Latest / Besties In Your Back Pocket / 11. What is your FQ? (Fun Quotient)

Transcript

11. What is your FQ? (Fun Quotient) · Besties In Your Back Pocket

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the rest of these.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_03: This is Angela, and the formative community take it away.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: If you ever felt like you were playing small, shrinking yourself, or just going through the motions or waiting for your real life to begin, you just have to go.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the show.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Where we don't go surface level, we go deep.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: Conversations that make you laugh, cry, think a little, and maybe make one tiny brave decision that changes everything.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy, I'm Angela.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Always honest, always in your corner, and always ready to help you unlock that version of you that creates more.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's what we know when you learn to express yourself authentically, fully, joyfully, confidently, everything else starts to shift.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're really glad you're freaking here.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: You ready, baby?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Lego.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome everyone to Besties in Your Back Pocket.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm Amy.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm Angela.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Angela, and we're the besties in your back pocket.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: If you will take your right hand and place it on your right butt cheek and place it inside of your pocket, you will find a complimentary Amy and Angela in there for you.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Is that consensual?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, but talk to our HR department.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Anyways, for today's episode.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: We have never gone over that.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: I think Amy just improved us sexually.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know where this brain is going sometimes, and then I'm like, wow, we're along for this ride.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: I just put a back pocket.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just handing you all the way.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so me and Ange, we're just talking.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: What should we talk about for today's episode?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_02: As one does.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it's just.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I have a plethora of notes in my notes app that maybe some of you will relate, and some of you will be like, Amy, you're absolutely bonkers.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: That it's just like anywhere from like two to seven words is the whole note, and it's just like a little thought.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: And I found this one and it said, why having a fun quotient matters?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: Or like, why having a lot of fun matters?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: That was the whole that's the whole note.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: There's no thoughts, there's no nothing else.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I feel like that's kind of what we both do right now in our life.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'd be uh I prefer more of a serious role in life.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_03: I know.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: She's gonna be a buzz kill.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're so right, girl.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: You're so right.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: I mean it's funny because I feel like I can be kind of serious.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: I know, I know, I don't see it, I don't see it, but I do get stuck in the series.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_02: When?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like interrelationally I do really well.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's why like collaborating, but when I get like I can get locked in and I get a little like stuck in serious, and I'm like, alright, have some fun.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, when so when are times that serious is a good thing?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, serious is necessary in what aspects?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I mean, I think it's necessary.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: Started petting around.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: Petting my boots.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: Someone has to keep it a little light while you talk about seriousness.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: We're made for petting, and that's just what Angel do.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um when it's what what was the question?
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: When is it necessary to be serious?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I mean, I think that there's I would say a million different answers to this.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: I think some people probably don't think that I'm serious enough sometimes.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: I've gotten that feedback from people in some moments, and I disagree with it sometimes because I think I'm pretty good at reading the room.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, like certain topics, you know, like to show respect, to show, like, oh, like if somebody's like sharing really deeply or vulnerably or they're like crying and you're just like a little too goofy in certain moments, like there's a time to be goofy and there's a time not to be, you know.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um like maybe for example, uh, to just be like today, like Angela made a joke at me and I reacted and didn't like the joke.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_02: And um, I feel like if you had kept like poking and like making fun, like that wouldn't have gone well in that moment.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, it was already more stopping.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: Amy was definitely going, don't say that, that's not true.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, whoa, I'm so sorry.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: That was it was a roast, it was a joke.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not going the way I planned.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: My ears are being like crazy right now for some reason.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: Because we're full circling it.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we're doing so well as friends, guys.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: We had the whole rupture, we talked about it.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're already sharing the healing process.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: But but amidst all that, even when like our hearts are pounding as we're like, whoa, right now we're opposing one another on accident.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't planned.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: Amy literally in that energy was like, that could be a viral video though.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what the fuck is going on?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna shoot your camera in my face while roasting her.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: Something she strongly disagreed with.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I felt, and I told Amy, I was like, you know, that felt really wrong of me to have my phone up.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: I just thought you were gonna like, I guess, nessan the roast.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's not live.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's true, something recorded.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's the good thing.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: The good thing.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: Not that was not my goal at all, but at least we know when we're triggered that there's something, there's some kind of message there that we're gonna go, oh, aha.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's something there.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: There's something there.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm getting scared.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like towing the line.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no goodness.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, good, good.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: You're doing so good.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're doing so good, sweetie.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, back to when is it necessary to be serious?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: I think I mean I think that there's like a spectrum, also, is what I'm thinking.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like there's like chaotic, high, like fluid fun, and then there's um I'm in some kind of serious mode of like maybe I'm collaborating and there can be a level of fun in the like we're having a meeting and we're trying to like get something done in the next hour, or you know, there's like a leadership moment of I just want to get my point across.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, there's a lot of different moments where yeah it's necessary to be serious.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_03: I like how you were saying that it's during certain topics it's it's good to be serious because then that can show some some kind of respect or maybe safety within that context.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think I guess being serious um just as like a societal expectation in certain public places, like third-party spaces where people just expect that society will have a serious demeanor in there.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's it's a tricky one, that one, you know?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's interesting.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: To put it nicely, maybe in those spaces at times.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's because, and the point of this episode is we all have different stances because that's part of our life purpose, but we happen to have the stance that, like, what is your quote in your phone note?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: I never remember.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: Some feeling about fun and quotient.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but like, oh, how do like have that capacity for fun, have a lot of fun, yeah.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: The importance of having a lot of fun.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, basically, I feel correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel part of our mission, like, we feel even more fulfilled if we unlocked more fun than was what was expected, no matter the setting.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, that's like the point, like make life a movie.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, exactly.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think people think of like fun as this like fluffy thing, or like, oh, like I get to have a little bit of fun on Friday night or the weekend, or you know, like it's not it's not something that I get to just life doesn't get to be fun.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, fun is almost like it's I don't want to say earned as though it's not a birthright, but it's like it's a muscle to like really put intention into.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like life can get dreary if you don't make sure, like, oh, I want it to be fun, and that requires this like effort and this focus on playfulness.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, and I mean fun is also totally subjective.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like what one person thinks it might be fun.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm really thinking of the couch moment.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, okay.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_03: So uh so what Amy's referring to is like, wouldn't it be so fun to drag uh this big couch you have in your living room onto a public, very uh crowded downtown area for just the purpose of like creative exploration and seeing what happens, and me being on my period, never have moved my own couch, wondering whose car will fit into, did not experience as much fun.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_03: And Amy was like having more and more fun with each problem.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, easy, grab a U-Haul, we'll rent a U-Haul.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: We we went and rented the U-Haul from a sketchy place.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, that's fine, like figuring all this stuff out.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, this is just insane.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, I'm like, I was like driving this giant U-Haul around.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I'm having so much fun right now.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_03: And then it took so long to get it that I was like, okay, it's actually dark out now for the footage you want to get.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, easy, like, we'll grab your boyfriend's lights.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, oh my good god.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: And then we couldn't get it off the truck because it was so heavy, and then she was like, easy, I it'll be so great for you to find someone to get it off the truck with us.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, what thing?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: Holy crap! And I kept thinking about like I just love her.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_03: Literally, that's that's where this is all coming from.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: But for her, it was like how much fun can we have with each obstacle, with each opportunity?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: It really, I was even the I was like in flow and fun.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: I would not have been having fun though, or it would have really challenged me to experience that as fun if I was doing it by myself.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, which is something with like the wrong, not wrong, but with no butt people.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, with like something that was because you were not like a stick in the mud.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Like you weren't like full, like stopping your feet on the ground or like grumbling.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like I can tell that you were, you know, not like, yeah, this is my favorite, but it wasn't like a heavy energy to I wouldn't say carry, but like be uh energetically like, yeah, let's do this thing.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I appreciate you saying that because one of my devotions to myself is to meet everyone with yes and.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, like I really want to be that type of person for everyone because I just feel like that's just just such a yeah, I know what it does to people's lives.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: Episode, I feel like it's not this episode, but um, yes and without people pleasing, like how to live a yes and life.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: She is the fucking copywriter.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like, do this is a skill that you're just randomly found a million dollar title.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what the heck?
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like the first thought I had it's like, well, some people do yes and everything.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking like it's coming from trauma, it's coming from like please love me.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: Please like me.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I don't even know who I am.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_03: I I have no sense of self.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I would love to talk about how I made fun out of one of the darkest situations this year.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_03: Shocker, right?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: Angela bringing up darkness and transmuthing into playfulness.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Make a dark jump.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: Don't make a dark jump like who killed themselves now.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can't put my boyfriend in the comedy show last night.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: He was like, Yeah, all my girlfriend's friends are suicidal.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: What the you know?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_02: I did personal events of things.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh really?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: I did one, like a little bit like I'm not.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like you should have been like, just I'm not.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Don't steal from me, you know.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just I don't want anyone to be concerned about me.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: Well, what is with that?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like Lindsay was like, Yeah, can't ask them, they're gone.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: So, but like Lindsay was like, you seem to like it's part of your life purpose or something.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's no coincidence that you have like five people like in your lifespan that have off to themselves.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_03: It's like a large amount.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a very large amount.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean I'm stressed all the time.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I do really believe that we have.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I was literally just like in the retreat I was um hosting a workshop at last weekend, I got like off on this tangent of I really feel like God, or whatever you want to call it, gives us the experiences and the story of our life to give us like fuel almost for our mission of like maybe like our rough childhood experiences or all the things really I think help shape us into this person that cares so fucking deeply.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: And also maybe to like walk through the situation so that you can be a teacher or like help other people because I don't feel like the best teachers necessarily like it like comes naturally, like yes, I am like silly, goofy, joyful, but I've had to like fucking walk through feeling like there was no light at the end of the fucking tongue for a very long time of like, oh I know where you're at, I've been where you're at for a very long time.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like you have to be such a student to be able to be at this level where you demonstrate and teach.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: So you're like, I don't know, some experience around that, but god damn, I hope it slows the fuck down.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: No, like yeah, at least we can make jokes now, but yeah, so this year, two people in one year in my life, um, yeah, they passed away on their own terms.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm trying to think of other ways to like say it and see what lands the best.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: That was a good one, right?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: That one felt kind of neutral, passed away on their own turns.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's almost embarrassing because because one thing I am learning is that like there is there is this factor of courage, not trying to personally enable that sort of act.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: I personally don't agree with it.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but yeah, it's it clearly takes balls.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm sure many people are intimidated to attempt, right?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: See, uh, this is quite the heavy topic, so I'm getting used to this.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, this um this past weekend, I mean, why Amy is even in town here in Florida with me is that I produced a trauma show where I tributed it to my two friends, and I even said their names to like this big crowd, and I said that how I felt about it and what my experience was like right before they left, and how it felt after, and it was so vulnerable, and I just feel so proud.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like that is turning the capacity of fun into something, into something I didn't think could be fun.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: And what did that do for you internally?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think it's gonna be a long processor because we're actually just the day after, and I'm on four hours of sleep after the show.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what the fuck?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: But what it has done internally is I think I'm like taking myself more seriously, or like I can I notice the strength or capacity I have for this type of grief.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_02: So you're saying that you feel like having fun with it, yeah, like alongside feels like it's increasing your capacity.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: For sure.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: I so resonate with that.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so I think just like in terms of anything that I'm doing, if I can have moments of at least weaving in fun to parts of it, because I mean, you know, it's not like every single moment of our life is fun.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's fucking human sometimes, and sometimes it might feel like I don't know, just so fucking just impossible to have fun in certain moments, and that's okay.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um you don't have to be like, yeah, everything's the fucking best, or like da-da-da! But when I'm having fun with like a challenging situation when I'm working or whatever it might be, I'm like, oh, this is allowing me to enjoy the journey of it.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's putting fuel in my tank, and I feel like like work is honestly one of my biggest teachers in this life, I would say.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're like dancing around the way I am, like the sous and Angela has described what you've you've called me.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have the energy of a rhino.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, my drive to execute is militant.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how Angela experiences me.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Which I don't talk to Angela how I talk to me.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: Whoa.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: So, like internally, when it's like Amy working with Amy, I can get like hilariously intense and ringwork.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, I've seen her cry on the laptop.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I just can't like what do you say?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: You're so dialed in.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's just like a lot of like it's like an intense standard and not feeling like I'm meeting those standards a lot of times.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like feeling like my brain can feel broken sometimes if I am feeling particularly neurodivergent when I'm like, oh, my brain doesn't work like that, and I'm trying to do this kind of a test.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and you know, we're all learning about it.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, using fun is a strategy in that setting of like, how can I use how much fun do I have today as a measure of success?
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: How can I use the more fun I'm having, actually, the more creative my brain's gonna be, the more regulated my nervous system's gonna be.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: And from that state, I'm actually gonna be able to be more successful, also on like more like traditional terms, because I'm gonna be able to have more creative ideas, creative problem solve on all different kinds of things, and also enjoy it along the way.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like the more you're enjoying yourself, it's like the secret fucking sauce to life.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: The more that you're playing, and it might look a little different sometimes, not like ha ha ha ha in every moment.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: You might just think, oh, like this actually feels fun to create this.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how can I create this to feel like flow?
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Which flow is when your mind ceases to kind of exist in that time space and you're locked in, right?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: And that's kind of and there's like some level of challenge and like playfulness almost in that.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I don't know.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Using fun as a strategy is like the key to life almost for me, I feel like.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I'd love to show a something that snaps me into fun right away.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: What is it?
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's like when I start talking, if I make a while I talk, I get force to have a lot of fun and I wanna keep it going and I wanna have a cool bee and feel really good.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Hey! Yeah, it's so funny.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm also incredibly rhythmic.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: Did you know that?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_02: But I like to do it with other people even more.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean anything with other people.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like just getting people in sync and you're like all doing the same beat, and you're like, oh, so what did you do to expand your capacity of fun?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, what did I do?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um I mean, I'm trying to think where in my journey I want to go.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think my whole life I think I've always been fun.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: So it's just been easy.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like, where the hell is this going?
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: I thought that would be a funny joke.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: So stupid.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: No, um, I mean, I think there's a lot of like almost reparenting.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because you're like rewiring, because there's a a perfectionist overachiever, like all of those voices in my head that was like very hardworking, like always got the straight A's, always like worked this job and then did this side job, and like was also like, I'm gonna try and do this, but um, almost like having to reparent those parts of myself to say, hey, it's okay to have fun.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I think in baby steps, allowing that in rather than like over I mean with fucking anything, you can't just like always just necessarily overhaul your whole life in one go.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, dude, what's this next chapter look like for me?
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: Um and at some point along the line, because it's it's been a whole journey and it's a little wishy-washy, um, I started planning fun out in my week also first before putting the rest of my week in there.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: And that was honestly a pretty big game changer.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a Google Cal girl.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: Google Cal gal.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so like I would like for a while time block all of my things and then try and fit in fun stuff afterwards.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: And like obviously some stuff isn't movable, but having things along the way that's like, ooh, that juices me up.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's like where I kind of go to let go and sing or dance or whatever the things are that fill my cup, and then from there the trickier part has been how to learn to enjoy the journey.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Like, rather than like segment it, like what if it all is.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Which I feel like you you seem pretty good at.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm curious to hear your reflections of your life.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I mean, okay, uh when the pandemic happened, um, and we just had to literally like kill time, I feel like I learned how to start having fun and like what that looked like for me.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: And then I moved to Florida and got to experience like a whole new community, friend group way of living, the beach lifestyle, and I realized that I was getting mentally healthier more than I had ever been growing up.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: So I I started to learn the life hack of like, oh, if like the healthier my mind and body is, like the better my work life will also be.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_03: So I actually like kind of flipped them.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then now now I feel like I'm definitely like in a work and building mode.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um, luckily, with those tools of like I have to have fun and manage myself as like a kid that needs to have recess, right?
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_03: So in my Google Calendar, I color code um all like fun and health things as a blue thing, so that in my calendar, if I don't see much blue, I'm like, girl, what are you doing?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: That's that is more important than the work that you have a paycheck on.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting for me.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: It like starts to blur though because like I fucking love doing this shit.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like and this is fun to me.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, this is fulfilling, this is fun.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: Like, there's like certain parts of work.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I can kind of do this all fucking day.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean not all day, all day.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we've done this all day.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: We have done this all day.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's great, yeah.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: So this clearly fuels us.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh, clearly.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, not the technical difficulty, like for an hour trying to get the mics to work, but other than that, I'm like, yeah, let's go.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, I guess like it's interesting to bridge that gap to of allowing yourself to say, well, some parts of the work are challenging right now, yeah, and how can I enjoy those parts while creating platforms to allow myself to be a metagenius?
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because I think that's the fun part is like being like, oh, I think I'm a genius now.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: Well, what would you say to someone else asking that since you have like literal tools on fun games and mindsets?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_03: Someone asking what?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: How do I incorporate fun even into the parts of my work that I don't have fun in?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it's different for everyone.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um I personally, A, I think it all starts like with the mindset a little bit of like what is your mindset going into this?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you're going into this of like, I fucking hate this, this is gonna be a drag, like this is awful, you're kind of like predicting your own future basically.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so allowing yourself to even just have like I'm open to having fun with this.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: That's kind of where I started with a lot of it, of like, hey, this is a challenge, but I'm open, I'm open, I'm open to having like a miracle happen, and maybe I just enjoy this.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Um, that honestly has helped me a lot.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: I also like to give myself like timers at times of like, okay, like you have to work on this for this amount of time, and like before and after, kind of give it a sandwich.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I get to dance before and after, or I go for a walk outside, or I get to call a friend, or I'm gonna co-work with someone.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Coworking, oh, it's so class.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: Today's episode is sponsored by co-working.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: That was good.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_02: Particularly with people who are in alignment with your workflow.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_02: So you want somebody ideally that has the same-ish ratio of how long they want to be in the zone and also how long they want to connect.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because I've learned there's a spectrum.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: That was really good, Amy.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_03: She's been in her improv mood.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm always in an improv mood.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the improv girl that doesn't do improv.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'm curious to hear more from you about yeah, I don't know, I just see you just fucking around and finding out all the time.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: That's like such a noble compliment.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's just like, I just think it's fucking hilarious to watch Angela go through the world.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like, in the complimentist of a way, she's a fucking alien.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_03: Complimentist.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Complimentist is a word.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Look it up in a dictionary.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: She is a public speaker, by the way.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so revolutionary, I make up my own moment to pioneer.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a revolutionary.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: Here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I feel like you so beat your own fucking drummer, dude.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you are not listening to anyone else's marching orders.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: Literally ever.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we're both like leadership alpha kind of people.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just funny to be around someone and be like, oh, she's she Angela will only go Angela's feet.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: Whoa.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: Does that ever feel off-putting or unsupported?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, um.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I wouldn't say off-putting or unsupportive.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like maybe sometimes I'm like maybe frustrated is the word a little bit.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh, like, I wanna go this pace a little more.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: And you're like, no, like, we're gonna go this pace.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: Angela's gonna go this pace.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: It's like almost like having a child you love, and you're like, okay, I love my kid.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_02: And that's that's the beat that my kid drums to, and that's the pace that they go, and rather than try and like force shame fear them into going my pace.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna be like, okay, you're great.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: How do we work with this together?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, dude.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm also learning that I have a very fast pace.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm learning that my pace, I'm the more time I'm spending with more people, the more oh, my pace is uniquely fast at times.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I can't.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I can like most people don't do that.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_03: Ace does that.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you guys are built the same.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_03: Never been more tired than like well, thanks for your experience.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: I loved hearing like your honest experience with that.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: That's very interesting.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_03: And um, yeah, I mean, all I've got to say to that, like, yeah, that was a really cool feedback.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_03: And when I used to not go to my own pace, I literally was a drug addict.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I couldn't live with the fact that like everyone else needed me to be a certain way in confinement.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it was like hard to live, and now I'm not a drug addict.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, oh my god, like the best thing for me is to go in my flow.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's what all people who um respect alignment are doing.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, how did you make that switch to being like so radically I'm in my flow?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: So radically an alien on planet.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_03: Such an alien, dude.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: And oh my god, I do think I was born with like a certain like I think we're born with some personality traits.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: I know that our environment determines a lot of it, but I just think some of us like we have this like thing in our soul, right?
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like came from before we cultivated as flesh.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: So I do feel that somewhere deep in my stardust soul.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, yeah, because we were talking earlier about like, were we any different as little kids?
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: And all of us are like, you know, that's pretty uh much fits the shoe.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, there's some similarities that were always there, and some things I'm like, no, it was not there.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_03: Well, in school, um when I was younger, I was like the leader, the teacher always wanted me to like like pioneer things for groups or whatever.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and then in college when I cared about the classes, I was taking 4.0, right?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_03: But like for a majority of in between that, um at late elementary school, middle school, especially high school, oh my gosh, I almost didn't graduate high school.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_03: I hated that I was just being forced to learn things that I didn't like, and because of that, I was like the bad kid, the constantly getting yelled at by the teachers or asked to go outside or to the principal's office.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: And so I feel like during those times it really like became frustrating that there was such a different beat of a drum.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: I just had like a revelation but it was very interruptive.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: What was it?
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I was I was um how I even describe this.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: I was a goody two shoes kid, and I think I had a pretty intense case of ADHD that went undiagnosed, and my mom was doing her fucking best to know how to handle me, and she wanted me dearly to like do well in life, yeah, which to her meant like have great grades, be the best of the best.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um and my poor fucking mom would be like trying to get me every night to do my homework, and I'd be like laid out on the chairs in the dining room like night after night, just like I don't wanna.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: And so my mom learned pretty much I like won't do anything if it's not fun.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, exactly.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: That I think that's a sign of leadership, like particularly for Amy.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I don't really like doing something if I don't think it's fun.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like it find it like fucking painful at a certain point.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I've like, you know, I've I have some level of like, okay, like I can like push through this, but it's just where I'm like, oh this is one like I just won't do it.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like my brain is just like eh, eh.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I think that's kind of fucking funny that that's actually the building blocks is what I was like.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, like I was built these building blocks of like I don't have a brain and a body that likes to do stuff that feels out of alignment, basically, that doesn't feel like I am in the energy of aliveness, and that that's what I came here to like thank other people.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, absolutely kind of funny how that all happens, but anyways, I just interrupted your whole story.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't feel interrupted what the fuck?
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like you found like an epiphany from it.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, okay, and how do we how do we how do we help people have more fun out there?
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_02: How do we help them have more like fun in the journey of it all?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Amy, I feel that if anyone took the time to listen to our examples and our personal anecdotes around this, they've probably related to it by going, oh, I guess I do make the choice of playfulness as well in similar topics or similar parts of my own life.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_04: It's almost as if it's about the journey and not so much about the destination.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: Isn't the destination death?
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone's like, what the fuck?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_02: He just starts playing snake sounds on repeat.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone's like checking their poles and goes.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_02: He and Angela have been playing snake sounds in the back of our car rides on repeat for like an hour.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: Well, this has been so nice.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_03: This is our last episode of the day.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm on four hours of sleep.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_03: We're on six, we're rocking.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we are crushing.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_03: We're over here in St.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: Pete, Florida.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so glad that you take the time to share your energy, your space, and your listening ears with us.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I hope any of this made any sense at all to you.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that you choose fun in even little pockets.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, how can we make interactions, the smallest of interactions with other people feel a little more fun?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: Or how can you prioritize fun rather than thinking it's something that you get after you have earned it?
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_04: Uh, because it makes the world a better place.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_04: Because when we show up as our most fun self, we can make a ripper effect in the world.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_04: And we can make someone's day, and you never know where that person's gonna go.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_04: You never know who they're gonna talk to.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe they're a leader of hundreds of people, and you just made their day, and then that person's gonna make decisions that impact thousands of people.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_04: Who knows?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_04: It's all interconnected.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_04: Be the ripple you wish to see in the world.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, be the nipple you wish to see in the world.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, even when you do those playful voices, I see adults like light up, they're like, wait, she mets herself?
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_04: She mets herself.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_04: I can take an accent.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't used to speak in accents once upon a time.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_04: Not that very long ago, I never did.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_04: Did you notice?
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_04: I used to judge myself.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_04: I thought that my accents aren't very good.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_04: Don't be doing them, they're the shit.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_04: And then I stretch it and said, fuck that.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_02: It they are all over the place.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: I don't really know what the fuck they are half the time.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_02: But hi did I I know the speaker of Irish out of the sound of my mouth and say, thank you for commenting and reviewing this podcast.