Latest / Black Box Theory Podcast / Do Men and Women Do Friendship Differently?
Transcript
- Malcolm: What is how do they act? How do they defend you? How do they protect your name when you're not in the room? Like like what does that look like, right? And so, I think Yeah, man. I think like it's a little different. I I can't speak all the way to like dynamics with women, but I know for guys, right? Like it's not as I think guys aren't as they don't require, I think, the same type of like constant like needing of the relationship as women do. And I think that that's partly just like men are just naturally like just less emotional kind of like creatures. Like we don't we aren't always invested into like these type of relationships. But I think we're also like 'cause I I know like bro, think about the amount of girls that you know that have literally cut their friend off cause they like came to their birthday dinner. They didn't come to their birthday dinner or they wore like a dress that made them look like they was the birthday girl instead of them. Like it's it's like stuff like that, bro. A guy I you know I'm saying like a guy would Thomas: Birthday dinners. Malcolm: never do that, right? And it's like not to compare, but like speaking from my own experience as far as like you know, how to identify who belongs in the inner circle, I think for it's just like it's a combination of obviously history that we've had. And just like for me, it doesn't take much for me to see like character in people. and just like for me, like that means more to me than just like the years. I've known people, it's people that I've known for maybe just the four years we had in college that I trust and I'm closer with. And I'm I'm I can confide in them more than people that I've known for 10 years. Right. And that's not because like years don't automatically become like the the sole factor into becoming inner circle and not inner circle. But it's just like What type of relationship and dynamic do we have? Right. Like what type of experience have we share? What type of history do we have? What type of things have we been through together? And how close are we really? Right. Like, like how often do we talk? How often do we check in on each other? Right? Like how often do we like run like you what I'm saying? Like stuff like that. And it's like, I'm also not the type of person that that thinks that or believes that I need to talk to you constantly to like for us to like validate our friendship. yeah, I dudes I mean, I got my my some of my closest friends I don't talk to for months at a time. And we like when we do see each other, we like we catch it right up from from where we left off, right? So it's like it's not that. But it's just like there are just certain things, like things like like like like are you really someone that's gonna be there for me at my absolute worst? At my highest in an emergency, someone I can call on, like someone that's like that's always gonna have my best interest and support me, like regardless of anything that they get out of it. Right. Are you someone that's gonna like have my back, defend me when I'm not in the room? and just like I said, like anybody that does that for me, I I can I you know that for sure, like it's going to be the same with me. Like it's not a one way street for friendship. Like anybody that I consider a brother, or they consider a brother out of me, it's just it goes both ways, man. So I think, I say unfortunately, not unfortunately, but realistically, like it's not many people that fall into that category with me. Because I think that that that inner circles something that you do have to be very intentional about and you do have to be very aggressive. With the selection and just like the the process that goes into considering someone a close friend or not a close friend. And that that doesn't mean that like people that aren't so close friends can't you stand kill like super cool with them. That's not the case. But there Thomas: Yeah. Malcolm: does need to be like there at the end of the day, like you're a close friend for a reason because there's a level of information and access that you have to me that I don't give to everyone else, which is what makes you a close friend by definition. However, that is something that you need to protect because everyone cannot have that access to you. 'Cause at the end of the day, everyone does not have your best interest at heart and everyone you can't trust, right? My close friends, I know if I told them something that I don't want to get out, it's not gonna go, it's not gonna go past that. But when you when you aren't intentional about who's your close friend, that's how things start. That's how rumors get spread.