud, iHeart, tune In, Spriger, dot Com, Talk Network,
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any part of this week's show, or if you miss last week's show,
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you can simply download the recording and listen to it at your convenience. You
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can even listen to it on the go. Check us out at www dot
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That's Talknetwork Radio dot com. Forward Slash Hosts, Forward Slash Legacy Living.
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You can learn more about my work and Legacy Living. Make your life count
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by visiting the Gloria Burgess website, and that's very easy. It's Gloria Burgess
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dot com. And as I've mentioned before, if you love to be inspired,
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you can actually subscribe to my inspirations right on my website. Just scroll
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Each week you get a lovely photograph and a short quotation that inspires you,
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h D. You can also find me on the ted x site and listen
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to one of my ted Talks. Just type in my name to find me
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there. Before I close today's show, I want to thank each of you
33:45
for tuning in today for allowing me to share a bit about my journey with
33:51
what Legacy living is all about, not just living and learning, but living,
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learning and serving so that you make a difference in your own life and
34:04
in the lives of other people. It's about being on purpose every single day.
34:10
Three sixty five twenty four seven. Legacy living is a powerful way to
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make your life count. Once again, I want to thank you for joining
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me for today's show. I'm your host, doctor Gloria Gloria Burgess, and
34:31
this is Legacy Living. Make your life count. Please join me again next
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time right here on Talk Network Radio for another show of legacy living. Make
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your life count. Don't just count the days in your life, make the
34:53
days in your life count. That's what legacy living is all about. Have
35:00
a fantastic day and remember make the days in your life count. God bless
35:22
that's our show today. I'm your host, doctor Gloria Gloria Burgess. I
35:29
hope you'll join me again next time. Until then, don't just count the
35:35
days in your life. Make the days in your life count. That's what
35:40
legacy living is all about. Here's to you. Have a fantastic day and
35:46
be sure to make it a yes kind of day. Remember to celebrate the
35:52
music of your life. Make the days in your life coup