Latest / Roam Alone / Solo Van Life: Kristy's Coddiwompling Journey

Transcript

Solo Van Life: Kristy's Coddiwompling Journey · Roam Alone

0:03
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Roam Alone, the podcast for anyone who's ever wondered what it would feel like to just go.
0:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Teresa Stevens, and today we're talking with someone who has turned the art of not knowing into a way of life.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: Christy Haverson has spent the last nine years living on the road in her airstream, lovingly nicknamed Cotty, short for Cotty Wumbling, which means traveling purposefully, but without a destination in mind.
0:33
SPEAKER_01: No map telling her where to end up, just trust that the road and life will take her exactly where she's supposed to be.
0:41
SPEAKER_01: She's channeled that philosophy into a brand new book called Perfect Unfolding, a reflection on the belief that our lives are unfolding exactly as they're meant to, even in those moments where we can't make sense of it yet.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: Let's get into it.
0:59
SPEAKER_01: So my guest today is Christy Halverson, author of Perfect Unfolding.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: Christy, thank you so much for coming on the show today.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate it.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, thanks.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to see where we go.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, and that is, I think, the theme of your life is you're excited to see where you're gonna go.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: And I just I was trying to put together some questions for you.
1:25
SPEAKER_01: And I had like 300 questions that I had to whittle down to, you know, 50 or so.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: I know I'm hoping this episode won't be two hours long, but it might be.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: We'll see how it goes.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: So let's start with the basics.
1:41
SPEAKER_01: How long were you on the road alone with your Airstream?
1:46
SPEAKER_01: And if you can give us like an overview of what states and provinces, since you're up in Canada, uh, where have you been over these years?
1:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, so I'm in my ninth year.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: So I started in 2017.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: And there's been a few episodes where I took care of my mom.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: I was kind of home-based out of her home, but I would often snatch her and bring her with me.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, good.
2:09
SPEAKER_00: But but totally, I, you know, I left my house, sold everything in 2017, and I'm coming up on my nine-year anniversary of traveling.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And in those nine years, I've been to, well, Cottie has been to all the 48 states.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: I joke around that I'm taking donations for the ferry to Hawaii if anybody wants to donate, because I'd love to take her there.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: And I've been planning to take her to Alaska, but um, mom's not been doing well for a number of years.
2:35
SPEAKER_00: I was kind of nervous about going that far.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: So I hope to go to Alaska, but I personally have been to all the states, and Coti has been to all the provinces except for the northern two, the Yukon Northwest territories up there.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, so we've hit just about all of North America, minus two provinces.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: She gets around, doesn't she?
2:58
SPEAKER_00: She does get around.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: We briefly talked uh about a week or so ago, and just in that short time and in reading the book, it feels like Cottie, your airstream, is a human person with a name and a personality, and she's got some miles on her.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: And I just I love the fact she is your partner in this.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: She is.
3:22
SPEAKER_00: And you know, there was a time because I've been calling her, well, at first her name was Cottie Wumple, but that was too long, so I shortened it to Cotty.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: But early on in my journey, like a year or two, and I I even asked a friend, I said, Is it strange that I talk about Cottie like she's a human?
3:36
SPEAKER_00: And a couple different friends were like, I think it's so cute, it's adorable, and she is, she has her own personality.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: So safely some friends early on were like, no, it's not weird.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: Treat her like a human.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: And I do, it's almost like she's my pet and my confidant and my protector.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, she's everything.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: Uh, she's everything, absolutely.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: So cottay wampling, that is a term, and it felt familiar.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it was a a word I'd heard before, or is it a word you made up?
4:04
SPEAKER_00: What is cotty wompling?
4:06
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't make it up, but the I remember the moment I first saw it.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: It it's a slang term that I'm trying to find the the source, and it's best I can find a few decades ago, somebody in the UK made it up, but nobody knows who.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: And then about 10 or 12 years ago, it kind of came out in the travel world as the meaning of it was to travel without knowing where you're going.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: So I took the word, when I first saw the word, I just I was just like, this is my word, this is how I want to live, this is my life.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: And so I've defined it, you know, with a real definition, just in case one of the dictionaries or all the dictionaries one day wanted to make sure make it a real word, to travel purposely to unknown destinations, to be open to limitless possibilities, and to unpredict your journey or unpredict your future.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: And that is not easy to do.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: Letting go, letting go of everything, letting go of control, letting go of what you thought life was supposed to be like.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: And you've done it.
5:10
SPEAKER_01: You've done it for nine years now.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: In your book, Perfect Unfolding, you've been on the road for nine years, but the book focuses on one year.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: Why that year?
5:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, great question.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: So, since probably around 2018, people have been begging me to write a book, like my friends, people I meet on the road.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: And I was always like, I don't know.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: I wander around, I don't know where I'm going.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't really know what I write a book about.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Like, is it really that interesting?
5:36
SPEAKER_00: And then December of the year of the book, I just I was I was sitting in Caughty one day and I was just thinking, oh my gosh, I can't believe what has happened in the last six months.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: If a novelist were to sit down and want to write an adventure, transformative story, I they couldn't make this stuff up.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't remember which day it was.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: I just remember it was December.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I need to write a book.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: Like too much has happened in this year.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: What I did was I looked for a pivotal day, like a day that I thought that would be a good beginning.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: And it just happened to be May 19th.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: So the book begins May 19th on a mountain in North Georgia, and I truly didn't know where I was off to.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: And that's where it begins.
6:20
SPEAKER_00: And then I what was fun was this it was December when I realized it.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: So for the last half of the book, I was living it while writing it.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: But I never, I shouldn't say never, I rarely know where I'm going.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: And life is a constant surprise.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: So I literally was waiting to see how this book ended.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: I had no clue how it was gonna end either.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: And then I made a promise to myself wherever I am, whatever I'm doing on May 19th, that's gonna be the end.
6:44
SPEAKER_00: And so it it just ends right there.
6:46
SPEAKER_01: So let's go all the way back nine years.
6:49
SPEAKER_01: You you had a plan to go with your boyfriend at the time.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: So this was not gonna be a solo trip.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: You had already bought the airstream and you were planning on going, and the relationship ends.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Can you talk about that?
7:05
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: So in 2015, I made a five-year plan.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad we didn't stick with our normal plan because we would have left in 2020, and that I don't think that would have been a good year to do this.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: But thankfully, life was like, no, we've got other plans.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: So two and a half years in in 2017, my boyfriend at the time made a uh decision that I know even he regretted later.
7:29
SPEAKER_00: He drove to Kansas to try to get back together with his ex from 11 years before.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: Ugh, never worked.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: No, it didn't work.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: And and he tried to reconcile, and I was just like, you know, there's like oopsies, and then there's like a 24-hour drive to Kansas, and I'm like, that's that's too big of an oopsie.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, my plan was coming together way faster than I thought.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: So I already had the truck, I already had the airstream.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: I still didn't think it would be.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: I thought it'd be maybe another year before we were ready to really hit the road.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: But when he left, I was trying to grow my my business and I was working full-time as a firefighter, and he had been laid off.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: So he was kind of taking care of me and rowing the yawn and lawn and going grocery shopping.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: When we split up, I just had so much on my plate.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, what am I gonna do?
8:15
SPEAKER_00: So I thought, well, I'll sell my house and just live in my airstream, like locally.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: And then my mom thankfully stepped in and was like, You've got everything you need.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: Like, you're ready, hit the road, you can do it alone.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And I really didn't think I could.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: And so thankfully, my mom kind of slapped me in a really loving way, slapped some sense into me.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: And that was September.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: And then by November, I had left my job, sold my house, got rid of all my stuff, and was on the road solo.
8:43
SPEAKER_01: That's incredible.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Two months later.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: And it it had to feel incredible to have your mom support and her belief in you, even if you were questioning doing this all by yourself and the timing of it, just to have her say, you know what, you are ready.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: Go for it.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: That was one of the best gifts of my life.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Seriously, if my mom wouldn't have done that, I don't, I can't even imagine what would have happened.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: I think I probably would have sold my house just to like downsize and lived in an RB park and kept my regular life there.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: I really don't think I would have gone because I, in my head, I'd made up a story that I couldn't do it alone.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: And I completely could.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: In fact, I am so glad I did it alone.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: What I saw and what I understood about myself and learned through the journey, I could never have done that.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Even if it was the perfect partner and my soulmate, I don't think I would have just grown and seen and become who I am in the way that I did.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: I am so glad I did it alone.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: So it was a really big blessing in disguise.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's amazing.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: How do you think it would have been different?
9:49
SPEAKER_01: Why wouldn't you have grown in the same way if somebody had been with you?
9:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, I went through a dark phase.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: So the first year was really, really tough.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: The first couple of months, I was kind of like in honeymoon phase, like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: And then after the first couple of months, it really hit.
10:06
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm out here by myself.
10:08
SPEAKER_00: I left my job.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: And my job as a firefighter was like my family.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: So it wasn't just a job, it was like all my friends and family.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was alone in areas I didn't know anybody, and I didn't want to be.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: I was fighting what was happening because I was still in the mode of, I can't believe Wade did that.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: I wanted him to be here.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: And so because I was fighting what was actually happening, I was just lonely and sad.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: And I thought I'd made the biggest mistake of my life.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: The way I describe it now, I didn't know then, but looking back, I realized I went on a real life, like modern day walkabout.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, like I didn't know I was going on a walkabout, but I literally went off into nature by myself and I saw truths about life.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: I like I realized just sitting, sitting in the middle of the desert or sitting in a forest by myself or sitting in a river, there were so many ahas I had that were almost like they were just downloaded from nature and the universe.
11:04
SPEAKER_00: And and it's the classic story you hear about people that go on these pilgrimages, and I didn't do this to have that experience, but that's what happened.
11:12
SPEAKER_00: And I just feel that if there was someone else there, I wouldn't have had, you know, the journey through the darkness and into the light, and I wouldn't have had those moments by myself when I couldn't speak to a human, and I just sat there in silence in nature and and saw these truths.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: Like I just I just know I couldn't have had the experience I had had anyone else been there.
11:34
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: I've interviewed a couple of women over the last few months, Diane and Kelly.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: And they have both said basically the same thing, which is when they've gone on their travels alone, the noise stops.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: And the noise being other people's voices, other people's opinions, other people's thoughts pressing on you.
11:59
SPEAKER_01: And so you are left to your own devices, you're left to your own voice, and everything that's going on in your head is just you.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: So I think it's that you're you hit the nail on the head.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: And then when you were talking, I realized too, there was so much stuff that went, I'm using air quotes, wrong, you know, like my trailer broke, my truck broke, I whatever, you know.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's such a different experience when there's no one to help.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh and you're just like, you you either gotta do it or you could just you gotta, I I say in the book, you you you can melt into a puddle of goo and feel sorry for yourself, you know.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: And and I think there's so much growth that comes from there's been times where I was on the way to melting, and then I just pulled up my big girl pants and I was like, I just gotta figure this out.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: And there's something special that happens when you're forced to figure it out on your own, and then you realize, oh wait, no, I can figure this out.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I can do this.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:54
SPEAKER_01: And you do, you figure it out.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: And that's the amazing thing about traveling solo, about roaming alone, is you end up trusting yourself and you figure it out one way or the other, and it's all on you, and that responsibility is on you, but also the the glory of figuring it out is also on you as well.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: And that empowerment that comes from that, I think, is so cool.
13:15
SPEAKER_01: Throughout the book, you've got so many great quotes.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: One that stuck with me early on is you said, home isn't a location, it's a way of being.
13:25
SPEAKER_01: And literally, the only location you had really is Cotty.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: So talk about talk about what you mean, it's a way of being when you talk about home.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: What I realized it was when I was traveling overseas, because one other fun thing that I didn't mention too much in the book is it's easy to store cotti in the truck.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: And I just park them, pay somebody to wash over them, whether it's a campground or storage center, and and and hit the open skies.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: And so this realization hit me when I was in Prague and I got off the plane.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: And I had been to Prague earlier that year, and it felt like a quote, foreign country.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: And when I got off the plane that time, I'm like, wow, this feels like home.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: And it was strange.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: I was like, wonder what that's all about.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's because I've been here before, but there's places I've been that don't feel like home.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: And then that kept happening no matter where I went.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: And then after a few different countries, I was like, what's going on?
14:18
SPEAKER_00: And I just reflected and I realized, oh, like something inside shifted.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: I used to think home was like a place, bricks and mortar and a front door and family, you name it.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: And I just realized that home is uh is a space that I can I am, but it's a way of being.
14:41
SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's who we all are.
14:45
SPEAKER_00: It's inside of us.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: It's like yeah, it's it it has something to do, it's hard to explain, it's hard to put in words, but it has something to do with the interconnectedness of everything and how I can completely feel at home no matter where I am and no matter what's going on.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: I think that was in 2019.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: And since then I've been to all these places and different places in the world, all over North America, and everywhere just feels like home.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: And it's because it's not about where I'm at, it's just a different way of understanding life and who I am.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, absolutely.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: So when you did first take off, did you have a set amount of like time that you wanted to be gone or had planned?
15:28
SPEAKER_01: Or did you know where you were gonna go?
15:30
SPEAKER_01: Did you set locations out, or did you just like fly by the seat of your pants or drive by the seat of your pants?
15:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, I pretty much yeah, drove slash flew by the seat of my pants.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: The first few I visited a few friends like right when I left.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: And I kind of knew that was happening.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And then there was a point when I just went west.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: I was at my mom's house in Florida and I woke up early one morning and left before sunset and just hit I-10 and went west.
15:57
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know where I was gonna end up.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: And eventually, months later, I ended up in California.
16:01
SPEAKER_00: And you can't get much further west than that.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: I've it's almost like, you know, back in the 1800s, if I would have had a wagon, I'd probably take it a similar route.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: But um, but yeah, so I had no plans and people, even from the beginning, when I said, Hey, I'm full time, I sold my house and like this is it, people would ask, and I would say, I don't know.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: As long as my soul is tickled to travel, I will travel.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: The moment my soul is tickled to do something else, I'll do it.
16:27
SPEAKER_00: And so I've been living with that as my motto.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: Whenever anyone asks, you know, ever since 2017, I've been saying the same thing.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: Still going.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: You're still going.
16:36
SPEAKER_01: And I think, you know, a lot of that tickling is listening to yourself.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: And so many people don't do that.
16:44
SPEAKER_01: It's so hard, you know, to to hear what your what your body, what your mind, what your soul is telling you because you want to shut it down and you just go along with the program, do what you've always done.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: It's so hard to really listen to what your soul needs and not only listen, but do something about it.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: During the year of your book, Perfect Unfolding, you are in Canada for the most part.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: So why Canada?
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Well, I I live off-grid, so I I don't really enjoy campgrounds.
17:20
SPEAKER_00: Nothing against campgrounds, but it's just it's not my jam.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: So, and I figured that out.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: That was part of that first year.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: I was so unhappy.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: It took me about a year to figure that out.
17:28
SPEAKER_00: But I set cotty up with solar panels, a composting toilet, everything you need, completely live off-grid.
17:34
SPEAKER_00: And what comes with that, which is fun, is I have to migrate because um, you know, solar alone doesn't do well in extreme heat or extreme cold.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: So almost every summer I go north, and north is usually Canada.
17:49
SPEAKER_00: And I just love Canada.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: I I I love the people, I love the feeling of being up there, and I love how easy it is to live off-grid.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: There's so many beautiful untouched places.
18:00
SPEAKER_00: So, so yeah, that's kind of started to be a pattern of mine.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: Summer, I was in Canada, winter, I would head south.
18:07
SPEAKER_00: So I'm in Canada almost every summer.
18:09
SPEAKER_00: And this year, in the book, I was visiting friends that live near Ottawa, and I knew I was gonna go there.
18:15
SPEAKER_00: I knew I needed to be there the second week of June, but I didn't know how I'd get there and I didn't know what I'd do after.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: And I was really expecting when I got there, I was like, I'll just ask them where I should go, because I really didn't know.
18:27
SPEAKER_00: And they they said, You see more of Canada than we have.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: You're like, how do I know where to send you?
18:32
SPEAKER_00: So I just looked at a map and something pulled me toward Labrador.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: And so that's how I headed in that direction.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: It was again, it was not a part of a plan.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: It was just looking at a map, saying, that might be interesting to visit.
18:45
SPEAKER_00: And there I went.
18:46
SPEAKER_00: And there you went.
18:47
SPEAKER_00: Describe Labrador to me.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: So Labrador is the most untouched land that I've ever been to.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: And so I've never gone to Alaska and I've heard it's pretty untouched up there.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: From what I hear, like there is more civilization on the way to Alaska than there is in Labrador.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: So Labrador, what's awesome is they have an incredible road.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: So there's it's the Labrador Highway.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: There's one main road in all of Labrador.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: It's perfect.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: It's it's fairly new, there's hardly any potholes, and it's just a beautiful road.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: But there's only a few towns in Labrador.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: So that stretches between towns are anywhere from five to six hours to two or two and a half hours.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
19:27
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: And in between the towns, there is nothing.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: There's no stores, there's no service, there's pretty much no people.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: So you've got to be fully ready to defend for yourself.
19:38
SPEAKER_00: And there's not many people on this road because there's not many people traveling in Labrador.
19:42
SPEAKER_00: So I remember there was one time in the book where I say, I just drove two and a half hours and I saw one car on the side of the road with a flat tire, nobody was in it, and like one other car passed me.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: In fact, the government of Labrador provides satellite foams for travelers.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: They feel it's dangerous because what if something happened in the middle of nowhere and there's no people and there's no way to contact anyone?
20:02
SPEAKER_00: So it is pristine, beautiful wilderness.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: It's mostly all evergreens, lakes, and rivers, and it's that way the whole way through.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's incredible.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: Did you ever were you concerned, worried, scared, being out, especially someplace so remote like that, uh, for hours on end?
20:23
SPEAKER_00: No.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: And you know, that's a that's something people ask me, and it's it's been that way since the very beginning.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: Like even when I first left Encati, I don't know why.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: I I think it's just because of how I feel about who we are and how life works.
20:36
SPEAKER_00: I've not been scared.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: So I've never been scared, like scared to do something.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: I doubted myself that I could do this alum, but that was before I left.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: But once my mom kind of tapped me and then sent me off my way, I've I just haven't been scared.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: I just feel like I don't know.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: I feel like it is the perfect unfolding.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: And and if something happens to me, I'm doing what I love and oh well, you know, so I don't see much to be scared of.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: And I've knock on wood, I've not been threatened, I've not been harmed, I've not been robbed, I've not been anything in in this whole time either.
21:09
SPEAKER_00: So there hasn't really been much to be afraid of.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: Good, good.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'm thinking bears and moose and you know, wild animals, of course.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: But you know, you also worked as a firefighter for a very long time.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: Do you think that prepared you at least to handle things, to I don't know, feel capable, uh, any kind of medical or life-saving training.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: Did that come into play?
21:34
SPEAKER_01: Do you think that made you more confident to be out there on your own?
21:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think so.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, firefighters, we're a different breed.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: We, you know, we run into situations where everybody's just running the other way.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: So part of that is just kind of how I was born, or I don't know how I was raised.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: But there was times I was nervous firefighting, a few times, but I really didn't have the fear that I think most normal people would.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: Plus, in firefighting, like you just mentioned, it was like On-the-job training of how to deal with really crazy situations.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: And so I joke around that firefighting taught me that the seat of my pants has wings and I can fly by the seat of my pants and eventually I'm going to figure something out, or someone else will come along that can help you figure it out.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: I think there's that underlying sense of, yeah, things will work out just because of you know 15 years I spent, you know, running into burning buildings and helping people on their worst days.
22:26
SPEAKER_01: So tell me about affording this lifestyle.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: You sold your house, you bought this airstream.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: Is it an affordable lifestyle long-term like this?
22:36
SPEAKER_01: You're going on your ninth year compared to having a house and all the electric and water bills and everything that comes with that.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: Compare the two.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: I assumed that it was going to be at least as expensive, if not more expensive.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: Because you look at campground fees nowadays, and like a lot of places are like, you know, it could be a hundred bucks a night.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: And so I really, that's why I worked so hard, you know, while I was a firefighter trying to grow my business.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: Cause in my mind, I might I gotta make some bank to afford to live like this.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, but what was nice is when I sold my house, I I didn't have any bills.
23:10
SPEAKER_00: So I own my truck and trailer outright.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: I pay health insurance, I pay trailer and truck insurance, I buy food, and then, you know, I have any expenses that come with me on the road.
23:20
SPEAKER_00: And the way I live now, I didn't do it to save money, but boy, is it inexpensive.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: I live on public lands.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, in the US, I mostly live on national forest BLM lands, or, you know, I mentioned in the book that I'm a member of a group called Doondocker's Welcome, where you can stay on private land for a few days.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: So I don't have rent.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: I rarely pay to stay in a campground.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: And I don't do that because I'm not, I don't have the money.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: I do that because I'd rather be in nature.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:51
SPEAKER_00: So boondocking and living the way I do, it's so affordable.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: And so that was another bonus that came along is I early on realized I don't have to work as hard as I thought I needed to.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, so I really love what I do and it pays the bills, and I actually don't spend all that much time working.
24:11
SPEAKER_00: At least I don't feel like I am.
24:12
SPEAKER_01: Right.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and that's the most important, I think.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: So you are doing coaching and mentoring, correct?
24:18
SPEAKER_01: Is there any issue to do that kind of work to work at all when you're on the road?
24:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking technology and Wi-Fi, especially if you go to those remote places.
24:28
SPEAKER_01: How does that work?
24:29
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I use cell data.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: So I have an ATT phone and I have a Verizon hotspot, and I've had that combo since the day I started.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: And I've I've survived.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: So I have upgraded.
24:41
SPEAKER_00: So I have a cell phone booster on both the truck and on the airstream.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's an antenna on the roof and a little doohickey that takes, say, you have one or two bars of signal, it can boost it up to three or four bars.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: So I know what I need at a minimum to work on Zoom because almost all my work is on Zoom.
25:00
SPEAKER_00: And so I just that's why I have a setup on the truck too.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes I park cotton in a place, there's just no service.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: You can't boost nothing.
25:09
SPEAKER_00: So if there's no service, there's no service.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: And so in that case, I have a big truck and I just drive it to the top of a hill or to a town, and I, you know, spend a day working out of the back of my truck.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: I did try Starlink.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: I I never really wanted Starlink, but there was a time where I was like, you know, maybe this is easier.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: But I really love living in wooded areas and Starlink does not play well with trees.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: So I I tried it out and it didn't work, and I returned it and said this isn't for me.
25:33
SPEAKER_00: So I've just stuck with my my two cell carriers.
25:36
SPEAKER_00: And and thankfully, my ATT works in Canada just like it does here.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: In places like Labrador, I would make it so I only meet with clients two or three days a week.
25:47
unknown: Yeah.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: And so I would just make sure I was in one of those communities and I would set up camp there and work my clients, and then after a couple of days, hit the road and be off grid, off out of touch until the next town, and then I do it again.
26:00
SPEAKER_00: That's incredible.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: What a nice little cadence you had had there.
26:03
SPEAKER_01: You know, you got in touch with people, you got to do a little work, and then you were on the road again.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: One thing that did strike me in the book is how it seemed like you met someone or a family or a couple in so many different places, and that your connection with them, even if it was a random meeting, seemed so strong and so sure in such a short amount of time.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: Am I was I getting that right?
26:33
SPEAKER_01: Because it's you're totally getting it right.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: Do you think is because you because you spent so much time alone that you were seeking out connections?
26:41
SPEAKER_01: Or is that just is that just how amazing you are as a person?
26:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, I could tell you, I'm a different person from when I left.
26:49
SPEAKER_00: So my close friends would be like, Yeah, you're still you, but even my close friends would be like, Yes.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Like my stepmom, um, she read the book and she's she was just like, and she's she's known me since I was um in my late teens.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: And she was just like, I think you had a spiritual awakening.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh and I was like, Yeah, I mean, it's not like I had like a moment where I saw a bright light or anything.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: But I think I think this experience, my my modern day walkabout, qualifies as a spiritual awakening.
27:19
SPEAKER_00: And to me, it's nothing big, it's just, you know, I slowed down to the pace of life.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: I fell in love with nature, I fell in love with myself and other humans.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: And I think because I'm not like in a hurry to get to the next place, I'm literally just cotta wobbling, which means I'm just wandering around.
27:40
unknown: Yeah.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: When I meet people, I'm just with them.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: And it's really nothing special.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: It's nothing I tried to do, but I I realized a few years in, I'm like, my goodness.
27:51
SPEAKER_00: Like I can meet, I remember it was probably 2019 or 20.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: And I was somewhere, I think on the Shenandoah Parkway in Virginia, and I'm and I was way out in the middle, nowhere on like a six or eight mile hike.
28:06
SPEAKER_00: And these two guys were coming the opposite direction.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: I hadn't seen anybody all day.
28:12
SPEAKER_00: And so I was just like, hey, you know, and people are like, Why aren't you scared?
28:15
SPEAKER_00: Two guys on a trail and you're by yourself.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, I'm just like, oh, friends, you know, like I haven't seen anybody in hours.
28:21
SPEAKER_00: And and me and these two guys stopped on the trail and we talked for maybe 15 minutes.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: And by the end, we were all in tears.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: Like we were talking about life, and I can't remember the conversation.
28:33
SPEAKER_00: I just know the feeling of it.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: And I'm with two grown burly men, and we're literally all in tears, and then we're just like, thank you, and have a nice hike.
28:43
SPEAKER_00: And you walk off, and I remember leaving them thinking, I we should have exchanged numbers or something, but it's just it's just the moment was too pure to even do it.
28:51
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I'm glad we didn't.
28:53
SPEAKER_00: It was a moment in time we connected, and then we went on our merry way, and I'll never see them again.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: But that's just continued to happen over and over and over and over again for all these years, and it's just it's a treat to to be with people like that, even if it's just for 15 minutes.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm a huge hiker as well, and I've done a couple of mountain treks, and I love it so much.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: And there's something about being out in nature, you're leaving all this distractions behind, your your iPad, your computer, your phone, all the things that make you look down, and instead you're looking up and you're seeing people, and they're seeing you.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: And like you said, it's just a moment in time where all the distractions are gone, and it's just you connecting with somebody else, and it's so meaningful in such a short amount of time.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's available all the time.
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: And we in modern society, we've just we've kind of been conditioned out of it or forgotten that.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: We're just so busy.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: We don't realize we could have the same connection I had with those guys on that trail.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: We could have that in the grocery store with the person in the aisle next to us.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: But we just forgotten and we're all in our we've got our blinders on and we're on our world and we're we're in a hurry to get home to make dinner or whatever we're doing.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: And we just, it's in the hurry part.
30:08
SPEAKER_00: It's the blinders and being in a hurry.
30:10
SPEAKER_00: We just don't see each other.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: But if we if we're just present and we're there, you could have these experiences right in your own town.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: You don't need to travel to have experiences like this.
30:20
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
30:21
SPEAKER_01: So, with being on the road for nine years, do you feel like you're still grounded?
30:30
SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of people need that, need that traditional home, those four walls, a place where they don't move to feel grounded, to feel like you are in a place and time.
30:40
SPEAKER_01: And I already know your answer is gonna be no.
30:44
SPEAKER_01: But do you do you ever feel the need to have a traditional home again?
30:50
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, in the book is I mentioned it a few times.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: And in the book, by the way, for people don't know, it's written from my journal, so it's really intimate.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: Like you get to hear stuff about me that I never had shared with a soul ever in my life, and then I wouldn't put it in a book for everybody to read.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: So you get to hear everything.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: And there's times in the book early on where I say, I'm like, man, I wonder if it's time.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: Because that when I wrote the book, it had been seven years.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I've been doing this seven years.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: I wonder if it's time.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: I wonder if it's time to settle, like find a place and grow some roots.
31:23
SPEAKER_00: And um, here we are two years later, and I'm I'm still wondering.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I have never felt more drawn to settle.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: And it's not that it's not that I think I need a grounded place because I joke around that I'm a homebody.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: It's just caughty's my home.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, like when I parker, I really don't go very far.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: Like people can't believe how many miles I put on my truck every year because it's really not that many.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Because I I just go somewhere and I'm like, okay, this is it.
31:50
SPEAKER_00: And then I just stay there a while and I'm mostly in Coty or off on a bike ride or a hike or something.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to be out in the world.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: So it's nothing like that.
31:58
SPEAKER_00: It's nothing like I need to have a home to be grounded.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: It's just I actually feel like this might be my last year.
32:07
SPEAKER_00: Really?
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Like I feel like I feel like if you found me next time, this time next year, I might have grown a root.
32:15
SPEAKER_00: Just one.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: A big one, just a small one, but it's there.
32:19
SPEAKER_00: But a root enough to where I don't know if me and Cottie will be wandering like we are now.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: I say me and Cottie, we're ride or die, like till death do us part.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: I hope I'm the one that dies and somebody can inherit my beautiful airstream.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: But I'm I'm gonna keep Cotty forever.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: But I I really am feeling that it's it's it's about time to to grow root.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: And I've even found a place that I think that root might happen in.
32:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: Can you share?
32:46
SPEAKER_01: Or is that something too personal right now?
32:48
SPEAKER_00: No, it's not.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm actually here now.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: So I'm spending the summer here in New Hampshire to kind of do a test room.
32:56
SPEAKER_00: Like I know I'm gonna leave in about six or seven weeks.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: I got here end of May, and now I've left a couple times.
33:03
SPEAKER_00: I just got back from Canada.
33:04
SPEAKER_00: I went and visited my friends with a book, Samir and family.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: I went and visited them, and I just got back a couple days ago.
33:09
SPEAKER_00: So I haven't been completely here, but I am gonna be here until early August.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm not, I don't have any plans, and I'm just seeing what it feels like.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: And boy, do I love it.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: In fact, I have some book events planned out west.
33:22
SPEAKER_00: And if I didn't have those events, I think the route might have already started taking taking route.
33:28
SPEAKER_00: But because I already have plans out west, I'm gonna go and do my normal wander and I'm gonna migrate south in the winter because I don't want to migrate to New Hampshire in the winter.
33:39
SPEAKER_00: But I'm thinking when the snow melts next year, I might head right back up here and start that root growing.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: And you know, you never know.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm not predicting the future, but I just the sickle of my soul says it might be time.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's incredible.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: And I know you will listen and honor that, which is amazing.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
33:56
SPEAKER_01: So you talked all of the benefits and what you've gotten out of it, all the good things that have come from roaming alone for so long.
34:05
SPEAKER_01: Have there been sacrifices you've had to make with this lifestyle?
34:09
SPEAKER_00: Yes, definitely.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: It is an awesome lifestyle because I wouldn't do it if I didn't love it.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: And at the same time, it's a whole lot of work.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: And there's been times.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, if you read the book, there's there's one time where I got a potty mouth and I was just dropping the bomb for like a whole page.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: But that was one of those moments where I was just like, just somebody come and take the wheel, take me home.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm done.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: I am so done.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: So there's been so many times where I'm just like, this is not fun.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: But most of the time that happens way out in the middle of nowhere, and you can't just stop.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, you're just and so and eventually I get through the hard part and then I fall back in love with this lifestyle.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: But boy, is it hard! Like it's so much simpler to just know you're gonna have running water and tons of it.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to think about where it comes from.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to plan of where to get it or how to make it last longer because you're not near water.
35:06
SPEAKER_00: You don't have to think about electricity because it's cloudy for a week, and you don't have to think about, oh, I can't turn this on or I can't run the air conditioner because I'm gonna blow my batteries, you know.
35:17
SPEAKER_00: And then two, working, there's times where it's hard to find service where I'm at.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: And I always end up finding it, but it's just like you don't realize how nice it is just to need to get online and you just turn on your computer or get on your phone, and there it is.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: Like, it's so difficult to find these things that most of us take for granted.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: And it's worth it because I've just had the experience of a lifetime, but there's been plenty of times where I'm just like, I am done.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: This is too hard, this is too much work.
35:45
SPEAKER_00: I just want to wash my clothes, make dinner, and take a long shower, you know, without having to find all the places to do that.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: Yes, exactly.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: And speaking of a couple of difficult times, you had some physical issues.
36:00
SPEAKER_01: There was a bike wreck.
36:02
SPEAKER_01: You dislocated your finger pretty grossly from the way it read in the book.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: And COVID.
36:10
SPEAKER_01: And you handled these things all on your own.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: Did that make you question anything?
36:17
SPEAKER_00: That bike front made me question why mountain biking.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, so I'm like, there comes a certain age where your fingers don't just pop back into place like they once did.
36:26
SPEAKER_00: And the other part of that story was I, you know, I didn't realize it because my finger was so ridiculously mangled.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't until I finally figured out how to get my finger fixed that I was like, oh my gosh, my rib clicks when I breathe.
36:39
SPEAKER_00: At least a rib, maybe two.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: And it literally clicked every time he took a breath.
36:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just out there in the middle of Newfoundland without service, without anything.
36:48
SPEAKER_00: But the day I dislocated my finger, I went to a little Newfoundland concert in a schoolhouse.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: And I didn't even think of COVID.
36:56
SPEAKER_00: I don't say in the book because I want to be to be timeless, but between me and you and everybody listening, it was 2023, and I just forgot COVID was a thing.
37:03
SPEAKER_00: And I went to this singing party, and everybody's in there singing and dancing, and then I have a fake broken or a messed-up finger, a broken rib, and then three days later I have COVID and I can't breathe right because I can't take a deep breath.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: And it was bad.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: I, as a paramedic, I knew I was like, okay, I have pneumonia because I can't breathe right.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm laying still.
37:23
SPEAKER_00: I have COVID, I have a broken rib.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: And they got to the point to where I was remembering Into the Wild.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: If you've read that book or seen the movie.
37:31
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
37:32
SPEAKER_00: And I was thinking about him and his bus and eating the bad, you know, plant that he thought was a nut.
37:38
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
37:39
SPEAKER_00: I didn't eat bad plants, but I I'm laying in bed, just so my blood pressure had to be nothing.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't even set up.
37:46
SPEAKER_00: My ears were ringing, my sight was going, and I was just laying, I just had to lay in bed.
37:51
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't even drink, I couldn't eat.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: And I was just thinking, poor Cottie, she's gonna stink and somebody's gonna find me out here.
37:59
SPEAKER_00: But I really thought I was gonna die, you know.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: But it was funny, I had a little, I had about 30 seconds of, oh my gosh, I really might die out here.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: And then I was just like, wow, well, this is gonna be interesting.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: Like I get to finally see what happens after you die, you know.
38:14
SPEAKER_00: Like I was just what an adventure.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: So so I really was like in a weird way, I was looking forward to seeing what was gonna happen because I really thought I wasn't gonna make it.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: And then I fell asleep for a really long time and woke up and my fever had broken, and I was just nasty and sweaty, and I could sit up without feeling like I was gonna faint.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so excited, I'm gonna live.
38:35
SPEAKER_00: So talk about cotty wampling.
38:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh to me, I feel like that's part of this walkabout is I've just learned to roll with the punches, and nothing really gets me upset.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Even dying, I was just like, well, this will be interesting, you know.
38:48
SPEAKER_00: That's the most amazing attitude I think I've ever heard.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: Another thing in the book that I loved is throughout the narrative, you have all of these sayings, these phrases.
39:01
SPEAKER_01: And I'd love to a little background of what they mean and what they mean to you and how you came up with them.
39:08
SPEAKER_01: Uh, one of which is the poof.
39:11
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
39:11
SPEAKER_01: What happened?
39:12
SPEAKER_01: What is what does the poof mean to you?
39:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just it was hard to explain.
39:17
SPEAKER_00: It that was just the the moment when I, you know, I'd seen I had had some kind of revelations out in nature.
39:23
SPEAKER_00: And then there's this this moment where I was actually responding to a client email, and it was, and I just she was asking about following your inner knowing, and she called it wisdom.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: I like to speak into whatever language they she used.
39:35
SPEAKER_00: And and so I was just kind of writing her a sweet little email, and I said, marinate in wisdom all you can and be gentle with yourself when you think you have it.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: The third line was something like, and wonder if life is unfolding the only way it can.
39:49
SPEAKER_00: And that third line I didn't know at the time.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: Like it came to my hands and it landed on the screen, and I was just like, Oh my gosh, do I even send this?
39:57
SPEAKER_00: Is this true?
39:58
SPEAKER_00: And then I thought I typed it, I need to send it.
40:00
SPEAKER_00: And so I sent it to her, but then I sat there like wow, could that be true?
40:06
SPEAKER_00: That life is just happening the only way it can.
40:10
SPEAKER_00: And everything is wisdom.
40:13
SPEAKER_00: And even when it feels like I've quote made a wrong choice, there's a reason.
40:18
SPEAKER_00: There's some reason that that happened, and it's not up to me.
40:22
SPEAKER_00: Like life is guiding me, and I'm just here being lived.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I call it the proof, because it's hard to really put words around.
40:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm doing the best I can, but it just it was all of a sudden I just felt complete freedom.
40:34
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm not in charge, and in that being not in charge, like I just realized I'm being lived by life, and all I have to do is follow the tickles of my soul and just live.
40:46
SPEAKER_00: And everything's just gonna happen in that moment.
40:50
SPEAKER_00: All my regret and all my worry just vanished because it didn't make sense anymore to regret anything because it's just what happened, and it didn't make sense to worry about something because it's gonna happen whether I worry about it or not.
41:03
SPEAKER_00: Why not just live free?
41:05
SPEAKER_00: You know?
41:06
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
41:07
SPEAKER_00: So I didn't know if I'm doing a great job explaining it, but it was just it was just like a poof.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: It was like poof, and everything's different.
41:13
SPEAKER_00: And then that was the beginning of just living such a free, kind of willy-nilly, like, oh, it's gonna be fun.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: I'll see what happens when we die, kind of life.
41:22
SPEAKER_00: Because it's just like, yeah, we'll see what happens.
41:24
SPEAKER_01: Is that where the title came from?
41:26
SPEAKER_01: The perfect unfolding.
41:28
SPEAKER_01: Are you living the perfect unfolding right now?
41:31
SPEAKER_01: The way it looks to me, we are all living the perfect unfolding.
41:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
41:35
SPEAKER_00: And for many, many years, I'd said that over like my friends probably got tired of hearing.
41:40
SPEAKER_00: It's not like I said it all the time, but I would just be like, Oh, you know, we're living in the perfect unfolding, or because sometimes it doesn't like does not feel perfect, like it sucks, you know.
41:49
SPEAKER_00: And and what's nice is I tried to really vividly describe in the book how there was plenty of time for it was not, it did not feel like perfect unfolding.
41:57
SPEAKER_00: But deep down underneath whatever was happening, I always knew even this, even how poopy, I don't want to swear on your podcast, but even how like just not great this is.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, deep down in my soul, I knew, and this is the perfect unfolding.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't understand why this is happening.
42:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why it feels like I'm suffering right now.
42:19
SPEAKER_00: But I know at some point in time I'll like to look back and be like, oh, I get it.
42:23
SPEAKER_00: That's why that happened.
42:25
SPEAKER_00: And it, I don't feel special.
42:26
SPEAKER_00: I feel like we're all living in the perfect unfolding.
42:29
SPEAKER_00: And we can kind of test this out because there's times in life where we, you know, we can look back in hindsight and be like, oh, that's why.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: Like when Wade left, I was heartbroken.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: I'd never had a heartbreak like that in my life.
42:41
SPEAKER_00: And not too long after, maybe nine months after, I look back and I said, Thank you, Wade.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: Like you did me and you both the biggest favor.
42:49
SPEAKER_00: And that's what I mean.
42:50
SPEAKER_00: There's times we can look back and see how it's the person folding, but it's really hard sometimes in the moment to know it.
42:56
SPEAKER_00: But if you know it, it changes the flavor of everything.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: After the poof, I started kind of sharing that, and that's why when I wrote a book, I just it had to be the title.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: As I wander in wonder, I am never alone.
43:11
SPEAKER_01: I love that so much.
43:14
SPEAKER_01: What do you mean by that?
43:16
SPEAKER_00: I love that too.
43:18
SPEAKER_00: When you say it, I just drop into the feeling of it.
43:21
SPEAKER_00: Cause to me, wonder is just there's curiosity and there's wonder and there's awe.
43:29
SPEAKER_00: And to me, they're all like cousins, you know, and sometimes it's hard to even tell the difference between the three.
43:34
SPEAKER_00: But when I'm in that space of just wonder, all curiosity, I'm not alone.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm in this space of being connected with everything.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:46
SPEAKER_00: I love nature, and not everybody does.
43:50
SPEAKER_00: So you might find this space, you know, in the middle of New York City.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: So it doesn't really matter where you're at.
43:56
unknown: Yeah.
43:57
SPEAKER_00: But it's about following the tickles of your soul and There's just being in awe.
44:01
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm sitting here looking at this view.
44:02
SPEAKER_00: There's this lake and there's mountains.
44:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, I see a little kayak in the lake.
44:06
SPEAKER_00: And I'm in a way, I'm just like, wow, that's just gorgeous.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful.
44:11
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not alone.
44:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm connected to everything and everyone.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: And there's been times where I've just I've been in the midst of my wandering and wonder.
44:20
SPEAKER_00: And and I'm literally the only human soul.
44:22
SPEAKER_00: There probably wasn't another human for hours.
44:26
SPEAKER_00: And yet I just, you know, a bird can fly by and I feel like I'm just as connected with that bird as I am connected with you.
44:34
SPEAKER_00: Or nothing can be there.
44:35
SPEAKER_00: I don't need anything to be there just to feel that space of awe and wonder and curiosity and know that we're just part of one big grand soup of everything.
44:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love it.
44:47
SPEAKER_01: You just you're so present.
44:49
SPEAKER_01: Everything you're experiencing, you are feeling everything.
44:53
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's admirable and it's something to aspire to, that's for sure.
44:57
SPEAKER_01: Because life gets really hectic and really busy, and to take a moment and to just to feel feel everything, see everything, see around you, it's a way to live life, that's for sure.
45:07
SPEAKER_00: And I tell you what, to me, if you can get to a place where you have a dark sky, like I don't know anybody that can't be can't have this feeling there.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: Just go outside and you look up and you just there's just thousands and thousands and thousands of stars.
45:23
SPEAKER_00: It's one of those things that until you're out in the middle, you're a hundred miles away from any city light, and you look up, like, but imagine not having to look up and see the stars to feel that.
45:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, but that that's the feeling I'm talking about.
45:36
SPEAKER_00: You're just like, oh my gosh, you know?
45:39
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
45:40
SPEAKER_01: And so the last one, I won't keep quoting you back to you, but it there is uh another one, and I could probably keep going, but I won't.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: What would you do if you knew you couldn't get it wrong?
45:53
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, you've read the book.
45:55
SPEAKER_00: You know that's one of my favorite questions of all time.
45:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: Like that's the that's the check-in for me.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: Like when I can feel that I'm not following the tickles of my soul and I might have some some ideas or some shoulds in my head.
46:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like I asked myself that question, and every time I ask it, I'm just like, oh yeah.
46:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I know now.
46:15
SPEAKER_00: So that question came up to me right after the poof.
46:19
SPEAKER_00: That was one of the things that the that I just realized.
46:22
SPEAKER_00: I was like, if I knew that everything would work out just fine, no matter what, what would I do then?
46:31
SPEAKER_00: That's another way of framing that question.
46:32
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know, so it's not saying like there's a wrong or right, it's just saying, if I knew, like it's say I have a an apples and oranges decision, and it feels like a really, really big deal.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: If I knew it didn't really matter which one I picked, it would all work out.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: If I really, really knew that I couldn't get it wrong, I can just fall into this quiet space and be like, oh, well, if I knew I couldn't get it wrong, I'd, you know, fill in the blank.
46:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's just easy.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: And to me, that question is a way for me to get out of my head, get quiet, and suddenly like really hear the tickles of my soul in a way that I maybe couldn't have five minutes before.
47:13
SPEAKER_00: Because my heart always knows, you know, if like it always, and yours does too.
47:17
SPEAKER_00: Everybody, whatever you call it, whether you call it intuition or falling your gut or following your heart or your inner knowing, whatever you might call it, we all know the feeling.
47:25
SPEAKER_00: And to me, that question is an invitation to let everything else go.
47:30
SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to do anything.
47:31
SPEAKER_00: That question, if you really listen, it'll everything else will fall away.
47:36
SPEAKER_00: And then whatever is your knowing will just be sitting right there and it'll be like, oh, well, I do that.
47:42
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to hear more about your mom.
47:44
SPEAKER_01: She features prominently in the book.
47:46
SPEAKER_01: I know that you had a complicated relationship.
47:50
SPEAKER_01: It was around the age of 13 when your parents divorced, and she dropped you and your brother off at your dad's.
47:58
SPEAKER_01: You did mention that she has joined you on your travel some.
48:02
SPEAKER_01: Can you tell me about that?
48:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
48:04
SPEAKER_00: So she got diagnosed with cancer.
48:07
SPEAKER_00: I want to say the first time was 2011, but her big like stage four diagnosis was 2014.
48:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
48:13
SPEAKER_00: And we were already, we our relationship was already getting mended.
48:17
SPEAKER_00: There was a time when I was just, you know, I love my mom more than anything I always have, but there was there was a good period of at least 10 years where we were just weren't close, even more than that, honestly.
48:28
SPEAKER_00: But we had already started mending, but then her cancer diagnosis was a huge gift because we really thought she might not make it six months back in 2014.
48:36
SPEAKER_00: We started traveling together.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: This was back when I had a house and a and a quote real job.
48:41
SPEAKER_00: But then when I got coty, it opened things up.
48:45
SPEAKER_00: So when my stepdad was still alive, she didn't want to leave him for you know weeks or months at a time.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: So she would fly to where I am.
48:52
SPEAKER_00: Like she would come visit.
48:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, she flew to Oregon once.
48:55
SPEAKER_00: She flew to California once.
48:56
SPEAKER_00: There was several times where she just would fly in, I'd pick her up at the airport, and we'd cotti womple for a week or so together.
49:03
SPEAKER_00: But then once my stepfather passed, um, she was really having a hard time.
49:07
SPEAKER_00: And this was in 2021.
49:09
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Mom, let's just go.
49:11
SPEAKER_00: And I it was like we were Thelma and Louise without the driving off the cliff part.
49:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, we hopped in Cotty.
49:17
SPEAKER_00: I picked her up at her house in Florida, and we just again went west.
49:22
SPEAKER_00: We went all over the place and made it to California and then back to Idaho.
49:26
SPEAKER_00: And and there was eventually there was a point, she didn't know we were she was gonna be gone that long.
49:31
SPEAKER_00: And there was a point in time, and she's like, I need to get home because she was gonna get her kitchen remodeled before Thanksgiving.
49:37
SPEAKER_00: She's like, I need to get home and I got stuff to do.
49:39
SPEAKER_00: She says, How we do this?
49:40
SPEAKER_00: I said, just find an airport, any airport, wherever you want to go, and I'll drive you there.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: And so she picked Billings, Montana, and she booked a ticket.
49:47
SPEAKER_00: She goes, I gotta be to Billings in two weeks.
49:50
SPEAKER_00: Just we can do whatever you want until then, but just you gotta drop me off the airport on this day.
49:54
SPEAKER_00: And so that's how it ended.
49:55
SPEAKER_00: But we ended up just being on this incredible adventure for three months together.
49:59
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
50:01
SPEAKER_00: She was the first one to come with me because I have friends come and visit for a few days or a week, but it's never long enough.
50:07
SPEAKER_00: It still feels like a vacation.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and mom was with me long enough.
50:10
SPEAKER_00: I'll always remember the moment on top of this mountain in Colorado when she just was like, I get it.
50:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh I get why you live like this.
50:20
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
50:20
SPEAKER_00: And it was and she just was in that face of, oh, I understand.
50:25
SPEAKER_00: It's this is an entirely different experience.
50:27
SPEAKER_00: This is not vacation.
50:28
SPEAKER_00: This is not even a long trip.
50:30
SPEAKER_00: This is life, and this is incredible.
50:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
50:34
SPEAKER_01: I love that you had that together.
50:36
SPEAKER_01: So, for people who are considering trying out this lifestyle, whether they're retiring as a couple or someone who wants to go cotty wampling on their own, what advice would you give to them if they're just if they're teetering on the decision or if they're just about to pull the trigger and do it themselves?
50:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, the easy answer would be, you know, follow your heart, follow the tickles of your soul.
51:02
SPEAKER_00: Your head and society will make up all kinds of reasons why this isn't the right time or it's not the right thing.
51:08
SPEAKER_00: But you know, if your soul, if your heart is saying, I want to try this, realize you're not marrying it.
51:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, I when I started, I had no idea if I was gonna do this for one year or 10, but I didn't know.
51:20
SPEAKER_00: So it's not like you're you're marrying the decision and this is gonna be something you have to do the rest of your life, but just give it a try.
51:26
SPEAKER_00: I've seen so many people not make it through the first year to just throw in the towel, wave the white flag, and be like, I'm out.
51:34
SPEAKER_00: I was close to doing that too.
51:35
SPEAKER_00: But something inside me said, This sucks, and yet I'm gonna keep going.
51:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't know why, but I just am.
51:41
SPEAKER_00: If you want to try this lifestyle out, I would say, even if it's hard, give it a year and see what's on the other side of that.
51:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:50
SPEAKER_01: Because like you mentioned early on, you said there's there's a certain honeymoon period, those first few months after you start, you're excited, you're on the road, you're finally doing what you've been thinking about for so long.
52:00
SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, you're gonna be on a high for a while, but then you settle into the lifestyle, good and bad.
52:08
SPEAKER_01: And it takes a little while to really get your bearings and really feeling like you are at home.
52:14
SPEAKER_01: So I would think you would need at least a year to discover that.
52:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and too, like I look back and yeah, I was lonely and I didn't know what I liked yet.
52:25
SPEAKER_00: I had assumed I was just gonna go stay in RV parks and resorts and whatever, you know, like because that's what people did when they full-timed.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:33
SPEAKER_00: And it took me that first a little over a year, actually, took me about a year and a few months to really figure out what I liked.
52:41
SPEAKER_00: And again, it's all about falling the tickles of your soul, but when you don't know what you like, it takes time to figure that out.
52:47
SPEAKER_00: So I think not only that year, you know, it's a whole different lifestyle that you're learning, you got to learn how to how your rig works or how to travel if you're if you don't have a rig, if you're staying in hotels or Airbnbs.
52:59
SPEAKER_00: And then you got to really find what you like.
53:01
SPEAKER_00: Give yourself that time to figure all that out.
53:04
SPEAKER_00: And what I tell people too is even if this is just for a year, I think anybody's life would be completely changed if they just did this for a year and they knew it was just for one year.
53:16
SPEAKER_00: If your soul, if your heart is pulled to do this, give it a year and see what happens, and you'll be different because of it.
53:22
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
53:24
SPEAKER_01: So take me back to Christy at 13, who's going through a very difficult time.
53:30
SPEAKER_01: What would you say to her?
53:34
SPEAKER_00: I would say you have no idea.
53:38
SPEAKER_00: Like your life is gonna be so incredible.
53:42
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, there's bumps in the road, but you're loved, and I can't wait for you to experience what's to come.
53:52
SPEAKER_00: Because most of these last nine years, every day I'm like, am I living in a dream?
53:59
unknown: Yeah.
53:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's hard days too where I don't wake up saying that, but for the most part, I just it's like I could never have dreamed this up.
54:08
SPEAKER_00: And for a 13-year-old, if that 13-year-old knew what was coming and knew, you know, I feel like even being such an independent child to having a fend for myself, that taught me so much.
54:22
SPEAKER_00: So every little piece of my life, even the really hard parts, especially the really hard parts, like this is why it's the perfect unfolding.
54:29
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't do what I I've done for the last eight and a half years had I not had all those experiences.
54:36
SPEAKER_00: And so if I could, I would tell that little girl, there's gonna be some hard spots, but oh my goodness, you have no idea what's in store.
54:46
SPEAKER_00: And just know that we're gonna be just fine.
54:50
SPEAKER_00: And I'm here rooting yawn because I can't wait for you to grow up and get to experience what I'm experiencing right now.
54:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Chrissy, that's incredible.
54:59
SPEAKER_01: I have been in awe of you ever since I began that book a few weeks back.
55:05
SPEAKER_01: Just struck me the way, the way you write, you have a beautiful way with words and just an amazing way of looking at life and appreciating what you have and what's in front of you and what's around the corner for you.
55:21
SPEAKER_01: And whether it's New Hampshire or if you just continue to cotty wumple, I wish you the best.
55:28
SPEAKER_01: It's just been such a pleasure to talk to you and to get you know to know you just a little bit.
55:33
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you, Teresa.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: This has been a real treat for me.
55:36
SPEAKER_00: And I I am blown away by the questions and your curiosity and and just your zest for life.
55:42
SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for for exploring with me today.
55:45
SPEAKER_00: It's been a treat.
55:50
SPEAKER_01: A huge thanks to Christy for sharing her story and for reminding all of us that we don't have to have it all figured out to be exactly where we're supposed to be.
56:00
SPEAKER_01: If today's conversation moved something in you, go pick up a copy of Perfect Unfolding.
56:06
SPEAKER_01: You'll find the link in our show notes.
56:08
SPEAKER_01: And if you're new here, welcome to the Roam Alone community.
56:12
SPEAKER_01: We'd love for you to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs a little permission to cotty womple through their own life right now.
56:21
SPEAKER_01: Until next time, may your world unfold exactly as it's meant to.
56:25
SPEAKER_01: I'm Teresa Stevens, and this has been Roam Alone.