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Self Abandonment - Why we do it and how to stop · Reclaiming Consciousness

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you didn't have anyone there for you who was present with your emotions and who was able to support you through whatever emotions you were experiencing as a child and who you felt comfortable leaning into as a child to have big emotional experiences, if you didn't feel like you had somebody who could hold that, then you didn't have anyone modeling to you what it was like to walk through emotional experiences.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you're in the face of potentially walking through a challenge or some kind of growth experience that's going to elicit bigger emotional experiences, you would check out because you wouldn't feel like you were capable of handling that.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: What was modeled to me is that what other people think and how they feel is more important than how I feel.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Anywhere where you are really ignoring yourself and your own needs is a form of self-abandonment.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Elise Bassine, spiritual mentor, breathwork practitioner, and owner and CEO of Elise Breeds.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are, and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising consciousness and creating a new way of living on this earth.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Get ready to go deep.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's dive in.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, welcome back to the show.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: So this week I'm diving into the topic of self-abandonment, why we do it, what it looks like, and what we can do about it.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And as I have been going deep around creating the tools for dissolve your abandonment wound, which is coming up in a couple of weeks, I wanted to really touch on all of the aspects of the abandonment wound.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I have just seen over and over again as I work with more and more women to dissolve their trauma.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to speak to this aspect of abandonment specifically because I think it's something that we all come up against and might not even realize it.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to go deep with you today on this topic and just give some examples and share some personal stories to help you just understand where this might be showing up for you or where you might be feeling challenged or struggling and not even realize that the self-abandonment piece might be what you need to look at or address.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So just a couple things before we dive in.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Dissolve Your Abandonment Wound is the five-day telegram broadcast that will kick off on November 18th.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's Monday through Friday.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really cool because I love doing these telegram broadcasts because I just get to show up and share all of the stuff with you, and you can engage with the content in a way that really works for you.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I recommend obviously listening to the messages every day and doing the homework.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: But the way that it works is I will be popping into our telegram chat every day and sharing the teachings with you and the tools to pinpoint the origin of your abandonment wound and also pinpoint just where it is showing up for you and then where it came from, acknowledging pinpointing that origin of it, because this is one of the things that sets my process apart from anything else, is the very simple and efficient acknowledging of where this started.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason why that's so important is because if we skip the acknowledgement piece, then there's always going to be a part of you that you have not acknowledged.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: When there's a part of you that you haven't acknowledged, that part of you will get your attention elsewhere at other places in your life.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, there's that famous thing that Carl Jung said your unconscious will show up in your life to get your attention and you will call it fate or something like that.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it's literally the same thing.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if there's any parts of you that you have not acknowledged and that you are compartmentalizing or hiding, or that were wounded that you have not yet resolved, they will continue to show up and get your attention in other ways in your life until you acknowledge them.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why it is incredibly important to acknowledge where this started and reconcile the wound through allowing yourself to feel the emotions.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I take you through that process using my breath work and I have other tools for that.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then learning how to navigate situations and circumstances in your life from a place of power and not operating from the energy of abandonment.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna show you exactly how to do that in these five days with me.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I make this as simple and as efficient as possible for you to reconcile this wounding so that the abandonment wound will permanently stop impacting your life.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So it's gonna be really great.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: That starts on the 18th, and it's five days.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then on the last day on that Friday, you're gonna have the opportunity to ask questions in the chat.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then you'll have access to all of the teachings for life.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be incredibly powerful.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: Last time I did one of these was the mini morphosis, and that was like so incredible.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone got such powerful results and their minds were blown.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: Everything changed for them.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's gonna be the same thing with this.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna link that in the show notes.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: You guys can sign up.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's$97.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: We definitely have some more exciting stuff coming up inside the mothership next week, which is my membership mastermind, my year-long membership.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Next week, we're about to start our exclusive four-week mastermind called Turning Point, where we are all focusing on one specific result that they want to create within four weeks.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we are working intensively to create it, which I'm so excited about.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just for the ladies in the mothership.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if you would like to come in before that starts, reach out to me and we will get you set up with that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: But that is really the space to go deep and create permanent results by committing to this work long term.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Cause that's really how we create the most long-term results, is through committing to this work long term.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: So we will link that below.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then also the metamorphosis method certification is starting in February.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great time to join because you can get on an extended payment plan and the format has changed for the certification.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it's now six months.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: The price has changed and it's a little bit of a different format, but it is still incredibly powerful.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's so much information, there's so much transformation.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you work with clients in any capacity and you want to be able to create predictable permanent results, this is the place for you.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think that the certification is so important, not only because of how it will affect you, but I really think that right now, especially, it is very important to learn how to create a very solid container for clients to create transformation.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't think that a lot of people who, you know, just come into the coaching industry necessarily have that skill set, not any fault of their own.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's just that that's something that, you know, you need to be trained in.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a great place to be trained in how to work with trauma, being trauma informed, and how to hold a very solid space for all clients and have a very solid skill set on how to work with clients to create transformation.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So reach out to me if you want to chat about that.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: Today I want to go into the topic of self-abandonment.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: And this is so important because this is actually a very common way that the abandonment wound will show up.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's also something that you might not even be aware of that you're doing, and it might be showing up as another type of challenge in your life or another type of roadblock or another place that feels sticky for you that you might not even realize is actually self-abandonment.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I started to see this earlier on in my business working with clients around clients who had a significant abandonment with their families, right?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Where they actually had parents who left them, or they had parents who were just completely checked out and really were not available for them in any capacity.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: And what I would see with those types of clients is that they would self-abandon in this very palpable way that I started to track and I started to take note of.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And what it would look like is that, you know, they would be showing up, showing up, showing up, showing up, whether they were someone that was working with me privately or in a group, they would start out and be very engaged and really ready to do the work and really excited about it and have a lot of goals and intentions.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, they would be going, going, going, going.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden they would like disappear.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be this really insane thing because not only would they disappear, but like the energy was so strong around the abandonment, I would forget that they weren't there.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like it wasn't even like, oh, they would disappear or they would stop engaging.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would be like, hey, and reach out.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: The energy around it was so strong that I would forget about them.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I found it to be so wild, you know.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, this is so interesting that, you know, I haven't heard from this person in like two weeks.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we had been talking every day or every other day or whatever.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: They would pop into my mind and I would be like, whoa, this is so insane that I haven't heard from them for two weeks.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it's almost like they fell off the face of the earth.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I forgot about them too.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, what is this?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I bet you guys can relate because I'm sure everyone has a friend or somebody in your life that does that.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you talk to them pretty much a lot or whatever a lot is for you, or there, you can feel their energy.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, you know, you're connected with them.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden they like fall off the face of the earth or they disappear.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then they like come back and you're like, wow, like, where did you go?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: type of a thing.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like weird.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: That is abandonment.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's the energy of abandonment.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: And what I started to see with these clients is that they were literally just repeating this pattern of abandonment through abandoning themselves.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: So it would be a very unconscious thing where they wouldn't realize they were doing it either.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden, two weeks have gone by and they've kind of fallen off and lost the momentum that they started to get through our work together.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, it got to the point where I really started to understand what was going on.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: One of them, I brought it up to her, and, you know, she agreed with me.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, what can we do to support you in shifting this and, you know, staying with it during the times when you want to self-abandon?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that was really challenging too, because a lot of times people don't realize that they're doing it.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's like an unconscious thing that you don't realize is happening until it's like already happening, right?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: So these are some of the more like severe cases of self-abandonment.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: But this is actually a really strong representation of what the energy is because what happens is you have trouble showing up for yourself and the commitments that you've made to grow or change or make your life better.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And really what it's about too is the struggle to value yourself and walk with yourself through challenges, through difficult things, and most importantly, through bigger emotions.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: The reason why I think that piece is so important is because if you didn't have anyone there for you who was present with your emotions and who was able to support you through whatever emotions you were experiencing as a child and who you felt comfortable leaning into as a child to have big emotional experiences.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you didn't feel like you had somebody who could hold that, then you didn't have anyone modeling to you what it was like to walk through emotional experiences.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: So what happens is that you would have never developed the capacity or the ability to walk through bigger emotional experiences, right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: So what can happen is when you're in the face of potentially walking through a challenge or some kind of growth experience that's going to elicit bigger emotional experiences, you would check out because you wouldn't feel like you were capable of handling that.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of the work that I do with clients around abandonment, specifically self-abandonment, is guiding them to develop the ability and the capacity to walk themselves through challenging emotions and uncomfortable emotional experiences from childhood or even uncomfortable emotional experiences based on the growth that they are stepping into now.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of the self-abandonment piece is just simply around not having had anybody that was there for you on an emotional level or that was tuned into you or present for you in the way that you needed.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then because of that, not being able to be there for yourself.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And because you've just been looping in that pattern.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And again, there's nothing wrong with this, by the way.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: We all do this in some capacity.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's just about the awareness so that you can shift the pattern and just doing what was modeled to you, right?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And not ever having anyone walk you through, holding yourself through emotional experiences and having anyone that was tuned into you in that way.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: So that's one piece of it.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other piece is around what was modeled to you from your parents.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of that would probably be around patterns of, you know, self-sacrifice or putting other people's needs before their own.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I always talk about this thing that I think a lot of moms, especially, also wives, but really moms, get this programming that you are a good mom or you're a good person if you put everyone's needs above your own.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: And while, yes, as a mom, you definitely need to prioritize your kids, you also don't want to be doing it at your own expense.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where a lot of this programming comes in around you're a good person if you put other people first.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that is a little bit inverted and it's something that gets misconstrued because yes, it is very important to consider other people and to help other people when they need it, but doing it at your own expense doesn't help anybody because then you're modeling to your kids that you don't value your own needs.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: So then they are not going to value their own needs.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what's happened in your childhood.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's what happened in my childhood.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of my abandonment stuff is just from not only not having parents that were there for me emotionally in the way that I needed, but also it just comes from my mom being such a people pleaser and not only modeling that behavior to me, but also kind of forcing it upon me in a lot of ways.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: She would always tell me things like, oh, well, you need to do this or this person's gonna feel bad, or you need to do that, or that person's gonna feel bad.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And like it was always oriented to making sure that other people felt okay or weren't uncomfortable at my own expense, right?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it was something like, well, I don't want to do that, or that's not something that I want to do, that wouldn't matter.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: What was modeled to me is that what other people think and how they feel is more important than how I feel.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And like the classic story was um when I got the part of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz in the second grade play.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, when they were having the auditions for the play, I knew that I was gonna get the lead.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember I went home and I told my mom, I was like, I'm gonna be Darcy.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom was like, Oh, well, you know, don't be upset if you don't get it or whatever.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, no, I'm gonna be Darcy.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then sure enough, I got the part of Dorothy and I was so happy.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: And when I went home, the first thing my mom said to me, not, oh, I'm so happy for you.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: The first thing she said to me was, don't brag about it.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't go telling everyone because you don't want them to feel bad about them not getting Dorothy or them not getting the part they wanted, or whatever it was.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember thinking that just took the wind out of my sails because I was so happy that I got the part.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: But now I just have to reorient my energy to worrying about how everyone else feels about the fact that they didn't get the part they wanted.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: That was kind of like one of my first memories, because I think I would have been like seven at that point.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember very clearly receiving this awareness that it was more important to make sure that other people were comfortable than how I felt.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what was modeled to me.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then especially like with the way that my mom was and her instability, just like emotionally, I oriented my energy towards making sure that her energy was like stable and trying to like prevent or make sure that she wasn't going to have a freak out, so much so that I never really expressed much emotion or upset to her, because usually what would happen is that she would get so upset about whatever I would share that it would actually make things worse for me.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would have to make her feel better when like I was the one that needed support.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I share all that to say these types of dynamics and relational patterns are what will set the stage for patterns of self-abandonment, because those are all ways that I learned that it was more important to value how everyone else felt than myself.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you value other people before yourself, that is essentially self-abandonment, right?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because you are abandoning your own needs, you are ignoring and neglecting your own feelings and what you desire and what you need to give other people what they need.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then what ends up happening too is that you orient your whole purpose and your whole way of being to you being okay if they are okay.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a form of self-abandonment.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: And people pleasing also is a form of self-abandonment.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: So anywhere where you are really ignoring yourself and your own needs is a form of self-abandonment.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so many different ways where it can start, right?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: The other one that I just want to say really quickly is just to go kind of deeper into the modeling aspect too.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because especially with moms watching your mom and And how she did or didn't value herself, that's gonna directly relate to like your ability to value yourself and place value on what it is that you want or need in life.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if it is a struggle for you to place value on what you want and need in life, that is self-abandonment, right?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're essentially orienting yourself towards other people and abandoning you.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's another reason why people will have a hard time or struggle with living their purpose or making decisions that would orient them towards what it is that they actually want, because the idea of placing value on yourself feels really risque.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like it feels really provocative because it's something that we've just been taught not to do, and that it needs to be about everybody else and what they need, especially as women and as moms.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: So that's definitely a place that it comes from too, is just what you witnessed, right?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: And how you relate to yourself based on what you witness.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of this stuff, too, is very ingrained in the subconscious, and you might not even know that you're doing it, and you might not even be aware that you are orienting yourself towards other people and abandoning yourself.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's were so many layers for me that I have gradually just realized in my relationship, ways that I would just orient towards my husband and not really look at what it is that I actually want or what I actually need.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And just gradually over time, I've been able to notice that more and more and see that more and more, and not let it always be about the other person.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And what I will say too is that if you are someone who's oriented to making it about the other person, that also is going to be your superpower, right?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you grow up having to always anticipate how other people are gonna feel or having to always be tuned in to how everyone else is feeling, even if it's as a trauma response, you actually develop that superpower and it makes you really good at whatever it is you do with people, right?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like my ability to understand what people feel and why they do what they do is obviously one of my talents, but it also got to be really strongly developed based on these patterns of interaction that I had growing up.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: So this is not a bad thing at all.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's really just about orienting yourself towards learning how to use it in a way that is going to be beneficial for you and a contribution to your well-being and what you want to create and where you want to go instead of it being something that takes away your energy or pulls on your energy, right?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because eventually you can't self-abandon forever because that's when people start to burn out, or they get really bad anxiety or depression or some kind of physical symptom, because it's just something that's not sustainable.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: You can't ignore yourself forever.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that sometimes people think it's about something else, like maybe they think it's about their job or their relationship or some kind of circumstantial thing.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: But typically, if you shift the way you're operating to value and honor yourself first in any situation, usually the situations and circumstances will either become not an issue for you or they will shift to match the energy that you're now engaging in.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that's a really important piece to understand.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think the other way that self-abandonment can show up for a lot of women is just the ability to have a commitment to yourself, you know?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the one of the things I see a lot of women struggle with is like the ability to have consistency in the way that you're showing up for yourself, whether it's in your business or whether it's simply in like doing this work.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'll have a lot of women who come into my world that just struggle with staying consistent in doing the work.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a form of showing up for yourself is being able to do this work.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Cause obviously it's confronting at times and it takes a lot of courage to continue to dive deep into yourself to create real permanent change.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that can be really hard is to just stay with yourself and keep that commitment to yourself because the patterns of self-abandonment are so strong, especially around being able to walk yourself through uncomfortable emotions.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's a way that I see the self-abandonment piece show up in everyday life for most women.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then the last thing I wanted to speak to, and then I'm going to talk about how we stop it, is if you had a parent who actually physically was not there for you.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: And this is something that I have a ton of experience with, especially as a school counselor, because most of the kids I worked with had a parent who wasn't there for them.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I witnessed so many cases just in how that affects a child.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: So if you had a parent who was gone, left permanently, or you had a parent who, you know, was like in and out but wasn't fully there for you, that will also show up in patterns of self-abandonment, especially because, you know, I always say that we treat ourselves the way our parents treated us, but we also treat ourselves the way that they treated themselves, you know.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: So I think you want to be looking at a combination of those two things.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: But if you ever like hear the voice in your head that's kind of like judging you or criticizing you, or kind of that like internal drill sergeant, that's always gonna be some representation of one or both of your parents talking to you.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you kind of like do it to yourself after a while because you're so used to hearing it.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if you had a parent who just simply was not there to support you, the self-abandonment piece will be really strong because you will have learned to treat yourself that way in some capacity.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: And it might not be all areas of your life, too.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: It just might be a part of your life that might feel particularly challenging or that you might associate with growth or transformation, or that you might associate with love.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe it's around money, or maybe it's around your career or your relationship, I would say it's probably gonna show up in at least one of those areas where it's gonna be harder for you to consistently show up for yourself because you didn't have a parent who modeled that to you.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then additionally, it'll feel harder to value yourself in certain ways because when you have a parent who left, the thing that you would most likely internalize, the belief that you would most likely internalize would be that you're not important.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're not valuable, you know, and then most of your life you would be trying to prove that you're valuable or trying to get someone else to tell you that you're valuable so that you feel like you're worthy of not being abandoned.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this shows up for people in so many different ways.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just kind of like giving you the overview of what I've seen, but I've seen it show up for different people differently.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: It really just depends on you and how you have interpreted things.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea of self-abandonment, I think in one way or another, is something that everybody struggles with, and is a matter of pinpointing what the story is for you, like where it came from for you, and how to shift it.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the last thing I'm gonna talk about is how we shift it.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this is where I think my process is different from a lot of things, because like I said, the acknowledgement piece is key.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_00: And being able to work with this part of you who feels abandoned is also key.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the biggest ways that we reconcile something like this is you have to acknowledge and listen to the part of you who feels abandoned, right?
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: What a lot of people think is the way to do it is like be like, okay, well, I actually wasn't abandoned, or I understand why my parents did that, or now I'm just gonna tell myself that I'm worthy and it's all gonna be fine.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: That kind of thinking or that behavior change actually only makes the problem worse because what actually shifts this and what heals this is to acknowledge the part of you that feels abandoned, develop a relationship with that part of you, and then start to reconcile it through feeling the emotions that this part of you feels, holding yourself through those emotions, and then learning how to show up in your power when that abandonment piece could potentially get triggered because you have done the work to acknowledge and embrace and reconcile this part of you that feels abandoned.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I'm gonna teach you how to do in the dissolve your abandonment wound five-day training is how to go through that process.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said before, until that part of you was acknowledged, and we really can identify and pinpoint when you decided this.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like what was it that made you decide that you were abandoned or you were able to be abandoned, like that that was something that your parents were capable of when it came to you, right?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: And once we can really pinpoint that moment or that time, then it becomes a lot easier to connect with the part of you who felt that way and reconcile it.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't have to take a long time.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have literally made it my life's work to make this as simple as possible for you.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's not always easy, but it's simple because you do have to walk through the emotions, but I show you how to do that in a very efficient way and then come out on the other side so that you're able to hold your power and show up differently in situations, being able to keep a commitment to yourself, being able to hold strong boundaries inside of your relationships, which I always say boundaries don't come from setting boundaries, they come naturally from being in your power.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: And also being able to value yourself in all situations, inside your home with your kids, in your relationship, in your business, and then being able to see the ways that you weren't valuing yourself and you didn't realize that you weren't, which caused other pieces of your life to feel sticky or challenging or not to work.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: So this is all what you're going to learn inside the program.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I just want to say like, if this is something that's resonating for you, I would definitely say to join me because there's most likely a part of this that you just might not be seeing or a place that this is showing up in your life that you think might be something else, but it's actually this because that's what I see for a lot of women is that it's sneaky.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes you don't realize that that is what's happening.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it could just be as simple as showing up as it's hard for you to make decisions that honor your well-being, right?
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that can be a struggle for a lot of people as well.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_00: But once something like this is shifted, it's not even a matter of like having to make decisions anymore.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: You just like naturally move in a way that facilitates your well-being.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just a different way of operating.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what happens when you're able to pinpoint and shift it.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: Please reach out to me if you have questions about the abandonment wound training or if anything else is popping for you around this and you'd like to share it with me or ask me any questions, you can reach out to infoteleasebreeds.com.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_00: Also, don't forget to rate and review the show.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you review the show, you get a$250 credit that you can put towards anything new that you are going to come into.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: So that is a great thing to do if you have not reviewed the show yet.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: And you could apply it to joining the Desavier Abandonment Wound.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: I very much appreciate all of the amazing reviews that I've gotten.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if you love the show, it's a great thing to do to help people be able to find it.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: I will leave it there.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, and I will talk to you soon.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being here.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review, and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a$250 credit you can apply to anything else in my world.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at Elise underscore breeds and by joining my Facebook group, Financial Freedom for Spiritual Entrepreneurs, where I share all of my most fun and potent content.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you download my breathwork for financial freedom at elisebreeds.com.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time with a reward.