Latest / The Burros of Berea Podcast / Episode 327- Of Sashes and Slaves- Part 3

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Episode 327- Of Sashes and Slaves- Part 3 · The Burros of Berea Podcast

0:06
I had on the surface something that seemed to
0:08
be the perfect life for a pretty good life. Superficially,
0:12
materialistically, I was very successful. I had
0:14
the job, I had the dog, I had the car, I had
0:16
the boyfriend, I had the blah, blah, blah, blah,
0:18
blah, blah, blah, blah, the clothes, everything
0:19
that I thought I needed in order to be okay.
0:22
And yet, I couldn't stand to be with my family
0:24
for more than two hours at a time. And the idea
0:27
of being honest with even my best friend was
0:29
something that was so far outside the realm of
0:31
possibility that I just kind of thought you always
0:33
lived your life inauthentically. And when I came
0:36
to ESP and I started to do the work in the Coles
0:39
Lab, do the work in the classes, I started to
0:42
transform in a way that I never expected. Like
0:45
I literally didn't know that you could spend
0:47
time with someone and not be nervous. I literally
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didn't know that it was possible to have a week
0:54
with your family where you didn't feel like leaving.
0:59
I just thought that that wasn't really possible.
1:01
I thought it happened in the movies. And now,
1:04
that's my life, that's my reality. In our previous
1:07
episode, we watched NXIVM evolve into something
1:10
more than a self -help company. We followed its
1:12
expansion across borders, the rise of an inner
1:15
circle, and the financial machine driven by heiress
1:18
Claire Bromfman. Titles grew heavier, loyalty
1:21
grew deeper, and freedom began to shrink. It
1:25
was no longer enough to believe you had to belong.
1:28
But no one joins a cult, not really. People join
1:32
something that offers them clarity, meaning,
1:35
and purpose. And that's exactly what it offered
1:37
one young woman, a woman who had already spent
1:40
her life in front of cameras, pleasing audiences,
1:43
living inside characters others wrote for her.
1:46
This is the story of Allison Mack, and how a
1:49
childhood built on performance became a perfect
1:52
prelude to control. I'm Rick Welch, and this
1:56
is Of Sashes and Slaves. Allison Kristen Mack
2:01
was born on July 29th, 1982 in Preet's West Germany,
2:05
a small town in Schleswig -Holstein. Her father,
2:08
Jonathan Mack, was an opera singer with a warm
2:11
tenor voice and a career that kept the family
2:13
moving. Her mother, Mindy, managed the household
2:16
and cared for Allison and her younger siblings.
2:19
They weren't wealthy, but they were artistic.
2:22
And from the beginning, Allison was immersed
2:24
in a world of music, language, and creative expression.
2:27
She was a bright child. curious, expressive,
2:30
and naturally social. Her father's contract with
2:33
the German opera company meant her early years
2:35
were spent in Europe, but by the time she was
2:37
four, the family had moved back to California.
2:41
They settled in Long Beach, a coastal city with
2:43
theater programs, dance studios, and casting
2:46
calls within driving distance of Hollywood. By
2:48
age seven, Allison was enrolled in acting classes.
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It wasn't forced, it was fun. She loved playing
2:54
pretend. She loved memorizing lines, performing
2:57
for the room and hearing laughter or applause.
3:01
One family friend later said, quote, She was
3:03
always the one who could turn it on. If she was
3:06
nervous, you wouldn't know it. She just smiled
3:08
and went. End quote. It didn't take long for
3:12
the casting world to notice. By age eight, Allison
3:15
had landed her first job, a commercial for a
3:18
chocolate company. Then another, and another.
3:21
Within a year, she had an agent, a head shop
3:24
portfolio, and a calendar filled with auditions.
3:27
Child acting is often romanticized, but the reality
3:30
is grueling. Early call times, rejection after
3:34
rejection, pressure to perform on cue. For Allison,
3:38
it wasn't just a hobby, it became her identity,
3:41
her job, her role in the family. She continued
3:44
attending school, but it was frequently interrupted
3:47
by filming schedules. She was homeschooled at
3:49
times, and rolled in alternative education programs
3:51
at others. Despite the instability, Her teachers
3:55
described her as bright and respectful. Focused.
3:58
But always, there was something slightly rehearsed
4:01
about her answers. Allison didn't rebel. She
4:04
performed. Through middle school and into high
4:07
school, she continued working. Small roles in
4:09
sitcoms, guest appearances, TV movies. She played
4:13
the good girl, the cute neighbor, the smart best
4:16
friend. She had an instinct for the camera, knew
4:19
where to look, how to shift her voice, how to
4:21
carry a scene without upstaging her co -stars.
4:24
By 1998, she'd appeared in more than two dozen
4:27
productions, not a household name yet, but known
4:30
enough to be recognized by other child actors.
4:33
The industry saw her as reliable, low -maintenance,
4:36
professional, and she was, because she knew how
4:39
to be. What people didn't see, what Allison may
4:43
not have even fully grasped, was how much of
4:45
her emotional development was being shaped around
4:47
pleasing others. Casting directors, coaches,
4:50
viewers, her own parents. She was growing up
4:54
in a world where validation was external, measured
4:56
in callbacks, applause, and praise. And that
4:59
kind of conditioning, especially when it begins
5:01
young, leaves deep roots. Her breakthrough came
5:05
in 2001 when she was cast in a new series from
5:07
Warner Brothers Television, Smallville, a teen
5:11
drama reimagining the Superman mythos focused
5:13
on Clark Kent's early years. Allison was cast
5:16
as Chloe Sullivan, the bright, quirky, and relentless
5:19
high school journalist. It was a supporting role
5:22
but she made it unforgettable. Chloe became a
5:25
fan favorite. Funny, smart, loyal, a little neurotic,
5:30
a little flirtatious, and absolutely unforgettable
5:32
to a generation of viewers. The show was a hit.
5:36
For the first time in her life, Alice and Mac
5:38
had both name recognition and steady work. She
5:42
appeared in over 200 episodes across a decade,
5:45
became a fixture at Comic -Con panels, and fielded
5:48
interviews with teen magazines fan sites, and
5:50
entertainment reporters. From the outside, it
5:54
looked like success. But fame is strange. It
5:57
gives visibility without intimacy. And for Allison,
6:00
the long hours, the pressure to maintain her
6:02
image, and the constant attention left her feeling
6:05
increasingly isolated. She once said in an interview,
6:08
quote, I love my job, but sometimes I don't know
6:11
who I am when I'm not working, end quote. Smallville
6:15
gave her stability, but not rest. Between filming,
6:18
she continued attending acting workshops, reading
6:21
self -help books, journaling, and searching for
6:24
what she often called clarity. By the mid -2000s,
6:27
she had become fascinated with the concept of
6:29
personal development. Not in a superficial, Hollywood
6:32
way, but in a searching, almost desperate way.
6:35
She wanted more than applause. She wanted meaning.
6:38
She tried yoga, meditation, motivational seminars.
6:42
Some helped. Some didn't. But she kept looking.
6:46
And in 2006, during a quiet period between seasons,
6:50
she accepted an invitation from a friend in Vancouver.
6:53
A workshop. Just five days. Life -changing, they
6:57
said. A system for understanding the self. It
7:01
wasn't advertised as NXIVM. It was just a room,
7:04
with quiet music, folded chairs, smiling faces,
7:08
and a woman named Nancy. Allison sat down, opened
7:12
her notebook, and listened. The room was beige.
7:16
The chairs were plain. There was no branding
7:18
on the walls. No mention of Keith Raniere. This
7:22
was Executive Success Programs, a five -day intensive
7:25
hosted in a rented suite in Vancouver. Allison
7:29
wasn't sure what to expect. Her friend had described
7:32
it as a leadership training, something that could
7:34
unlock personal blocks, help her focus, help
7:37
her grow. She was curious, slightly skeptical,
7:41
but open. It started slowly. icebreakers, discussions
7:45
on values, nothing strange, nothing alarming.
7:49
The trainers, polished and gentle, talked about
7:51
living consciously, about authenticity, about
7:54
choosing growth over comfort. Allison had heard
7:58
these ideas before, at yoga retreats, in acting
8:01
classes, in therapy, but something about how
8:03
they were presented here flicked. It was the
8:06
language, structured, rehearsed, smooth. Each
8:10
term felt crafted to stick in the mind. Words
8:12
like disintegration, parasite, rational inquiry.
8:17
The trainers didn't ask questions, they guided
8:19
narratives. And Allison, trained since childhood
8:23
to listen, absorb and perform, followed the script.
8:27
Day one focused on belief systems. What stories
8:30
do you tell yourself? Where did those stories
8:32
come from? Who benefits from you staying small?
8:36
For someone who'd spent years playing fictional
8:38
roles, these questions weren't abstract, they
8:41
were personal. She thought about the industry,
8:43
about casting calls where she'd been praised
8:45
for being perfectly safe, about interviews where
8:48
she gave the same answers over and over, about
8:51
relationships where she didn't know how to be
8:53
anything but supportive. The trainer asked her,
8:56
what if your whole personality is a defense mechanism?
9:00
That night, Allison couldn't sleep. She returned
9:03
the next day energized, hungry. She took notes
9:06
feverishly. She raised her hand. She volunteered
9:09
for a demo exercise where a coach helped her
9:11
identify a limiting belief tied to her sense
9:14
of identity. The coach said, quote, You're not
9:17
here to please anyone. You're here to become
9:20
who you were meant to be, end quote. The room
9:23
clapped, Alice and smiled. She felt seen. Each
9:29
day built on the last, more modules, more language,
9:32
more drills. They talked about authentic communication,
9:36
emotional triggers, entitlement. victim consciousness.
9:39
They didn't talk down to her. They didn't ask
9:42
her to dumb it down. It was serious, intellectual,
9:46
emotional. It felt like school, but better, because
9:49
here there were no grades, only growth. And growth,
9:53
in ESP, was always measured through willingness.
9:57
By day three, Allison was crying. She had shared
10:00
a story from her teenage years about an acting
10:02
gig that turned toxic and the years of self -doubt
10:05
had planted. The room didn't pity her. They nodded.
10:09
They listened. They mirrored her emotion with
10:11
words like resonance and accountability. It didn't
10:15
feel like judgment. It felt like transformation.
10:18
And then, near the end of day four, something
10:20
shifted. The language became more precise, more
10:24
structured. A coach began referencing a technology
10:26
that had been developed to systematize growth.
10:29
They introduced the term rational inquiry, a
10:32
methodology created by a man named Keith. They
10:35
didn't say much about him, just that he was brilliant,
10:38
that he'd developed the curriculum, that he believed
10:41
in the potential of every person in the room.
10:44
Then they showed a short clip, Keith speaking
10:46
softly and low lighting, about the nature of
10:48
human entropy. He said, quote, We are systems
10:52
in chaos, but with ethics, with alignment, we
10:55
can become creators instead of destroyers. End
10:58
quote. Allison didn't fully understand it, but
11:02
it felt important. And when a facilitator leaned
11:05
over and said, He sees something in you, she
11:08
believed them. That night, she called her friend.
11:12
She said, This is different. I think I found
11:15
something real. Day five was integration. They
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spoke about commitment, about going deeper, about
11:21
becoming part of a mission to change the world.
11:24
The trainers didn't push. They invited. They
11:27
smiled. And at the end of the session, they asked
11:30
who was ready to continue. Allison raised her
11:33
hand. She wasn't sure what came next, but she
11:37
knew she wanted more. She had been working in
11:40
television for nearly 20 years. She'd stood on
11:43
sound stages, smiled through press junkets, endured
11:46
character arcs she didn't control, and for the
11:48
first time, someone was telling her she didn't
11:51
need to act. She just needed to evolve. Back
11:55
on the Smallville set, nothing looked different.
11:57
Same costumes, same lighting, same lines. but
12:01
something inside her had changed. She started
12:04
using the ESP language in daily life. Not overtly,
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just phrases, reflections, little adjustments
12:10
in tone. A crew member asked if she was seeing
12:13
someone new. No, she said, I'm just realigning.
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Over the next few months, Allison flew back to
12:20
Vancouver and Albany several times. She signed
12:22
up for advanced trainings, met with coaches,
12:25
submitted to Explorations of Meaning or EMs,
12:28
where she would sit, sometimes for hours, tracing
12:31
the roots of her emotions back to childhood.
12:34
She journaled about her breakthroughs, she wrote
12:36
mission statements, she paid thousands of dollars
12:38
for courses, and felt lucky to do so. In interviews,
12:42
she still smiled, still played the part, but
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privately, she was building a new identity. Not
12:48
Allison the actor, Allison the student, Allison
12:51
the seeker, Allison the disciple. And within
12:55
a year, she would become much more than that.
12:59
It started with a suggestion. A coach said after
13:02
one of Allison's EM sessions, quote, you should
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meet him. He'd be honored to know you're doing
13:07
the work, end quote. Him, of course, was Keith
13:11
Ranieri. Though she'd heard his name, watched
13:14
a few short videos, and seen his teaching cited
13:17
in nearly every module, Allison Mack had not
13:20
yet met him in person. She wasn't sure what to
13:23
expect. A guru? A businessman? A philosopher?
13:27
None of those labels fit what she encountered.
13:30
It was late, past midnight. She had been invited
13:33
to join a walk near Clifton Park. Just a few
13:35
people, they said. Nothing formal. Dress casually.
13:38
Bring your questions. The street was quiet. Trees
13:42
rustled. Keith wore athletic pants, a tucked
13:45
-in t -shirt, and wire -frame glasses. He walked
13:48
slowly, deliberately. No shoes. He said it helped
13:52
him connect to the earth. When he spoke, his
13:55
voice was soft. Slower than expected. Thoughtful.
13:59
Even hesitant. You're the actress, he said, smiling.
14:02
But you don't seem like one. She laughed. What
14:05
does that mean? I mean, you're not trying to
14:08
be seen, you're trying to disappear. It landed.
14:12
Not because it was flattering, but because it
14:15
felt true. They walked for over an hour. Keith
14:18
didn't lecture. He asked questions. Deep, winding
14:22
questions that touched on identity, family, creativity.
14:25
Shame. What would you do, he asked, if you stopped
14:29
needing to be understood? Allison wasn't sure,
14:32
but she wanted to find out. That night marked
14:35
a shift, a threshold. She had entered the orbit
14:38
of Vanguard, the name followers used to refer
14:41
to Key. It wasn't forced, it was modeled. Everyone
14:45
around her used it. The word had power, and before
14:48
long, she used it too. From that point on, Allison's
14:53
connection to NXIVM deepened. She started flying
14:55
to Albany regularly, sometimes just for a weekend
14:58
intensive, sometimes to spend time with the inner
15:01
circle. At first, she stayed in hotels, then
15:04
at a townhouse rented by the organization. Eventually,
15:07
she asked if she could be more involved. The
15:10
answer was yes, enthusiastically. She was given
15:14
tasks, organizing events, mentoring new students,
15:17
even helping with promotional materials. Her
15:20
fame was never exploited publicly, but it was
15:23
quietly leveraged. One coach told her, quote,
15:25
Your face carries influence, but your heart carries
15:28
the mission, end quote. Allison beamed. She had
15:32
spent decades serving scripts written by others.
15:35
Now, she was part of creating something. She
15:38
immersed herself fully. She stopped drinking,
15:41
started journaling daily, adopted Nexium's recommended
15:44
diet. Low calorie, mostly vegan, light on stimulants.
15:48
It clears the mind, Keith said. It eliminates
15:50
excess. She began sleeping less. He kept odd
15:54
hours, up at night, resting by day, and members
15:56
who wanted access adjusted accordingly. Allison
15:59
was no exception. She learned to function on
16:01
four to five hours. It became a point of pride.
16:05
She also began using new language, terms like
16:07
integrated, aligned, on path, in service. Her
16:11
tone softened, her gaze deepened, and the people
16:14
who knew her best started to feel a gap. One
16:17
former colleague said, quote, She still smiled,
16:20
but it didn't reach her eyes anymore. It was
16:22
like she was somewhere else." But Allison didn't
16:26
see loss, she saw focus. She continued filming
16:29
Smallville while doubling her involvement in
16:31
NXIVM. When she wasn't on set, she was reading
16:34
Keith's essays, reviewing training materials,
16:36
or meeting with her assigned coach. She shared
16:39
breakthroughs, confessed doubts, and received
16:41
feedback in real time. The praise was addictive,
16:45
the structure felt safe, and the more she gave,
16:47
the more the group gave back. At a weekend retreat,
16:50
she was honored in front of the group for modeling
16:52
ethical commitment. Nancy Salzman said she was
16:55
living proof that celebrity and integrity can
16:58
coexist. She cried. From that moment, her rise
17:03
accelerated. She was invited to late -night volleyball
17:05
games Keith hosted. She was added to private
17:08
group discussions. She began participating in
17:10
small, invitation -only salons where Keith would
17:13
go deeper into philosophy and the metaphysics
17:16
of ethics. She often asked her opinion in front
17:19
of others, gave her subtle tasks, let her feel
17:22
chosen, and in a world where she had been trained
17:24
to audition for approval, being chosen felt like
17:27
oxygen. Soon, her schedule revolved around NXIVM.
17:31
She rearranged work commitments, flew cross -country
17:34
for special events, skipped Hollywood parties
17:37
in favor of ethics modules, and when Smallville
17:40
neared its end, she didn't panic. She felt prepared.
17:44
NXIVM had become her identity. her network, her
17:47
belief system. And Keith had become more than
17:49
a teacher, he was a visionary, a guide, a source.
17:54
He told her she was a leader, that her visibility
17:56
could be used to raise consciousness, that she
17:59
had the potential to redefine what it means to
18:01
be a woman of purpose. He said it gently, rarely,
18:06
but with precision. And Allison, always the performer,
18:10
rose to meet the role she believed she was born
18:12
for. By 2008, Allison Mack was no longer just
18:16
attending trainings. She was facilitating them.
18:19
She had completed multiple intensives, submitted
18:22
herself to hours of EMs, climbed the sash ladder,
18:25
and internalized the language of executive success
18:27
programs. She now wore an orange sash, the mark
18:31
of a coach and nexium. And with it came not just
18:34
recognition, but responsibility. As a coach,
18:38
Allison led workshops, offered one -on -one support
18:40
to students, and wrote weekly reports on their
18:42
progress. She tracked breakthroughs and setbacks.
18:46
She flagged disintegrations. She delivered feedback
18:49
with compassion and precision. She was good at
18:52
it. Too good. Years of acting a trainer to mirror
18:55
people's emotions, to reflect back what they
18:58
wanted, to speak in tones that soothed or stirred
19:01
depending on the moment. In NXIVM, that wasn't
19:04
manipulation. It was mastery. Keith Ranieri told
19:08
her once, quote, You have a gift for seeing people.
19:12
Use it. That's your calling." And she believed
19:16
him. And so she gave more. She helped develop
19:19
new training materials. She offered testimonials
19:22
and private recruitment pitches. She became a
19:25
bridge between two worlds, Hollywood and Albany.
19:28
And the deeper she went, the more she changed.
19:32
Her old life started to fall away, not through
19:34
force, but through neglect. She stopped responding
19:37
to casting offers, stopped seeing old friends,
19:40
stopped doing interviews. She even closed her
19:42
personal blog, which once offered honest reflections
19:45
about acting, stress, and self -image. Now, when
19:49
she posted online, it was about consciousness,
19:51
purpose, or quotes from Keith. She wasn't ashamed.
19:55
She was evolving. And people noticed, inside
19:59
Nectium, she was praised as an example of transformation.
20:03
Outside, friends and colleagues grew concerned.
20:06
They said she spoke in riddles, that her eyes
20:08
looked tired, that she didn't sound like herself
20:10
anymore. But Allison had an answer for that.
20:14
Maybe I'm finally becoming myself. She'd been
20:18
assigned a coach who reviewed her emotional progress
20:20
weekly. She'd been encouraged to mentor new members,
20:23
often women, who were seen as high value. That
20:27
term wasn't about net worth. It was about influence
20:30
potential. Allison, of course, understood the
20:33
power of visibility, so she framed it as service.
20:37
She said, quote, If I can help one person see
20:40
the truth about themselves, it's worth it." But
20:44
the truth was Keith's version of truth. And with
20:47
every new task, every new level, she drifted
20:50
further from the person she had been. She began
20:53
spending extended stretches in Clifton Park,
20:55
sometimes weeks at a time. The apartment she
20:57
stayed in was modest, shared with other women
21:00
in the community. They coordinated meals, attended
21:03
sessions together, followed group dietary rules.
21:06
Phones were discouraged. sleep was limited, structure
21:09
was constant. And over time, Keith began inviting
21:13
Allison into smaller, more exclusive circles,
21:15
late -night conversations, philosophy salons,
21:18
walks by the lake. She felt chosen, not because
21:22
of her fame, but because of her death. He said
21:26
to her once, quote, You've done the work. Now
21:29
it's time to build something greater, end quote.
21:33
She didn't ask what, not yet. Instead, She obeyed.
21:39
Back in Los Angeles, she started gently introducing
21:41
ESP to colleagues, never forcefully, just invitations,
21:46
recommendations, and offered to attend a session
21:48
just to explore. She wasn't aggressive. She was
21:52
glowing. She once described NXIVM as a community
21:55
of people committed to ethical evolution. She
21:57
didn't say the word cult. She didn't know that's
22:00
what people were whispering behind her back.
22:02
How could she? From her perspective, She had
22:05
escaped the emptiness of fame and found a cause
22:07
worth serving. She began journaling with more
22:10
intensity, pages about ethics, about love, about
22:14
purpose, about how women had been taught to compete,
22:17
to hide, to use charm as a weapon. She wrote,
22:21
quote, I'm unlearning everything I thought made
22:23
me powerful, end quote. She wasn't just learning
22:27
Nextium's ideology. She was absorbing its worldview,
22:31
one built on the premise that most people are
22:33
lost. that the self must be broken down to be
22:36
rebuilt, that submission isn't weakness, it's
22:39
strength. And with each EM, each correction,
22:43
each moment of praise, Allison internalized those
22:45
beliefs. Nancy Saltzman praised her devotion.
22:49
Lauren Saltzman called her a sister in purpose.
22:52
He told her she was becoming an archetype for
22:55
conscious women. The validation was powerful.
22:58
The belonging was complete. By now, Allison had
23:02
stopped seeing herself as a participant. She
23:04
saw herself as a builder, someone with responsibility
23:07
to help others reach what she'd found. She began
23:11
developing new workshop content, volunteered
23:13
to assist with curriculum design, even floated
23:16
the idea of producing a documentary on rational
23:19
inquiry. She wasn't acting anymore, not on camera,
23:23
and not off. She was becoming what NXIVM called
23:26
a fully integrated being. And what she couldn't
23:30
see, when no one around her dared name was that
23:33
integration had a cost. The ability to question,
23:37
the freedom to walk away, the very notion of
23:40
doubt. And soon, that cost would rise. By the
23:45
close of 2009, the world of NXIVM had begun to
23:48
shift. What had once been a structured but seemingly
23:51
open system of personal growth had started to
23:53
close in around an inner circle, a web of loyalty,
23:57
secrecy, and unspoken tests. Alice in Mac was
24:00
rising within it. But she wasn't alone. Lauren
24:03
Salzman had been there longer. The daughter of
24:06
Nancy Salzman, she had grown up surrounded by
24:08
therapy, jargon, and emotional diagnostics. To
24:11
outsiders, Lauren was quiet, intense, and precise.
24:15
To insiders, she was one of Keith Ranieri's most
24:17
trusted disciples. She had been coaching since
24:20
the early days of executive success programs.
24:23
She ran workshops. She helped develop the curriculum.
24:26
And she knew, better than most, how deeply the
24:29
work could take you. because she'd been taken
24:31
by it herself. Lauren didn't just follow the
24:34
rules, she helped write them. By the time Allison
24:37
joined, Lauren was already acting as a kind of
24:40
gatekeeper. She evaluated new coaches, supervised
24:43
ethics reviews, and delivered Keith's feedback,
24:46
softly, with care, but with finality. And like
24:50
Allison, she believed she was serving something
24:52
sacred. The two women connected quickly. Both
24:55
were disciplined, empathetic, idealistic. They
24:59
shared a sense of urgency and a deep need to
25:01
prove themselves. Lauren became a mentor, then
25:04
a friend, then something more complex. A mirror.
25:09
As they moved deeper into Nixxiom's core, their
25:11
roles began to blur. Heath asked them both to
25:14
think about special projects. He spoke in abstraction.
25:17
He talked about legacy, honor, and the evolution
25:20
of womanhood. He said, quote, we are building
25:23
something that will reshape the world, end quote.
25:27
Meanwhile, another woman entered the fold, Nikki
25:30
Klein, a fellow actress best known for her role
25:33
on Battlestar Galactica. Nikki had come to ESP
25:36
out of curiosity and stayed out of conviction.
25:40
Nikki was charming, quirky, and articulate, but
25:43
she was also hungry, not for fame, but for meaning.
25:47
Like Allison, she found Nexium's language intoxicating.
25:50
She quickly moved from student to coach, helping
25:53
open new centers and leading trainings across
25:55
North America. She and Allison became fast friends.
25:59
They traveled together, hosted workshops, and
26:02
even shared lodging in Clifton Park during intensives.
26:05
In public, they were close. In private, they
26:08
were committed. Not just to each other, but to
26:12
him. The three women, Allison, Lauren, and Nikki,
26:16
began orbiting Keith in tighter and tighter circles.
26:20
They weren't his lovers, not openly, but they
26:22
were loyal in a way that transcended romance.
26:25
He spoke to them about ethics, female empowerment,
26:28
and the dangers of emotional reactivity. He said,
26:32
quote, Women have been enslaved by society for
26:34
generations, but some of you are ready to become
26:37
masters of yourselves. End quote. It sounded
26:41
empowering. It sounded progressive. It sounded
26:44
true. They listened, they nodded, and they surrendered.
26:48
Not in one dramatic moment, but in a thousand
26:51
subtle ones. Keith never issued direct commands.
26:55
He made suggestions. Would you be willing to
26:58
try something? Could you explore this feeling
27:01
more deeply? What if you could build something
27:03
extraordinary together? Each woman heard what
27:07
she needed to hear and each in her own way began
27:10
preparing for something none of them fully understood
27:13
yet. But there were signs. Allison began working
27:16
on new ethical commitment workshops specifically
27:19
for women. Lauren helped her refine the language.
27:22
Nikki offered logistical support. The workshops
27:25
focused on themes like obedience, discipline,
27:28
vulnerability, and the abandonment of victimhood.
27:32
It was sold as empowerment, but it was setting
27:34
the stage for compliance. Keith praised their
27:37
efforts. He said they were helping birth, a new
27:41
feminine archetype, that the world needed women
27:43
who could lead without ego, serve without resentment,
27:47
love without attachment. He'd say, quote, True
27:50
strength comes from choosing your role freely,
27:53
even if that role is submission." And it was
27:57
in that space, in that philosophical frame, that
28:00
the line between service and subjugation began
28:03
to blur. Around this time, new behavioral patterns
28:06
emerged. Allison stopped dating outside the group.
28:10
She started limiting time with anyone not on
28:12
path. She submitted more frequent ethics reports.
28:16
She began consulting with Keith before making
28:18
significant decisions. professional, financial,
28:21
and personal. Nicky and Lauren followed similar
28:24
patterns. Their outer lives narrowed. Their inner
28:27
lives were consumed by the mission. And slowly,
28:31
privately, Heath began testing boundaries. He
28:34
invited Allison to explore the concept of radical
28:36
vulnerability. He asked Lauren to journal about
28:40
transcending emotional ego. He told Nicky that
28:43
true leadership required being beyond morality.
28:46
Each suggestion came wrapped in philosophy. Each
28:49
test came with praise, and each step deeper felt
28:52
like elevation. None of the women saw themselves
28:55
as manipulated. They saw themselves as disciples
28:58
of something greater. And when Keith began floating
29:01
the idea of a new initiative, something private,
29:04
something elite, they didn't flinch. They leaned
29:08
in. He said it wouldn't be for everyone, only
29:12
for the most committed, only for those willing
29:14
to confront themselves completely. He called
29:17
it a game at first. then a path, then a sacrifice.
29:22
And the women he whispered this to, Allison,
29:25
Lauren, Nikki, felt honored. Not alarmed, not
29:29
afraid, honored. They had passed the tests, earned
29:34
the trust, and soon they would be asked to prove
29:37
it in ways they never imagined. 659 a .m. Talking
29:49
about branding in the world So I think Doing
29:57
the actual brand in an orderly fashion each of
30:01
the seven strokes having a certain ritualization
30:05
maybe each of the strokes has something that's
30:19
said with them and maybe repeat it after the
30:25
stroke is done. So like somebody says the thing
30:30
while the stroke is being done and then the person
30:32
that's getting it done repeats it afterwards?
30:35
Well, I don't know, yeah. You guys come up with
30:36
something and propose it to me. Okay. Well, because
30:39
you've done it, so what would have been most
30:42
meaningful, deep... surrendering, focusing for
30:46
you. I think probably having it whispered in
30:49
my ear and then me repeating it out loud. And
30:52
then having it whispered in my ear and then me
30:53
repeating it out loud. Well ask the others, it's
30:56
not all you. Oh, I thought you were asking me.
30:59
No, I said all of you guys who've gone through
31:01
it. Yes, okay. I understand that it's not just
31:09
me. I'm sweating. Do you really understand that?
31:16
How deeply? See? There you go. So it wasn't the,
31:24
I'm sorry, or oh no, it's not. I thought you
31:31
were asking me. That would be a great narcissist
31:35
poster. I thought you were asking me, or I thought
31:38
you were talking about me. So I Don't know is
31:49
that all is that quite enough? No, I think you
31:53
guys can come up with an outline of it and Now
31:59
Mike it ideally it would be that if it's the
32:02
same Starting now, but if we have to change it,
32:06
it's not The end of the world, but I want you
32:09
to come up with something I'm trying to think
32:11
of my schedule very busy for me to actually go
32:14
through it it might be a little difficult but
32:21
the other thing is you guys did it and you weren't
32:27
completely nude because you had a outsider and
32:31
a guy doing it whoever do you think the person
32:36
who's being branded should be completely nude
32:38
and sort of held to the table like a sort of
32:41
almost like a sacrifice I don't know if that
32:44
That's a feeling of submission, you know? It
33:01
also of course videoing it and videoing it from
33:08
different angles or whatever gives collateral.
33:18
so Probably should be a more vulnerable position
33:23
for the thing Hang on the back leg slightly for
33:28
a leg spread straight like being feet being held
33:31
to the side of the table Hands probably above
33:33
the head being held almost like tied down like
33:35
a sacrificial whatever And the person should
33:44
ask to be branded By 2010, Alice and Mack no
33:51
longer lived in two worlds. She lived in one.
33:55
Nexium. Smallville was still airing, but it had
33:57
shifted into its final seasons. On screen, Chloe
34:01
Sullivan was a hacker, a fighter, a truth -teller.
34:04
Off screen, Alice was becoming something else
34:07
entirely. A servant of the mission. Structured
34:10
and obedient. Deeply loyal to Keith Ranieri.
34:13
She moved to Clifton Park full -time. The townhouse
34:16
she stayed in was simple, shared, and surrounded
34:19
by other NXIVM members. It was walking distance
34:21
from the training center, a few blocks from Keith's
34:24
preferred volleyball court, and just down the
34:26
road from the home where he held late night salons.
34:29
Her days were no longer hers. Wake early, meditate,
34:33
journal, attend trainings, prepare coaching reports,
34:37
submit reflections, meet with Lauren Saltzman
34:39
for feedback, return home, sleep lightly, begin
34:43
again. There were no weekends, no days off. Only
34:47
progress. She stopped wearing makeup, dressed
34:50
in muted colors, ate NXIVM's restricted diet,
34:53
mostly steamed vegetables, legumes, and fruit.
34:56
She lost weight. She stopped returning calls
34:58
from her agents, from old friends, and from family.
35:03
Her social world contracted. Her spiritual world
35:06
expanded. To those inside, this was purification.
35:10
To those outside, it was disappearance. But Allison
35:13
didn't feel lost. She felt purposeful. The further
35:17
she stepped into NXIVM's core, the more praise
35:19
she received. Keith told her she had the rare
35:22
ability to surrender ego in service of truth.
35:25
Nancy Salzman called her a node of transformation.
35:29
And with every compliment, Allison folded deeper
35:32
into the system. She began training others, not
35:35
just in rational inquiry, but in devotion. Her
35:38
language turned softer, more abstract. She spoke
35:41
about freedom through structure, choice through
35:44
alignment. love through accountability. She kept
35:47
a small circle of confidants, mostly women. Among
35:50
them, Lauren, Nikki Klein, and a few others Keith
35:53
referred to as promising carriers of the path.
35:57
Each was bound by a shared sense of responsibility,
36:00
secrecy, and mission. Together, they began working
36:03
on something new. Keith hadn't named it yet,
36:06
but he had introduced the idea slowly, like he
36:09
always did. Not as a directive, but as a challenge.
36:13
He'd asked them, quote, What would you be willing
36:16
to give up to discover who you really are?" Then,
36:21
privately to Allison, he'd say, quote, You're
36:24
capable of more than this structure allows. The
36:27
curriculum is just the beginning. What if you
36:30
helped build the next level? The suggestion came
36:35
at a time when Allison was searching for greater
36:37
purpose. She'd coached dozens of women. She'd
36:40
held hundreds of EM sessions. But lately, she'd
36:43
begun to ask, What's now? What's next? Keith
36:47
offered her that next step, something exclusive,
36:50
something elite. He spoke about commitment, about
36:54
building a circle of integrity, about a group
36:57
of women who would not only embody Nextium's
36:59
ideals, but become them. He said the path would
37:03
be hard, demanding, even painful. But you, Allison,
37:08
he said, you were born for this. Meanwhile, her
37:12
coaching intensified. She was assigned to ethically
37:15
develop new recruits, often young, idealistic
37:18
women who were just beginning their nexium journey.
37:20
She watched how they responded to the language,
37:23
to the structure. She made notes, passed observations
37:26
to Lauren. Sometimes those women would receive
37:29
direct invitations from Keith. Other times, they'd
37:32
be deemed not ready. Everything was data. And
37:37
then, another test. Keith asked her to reconsider
37:39
her relationship to privacy. If you truly have
37:42
nothing to hide, he said, why protect the illusion
37:45
of separation? He asked her to confess past secrets.
37:49
She did. He asked her to identify her greatest
37:51
fears. She did. He asked her to write them down.
37:55
And she did. These weren't idle reflections.
37:59
They became collateral, a word Keith used sparingly,
38:03
but intentionally. The idea was that accountability
38:06
should be enforced. Thus, spiritual evolution
38:09
required leverage. that people only changed when
38:12
the stakes were real. Allison accepted the logic.
38:16
She submitted intimate letters, personal photos,
38:19
emotional confessions. She believed it was a
38:22
gesture of strength. She didn't yet know what
38:25
that gesture would become. And she wasn't the
38:27
only one. Lauren submitted her own collateral.
38:31
Nikki did too. So did others. Each convinced
38:34
that trust was the highest form of ethics. There
38:38
were whispers of a new group forming. Something
38:40
deeper than ESP. Not a class. Not a course. A
38:45
bond. A vow. A sisterhood. And Keith, smiling
38:48
in the background, offered only riddles. True
38:52
power is born of obedience. Sacrifice is the
38:55
gateway to truth. Some women are meant to serve
38:57
a higher calling. And in that soft chorus of
39:01
praise and mystery, the final pieces clicked
39:03
into place. Allison felt prepared. Not scared.
39:07
Not confused. But prepared. She had surrendered
39:11
her doubts, her rhythms, her independence, and
39:14
what she gained in return was a role unlike anything
39:16
she'd ever known. She wasn't Chloe anymore, she
39:20
wasn't Alice in the Actress, she wasn't even
39:22
Alice in the Coach. She was something new, and
39:26
in the next chapter, she'd be asked to prove
39:28
it. By 2011, there was no more acting for Alice
39:33
in Mac, not in the professional sense and not
39:35
in the personal one. Her life was NXIVM. Her
39:38
thoughts were nexium. Her relationships, routines,
39:41
and sense of identity had all been rewired through
39:44
the work. Heath Raniere's vast lattice of self
39:47
-inquiry, ethics, and obedience. She had been
39:50
transformed, but she wasn't finished. Heath had
39:54
promised a higher purpose, something that would
39:56
push her, and a small group of carefully chosen
39:58
women, into the next evolution of devotion. It
40:02
wasn't for everyone, just the elite. Just those
40:05
who had proven their selflessness through discipline,
40:07
vulnerability, and sacrifice. Allison had passed
40:11
every test, and now she was being invited into
40:14
something private, something sacred. She was
40:17
told it was a sisterhood, a secret society of
40:20
women devoted to empowerment, growth, and absolute
40:23
trust. But it came with conditions. Radical conditions.
40:28
Each member would offer collateral, a term that
40:31
sounded businesslike but in practice meant deeply
40:34
personal confessions, embarrassing photos, and
40:37
legally compromising documents. It would be held
40:40
indefinitely, not as punishment, they were told,
40:43
but as proof of commitment. Once accepted, each
40:46
woman would be assigned a master, and she in
40:49
turn could eventually become a master herself,
40:52
bringing in her own slaves. But the terms were
40:56
never called out as abuse. They were reframed.
40:59
The power dynamic wasn't coercion. It was consensual
41:03
accountability. The pain wasn't punishment. It
41:06
was emotional transcendence. And Allison, like
41:10
Lauren Saltzman, like Nikki Klein, accepted the
41:13
logic. They believed they were building something
41:15
that would heal centuries of female insecurity
41:18
and subjugation. They weren't becoming victims.
41:23
They were becoming vessels. The rituals began.
41:32
Secret ceremonies. Branding sessions. Vows. A
41:36
chain of command enforced not by force, but by
41:40
belief. And the group had a name. It wasn't spoken
41:43
aloud in public. It wasn't written in the training
41:46
binders. But inside the circle, it carried weight.
41:51
DOS. Short for Dominus Obsequius Sororium. In
41:58
Latin, Master over the Slave Women. I'm Rick
42:09
Welch and this is of Sashes and Slaves.