Latest / The Unfiltered Engineer / Ep 5: What I Didn't Say on Tape (Solo Reflection)
Transcript
- Vishakha (Vish): Hello and welcome to The Unfiltered Engineer This episode is gonna be different. I did not have a guest today, but there is a reason. There is something that I started doing about five, six years ago, which was reflecting, and I wanted to bring that in into my podcast just because I realized after reflection that there were some things that I wanted to change, but here the goal really is to. Take in what I've talked about with my guest and get my own takeaways from these conversations and see where it takes me. And if I wanted to improve on anything, this is where I will do it. and also look at what the guest said, what they didn't say, or wherever I wanted to disagree, and the things that were not actually in the episode is what's gonna happen here. every four episodes I'm going to pause and do this, sit down by myself and actually listen back to what we just talked about. It's not a recap, it's also not a highlight, but it's just the things that surprised me, the things I disagreed with and didn't say out loud, or the questions after the conversation that I'm sitting with. so this is episode five. I went back through Eduardo's Kate's Noble's and Dan's episodes. And here's what I found. So what I expected and got wrong was it's essentially like an assumption I made before going into these conversations. So going into Noble's episode that was about impact over effort, I assumed understanding the right matrix to measure was the hard part. And just adding a number I thought would show impact. Turns out that's not necessarily true. And then going into Dan's episode, I expected something more concrete about writing a framework, a process for building content and like you know, just having a little more structure, but It was so different from what I had expected. Now, what surprised me? From Noble's episode, the measuring impact in terms of complexity was the one thing that really took me by surprise. Like doing something that looks like small minimal optimization and it turns out to be a horror story underneath was another bit of surprise. And the actual solution to measuring impact isn't really a dashboard. It's actually just simply talking to your team and your leader. So like these three things were what really gave me like a light bulb moment. And from Dan's episode, He was so light about it. He said, Don't try to be somebody you're not and write what you're already thinking about. And that felt a lot more easier to achieve than coming up with like an absolute amazing content. So if you go back to my profile on LinkedIn, look at my posts from December. And that's where I was at. Like I wanted it to be so perfect, so nice. And like drawn from my experience, which I think is still true. I would want my post to be drawn from my experience. However, I spent so much time thinking about them. And when Dan Dan came on to the episode and it's like just write what you're thinking about. It kind of removed all this burden about making it perfect or like not necessarily talking about the only technical things or only the things that I worked on. So that felt very relieving. The third piece I think of this episode that I wanna have is what I disagreed with and never said out loud. This is the piece where when I'm recording the episode, I don't get enough time to sit back and see, do I really agree with this? Like when I'm recording the episode, my focus is mostly on getting my questions ready and when I'm listening, if there is it's more quicker, but this is the place where I Take the time and sit with, like, do I agree with this really? So in Eduardo's episode, he compared this shift, like AI to compilers and agile tooling. And if you see that he draws an arc, like we've had changes in the industry before. And like AI is one of the bigger changes. But tools like compilers and the agile methodology, all these stayed inside. in engineering and I didn't say it out loud but I realized later that AI breaks that boundary it helps building it hands like a building power to non-engineers too and that felt like a bigger disagreement than it turned out to be like the more I I sit with it the more I think he's actually right like A salesperson can wipe code a SaaS product into existence, but making it sustainable, scalable still needs engineers. So the real problem isn't that engineers are becoming obsolete, it's that we can start to feel obsolete while knowing internally that the craft we bring is very real. So it's not necessarily like that I disagree with. But I think this was the uncomfortable part that I was sitting with, that AI feels different because of that reason, because it crosses that engineering boundary. And then for Kate's episode, Kate talked about the stoic view, expecting everything to fall apart as a way to stay grounded. I did not push back on that on tape, but here's where I am thinking about it a little more. That framing really depends on who's hearing it. So if I said that I'm prepared for everything that goes wrong or falling apart, but if you say that to a pessimistic person, they might just give you a reason to quit. They'd be like, Why do it at all? I think there's more use in hoping for the best, but while preparing for the worst and not leading with the worst as a default lens? And I think that's what Kate meant to, but I do feel like leading with just that idea that everything's gonna fall apart or what if everything breaks may not be the correct thing to go on with, depending on your audience, right? And then for Noble's episode, Noble said that answer to the answer to measuring impact is talking to your leaders. It's it's easier said than that. Right. There is responsibility, I think, on the leaders too, to mentor and guide their team into understanding how their team impact ties into business impact. And I learned that a lot later. I didn't have enough people who would guide me through it. And yeah, sure, they would tell me, like, make sure that your your impact kind of ties into what you're doing for the business. But Nobody kind of spelled that out, at least in my initial years in my career. Like I feel like if that had happened, it would have made so much difference in my approach to solving things. Like I would have been able to identify what thing needs to be resolved versus what not, instead of looking at it from only the self-growth perspective. So I think it has to be both ways, not just ICs doing the reaching. They also need to come and give examples. The leaders also need to sit down with their team and explain that this is the OKR and this is what our team is gonna be doing. and I did fortunately I had this example with me in my past few years on my experience. So I completely appreciated that piece of my quarterly meetings with the entire org or the team. for Dan's episode, he said that it's easier to comment on other engineers' posts to build connection. Like it's not necessarily a disagreement, but you're trying to connect with your peers, let's say, but there are hardly any engineers who are posting or maybe they are. But they're already moving away from the traditional job aspect. Or that's how I feel. I don't see a lot of engineers posting. But if not all engineers are actually posting, how can you connect with someone other than DMs or you yourself posting? So Quite a lot of my feed is on LinkedIn is filled with freelancers or people not necessarily where like where I want to work. It's I find a lot of good content. There is no doubt about it. It's just the mismatch of if you're in the market to find a job on LinkedIn, like not all engineers would be posting. And even if they do, they're probably writing a an article here and there. So essentially like figure out to his point, like just figure out who's your target of that engagement. And I personally feel that I've found so many other people like giving talks and freelancers or people who are sharing good great tips. But yeah, I like that about my feed. But if I had to talk about like building connection with the specific person, it's hard if if job search or like connecting with the person there is your goal for for like getting an opportunity or even getting to land on a coffee chat. Where I am different now, like the next piece is what is my takeaways, how I have implemented that in my real life. and I'll go through each one of the episodes. So for Eduardo's episode, once I had that conversation with him, I had so much less anxiety and a lot more compassion for that whole AI bubble. I realized that I'm trusting myself more and sure there is a piece about like you know is AI gonna take away jobs, but now I do feel that I'm weighing heavy on the other side of it, that no AI still needs human judgment and I still can improve on my craft. I still have a lot to give to an organization, contribute to an organization, and they can gain a lot from me so. it's both ways. I think that feeling if you do things from a feeling that, is my job even relevant, then you don't then there is a lack of motivation and you don't get the results that you want. But instead if you approach it from this perspective, that even though AI is writing code, I still have that judgment in me. So and after Kate's episode, I started I think I was asking more questions, but also like getting more curious, especially with people outside my own scope of knowledge. And I think that also brings in this skill in my podcast. Like when I'm l asking other people, you'll see me asking more smaller questions, more things or techniques that they talk about and I don't understand it. I would ask it in the episode itself, because I do think that other people might also be struggling, but also like just get curious on why they approach something the way that they do. So and for Noble's episode, I realized that measuring impact is always possible. Like walk in with this idea. No matter what team you're on, you can always measure the impact and I'm gonna invest. I think the next piece that I'm going to do differently is investing time in reading and talking to leaders about how they measure it. if there is no obvious way to do it. For Dan's episode, I'm writing what I'm actually thinking about. So I would say that I've stopped overthinking whose comments I whose posts I comment on. But I'm trying to be a little more relaxed about it and being okay with the idea that I'm gonna post the way that I think about it without the use of obviously AI. but I also like fair disclosure, like I do sometimes correct my grammar with AI. There are things that I just like let it out in my head that I want to talk about this and then I collect my thoughts and I rewrite, I re-say the whole thing to AI to kind of compress in a way that it makes it a little more readable in my opinion. But also I'm the only one thinking this much about my content. So I'm going to lower that pressure on myself. And the last bit Questions I'm still sitting with. if I had Eduardo back, I'd ask him, how do you hold on to your own sense of value? Like when the outside view of your actual role is shrinking faster than the truth of it. Like you can speak to other people in other roles, and they'd probably give you different aspects, like especially the ones who are building newer products. They will tell you, like, what's the big deal about this engineering or software engineering? But how do you hold on to that, your own sense of worth and value? regardless of the outside view. Kate for Kate, I I still don't have an answer to like how do you know the line between healthy deliberation and overthinking? When do you just stop examining? And just act. For Noble, I want to know in smaller organizations where instrumentation isn't established, like startup scale, where do people even learn how to build that? Right? And they they could learn from multiple places, I guess, like conferences and people like himself. And I would probably speak to a lot more leaders in different industries who have done this before. But does he have a way that he would approach it or any stories that anybody else has on how they have approached it? And with Dan, I want to go deeper on the four pillars of career fitness. We only really covered goal clarity and network strength. I still don't have a real way to measure my own career fitness, which isn't just follower counts or post counts or like something. quite measurable. Like my maybe my network strength is my count, but then how do you go about measuring that? So observability for my career fitness is what I would love to dive deeper on. Now my closing the same questions that I ask every guest this time it's for myself. My takeaway is my looking back on these episodes, it gave me A fly on the wall observation. Like, I had so much cringe when I started watching my first episode. I was like, I don't think I can do this. I cannot watch myself or I cannot hear myself. But that wasn't true. The more I focused on the conversation, that cringe went away in like two minutes, and I realized that. Self-praise, I ask good questions. So I love that about myself that I do ask good questions and I do value these conversations. And once I listened to all of these conversations, it was almost like huh, different perspective. Because I didn't remember when I did those conversations, like the whole bit and pieces of it. But now when I re-listened, I found other things that I wanted to sit with and chew on. What am I reading or watching right now is I'm reading Chatter and by Ethan Cross. Ethan Cross and I'm also reading No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz and both of these are books that are very much focused on like dealing with your inner voice or the chatter that goes on in your head and meeting with parts of yourself that you know when you sometimes get angry, jealous, and other uncomfortable feelings and really sitting with them, all in all, I would say like both of these books lean heavily on loving yourself, being compassionate to yours towards yourself, being kind to yourself, because that's how you can be the best version of yourself. And how I'm disconnecting One of my favorite ways to disconnect is usually journaling or drawing or painting something. But I'm also a life coach. So I find this very life giving to be able to speak with people and guide them. And I do that a few times in a month, only a couple of places, but I find that that's something that I really enjoy doing apart from s like stickers, journaling, writing and of course being with my kid like she just brings me back to my present moment. now I'm realizing I also go for dog walks. sitting out in the park is one of the best ways that I can connect with nature and it immediately grounds me Yeah, that that's four episodes down and four more before the next one of these. And thanks for sitting with me through this one. it'll be back to guests from the next episode onwards and I'm hoping to continue this like at fifth, tenth, and fifteenth. Let me know like in the comments if that's something that you liked hearing or you'd want me to change anything. But this was again a little bit experimental. I did find that re-listening to these conversations from another perspective was very interesting for me.