Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Is Fear Preventing You From Beginning?

Transcript

5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Is Fear Preventing You From Beginning? · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:22
  Speaker 1: What's going on? Everyone? Emily A body here. You're listening
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: to five Minute Friday from Hurdle. I want to talk
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: this week about the fear of starting. It is genuinely
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: something that we all are constantly experiencing. Right new things,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: new beginnings can feel both completely invigorating and also very
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: nerve wracking. They can bring up a lot of anxiety
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: because new beginnings also come hand in hand with a
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: lot of unknown Oftentimes, the fear of starting something new
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: because of that unknown, can be very paralyzing. And it
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: was in a coaching call that I was doing earlier
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: this week where my client said to me that this
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: fear has gotten to a place for her that feels
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: not only overwhelming, but truly debilitating. And I asked her
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: to tell me what that fear is doing for her,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: and she listed through a bunch of negative things and
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I said, it sounds like this fear isn't serving you.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: Is that what you would say? And she agreed, And
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I said, what if I told you there was a
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: way to not feel this way anymore? And she was ecstatic.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: She was like, that's all I want. I don't want
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: to let this feel paralyze me. And I asked her,
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: how could it feel for you to begin? And it
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: was the first time that she thought about the fact that, yes,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: a beginning can be intimidating, and yes there will still
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: be unknown, but garnering the courage to begin allows her
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: to escape from the frustrations that come with the fear
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: of the unknown. Understandably, so, it is so tiring to
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: feel paralyzed within your decision making. But when you get
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: to a point where you can use what's within you,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: that courage, that's within you, that ability, knowing that previously
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: you have started and you have successfully been a beginner
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: and gotten over that hurdle and moved into the next
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: step and the next step, that you have the opportunity
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: to do it again. And so that's what I call
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: the power of the reframe here, that's the reframe playing
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: out when you don't do something because you are scared,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: but you realize that doing that thing can actually provide
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: you a lot of freedom, can actually help you f
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: feel better, because that's ultimately it's the goal, right you
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: want to feel good in your life. Life's too short,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: life's too short to let fear be the thing that
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: is standing in your way from going after the things
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: that excite you, the things that you really truly desire,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: and so to get over that fear, we then use
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: a couple of tools, not only to be set realistic
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: goals and I've talked about smart goals on the show before, specific, measurable, attainable, relevant,
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and time bound. But then we made an action plan
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: for each of her smart goals and we wrote down
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: two of them, and she said at the end of
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: our time together that she felt more ready than she
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: has in a long time, just to begin. And I
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: thought that was really special. You only get to be
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: a beginner once and again. It is so understandable that
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: there are nerves, there's anxiety, there are so many feelings
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: that come up with the unknown. But what if you
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: were to really look around at what's happening around you
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: and think to yourself, what an awesome opportunity this is,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: What a cool chance it is to learn, What a
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: cool chance it is to learn not only about other
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: things the external, but also the internal and how you
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: react to new stimulus, new challenge, food for thought. My
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: prompt for you this week, what is one thing that
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: you have been hesitant to begin on and what is
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: one step that you can take this week to make
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: that actually happen. What is one thing that you have
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: been hesitant to begin on and what is one step
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: that you can take this week to make it actually happen?
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And now a listener question.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Hi, Emily, this is Lon. I just wanted to say
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I really love listening to your podcast. It helps make
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: the time go by really fast, especially when I'm driving
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: to work. The question I have for you is, if
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: you could live anywhere in the world, where would you
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: live and what would you be doing. Do you think
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: you'd be still doing what you are currently doing now
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: or do you think that you would shift into another career?
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you, oh man. This is a good question, and
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: candidly it's one I've thought a lot about because I
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: am now I've officially lived in New York for thirteen years,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: which is mind blowing, especially considering how expensive it is
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: to live in this beautiful place. And as much as
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I want to say I would love to easily live
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: in Florence or on the Italian countryside, I firmly believe
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: that I'm a city girl. I think that one of
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: the only places I could see myself living at this
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: point that's not New York City would be Washington, d C.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: But I love living in New York and specifically I
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: love living in Brooklyn, and it makes me so happy
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: not only being here but coming back here. I have
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: the awesome opportunity to travel pretty regularly and without fail.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Every time I come back here. This feels like home
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: and it feels good. So I don't know, I'm a
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: girly through and through. That's not to say I won't
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: leave Brooklyn ever, but for the time being, if I
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: could pick anywhere to live, it would probably be an
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: upgraded Brownstone new fixtures. Somehow I miraculously get my packages
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: without having to worry about having to redirect them via
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: FedEx or BS. Yeah, a nice brown Stone in Brooklyn.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: And as for what I'm doing, I mean, I love
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing, and candidly, I just want to do
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: more of it. I want to keep building on not
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: only the relationships that I have, but the skill set
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: that I have. And I want to keep impacting people
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: to the best of my ability to help them in
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: whatever feels right on their journey to live healthier and happier,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: more motivated lives. And so yeah, it's kind of crazy
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: to realize that I'm really doing exactly what I want
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: to do and that feels really really good. Make sure
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: you're following along with hurdle over on social It's at
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily Abadi another hurdle conquered.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.