Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -Cultivating Devotion Through Reflection and Gratitude 2.9.26

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -Cultivating Devotion Through Reflection and Gratitude 2.9.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:00
  This these last two chapters, one was telling us about what it
• 0:05
  means to be a Hasid. Hasid is a very strong sounding
• 0:10
  word. It means you know a very pious
• 0:11
  person, but it really means you're being very dedicated in
• 0:15
  any area about the cell, about the Hashem appreciation of
• 0:19
  Hashem, doing it throughout the full way, being very driven or
• 0:22
  to be learned, praying for a long time, learning for a long
• 0:25
  time, being very well interested.
• 0:27
  All these areas are examples of being a conceit.
• 0:31
  But he then told those are the only way to get to this properly
• 0:34
  is through understanding the balance, balance of knowing when
• 0:38
  to or not to how much to do so what's pulling you All these
• 0:41
  different balances a person's figure out and then they call it
• 0:44
  the right outcome. Other words, balance meant, for
• 0:47
  example, if you can do something that's officially great, but
• 0:49
  it's going to have harmful ramifications, you don't do it.
• 0:52
  If you're going to give someone rebuke, but it's going to that
• 0:54
  backfire, you don't do it. You know, do a big, very
• 0:58
  strange, very heavy stringency that's going to be in public and
• 1:02
  other people can be turned off. You don't do it.
• 1:03
  These are the balance areas. Now I have to go back to figure
• 1:06
  out what's going to be the motivation in the 1st place to
• 1:09
  make a person. I can see in the 1st place
• 1:11
  what's going to drive me to make me dedicated to perform and it's
• 1:16
  sought and be strong in these areas all together.
• 1:20
  So what drives you? He says let's see inside page
• 1:24
  430 in it MI Mashio I'll on bear like not a Hasidut, but very
• 1:29
  helpful to making you a dedicated person, an extremely
• 1:33
  pious person who godalise that clute video of it ponenut.
• 1:39
  You have to analyze a lot. You have to stare a lot and
• 1:43
  analyze a lot live those two words.
• 1:45
  You have to look at things a lot and be very analytical in what
• 1:48
  area. What does that mean?
• 1:53
  When a person applies a lot of the analysis that goes no.
• 2:03
  Back to analyzing. Exactly right.
• 2:06
  This is not analyzing Hashem actually when a person applies a
• 2:11
  lot of analysis a goldo Romuto on the greatness of Hashem
• 2:18
  perfection and therefore by seeing God's great perfection
• 2:25
  and this by the way, is the only way a person could look at
• 2:27
  themselves in a small light is because of looking God in a big
• 2:30
  light. They're all about her.
• 2:32
  I hear heck, how building Mishu are shebang du a total bench
• 2:37
  volteno by the great distance right, Great disparity between
• 2:42
  Hashem's greatness and therefore my me being small.
• 2:47
  You could Elmo that perspective is going to cause for you.
• 2:50
  She Malay get AAU Adam Elfana. Yeah.
• 2:53
  Then we're going to have a great level of fear and awe and
• 2:57
  trepidation even from Hashem. So what's going to pull me to
• 3:01
  serve Hashem in the right way? Am I fully appreciate who God
• 3:05
  is? How am I going to fully
• 3:07
  appreciate who God is? I know about God.
• 3:09
  I have them when I have faith. I I all that's clear.
• 3:12
  No, no, no. Stop and look and be an absolute
• 3:17
  awe of God's wonder, or there would be analysis of what He
• 3:21
  does in the world, the miracles, what He does for me personally,
• 3:24
  the great miracles of the world. You look at the sea, you look at
• 3:27
  the land, you look at the air, you look at World News, you look
• 3:30
  at exactly the animals, the birds, anything you stop for in
• 3:34
  2 seconds and you, you and analyze it.
• 3:37
  You can be there or be born in all of Casa Davi Manu.
• 3:41
  And then you apply not only the appreciation of God's wonder how
• 3:47
  much He does for me, the Gordo avatoid broccoli sale, how much
• 3:53
  does he love our people, the Kevati Shahim?
• 3:58
  And how close to Hashem are those who are righteous?
• 4:02
  How close are they to Hashem? There's so many other ways to
• 4:08
  analyze Vada next page It definitely have a burning love
• 4:16
  of Hashem. You're going to want and choose
• 4:22
  to connect the guard mamash when you see that God is a father to
• 4:30
  us. He loves us like a father does
• 4:35
  to a son or elbow that you can have that pole on the desire to
• 4:43
  serve him like a son does a father.
• 4:45
  Now we'll see the next step in a second and this is very
• 4:49
  significant next step. But for now, this step is stop
• 4:53
  should be stop and think for a second about how much Hashem,
• 4:59
  how wondrous God is and how much it does for us.
• 5:02
  It's overwhelming if you really if you really apply the right
• 5:06
  frame of mind, it's completely overwhelming to think about any
• 5:10
  sort of miracle. I had a conversation with my
• 5:13
  Karutai yesterday. I said just give me something
• 5:16
  came to my mind just now. I said, now it's been 14 years
• 5:20
  or 15 years so far since I've been in this yeshiva, all by the
• 5:23
  grace of Hashem. The whole story is by the
• 5:25
  miracle of Hashem. It was a miracle that I got
• 5:27
  there. How many miracles you are that
• 5:29
  you found your wife, that you have your children, that they
• 5:32
  got married, that they have their own children?
• 5:34
  How many miracles are there in that?
• 5:36
  That we have life. You know, there was this just
• 5:39
  two stories of recent sadly, heart attacks in the
• 5:42
  communities, 2 stories of relatively young people, both
• 5:46
  very fit people. One is still in the hospital.
• 5:49
  Sorry, sadly, the other one came out a walking miracle,
• 5:53
  absolutely walking miracle. One of the craziest miracles of
• 5:56
  modern day, right? And he lives right here and he's
• 5:59
  close to him and a story just shows you and now there's the
• 6:03
  contrast and I understand the other part is very sad.
• 6:05
  It was a both part of it, a boldly stories overall show you
• 6:09
  the kind of miracles that we are living every single day.
• 6:12
  It's a joke how extreme our miracles are.
• 6:15
  Everything that we have, they don't make any sense, we do.
• 6:17
  Because of soccer every morning, right?
• 6:19
  That's the focus. Exactly right.
• 6:21
  The focus of because of soccer is to open up your day with the
• 6:24
  appreciation, the real appreciation.
• 6:26
  Now we'll get to why in a minute.
• 6:28
  We'll get to why this isn't done enough and why this emotion is
• 6:33
  not there enough. I'll tell you, Paul one Paul,
• 6:35
  one of why this emotion is not the driving emotion in our mind.
• 6:38
  And no matter who we are and strong we are, the natural
• 6:41
  driving emotion are to our lackings and to what we're
• 6:45
  missing. It's just the way the world
• 6:47
  works. It's the way that we're wired.
• 6:49
  I, I think about this every single day.
• 6:51
  I say to myself, why is my emotion based on what I want
• 6:56
  more of when I plan on doing, where I need the next step to
• 7:00
  be? How about stop and appreciate
• 7:03
  the wonder that I have. It's unbelievable.
• 7:05
  Every one of us, it's it's overwhelming, right?
• 7:08
  It's really overwhelming. How come we don't stop and do so
• 7:10
  our brain is wired the other way for some odd reason, and it's a
• 7:14
  great shame. Why is it a great shame because
• 7:16
  it takes away from the ability to number one this point,
• 7:21
  appreciate him And if a servant, if you'd stop and see what God
• 7:26
  is doing for you, he'd be overwhelmed.
• 7:28
  Be hard to function. That's how great the the gift is
• 7:31
  you to be speech is a burning love and a burning desire to
• 7:34
  Sir. We have this other frame of mind
• 7:37
  that holds us back because we're so focused laser focused on what
• 7:41
  we're missing. That is part that that part's a
• 7:44
  shame. I think it's a very significant
• 7:46
  now the other reason we don't notice this is because we don't
• 7:50
  really actually focus. We're wired the wrong way.
• 7:53
  That's true. That's the intent of how we have
• 7:55
  to fight it. And secondly, if you don't have
• 7:57
  a chance to stop and focus, to stop and reflect, can pay
• 8:01
  yourself to somebody else your age, right?
• 8:04
  Somebody else your age, let's say out of the community to make
• 8:08
  it even clearer or distinct, same physical structure as a
• 8:14
  human being as well. And what does he have?
• 8:17
  He doesn't have your family. He doesn't have your children.
• 8:20
  He doesn't have your marriage, not have your income.
• 8:23
  He doesn't have your connections.
• 8:24
  He doesn't have your friends, doesn't have anything.
• 8:27
  And everyone of us can say this all right, no matter.
• 8:29
  We all deal with our struggles, but it doesn't make a
• 8:30
  difference. We still have so much.
• 8:32
  And this requires the hit the bonanut.
• 8:35
  Hit the bonanut means you stop and focus.
• 8:38
  The way he says the next step is you have to close your door,
• 8:43
  which really means clear out your mind and focus.
• 8:46
  Vinila Zed, Sarika, Adam, She had boded.
• 8:49
  Mehadarov, you need to be alone in your room.
• 8:53
  Vicolbet Vic what's call my door and you gather all your thoughts
• 8:57
  on a tour. Allah is not clued vilay Yun ba
• 9:00
  de varima MIT meila to focus, to stare and to focus on these
• 9:05
  things and think about them. Play line in your mind, you
• 9:07
  know, let yourself go there and say to yourself sounds.
• 9:10
  Like what your? Father did every.
• 9:11
  Day. Yeah, that's.
• 9:11
  That's this is based on the same idea of a Hezbollah nefesh at
• 9:15
  the end of the day, where a person reflects on what I could
• 9:18
  do better. And this is the you also reflect
• 9:21
  on the gifts that you have and all you have to do is just focus
• 9:26
  on what you have and it will be overwhelming.
• 9:29
  And by the way, it'll give you such strong mental health, you
• 9:34
  wouldn't believe it. Mental health, it's weakness is
• 9:37
  based on depression, anxiety, worry, stress, all the naturals.
• 9:44
  But all those are based on a deeper concept of looking out
• 9:47
  there. I know they're our physical
• 9:48
  structure, but they're also based on looking over there.
• 9:51
  I am, let's say a person is depressed because I don't feel
• 9:53
  my situation is adequate to what it could be.
• 9:56
  He's stressed out and worried because of all the worries that
• 9:59
  he has. He has to pay that bill and
• 10:01
  marry of that child and he has to continue something to work
• 10:04
  and he's got so many issues. But if you stop and reflect on
• 10:08
  what you have, the focus will be, yes, I have those worries,
• 10:11
  but those are what I have to get to.
• 10:14
  Those are after I appreciate what I have and therefore I
• 10:17
  needed to spill over to these other areas.
• 10:19
  I got to do better. I got to make more.
• 10:21
  I have to have more with my family.
• 10:23
  I'm understanding that. But after I appreciate the the
• 10:26
  fact of the kind of gifts that I have.
• 10:29
  And if I stop, close the door, focus and appreciate, I will be
• 10:35
  literally so emotional. I'll not be able to contain
• 10:39
  myself. When you hear about people, they
• 10:41
  used to be just always thank you Hashem, in the real way, the old
• 10:44
  fashioned way. And people who were just so
• 10:46
  gratified had so much gratitude. Those are only after the fact,
• 10:49
  or could be during or because during it's difficult.
• 10:52
  So really, it's supposed to be at every minute.
• 10:56
  The reality is the most effective means will be if you
• 11:00
  look back, you know when your daughter's getting married on
• 11:02
  the wedding day and you think about what it took together
• 11:04
  here. Oh, you have your first
• 11:06
  grandchild and you think about what it takes.
• 11:08
  I have a grandchild, other people don't have it.
• 11:12
  Or on your anniversary and you think about how much work and
• 11:15
  how much everything it takes to be at this stage or when you're
• 11:18
  able to, you know, even when it comes to financially.
• 11:21
  So how do you have a financial checkpoint?
• 11:24
  Maybe after you paid for that wedding or after you were able
• 11:27
  to rent that home in the summer and have your family come around
• 11:31
  together or whatever it is, you know, pay off your children's
• 11:34
  tuition and take him through school.
• 11:36
  There are so many areas that are so overwhelming.
• 11:40
  And yet for some odd reason, and I, I once once told a beautiful
• 11:43
  thing, how do you appreciate your children?
• 11:46
  Cause children can drive you crazy.
• 11:48
  Children, they go, oh, drive me nuts.
• 11:49
  So many worries, so many things, so many frustrations.
• 11:53
  Maybe, you know, and one of the things I told is look at them
• 11:56
  when they're sleeping, when they're sleeping, walk into the
• 11:59
  room and look at them, no matter how wild they are, how crazy
• 12:02
  they are, how much they drive you nuts when they're sleeping
• 12:06
  and peaceful, right? You walk into the room when
• 12:09
  they're sleeping and you can have a certain level of emotion.
• 12:12
  I've adapted this idea. It's a beautiful idea.
• 12:16
  You walk in looking when they're sleeping.
• 12:18
  They just drove you crazy an hour ago.
• 12:19
  They would drive you a fighter with you.
• 12:20
  They would make a difference and peaceful.
• 12:23
  You love them to pieces and it's a gift that you have them.
• 12:27
  And this emotion will drive you to be involved in, let's say,
• 12:32
  serving Hashem through your children the next day, right?
• 12:37
  This emotion is overwhelming. And it's a great gift that we
• 12:40
  have. And not everyone has this gift.
• 12:42
  And this is the idea of it's born an oot, it's born a doot.
• 12:47
  It's like loot. close the door. Just focus on what you have.
• 12:53
  You know you're driving in the car, you're going to work,
• 12:56
  you're on the train, you're taking a walk, you're loaning
• 13:00
  Efis, you loan your office, you have a free minute, you're
• 13:04
  loaning home. Stop and appreciate and reflect,
• 13:07
  reflect, reflect. Because we are the most gifted
• 13:10
  geek. Unimaginable.
• 13:11
  And what it will cause is a stronger form of you.
• 13:15
  Strong when it comes to service to Hashem and strong when it
• 13:18
  comes to service in all these areas.
• 13:20
  You'll do more for your children when you appreciate what they
• 13:23
  are. You'll do more for yourself when
• 13:25
  you appreciate what you're holding.
• 13:27
  You'll be driven to have more of yourself.
• 13:29
  More of yourself means to not allow yourself to be taken away
• 13:33
  by all the worries and frustrations and the headaches
• 13:35
  of the world and lose yourself in that area.
• 13:37
  Instead, you'll keep yourself grounded and you'll enjoy
• 13:41
  yourself so much more. How?
• 13:43
  Because you recognize the gift that you have, which is you.
• 13:47
  No one focuses on his own gifts of being him.
• 13:50
  Nobody does. I don't do it either enough.
• 13:52
  But if we do, we can be overwhelmed with emotion and
• 13:55
  therefore literally we can energize ourselves with His
• 13:59
  mindset and power ourselves forward.
• 14:02
  We are the most gifted people around, every one of us, and we
• 14:05
  therefore should be the most motivated people around, instead
• 14:08
  of being the most gifted and yet the most worried, which is a
• 14:11
  somewhat sadly at times a Sarah reality of our community and our
• 14:15
  people, which is that we are the most gifted, no question about
• 14:18
  it. We also are the most mentally
• 14:21
  busy, anxious, worried, frustrated, all those things.
• 14:25
  We have the greatest filled cup and we feel like we have the
• 14:28
  most empty cup. It's the strangest thing
• 14:30
  imaginable, but it is our makeup.
• 14:32
  It's how our wiring is. A person from our community who
• 14:36
  just would be willing to reflect instead of look forward.
• 14:40
  He will have both gifts because he is the most blessed.
• 14:43
  That's reality. And he also would have the
• 14:45
  reflection, which would make him powered forward instead of being
• 14:48
  worried, nervous, anxious, even somewhat sad.
• 14:53
  He'll have what he has and now a power and forward.
• 14:55
  And a person needs to absorb this constantly and don't allow
• 14:59
  the makeup of our world to hold his back in this way.
• 15:02
  I believe in this so much. And he's telling you this
• 15:05
  willpower you forward to be a dedicated person.
• 15:07
  Every area this idea, we'll stop with this.