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DWDP: Crippled by Unforgiveness · More Than Medicine

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Welcome to More Than Medicine, where Jesus is more than enough for the ills that plague our culture and our country.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hosted by author and physician, Dr Robert Jackson.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Papa, can you tell me a story?
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Do you really want me to tell you a story?
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Well, you go, get your brother and your sisters and I will tell you a story.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Well, you go, get your brother and your sisters and I will tell you a story.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Devotions with Dr Papa.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Gather around, grab your Bibles and let's look into the written Word, which reveals to us the living Word, which is our Lord Jesus Christ.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I'm continuing in a series of lessons about biblical insights that I've gained from relationships with some of my patients.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Have you ever had anything to occur in your life that caused you to be angry or bitter or to struggle with unforgiveness?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: If it hasn't before, it probably will at some time in your life.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Relationships dissolve because of an unwillingness to forgive or an unwillingness to change.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Marriages dissolve because of an unwillingness to forgive or an unwillingness to change.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: My patient that I'm going to share with you today I'm going to call her Amy.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Amy was about 45 years of age, an attractive young lady, and she came to my office complaining that she could not sleep at night and that she was anxious all the time.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I asked her how long this had been going on.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: She said about one year.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: So I asked her, amy, what happened a year ago?
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: You haven't been this way your whole life, have you?
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: And she said no, sir, it started about a year ago.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: And I asked her what happened a year ago.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: She looked down at the floor.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Then she looked at me and, with a hard edge to her voice and venom in her voice, she said my son was in an automobile accident a year ago.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: He's about 20 years of age.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: She said he was riding with his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend and they were drinking.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: And she said they got into an accident and my son was thrown out of the car and he sustained a serious head injury.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: His best friend and his girlfriend agreed together to say that my son was driving, but bystanders later told the police that he was not the driver.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: He ended up in the neurointensive care unit for two weeks.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: He was unconscious for the neurointensive care unit for two weeks.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: He was unconscious for the first week when discharged from the hospital he went to a rehab facility for two months.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: And she said Dr Jackson, since then he just sits and stares out of a window, he stutters when he talks and he can't maintain his train of thought.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: He can't think clearly, he can't finish sentences, he can't drive anymore, he's no longer in college.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think he'll ever work again.
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  Speaker 2: And meanwhile his previous best friend is soon to graduate from college and he plans to marry his girlfriend.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: He's already got a good job lined up and he never comes to visit my son, who used to be his best friend.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: And she said Dr Jackson, I'm afraid to even go shopping in town for fear I might see his former best friend or his mother or some other family member.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: She said I'm so angry I could spit nails.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: And she said I just can't sleep at night and I'm nervous all the time.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: And then she just stopped talking and began to stare at the floor again.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: So she shared that story with me and I gave her some medication to help her sleep.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: And she came back to see me in a few weeks' time and we talked about it all again and I looked at her and I said Amy, have you ever thought about forgiving this young man who was driving the car?
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: And she looked at me and almost exploded and she said forgive him.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: She said I despise him.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I could never forgive him.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: And I let her cool down a little bit and I told her a story from the Bible in Matthew 18, 21 to 35.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Now I paraphrase the story, but I'm going to read it to you in its entirety.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: Peter came and said to Jesus Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Up to seven times.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Now Peter was being gracious because at that time the Pharisees taught that it was appropriate to forgive three times.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: So Peter was being extremely gracious when he said seven times.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: Jesus said to him I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Now, 10,000 talents would be millions of dollars today.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commended him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had in repayment to be made.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying have patience with me and I will repay you everything.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the entire debt.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii that means a hundred days income and he seized him and began to choke him, saying Pay back what you owe.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying have patience with me and I will repay you.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their Lord all that had happened.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Then, summoning him, his Lord said to him you wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that I had mercy on you?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: And his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: My heavenly Father will also do the same to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Now, when I shared that with Amy, she looked at me and she stared at me and she said but Dr Jackson, you don't know what that boy has done to my son and to my family, and then she gathered her purse and then she stalked out of my office.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Now I would like to say that this story had a pleasant ending, but it doesn't.
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: She continues to see me and we have a good relationship, but she's still nervous, she still doesn't sleep at night, she's still unforgiving and bitter and she still requires medication for sleep and for anxiety.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you a few questions.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: When she says to me you don't know what my commanding officer I mean, you don't know what that boy has done to my son, I responded to her Amy, it's not any worse than what you and I have done to Jesus, and yet he forgives you and me completely and repeatedly, just like the king in the parable.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Jesus forgives you and me.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: If you and I don't forgive others from the heart, then we're like the wicked servant who deserves to be thrown into debtor's prison until we pay back the very last cent.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: That didn't go over well with Miss Amy, and that was when she gathered up her belongings and stalked out of my office.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you, dear listener, who are you failing to forgive?
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: And, more than that, are you justified in withholding forgiveness?
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Let me share a couple of verses of scripture that'll be a blessing to you.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: In Psalms 103 and verse 12, the Bible says that as far as the east is from the west, so far has God removed our transgressions from before us.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: How far is the east is from the west?
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Can you measure that Our loving Heavenly Father has removed our sins from us as far as the east is from the west?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: He loves us and he forgives us.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: And then, in Isaiah 43, he says I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake and remembers your sins against you no more.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Now, do you think that God ever really truly forgets?
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Of course not.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: But it's a legal term.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: When he says that he remembers your sins no more, it means that he agrees not to bring it up against you anymore.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: In other words, no more double jeopardy.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: He doesn't bring it up against you ever again.
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  Speaker 2: When he forgives you, he blots it out permanently.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you another question what does it mean for you and me to truly forgive?
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: It means two things.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: One is we give up the right to bring up past offenses in an argument and let me make this personal have you and your spouse ever argued?
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: And then one of you begins to bring up past offenses, things that are not germane to the argument of today.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: Well, sure, you have, I know, you have my wife and I have.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: But when you do that, just tee them up, like a college basketball referee when he calls a technical on one of the players or one of the coaches.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: You see, that's a technical offense, because if your spouse says to you, well, I've forgiven you for all of that, but then they bring it up in a future argument, well that's a technical offense, because either they have not truly forgiven you or they're.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: They're being unfair, because when we forgive, we give up the right to bring up past offenses in a future argument.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: That's the first thing, that's what it means to truly forgive.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Or, number two, we give up the right to bring up past offenses in the presence of other people.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how many times in my medical office I've sat and talked with a female patient, usually with her mother in attendance, as she has lambasted her ex-husband, and I've had to put up my hand and stop them and say, ma'am, I don't have garbage can ears and I cannot listen to you trash your ex-husband.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: And then I'll say now, didn't you tell me you were a Christian and they'll say, well, yes, sir, and I'll say, well, now didn't you tell me that you have forgiven your ex-husband?
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: And she'll look at her mom and she'll look at me and then say, yes, sir, mom, and she'll look at me and then said, yes, sir, and I'll say, well, now, part of forgiveness is you agree that you give up the right to bring up past offenses to other people, including me, your doctor, even in the confidentiality of this exam room, you give up the right to bring up your ex-husband's offenses to other people, including me, your doctor, and usually she will look at her mom totally confused, because you see, people do not understand that when we forgive other people, we give up the right to bring up their offenses to other people.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: Now here's a third thing to other people.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Now here's a third thing Satan always brings up other people's offenses in our memory to try to cripple us with bitterness and unforgiveness, and he tries to get us to dwell on what they have done to us, to make us bitter and unforgiving.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: But remember this, dear believer 2 Corinthians 10 and verse 4 tells us that the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but are divinely powerful for the tearing down of strongholds.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: And believe me when I tell you that unforgiveness and bitterness are satanic and demonic strongholds in our lives that Satan will use to paralyze us spiritually.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: And you must recognize when bitterness or unforgiveness is in your heart.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: And if Satan continues to bring up those past offenses, once you have forgiven someone, then you must take that Louisville Slugger baseball bat and you must swat it as far in the left field as you possibly can and you say to the enemy of your soul that is under the blood, it has been forgiven, and do not dwell on it, put it out of your mind.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: So let me ask you a question how do we obtain victory over unforgiveness?
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Two things.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Number one we must ask God for grace to forgive.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: You see, my patient, amy, desperately needed grace to forgive that young man who had literally destroyed her son's life.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: You and I and Amy, do not naturally possess the spiritual resources to forgive people that have offended us, and sometimes the offenses are terrific.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: Sometimes the offenses are terrible and it does not come natural for us to forgive.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: Only God can forgive and only Holy Spirit living in our hearts can give us grace to forgive great offenses.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: And we must ask God for His grace to enable us to forgive.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: And then, by faith, we have to trust God for that grace.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: And then we have to go a step further and this is even tougher.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Boys and girls, we have to pray for those who despitefully use us.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Jesus tells us in the Sermon on the Mount that we have to pray for those who despitefully use us and we have to pray a blessing over them.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: And you will not obtain victory, spiritual victory, until you begin to pray a blessing over those who have offended you, wronged you or taken advantage of you.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: And you must understand that there is a spiritual healing that takes place in your spirit, in my spirit, when we begin to pray a blessing over our abuser, over the person who has taken advantage of you.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: It creates a spiritual freedom, a freedom of spirit, and allows Holy Spirit to work unhindered in our lives to make us like Jesus, and we then become an unobstructed channel of spiritual blessing.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: In the Lord's Prayer there's a sentence that says Father, forgive our transgressions even as we forgive those who transgress against us.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: When you say that line, do you really mean that?
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Do you really mean that you want God to forgive you in direct proportion to the way that you forgive other people.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Oh my, that's a serious question, isn't it?
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Do you want God to forgive your transgressions in the same way that you forgive those who transgress against you?
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: That's a serious prayer, that's a serious ask.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: And before you pray that, you better be sure that you are completely and totally forgiving everyone who has ever offended you.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: That's exactly what you're praying in the Lord's Prayer.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Now let me finish with this verse Ephesians 4.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: God forgave you.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Brothers and sisters, it is a uniquely Christian thing to forgive.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: You see, only God forgives, and it's God in you and me that enables us to forgive those who offend us.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Forgiving each other just as in Christ, god forgave you.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Don't be like Amy.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Be like Jesus.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: God forgave you in Christ.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: God forgave you and me.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Let Jesus in you work through you to forgive those that have offended you, and it will give you spiritual freedom, it will give you spiritual power and it will make you an unobstructed channel of blessing.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: You're listening to Devotions with Dr Papa.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: If you like what you hear, share it with your family and friends.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Like, follow, follow and share, and we'll be back again next week and may the Lord bless you.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Real good thank you for listening to this edition of More Than Medicine.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: For more information about the Jackson Family Ministry, Dr Jackson's books, or to schedule a speaking engagement, go to their Facebook page, Instagram or their web page at jacksonfamilyministrycom.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: This podcast is produced by Bob Sloan Audio Production at bobsloancom.