Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / April 29, 2018 | This Is Us - Fighting For Marriage - Joe Dalfonso

Transcript

April 29, 2018 | This Is Us - Fighting For Marriage - Joe Dalfonso · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning, Topeka Bible Church.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Spring is here.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, aren't you excited?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know me, if we haven't met, my name is Joe Dolfonso.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the pastor of young adults here at Topeka Bible Church, which is those between 18 and 35 years old, single or married.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we also have a new part of our ministry called Young Families, which are 18 to 35 year olds.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you have kids that are five and under, you can come.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, our first event is this Saturday at our house.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's a backyard barbecue at 4 p.m.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: So please, hopefully the weather will be awesome.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: We'll have a great time.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you are looking at me kind of funny.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, these.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: These?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, these are my boxing gloves.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: These are mine.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I own these.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually trained for mixed martial arts back when I lived in Phoenix.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Trained for uh six months.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And uh well, it was only six months, but what makes up for it is Ben Henderson trained at the same gym that I did, UFC champion.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: You get I don't I don't I feel like I'm not connecting with you guys.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: I I do like the movies Rocky.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: I had a a big Rocky kick a few years ago when I went to Philadelphia on a business trip, watched all four, five, six.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: How many movies are there?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Anyways, uh the the boxing gloves make a point, and that is that marriage is something we've got to fight for.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: For our own marriages as well as the marriages of others.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's our message title for this morning fighting for marriage.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk to you today about how to biblically fight for marriage in love.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we all know that we fight for marriage not with the weapons of this world.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a physical fight, it's fighting with God's weapons.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: 2 Corinthians chapter 10 says the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: They're not carnal, but mighty through God.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's 2 Corinthians chapter 10.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you this morning, there's truly an enemy of marriage out there.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not your spouse, it's Satan.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to use God's word to fight against the schemes of the enemy against marriage.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I want to introduce to you my family.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is my lovely wife, Rebecca.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: And on the left is our firstborn, Olivia.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: She's almost three years old.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then on the right, you'll see Luke, who was born last November.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: He's almost starting to crawl.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we are just having a great time raising our kids.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Pastor Jim might have mentioned last week and maybe two weeks ago that Rebecca and I were involved in a marriage ministry for three years back in Phoenix, where we tried to help struggling marriages, those that were heading towards divorce.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And we did this for three years.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was very difficult, but it was also very rewarding.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to share with you today about what God did in that ministry, and we're going to look at God's word about the topic of marriage today.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: And even though we have that experience of intensely working with marriages for three years, I would never say that I'm a marriage expert.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, some of you have been married for 20 years or 30 years or 40 or even 50 or 60 or more years.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: We are not experts.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I do have this, God's word.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a mandate to use God's word lovingly, and you do too.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: And this is our source of power and wisdom.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And when it's used lovingly, it is powerful to fight back the lies that Lucifer is launching at marriages today.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: I also want to say something to those of you who are single.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Since this book, the Bible, is our source of wisdom and power, those of you who are single, this message is for you too.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: You can fight for marriage.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: How do I know that?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's a couple single people in history whose fight for marriages have positive effects even to the present day.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about Paul the Apostle, he was single, wrote 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and a lot of the New Testament, as well as Jesus, he was single.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Both of them spoke into the topic of marriage, both of them were single.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And singles, we also, you also have to be careful because you haven't personally experienced marriage.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yet, if you are speaking this, you I would encourage you not to let anyone look down on you because of your singleness.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Singles can fight for marriage.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: The same holds true for anyone who's been divorced.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, maybe no one else knows the pain of divorce more than you, and so you are maybe uniquely qualified to fight for marriage.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this is our expert.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: The word of God is our expert on marriage.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: But wait, you may say, how are we going to use God's word to fight for marriage if there's only a few passages on the topic of marriage?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you asked that question.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, this entire book speaks to marriage.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's one book, a story of redemption from cover to cover, of God redeeming fallen mankind, reconciling us back to himself.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if God can do that, if he can redeem mankind and bring mankind reconciling us back to himself, he can redeem a broken marriage and speak into marriage and talk about reconciling a husband and wife.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not only this, but grace and forgiveness permeate this book from cover to cover.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Grace and forgiveness, pretty important when we're talking about marriage, isn't it?
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: So let's pray and we'll get into the word of God.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Father, we thank you for this opportunity to hear what you have to say about marriage.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Father, give us hearts that are open to your word.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Father, change us, transform us, including myself.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we can all derive something from this message today.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Pray that we would have ears to hear, take away any distractions that there may be.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: And may the focus and glory be to you in Jesus' name.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: I actually want to begin with a story.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: This is the story of my wife and I ministering to marriages back in Phoenix.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: It started when I was in my second year of leading a young adult ministry at a church in Phoenix.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It was the year 2011, and one of our leaders came to me and said, This couple is getting a divorce.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really concerned.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: We love this couple.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do to help?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Well, three months later, the same leader came to me again and said, This other couple, they're divorcing too.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: We were just heartbroken over this.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then another few months later, again, another couple.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: And over the course of a year and a half, out of 35 couples who had met in this young adult group and gotten married, out of 35 couples, seven had divorced in a year and a half.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: None of them were due to adultery, none to abandonment by an unbeliever.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: When you are in the middle of that, you're wondering, like, what's who's next?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: Is this the new normal?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, will this just continue and continue?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: It seemed to be accelerating.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it felt like ocean wave after ocean wave just hitting us, and we were taking water in.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was concerned.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Our leaders were concerned, but we didn't have much time.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was in seminary, I was leading a young adult ministry, I was working full-time at a corporation, and what do we do?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: But we had to do something.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: We had to do something.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: These were our friends, these were people that we uh went to their weddings, we uh actually made pledges at their weddings in some cases to help them if they ever struggled in their marriage.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: These were our brothers and sisters in the Lord, and they were hurting.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And some of them had children who were hurting.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the reputation of the gospel was on the line.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, non-believers were watching marriages in our church fall apart, and Satan was gonna throw this in our face.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: So we had to do something.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: We had to do something, but it was gonna take time.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I scaled back my involvement in some other things, and my wife and I decided we were gonna help and fight for these marriages and try to help these couples.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: The only problem was, now what?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because I had this much experience, zero, zero experience in marriage ministry at the time.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: We had experience in children's ministry, youth ministry, young adult ministry, but nothing, nothing with marriage.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: My wife and I were married six years at the time, so now what do we do, God?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: I have no idea, no idea.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is, I look back fondly on that moment.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Because doesn't God love it when we're just dependent on Him?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Helpless?
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: God, what do we do?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I can think of a lot of accounts in the Bible, but one that comes to mind is the feeding of the 5,000 and the disciples.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they were wondering the same thing, Lord, there's 5,000 people, what are we gonna do?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus says, You feed them.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And they said, We have a boy's lunch, right?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And God used it.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we felt like.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've got a lunch, a little lunch.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: God used it, you're gonna find out.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: But we were gonna be helpless, we were gonna be dependent, but we had prayer, we had God's word, and that's all we needed, that's what we needed to help these struggling marriages.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: So we looked in God's word, said, What should we do in this situation?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Thought of a couple guys in the Old Testament who had a situation where things were broken down.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: They weren't marriages, however, it was the city of Jerusalem.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: The temple was broken down, the walls of Jerusalem were broken down, and the gates were burned with fire.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Their names?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Ezra and Nehemiah.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: Let's open our Bibles.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Let's read about this in Nehemiah chapter eight, verse five.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah eight, verse five.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah is right before the big books of Job and Psalms.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah eight, verse five.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Ezra was an expert in God's word.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing that he did to help rebuild was to point people back to God's word.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna read about it here in verses five through nine.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Let's read.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Verse five, Ezra opened the book, the word of God.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: All the people could see him because he was standing above them, and as he opened it, the people all stood up.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: And verse six, Ezra praised the Lord, the great God, and all the people lifted their hands and responded, Amen, amen.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then they bowed down and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: The Levites, and we'll skip over those names.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: The Levites instructed the people in the law, while the people were standing there.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: They read from the book of the law, making it clear and giving the meaning so that the people could understand what was being read.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's what Ezra did.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: He pointed people back to God's word when things were broken down, when gates were burned with fire.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Let's now look at Nehemiah, Ezra's contemporary, who also helped rebuild in the nation of Israel.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see how he responded to this situation.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Go back to chapter 1 of Nehemiah.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah chapter 1, verse 1.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this passage might be very familiar to some of you.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah 1.1.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: The words of Nehemiah, son of Hakaliah, in the month of Kisleph, in the 20th year, while I was in the citadel of Susa, Hanani, one of my brothers, came from Judah with some other men, and I questioned them about the Jewish remnant that survived the exile, and also about Jerusalem.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And they said to me, Those who survived the exile are back in the province, and they are in great trouble and disgrace.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: When I heard these things, I sat down and wept.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then he continues with what he prayed in verses five and onward.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: What did Nehemiah do when things were broken down?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: He prayed, he fasted, and look at verse four.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: He was moved.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: He was moved to pray.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And he was moved to even take action.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at Nehemiah chapter 2, verse 17.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah 2, verse 17.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then Nehemiah said to the men helping him, You see the trouble we are in.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 18.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: And they replied, Let us start rebuilding.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: So they began this good work.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So there it is.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: What do we do?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Marriages are broken down.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Well, read God's word.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Understand what God has to say about this topic.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, prayer, specific prayer, fervent prayer.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, these guys took action.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ezra brought God's word to bear in the situation.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah rebuilt the walls.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: 52 days.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: So this was what we were going to do.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: We were going to get into God's word, understand what he has to say, and pray and act.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: What does God's word have to say on the topic of marriage?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we know of specific passages, Matthew 5, Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 7.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But when looking at the whole of God's word, I would say God loves covenants.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: He loves covenants.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: How do I know that God loves covenants?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he made covenants, a lot of them, right?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: He made a covenant with Noah.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: He made a covenant with Abraham, with Moses, with David.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: And he also made a covenant with us.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: God loves covenants.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just like you might like golfing or the royals winning or KU or K-State basketball.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Gotta get both of those in there.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or hammocking, hunting, video games, March Madness.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: God loves covenants.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: He loves covenants.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Question is, what is a covenant?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: What's a covenant?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: A covenant is a promise with force, with oomph.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: For example, maybe you've said this one before.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: You would promise something and then say, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, have you said that before?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: When you're a young boy or girl?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's a covenant.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: That is a covenant, and that's covenantal language.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's a promise with oomph.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And covenants have components.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to have, first of all, a promise.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: There might be penalties.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: There might be penalties.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: So with the stick of needle in my eye, well, that's the penalty, stick a needle in my eye.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: There might be a symbol with the covenant.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can think of a covenant in scripture that has a symbol, the covenant that God made with Noah and mankind that he would never flood the earth again to destroy it.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: What was the symbol there?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: The rainbow, yeah.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: So covenants can have a symbol, they can have penalties, but they must have a promise.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: Not only does God love covenant, but he is really good at keeping his covenants.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: He's really good at it.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Against all odds, he keeps his promises.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Even against the most impossible of circumstances, right?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: For example, with Israel.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's incredible.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: He keeps his covenants, and he will save us by grace through faith, even when we have a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, a bad year, a bad years.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: He will.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: God loves covenants and he keeps them.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: He keeps them against all odds.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: We make covenants too.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: We make covenants too.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: It could be something informal.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, anything you promise is basically a covenant.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: But there's some formal ones, and you're probably, you can probably guess what I'm going to talk about.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: The wedding vows, the marriage covenant.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: That is clearly a covenant.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: The language is so covenantal.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a covenant between two parties, husband and wife.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: The language such as, I take you, Rebecca, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Covenantal language.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Covenantal language.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's the promise.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a symbol, right?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the wedding ring is a symbol of that marriage covenant.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't think we typically include penalties spelled out in our marriage vows, right?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Unless somebody had stick a needle in my eye in their wedding vows.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody have that?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: No?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: But typically we don't spell those out.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, did you know that God actually asks us to imitate him?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this includes keeping our promises in our marriages.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 5, verse 1.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: Be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live a life of love.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Be imitators of God.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Why would God want us to imitate his covenantal nature?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's to show a lost and dying world that knows nothing about agape, love, sacrificial covenantal love.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: They don't know about a God that keeps his promises.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Did you ever think about that?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your marriage can show a lost world, who God is and what he is like, and how he keeps his covenants with his people.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: And hopefully that would attract people to the Lord.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_00: Incredible.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Incredible.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now some of you might be saying, okay, God can keep his covenants, but I'm a man or woman.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a sinner.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I can't, I'm far from perfect.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can't keep covenant when things are bad, when the going's tough.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do you expect me to keep my covenant in an awful marriage?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: We must realize that God is always asking us to do that which is seemingly impossible.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: For example, the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus says, turn the other cheek.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: You mean like somebody offends me, hurts me.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta turn the other cheek?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Come on.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus, right?
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, Jesus.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: Do not worry.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much to worry about out there, right?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Come on, Jesus, do not worry.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or, ooh, be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh boy, come on now, right?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: God is always asking us to do the impossible.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the catch.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: God asks us to do which in our flesh is impossible, so that we would learn to rely on his spirit.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: Did you catch that?
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: God asks us to do that which in our flesh is impossible, so that we will learn to rely or depend on his spirit.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: And with marriage, he must be asking us to do something which is very, very hard.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: Very hard.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: How do I know this?
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Can you guys turn to Matthew chapter 19?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Matthew 19.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 3.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Matthew nineteen, verse three.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Verse three.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: Some Pharisees came to Jesus to test him.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: They asked, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus replied, Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: And said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: So they are no longer two, but one.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: Why then, the Pharisees asked, did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus replied, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard, but it was not this way from the beginning.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife except for marital unfaithfulness and marries another woman commits adultery.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the disciples said to Jesus, If this is the situation between a husband and a wife, it is better not to marry.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Did you see that in verse 10?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: The disciples are basically saying, Jesus, your teaching on marriage is so hard, so unrealistic, that it would be better to just not marry.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that what he's saying?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: I can relate to the disciples here.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: I can relate.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because when I discovered that God loves covenants, that he wants us to imitate him in keeping our covenants too, I was a bit disappointed.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was a bit disappointed.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe some of you are too.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because while I loved these couples in Phoenix that were unfortunately divorcing, and I hated to see them divorce, I was hoping that the Bible wouldn't say anything too hard because I knew that I would then need to go to these couples and challenge them to keep their vows.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: And to tell them their decisions to divorce were in most of those cases just not of God.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: So here I was.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now I knew what God's Word said about marriage.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the key with God's word is not bringing what we want to God's word.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not bringing our preconceived notions to God's word.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And just accepting what God's word has to say for itself.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm finding out that God loves covenant.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_00: Here I was.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna do now, God?
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: What am I gonna do?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I had zero experience with marriage ministry, and I had asked God, what do I do?
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: And he dropped me off the bus here.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: I was gonna have to tell husbands and wives that God is a God who loves covenant.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: He desires that we imitate him in displaying his covenantal nature to a lost world, and that these spouses made a covenant vow at the altar, and they would need to keep their covenant even though their marriage was difficult.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be fun.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be fun.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, what do we do now?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: We pray, Lord help us, Lord help us, and help these marriages, help these marriages.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: My my wife and I, we started praying specifically for these couples, just as Nehemiah did for the walls of Jerusalem and the people of Jerusalem and the city.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: We prayed for these marriages that were broken down.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: We prayed, God, please change this couple's mind about getting a divorce.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Please remind them of why they loved each other in the first place.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Bring a freshness back into their marriage.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Help them forgive each other.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And we would pray with a few other couples that knew these marriages, that would not be gossipy, but that they would be loving and caring.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: We gathered to pray a few times a year.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: And we would pray specifically for change in hearts.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: And we expected God to move because James 5.16, the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in Christ, we are positionally righteous.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: So we're looking forward to what God's gonna do with these prayers.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not only knowing God's word, not only praying, but also Ezra and Nehemiah, they took action.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: They took action, right?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Nehemiah took action by rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: And in the same way, I needed to take action by encouraging these couples to keep their covenant wedding vows.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Not just talking to the couples that were struggling in their marriages, but also let's communicate with the couples that are not heading towards divorce.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's let's fortify them and strengthen them with God's word.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so we did that.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Christmas, several years ago, in the midst of this marriage ministry, we sent them these gifts.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: And it had a CD of some songs that are encouraging to marriages.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: On the CD as well, it had a message about the covenantal nature of marriage.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: And also there was a book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas that we included in this package.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And people loved it.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think we sent out about 40 of those to the couples.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: When we were going to talk with couples, to listen to them, to meet with them, to walk side by side with them, those that were struggling in their marriages, we had to make sure we knew how we were going to speak, with what kind of spirit we would talk to them.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the Bible talks about this too.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: This is very important, very important.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: Two verses in particular in the New Testament.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: How are we going to speak to couples that are struggling in their marriage?
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, Galatians 6, chapter 1.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Galatians chapter 6, verse 1.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Gently.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: We needed to be gentle.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: We needed to make sure we were spiritual, meaning we were walking in the spirit.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, Jesus talks about making sure before you talk to someone, you take that plank out of your own eye, right?
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Before you remove the speck from another person's eye.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 4.15, the next verse says, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the head that is Christ.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: This was not only an encouragement and confirmation that we should speak, speaking the truth, but also how we were to do it.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: We were to do it in love.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: In love.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: And look at the result.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: We will grow up into him who is the head.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: When we speak into each other's lives the truth in love, we grow up into Christ.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: We grow in our spiritual walk.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was also reminded of 1 Corinthians 13, which says that if we do good things like speaking the truth in love to marriages or in whatever context, but we don't do that in a loving way, we are what, a banging gong or a clanging cymbal?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's not good.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: You're having an opposite effect of what you're trying to do.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I am well aware that in the church, in the 20th century, we may have spoken to couples in a way that was not loving, that was hurtful.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to avoid that.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we can still do that today in the 21st century.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: But I also wanted to avoid the other extreme, which I think is happening in this century, the 21st century in the church, which is that nobody says anything for the most part.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, when we began to talk to these seven couples who were struggling, who were headed towards divorce or divorced, for the most part, no one in the church had ever encouraged them to keep their vows to not divorce.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, in one situation, a Christian was encouraging that couple to divorce.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: And there weren't biblical reasons.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: That was hard to know.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we want to avoid these extremes of not speaking versus speaking the truth in a way that's unloving.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: We want to speak the truth in love.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that's how we approached this ministry.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we began.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: We began to listen, listen, listen, listen, hear their stories, walk with them, side by side versus speaking down to them.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, if we weren't particularly close to a couple, we would ask somebody who was in the church to encourage them to speak with them, to walk with them.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: What did we say?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: What did we say?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: Only after a lot of listening, we would speak, first of all, how they are loved by us and by God.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: We weren't doing this out of any moment, any motive, but that we cared.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: We cared about these couples.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: If we didn't care, we wouldn't be there.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: We would also encourage them on how God loves covenant, what we just talked about a few minutes ago, and then how he keeps his covenant despite all odds.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he asked us to imitate him in our covenant keeping.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to also say that there were some situations where we asked a couple for forgiveness, because in some cases we knew a year or two ago that they were struggling in their marriage, and we did nothing.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we could have watched their kids and allowing them to go on a much-needed date.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: So in some cases, we asked forgiveness.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: We also shared with them other marriage passages, some of the ones I mentioned, Matthew 5, Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 7.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: We encouraged them to watch their wedding vows on video.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: A good reminder of what they promised each other a few years ago.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: They started dating, they got engaged, they got married.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: What was it that brought you guys together?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: What attracted you?
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: And can you tell the other person that this week, right?
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if there was readiness, we would also encourage them to go on a date.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: And we could help them to make that happen.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: What if there was some unrepentant sin in the marriage?
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe one of the spouses was into pornography or they were abusive or they were addicted to drugs or alcohol.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we would take that very seriously.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: We would challenge them.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if they wouldn't listen to, let's say, my challenge, I would encourage another brother to come along or sister to come along and talk to them.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of like something that Jesus outlines in Matthew 18.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: We took this very seriously.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if there was physical abuse, we would encourage physical separation for safety's sake.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: What about adultery?
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: What if there was adultery?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: This was only one of the seven divorces.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, with adultery, there's no biblical mandate to divorce in cases of adultery.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you can divorce for adultery.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: But if the adulterous spouse is truly repentant, you could be missing out on maybe the best way to demonstrate God's faithfulness to his covenant promises, despite his people's unfaithfulness to him.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: It could be the second most powerful message of God's grace, besides the cross.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because of that, if there's a spouse that commits adultery but is truly repentant, I would strongly urge that couple to stay together.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_00: People have literally come to Christ because they saw the faithfulness of a spouse that didn't give up on their marriage vows despite their partner's infidelity.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's a powerful, powerful testimony.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_00: What else did we say?
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: Counseling.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: Very important.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: Counseling.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: Biblical counseling.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, there's no shame, we would say, in counseling.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: No shame.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I would say pretty much every marriage, I would say every marriage needs counseling from time to time.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_00: We've been to counseling, my wife Rebecca and I, several times.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I've even taken myself to counseling because I knew I was the issue.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the counselor confirmed it.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what we spoke into marriages.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: Keep your covenant because God loves covenant.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: Go to counseling.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: Remind yourself of your wedding vows.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Watch the video.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now I want to say this was not some cookie cutter template.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: Rather, this is a list of things we said just reflecting back on the conversations we had with couples.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: And this was over months, years.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: This wasn't a one-time meeting, go through the checklist of ten things to talk about.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: Every couple is unique.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: Every spouse is unique.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: And in some marriages, we would focus on one spouse because the other spouse, we were preaching to the choir, they didn't want the divorce.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: So each couple, each spouse was unique.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: This is not a cookie cutter.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: But what was the reaction?
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: What was the reaction we received to this?
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: We actually ran into quite a bit of resistance.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: Keep in mind, these are people we knew.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: These are people whose weddings we attended.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe we weren't best friends, but we were there when they met, when they got married.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: And speaking the truth into others' lives can be really hard.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: Even people, sometimes especially people we know.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes some of us, I mean, including myself, because of pride, I might not be open to be challenged personally one-to-one to align the way I'm living with God's way.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: And if that's you, if you give people a hard time when they come to try to talk to you about whatever topic, I would encourage you to know that most of the time when people come to us, it's because they care.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's because they're trying to help.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: Most of the time.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, now it's time to bring praise to Jesus.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: I want to talk about what did God do?
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_00: What were the outcomes of this marriage ministry, this three-year endeavor?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, remember, we had zero experience.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: Zero, right?
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you, as we prayed, as we prayed for couples, hearts changed.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: Not every couple, but there was a few couples in particular.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's the the spouse repented and started following the Lord.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you a few examples.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: There was one husband who repented of the drug use and the adultery that had shipwrecked his marriage.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Praise God.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: He repented of that.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now his wife ended up divorcing him, she ended up remarrying.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: But this husband who repented is a changed man.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I can honestly say he is more on fire for Jesus than a lot of people I know.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: But now, with this husband, at first, when we were challenging him on his sin, he called me and told me, literally, that he was going to come over to my house and beat me up this week.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: True story.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, you know, I'm kind of busy this week.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: Can we schedule something for next week?
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: And thankfully I had six months of mixed martial arts training.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Just kidding.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: I we didn't go there.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I did see him six months later.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_00: He came to church and I thought, this is it.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_00: Fight time, right?
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_00: Turned out he was coming to me to tell me that, yes, he was addicted to drugs and he had committed adultery, and he was coming to confess his sin.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_00: He wanted to reconcile with his wife.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, it did not end up happening.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_00: But this man, him and I, we were not really friends before all this.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: But now we're friends.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_00: Believe it or not, we are friends.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: We've gone to Phoenix Suns basketball games together, Christian concerts together.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing what God can do.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you'll speak into somebody's life and they might hate you.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_00: But years later they realize that you really had their best interest in mind, even though it was a particularly hard word, right?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: So who knows what God will do as we speak?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: That was one husband.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: Another husband, he now wants to reconcile with his wife.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: And his wife, she's still available.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so this is a long shot, but we are praying for this couple, and we'll see what God might do.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: But our best story, the best thing, is a couple who divorced eight years ago in 2010.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: They worked with my wife and I, Rebecca, for three hard years, where it was constantly two steps forward, one step back.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to give up a few times, to be quite honest.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: But they are now working with a local counselor, and as of this year, they are actually very quickly moving toward moving back in together, renewing their wedding vows, and it's so exciting.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if they're ever gonna watch this message, I would say, I am so proud of you guys for following God and taking this hard road.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_00: God is gonna bless that.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_00: God is gonna bless that.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now, overall, as a result of God answering prayer and sharing God's word about marriage, there have been almost no divorces in the last four years compared to what, seven in that first year and a half.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: We praise God for that.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's been, unfortunately, one divorce, and we're saddened by that.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: But what a difference, what a change that's happened that God has done because he said, This is what you do.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is what you do.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: More than that, there are at least a couple marriages that we saw heading towards divorce that put the brakes on that because God's word was shared about marriage, people were praying.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_00: And most importantly, we hear people back in Phoenix in this group of uh Christians talking differently about marriage.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, there's one spouse who was somebody that encouraged one of these couples to divorce five years ago.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_00: She is now saying, hey, it's so important to keep our wedding vows, even in the toughest of times.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: Complete change in what she's saying.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's a high view of marriage now in this group back in Phoenix.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: And people now agree with God that marriage is a covenant.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, what about you?
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have marriages around you that are broken down?
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like those walls in Nehemiah's time?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: Are they heading towards divorce or maybe already separated?
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what did we do?
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_00: What did Nehemiah and Ezra do when walls are broken down?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: They went to God's word.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I would encourage you to know what God's word says about marriage and the whole narrative, the redemption narrative of Scripture.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: That God loves covenant, that he asks his followers to imitate him and keeping covenant.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, of course, praying, praying specifically for marriages that are struggling.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_00: Be encouraged that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: Your prayers are powerful.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, take action if God's calling you to do that.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: Don't shirk away from that responsibility.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: Speak the truth in love, as Ephesians 4.15 talks about.
• 42:29
  SPEAKER_00: Ideally, you want somebody close to that couple, right, to talk to them.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if that person isn't willing to talk, then maybe the next closest person.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_00: But it must be done in gentleness, it must be done in love.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: Walking alongside the couple versus speaking down to them.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_00: It can be scary to speak, but God has not given us a spirit of fear, 2 Timothy 1 says.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_00: He's given us a spirit of power, of love, of self-discipline.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: So fear is not of God.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: Let your love for the couple overcome your fear.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let your love for the couple overcome your fear.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_00: We are gonna close with a song, a video.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's a song from a Christian movie named Fireproof, which is about 10 years old.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's incredible how time flies.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's a movie about fighting for marriage.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the song is entitled Love is not a fight, but it's worth fighting for.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's by Warren Barfield.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to really listen to the lyrics.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: They're powerful.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh they've brought some tears to my eyes.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're watching this online, you can search for this video on vivo or YouTube.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: And please listen to the miss listen to the message, the lyrics, and ask God what He is calling you to do potentially to help fight for marriage.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then we'll close in prayer after the video.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_00: If we try to leave, may angels guard the door.
• 44:05
  SPEAKER_00: Love that line.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: Father, we pray that you would have used this message to bring about radical changes.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: If there's any marriages heading towards divorce, Lord, may the may the brakes be put on that, Lord.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_00: Father, we ask for big things this morning.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_00: We ask for comfort for those who have been through a divorce.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: God, we ask that you would bring them peace, help them to move forward despite the pain.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, may you use them even to help minister to marriages today.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: Father, we pray for your strength, Lord, to do what you're asking us to do, whether it's to speak into marriages, whether it's to really fight for our own marriage right now.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_00: We ask that you would do your work in Jesus' name.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you fight for marriage?
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: The word of God, prayer, action.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: Marriage is something worth fighting for.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_00: So fight.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_00: Fight for marriage.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that we as a church can display the covenantal nature of our God to a world that is lost and needs Him.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_00: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_00: So thankful you all came today.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be in front for prayer, questions.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_00: Go in peace.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: You are loved.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.