Latest / Chuck Douglas / National Forgivness Day with Dr Debi Silber

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National Forgivness Day with Dr Debi Silber · Chuck Douglas

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Greetings, salutations, welcome, my friends, to another edition of the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Power Hour on 610 WTV. And I'm Chuck Douglas. You
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: know who you are, and we take it from there.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: We get one hour together, which means I talk really fast,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: and you must listen even faster. My number, 821-9886, 821-WTVN, 1-800-610-WTVN.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: And today, the 1st of September, when, you know, autumn
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: is in the air someplace other than here, and temperatures
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  Speaker 1: in the 90s, man. but football this weekend, something's got
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  Speaker 1: to give and it will. Today is also on the calendar.
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  Speaker 1: They've got all those, those crazy goofy holidays and observances national,
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  Speaker 1: you know, don't pick your teeth day and national peanut
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  Speaker 1: butter without jelly day and all that kind of stuff.
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  Speaker 1: What are they called? They're not really holidays. Zach, what
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  Speaker 1: do you call those?
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  Speaker 2: I don't know, but a national, what every single person in, uh,
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  Speaker 2: My age group that was high school or college age
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  Speaker 2: had a poster up that said national reasons to party
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  Speaker 2: on this day.
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  Speaker 3: National peanut butter and jelly day. If you're going to
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  Speaker 3: go out and party, eat.
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  Speaker 2: A PB & J.
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  Speaker 3: Like it was just there was a day for everything.
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  Speaker 1: There seems to be a day because, you know, all
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  Speaker 1: kinds of stuff. And most of them are frivolous and
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  Speaker 1: silly and so forth. But I found one today. I
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  Speaker 1: came across one today. I thought, you know, that actually
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  Speaker 1: sounds kind of touching. September 1st. National Forgiveness Day. Which
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  Speaker 1: I am admittedly not an expert at talking about. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: I'm adorable, but I'm evil. And I carry a grudge
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  Speaker 1: like some people carry groceries, man. It is my nature.
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  Speaker 1: But National Forgiveness Day. I thought that actually sounds like
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  Speaker 1: something kind of nice. Even though... I'm not going to
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  Speaker 1: be putting up a forgiveness tree or anything like that.
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  Speaker 1: But but for other people, it might be a good thing.
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  Speaker 1: This is the creation of Dr. Debbie Silver. She's the
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  Speaker 1: founder and CEO of what's called the PBT Post Betrayal
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  Speaker 1: Transformation Institute. And that that title in itself sounds a
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  Speaker 1: little intimidating. But Dr. Debbie Silver, I want to thank you,
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  Speaker 1: first of all, for joining me tonight to tell me
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  Speaker 1: what was the inspiration here with National Forgiveness Day? What
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  Speaker 1: made you come up with this?
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  Speaker 4: For people like you. Thank you. Thank you for having me.
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  Speaker 4: It's one of the hardest and one of the most
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  Speaker 4: liberating things we can do. The idea was, can you
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  Speaker 4: go from angry, bitter, and resentful to forgiving and free
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  Speaker 4: with intention and group support? And we've proven it over
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  Speaker 4: and over again. The answer is yes.
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  Speaker 1: Have you ever, and this is going to sound like
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  Speaker 1: an odd question, but it's not because I know me.
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  Speaker 1: Have you ever found somebody who was ultimately better off
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  Speaker 1: just in their way of seeing life, their way of
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  Speaker 1: dealing with life and its stresses and so forth, when
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: they had their angst about them instead of the forgiveness?
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  Speaker 1: Did it ever backfire, I guess is what I'm saying?
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  Speaker 4: Never, because forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with the
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  Speaker 4: other person. It releases the power all that pain has
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  Speaker 4: over us. So when you look at it from that perspective,
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  Speaker 4: it doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you a sucker.
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  Speaker 4: It doesn't mean you're setting yourself up for it to
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  Speaker 4: happen again. It means you value yourself enough to let
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  Speaker 4: it go. You free yourself. Your health rises and increases.
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  Speaker 4: You feel better. You feel free. All the good things.
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  Speaker 1: See, I'm one of those people that would make you
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  Speaker 1: nuts because you'd need another Ph.D. just for me. No, thanks.
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  Speaker 1: This is something that's just a couple years old. 19,
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  Speaker 1: or I'm sorry, 2020. 19! Did you hear me say 19, Zach?
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  Speaker 1: 2023 is when you found the National Forgiveness Day, right?
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  Speaker 4: Right, correct, correct.
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  Speaker 1: As you're only three years into it, before you leave
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  Speaker 1: The Rock, how would you like to see it observed?
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  Speaker 4: You know, I would love to see someone start with
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  Speaker 4: maybe not the person that really is the biggest trigger
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  Speaker 4: for them, but were they passed over for the promotion?
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  Speaker 4: Was there a sibling rivalry? Was that friend... You know,
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  Speaker 4: did they have an issue? Something that is manageable. And
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  Speaker 4: can you look at it and say, you know what?
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  Speaker 4: It's costing me in my health, in my sanity, in
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  Speaker 4: my well-being. And for my sake, I'm going to let
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  Speaker 4: this go. It doesn't mean I'm rebuilding. It doesn't mean
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  Speaker 4: I'm reconciling. And can you do something with that? And
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  Speaker 4: you'll be shocked at how much better you feel.
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  Speaker 1: I guess I'm an anomaly because I tell my wife
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  Speaker 1: this all the time. My favorite phrase, as much as
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  Speaker 1: it annoys some people, it is what it is. I
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  Speaker 1: don't necessarily forgive. I mean, there's one from high school
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  Speaker 1: 40 years ago that I'm still angry about. But I
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  Speaker 1: don't waste my time being angry. It just goes in
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  Speaker 1: that file cabinet in my head that goes, okay, these
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: are people that suck. And I just move on from it.
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  Speaker 1: I really do carry it. If I saw them today
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  Speaker 1: and they had a flat tire– Unless they were in danger,
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  Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't stop to help. But it doesn't bother me.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm weird. I'm just a weird person. Am
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  Speaker 1: I unusual in that, or is that more common than
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  Speaker 1: I think it is to have it, but it doesn't
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  Speaker 1: bother you?
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  Speaker 4: It's very common, but as much as you say it
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  Speaker 4: doesn't bother you, if you were to see them or
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  Speaker 4: if you were to hear how successful they were or
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  Speaker 4: something great came their way, then do a check and see,
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  Speaker 4: does it really not bother you? Because if you were triggered,
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  Speaker 4: it's still in there.
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  Speaker 1: Now, you've got a doctorate. Are you a psychologist? Is
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  Speaker 1: that what your doctorate is in?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I'm in business 35 years, health mindset,
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  Speaker 4: personal development, and then once launching the PBT Institute, it
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  Speaker 4: was as a holistic psychologist. I have a proven way
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  Speaker 4: to help people move through betrayal, and forgiveness is on
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: the other end of that. And again, it doesn't mean
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  Speaker 4: you're rebuilding. It doesn't mean you're reconciling. It means you
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  Speaker 4: just value yourself enough to let this go for your sake.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: And that word betrayal, is that always an up-close-and-personal thing?
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  Speaker 1: Because I'm a firm believer that you can be distanced
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  Speaker 1: from someone, and their conduct, their actions, their decisions can
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  Speaker 1: still be kind of a nail in your coffin, if
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  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's just like I wasn't
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  Speaker 1: even that close to you, but you managed to really
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  Speaker 1: mess things up for me for a little while, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm not real happy about that.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, betrayal is a shock to the body,
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  Speaker 4: to the mind, to the heart, and the way it
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  Speaker 4: works is the more we trust and the more we
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  Speaker 4: depend on someone, the deeper the betrayal. So, for example,
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  Speaker 4: a child who's totally dependent on the parent and then
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  Speaker 4: the parent does something awful, that's going to have a
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  Speaker 4: different level of impact than, let's say, your best friend
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  Speaker 4: sharing your secret, your co-worker taking credit for your idea.
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  Speaker 4: You know, still a betrayal, different level of impact.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: What do you do for observance of the day? I mean,
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  Speaker 1: you created it. Do you is there anything special that
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  Speaker 1: you do with your day just on this day each
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  Speaker 1: year so far for the last three years where it's
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  Speaker 1: kind of your own personal way of observing National Forgiveness Day?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I do a check. Who do I
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  Speaker 4: need to forgive? And I just make sure it's being
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  Speaker 4: celebrated everywhere because we have seen year after year, this
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  Speaker 4: is the fourth year, hundreds, hundreds of people just you know,
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  Speaker 4: celebrating and making those phone calls and letting it go.
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  Speaker 4: And so, you know, the more awareness there is out there,
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  Speaker 4: the more opportunities to forgive and let go. And so
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  Speaker 4: I just want to help spread the word, and I'm
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  Speaker 4: so grateful for people like you who help.
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  Speaker 1: Us do just that. And is it like, you know,
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  Speaker 1: kind of an AA thing? Do you need to forgive
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  Speaker 1: them personally? You need to tell somebody they're forgiven, or
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  Speaker 1: is it just a resolution in your own mind?
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  Speaker 4: You can totally, you can, and you absolutely don't have
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  Speaker 4: to at all. I'll tell you a quick story. We
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  Speaker 4: had a woman who came into the program in her mid-80s.
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  Speaker 1: She had a.
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  Speaker 4: 70-plus year digestive issue. Forty-five percent of everybody betrayed has
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  Speaker 4: a gut issue of some kind. Seventy-plus years from a
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  Speaker 4: family betrayal. She was adopted. They didn't tell her something
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  Speaker 4: like that. Two weeks into our forgiveness program, she healed
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  Speaker 4: from a 70-plus year digestive issue. That's what happens when
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  Speaker 4: you forgive.
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  Speaker 1: There's your selling point. That goes on the billboards right there. Dr.
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  Speaker 1: Debbie Silbert, tell me, website, social media, how do people,
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  Speaker 1: if they're listening right now and say, I want to
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  Speaker 1: find out more about this forgiveness thing, how do they
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  Speaker 1: do that?
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  Speaker 4: Well, you could go to thePBT, as in Post Betrayal Transformation, thePBTinstitute.com.
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  Speaker 1: And is that, what's the word, is it very interactive
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  Speaker 1: or is it more of an informational site?
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  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, there's more than information there, and you can
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  Speaker 4: even go straight to National Forgiveness Day if you just
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  Speaker 4: want to get to the Forgiveness Day program, and then
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  Speaker 4: my name on social media, Debbie Silber.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: All right. I appreciate you, by the way, with your curriculum.
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  Speaker 1: I don't even know where you are, if you're coastal
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  Speaker 1: or if you're in Mid-America like I am or not,
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  Speaker 1: but Your response time was impressive this morning, and I
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  Speaker 1: appreciate that.
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  Speaker 4: That's the New Yorker in me.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, there you go. It comes out. I appreciate it.
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  Speaker 2: Dr.
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  Speaker 1: Debbie Silber, thanks very much. I'll get you linked on
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  Speaker 1: the Facebook and the Instagram and all that kind of
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  Speaker 1: stuff tonight, and hopefully a few people will check this out.
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  Speaker 4: Thank you so much. Happy National Forgiveness Day, everyone.
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  Speaker 1: And the same to you. I appreciate your time. Zach, seriously,
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: get me a forgiveness treat. I want to put one
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: up in the studio.
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  Speaker 3: Whatever.
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  Speaker 1: Do you carry grudges?
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  Speaker 3: Always.
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  Speaker 1: I'm being serious.
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  Speaker 2: Do you?
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  Speaker 3: I don't give a– it's like people go, ah, do
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  Speaker 3: you burn– I don't burn bridges. I demolish them. So
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  Speaker 3: by that point, people probably have a grudge by me.
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  Speaker 1: I mean I seriously do. I was being quite honest
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  Speaker 1: with her. Now I can tell. But I don't– there's.
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  Speaker 3: No– It doesn't affect your daily life.
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  Speaker 1: Right. I don't waste my energy worrying about it. It
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: is what it is. Right. And I literally do have–
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: there's a couple of people from high school that I
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  Speaker 1: will– I'll take it to my grave. And I know
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: I will. And it's not that– what's the word I'm
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: looking for? It wasn't a flagrant– assault to my existence,
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  Speaker 1: but it was just, it was, you know, just something
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: obnoxious that didn't need to be done that, that they
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: did out of a self-centeredness and basically took away something
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  Speaker 1: that I should have been able to enjoy. Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: Fair.
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  Speaker 1: And so I, I can't, uh, I can't let stuff
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  Speaker 1: like that go. And it doesn't bother me that I
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: can't let it go. It just, it, it, It bothers
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  Speaker 1: me that people made me hold on to it in
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  Speaker 1: the first place.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a couple of people.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I got a couple of people in my
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  Speaker 2: family that I won't, nothing. Like it's, there's a wall
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: there that won't ever come down.
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  Speaker 1: See, that's rough when it's family. That's very difficult. And again,
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  Speaker 1: I say this all the time. The only people, the
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  Speaker 1: only people who can truly hurt you are people you
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  Speaker 1: care about. Everybody else, quite frankly, is expendable. When it
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: comes to stuff like that, nah. But when it's your spouse,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: your parent, your kids, you'll do anything for them to
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: care for them and to protect them, and then they
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  Speaker 1: do something to hurt you, that is, yeah, that's where
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: it gets real. That's where it gets real. And I really,
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  Speaker 1: I pity people who can do that to somebody. That's,
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  Speaker 1: that's something that if you were able to hurt somebody that,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: you know, cares for you just blatantly to man, it's
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: the person you hurt. That's not their problem. It's your problem.
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  Speaker 1: You should have been a better human being than that.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: So maybe there is something behind national forgiveness day, but
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: I'll get that linked on the, the Facebook page here
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  Speaker 1: after the show, in case you would like to check
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: out Dr. Debbie and what national forgiveness day is all about.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I just thought, with all of the ridiculous, silly, meaningless
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: national days out there, I came across that and I thought, hey,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: you know, that's a positive, so let's talk about it.