Latest / Difference Makers Podcast / Kingsley Aikins - Why your next opportunity is hiding in your weakest connection
Transcript
- 0:14Sinead Donovan: Welcome back to everybody to this episode of Difference Makers Discuss.
- 0:18Sinead Donovan: Um, I hope you enjoyed part one of our chat with Kingsley Akins.
- 0:22Sinead Donovan: Um, we are going to continue our chat with part two, and if you remember, it is about everything to do with networking and how it benefits you, the profession, and indeed your country, as you will hear next.
- 0:34Sinead Donovan: But moving on, um, Kingsley, you are doing an awful lot of work and sharing your expertise now in what I kind of call the the net the global network and um the the the diaspora and how countries, jurisdictions engage the diaspora.
- 0:53Sinead Donovan: Tell us a bit about that, uh maybe explaining in the first instance the phenomenon of a diaspora.
- 0:58Kingsley Aikins: Yeah, I mean diaspora is actually two Greek words, dia meaning over and spiro meaning scattering, was first used with reference to the exile of the Jews from Babylon in the 5th century BC, and it was always associated throughout history with Israel and with the Jews.
- 1:13Kingsley Aikins: But what was once the preserve of those countries has now kind of gone mainstream.
- 1:18Kingsley Aikins: So there's 305 million people now living outside the country they were born in.
- 1:23Kingsley Aikins: So that's double what it was in 1970.
- 1:25Sinead Donovan: Sorry, 305 million people living outside outside the country they were born in.
- 1:30Kingsley Aikins: In other words, you know, mobility uh is has been like never before.
- 1:35Kingsley Aikins: And you know, the great migrant uh except in countries like you know, the United States or Canada or Australia, etc.
- 1:42Kingsley Aikins: But but so there's huge numbers of people live outside the country they were born in.
- 1:46Kingsley Aikins: So are they lost actors or are they national assets?
- 1:50Kingsley Aikins: You know?
- 1:51Kingsley Aikins: So certainly uh you know, as I said, Israel was the early leader.
- 1:56Kingsley Aikins: I mean, one of the great leaders in the world, in this space in the world today, is actually India.
- 2:00Sinead Donovan: Okay.
- 2:01Kingsley Aikins: I mean, you think we did an Indian prime minister in Great Britain with an interesting Taoiseach here.
- 2:05Kingsley Aikins: Yeah, Indians, there's 400,000 Indians in Silicon Valley.
- 2:08Kingsley Aikins: Um, they're highly educated, they're really smart, they're hardworking, they're driving the tech industry.
- 2:12Kingsley Aikins: Some of the great tech companies of the world are run by Indians.
- 2:16Kingsley Aikins: Now, India up till 2002 showed little interest in the Indian diaspora.
- 2:21Kingsley Aikins: And in that year, um uh Vajpuri government they instituted a global survey of the Indians abroad, the Indians.
- 2:30Kingsley Aikins: And and it was a massive thing, went on for a couple of years.
- 2:33Kingsley Aikins: And what this the diaspora of India said to the Indians that you know um they were pretty harsh on them, said you're quite corrupt, you're quite bureaucratic, um, we don't feel we've much say.
- 2:45Kingsley Aikins: And they introduced a whole series of different rules and regulations, and they started a conference of the Indian diaspora every year.
- 2:52Kingsley Aikins: Thousands of Indian CEOs go back every every February.
- 2:55Kingsley Aikins: It's um and and it's it it it they really embraced that whole notion.
- 2:59Kingsley Aikins: Modai embraced it this whole notion of kind of global Indianness.
- 3:03Kingsley Aikins: So the difference between the state uh and the nation, the state being lines on the map, but the nation being a global notion.
- 3:11Kingsley Aikins: So so what was once, as I said, a minority kind of few countries were engaged in this.
- 3:16Kingsley Aikins: I mean, it's 120 countries now doing this stuff.
- 3:18Kingsley Aikins: So I think you know, I'm off to Lanzarote tomorrow to present a diasper strategy to their government there, but I've also done it for the Basque area and I've done it for Catalonia.
- 3:27Kingsley Aikins: So what we're seeing is that it's not just countries are doing this, but regions are doing it.
- 3:32Kingsley Aikins: So in Ireland, Donegal are all over this, you know, and uh Mayo are doing it, and Cork are doing it.
- 3:37Kingsley Aikins: Um and now cities are doing it.
- 3:40Kingsley Aikins: So I wrote a desperate strategy some years ago for Copenhagen.
- 3:43Kingsley Aikins: Um, we're bidding for a piece of work with Liverpool.
- 3:46Kingsley Aikins: We just wrote a desperate strategy for Cornwall.
- 3:49Kingsley Aikins: So it's about building networks, but it's also back to something we mentioned a bit earlier.
- 3:54Kingsley Aikins: It's this sense of belonging.
- 3:55Kingsley Aikins: People want to belong.
- 3:57Kingsley Aikins: It might be to a football team or it might be to uh a theater or it might be to a school, but people like to belong.
- 4:04Kingsley Aikins: And part of that is belonging to either a country or a region or a place.
- 4:08Kingsley Aikins: And it's an interesting phenomenon of our time, made possible by technology and communications.
- 4:13Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 4:14Sinead Donovan: That's fascinating.
- 4:15Sinead Donovan: And you know, do you know what when you were talking, it made me think of it, it's it's like it's almost like a global alumni.
- 4:21Sinead Donovan: So we'd all be, we'd all be, you know, if you're from KPMG or Deloitte or whatever, you have your alumni, and and we're really loyal to that because it's our it's our it's our county jersey almost.
- 4:31Sinead Donovan: But this is this is an alumni to the nth degree, isn't it?
- 4:35Kingsley Aikins: It is, it's fascinating.
- 4:36Kingsley Aikins: And you know, I always used to say when I did my job, I was I was mining for coal and I was mining for diamonds.
- 4:42Kingsley Aikins: And in there, you know, in these diasporas are people who are incredibly successful, incredibly uh sense of belonging, etc.
- 4:51Kingsley Aikins: You you probably would have heard of the guy called Chuck Feeney.
- 4:54Kingsley Aikins: I mean, our educational system in this country wouldn't have wouldn't have been where we got to were it not for this one guy who who who who gave away all over the world eight billion, and he was uh he was a radio operator, a US citizen, radio operator in the in in the war in Korea, got demobbed, set up duty free, made a fortune.
- 5:13Kingsley Aikins: But he was a disciple of Andrew Carnegie, who is a great Scottish philanthropist, who once said, you know, he who dies rich dies disgraced.
- 5:21Kingsley Aikins: So Andrew Carnegie, and all the libraries in this country are Carnegie Libraries, and Andrew Carnegie said that you know you should you should give away your wealth while you're alive.
- 5:31Kingsley Aikins: We call it give while you live, rather than hang on to it and then leave it to people who have no idea what they're going to do with it.
- 5:37Kingsley Aikins: And Chuck Feeney became a disciple of his and decided to give all his money away, and mostly to education, but but he gave it to Australia, he gave it to Vietnam, he gave it to the US, he gave it to Ireland.
- 5:49Kingsley Aikins: Um, he had a lovely concept.
- 5:50Kingsley Aikins: He wanted to give away his final check on the morning he passes away because he said, I want my check to the undertaker to bounce, which is extraordinary, but isn't that fascinating?
- 6:03Kingsley Aikins: And and Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, you know, who are massively rich philanthropists, etc., they say their hero in life is Chuck Feeney.
- 6:11Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 6:11Kingsley Aikins: And this idea of give while you live, because one of the great shifts of money in the world today is the intergenerational transfer of wealth.
- 6:19Kingsley Aikins: I mean, there's a company in America, Cerulea Associates, and I watched their reports, they came out the other day saying it'll be about 125 trillion is going to be given away.
- 6:29Kingsley Aikins: Because you can't take it with you.
- 6:31Kingsley Aikins: Chuck Feeney said there ain't no roof rack on the hearse.
- 6:35Sinead Donovan: Oh, I just love all these sayings you are coming out with.
- 6:38Sinead Donovan: It's just brilliant.
- 6:39Sinead Donovan: Um, it's great.
- 6:41Sinead Donovan: But as I listen to you, and I am listening, and I'm I'm listening really hardly, um does it just does it does it just come down to values?
- 6:52Sinead Donovan: And networking comes a little bit down to values as well, and the values of giving, of listening, of being kind, being empathetic, wanting to hear what others are doing.
- 7:06Sinead Donovan: Is it just values or am I making it too simple, Kingsley?
- 7:10Kingsley Aikins: Look, I think I think there's two answers to that.
- 7:13Kingsley Aikins: Uh when you say those words, I I remember asking my mum when I was a little youngster, saying, What do you think I should be when I grow up, mum?
- 7:20Kingsley Aikins: And she said, after a moment's hesitation, she said, Be kind.
- 7:24Kingsley Aikins: I thought it was a nice, and I always think about that, etc.
- 7:26Kingsley Aikins: On the other hand, I'm not naive enough not to think that a smidgen of self-interest may eventually may enter into some of these activities and relationships.
- 7:35Kingsley Aikins: So when we started running these events, like that first dinner in New York, that lost money, that dinner now, that event in New York probably makes three to four million in one night.
- 7:44Kingsley Aikins: You know, but it's taken 30 years to get to that stage.
- 7:47Kingsley Aikins: Now, why are those people there?
- 7:49Kingsley Aikins: Well, they have a particular interest in the cause, and that's great, that's very nice.
- 7:52Kingsley Aikins: But they're also there because they want to meet the other people who are there.
- 7:56Kingsley Aikins: And they get engaged with these organizations because there's a bit of self-interest in it.
- 8:01Kingsley Aikins: When I lived in Australia, I was I was I got to know the PM there, Paul Keating, wonderful guy.
- 8:07Kingsley Aikins: And he said, Mighty said in the great race of life, he says, always back self-interest because at least you know it'll be trying.
- 8:13Kingsley Aikins: So I you know, I accept that, and I don't think there's anything particularly wrong with that, so long as it's not damaging.
- 8:20Kingsley Aikins: So uh so it's kind of saying these are win-win situations, you know.
- 8:25Sinead Donovan: Okay.
- 8:25Kingsley Aikins: What's good for you, it's good for my company, it's good for my family, it's good for my sus general society I live in.
- 8:32Kingsley Aikins: Okay.
- 8:32Kingsley Aikins: Um so I I'd, you know, be pretty supportive of it.
- 8:35Sinead Donovan: Okay, I like that.
- 8:36Sinead Donovan: Yeah, and I mean, look, you're absolutely 100% right.
- 8:39Sinead Donovan: There's got to be there's got to be a bit of self um benefit.
- 8:43Sinead Donovan: Self-benefit.
- 8:44Sinead Donovan: There doesn't have to be, but quite often that's a motivator.
- 8:47Sinead Donovan: I was interested and I was thinking, like when we were chatting, networking is is hard and it's tiring.
- 8:56Sinead Donovan: Um and I know you said the difference between introverts, extroverts, and and and um ambience?
- 9:00Sinead Donovan: Is that is that what you mean?
- 9:01Sinead Donovan: Ambi ambiverts, yeah.
- 9:02Sinead Donovan: Ambiverts.
- 9:03Sinead Donovan: Okay, sorry, ambient is what you put in the press, isn't it?
- 9:05Sinead Donovan: Um what do you do when your and some people use the term when your social battery gets low?
- 9:14Sinead Donovan: Um do you do you just know, do you take yourself away and just kind of recharge for a few hours, a few days?
- 9:21Kingsley Aikins: Yeah, that ambivert thing.
- 9:22Kingsley Aikins: Well, look, um there's a guy called Andy La Patta wrote a book, and the book is entitled And Death Came Third, and he said the three great fears people have in life.
- 9:30Kingsley Aikins: Um number three is death, right?
- 9:34Kingsley Aikins: Okay, number two is walking into a room where they know nobody.
- 9:38Kingsley Aikins: We all hate that.
- 9:39Kingsley Aikins: I mean that's a struggle.
- 9:40Kingsley Aikins: And do you know what people's greatest fear in life?
- 9:43Kingsley Aikins: You must know the answer to this.
- 9:45Sinead Donovan: It's not public speaking, is it?
- 9:45Sinead Donovan: It is public speaking.
- 9:46Sinead Donovan: I yeah, I I don't get that, but I'm very lucky, maybe.
- 9:49Kingsley Aikins: Yeah, you're probably you know you have a natural proclivity towards it, but but people are terrified of it, absolutely terrified.
- 9:56Kingsley Aikins: Um I think it was Bill Gates, uh uh Warren Warren Buffett or Bill Gates, one of these guys said that you know person's greatest fear um when they're giving the eulogy or of of their best friends you know being put six foot under, is they'd rather be in the coffin because they're so terrified of having to make a speech, you know.
- 10:20Kingsley Aikins: So people do really, really clam up on this one, you know.
- 10:25Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 10:25Sinead Donovan: And but but it's so true what you said there, because a lot of people can go, oh well it's easy for you, you you know, you don't you don't mind.
- 10:32Sinead Donovan: But whilst maybe personally I don't mind public speaking, I do every time I walk into a room where I don't know people, that does make me very nervous.
- 10:41Sinead Donovan: Um but you learn to turn it on.
- 10:44Kingsley Aikins: Yeah, look, I think there's a few little tips and tricks, etc.
- 10:46Kingsley Aikins: Yeah that you can you can do.
- 10:48Kingsley Aikins: I always think you know, people's name tag is a permission device to talk to strangers, you know, so you immediately you can connect like that.
- 10:56Kingsley Aikins: Um I think you can it's very hard to break into a group of three or four people who are having a wonderful conversation together because you just feel you're invading their space.
- 11:05Kingsley Aikins: Um, so it's better off to look for ones and twos.
- 11:08Kingsley Aikins: I mean, my trick always is to be somewhere near the bar because people tend to be turning away with a glass in their hand on their own, you know, so you've got an opportunity to sort of say hi.
- 11:18Kingsley Aikins: I mean, you just have to get over that initial kind of reticence and and remember that all you have to do is stick your hand out, say hi, my name is, and smile.
- 11:28Sinead Donovan: Smile is huge, isn't it?
- 11:29Sinead Donovan: Smile is huge, yeah.
- 11:30Sinead Donovan: Because generally, if you smile at someone, they will smile back, which kind of gives a natural ease of tension.
- 11:36Kingsley Aikins: Correct.
- 11:36Kingsley Aikins: They'll smile back even if it's only internally, which you can't see.
- 11:41Kingsley Aikins: But uh so yeah, so you know, we all kind of hate that.
- 11:44Kingsley Aikins: On the other hand, you know, and we uh you and I have gone to lots of events around town, and very often a company will go and take a table, and it's ten people from that company are sitting around the table.
- 11:55Kingsley Aikins: And I mean you want to try and avoid that because you're gonna see those people at work anyway.
- 11:59Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 12:00Kingsley Aikins: So it is that it is that challenge of talking to strangers.
- 12:05Kingsley Aikins: And I think that we often default away from it.
- 12:08Kingsley Aikins: Whereas when you think about it, Shanade, what do we teach our kids from a very young age?
- 12:12Kingsley Aikins: We say don't talk to strangers, right?
- 12:14Sinead Donovan: Yeah, yeah.
- 12:15Kingsley Aikins: And yet statistically, our kids are at more danger from friends and family than they are from strangers.
- 12:21Kingsley Aikins: So you know, when you think of the facts behind it, it's it's they're gonna things are gonna happen with friends and family.
- 12:29Kingsley Aikins: So I think that that um getting over that stranger danger issue is is critical.
- 12:34Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 12:34Sinead Donovan: I have a couple more questions for you if that's okay, Kingsley.
- 12:38Sinead Donovan: I'm really interested in this difference between introverts and extroverts.
- 12:42Sinead Donovan: Do you believe that depending on who you're engaging with, do you change the manner in which you engage yourself?
- 12:49Sinead Donovan: So if you're dealing with an introvert, do you use different signals?
- 12:53Sinead Donovan: Cues, exactly.
- 12:55Kingsley Aikins: Yeah.
- 12:55Kingsley Aikins: Look, I think you can be understanding of where other people are coming from and who they are.
- 13:00Kingsley Aikins: But but you don't want to be not yourself, you know?
- 13:03Kingsley Aikins: Yeah.
- 13:04Kingsley Aikins: And so then I think it's hard to sustain that and people see through it uh if you're being a bit condescending.
- 13:10Kingsley Aikins: I mean I I I think people have to take you as you are, and you have to take them as they are, and and mold those those differences together in some way.
- 13:18Sinead Donovan: Okay, so it's authenticity, really.
- 13:20Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 13:21Sinead Donovan: Um, and then coming up to one of my final questions.
- 13:24Sinead Donovan: So you you've mentioned a few times corporates and doing a lot of work for corporates and CEOs.
- 13:28Sinead Donovan: Is that because CEOs and corporates absolutely fundamentally understand the value of ensuring their workforce can network?
- 13:37Kingsley Aikins: I think what's driving the business that I have so much at the moment is uh the hidden cost of COVID.
- 13:44Kingsley Aikins: And the hidden cost of COVID, I believe, is that our networks have shrunk.
- 13:48Kingsley Aikins: And we've tended to hunker down with friends, family, and just a few business connections, what I call the inner concentric ring of our network.
- 13:55Kingsley Aikins: And we've let slip um the outer concentric ring where we have a lot of weak ties, loose associations, but actually that's where opportunity lies.
- 14:05Kingsley Aikins: And I think companies, and the reason I get called in, are facing five interesting challenges.
- 14:11Kingsley Aikins: The first one is there's less business development.
- 14:13Kingsley Aikins: Secondly, there's less learning on the job, particularly for the next generation.
- 14:18Kingsley Aikins: So they're missing out, and we're working from home, they're missing out on all that.
- 14:22Kingsley Aikins: There's less serendipity, luck and chance, which we talked about, um, again, because they're just not bouncing into people at the coffee station or wherever it is.
- 14:30Kingsley Aikins: There's less company uh loyalty.
- 14:33Kingsley Aikins: So no loyalty anymore.
- 14:34Kingsley Aikins: People are moving like never before, and there's less company culture.
- 14:37Kingsley Aikins: So they're biggies, all those five are biggies, and and that that that blanket covers most of what I'm hearing out there from corporates um and why I'm getting called in.
- 14:48Kingsley Aikins: And of course, the senior people in the organization, they realize that actually the technical skills they needed to get their job when they were going through this, um, critically important as they are, become less important as they progress because everybody's got them.
- 15:04Kingsley Aikins: You can't compete in what everybody's got, and relationships become more important.
- 15:08Kingsley Aikins: And I think that that's the kind of an inflection point that the sea more senior people say we've got to make sure the next level coming through understands that this is an important, really important part of their career development.
- 15:20Kingsley Aikins: Because early in your career you get paid for what you do, but later in your career you get paid for who you are.
- 15:26Sinead Donovan: It's so true.
- 15:27Sinead Donovan: There is that inflection point, isn't there, where your technical can only get you so far.
- 15:31Kingsley Aikins: Only get you so far.
- 15:32Sinead Donovan: And and to that point of all the things you've said there it is, um so a lot of CEOs are and a lot of leadership teams are encouraging their workforce back into the office after COVID.
- 15:46Sinead Donovan: And we're moving to hybrid at the at the best, but some people are doing the five days a week.
- 15:52Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 15:52Sinead Donovan: It's to protect all these things you're talking about, the serendipity, the loyalty, the culture, the learning on the job.
- 15:58Sinead Donovan: Yeah.
- 15:59Sinead Donovan: Um, okay, and that's something that I think is yeah, is is is is quite important to look.
- 16:05Kingsley Aikins: I'm not sure we I I don't think we'll go all the way back to five days in.
- 16:08Kingsley Aikins: I think, but but I I would I'd be personally, I think four and one is quite a nice idea.
- 16:13Kingsley Aikins: You know, and some some countries are doing that.
- 16:15Kingsley Aikins: Um I think that that may be where this thing settles.
- 16:19Sinead Donovan: Yeah, and I mean certainly I would see it in the profession, in the training of grads, and you know, that they do learn so much on the job.
- 16:26Sinead Donovan: We're coming to the end, Kingsy.
- 16:28Sinead Donovan: It has been I I've got a page of takeaways which I will try and and maybe summarise a little bit at some of them at the end, but kind of a final word from from you about, you know, be it to I don't want to say a young charge accountances listening, but be it to any charge accountances that that's listening, what what would be your ask of them as to how to best represent themselves, best represent their profession, best represent maybe their country.
- 16:56Sinead Donovan: What what should they or could they do?
- 16:59Kingsley Aikins: I remember getting a a piece of advice, slightly trite advice, quite funny advice uh when I look back on it now.
- 17:06Kingsley Aikins: Um this fella said to me, said, I'm a founder member of an organization called Case.
- 17:10Kingsley Aikins: He said, and Case stands for copy and steal everything.
- 17:13Kingsley Aikins: In other words, go figure who does this well and hang around with him.
- 17:18Kingsley Aikins: So I worked for this guy, Tony O'Reilly, who probably was absolutely world-class networking, incredible.
- 17:24Kingsley Aikins: And I had the opportunity, I mean, I just picking up on what you said a while ago about speech, he was a wonderful, wonderful public speaker.
- 17:30Kingsley Aikins: But I would see him before I'd see I'd see him spending hours over that speech, and he practiced, practiced, practiced.
- 17:37Kingsley Aikins: He'd he'd try out lines and jokes and stuff on me, and he would be working at this, and it was so it was so natural the way he delivered this stuff, and and yet it was so effective.
- 17:51Kingsley Aikins: I mean, um Warren Buffett said, Warren Buffett, you know, the probably the most successful businessman in the history of the world has got on his wall he doesn't have his master's or his PhD or whatever studies at Wharton and everything.
- 18:05Kingsley Aikins: He's one certificate on the wall, which is the Dale Carnegie certificate on public speaking.
- 18:11Kingsley Aikins: He said that increased my value a hundred percent, being able to speak publicly.
- 18:16Kingsley Aikins: Okay.
- 18:17Kingsley Aikins: So I think that's fascinating.
- 18:19Sinead Donovan: It is fascinating, and and please, I don't want you to think, don't get me wrong, the only reason that I don't mind public speaking is because I know that I have to put in a hell of a lot of work to be able to stand up in front to do it.
- 18:30Sinead Donovan: But the physical art of standing up, but it's the preparation that is so key.
- 18:35Sinead Donovan: So so key.
- 18:36Sinead Donovan: Um Kingsy, you have you have given us so much.
- 18:41Sinead Donovan: Um, there's a few things I've written down here.
- 18:43Sinead Donovan: Uh, number one predictor of success is an open network.
- 18:45Sinead Donovan: And correct me if I get in these wrong.
- 18:47Sinead Donovan: There's the five people that you've spent the most time with will will likely shape you.
- 18:51Sinead Donovan: He who dies rich dies disgraced.
- 18:53Sinead Donovan: Um, the art of giving, and then the four fundamentals of networking personal network, strategic network, operational network, and online network.
- 19:02Sinead Donovan: Um, there's so much more, and I really hope that the listeners have have have some takeaways.
- 19:08Sinead Donovan: Um, Kingsley, or should I say author, Kingsley Aitness?
- 19:12Sinead Donovan: Um, thank you so much for your time.
- 19:14Sinead Donovan: It's been amazing, and I really, really appreciate it.
- 19:17Sinead Donovan: Delighted.
- 19:18Sinead Donovan: Thank you, Shanise.
- 19:18Sinead Donovan: Thank you.
- 19:19Sinead Donovan: And to the listeners, thank you so much for listening to this, um, which was our second part of talking to Kingsley on the process of networking.
- 19:27Sinead Donovan: So it's neither an art or science, is what I've learned, it's a process.
- 19:31Sinead Donovan: Um, but um, I hope this finds you all well wherever you may be, and I look forward to seeing you for the next episode of Difference Makers Discuss.
- 19:40Sinead Donovan: Thank you.