Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney - Writer’s Retreat or Lesbian Cult Camp?

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Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney - Writer’s Retreat or Lesbian Cult Camp? · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

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Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Plot with Carla and
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Emily. In this episode we're reading
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Beautiful Ugly by Alice Feeney. We are talking about the entire
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book, so warning there will be spoilers.
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I'm Carla and you've been served a triple Decker shit sandwich
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with a side of completely fucked, but it's exactly what
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you ordered. I'm Emily, and the scariest
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monsters are the ones that smile at you.
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I couldn't find any other quote. Very scary, does it the clown
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smile. I don't know, I'm scared of
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scared of clowns. Oh, so you have not?
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No. Viewed the cinematic
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masterpiece. That is it.
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One time I did view that cinematic masterpiece.
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And Oh dear. To be at a 13 year old sleepover
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party and I remember her mum turned off the power.
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Mid stop. What a psychopath.
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And I haven't recovered. It's been like 17 years.
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It's been 84 years before we dive into the beautiful, ugly
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mess that is this book, complete with secrets, vasectomies and a
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lesbian awakening. We've got a tiny favour to ask.
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If you've enjoyed our previous episodes or if you just want to
1:28
encourage quite possibly the most unreliable narrators of all
1:31
time, leave us a five star review.
1:33
Your review helps more people find our podcast and unlike the
1:37
characters in this book, we actually want to be found.
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Thanks Queens. Now let's get ready to hop on a
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one way ferry to nowhere. OK, I could not find official
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trigger warnings. Trigger warnings by us the most
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reliable of all time, the goats if you will.
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Trigger warnings. Man.
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Man just men or man multiple? OK plural plural men.
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I feel there was men in the past but present.
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One man I said emotional abuse and domestic abuse and there was
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definitely themes of pedophilia, grooming and implied sexual
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abuse of a minor. Yes, gaslighting, psychological
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abuse, drugging, alcoholism. Yes, look, there's a lot.
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Nothing. And there you have it, trigger
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warnings complete. I picked a more of a mainstream
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thriller because I like talking about them sometimes, but I
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didn't expect to be in the head of a man.
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A whiny man, not a. Whiny man.
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A man approaching his midlife crisis time, huh?
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Because I'm so used to being in a female character's head.
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I know it's written by a woman, but it's still a man.
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It's still a man. It's still a man and it was
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disgusting and whiny. Oh, anyway, the first it was, it
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was the first. The first chapter was literally
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a man. What?
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I have been alone while married while doing no work.
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Big oof. Big oof.
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Honestly. He's expecting his wife to be
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there at every beck and. Call the lifestyle of a king.
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Lifestyle of the rich and famous they're always.
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Complaining. What do we even do?
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Like Grady? How old was?
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It I don't even 40 or 40s forty. Because she wanted a baby by 40,
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he's. Giving. 45 He's giving 50.
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Like I'm so sorry if you're 45 and you slay, but Grady does
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not. Slay Grady does not Slay been
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slayed, it's not. I just don't.
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Literally, if I was not forced this upon myself, I would not
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read it purely on the whininess. Us Loki, we are the whiniest
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bitches. Ow, that's.
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Fine, at least it's funny. You know I want it.
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She's not here on time for my book.
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Call because she's always late at work.
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But like and she never cares about being home.
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You live in the middle of nowhere.
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What does he sound like? He's 70.
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Stephen. As Grady, yes.
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Also he was getting a phone call, yes.
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Like fucking shut up. She doesn't physically have to
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be there for the phone call you idiot.
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Also he was calling her to see where she was like he doesn't
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have life 360. Exactly.
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She was 2 minutes down the road. And wasn't she just racing home
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like she's going home, Yes. So shut up.
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She's not like. She's trying to make a fancy
4:51
dinner and you plan to propose and the dessert is melting.
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I just I want to point out too, why is she rushing the whole
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point of you forcing her not to have children because you don't
5:01
want children? Fair fair.
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You could date other people but say they don't want children
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because they have careers. She's gonna be late home.
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That's the whole point of not having a child, to have a
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career. It makes no sense.
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But he resented her for everything she has to do that
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isn't directly related. To him, God forbid, God forbid
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exactly woman have a life. Like what he wanted was a
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barefoot and pregnant type of wife, but at the same time he
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didn't want kids. He wanted her to revolve.
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Around his personality. But he's an author.
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He has spare time, he can work from home, he can do flexible
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hours. The woman can't be that
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available. Exactly.
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She's a journalist. She also has to be places.
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I feel like if you're a journalist, you can't just do
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that from home all the time. You've got to be out and about,
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babe. Look, I already hated him, so
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it's fine. Abby is late 30s then.
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Or I think they're the same age. He's so worried about his
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legacy. You can't have a legacy if you
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have no children. But like, write better books
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then. Also also the like he needs pure
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quiet to write. Get some headphones you loser.
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Exactly. Oh my God, what time period is
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this? The 1900s, he's like, there's
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too many noises. He would.
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Never be able to date me. He would die.
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Are you kidding? I'm always screaming in my
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house. Exactly what would he do?
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Jobless. You know what?
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He just can't handle a baddie. That's the problem.
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And Abby's a baddie. I'm calling it now.
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Further on, he's like, oh, I never read anything she wrote,
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but I forced her to read everything I wrote.
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What a flop. She writes articles.
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They take two minutes. Yeah.
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His. Take probably 2 years to read
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because you've got to keep putting it down because you're
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like, it's like that big paperweight book that you're
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like. It's how I read this.
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Oh. What genre does he write?
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Psychological thriller. So I feel like his books are
7:08
really chunky. Yes.
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And he's like, oh, I'm not going to make it on the New York Times
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beginning. Shut up.
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Shut up, no one every authors on there at this point.
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Fucking Penelope Douglas is probably on there.
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I'm pretty sure you can make it, babe.
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Anytime you go on like Amazon to buy on your Kindle, say it's
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like a New York Times best seller.
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Exactly every single right. He's like that guy who shows up
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for a signing. This actually dead ass happened
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and someone mistook him for a different guy.
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Exactly. You're a nobody, babe.
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Time, I told. It's so kid.
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What? It's what he deserves.
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Honestly, people bring it. All like fuck off at this bully,
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just do the fucking island sooner.
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Bitch you nobody us bitch gravy. But anyway, it is what it is.
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Anyway, he's on the phone to his back into reality.
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They goes gravity. He's on the phone to his wife
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whining in his head that we're stuck in.
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Apparently anyway, she's like get off the phone.
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I hate you, bitch. She's like, get off the phone.
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There's a lady. Down, deeper, down, deeper.
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Down. In a red coat.
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Deeper down and then. He goes, don't get out of the
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car, don't do it for your own safety.
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It's so unsafe. Anyway, kidnapped.
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Anyway, Abby goes missing. So something went down, guys.
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Something went down. At this point of the book, we
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don't know what so all we know he was on the phone with her.
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Don't do it, I'll come get you, blah blah blah.
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All they can hear is breathing on the phone.
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Then they only find her red coat.
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And. Apparently every other bitch has
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worn yeah. It's thrifted.
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OK, Fast forward one year later. Brady's depressed.
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He can't write. He did make the best sells list,
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by the way. But he can't.
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Write He can't write. He never could.
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He's. Got depressor martini because
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his wife Abby, that night, she just fucked off into the mist.
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I don't know. She's valid so fast.
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She's gone. She's fucking out.
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Gone gold. She's gone gold.
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OK. Deep it down, deep it out.
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Deep diva dipped down and out Deep.
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Over and out you're crying. Like what happens to the line
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360 at that point? They found the coat.
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What about the cell phone? Her phone was in the car.
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She left it on the seat, not on the seat, on her windshield.
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Sticky. That was like he was like I ran
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to a car and it was on the seat. Any who he hasn't written a
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book. No, they want their money back.
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Oh yeah, they're like, girl, when is the next book coming up?
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Kitty's like I can fix it. He's like I can't pay it back.
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I'm broke. Broke.
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His fuck broke. So his money's dwindling, his
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publicist. Is Kitty, Yes.
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Who's also his like godmother or something?
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Because she's really close with Abby.
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Were they introduced by Kitty or something?
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No, OK hang on, I had to look this up because I don't remember
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hearing at any point they worked together on a news station and
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him being an alcoholic and his rage issues.
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He didn't get fired, but he lost his job or something.
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So they didn't meet on a plane. No what?
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The fuck was that about? That was Kitty.
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Yeah, but that was weird. Yeah, so.
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OK, can we just go there for a second?
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Because it was one of the friskier parts of this book.
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It was very muddy book. Weird.
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It was bizarre. One thing, hear me out.
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You hang on. Hang on.
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We knew he sucked because we thought it was original Abby,
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right? And then you're going to tell me
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you're going to pick a man that's an author that can't even
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read his ticket to marry, all because you have a Ryder kink?
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I think just kind of like the arrogance of being like, I'm
11:16
gonna sit on the window seat. There's not a thing you could
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say to me after that you were rude to a random person you
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didn't know. Mm hmm.
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But all is good because Abby has a riding kink and she's like
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fuck yeah. I love authors froth, right?
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Who? Who they sit next together.
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And then he finger bangs her. That bit was wild.
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I was like, I thought I didn't pick a smart.
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I didn't pick. I was like.
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I was like, what? He turned off the lights and
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then they both pretended to sleep and I was like.
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And you were so pick me afterwards.
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Yes. EW.
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Anyway, he raced off the flight, he bought flowers and chocolates
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and shit and was like, I met a girl.
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Did ya? Did ya?
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But what are the logistics of that?
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Just the finger blasting on the plane?
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I feel like that's an awkward position you own.
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Wouldn't be me, you know? Yeah, I would feel like I'm
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sexually assaulting everyone around me.
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Was it an overnight? Yeah.
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I'm thinking maybe you could finesse the first class with the
12:15
proper lying down pod, but on the full 90° upright.
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What Like what? Like how are you doing that kind
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of reach around situation like no thanks.
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Not me the. Hell, what the hell.
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But anyway, that was just a fun back story into Kitty's past
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because guess what? Her name's Abby Tubich.
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Yeah. So you think that's how her and
12:38
Grady meet. So anyway, with Grady, he's
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like, oh, my God, I'm so depressed, what am I going to
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do? And then Kitty goes, hey, I know
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of this place you can go. You'll be able to write books
12:49
again. Yeah.
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You need a break. Snap out of it hard.
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It's been a year. It's quiet.
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So she sends him on the one way ferry to Amber Lee.
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Amber. Lee doesn't matter who gives us
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what the. Fuck, is it Albany?
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Anthony Albanese? I'm.
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Thinking the same thing anyway, anyway after.
13:10
Anthony Albanese and he. Gets on the boat, he's not
13:13
allowed to take his car for some weird reason.
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Man doesn't know how to look around.
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Realistic. And then he's not allowed to
13:22
take his car. He can only take out what he
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can. And then he gets driven by the
13:27
sheriff to his house. He has a look around.
13:30
It's modern and stuff. But then we hear about how he's
13:32
in a huge alcoholic. Yeah.
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And like, I already hated you and now you're just gonna tell
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me you're annoying alcoholic and I already thought she hated him
13:42
as well. We're like 3 chapters in at this
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point. Yeah, I was like, whatever is
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happening is so valid. It's not getting any better,
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Grady was giving. Have you seen Secret Window with
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Johnny Depp? No.
13:53
Oh. Someone out there would have
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seen it. It was giving that energy.
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Exactly. He can't read, he can't write,
14:00
he can't read them out. Sandy's like the one sheriff and
14:03
he he finds out there's only 25 people on the whole island.
14:05
She was confusing too because I swear they said she was younger
14:10
and then she's got a 40 year old daughter.
14:13
Maybe you're confusing her with Cora?
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No, Cora was older. That's right.
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Fuck, I don't know. There's 25 people.
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We still don't know who they. Are there's 25 people?
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We've only seen three women. So he's not thinking too much
14:25
about it because he's like, OK, this is cool to have this cabin.
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I'll be able to, I don't know, like, how do you even get enough
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groceries? I'd be like, girl, what if I
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want a Kit Kat in the middle of the night?
14:35
Like what do I do then? Yeah, it wouldn't be me.
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Because there's no shipment. Also he went into this like a
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lodging and it was clean. He's like, Kitty must have paid
14:44
someone. When, When would she have the
14:46
time? You got on the next ferry.
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There's one ferry every couple of weeks.
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Yeah. I'd be like, hmm, seems a bit
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planned. Kitty had time to plan it if she
14:55
wanted to, yes. If she was like, I'm going to
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send him there to do the next book.
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Yeah. But wouldn't that be a bit suss?
15:00
I'm like, who's paying for this? Because who puts money up front,
15:03
considering he was practically to the point of owing her money
15:07
by then? Finances confused me in this
15:10
book. Yeah, in a way, because I'm
15:12
like. He had no money, no house.
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I think he lost his house. No family like no friends.
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No, he lost his family too. But no friends at all.
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None, Kitty, or no one, because Abby's gone.
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Up. That's why I'm like, maybe this
15:26
was planned for a lot longer because they kind of isolated
15:30
him first or. He just sucks as a person.
15:33
Yeah, true, he can't. Maintain a friendship.
15:36
Giving him too much credit. Exactly.
15:38
So they flash back and forward sometimes.
15:41
So we're finding out a bit about their relationship when they
15:43
were supposedly happy and together.
15:45
It sounds like their relationship sucks.
15:46
Yes. Fuck it sounds terrible.
15:49
They didn't like each other, they tell each other.
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I hope you die in your sleep as a cutie little thing.
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And I really think she meant it. Dead arse.
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Well, so why are you married to a man, right?
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You mean you can't even fucking tell him that you hate fish and
16:04
chips? That's weird.
16:06
She's part of the problem. She's part of the problem.
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She's like, he doesn't treat me nicely, Backbone.
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Though it's like what are you? Doing as well.
16:15
You know better. You're allowing yourself to
16:18
revolve around his life in a way.
16:20
Yeah. It's because she goes.
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Oh, he won't let me do this. He won't let me do that.
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And it's like. But then she's also isolating
16:26
him as well. I don't know of which Abby this
16:28
was, but like, there's the Abby where they go to the party and
16:31
he's like talking to everyone. And she's like, you don't even
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talk to me. Yeah.
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Or you don't even smile to me. And it's like.
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She's insecure as well. So I'm like, he's isolating
16:40
himself. You're also trying to isolate
16:42
him and yourself, but you're also blaming him.
16:46
A week before she disappeared, she was inventing everything to
16:50
a therapist, and it sounded like she was just gearing up to leave
16:53
him. Which fine.
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When she started venting to the therapist is when I decided she
16:57
was kidnapped into a lesbian cult.
16:59
So. Although I feel like she was
17:04
very wary of the therapist simply because she looked nice
17:08
and had blonde hair and I was like, so you hate women in a
17:11
way. I was like, she's very easily
17:13
intimidated. I want to point out this book
17:16
turned me into a misogynist very fast.
17:18
Oh. Thought you ready wear one?
17:21
No, no. Oh my.
17:23
Bad misogynist maybe, but they're just like, maybe I do
17:27
hate women. Maybe.
17:28
Maybe. Just in this book, they suck all
17:32
honestly suck. Notably, they're sucking.
17:34
Oh they're all sucking clipped at this point but I was like
17:40
don't make me feel sorry for a man.
17:42
There was a small 2nd and then I was like yous are all fucking
17:46
weird. He's weird.
17:47
Who are we? This is now a men's rights
17:49
podcast. Yes, hashtag Justice McGrady.
17:52
I was like, I am never gonna read anything by this woman
17:55
again. Purely because she made me
17:57
believe a man for a second. Oh no, for a second.
18:02
Honestly, though, I don't even know.
18:04
Like ultimately I Loki still feel bad for Grady.
18:07
And what does that mean? What does that mean about me?
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That's what I have my regrets. He.
18:12
Sucked and I feel. Sucked, but also he sucked in
18:17
ways that any mediocre man sucks.
18:20
Being a bit self-centered, being ignorant.
18:24
It was the stuff at the end that I was like, OK, that's a bit too
18:26
far, babes. That's but then but then still
18:30
felt bad for you and I was like how hey you.
18:34
How dare you looking in the mirror?
18:36
How? Dare.
18:37
He's like, don't you fucking dare, don't you?
18:40
Dare. Honestly though, it's normalized
18:42
because if you think about, for example, like you on Netflix.
18:46
Yes. What the fuck?
18:49
Why is the male the sympathetic character when they're the
18:52
obviously the bad guy? Oh, I.
18:54
Hate them main character in you. Oh, Penn Bagley hates the main
18:59
character in you. But I was like, I just kept my
19:02
brain was like how dare they. How dare they make me feel bad
19:06
for the shit fucking person. Oh.
19:09
What a roller coaster. It was a roller coaster.
19:12
I was flip flopping between sandry and misogyny.
19:15
It was wild. I was like.
19:18
I just hate everyone. I need to go back to real life.
19:21
He's been there for a little bit, he's acclimatising, he's
19:24
like OK, he's getting a bit of a routine.
19:25
He's got his dog there. He starts seeing Abby
19:29
everywhere. He just assumes everyone's
19:31
fucking Abby. Yes, 'cause he's haunted, Yes,
19:35
haunted. And.
19:36
They're like, it's a haunted island.
19:37
And then he'll be like, oh, it's definitely hurt.
19:39
And then he'll see the same chick the next day and she'll
19:42
have like red hair or something like nothing like Abby.
19:44
And then he'll be like, and he was setting him up.
19:47
I think he was setting him up to be a full blown alcoholic, yes,
19:49
or having a psychotic break, yes, because he did US says like
19:53
it's Abby. And then the next day he'll be
19:55
like oh that girl has brown eyes and Abby had green eyes or some
19:58
shit. Blue I think.
19:58
Whatever the fuck. Yeah.
19:59
And then he'll be like, oh. He was first in there, he'd seen
20:02
her on the rune and then he ran in there and they're like, Nah,
20:05
that's Mira. He's in his cabin for like 5
20:09
minutes and he finds bones under the floor.
20:12
But how did he find it so easily?
20:14
The dog. Oh, but they're bones.
20:17
There's no meat. There's a loose floorboard,
20:19
babes. There's a loose floorboard.
20:21
There's a dog. There's a dog.
20:23
Looking for bones? Looking for a snack?
20:26
What would you do if you found human remains in your Airbnb?
20:29
Leave the island. I wouldn't have even been on the
20:35
island. It's.
20:36
Only a hand though. Yeah, but it was propped up on a
20:39
like a pillow, like a velvet pillow down to the floor,
20:43
pointing to his manuscript. So he then stole.
20:49
Look, I would steal it. Too, Would you?
20:52
Yes. Oh, I don't know.
20:54
Like it was called Book 10. It was supposedly really good I
20:58
feel. Like even if you didn't want to
21:00
steal it, you could be like hey to Kitty, I found this
21:04
manuscript of his. Could this suffice as a?
21:08
Yeah, but his ego can't handle it.
21:12
So he looked at it and goes, oh, this is the shortcut that I
21:16
definitely need right now. Yes, but why don't you just read
21:19
it like he spent no time reading it.
21:21
It sounded like he was just like cool cut and.
21:23
Paste Honestly he's doing nothing else though so he can
21:26
sit in a cabin for hours reading.
21:28
Or just make your own idiot. But it takes him forever to even
21:31
get a printer. He was stressing Cora out.
21:35
She was like I need this printer babes.
21:37
Also I would love to know how they order shit.
21:40
You got no phone lines? This man asked no questions, no
21:44
Internet and she just orders you a printer?
21:46
Yeah. She says she can get everything.
21:49
Maybe they have pigeon mail and they just write down what they
21:52
want and. Then she's like give me the
21:54
exact one and he was like yes I know the exact printer I want.
21:58
Yep. Weird.
22:00
Weird, weird, weird. Honestly, if this was me, like
22:04
bones aside, I'd be kind of digging it.
22:07
I'd be like, yes, Cabin in the woods.
22:09
Yes, swimming on the island. Well, he doesn't even realize
22:13
that he's the only man yet, because he's an idiot.
22:16
But wouldn't that be fun living in a cabin?
22:19
It's a bit spooky ooky, but you've got your dog there.
22:21
You've got infinite time to work on a new book, That'd be great.
22:25
I love how when he was trying to give a reason to get off the
22:27
island he was like oh I want to go to the theatre, book
22:31
signings, all this other shit, the beach and abbys in the
22:34
background. Like he never fucking house
22:36
loser. Oh.
22:38
Never left. And then Cora would just be
22:40
like, oh cool, there's no fairies, bitch.
22:43
Why would you go to an island? Hear me out, I would go to the
22:47
island if it had a timetable that was like we have regular
22:50
ferries home. I'm not going to one that may or
22:53
may not. And how do you have two ferries
22:56
coming in a week and then none going out?
23:00
What's happening with those ones?
23:01
Exactly. Teleporting back.
23:03
Someone's got to drive it back. Also how are you getting your
23:06
mail? Like get on the mail boat.
23:08
It's this, but it's the same ferry.
23:10
If there's a passenger ferry going to the island, where does
23:13
it go next? It's just, do you know what I
23:15
mean? Like make it into a trip back.
23:19
It's got to go back at some point.
23:20
Dumb fuck. Oh, and I think isn't it Sandy
23:23
in charge of yes, driving it there?
23:25
That's why I thought Sandy was in her 30s.
23:27
Sandy is like 80. But like what?
23:31
She's a busy gal. She's the sheriff because what?
23:34
Happens if Sandy's going to take the tourists back, which there
23:38
isn't tourists, but still. And there's a crime.
23:41
Murder on the Island. Well, there was a murder and she
23:44
was like, it was no, no worries. She's like all good, no worries.
23:50
Her sister accidentally LED it up.
23:52
I don't know why she would have told him.
23:54
Just a random man floated to shore dead.
23:57
Yeah, but he was beach tooth being natural causes.
24:02
Yummies. And was that supposed to be the
24:04
author before him? I think it was the author before
24:06
him, I. Love how there was just things
24:08
put into the plot that never circle back.
24:11
Like he thought the priest lady was hot as fuck and then it just
24:15
never circled back. I thought he'd at least try and
24:18
get some. Yeah.
24:21
On the island. He had two conversations with
24:23
her, thought she was hot to. Make him look bad, you know what
24:25
I mean? To make him look like a you
24:27
know. I'm like, it's been a year, you
24:29
can move on at that point. I know it was weird.
24:32
I'm like, I also thought they were eating humans at some
24:34
point. They just went full yellow
24:37
jackets. They were.
24:39
He went into the butchers and he she's like, it looks like a
24:42
human back there. We never circled back.
24:44
She's a human eating. I love how everyone
24:47
simultaneously decided to spook this guy out.
24:50
Yes, I feel like this is what they do.
24:51
They just get one man at a time and fuck with him.
24:55
I'm like, what else are you going to do?
24:56
At this point? I already worked out the book.
24:59
I was writing down my theories as I thought them OK, and I
25:03
nailed it on the first one. I think I was chapter 25 and I
25:07
was like, what did I put all women on the island from the
25:10
articles, no men are allowed and they kill them all.
25:12
So I already good for a year. Yeah.
25:14
How many? Chapters are there.
25:16
There was like something like 45.
25:18
Oh, so you got it halfway through?
25:19
Yeah, that's very good. Yeah, I might.
25:22
Not even trying. My other theories were weirder.
25:26
They're gonna let me find it. It's a lesbian cult close.
25:30
close. She was kidnapped by her
25:33
therapist. Because it was like maybe the
25:34
first one to write, not. That's zesty.
25:36
I like that. And then I was like, she was
25:38
kidnapped by the women for writing about them.
25:41
Yeah, that's it. I did.
25:42
I thought she was kidnapped. I was like, someone's coming for
25:46
her. I also write they hate men
25:48
because they're whiny losers. I knew it was a man hating
25:52
island regardless. I love that I was just along for
25:56
the ride. No, because I didn't even want
25:59
to read it by this point and I was like, if I don't work it
26:02
out, I didn't want to look it up and ruin it for myself to see if
26:04
I could work it out as well, and I did.
26:07
Grady learns from Sandy at some point that there was some creepy
26:10
alcoholic teacher let the kids just run wild and they all
26:13
drowned in the sea caves. And now they just listen to the
26:16
kids crying. Yeah, just in the case.
26:20
Also the. Island, it's all good.
26:21
Is in fact creepy man's fault, but it also is in fact everyone
26:25
elses fault on the island. Yeah like what do you mean that
26:29
kid went to multiple parents and then they all just ended up in a
26:34
cave? Hear me out.
26:35
This is my logic. If you've got a dangerous cave
26:37
on an island, you know fills up with water, wouldn't you be in
26:42
your teachings? Be like, hey, reminder everyone
26:44
all the time to like once a week, say it's parade at school.
26:48
Be like, hey, reminder, we're not going into this cave because
26:50
it fills up with water and you get trapped in it.
26:52
If there's 25 people living there, everyone would know the
26:56
law of the DMC cave. Yes and like also if it's all in
27:00
walking distance 5 minutes to each side of the island, the
27:04
kids can do it at any point so you'd be better off teaching on.
27:07
That's just me. But why were they going in there
27:09
all at once? Weren't they hiding from him?
27:11
At the end of the book it says he came back to the island as
27:16
revenge and he tried to do something to Abby but she pushed
27:20
him over and she thought she killed him and then she went to
27:24
get a friend, which was Sandy's daughter, and then all the other
27:27
kids followed. And that's weird, like, oh,
27:29
cool, let's go into a cave to die now.
27:31
Yeah. What?
27:32
Also, why are they blaming her? Well, she was blaming herself.
27:35
Yes. That's why she was like haunted
27:37
by it and shit. But then if you're Sandy and all
27:39
that, wouldn't you be like, bitch the fuck yeah.
27:42
Why are you just welcoming her back?
27:44
Because I suppose she was a child.
27:46
But also this is on everyone, not just one or two people.
27:51
Anyway, she's getting drunk in a cave.
27:53
Apparently he's spiralling because he thinks she's read the
27:58
manuscript and she'll tell anyone who gives a fuck.
28:01
They're on a random fucking island.
28:02
Use the island against them. Make a deal with Sandy and say
28:06
look, I did take his draft and I'm actually re editing it
28:10
because I want him. I want it to live on in his
28:12
legacy or something. But.
28:13
Also or say nothing because who's going to take the Batty
28:17
woman on the island side that's crying in a fucking cave gives a
28:21
fuck. I think his ego can't handle it
28:23
if even those people on the island knew that he took it.
28:27
Because remember when she implied we would never steal
28:29
something, Would we? About the car?
28:30
Yeah. And then he was like his asshole
28:33
pocket about it and I'm like, shut up, Grady.
28:35
To be fair, they were all fucking with him because they
28:37
would say very open things and then they'd be like, no, I said
28:40
this so. Gaslighting to his face.
28:42
It was great. The thing that had me creased
28:44
the most is when the fucking walkie talkies and he found the
28:48
frequency and they were just talking about him.
28:50
I wish they said so much more. Yeah, that would have made it
28:55
actually funny. Like how do you have that
28:56
opportunity and not make it that they were talking about a small
28:59
Dick or something? Yeah, just also I think it's
29:02
really wild that they've got while he's panicking on the
29:05
phone trying to call Kitty, they someone climbed a tree to cut
29:08
the fucking line. Yeah, like be so for real.
29:11
There's fucking. You don't have a newborn, do you
29:14
not? Have a newborn at home?
29:16
The reception's amazing and you can't tell me otherwise.
29:19
They've got everything. They've got the 5G coverage.
29:22
They just told him no and then he believed it.
29:25
Such a man behaviour. And imagine not knowing anyone's
29:28
number but Kitty's. And then he got a phone call
29:30
from the wife and it was just like the ocean noise.
29:32
I'll be like. Why is she doing what she's
29:37
doing? But.
29:38
Why is she almost like making it his problem?
29:41
He didn't drown the kids in the sea cave.
29:43
That's. What I mean getting up him for
29:45
the thing he did do. And they were slowly killing off
29:48
the men on the island. I'm like, I'm convinced Charlie.
29:51
Because Charlie killed himself, right?
29:54
Charles, yeah. Charles killed himself.
29:56
I'm convinced he won't batshit crazy because they wouldn't let
29:59
him off the island. Probably because and.
30:01
Why did they invite another male author?
30:03
Why does it have to be male? Why if it's a woman, I I That's
30:08
what pisses me off the most and I'm glad you bring it up.
30:12
Why if you hate male, why bring male?
30:16
Why bring male to islands? Only male, right?
30:19
Right. I'm male Typey, typey monkey.
30:22
Monkey Typewriter. But also you're like, you're so
30:25
against man, which is valid, valid valid, so fair man suck.
30:32
Man. Suck.
30:33
Suck. But like, why can't a woman make
30:37
you that money? Look, you do everything on the
30:39
island. You've got a tree, Dr. You've
30:40
got a doctor, you've got a butcher.
30:42
Abby's already a journalist. She's a.
30:44
Segue her into writing novels. Exactly.
30:46
Why do you have to write novels? Why?
30:48
Why is that the money? Plan I'm like, why are you
30:51
making it that you need a man when you clearly don't need a
30:54
man? Do you know what I mean?
30:55
That's what it's doing. They're like, oh, we don't need
30:58
any men, but we need a man to make us money.
31:01
No, you fucking. Author why not do tourism and
31:05
only let women come for girl retreats?
31:07
Do you know what I mean? Like why aren't you leaning into
31:09
your weird cult thing? Yes.
31:12
Hello. So he's got a ferry.
31:15
Just ferry them in. Ferry them out.
31:16
Why he's not taking more of kitties commissions?
31:19
Right, I think if you really loved the island you should set
31:23
up girls trips away to the cabin like hosted and then have book
31:28
readings or some shit if you're obsessed with books and then
31:30
send them back. On yoga yoga retreats for three
31:33
days exactly they. 'D be making bank, how are they
31:35
going to make money on residuals of some loser who might not
31:38
write a good? Book exactly.
31:41
Mike dropped it just. Really picked me, pissed me off.
31:45
It's me it. Really picked me.
31:48
Anyways, it made no sense. Nothing made any sense.
31:51
So he did something wrong. OK, yes, ultimately he sucks.
31:57
He. Sucks.
31:57
He fucking sucks. He pretty much tried to kill his
32:00
wife. Like that's the ultimate.
32:02
End game of all of this. Why the fuck is the choice to
32:07
put him on an island which isn't even that bad to live there and
32:10
let him play out a job he already does?
32:12
Wouldn't you figure out his worst fear or something he
32:15
dislikes doing and force him to do it?
32:18
It did. That's how he died like.
32:20
Oh yeah, but they heard it leading up to that point.
32:23
I just think it could have been done in so many other ways.
32:27
Kitty could have taken more percentage of him and being
32:30
like, this is how we're paying the advance off and just
32:32
funneled it into the island. Yeah.
32:34
Also, why are you going to have your attempted murderer on your
32:40
island? That's what I mean.
32:42
I'm like so she can look at him every day?
32:44
Mm hmm that makes no fucking sense.
32:46
And he could. Be living his best life.
32:47
I if that was me, I'd get a push bike and I would put a basket on
32:51
it and I would just be gayly riding around.
32:54
But I'm like, yeah, exactly. And hitting on the priestly and
32:58
I'd be like putting I know the dog's a big dog, but he's in the
33:01
basket. And I'm just like me, living my
33:04
best. Life bitch.
33:05
But I'm like, if he's going to their sanctuary, they hate men.
33:10
She's almost twice, almost been murdered by this man and you're
33:14
just going to let him have? So what?
33:16
Is she just supposed to live so she doesn't see him?
33:21
That makes no sense. He hated kids and now she's got
33:24
to try keep her baby safe. Also now he's in a kid free
33:28
community, he hates kids, there's no kids because they all
33:32
died. He's living his best life and
33:34
you can't convince me otherwise. Also if I'm a man and there's 25
33:37
women, guess what? I just became the alpha.
33:40
Everyone who still likes penis wants a bit of mine.
33:43
I'm like also not. Everyone turned gay, OK?
33:45
OK OK also putrid man and he issues alcoholic right?
33:51
Right. Already tried to kill his wife.
33:53
What's stopping him from raping 25 women on the island?
33:55
Exactly. Like you can't be everywhere at
33:58
once. Exactly.
33:59
You just let Sandy in The Cave with him.
34:01
I. Feel like he wasn't a rapist.
34:04
No, I don't think he was a rapist.
34:06
It wasn't his MO, he was, but he was very.
34:08
Aggressive, but also you don't know that either.
34:12
I feel like he wasn't like I feel like I could take him.
34:15
He had to drug her to pull off the plot in the 1st place.
34:19
Like what a weak bitch. I suppose they were drugging him
34:22
all the time too. Yeah, but he was an alcoholic.
34:25
Like he was doing it to himself. You just offered to pay my
34:29
bills. I can gaily ride around this
34:31
island. I've got my dog with me.
34:33
Hello. Yeah, I've got chicks all up on
34:36
my Dick because I'm the only man here.
34:37
Like, this is great. This is better than the
34:40
mainland. What do you mean?
34:42
And also I would just take half of.
34:44
Them are like 80. Well, whatever.
34:47
And I'd be like. I've got no preference.
34:50
I'd be like. Oh, your name's Aubrey.
34:53
Oh, cool. Hi, Aubrey.
34:55
Like I would just go. Also this also stupid makes no
35:00
sense is they're trying to convince give everyone a reason
35:03
to murder him right. She's like I'm going to make you
35:06
understand why you need murdering.
35:08
They put Sandy a grown ass woman in a cave crying drinking right
35:12
about her dead child. Valid so fair.
35:15
And then? Why isn't that location?
35:19
But then he goes to find her and he goes, do you want me to drive
35:24
you home? You shouldn't drive.
35:26
And she goes, no, leave me in here.
35:28
He can't force her. Yeah.
35:30
So weak. He's weak.
35:32
One he's being respectful to, even though it's in his own
35:36
interest. You can't fucking drag a woman
35:39
into a car. Yeah, on an island that's
35:42
community based. They're going to be pissed at
35:44
you. The sheriff, she could lock you
35:45
in the slammer. Exactly.
35:47
Pretty much physically assaulting, dragging you out of
35:49
The Cave. If she's suicidal, she's going
35:51
to find a way to do it. I'd be like it just keeps.
35:54
I would suggest not staying in the Creek but then.
35:56
He leaves The Cave, hits his wife on a bike and then has to
36:00
help her, right? Is this when she's still Aubrey?
36:04
Yes, that's just when he finds it finally and he's like, this
36:07
is my wife. And that's weird too because she
36:10
goes, I just need to quickly get somewhere.
36:12
So she drives, makes him drive her to her pottery little house
36:16
thing. She's there for 10 minutes to
36:18
get her wedding ring out of a drawer because it's that
36:21
necessary, right? And then he asks no fucking
36:25
question. He's exactly she's name dropped
36:27
his dog. Twice.
36:29
Yeah. And then he goes.
36:29
This isn't the time and place. So do you want to know or not?
36:33
Because if that was me, I'd be shaking that bitch.
36:34
I'd be like, bitch, who is you? Who?
36:36
Is you? How long have you been here?
36:38
You don't know this face. How does when did you find out
36:41
my dog's name? And then she just leaves.
36:44
So she was in a in a rush to get her wedding ring and then just
36:47
leave and go home. And then Sandy's fucking missing
36:50
out this point and they're like it's all his fault.
36:54
How? 1 was suicidal. 1 was hit by a
36:57
car. Obviously, you're supposed.
37:01
To do and that would. Be everywhere.
37:03
He can't do everyone, man. She's probably got a concussion.
37:06
Probably he just found out she's married.
37:09
Oh, exactly. Oh, oh.
37:11
The best part was that. Oh.
37:14
Where he's like he will. Marry Gus.
37:16
She's like, yeah, I'm married to the tree.
37:19
Dr. Travers. Tell me why.
37:21
The second he heard about Travers.
37:24
He was. He was ready to call him Daddy,
37:26
and he was wanting to back it up on him.
37:28
You can't tell me otherwise. He was imagining this jacked man
37:32
in flannel lumberjack wielding an axe.
37:36
Yes. He was frothing.
37:38
Yeah, and he's like, I just think about it all the time.
37:41
He thinks about him banging Aubrey AKA.
37:46
She's he's picturing her getting Dick down.
37:49
She's actually getting, she's actually getting seasoned and.
37:54
Not only that, he's like, I need to know who this man is shut.
37:58
Up. Look around the fucking island,
38:00
my guy. There's none.
38:01
She's moved on, babe. But anyway, he hunts her down.
38:05
Yeah. Finds out it's a her and he
38:08
shook because not only is she just hot as fuck, she's like a
38:12
decade younger than him. Also, this man's got no
38:14
deduction skills, does he? Because he knew she was
38:18
pregnant. There's a baby there, there's no
38:20
kids on the island, and you're not gonna put two and two
38:23
together stupid anyway. Maybe that's why he shouldn't
38:26
was a guy as well. Then he passes out some creepy
38:30
thing. I don't understand this.
38:32
Right, because he's dogs in the cabin.
38:34
The dog doesn't give a fuck. Some creepy stick thing comes
38:38
out from Andrea's bed while he's like half sedated and then they
38:42
must change the pamphlet or whatever and take her face off
38:45
and then he's like, it's not actually her I'm going crazy.
38:49
But also, your dog's just letting people run amok.
38:52
But why was there like a tree man inside his house?
38:54
I don't understand, you've got the old fucking lady that was
38:58
locked. Why is she locked up in a room
38:59
but also putting journalists like publications under your
39:04
door? This old lady talking with a
39:06
Walker, she can barely walk and you're telling me she's walking
39:09
all the way out his cabin? Fuck.
39:11
Off and didn't she at one point say leave the island or some
39:14
shit? She can't say well, like she
39:15
can't speak. She kept to run.
39:18
And even Kitty was like, you have to get off the island and
39:21
then the phone cut out. Yeah, because that's when the
39:24
tree Dr. climbed a tree. Get it together.
39:28
Steal the fairy. He should have just done that.
39:30
I don't know why he didn't. Do it.
39:32
Oh, sorry. He was like, the dog's going to
39:33
take too long. No, what takes too long is
39:35
driving all the way back to your cabin to get the dog.
39:38
The dog can run. It's fine.
39:39
And then the petrol gets siphoned out of his car, Yes.
39:42
And he's like, damn it, I thought this.
39:44
Was just how are they doing all of this?
39:46
This is a lot of work for minimal effect really.
39:49
Like yes, I don't know. I suppose he was going crazy.
39:53
Yeah. But then he was like, no, it is
39:55
about me. But he didn't seem to care that
39:58
he knew it was Abby. She pretty much confirmed it,
40:01
but he didn't straight up ask her either.
40:03
No. So is he afraid of her calling
40:06
him out and saying you tried to kill me, motherfucker?
40:09
Maybe he kind of wants her to make the delulu.
40:11
Maybe he's trying to see how much she remembers.
40:13
Yeah. I think it's self preservation
40:16
in a way, but what what do you? Want.
40:18
Like what did he want? I don't understand what he
40:21
wanted. See, we get there and where it
40:24
tells us the plot twist, which is really not that twisty when
40:27
you think about it. But what was his goal?
40:29
Because he was pining after his wife.
40:31
He was looking for her all the time.
40:33
Was he looking for her dead body?
40:35
Or was he wanting his wife back? Because it seemed like he wanted
40:38
his wife back. So it still makes no sense.
40:40
I think he wanted his wife back, but as he got more into it,
40:44
realizing that Aubrey was Abby, Yes, he realized that she had a
40:49
mind of her own. And now she's, like, a lesbian.
40:51
Yes. And then he's like, she's never
40:53
going to be the wife that I thought she was, which she was
40:56
pretending to be for a long time.
40:58
So Loki, she contributed to that also, like, you don't know she's
41:01
bisexual or anything at all. The whole marriage, because this
41:05
is only a year later. Yeah.
41:07
And. Even nothing.
41:08
And when Abby admits it and goes, yeah, I'm Abby, she's
41:12
like, yeah. I was wearing contacts yesterday
41:15
and it's just like they're all waiting in the church room to
41:18
roll up. Hear me out.
41:19
They were all in the church. I would have.
41:22
I would be off the island. Oh. 100%.
41:25
I'd be they're all 20. Five screaming, swimming in the
41:28
ocean. Oh, it's like 25 of them are in
41:30
the church. You know where they all are.
41:32
Get your ass off the island. Exactly.
41:35
I would drive that fucking Jeep or whatever into the ocean and
41:38
I'd get fucked. Steal someone's car?
41:40
Who gives a fuck? You can't.
41:42
There's no bridge or anything. But figure out where the ferry
41:45
is. Yeah, You know what I mean?
41:46
Like. Figure that out.
41:47
You should have just been doing little island tours while you
41:50
try to work it out anyway. Really try that hard to get out.
41:55
No. All he did was hope that Kitty
41:56
would somehow rescue him and I'm like, what a weak bitch.
42:00
What a weak bitch. She was already on the island at
42:02
some point. So they go back in time and you
42:05
find out he didn't trust Abby at all and he didn't want to have
42:09
kids so much that he went and got a vasectomy and didn't tell
42:11
her. And then on the flip side, Abby
42:13
wanted a child so much and didn't want to tell him.
42:17
She went out of her way to do IVF with a donor.
42:20
How do you not tell your husband about that?
42:23
The fuck? While stealing money.
42:25
That's just as bad. But then like she's pregnant
42:29
she's getting threats at work from I'm assuming it was the
42:32
people she was writing about. I don't understand how he tried
42:36
to kill her. It makes no sense.
42:38
He's on the phone so he's walking to the site.
42:41
Yes. Back to diva down.
42:42
Back to Diva Down. He's walking to the site.
42:45
He's laying on the road, almost hit by a car.
42:49
In the red. Coat in the red coat telling her
42:52
not to get out of the car. You're not going to hear him
42:54
speaking. Exactly.
42:56
He must have been really like, I don't.
42:58
I know that's because performance of a lifetime.
43:00
Performance of a lifetime because how are you whispering
43:02
on the phone? Because that would be more SUS.
43:04
But he's literally like, don't get out of the car, I'm worried
43:07
about you. You're out of the car.
43:09
Do you not hear him? Maybe she wasn't quite out of
43:12
the car yet. Maybe.
43:13
She was further like far away from the lady on the road like
43:18
and she was about to hop out of the car, yes.
43:21
And then he would have like disconnected it and then she
43:23
would have come over. There, but also he's sitting
43:24
there going. She's not home on time, why does
43:28
it matter? Are you going to kill her in
43:30
your house? Is was that the original plan?
43:32
No, Surely this had to be the plan.
43:36
It would be. Easy to just poison her food,
43:38
but he wanted to throw her off the Cliff, yes, so he needed her
43:41
to be at that location. Yes, in a way, but also he
43:44
walked there, but then close. But then you're he's on the
43:49
phone, right? And he's like, I've got to go
43:51
get there and he's running to the site.
43:53
He was already there. Yeah, so who's running back from
43:56
the side? Oh my God.
44:00
What a diva, What a diva. Anyway, such a perform.
44:04
He pulled on a performance and this is and I still felt bad for
44:08
him in the end. But you know, what pisses me off
44:10
is that he, instead of accusing her and being like, you've
44:14
cheated on me because I got a vasectomy and now you're
44:17
pregnant. You know what I mean?
44:18
Like he saw the pregnancy test. Yeah, it could have been a
44:21
friend coming over and pissing on the stick.
44:24
Like you don't literally know that it was definitely her.
44:27
Well, they lived out in the middle of nowhere and she was
44:30
sneaking out to see her friends also.
44:32
But he gave her no chance. No, you're going to.
44:34
Just commit to this plan. And.
44:37
Barely any information and then turns out she was doing the IVF
44:42
and had a sperm donor so she wasn't physically cheating,
44:45
which is the thing that he was supposed to be mad about.
44:48
Yeah, so I. Would be mad as fuck if my
44:50
partner chose a sperm donor without me.
44:52
Are you kidding? Well, I think she was leaving
44:54
him too. So she was leaving him pregnant.
44:57
But still wait till you leave girl you can get IVF the next
45:01
like you might not even take. Why did you have to start that
45:05
before leaving his ass? It's just.
45:08
Mind boggling, makes no sense. Anyway, they're giving him a
45:10
choice. He's revealed that he was
45:12
jealous because she was pregnant.
45:14
And they're like, you can either ride to best seller or they're
45:18
like, we plotted a grave out by yourself so you can be alone for
45:22
the rest of your life as well. I don't understand that either.
45:26
Yeah. So he's just supposed to live on
45:27
the island? For free.
45:29
For free. So you're gonna build
45:31
relationships with the people on there, right?
45:33
So at some point you'll build friendships.
45:35
So that's why I was like, okay, he ends up doing it anyway.
45:39
Yeah. And then we flash forward to a
45:42
year later where he's talking to Cora, he's having a little bit
45:45
of banter, He's happily on his way.
45:47
He still fucking sucks, but for a year straight he's like, built
45:52
this relationship also, yeah. Are they just going to keep
45:55
doing it? Yeah, because they sedate him
45:58
and then bury him alive. So do they just get a new or
46:02
That's too much fucking work. I.
46:03
Know, I think they each take turns on picking who they want
46:07
to bring over. Yeah.
46:09
And torture, I suppose. Yeah.
46:10
And it was her turn. Maybe in a way.
46:13
I don't know. It seemed.
46:14
About a lot of work. It seemed like a lot of work.
46:16
And I really do feel like even though she was like, oh, Charlie
46:19
helped the island, he liked being out there.
46:21
I feel like he was. Number one, he definitely wasn't
46:25
suicidal. They did the exact same thing to
46:28
him to get him off the island because he was a man too.
46:31
Why don't you just do rise retreats out there?
46:33
It still makes me fucking. I know that I don't understand
46:36
the motive. They just hate men, which is
46:39
fine. But you're doing it on such a
46:41
small scale, one man at a time. Also, why are you so bored?
46:46
That you said bringing people to your island to murder, I
46:49
understand the car's not on the island, so they could probably
46:51
hide it a bit better because then you'd have to get their
46:54
car. But they gave them access to a
46:56
car. What I don't understand is the
46:57
revenge would have been better if Abby just disappeared forever
47:01
and then went off with her new lesbian partner and baby.
47:04
Why would you bring a person you're afraid, supposedly afraid
47:07
of to where you are with your partner and the baby?
47:11
Same. Chances are he's going to try
47:13
and kill one of them. Also, you're safe on an island
47:16
and now for a year straight, because it's been a year, you
47:19
have to look at your murderer and all day.
47:23
Be worried that he might get paranoid and killed somebody
47:26
because he's jealous of the wife.
47:28
He might hate the child because the child represents why they
47:32
broke up. Yeah.
47:33
Why would you run that risk? It makes no sense.
47:37
Do you think she missed him and wanted to see him I.
47:39
Think she still loved him? I reckon they both fucking
47:42
sucked. I don't get, I feel like there's
47:44
a bit of where they've convinced her to do this.
47:47
I don't know, hey, because. She says she loves them still.
47:49
But I also feel like it was a lot longer game than maybe it
47:54
was for, like, the book. Because it feels like, how do
47:58
you get into a marriage so quickly with such a rancid man
48:03
that you do not like, you've never loved, and you're telling
48:06
him you want to die, and then you're getting excited to leave.
48:11
Maybe she wasn't originally meant to die, but eventually
48:14
they were going to get there. Yeah.
48:16
And maybe I'm giving too much prop.
48:17
Probably, but why would you go through all that IVF to be so
48:21
rushed to live on a remote island?
48:24
Because I wouldn't want to give birth there.
48:26
Well, they take her back to the mainland.
48:28
So that's the ferry that works. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
48:32
It's just annoying. It's like if you're happy with
48:33
your new life, the fuck you doing all this for?
48:37
He'll just drink himself into oblivion.
48:39
Why? And let him ruin your violence.
48:40
Exactly, and he threatens to expose it.
48:43
So you just created more risk for no reason.
48:45
Yeah. The reward is not outweighing
48:48
the risk. And he wrote a secret message in
48:50
his book anyway. Yeah, and that's why they
48:52
decided to kill him off. So it wasn't even worth all of
48:54
that. They got one book out of him
48:56
that wasn't even his. The draft was Charles.
48:59
Well, it's like, at least make him pump out a couple of books
49:01
first. So you're like set for a couple
49:04
of years now you've got to do it again.
49:06
And I feel like residuals aren't going to be that much money
49:08
unless it's like a Harry Potter, if you will, like a like a big,
49:12
big, big, big, big book. And it didn't sound like he was
49:14
doing. Big big, big, big, big big no.
49:17
No one was showing up in this book but.
49:18
Even Kitty was just like, we'll just put another author on the
49:20
island. If you.
49:21
Get off the ride if. It's a man.
49:23
I'm going to lose it if they do a follow up and it's another
49:26
man. Oh my God, it just seems like a
49:29
waste of fucking time. Also, why did paedophilia have
49:31
to come into it? It always, it always has to come
49:34
into. It Why does that have to rear
49:35
its ugly head? Also, why would you go back to
49:38
an island where you exactly? With the trauma, memories of you
49:42
being attempted like sexually abused.
49:47
No words, no. Words.
49:50
No thoughts. The most dragging book I've ever
49:52
read, actually, in a long time. See, I like things that are just
49:57
stupid like this because there's no logic.
50:00
They did all this performing plot just to put him in the
50:03
ground. Yeah.
50:04
That's dumb. Look, I'm psychologically
50:07
untrilled at this point. Untrilled.
50:09
Someone said like on the cover there's a quote that this is the
50:12
best book by this author. Oh, another one.
50:17
Pick another one. Maybe it's just not for me.
50:20
I don't like being in the he's not really a a victim.
50:24
I don't wanna be in the victim's head.
50:26
I don't wanna be in there. I wanna be in her head while
50:29
she's traumatising him. True 'cause it can't just be it
50:33
because haven't we all plotted to kill our partner at some
50:36
point? Yes, that's normal.
50:38
OK, just a casual diva down. To diva get out of the car.
50:42
Casual performance once in a while.
50:44
But also this man couldn't even wipe his own ass on his own and
50:48
he thought about laying in the middle of the road in a.
50:51
Boat. Do you reckon he was in pumps to
50:54
really sell it? How does a grown man look like a
50:57
woman on the street, you know? That man's big backed.
51:03
You know what though? I feel like he's just like a
51:05
sort of like a, a more like the jacket weak kind of guy.
51:09
I. Was going to say the jacket's so
51:10
awkwardly tight on his back that you can tell, but he's in like
51:14
the Bratz stole pink. The tweevals.
51:17
For me, he was giving sort of nerdy.
51:20
He wasn't a manly man. But why pick him?
51:23
You didn't like him at any point, Why pick him?
51:25
Just break up with him, leave your IVF dry.
51:29
You know what if the walkie talkies were like Barbie
51:31
coloured? Makes so much sense.
51:34
Honestly, though, it was almost trying to give yellow jackets.
51:37
It didn't get there. I just didn't like it like.
51:40
Help me out babe. Also, why are you into church
51:42
when religion was never mentioned properly?
51:44
But then there's the priest. What religion is this?
51:47
Also, why are these children so prominent?
51:51
They're in the church windows. Yeah, that's ick.
51:55
Sorry. Like maybe you wouldn't maybe
51:57
memorialize their child. Maybe.
51:59
Memorialize them like in a garden or something.
52:02
Oh, that. 'D be cute, get like a church
52:04
garden. Like a church garden, a little
52:06
seat. Who am I to tell people to
52:10
grieve? No tell them, tell them we don't
52:13
want no stained glass haunted children.
52:15
So tell me, why is a group of 25 women so religious but they're
52:20
all eating pussy? I've never heard of it.
52:23
I don't think organized religion but follows the pussy gospel if
52:27
you. Will, I don't think they're
52:28
following the other one. I don't think they're not
52:32
Christian then. No, we don't like orgasms in the
52:35
Catholic faith either. So like, what is this female
52:38
orgasm? Sorry, female orgasms?
52:41
Like what is this? It's their own island, they
52:45
probably have their own language at this point.
52:48
They probably run over. They probably run through the
52:52
forest naked, who knows? No, you know what they have
52:55
those women that go on retreats where they scream into the void
52:58
because they hate men. We should go.
53:00
We should go. Wait, how do we?
53:02
Pick a ticket, I do it at home. It's like, how do we book our
53:05
ticket to Amberley or wherever the Anthony Albanese, the
53:08
island? I don't know if we would make it
53:10
off the island. Oh, why?
53:12
I don't know. I feel like I get to a point
53:14
where I'd be like, either you're being picked me or I'm being
53:18
picked me. Like Oh no, I feel like they
53:20
would force me into a pick me. Oh, what do you mean?
53:23
Oh, so you've got Stockholms? I don't know, you become
53:26
integrated or we're both typing monkeys trying to create a best.
53:29
I feel like I would be like you so weird and I'm not weird we.
53:32
Feel like we're not ready for this.
53:34
I don't know how to write or read.
53:36
You know what? We only know how to release
53:38
podcasts. Maybe we could do a man hating
53:41
podcast and that could bring in the revenue.
53:43
True, true. We're.
53:45
Coming straight from we've got a guest and just what?
53:53
It's a female again and. It's only one of the 25 people
53:57
that are being. On this episode already, you
53:59
know what we'd be like, Oh my God, please.
54:02
We've actually got a male and it's Grady.
54:04
Sorry, he's late, he's drinking. It's 9:00 AM.
54:07
He's also. Weird to dig him out.
54:10
Oh. So fuck, we buried him
54:12
yesterday, we better dig him out for this episode.
54:15
Sorry, forgot. We'll enter that out.
54:20
We'll enter that out. We'll open the confession.
54:26
They're standing in the corner, like what are you guys saying?
54:30
Like how, how they honestly, they won't be here anymore.
54:33
They're like bitches not alive. She's.
54:35
Making me cut my own lamb. Honestly, they did not go to the
54:40
Kris Jenner School of Business because what is this?
54:44
You're supposed to get makeup branding in from Teamu and smack
54:46
a label on it? Yeah, and then fucking mass
54:49
produce it. Like, what are you guys doing?
54:51
Literally anything. Posting.
54:52
One book a year Good. Luck.
54:56
I'm like, you've got a whole publish.
54:58
Exactly. Publish connections.
54:59
Also, why did they make the fucking island library have only
55:03
his books on the shelves? That would boost the man's ego
55:06
so much. He's already egocentric.
55:09
Oh my God, what the? Fuck, if anything he would do
55:12
that out of pleasure but also. Why are you taking out your
55:15
income, bitch? Kidding makes no sense.
55:18
None of it makes. Sense you can't funnel all your
55:20
authors through, someone will pick it up.
55:23
Exactly. Here, just have another male
55:25
author. All of yours are dying
55:27
conveniently. You know what?
55:28
He wasn't shooketh enough about the second one.
55:32
That information, I mean, they just absorbed it and never
55:34
brought it up again. Yeah.
55:36
And well, he tried to leave the island on a boat and just didn't
55:39
make it off. That he was washed ashore
55:41
essentially like. No brain cells up he.
55:43
Wasn't trying to get off enough. He was too busy thinking about
55:47
his wife all the time. And he I feel like he just did
55:50
the male thing where they procrastinate till the last
55:52
second and he goes I want to get off now and then he's like
55:54
running around in the night. It's like proof.
55:56
What? Plan it out you stupid fuck.
56:00
Like if you had a feeling, wouldn't you just pretend like
56:04
you didn't know what was happening?
56:05
Exactly. But also you've got at least
56:07
like you've maybe got 25 women there, right?
56:10
Yeah, Think a bit longer game. Make friends with one of them,
56:14
idiot. Well, you're I feel like got the
56:17
old lady. Yeah, but work on the priest
56:19
lady, who obviously might like you back.
56:22
You can turn her, turn her against the tribe, you stupid
56:26
fuck. It might not be instant like
56:28
exactly when you wanna leave. He's never watched Survivor and
56:31
that's clear. It's very clear but like Dick
56:33
her down, Dick someone down good for once and they'll actually
56:36
start doing you favours. Honestly, they were digmatiser.
56:41
They were all. Burnt by men at some point.
56:43
I don't think they can be dignitised.
56:45
Really, I don't know. They've been on that island for
56:48
a minute. There's got to be someone.
56:50
Straight scissoring. There's got to be someone
56:53
straight on the island. I don't think there is.
56:56
Oh, OK, see, I didn't think that.
56:57
I thought at least if there's like.
56:58
There was at least four lesbians.
57:01
Yeah, but out of 20? Five.
57:02
That's not bad. That's like that's confirmed.
57:04
4/2 were 80 year old ladies. OK.
57:08
So that takes out another 2. OK.
57:10
Then we've got a priest. She's probably not fucking
57:12
anyone. Sheriff's also old and she has a
57:16
sister, so she's not fucking a sister.
57:18
The sheriff? Sandy.
57:19
Sandy. Yeah, and then she has a sister.
57:21
But isn't Cora and Sandy old? So that's who you're taking out?
57:24
Yes. Who?
57:24
Wait, who are the four lesbians? The Abby Travers, Alex, the one
57:29
that was cutting the lamb and the owner of the pub.
57:32
They were together, too. Oh, OK, so you've got six people
57:36
out. Yes.
57:37
You've got 25 people, so you've got 19 potential straight
57:40
people. Yes.
57:41
Come on, that's easy work. I feel like you've got.
57:45
All day. I was like, they've been there
57:46
for years. You never know, isn't.
57:48
Yeah, but not everyone can turn gay.
57:51
You don't know. We don't know a choice.
57:53
We don't know they'll be a whole cult.
57:55
Yeah, but you've got to awaken some of their heterosexuality.
57:58
You know, but they're in a. Whole cult.
57:59
He just didn't strategize it very well and he just got
58:03
spooked, ooked, and I only talked to the dog and then he's
58:05
like, I got to get out of here. It's like cool idiot.
58:07
I also feel like the dog probably hated him at this
58:09
point. Not Cosmo was it?
58:11
Cosmo is it? Combine or something.
58:14
Columbo Columbo Columbo. I don't think that dog gave a
58:18
fuck. Wasn't it a Labrador?
58:21
Yeah, like a Labrador retriever. He wasn't warning him to anyone
58:24
in his face. Paul Columbo, I think he's fine.
58:29
Sandy was talking about how excited she was to get a black
58:32
Labrador, and then conveniently she got 1.
58:35
So. There's just easier ways for all
58:37
around, and they do. Things Also the birds not on the
58:40
island. What was that about?
58:42
There was so many things and nothing I.
58:44
Know so many things to throw us off I.
58:47
Don't think they were throwing me off, I think there was just
58:49
fucking stupid. The biggest thing that threw me
58:52
off is the concept of if he did or did not wear pumps on the
58:56
road wig. He was wearing bright red
59:00
lipstick listening to Taylor Swift on that road.
59:03
And you can't tell me otherwise. Oh, look what you made me do.
59:06
Yeah. It's just blasting just like
59:12
turn it off real quick from his phone, like he's checking her
59:15
location on Life 360. He's like, no, he didn't get
59:18
don't get out of the car. Like also wouldn't you hear your
59:21
car in the back? Like screw mm hmm must leave no
59:25
thoughts. No thoughts from anyone.
59:26
Was all of this if they turn this into a movie?
59:29
Oh, only the bad ones get made into movies.
59:33
What should we rate this out of? Oh.
59:35
My God, diva down. Yes, deeper down over how many
59:44
deeper downs? One deeper down over.
59:49
OK, I. Fucking hate it today.
59:51
I know. I love how you hate stuff.
59:54
You know what? You're gonna be so mad.
59:56
You loved it, I know you did. I know, I know.
59:59
We never agree, we never I still spiraling from the fact that you
1:00:05
like the first. Really.
1:00:08
Yeah, yeah. Gang out a four.
1:00:09
That's record-breaking. Yeah, I gave this a three.
1:00:12
Yeah, I. Didn't like it?
1:00:14
I didn't like it. I liked the general idea, but he
1:00:18
was just a whiny loser and I didn't want him to be.
1:00:21
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was so whiny.
1:00:24
He was. A whiny loser, he was a.
1:00:28
That's hot. Oh, you killed him?
1:00:32
That's hot. Oh, so I feel like he could have
1:00:34
been more elaborate. Yeah, I wanna know what meds he
1:00:38
was on. Like honestly.
1:00:39
And I feel like there was too many plot holes for him trying
1:00:43
to murder. Her I think this book was rage
1:00:45
pain. I was raged.
1:00:48
I was enraged. Rage space.
1:00:51
Like I don't think it's real. Alice.
1:00:53
Alice, please. Please.
1:00:55
You know what though, there's nothing wrong with her writing.
1:00:57
Like she didn't write. I did think she was trying to
1:01:00
make it very quotable and annoying way.
1:01:02
I'm so excited to jump on Goodreads and read what other
1:01:05
people said about it because I never read because I don't want
1:01:09
to get influenced by other people's opinions before I give
1:01:12
a rating. That's fair.
1:01:13
That's why because I've read it so late.
1:01:15
I just kept waking up and thinking about how annoyed I
1:01:20
woke up like hourly. And I was like thinking I'm
1:01:22
like. But yeah, I.
1:01:24
Love it. So that's it.
1:01:25
Hey, thanks for joining us on Lose the Plot with Carla and
1:01:29
Emily. Don't forget to rate US five
1:01:31
stars and subscribe if you enjoyed slide into our DMS on
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