Latest / Phil and H Travel - Is It Worth It? Top Travel Destinations Explored! / Is Climbing in Yosemite Still Worth It?
Transcript
- 0:00I want you to close your eyes for a second.
- 0:02Imagine you're at your desk. The fluorescent lights are
- 0:05humming. Maybe you're stuck in traffic
- 0:07and you just. You need out.
- 0:08Yeah, you picture yourself in Yosemite.
- 0:11You're channeling your inner Alex Honnold.
- 0:14You've got the racks slung over your shoulder, You're pulling up
- 0:17to the valley floor. Golden hour light is hitting El
- 0:19Capitan and you're just going to casually scale 3000 feet of
- 0:24granite and. Then grab a celebratory beer at
- 0:26the lodge. Exactly.
- 0:28It's the ultimate climber's dream, isn't it?
- 0:30The Reddit individualism, the silence, the the conquest.
- 0:35It is, it is a beautiful dream. It's it's the dream that sells
- 0:39millions of dollars of puffy jackets and carabiners every
- 0:41single year. But, and I hate to be the one to
- 0:45pop the bubble right at the start, but if we actually look
- 0:48at the logistics that, you know, the hard data and the current
- 0:51reality of the park, that fantasy is about to hit a very
- 0:55literal, very expensive granite wall.
- 0:58I had a feeling you were going to ruin this for me.
- 0:59I've been reading through this guide Vertical Ambition, and
- 1:02honestly it felt like a splash of ice water because the reality
- 1:06it describes is less majestic solitude and more gridlock.
- 1:10Widlock is putting it politely. I mean, the picture painted here
- 1:13is so starkly different from the Patagonia catalog spread.
- 1:17Totally. Instead of that breezy, solitary
- 1:19climb, the reality is often a six hour traffic jam that makes
- 1:23Los Angeles look like, I don't know, a high speed racetrack.
- 1:27Wow, you aren't casually strolling to a secluded campsite
- 1:30now you are fighting a gladiator battle for a 10 by 10 patch of
- 1:34dirt that cost more than a decent motel room used to.
- 1:37And the real kicker? And the kicker is, when you
- 1:39finally touch the Rock, You realize you are woefully, maybe
- 1:43even dangerously, unprepared for the sheer scale of the place.
- 1:48That's really the hook of this entire deep dive.
- 1:50We are stripping away the romance of Yosemite to focus on
- 1:53the brutal logistics, the genuine risks, and what this
- 1:56guide calls the contrarian surprises of the climbing Mecca.
- 2:00So here's our mission today. We need to figure out if the
- 2:03holy ground of rock climbing is actually worth the pilgrimage.
- 2:06Is it a cathedral or is it a trap?
- 2:08It's the ultimate question for any modern adventurer, right?
- 2:13And answer it. We have to grapple with three
- 2:15massive surprises that just they defy the common wisdom.
- 2:20OK, what are they? 1st the era of the dirtbag
- 2:23climber is dead and buried. You cannot live on $5 a day in
- 2:27Yosemite anymore. The economics just don't work.
- 2:30OK, that's a big one. Huge. 2nd for I'd say 90% of the
- 2:35people listening to this, the best climbing isn't on El
- 2:38Capitan. Really.
- 2:39Where is it then? It might be in a parking lot or
- 2:41on some hidden Dome you've never even heard.
- 2:43Of and the third one. This was the one that really
- 2:45stuck with me. The third one is the most
- 2:46painful. The various part of the trip
- 2:48isn't the vertical drop or the exposure.
- 2:51No, it's the grocery prices in Yosemite Village.
- 2:54That is profound and and deeply depressing.
- 2:57The fear of death is secondary to the fear of a $20 burger.
- 3:02Pretty bikes. But before we get into the, you
- 3:04know, the nitty gritty of the wallet damage, we have to set
- 3:07the tone here because despite all the hassles, there is a real
- 3:10emotional stake. Oh, for sure.
- 3:11We are talking about one of the only places on Earth where the
- 3:15physical geography forces you to confront your own mortality in a
- 3:19way that, and this is the paradox, it makes you feel more
- 3:22alive than you have in years. That's the emotional hook and
- 3:25it's why people put up with all the misery.
- 3:27But my role today is to be the wet blanket.
- 3:30I can see that. I need to set the logistical
- 3:33stakes. If you take one thing away from
- 3:34this opening, it's this. Yosemite is likely the most
- 3:38administratively stressful vacation you will ever take.
- 3:41Military grade planning, That's what the guide says.
- 3:44It requires military grade planning.
- 3:45If you show up hoping to just wing it or go with the flow, you
- 3:50will be miserable. You'll be sleeping in your car
- 3:52outside the park gates. Period.
- 3:54So let's unpack why that is. Why has it become so intense?
- 3:57I mean, it wasn't always this way.
- 3:59The research points to something called a free solo effect.
- 4:01This is a massive cultural shift.
- 4:03Ever since the documentary Free Solo won the Oscar and the Dawn
- 4:06Wall hit Netflix, the demographic of the park has
- 4:10fundamentally transformed. Yosemite used to be a sort of a
- 4:13fringe wilderness area for outcasts.
- 4:16Now it's treated like a gymnasium.
- 4:18A gymnasium? Yeah.
- 4:20You have this massive influx of what we call gym climbers.
- 4:23Right. And we need to clarify this
- 4:25distinction because I think a lot of people assume climbing is
- 4:27climbing, but there's a huge difference between pulling on
- 4:30plastic holds in an air conditioned gym in Brooklyn or
- 4:34London and, you know, staring up at a real granite face.
- 4:39It's a. Completely different sport.
- 4:40It's not even close. In a gym, the route is
- 4:42color-coded. You know exactly where your hand
- 4:45goes, the holds stick out, you get strong, build endurance.
- 4:48But then these gym crushers, these people who were super
- 4:51strong indoors, they arrive in the Valley and they just get
- 4:54shut down. Why?
- 4:55What's the disconnect? Because granite climbing,
- 4:57specifically trad or traditional climbing, is about subtlety.
- 5:02It's about friction. Explain that friction aspect.
- 5:04What does it actually feel like on the Rock We'll.
- 5:06Imagine a sheet of glass that's been sanded down just a little
- 5:09bit. That's what polished granite
- 5:12feels like. You often don't have a hold to
- 5:14grab onto, So what are you? Doing.
- 5:16You're smearing. You're relying on the surface
- 5:18area of your rubber shoe sole pressing against a blank slab of
- 5:22rock. You have to trust physics.
- 5:24You have to stand up on your feet when your brain is just
- 5:27screaming that you were going to slide off.
- 5:30A gym climber looks for a handle.
- 5:32A Yosemite climber looks for a ripple.
- 5:34And the mental game is different, too.
- 5:35In a gym, if you fall, you catch on a bolt every five feet.
- 5:38It's safe. Exactly.
- 5:40In Yosemite, you're placing your own protection.
- 5:43You're shoving these metal cams into cracks in the rock if you
- 5:46place it wrong or if you run it out.
- 5:47Run it out. What's?
- 5:48That it means you climb, say, 2030 feet above your last piece
- 5:52of gear while fall isn't just a little swing anymore, it's a 60
- 5:55foot whipper. The consequences are real.
- 5:58So you have this huge skill gap, but you also have an expectation
- 6:01gap. We talked about that fantasy of
- 6:04the solitary fish on the ledge. Social media just perpetuates
- 6:08this lie. Oh, it's all a lie.
- 6:09You see a photo on Instagram of someone dangling their feet over
- 6:12the void. Total silence.
- 6:14Golden sunset. It looks spiritual.
- 6:17But the camera frame crops out the reality.
- 6:19The reality is that on any popular route, there are likely
- 6:23three other climbing parties on that same ledge.
- 6:25You can't. No, you're literally tangling
- 6:28ropes with strangers. You're waiting for them to move.
- 6:31You're smelling their sweat. And that silence.
- 6:34That silence doesn't exist in the way you think.
- 6:36Yosemite Valley is a Canyon. It's an amphitheater.
- 6:39It traps sound. You're 3000 feet up, but you can
- 6:42hear the RV generators echoing off the walls.
- 6:44You can hear the shuttle buses beeping down below.
- 6:46That is such a vivid, disappointing image.
- 6:49The RV generator echoing up the dawn wall.
- 6:52It really highlights the geography problem.
- 6:54People forget how small the actual valley is.
- 6:56That's the critical context. The park itself is huge, but the
- 7:00famous part, Yosemite Valley, is essentially A7 mile long ditch.
- 7:05That's it. And we are pouring 4 million
- 7:07visitors a year into that ditch. So it's not a wilderness
- 7:11experience. No, and we need to stop
- 7:12pretending it is. We need to frame this as urban
- 7:16park management. The defining context of your
- 7:19entire trip will be scarcity. Scarcity of what?
- 7:22Scarcity of everything, camping, parking, solitude.
- 7:25It's a resource management game for the second you arrive.
- 7:28There's also this concept in the guide of the stadium that the
- 7:32park has become a performance space.
- 7:34I find that fascinating, the idea that you aren't just an
- 7:37observer of nature, you're the show.
- 7:39Think about it. You're on El Capitan.
- 7:42Below you in El Cap Meadow are hundreds of tourists with
- 7:45binoculars in these massive telephoto lenses.
- 7:48They are watching you. You're the gladiator.
- 7:51You are the gladiator. If you get stuck, they watch you
- 7:54struggle. If you fall, they gasp.
- 7:56It adds this whole layer of psychological pressure.
- 7:59It's one thing to be scared because you're high up and your
- 8:01leg is shaking from exhaustion. It's another thing entirely to
- 8:04be scared while a tour bus drives underneath you and you
- 8:07know 100 people are tweeting about that guy stuck on the
- 8:10ledge. Precisely if you can't handle
- 8:13the pressure of performing or just a feeling of being watched,
- 8:18this might not be the spot for you.
- 8:20It's a very public arena. You are part of the exhibit just
- 8:23as much as the Bears or the Waterfalls.
- 8:24OK, let's move from the philosophy to the concrete
- 8:28experience. Let's say we've done our
- 8:30military grade planning, we've accepted the crowds, we are
- 8:32arriving. What is that first 24 hours
- 8:35actually like? Because the drive in is supposed
- 8:37to be part of the magic. Well, let's look at the approach
- 8:40logistics. You're likely flying into Fresno
- 8:42or San Francisco. You rent your car.
- 8:45You drive the hours inward to the Arch Rock entrance and the
- 8:49first impression described isn't majesty.
- 8:51It's brace lights. It's brake lights, a complete
- 8:53standstill. It's the paradox of access.
- 8:56You're surrounded by these massive pine trees.
- 8:58The air is getting crisp, your anticipation is building, and
- 9:01you are idling. For how long?
- 9:03You're watching the bumper sticker on the Subaru in front
- 9:05of you for 45 minutes an hour, but then eventually you get
- 9:09through it and you hit the Wohwona Tunnel.
- 9:11Oh, the tunnel. I feel like even people who
- 9:14haven't been there know this moment.
- 9:16It's the classic desktop wallpaper moment.
- 9:18It's legendary for a reason and the transition is just so
- 9:21jarring. You are in a dark tiled tunnel
- 9:24for what feels like a long time and you pop out and suddenly the
- 9:28whole world just it opens up. El Cap, Half Dome, all of it.
- 9:32You see El Capitan on the left, Bridal Veil fall on the right,
- 9:34Half Dome in the back. But here's the interesting
- 9:36thing. The guy describes this as an
- 9:40uncanny valley feeling. Uncanny valley like like it
- 9:43looks fake. Exactly.
- 9:45It looks like a matte painting from an old Hollywood movie set.
- 9:48The scale is so NASA, and the air is often so clear that your
- 9:52brain can't quite process the depth.
- 9:54You lose perspective. Totally.
- 9:56You look at El Capitan and you think, oh, I could walk over to
- 9:58that wall in 5 minutes. In reality, it's miles away.
- 10:01Numbers just fail you at that point, don't they?
- 10:03You can say 3000 feet. They do. 3000 feet of granite is
- 10:07just an abstract number. It doesn't become real until you
- 10:10squint and you see these tiny microscopic specks of color on
- 10:13the wall, and then you realize, wait, those are people, and they
- 10:17are barely moving. That's when the scale breaks
- 10:20your brain. But then you descend into the
- 10:22valley, you navigate the loop, and you head to Camp Four.
- 10:25And this is where the romantic history really clashes with the
- 10:28modern reality, because Camp 4 is the Holy Land.
- 10:33It's where the stone masters lived, where the history of
- 10:35American climbing was written. It is historic.
- 10:38It is practically a UNESCO World Heritage site for climbers.
- 10:41But the reality described here is pungent.
- 10:44Pungent. The guide calls it a refugee
- 10:46camp for Patagonia models. That is a savage, but probably
- 10:50very accurate description. It's so accurate.
- 10:53You have tents pitched literally guideline to guideline.
- 10:56You have the smell of unwashed synthetic fabric, which holds on
- 10:59to body odor like nothing else, mixed with the smell of weed,
- 11:02pine dust and campfire smoke. It's gritty, it's dusty, it's
- 11:05loud. But there's an energy there too,
- 11:07right? It's not just misery and dirt.
- 11:09Oh absolutely. That's the flip side.
- 11:11Despite the conditions, everyone there is speaking the same
- 11:14language. You walk to the bathrooms and
- 11:17you hear snippets of conversation about beta.
- 11:20Beta. That's the climber sling for
- 11:22strategy. Exactly.
- 11:23Did you stick the move? How was the run out?
- 11:25Did you send? It feels like being at the
- 11:28Olympic Village for dirtbags. There was this electric buzz in
- 11:32the air. Yeah, that sense of tribe is
- 11:34powerful. Even if you're just there to
- 11:36scramble on some boulders, you feel the weight of history.
- 11:40You you can look at a rock, Midnight Lightning, for example,
- 11:42and think Yvonne Schwinnard touched that.
- 11:44Royal Robins touched that. It's intimidating, but it's also
- 11:48infectious. It creates this feedback loop of
- 11:51excitement. You ignored the dirt and the
- 11:53crowds because you feel like you're part of the lineage.
- 11:55OK, so the vibes are high, but let's talk about the finances,
- 11:58because the guide calls Yosemite a wallet vampire, which I think
- 12:02is a fantastic and terrifying term.
- 12:05This is where we need to pull out the spreadsheets because
- 12:08there is a huge misconception that climbing is a cheap sport.
- 12:11It's just rocks. Right.
- 12:12Nature is free. That's the whole point.
- 12:14Nature is free, but access to it in Yosemite is aggressively
- 12:18monetized. The guide breaks down the costs
- 12:21into tears and the accommodation is the single biggest variable.
- 12:25Let's start with the dirtbag dream.
- 12:28Can you still do it cheap? Is that even possible anymore?
- 12:31It's getting harder and harder. The dream is Camp 4.
- 12:34It costs between 6 and $10 a night.
- 12:37Dirt cheap. That sounds amazing.
- 12:39It does. But, and this is a huge but,
- 12:42it's mostly a lottery system now.
- 12:44You can't just show up and claim a spot like you could in the
- 12:4670s. You have to apply online weeks
- 12:49or months in advance. So the price is low, but the
- 12:52availability is almost 0. Exactly.
- 12:54It's like winning a scratch off ticket just for the privilege of
- 12:57sleeping in the dirt. OK so say you lose the lottery,
- 12:59which you probably will. What's the mid range if you
- 13:02aren't rich but you need a place to sleep?
- 13:04You're looking at housekeeping camp or Curry Village.
- 13:07Now listen to this value proposition because it drives me
- 13:09crazy. You are paying between 150 to
- 13:11$200 a night. OK.
- 13:13That's hotel pricing. That's downtown city pricing.
- 13:16And for that price, what do you get?
- 13:18You get a canvas tent with a door, maybe a bare light bulb.
- 13:23Wait, hold on, $200 for a tent with no bathroom?
- 13:28How do they justify that valuation?
- 13:30Monopoly, pure and simple. Where else are you going to go?
- 13:34It's pure supply and demand. You were paying for the
- 13:36location, not the amenities. The sheets might be thin, the
- 13:39tent might be a little moldy, but you were sleeping under Half
- 13:42Dome and they know you'll pay for.
- 13:43It And then there's the high end, the Aulani.
- 13:45Formerly the Majestic Yeah, This is for the one percent, 600 to
- 13:50$1000, sometimes more per night. This is for the wealthy climber,
- 13:55or more likely the wealthy tourist who wants steak dinner
- 13:58in a fireplace after looking at the cliffs.
- 14:00But for most of us, that's completely out of reach.
- 14:03And it's not just where you sleep, it's what you eat.
- 14:05The guide talks about the Walmart strategy.
- 14:07Yes, if you buy your food inside the park, you're going to bleed
- 14:10money. The smart move, the only move
- 14:13really, is to buy absolutely everything in Fresno or Modesto
- 14:16or wherever you land before you enter the park.
- 14:18Stock up on ramen. Ramen, tuna, peanut butter,
- 14:21whiskey you cook on a Jetboil that keeps your food costs down
- 14:26to around $15 a day. But if you succumb to the park
- 14:30pricing, say you're exhausted and you just crave a burger.
- 14:34It hurts. A mediocre burger is $20, plus a
- 14:38pizza is $2530. The grocery store inside the
- 14:41village has a markup of about 40% over standard retail.
- 14:45It's captive market pricing at its finest.
- 14:47And don't forget the hidden costs.
- 14:49I was shocked to read about the showers.
- 14:51You have to pay to get clean. $5 and that isn't for some spa
- 14:55experience. That's usually to stand in a
- 14:57line for 20 minutes to get a dribble of lukewarm water before
- 15:01a timer cuts you off, and that's rough.
- 15:02Then there are guide services. If you aren't an expert and you
- 15:05want to climb a classic route safely, a private guide is going
- 15:08to run you 400 to $600.00 for one day.
- 15:11So if we total this up for a hypothetical 5 day trip, what
- 15:15are we looking at? The guide gives us three basic
- 15:18bands. The dirtbag approach.
- 15:20If you get lucky with the Camp 4 lottery and eat nothing but
- 15:22ramen, you might get away with four to $600.00.
- 15:25The weekend warrior staying in those expensive 10 cabins eating
- 15:29a burger or two is 1500 to $2000.
- 15:32And the guided comfort trip. You're easily looking at 4 to
- 15:35$5000. That is wild. 5 grand to sleep
- 15:38in a valley. And here is the expert analysis
- 15:41on value from the guide. The value is high only if you
- 15:46are self-sustaining. If you bring your own gear, your
- 15:49own food, your own tent, it's magical.
- 15:52If you rely on the park infrastructure, the beds, the
- 15:54cafeterias, the quality to price ratio is terrible.
- 15:58You are paying premium prices for minimal comfort.
- 16:00OK, so we know it's crowded. We know it's expensive.
- 16:02But let's say we're committed. We're going.
- 16:04The guide outlines 3 great traps that ruin trips.
- 16:08This is the stuff that if you don't know about it, you're just
- 16:10going to have a bad time. This is the most critical part
- 16:13of the deep dive. I think Trap number one is the
- 16:15recreation.gov lottery. This is the permit system to
- 16:19just enter the park, right? Not even to camp, just to drive
- 16:21in. Correct.
- 16:22During peak season, which is basically April to late October,
- 16:27you need a reservation just to drive your car through the gate
- 16:30between 5:00 AM and 4:00 PM. The trap is thinking, oh I'll
- 16:33just grab one a week before. And I assume they're long gone.
- 16:36They vanish in minutes. They release a batch months in
- 16:39advance and then a tiny batch 2 days before.
- 16:42It's like trying to get Taylor Swift tickets.
- 16:44You are sitting there at 6:59 AM hitting refresh, heart pounding,
- 16:49700 AM hits. You click and it says sold out.
- 16:53So what's the hack? How do you beat the algorithm?
- 16:56The guide mentions an Alpine start.
- 16:58The hack is to beat the clock. You enter the park before 5:00
- 17:01AM. The Rangers don't man the booths
- 17:03until 5:00 or 6:00 AM. If you drive through the gate at
- 17:064:30 AM, there is no line, there is no need for a reservation,
- 17:10and you are legally inside the park for the day.
- 17:12So it's a secret is just extreme sleep deprivation.
- 17:15Basically, but honestly if you're there to climb in the
- 17:17summer, you should be waking up that early anyway to beat the
- 17:20heat on the wall, so it kind of forces you into a better
- 17:22climbing schedule. OK, so wake up painfully early.
- 17:24Got it. What's trap #2?
- 17:26The valley loop traffic, The geography of the valley roads is
- 17:30a nightmare. It's a series of one way loops.
- 17:33If you miss your turn. Say you missed the turn off for
- 17:37El Cap Meadow because you were looking at the view.
- 17:39You can't just make AU turn. You can't.
- 17:41You might have to drive a 45 minute circle in bumper to
- 17:44bumper traffic just to get back to where you were 500 feet ago.
- 17:48It is soul trushing. You can literally watch your day
- 17:51evaporate sitting in your car. So how do we fix this?
- 17:54Just don't drive. Exactly.
- 17:55Bicycles. The guide calls bikes the
- 17:58ultimate cheat code for the valley.
- 18:00You park your car once at your campsite, and you never move it
- 18:03again until you leave. The valley is flat, you can ride
- 18:07from Camp 4 to the base of El Cap faster than you can drive
- 18:10during peak hours, and you weave right past all the RV's.
- 18:13I love that image. Bypassing the gridlock on A10
- 18:16speed OK trap #3 this one is specific to the climbing itself,
- 18:20the gear hall and tunnel vision. This is a physical trap first
- 18:24and foremost. You look at a climbing guidebook
- 18:26or an app and the approach to the climb looks short.
- 18:29You think, oh, it's just a 15 minute walk to the base?
- 18:31But it's not a sidewalk, is it? No, it's usually a 45° slope of
- 18:36loose scree rocks that slide under your feet with every
- 18:39single step. And you're likely doing it with
- 18:42a 70 LB hall bag on your back because you're bringing water
- 18:45and gear for a big wall. So people just burn out before
- 18:48they even start climbing. They vastly underestimate the
- 18:51physical toll of just getting to the climb.
- 18:54By the time they touch the rock, their legs are shot.
- 18:56And the tunnel vision? Part.
- 18:57That's the psychological trap. Everyone comes to Yosemite with
- 19:00a checklist. They've seen the movies, they
- 19:01want to climb the nose on El Cap or Snake Dyke on Half Dome.
- 19:05They're the famous routes. Sure you want to climb the
- 19:08classics. But the result is that you spend
- 19:10your entire vacation waiting in line at a Blaze station, staring
- 19:14at someone's butt while they struggle with a knot for 20
- 19:17minutes. That sounds miserable.
- 19:18You travel all that way just to wait in line vertically.
- 19:20It is. The fix, according to the guide,
- 19:23is to embrace the obscure. Go to the cathedral Spires, go
- 19:27to Tuolumne Meadows in the High Country.
- 19:30The rot quality is exactly the same.
- 19:32It's the same granite Baphilith, but there's nobody there.
- 19:35So you have to ask yourself, do I want to climb the route or do
- 19:39I just want to climb? That's the question, do you want
- 19:41the Instagram photo or the actual exerience?
- 19:44Let's shift gears to safety because we talked about the fear
- 19:47of dying making you feel alive. But beyond just falling off the
- 19:51mountain, what are the specific, maybe less obvious dangers the
- 19:56guide highlights? Gravity is the obvious one,
- 19:58yeah, but the subtle killer here is the granite Polish.
- 20:02We touched on this earlier, but it's worth diving into.
- 20:04You have to remember millions of rubber climbing shoes have
- 20:07stepped on these exact same footholds over the last 50
- 20:10years. So it actually changes the rock,
- 20:12it wears it down it. Polishes it like a marble
- 20:15countertop. On the popular routes, the rock
- 20:18is slippery like glass. You go to step on a foothold
- 20:21that looks totally solid, and your foot just skates off.
- 20:24That is terrified. It feels like climbing on ice.
- 20:27The guide recommends peeping your hands because the granite
- 20:30crystals are so sharp they'll shred your skin.
- 20:32But trusting your feet on that Polish requires a mental leap of
- 20:35faith that most gym climbers just don't have.
- 20:37And then there's the heap. The guide calls the walls
- 20:40reflector ovens. This is simple physics.
- 20:43A S facing granite wall reflects solar radiation perfectly.
- 20:48It acts like a giant mirror. It could be a pleasant 70° in
- 20:52the valley with a breeze and 110° on the wall.
- 20:55You're getting cooked from both sides.
- 20:57You are baking from the sun above and the rock reflecting it
- 21:00from below. Dehydration is a huge risk.
- 21:03There's a story in the notes about a rescue on Royal arches
- 21:07related to this. Right?
- 21:08Right. A climber cramped up so badly
- 21:10from dehydration that they couldn't move.
- 21:13Their muscles just seized. They had to be haul off the wall
- 21:16by the search and rescue team. And they had been drinking
- 21:18water. That's the crazy thing.
- 21:20They drink plenty of water, but they drink only water.
- 21:24They flushed all the salt out of their system.
- 21:26They had no electrolytes. So the take away is bring the
- 21:28salt. Electrolytes are not optional.
- 21:31If you don't bring salt tablets or a mix, you are a rescue
- 21:34waiting to happen on a hot day. Now we have to talk about the
- 21:37wildlife. Bears, I think everyone knows,
- 21:40don't feed the bears, but the behavior described here is
- 21:45unsettlingly intelligent. The Yosemite black bear.
- 21:50The guy describes them not as Grizzlies, they aren't going to
- 21:52hunt you down and eat you, but as oversized raccoons, they are
- 21:56master thieves. They call them car peelers,
- 22:00which is a terrifying visual. It's not an exaggeration.
- 22:03These bears have learned the mechanics of vehicles.
- 22:05If you leave a scented item, even just a tube of toothpaste
- 22:09or a candy wrapper, in your Honda Civic, a bear can hook its
- 22:13claws into the top of the door frame and literally peel the
- 22:16door open like a sardine can. They know the leverage points.
- 22:20It's incredible. So bear boxes in the campsite
- 22:22aren't just a suggestion. It's federal law.
- 22:24It's federal law. If you leave food out, you get a
- 22:26huge fine and worse, the bear gets a taste for human food and
- 22:30eventually has to be put down. So it's life or death for the
- 22:32bear. And on the wall, it gets even
- 22:34crazier. How do you deal with bears when
- 22:36you're 1000 feet up? Well, if you're sleeping on a
- 22:39Portalage, a hanging tent, you have to hang your food bag below
- 22:43you on a separate tether. Why below you?
- 22:45Because if it's on the ledge with you, a bear might actually
- 22:48traverse the Cliff face, shimmying along these tiny ledge
- 22:51systems to get to it. That is a nightmare scenario,
- 22:55waking up to a bear sniffing your face on a portal edge 1000
- 22:58feet off the ground. It happens.
- 23:01They're incredible climbers. OK, we've arrived at the most,
- 23:04let's say, distinctive part of the logistical nightmare.
- 23:09We have to talk about the poop tube.
- 23:10We have to discuss it. It's the elephant in the room or
- 23:14the PVC pipe in the room. And break it down for us.
- 23:16Why do we need a tube? Can't you just, you know, go?
- 23:21If you are climbing a big wall which takes multiple days, you
- 23:24cannot just do your business on the wall and toss it.
- 23:26That used to happen in the 60s and 70's.
- 23:29The base of El Capitan became a legitimate biohazard zone.
- 23:32It was. Disgusted.
- 23:33Can't even imagine. So now the ethic and the rule is
- 23:36pack it in, pack it out. Everything.
- 23:39So walk me through the mechanics.
- 23:40You're hanging off a Cliff. You have a specialized bag.
- 23:42You do your business in the bag. Then, because you can't have a
- 23:46bag of waste just swinging around where it might RIP, you
- 23:49put that bag inside a sealed PVC pipe, and you haul that PVC pipe
- 23:53up the mountain with. You and then all the way back.
- 23:55Down and then all the way back down for days.
- 23:57That is true commitment. You are literally hauling your
- 23:59own waste for three days up a Cliff.
- 24:02It is, and the guide puts it perfectly.
- 24:04The indignity is the price of keeping the rock clean.
- 24:07If you aren't willing to haul your own waste, you have no
- 24:10business being on the big walls. It's the unglamorous reality
- 24:14behind those heroic photos. So we've got poop tubes, we've
- 24:18got car peeling bears, we've got traffic jams.
- 24:22Let's do a vibe check. What are the highs?
- 24:24Why do people put up with all of this?
- 24:26Despite everything we just said, the highs are transcended.
- 24:29The guide describes the summit of a road called Nutcracker.
- 24:32It's a moderate, beautiful route.
- 24:34The writer describes sitting on this tiny Spire at dawn, eating
- 24:37a squished bagel, and suddenly a hawk flies by.
- 24:41But because you were so high up, the hawk is thermaling below
- 24:44you. Wow, that image looking down on
- 24:48a bird in flight that completely changes your perspective on your
- 24:52place in the world. It does.
- 24:53And the silence for those 20 minutes on the summit, above all
- 24:57the valley noise, it's just wind and rock.
- 25:00That's the cathedral feeling. That's the drug that keeps
- 25:02people coming back. And the lows just to keep us
- 25:05grounded in reality. The aggression at the crags when
- 25:09you pack that many type a adrenaline fueled personalities
- 25:12into a small space. Tempers flare.
- 25:14I've seen fistfights break out over who is next in line for a
- 25:17route. Seriously.
- 25:19Oh. Yeah, and the noise collusion,
- 25:20people blasting techno music on Bluetooth speakers at the base
- 25:24of a climb, it just kills the nature vibe instantly.
- 25:26And let's not forget the hygiene reality, the pure misery of the
- 25:30Curry Village showers we mentioned.
- 25:31It's a distinct low standing in a puddle of muddy water,
- 25:35shivering, waiting for a timer to run out, it reminds you that
- 25:39you are just one of 4 million cattle moving through the
- 25:41system. So hearing all this, if I'm
- 25:44listening and thinking you know what this sounds like way too
- 25:46much stress. I want the climbing but I don't
- 25:48want the hassle. Are there good alternatives?
- 25:51Yes, the guide offers a great worth it matrix with some
- 25:54fantastic alternatives. If you want the granite but you
- 25:58hate the crowds, go to the Eastern Sierras, Bishop or
- 26:02Mammoth. That's high desert, right?
- 26:04A different vibe. Yeah, it's vastly different.
- 26:06Open sagebrush, huge mountains, but you can camp for free on BLM
- 26:10land. No gates, no lotteries.
- 26:12It's a much more chill Wild West vibe.
- 26:15What if you want that big wall experience the hanging off a
- 26:18Cliff for days part? But you don't mind sandstone
- 26:21instead of granite? Go to Zion in Utah.
- 26:23Zion is crowded too though, right?
- 26:25I've seen the pictures of the Narrows.
- 26:26It is crowded, but the guide argues the shuttle system is
- 26:29better managed and the town of Springdale right outside the
- 26:32gate has actual good food. You can climb all day and get a
- 26:35gourmet meal at night without being price gouged quite as bad.
- 26:39What about internationally? Any Yosemite lights out there?
- 26:42Squamish, British Columbia climbers call it Yosemite N It's
- 26:46a giant granite monolith called the Sheaf.
- 26:49It looks and feels just like Yosemite Rock, but the town is
- 26:53right there. You can walk from the brewery to
- 26:55the base of the climb in 20 minutes.
- 26:57No entrance fees. Friendly Canadian vibes.
- 26:59And if you absolutely must do Yosemite if it's on the bucket
- 27:02list and you have to check it. Off then combine it.
- 27:05Do 2 days in the valley. For the icons, see El Cap.
- 27:08See the falls, than get in your car and drive up to Ptolemy
- 27:11Meadows. That's the high country.
- 27:13It's the high country, about an hour drive up from the valley
- 27:15floor. It's quieter, the air is
- 27:17thinner. The rock has these golden knobs
- 27:20on it. It feels like the Yosemite 50
- 27:22years ago. OK, let's wrap this all up with
- 27:24the final verdict. Is Yosemite worth the hassle?
- 27:26Let's break it down by who you are.
- 27:28OK, if you are a dirtbag or a hardcore dedicated climber, yes.
- 27:34But with an asterisk, it's a rite of passage.
- 27:37You cannot call yourself a trad climber and not test yourself on
- 27:40the cabinet. But treat it like a mission, not
- 27:42a vacation. You were there to work.
- 27:45What if you're a mid range couple?
- 27:46You climb a bit, You want to hike?
- 27:49Maybe you're staying in one of those pricey tent cabins.
- 27:51Yes, but only if you plan ruthlessly.
- 27:55Wake up at 4:00 AM every day, except that you will be
- 27:59exhausted. This is what we call Type 2 fun.
- 28:01It's miserable in the moment while you're sweating and
- 28:04scared, but it makes for a great story at the bar later.
- 28:07For climbing, No, absolutely not.
- 28:09It's a logistical nightmare to manage safety and kids at the
- 28:12crag there. For sightseeing and ice cream?
- 28:14Sure, but be ready for traffic that will make your kids scream.
- 28:18And finally, the luxury traveler, the one staying at the
- 28:21Ahwani. Maybe the ahwani is beautiful,
- 28:23it's historic, the views are incredible.
- 28:26But the guide warns that because they have a total monopoly, the
- 28:29service often doesn't match the price tag.
- 28:31You might be paying $1000 a night and still get slow service
- 28:35because where else do you need to?
- 28:36Go. So the final synthesis, despite
- 28:38the Disneyfication, despite the costs, despite the poop tubes.
- 28:42We have to say, yes, it is worth it.
- 28:45There is simply no other valley on Earth that looks like this.
- 28:48The density of vertical relief is unmatched.
- 28:51And the rock itself. When you actually touch that
- 28:53rock, when you jam your hand into a crack that has been there
- 28:56for millennia, all the cynicism, just it evaporates.
- 29:00It remains a cathedral. It's annoying, it's expensive,
- 29:04but it's holy ground. I love that.
- 29:06So actionable take away. If you're listening and you're
- 29:08going to do it, how do you do it right?
- 29:11The best strategy is late September or October as climbers
- 29:14call it. The kids are back in school, the
- 29:16heat breaks, the crowds thin out just a bit.
- 29:19Book your campsite 6 months out to the second.
- 29:23Bring bikes. Do not forget the bikes and wake
- 29:26up before the sun. And as the guide concludes, to
- 29:28experience the wildest place on earth, you have to submit to the
- 29:31most rigid urban management. It's a paradox, but it's the
- 29:35price of admission. It is.
- 29:36Just remember to check your knots.
- 29:37See out there.