Latest / Comedy Central Stand-Up / Denny Horror- Noches de comedy Gijon

Transcript

Denny Horror- Noches de comedy Gijon · Comedy Central Stand-Up

• 0:02
  Comedy Central Podcastja eh, well, the Islamic State. Not that I moved
• 0:25
  you and wanted to start relaxing the atmosphere. What I mean. I mean,
• 0:30
  I' m not a commercial comedian. Okay, I mean, I
• 0:32
  like to think that my comedy is like when you see you go down the
• 0:35
  street, you see two dogs fucking, you know everyone looks, as well
• 0:39
  as with apprehension as with disgust. But there' s always someone who stands
• 0:41
  and does, because it' s in my audience. So if you belong
• 0:55
  to that pick- up late, you' re gonna have a good time
• 0:59
  if it' s not gonna be a very long few minutes. No,
• 1:02
  but no, no, I don' t care not to be a San
• 1:03
  comedian is famous or known, because I don' t believe in the majorities,
• 1:07
  that is, I don' t believe in democracy, that is.
• 1:08
  In fact, Spain has been without President for months and everything remained the same.
• 1:15
  You know, I think democracy in Spain is like those living guy cars.
• 1:19
  You know that you' re going like the flyer, you think you
• 1:22
  ' re driving, you know, but you know you' re going just
• 1:29
  like it' s really important and you' re participating in ha ha and
• 1:37
  it' s among the banks selling chips. Of course, if you'
• 1:38
  re going to vote ass, of course I don' t know. I
• 1:41
  would like to put an end to the farce of democracies. I think I
• 1:44
  ' d close. Congress, I' d shut it down, you know,
• 1:46
  I mean, I' d throw it down. Congress is over,
• 1:48
  I' d leave the Senate not for real. I think it' s
• 1:52
  super important that the Senate doesn' t, because I live next door.
• 1:57
  It' s not true and for a cafeteria where all senators go, you
• 2:00
  know and there' s a wonderful atmosphere because they' re people know they
• 2:02
  ' re always relaxed on good terms. It' s because they don'
• 2:05
  t scratch them all day. They' re super- boen- humored always
• 2:07
  don' t. And the other day a senator came in, a guy
• 2:08
  about sixty and asked for a colacao and friends laughed a little and the guy,
• 2:14
  so very jocoso, said yes, I just have very childish tastes and
• 2:15
  added good, except for women. That clarification was necessary. I mean,
• 2:27
  what kind of person you think is necessary. That' s how you say
• 2:30
  you like kids, yeah, but not to fuck me. I like them
• 2:40
  as friends two. That' s why I think it' s very important
• 2:45
  that we keep the Senate, because we have to keep these people under control.
• 2:46
  No. I don' t think so. I don' t think
• 2:50
  so. I don' t believe in democracy, because recently I was in
• 2:53
  a town outside Madrid called the Corcón. I don' t know if you
• 2:57
  know him or I had to go there and act. No and the comics,
• 2:59
  when we' re going to give a site you what you do is
• 3:00
  you Google information about that site to get there and make a joke about that
• 3:04
  site, that people on that site think you give a shit about their fucking
• 3:06
  site We call it empathy. The thing is, they' re looking for
• 3:12
  it doesn' t have on the cork. Well, he found wonderful news.
• 3:14
  The news was the mayor of Alcorcón will dedicate a roundabout to the victims
• 3:20
  of the Holocaust in earnest, six million dead, a roundabout in Alcorcón.
• 3:29
  I mean. I like to imagine. I like to imagine the mayor of
• 3:32
  Alcorcón on a sleepless night watching the history channel. It' s a documentary
• 3:38
  about the Holocaust It' s the self that' s not very interested And
• 3:40
  as they say at the time, Hostia is not a movie and she'
• 3:52
  s going around all night. It' s spinning. So in plan it
• 3:53
  is very affected to say expensive how I could, from the mayor of the
• 3:58
  corcon, with the OAS so that this tragedy never be repeated, what construction
• 4:02
  would be appropriate for a catastrophe of this magnitude. And he' s all
• 4:11
  night thinking about giving him back and he comes in the morning and he gets
• 4:13
  up to his wife and it starts to be breakfast and his kids start and
• 4:15
  a little boy starts playing with his trifci that starts puerta around, like the
• 4:17
  tricycle and uncle sardes pro you want to get out of the way. Around
• 4:18
  me I' m not a bloody red and I like to imagine I also
• 4:29
  like to imagine. I also make a Jewish elder named Abraham, who has
• 4:32
  been in the camps of OSVI hopes to survive, has lost me, his
• 4:35
  parents, his little brothers, his first girlfriend, but has survived that hell.
• 4:40
  He has managed to remake his life in another country and dedicates the last
• 4:43
  years of life to travel the world and a parable of destiny takes him to
• 4:48
  the cork and finds the roundabout and a tear that is on his cheek and
• 4:54
  says in the end it was worth it. No. No. No.
• 5:03
  No. I think. I don' t believe in democracy, basically because
• 5:06
  I' m Galician and we haven' t done very well with that.
• 5:09
  You know, when you guys juggled. We looked at it and said still
• 5:14
  thrown away another twenty years, I mean, that' s our level.
• 5:18
  That' s not where we' re strong. There' s no politician
• 5:21
  Aña. There' s a politician there named José Luis Baltar. I don
• 5:24
  ' t know if it sounds to you he was the president of Ourense'
• 5:27
  s deputy. The edifice of Ourense was like the totem of plugging. They
• 5:30
  didn' t bring out family members, brother- in- laws, militant
• 5:33
  cousins. You know, so you know an idea. Thirty- three porters
• 5:36
  were hired, and they have two doors. Okay is him, because this
• 5:43
  man, this man, had a political adversary in the position that he was
• 5:47
  all day talking about his chanchullos of plugging. No and Joseis Valtar you a
• 5:51
  wonderful answer and some rally answered him. He told her. This man talks
• 5:57
  a lot about me. He seems to have an obsession with me. If
• 6:00
  I were the woman, I' d understand, but since I' m
• 6:02
  a man, I must be a faggot. Not that' s a wonderful
• 6:06
  answer. I mean, maybe it' s just that they kept winning the
• 6:09
  selection. It' s like the people of urense saw this fight the dialectic
• 6:12
  and said there he caught him. But no one, let no one stay
• 6:23
  in a bad body. This man is no longer in office, he is
• 6:25
  no longer in the post of president of the council. Actually, there'
• 6:27
  s your son now. And the son recently had quite a scandal because a
• 6:31
  woman accused him of having offered him a position in the council. She has
• 6:36
  changed sex and the woman provided recordings with the President. No, but of
• 6:43
  course, the guy' s still there. You know nothing happened. They
• 6:45
  left him there at the post. It' s not like Orense' s
• 6:46
  village. He saw the accusations, saw the evidence and said at least he
• 6:50
  ' s not a fag. It' s a sick criterion, but at
• 6:56
  least it' s a criterion. That' s what you can say.
• 6:59
  No. I don' t think, not that in democracy, in fact
• 7:00
  I won' t even vote. It' s very badly seen I don
• 7:02
  ' t vote I mean I don' t vote when you address my only
• 7:04
  wish I say to see Rachón, he takes a hell and sometimes life gives
• 7:09
  you those gifts. No, but I' ll take care of it when
• 7:18
  it was you missed me. I think we' re all serious now,
• 7:20
  we' re a little bit the same. You don' t read no
• 7:23
  on Twitter, on Facebook, and a rajoy host has been hit by a
• 7:25
  rahoit host and you laugh no, but watch out later we see the images.
• 7:28
  If I think we all did the same thing, it' s the
• 7:30
  images. You know, you' ve got the body left, you'
• 7:31
  ve got the chungo body not left. You stay dead, man, I
• 7:34
  had time to give you two. No, what the fuck happened here,
• 7:41
  what a fucking youth we have that even psychopaths don' t come out lazy.
• 7:47
  It is clear to me now that democracy is not an expensive function.
• 7:50
  I mean, that doesn' t work. It' s obvious. No.
• 7:53
  I think the best test we have on Facebook, that is, Facebook
• 7:55
  is the best invention of humanity. I love Facebook, no, I mean
• 7:58
  young people that I haven' t met another world without Facebook, you have
• 8:01
  to freak out when you tell them that before to know that someone you dislike
• 8:05
  you you have to spend time with him. Now you don' t just
• 8:09
  have to open the moro says oh me, they' re assholes, but
• 8:15
  the cool thing about Facebook, the wey of Facebook is that you can delete
• 8:16
  them. And that frees you from a sense of power. You get rid
• 8:22
  of it, I mean, I don' t eliminate you, that'
• 8:24
  s how it works. First, you start by eliminating assholes who put sexist
• 8:26
  or racist things, not those. Out or those assholes. Then, if
• 8:28
  you press him all day talking about politics, you know about another political party
• 8:31
  and such were not later the assholes are all already with football outside the flus.
• 8:35
  Then the flus listen to shitty music. That out there, too,
• 8:39
  then there' s the guys in every morning and they put an optimistic phrase.
• 8:41
  You take them out again and you take them out again because they'
• 8:45
  re doubly assholes. And in the end, in the end, you stay
• 8:56
  with a select group of people who think like you, who have your sensitivity,
• 9:00
  who are exactly the same as you, you have your own tastes and
• 9:03
  you can sit down and go with their thoughts and you realize they' re
• 9:07
  fucking assholes, too. And then you get an instagram that no longer fails,
• 9:09
  because there is already. You know they' re all assholes in advance.
• 9:11
  You know that' s the Facebook cycle. But while one of the
• 9:16
  Facebook cycle is wonderful, because it is very relaxing. I think that if
• 9:18
  Hitler had Facebook, he would have relaxed a lot. So you know,
• 9:22
  imagine it as a Jew or eliminate Jew or jutuous, limina arévalo I like.
• 9:26
  You know it' s very p- to- top If Hiller had
• 9:37
  Facebook maybe, now I opened a less roundabout in cork. No. I
• 9:43
  don' t think, I don' t think democracy will ever work.
• 9:43
  I think the only person who could fix Spain, the only person who could
• 9:46
  fix the situation in Spain is Juan Carlos Monedero. Stay with me fine but
• 9:54
  little confidence. But this makes a good sense. I don' t know
• 9:56
  if you know. A while ago Juan Carlos Monedero became a colleague of Carmen
• 10:01
  Lomana. You know what it is that Carmelomana, the woman is sub megapija,
• 10:05
  not as if they have supercolleagues and had spread the rumor in Madrid that
• 10:09
  they had had a mess, not you that they had fucked. I think
• 10:11
  it' s a lie. I think it' s impossible. No,
• 10:15
  but I wish with all my soul that it is true, that is,
• 10:18
  I pray every night because it is true, because they have fucked you,
• 10:20
  I swear, because they represent in both Spains. Then Spain knows face to
• 10:22
  face. On the one hand, you have the Marxist university intellectual in Hellinist,
• 10:28
  not then you have the Catholic and Millionaire right- wing Mrs Sabes.
• 10:31
  It' s not the two of them. Don' t watch them join
• 10:33
  you. You know, I wish they' d fucked and if they didn
• 10:37
  ' t fuck, we should force them to fuck you and have a son
• 10:50
  and the son make him emperor ja and take it another way from the Royal
• 10:56
  Palace, present it as the Leogo king like this Spanish eye, has all
• 11:00
  taken the first king half fat half red. Now everybody' s gonna be
• 11:01
  chojo. I' d made it possible I don' t know. This
• 11:16
  has been a bit. What I think. I' ve started dici te.
• 11:20
  I started by saying I didn' t want to be a famous comedian
• 11:22
  or popular. But I have to say that this is a bit of a
• 11:24
  lie, because I, when I started this, I mean, all the
• 11:26
  comics, we started because you see someone who inspires you. Not the comics
• 11:28
  that inspired me. The first ones who made me dedicate a show were the
• 11:31
  most commercial thing in their time, which were the hordes of the terio,
• 11:35
  you remember the clowns of the TV and then, tonight, as you have,
• 11:37
  was very nice public. I' d like to say goodbye with a
• 11:41
  poem I' ve written for you. It' s a little bit,
• 11:45
  a little silly, not a little nobody, but I' d like you
• 11:48
  to hear it in good. At one point I' m going to ask
• 11:52
  you to collaborate You know, I don' t know if you remember when
• 11:54
  they said how you are, that you have to say very well which Democrats
• 12:01
  already are. I was about five years old when I saw you on TV,
• 12:07
  dear clown friends, I mean, how are you? At five o
• 12:11
  ' clock in the afternoon, before my homework, I sat in the living
• 12:16
  room hearing how you are. That summer, the circus came all the way
• 12:20
  to my town I had to see you. I couldn' t let him
• 12:24
  get away you were kind and affectionate, I' ll never forget my ricky
• 12:28
  Gaby fofito miliquito, you were a bit of a pilipis, you rape me
• 12:37
  you are or alcohola ball coves. I was about five years old when I
• 12:50
  saw you on TV, dear clown friends, say how are you? Wow,
• 12:56
  I' m calling what pain are we going now our Yasa Tala Tala?
• 13:03
  My childhood Bagalete, how much blood, what a mother, what a
• 13:09
  time we put in with tostosis, put in is an abuse, I pregnant
• 13:13
  screams of death. Hello, hello, well, how are you? Thank
• 13:18
  you so much for getting a visa with you.