Latest / Gorls Unplugged / Manifesting our best year yet | Reading goals, vision boards and keeping motivation ✨💫

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Manifesting our best year yet | Reading goals, vision boards and keeping motivation ✨💫 · Gorls Unplugged

0:00
Welcome back to Girls Unplugged. We know we are way out of
0:03
January now, but we really wanted to talk about goals,
0:07
personal, professional, bookish, because you kind of have this
0:12
momentum at the beginning of the year and everyone feels this
0:14
pressure and it gets to this time of year and people tend to
0:17
feel like they failed if they haven't accomplished everything
0:20
that they thought that they wanted to on New Year's Eve.
0:23
We thought now would be a really good time to talk about it as
0:25
we're heading into nearly a new season, hopefully some brighter
0:29
days, there's warmer weather. We thought it'd be a good time
0:32
to reset and talk about it, yeah.
0:33
And both me and Tor, we're really into goal setting
0:37
productivity, but also like spirituality and astrology.
0:41
So we like to blend the two together so that it's not so
0:43
focused. On perfectionism, yeah, right.
0:46
Although I am a bit of a perfectionist but.
0:49
Me too. I can be hard on myself, but I
0:52
do feel like last year and coming into this year, I think
0:56
one thing I've started to do quite well is set goals over
1:00
resolutions and constantly reassess what those are.
1:04
Because it's not realistic that you set a goal on New Year's Eve
1:07
and it's going to happen overnight or you know that that
1:10
goal is going to stay the same. Because ultimately life happens
1:13
and things change, and that's OK.
1:16
Yeah. And so that's what we're going
1:17
to dive into today properly. OK.
1:20
So why do we think that there's such a pressure and such a grip
1:25
on us in the New year to set these resolutions or goals and
1:29
act as, as if everything has to be decided within the first four
1:32
weeks? And I will specifically add to
1:34
that, that actually I feel like me and you decide it even
1:37
earlier than that. We decide in November or
1:38
December, don't we? So why do we think that is?
1:42
I just think it's like the natural way of things, isn't it?
1:46
A new year naturally feels like you're thinking an end of one
1:50
era. I'm going into a new one, so I
1:53
do. I genuinely believe it's healthy
1:55
to set goals for yourself for a year because if you're not
1:58
thinking about where you want to move forward or how you want to
2:04
move forward or what else you want out of life, you're just
2:07
standing still. And to me personally, this isn't
2:10
the case for everyone. But that isn't really what life
2:13
is about. And I just think, I actually
2:15
think it is, like I said, quite a healthy thing to do that.
2:19
What I think is unhealthy is people's ideals of how quickly
2:25
it's going to happen and on social media how people lie to
2:30
make it look like they're already accomplishing all of
2:32
these things. Albeit maybe some are, but
2:34
realistically people make it look like it's easy and nothing,
2:41
nothing that you ever really want in life should ever be that
2:44
easy. Realistic.
2:45
Yeah, that's so true. Nothing worth having comes.
2:47
Easily, yes, they say. Is that the same?
2:48
That's what I was trying to get to.
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In my brain, See, I got it. The telepathic lives are.
2:53
Working. I fully agree with everything
2:56
you said there. However, I do think the real
2:58
strong element of perfectionism has come from somewhere.
3:03
I'm going to put my marketing brain on here, but I think that
3:08
so in marketing, the fitness industry and the health industry
3:11
has a lot to answer for here because as marketing has
3:16
progressed throughout, you know, maybe the last 20 years, there
3:18
is a huge push in those industries on start the new
3:22
year, change your body, get into the gym, start a gym
3:26
subscription, buy all these supplements, buy all this.
3:28
It's the perfect time to do it. New year, new year, right?
3:31
That's the motto. And I think that has definitely
3:34
subconsciously gone into people's brains in other areas
3:37
of their life outside of fitness, Wellness and health.
3:41
And we know from social media that that fitness and Wellness
3:44
can be some of the most toxic industries anyway.
3:47
You know, there's so much misinformation or whatever.
3:50
So I definitely think that comes into it a little bit.
3:52
But I saw a video last year, actually in November, and it was
3:57
this woman on Instagram. I really can't remember her
3:59
name, but I think it's something like the Scottish witch.
4:02
And she does like witchcraft and paganism and she had done this
4:07
video that's like, why do we decide our New Year's
4:11
resolutions and goals in the dead of winter when it's should
4:15
be a time for self-care and relaxing?
4:19
And she was saying that what she does, and it's something to do
4:23
with paganism in general is like they set it just before in
4:27
November and they do 12 days of 12 intentions.
4:30
That's a good idea. I'll have to try and find the
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video and link it below so you guys can watch it.
4:35
But it was a really lovely, like reassuring way to look at
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things. Felt very, it felt like what we
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think of it being just a healthy thing to do rather than
4:45
perfectionism and focus. So I did like that.
4:49
But yeah, I think I think some of the the stuff we we see in
4:53
the perfectionism does come from social media and industries
4:56
within that space. Here's the thing for me is I
5:01
think sometimes that's a good thing because I think you need
5:05
to be striving for something and I don't think you need to strive
5:09
for perfectionism. It gives.
5:10
You almost a boost of motivation.
5:12
It does, yeah. Like I'm like, I want what I
5:14
don't have kind of person, which not everybody is like that, but
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I do like that having that more like inspirational context.
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I'm like, well, like, yeah, actually I can have that.
5:26
I can do these things. I just need to, I need to work
5:30
on how I'm getting there. But I think what's changed for
5:33
me over the last few years, which I think is really
5:36
important, is resolutions are just not even a word in my brain
5:41
anymore. Like coming into the new year is
5:44
like a goal setting exercise. And the last few years that
5:48
process has gradually like increased in terms of how
5:52
intricate it's become. And like a few years ago was
5:56
when I started doing vision boards.
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And originally it was all just like very aesthetic and some
6:00
really kind of like long winded like goals of things that I
6:03
thought that I really wanted. And then last year it was more
6:08
like a vision board and like a short plan of things I want.
6:12
This year it was like, right, these are like the six areas of
6:17
my like main areas of my life. These are the things that I want
6:20
for my health. These are the things that I want
6:22
for my career and my finances. These are the things I want for
6:24
my relationships and my family. And I really kind of like broke
6:28
it down. And then I also sat down with
6:30
Kyle, like as a couple and a family, like, what do we want?
6:35
And not only what do we want, how are we going to make that
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happen? Like very, my, my keyword coming
6:42
into this year was intention. Like everything I do this year,
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I want it to be very intentional.
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And I just, yeah, I just think it's a it's a positive thing,
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but it's OK to reassess, rebalance with yourself
6:57
constantly If, if something changes.
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That was a real waffle. Sorry I was so passionate about
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it though because I do genuinely believe if you want to go
7:09
anywhere in life you need to be striving for something and and
7:14
planning. For it I 100% agree I think
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that's where our brain types are both very similar is like we
7:19
like to work towards things and have an ambition and what have
7:24
you. But I do think it depends on
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what type of person you are. Like for some, for some people,
7:32
they are content in where they are and that works for them.
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And so then setting goals is pointless because if you're
7:40
happy where you are already and you don't really want to change
7:43
anything, you're just adding kind of unnecessary stuff onto
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your plate. But like my whole brain type and
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I'm like this in any area, whether it's work, personal life
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is all about learning something new.
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I have to be learning something new or doing something new.
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Otherwise I feel unfulfilled. Whether that's creatively or a
8:01
sex skill, it's not creative, whatever it may be.
8:04
I really thought you said sex skill then.
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That too. I'm open to improving my own sex
8:09
skills, guys, but yeah, like that's why I think goals and
8:15
stuff works so well for us. Yeah, it's because it does give
8:19
us that guidance and that what's new?
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What are we working towards? Yeah, I don't believe that.
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Everybody needs to have goals, but I what I do believe in is
8:31
people that win, that their life isn't going anywhere, but they
8:34
don't do anything about it. That infuriates me to no end.
8:38
That is my biggest book bet. All the kind of people who
8:41
consistently ask for advice on the same topic, but they never
8:44
take. It never take it.
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Do you know what one of my most toxic traits I feel like this
8:49
might be one of my biggest red flags.
8:51
When the world went crazy at Molly Mae for saying we all have
8:55
the same 24 hours in a day. Or when Kim Kardashian said said
8:59
get your fucking ass up and work.
9:01
If you want something, get your ass up and fucking work for it.
9:04
And the world went fucking mentor at them.
9:06
Like you're so privileged. I'm like, fucking yeah, bitch,
9:10
they are so right. Like I genuinely, that's how I
9:13
feel. I'm like, we do all have the
9:14
same 24 hours in a day. Like you can't.
9:19
Obviously some people have privilege, absolutely.
9:21
Like some people are more privileged than others.
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But if you really fucking want something, you'll make it
9:26
happen. If you want it bad enough you'll
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fucking put in the hours and graft.
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For it, yeah, the overall message, I do agree with.
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The delivery and the people delivering it, I think is where
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I was. Like, I think Molly May herself
9:41
probably even regret saying that one, given what she's like on
9:44
her Current TV show. She did apologise for it, she
9:47
did. She was super young as well, to
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be fair. She was like.
9:50
Yeah, and I feel like it was harsh because I we do all have
9:53
the same day, 4 hours in a day. Do you know what you mean?
9:56
Yeah, but I bet you any money since she's had kids, she
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doesn't. Feel that way any Probably
10:01
probably not, but sometimes I feel like.
10:04
I never want to sound like egotistical, but I do think
10:07
people that say like parents are like I don't have time.
10:10
I don't have time to do that. I personally then feel like
10:13
you're fucking. That's not true.
10:15
You don't want to make time for it and I think that is the key
10:19
difference. But you are a machine like guys,
10:23
not everyone is like tall. Like this bitch is crazy.
10:26
She gets something like 5:00 AM. And not all the time.
10:29
A lot of the time she literally. Said today I drive in that
10:33
environment and that's why. But that's what I mean.
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That's like you're super power. I could, yeah.
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I could never. I would.
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I would look like a skeleton if I did.
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And the amount of things you do, honestly.
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I just but that's what I mean, like, and I don't I don't AI
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don't expect people to be like me.
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Some people would be like your mentor, like why do you do this
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to yourself? Yeah, but this is where I
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thrive. But that's what I mean,
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everybody does have the same 24 hours in a day.
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And you choose to do with it what you wish.
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I choose to be productive. I choose to make my time work
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for me and I'm, you know, pretty smart about like the way in
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which I do things through the day to be like as time effective
11:16
as possible. And that's what I mean by you
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choose not to have time to do things.
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Having kids isn't and a job, isn't it an excuse to and not go
11:28
after something else that you want in life because you could,
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most people could make time for it one way or another, but it's
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all about, you know, prioritizing.
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Sometimes you're sacrificing one thing for another thing.
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People are probably going to come after me like they did
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Molly and Kim, but that's just, that's just personally how I
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feel about it. Yeah, no, it makes sense.
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One thing I picked up on that you said in that was resolutions
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aren't in your vocab. That's not something you do.
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You do vision boards. And I feel like it's a good
12:00
point for us to dive into that a little bit because we both do
12:03
this. We do vision boards rather than
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New Year's resolutions. And I think that is a better way
12:09
to do it, playing into that, focusing on Wellness rather than
12:14
perfection. So talk me through why you do
12:18
vision boards over resolutions and how you do yours.
12:21
So I think I said before, like my vision boards used to just be
12:25
like Pinterest. What did I think looked really
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aesthetic? And I just used to like throw it
12:29
together. Now my vision, like this year my
12:33
vision board came from a place of I actually worked through my
12:36
goals first, I think like I said before, broken down into like 6
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categories, what I wanted within each of those categories.
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And then from there, I found things on Pinterest again still
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as to what fits in with those goals and then made it into a
12:55
nice vision board for me, the purposes of vision board.
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And I have it in front of me all the time.
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It's the screensaver on my Mac. It's the screensaver on my
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phone. I am a manifesto.
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And I'm, I mean, superstitious, not the right word, spiritual
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like I am. If I see 1111, if I see double
13:12
numbers, I will, unless I'm literally in the middle of an
13:15
important call or meeting or something.
13:17
Even if I was having a conversation with Bronte and I
13:19
was like, it's 1111, I would stop and for 30 seconds like
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think about my vision board and manifest.
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And I think that is the importance of having a vision
13:28
board. Like if you can't imagine
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yourself as yourself in that future life, that probably isn't
13:35
actually the life that you want or really are going after.
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And I think that's the important of a importance of a vision
13:42
board for me personally. And I do think like I said,
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vision boards need to come from a place of things that you
13:49
actually want, not this kind of like magical made-up idea of
13:54
this would be my perfect life. It needs to be.
13:57
Somewhat rooted in realism. Exactly.
13:59
Yeah, you said it better than I could.
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I completely agree. So funnily enough we didn't plan
14:06
this at all but me and Tor have both changed the way we do our
14:09
vision boards this year in the same way.
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So mine also fits into categories this year which it
14:14
never normally does. I've done vision boards for
14:17
about four years. Resolutions just never worked
14:20
for me because I would just break them within a month.
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I don't have discipline when it comes to stopping myself doing
14:27
things. So if I made a resolution, it
14:29
was like don't XYZ and there would be like no willpower
14:35
within me to actually do it. And so I'd break it within a
14:37
month. Then I'd feel guilty and it
14:40
would just spiral vision boards. However, I'm a visual person all
14:44
around, hence why I love, you know, films and art and
14:47
whatever, but they just work for me better.
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I normally like Tor, would just do like Pinterest images and
14:55
kind of it would all be quite largely dark, not really
14:58
specifically focused. It would just be a general
15:01
overview of a life I wanted whether that'd be five years, 10
15:04
years, one year. This year I did change it in the
15:07
same way. I've got categories.
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The categories are like finance, health, aesthetics, trips,
15:17
things like that, and then I have like 1-2 or three goals
15:21
within them, depending on how realistic they are.
15:23
Some are a bit more difficult, some are more attainable, but
15:26
they're all stuff that I could probably at least do in three
15:29
years. Yeah, there's nothing that's
15:30
crazy out there. And I've found that really
15:33
helpful this year. And I have.
15:36
This was intentional. I have copied touring this year
15:39
in making it my laptop screensaver and my phone
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screensaver. Because something I used to do
15:44
that I was guilty of was I'd make it and then it'd be outside
15:47
out of mind because I'm not one of those people that likes to
15:50
make them physically like and then stick them on your wall.
15:54
I don't like. It's a lot of money wasted by
15:55
magazines. Yeah, but also, like, I don't
16:00
like having, you know, your vision board on the wall in your
16:03
house for everyone else to see. And George, because I don't
16:06
necessarily want everyone to know what I'm working.
16:08
Towards so I actually saw this woman on I was either watching a
16:12
podcast episode or something on Instagram and this woman
16:16
actually had hers in her bathroom so that when people
16:20
came round they could see like what she and, but she felt so
16:25
strongly about it. And I was like actually like,
16:28
depending on who you are and what you like, like it makes
16:30
sense. Like then you see it and people
16:32
see it and ask you questions about it and.
16:35
Yeah, I think it depends. I just think it depends on the
16:37
type of person you are. Depends what type of person you
16:39
are, but I am a bit superstitious in the way that
16:41
people might wish you I'll without you realizing.
16:45
Oh, I do agree. Kind of puts it out there for
16:47
them to do that. It's like that TikTok, that Sam
16:50
that's like nobody will support you more than a TikTok friend.
16:56
But it is so true. Like the support that you get
16:59
online sometimes is completely different from the support that
17:03
from people that have been around you like your whole life.
17:05
I've got friends I've had for like 1520 years who've never
17:08
liked a single one of my TikTok. Videos.
17:10
Or Instagram posts or. Follow the podcast.
17:13
And then there's there's like tours best me and it's like in
17:16
our podcast pictures, like I get more likes from them.
17:20
No, but seriously, it's so true. And like, that's why, you know,
17:22
there are certain people that I would go through my vision board
17:25
with. I would happily take you through
17:26
it. I've been through it with Polly
17:28
Jasmine, you know, because they were making them at the same
17:30
time because I trust them. But there'd be, you know,
17:33
certain people who I would feel like even if they were still a
17:37
good person, but subconsciously might be like, I don't know,
17:40
she's, she's. Not so unrealistic.
17:42
She's not going to do that anymore and I'd just be like, I
17:44
can't even be arsed with you looking at it.
17:46
Yeah, I'll keep it myself. And I just think if you get that
17:49
vibe, that's the money like vibe in your life.
17:52
I feel like most of the time it's family.
17:55
I feel like it's family and I can't get rid of.
18:00
Them Oh my God, that's so funny. But I think the I personally,
18:04
the important thing to me with setting goals is being able to
18:10
deal with changes. Like if something comes along to
18:13
impact a goal or changes the way that you visually see that
18:18
happening in your mind, you have to be able to pivot with it or
18:21
be able to say, OK, things haven't gone quite how I thought
18:25
that they were going to go so far this year.
18:28
But we move, you know, we reassess and we start again.
18:33
One thing I've done this year, which I think is really
18:35
important is check insurance. It's like I'm holding myself
18:39
accountable to the things that I want from my life.
18:41
I have a, you guys probably would have heard me talk about
18:44
her before. I have a best friend slash wife
18:47
slash soulmate. Her name is Amy.
18:50
And we have a monthly checking call this year at the end of
18:54
every month. And it, we call it actually
18:57
calling it a monthly achievements call or meeting
19:00
where we're actually just going to stop and step back and not
19:02
even like, you know, beat ourselves up about our goals.
19:06
What have we done this year that or, or this month that we really
19:10
wanted or that is an achievement.
19:12
And this month for her that will look like she's been talking
19:13
about decorating her living room for like 2 years.
19:16
She's finally ordered a new sofa.
19:18
So she's now going to get rid of hers and start decorating.
19:21
What you should do when you meet, oh, you should do it with
19:23
her in person. You should do that achievement
19:25
cake that people do on TikTok and you just put a picture of a
19:29
sofa. In for Amy.
19:30
But I just think actually those things stop stopping and taking
19:34
a beat for instead of beating yourself up because you haven't
19:37
lost the you know, I haven't lost the 5 lbs I wanted to lose
19:41
in January. No, but I've done this and I've
19:44
done that and you've done that. I just think that that is a much
19:47
nicer way of keeping momentum. Yeah, I feel like that's
19:52
something I'm not very good at. Yeah.
19:54
I mean, I'm very much a person that focuses on failure anyway.
19:57
Like since I didn't even go to my.
19:58
I am too. Uni graduation because I was 1
20:01
Markov for 1st and I was fuming it myself.
20:04
I am the biggest perfectionist in the world.
20:06
I got distinction distinction merit at college instead of
20:09
distinction distinction distinction.
20:11
So I cried when I got the results, and you know what I
20:13
mean. I am horrendous for it.
20:16
Right. Maybe I need to put a monthly
20:17
achievements for them with you as well?
20:19
Yeah. Every podcast filming session,
20:21
I'm gonna make Bronte check in with herself.
20:23
That's something good she's done for herself.
20:24
But I won't see it as good, That's the thing.
20:26
So I won't even say I've done this, this and this.
20:28
I'll just be like. Mindset thing we're.
20:29
Training it, I know. It's really.
20:32
I am much better than I used to be.
20:34
I had to have therapy for it guys.
20:35
I was that bad. I do get it because I feel like
20:38
I can be the same. I will beat myself up for the
20:41
craziest thing. But that's why I feel like I'm
20:43
trying to change the way I do things this year.
20:45
And I feel like that's why this episode is important because
20:49
people do get to this time of year and they think we're
20:52
already two months into the year.
20:54
We're heading into spring. I haven't lost the weight I
20:57
wanted to lose. I haven't been into the class as
20:58
I said I wanted to do. I haven't quit smoking like all
21:01
these things, but it's just a month.
21:05
Yeah. You're still only two months
21:06
into the year. There's still, there's still a
21:08
whole year. There's still so much you can do
21:10
to change what is happening right now instead of saying it
21:14
didn't happen already. I'm giving up.
21:16
It's stop, Reassess and see what is working for you, what isn't
21:19
working for you and change it. And sometimes you just need to
21:22
break things down into baby steps as well.
21:25
If a goal feels unmanageable, it's like, right, what can I do
21:28
to begin that goal? And then how do I progress it?
21:31
And then how do I reach the finish line?
21:33
Because some goals you know, simple and quick and easy, like
21:37
reading a specific book you want to read.
21:39
But other goals take a bit more preparation and it can be
21:41
daunting to try and figure out how to break them into
21:44
manageable steps. Especially if you do have a
21:46
brain type that's like anxiety, ADHD, or anything like that
21:50
where overwhelm is super. Easy and you want everything to
21:52
happen now. I think one of my biggest things
21:55
I've really learnt about myself and my ADHD this month
21:59
specifically is my addiction to momentum.
22:04
Well, because ADHD is addicted to the dopamine, right?
22:07
Yeah. It is.
22:08
And I just, I've never really thought about it like that, but
22:13
I am addicted to that. Like constantly something
22:16
happening around me and you have to, you know, just bring it down
22:23
sometimes and remember it can't always be like that.
22:25
I think when I, you know, a few years ago when my biggest thing
22:29
was to lose weight, it was so daunting because I felt like
22:33
there was so much weight I wanted to lose.
22:35
And every time I got a month into a new plan and I, you know,
22:38
barely moved a pound, I was feeling disheartened.
22:41
And last year was the first year I think I really broke it down
22:45
into baby steps. I read Atomic Habits and that
22:49
that is all about being just making your Day 1% better than
22:54
the day before 1%. That's all you need to do, do it
22:57
better than the day before and I think that really started to
23:02
change my mindset. I think that's something I
23:05
recommend for a lot of people to do that want to make change in
23:09
the life and start reading a bit of non fiction.
23:11
Surprising how if you find some good books then I would
23:14
recommend Atomic Habits. I highly recommend.
23:17
I think everybody on the planet should read The Dose Effect by
23:21
TJ Power. It is so powerful, so
23:25
transformative, so simple. It's not really scientific.
23:29
Everything is really like, I don't want to say dumbed down,
23:32
but it is. Digest.
23:33
It's so easy to digest. There's small challenges in
23:37
every chapter. Yeah.
23:39
Yeah, I that's actually funnily enough, one of my goals for this
23:42
year is to read some non fiction, specifically finance
23:45
books for me because that's where I want to improve in one
23:48
of my life areas. But I am going to generally read
23:51
more nonfiction. So OK, so we've talked a lot
23:53
about the actual goals and resetting yourself, not beating
23:58
yourself up, but what do you actually want more of this year?
24:02
Mine is kind of contradictory to what we've been saying in the
24:06
sense that this year I actually do want a lot of discipline.
24:09
And, but the reason for that and the reason I'm striving for like
24:12
real set goals and hard work this year is because I didn't
24:15
feel like I did that in 25 and 24.
24:18
And that was fair. I think I just, it was right of
24:21
me not to focus so heavily on certain goals because I had a
24:24
lot of family things and stuff going on.
24:26
But this year, I really want to be focusing on discipline and,
24:31
you know, better in my career, better in the stuff I'm doing
24:34
outside of my career, getting more steps in, getting more
24:37
exercise, like just striving to generally be a more disciplined,
24:42
productive version of myself. Because last year I was just
24:46
like, all over the place. Yeah.
24:48
Yeah. Really inconsistent.
24:49
Yeah, that's fair enough. I think that that's, I mean,
24:54
everybody wants to do that, no. Yeah, exactly.
24:57
Well, does everyone be modest for no but.
24:59
If everybody who has a brain type A brain, maybe, yeah.
25:04
I feel like I went from like being like a type B person to
25:07
then like a type C to type to a type A like.
25:09
I've always been a bit of both, but now I'm very type A.
25:12
Yeah, I'm, I've always been Type A Monica from Friends.
25:18
I think that. I think that for me, I mean,
25:21
without going too deep into things like I really want like
25:25
my goals, but for me it was more about balance this year.
25:30
And like I said earlier, like about intention, like I just
25:33
want everything I do this year to have a reason behind it and
25:38
to be towards a kind of a higher high purpose isn't really the
25:42
right word, but bigger picture. But exactly.
25:44
And I think something really important to me this year is
25:47
about spending more quality time with my kids.
25:50
I'm with them all the time. I definitely don't need quantity
25:53
of time, but I'm terrible with my phone.
25:57
We just spoke about before. I do a lot like I work, I have
26:01
the kids, I have a full time, very stressful job.
26:04
I'm on the PTA. I have my TikTok accounts, the
26:07
podcast. There's so much and a lot of
26:09
that involved me being on my phone or behind a laptop screen.
26:13
So one of the things Kyle and I just to share a little bit about
26:16
how I'm doing this because I've got a lot of people on it.
26:18
A lot of people are single kid list, but some people might have
26:22
kids. And I think one of the things
26:24
for me this year and how I turned my goal of spending more
26:27
quality time in with my kids into a smart girl, such a HR
26:31
person, was Kyle and I decided that every other Friday we are
26:37
turning into games night at home.
26:40
So our phones go away. We or the kids get to pick a
26:43
game or maybe sometimes we'll do a movie instead of a game, but
26:47
it will be very intentional family time, no phones, no
26:50
screens. And specifically watching a film
26:52
together and spend actively spending that time together so
26:56
that I know, yes, I can't just be phone free.
27:00
That's realistically not what my life is, but it's taking that
27:03
goal and then actually actioning something that you can.
27:07
It's not going to be perfect, we're not.
27:09
Maybe we won't make it happen every single other Friday of the
27:12
year, but it gives us something to work towards and it means the
27:15
kids actually get like really quality time with us.
27:17
I love that because when I was growing up, I did board game
27:20
nights with my cousins and my aunty every Friday, and Whitney,
27:24
Whitney would come too. And even now, my sister's, you
27:27
know, 37, my cousin's 33 or 34, we still meet up at Christmas
27:30
and stuff to do board game days. Oh, that's so nice.
27:33
That's my thing. Like, I just think it's the
27:35
those are the things that you remember as you get older and
27:38
they didn't have a lot of, you know, routine or special things
27:41
like that growing up. And I really want that for my
27:43
kids. And I want to spend less time on
27:46
my phone this year. And that's one of the ways I'm
27:48
making it happen. And plus, kids spend a lot of
27:50
time on screens now, too. Oh my God.
27:52
Compared to what we did, yeah, I.
27:54
Mean I'm funny with the kids with their iPads.
27:56
That's a whole nother fucking story.
27:58
Social media and online gaming is wild now.
28:01
Yeah, it is. OK, so what's one thing you want
28:04
to leave behind from last year? I think just not flapping about
28:12
everything, but constantly trying to do everything.
28:16
It's accepting that sometimes things have to be left behind
28:21
for a little while. And like we were talking about
28:22
the beginning of the episode, sometimes things aren't going to
28:25
go how you plan them in your head.
28:26
Example, beginning the year, I was like, this is the I'm really
28:30
going to focus on my personal social media account and be
28:34
consistent, but slow down with my book talk account a little
28:37
bit because I'd love for that to be where my career goes.
28:42
Instead, randomly in January, I saw a house online and then
28:49
within days my house was being valued, being put up, My house
28:53
was getting put up on the market and trying to buy a new house.
28:56
And that is a lot. It's very like emotionally
28:58
taxing thing. So I've had to take a step back
29:01
and say, well, actually that is taking priority.
29:03
That's something we thought wasn't going to happen for 18
29:05
months, but it's happening now. My social media accounts need to
29:09
take like, I need to take a step back from those.
29:12
And it's about for me, the most important thing is being OK with
29:17
that in my mind. Because what I would do, like
29:19
you were saying earlier, I just beat myself up about it and I
29:22
feel like I'm not doing enough. I need to be kinder to myself
29:25
this year. And whereas I can't do
29:28
absolutely everything and be able to do the things I am doing
29:32
well. So I think that's really
29:33
important for me this year is to be kinder to myself.
29:37
Mine's actually the same. Is it?
29:38
Yeah, exactly the same. Just to be less focused on the
29:42
failures when they do happen because they are inevitable.
29:45
Nothing can ever go smoothly all the time.
29:48
There are things that crop up that you just can't plan for.
29:50
So like last year, that was that.
29:52
One of my family members had a severe stroke, Right.
29:54
You can't plan for that. And people and incidents like
29:57
that have to take precedent over, unfortunately, other
30:00
things that are going on in life.
30:02
So I think for me, mine is to also be more understanding of
30:05
myself if I don't reach those goals or if things are beyond my
30:09
control. And to not see it as a failure
30:13
because, you know, for me, like, social media didn't really go
30:15
how I wanted it to go last year. And there was other things as
30:18
well. But yeah, exactly the same as
30:20
you. Pretty much research 20s.
30:22
Nothing more to add, your Honour.
30:26
So we just started to kind of like briefly touching it.
30:29
We were talking about our social media accounts, but
30:31
professional, creative career goals for the year.
30:34
What are you excited to like pour your energy into?
30:37
Well, I've made one of mine happen.
30:39
Have you? Yeah, yeah.
30:40
One of my goals was to stay at the place I work.
30:43
Oh, OK, yes. And extend the contract.
30:45
Which has just. Happened, it's just happened, so
30:48
I'm really excited as we're filming.
30:49
This. Not when you're watching it,
30:51
yeah, Yeah. Really, really excited about
30:53
that because. That is, I'm so happy for you.
30:56
I work in a place that suits my lifestyle.
30:58
They're very supportive of my health things.
31:01
It's a great job in terms of learning and growth
31:03
opportunities, so I'm really excited that I have been able to
31:07
stay there longer. My other goals involve being
31:11
more analog and less digital, which is a bit of a
31:14
contradiction to the fact we do social media.
31:16
However, in doing social media, I have sort of I inadvertently
31:23
moved away from how I used to do creative hobbies, which was like
31:26
drawing on paper, scrapbooking or just anything like that.
31:30
I used to do in an analogue way. And then I got an iPad with
31:34
Procreate and started to do social media, which is on a
31:37
phone and you know, Canva. And so one of my goals this year
31:41
is to specifically try and get back into those what TikTok
31:44
likes to call grandma hobbies and doing them off screen
31:47
creatively. Because what I feel like is when
31:50
I do things digitally, my creativity is not as good.
31:53
There is something it's so fundamental to creativity about
31:57
putting it on paper. And I actually learned that in a
32:00
writing class last year as well. She was, she the teacher kind of
32:04
talked about this study that said like if you do 15 minutes
32:06
of handwriting, it's like really detrimentally important and
32:10
positive to your writing experience.
32:12
It's like a whole study about it.
32:14
Oh my God. Yeah, so one specific goal
32:16
within that is to do a film journal this year because it
32:20
ties together with my content, but it's still something that's
32:23
physical and tangible and fun. So I've brought myself a little
32:27
eco journal from Etsy and I'm going to like scrapbook all of
32:31
the the films that I've loved this year.
32:33
And then hopefully, you know, at the end of the year, I have this
32:35
kind of inspirational visual diary that I can look through
32:39
that's like, gosh, yeah, I really did love that film.
32:42
You know, look at all these colours that are in it.
32:43
Look at whatever. So that's one creative specific,
32:47
like hobby goal. And then my third one, which is
32:51
also like a more career goal, is to just keep editing books for
32:56
clients and trying to do that more because I really enjoy it.
32:59
The ones that have done have been really super fun.
33:01
I've loved working with my clients, and I just want to keep
33:04
doing it more. Yeah.
33:06
I love this for you. Thanks, so peaceful.
33:08
Yeah, so, Grandma. So grandma.
33:11
So grandma. I mean, editing books isn't
33:13
really very grandma, is it really?
33:15
Let's. Face it, not when they're smarty
33:16
cowboy romances as well, which is the one I'm working on at the
33:18
minute, so. Love this for you.
33:20
What are your goals? I feel like it's a really hard
33:24
1. I feel like professionally, my
33:30
actual, my actual job is going to, it's going to be very busy
33:34
this year. So considering I was kind of
33:37
coming into 2026 thinking, you know, maybe my career was going
33:41
to come more to like the social media side of things, I feel
33:45
like that for me is like a movable goal.
33:49
I need to kind of see how my year goes to see like
33:51
professionally career, what career wise what I'm going to
33:54
do. I would eventually like to.
33:59
I really kind of started to find a rhythm over Christmas with my
34:02
personal TikTok account because I'd always kind of wondered
34:04
where my niche was going to go with that.
34:07
And then I don't know why it all of a sudden really dawned on me
34:10
that the most obvious thing was that I'm an absolute
34:13
productivity junkie. Like I literally get high over
34:17
it. Yeah, so guys, if you like this
34:19
content that we're doing right now, this specific episode, you
34:22
should follow TOR's personal TikTok, because I don't.
34:24
Post on that much at the moment. Well, you kind of do.
34:27
I see your videos a lot but that's what she's basically
34:30
doing more of on there and you'll get loads of helpful
34:32
tips. Yeah, I do just think I, I, it
34:37
was over Christmas as I was kind of like planning to get ready
34:39
for Christmas. It was actually like November
34:41
where I was like, I want to get my house straight decluttered
34:44
ready for Christmas so that I'm not doing it through December so
34:47
I can enjoy the time with my kids.
34:50
And actually as I was doing it, people messaging me going, oh,
34:52
this is really motivating me. I'm going to kind of like get
34:55
my, my space like decluttered or I'm going to clear out this
34:58
drawer or I'm going to clear out my wardrobe.
35:01
And I was like, actually, this makes so much sense for me
35:03
because I am naturally such a like would constantly want to
35:07
declutter my space kind of person.
35:10
And then I think for me creatively pouring my energy
35:15
into something will be if and when I move house this year.
35:18
Like that's where all my my Pinterest boards are running
35:21
white at the minute. Guys like I am obsessed.
35:24
There's so much beige and white like I can't go there's.
35:29
Nothing more exciting there than looking forward to decorating
35:32
your own space. Oh my God, I just, I feel for
35:35
me, moving into our first home was really exciting because I
35:39
was buying a house and I was, you know, 26 years old and it
35:42
was really cool. Now I'm like, this is hopefully,
35:46
unless something wild happens and I win the lottery and this
35:49
is our forever home. And I'm so excited to just like
35:53
get in there and just make it ours.
35:56
So I think that is where my creative energy will be poured
35:59
into this year. And it's very exciting.
36:02
Watch this space. Maybe a maybe a podcast studio.
36:05
Yeah, we hope. OK, so moving on from personal
36:12
professional waffling about all this shit.
36:17
We are bookish girls at heart, so let's move on a little bit to
36:22
our bookish goals of the year. Do you have any specific bookish
36:26
goals this year? I do.
36:27
I have quite a few actually, but I won't go through the more
36:30
because I avoid tears. But one of them is the same
36:33
every year, and that's to diversify my reading.
36:36
I always want to try and read as many different types of authors
36:40
as possible, whether that's gender, race, whatever it may
36:43
be. It's not just one specific
36:45
thing. I want to experience as many
36:47
different types of writing and types of authors as I can.
36:51
And I tried to do it every year and every year at the end of the
36:53
year, I'm never happy with how well I've done with it because
36:56
it's something that's like, in the back of my mind I want to do
37:00
it, but when I'm picking a book, I'm not necessarily thinking
37:02
about it, if that makes sense. So that one is 1.
37:06
And then I also really want to read more indie authors this
37:09
year. That's my biggest goal.
37:13
I feel like it's sometimes hard to do that now.
37:14
They get picked up so quickly by the publishers.
37:17
At the minute it's like, whoa. Yeah, because I had so many on
37:19
my TBR and they've already gone to try publishing, so that is
37:23
definitely true. But I really don't make the most
37:25
of my Kindle Limited subscription.
37:27
And also, there's so many great indie authors out there that
37:30
need and deserve our support. And I'm constantly moaning
37:33
about, you know, the publishing industry and what it's doing
37:36
with books and how they're edited or whatever.
37:40
And this is a great way to kind of change that.
37:43
And then also I miss finding those underrated hidden gems
37:49
because at the minute I'm, you know, I see someone talking
37:52
about Night in the Moth and I'm like, oh, I must read that.
37:55
And then it's Metal Slinger. Oh, I must read that.
37:57
So I'm just reading like the hyped books and I really miss.
38:00
Sometimes they're really worth it though.
38:02
They are really worth it and I will still do that as well, but
38:04
I really miss finding those hidden gems.
38:07
You know, like when I read House the Bane and Blood and Alexis
38:10
Elmen odds, they were tiny. You know, she was still a
38:14
developing indie author and now look at her.
38:16
It's so amazing to see that progression saying Rebecca Mack
38:20
with. It's just so rewarding when
38:22
you've loved an author from the beginning and then they get, you
38:25
know, so successful. Yeah.
38:26
Because you feel the success for them, like they're your friend.
38:28
Yeah, like you couldn't be happier for them. 100% So I
38:32
think those are the key, the key goals for me this year.
38:35
I love this for you. I feel like I don't have too
38:38
many, like I don't have too many bookish goals.
38:42
This year my reading goal has come down yet again in number.
38:46
What is? It 52 -, 52 as.
38:48
Well, I was like one if I can do a book a week.
38:51
I mean, I've already, you know, smashed that for January,
38:54
coincidentally. But I just had a really good
38:57
reading month. But I definitely saw it slow
38:59
down last year. And I don't want to feel
39:01
pressured to read. I just want to read when I want
39:03
to. I want to read.
39:05
I'm definitely back into more fantasy than anything else.
39:10
I don't want to read books just because they're hyped and and I
39:16
want to read what is on my shelves, which I've actually
39:18
already done a really good job of again this year and at the
39:21
end of December. And very one of my biggest goals
39:24
overall for this year is to be more financially conscious.
39:28
I'm so materialistic, I'm not even ashamed to admit it.
39:31
I am, we both are. I love things and I over the
39:34
years I've got myself into a lot of debt because I just think I
39:37
want it and I sort of put it on a credit card and I do this and
39:39
I do that. And this year I'm, I'm not about
39:43
that. And so reading what I have and
39:47
getting rid, I've got rid of Kindle Unlimited, I've got rid
39:49
of Audible. I'm just going to read what I
39:51
have and get things as and when I really need or want them
39:54
instead of the other way around. Yeah, that is probably actually
39:57
one of mine as welcome to Thinkfix.
39:58
My TBI is out of control. Out of control.
40:02
You're telling me? Yeah, and I'm really guilty of
40:05
just like reading everything on Kindle so it doesn't get read,
40:09
but I need to change that drastically.
40:12
And it's so nice reading a physical book.
40:14
I've read a few physical books this this month and I absolutely
40:18
love the actually just picking up the books on my shelves.
40:21
Yeah, I think for me it's because of the way I like to lie
40:24
down when I read. So like the Kindle is a little
40:26
bit easier, but I just need to stop being lazy basically.
40:29
That's why I always have three on the go though, so I always
40:31
have an audio book. Audio book on the go, usually a
40:35
physical book on the go and then always a Kindle so that I can
40:38
read my Kindle in bed if you know.
40:41
So when do you read the physical?
40:44
Like in the mornings if I get up early, do my workout.
40:48
I like my typical morning routine is get up now, workout,
40:53
have a coffee while I read 10 pages of a non fiction book and
40:57
then while I'm waiting for the kids to wake up.
40:58
If I don't want to make too much noise upstairs, then I'll pick
41:01
up my book or maybe on my lunch break or in the evening on the
41:04
sofa when Kyle was watching the golf or the darts or stuff
41:07
that's just like background noise.
41:09
So I feel like I can read at the same time.
41:10
Yes, and sometimes I will still read in bed.
41:12
I think this is where because I only read in bed at night.
41:18
OK, yes, I used to do a lot of audio books when I was like
41:23
cleaning and doing chores and stuff and I don't know how I've
41:26
stopped, so maybe I need to get back into that a bit as well.
41:29
I feel like I don't mind reading a physical book in bed if I'm
41:33
not reading to get to sleep. It's when I'm like, I need the
41:37
lights off and just like my Kindle on the lowest settings so
41:40
that I just kind of like doze off while I'm reading.
41:43
Yeah. So.
41:45
And that's me, guys. Everything is.
41:47
Nice. I just feel like I'm more page
41:48
turnery when I'm reading the physical, but there's something
41:51
different about it. When I do it, I really enjoy it,
41:54
but it's just like I always want to be lying.
41:57
You always want your Kindle in your hand.
41:59
No, I do, I get it, I get it. So, sticking with the Bookish
42:02
Girls for now, What are you giving yourself permission to
42:06
stop doing this year? Reading so much.
42:09
That's my 1 is I'm not feeling the pressure of quantity.
42:13
Because I was. Really struggling last year with
42:16
the fact that my numbers were nowhere near as high as they had
42:19
been in previous years. So like the context 2023, I
42:23
think I read 140, 2020 four, I think I read about 100 and then
42:27
last year was about 70. So it's like.
42:29
Gradually so similar. Yeah.
42:31
And you know, I couldn't tell you why because I've always been
42:34
equally busy apart from there was like 1 section where I
42:37
wasn't working. But I've always had a roughly
42:40
similar amount. And just this year, just last
42:43
year, I guess now I just couldn't reach that number and I
42:46
was getting really frustrated at myself for it.
42:49
But actually it's just not a big deal.
42:51
And so that's what I'm giving myself permission to stop doing
42:55
is just reading so much. Yeah I love this, what about
42:58
you? I mean similar similar ish for
43:01
me. I definitely think I already
43:04
started to do that last year. Stopped punishing myself for not
43:07
not being able to read loads. Think this year it's more about
43:12
accepting the fact that I don't need to post about everything on
43:17
booktop. I think that that part of my
43:21
life I guess is not over. But I just don't feel you know?
43:27
Just 18 months ago, I felt the need to be posting about every
43:30
single book I read on my Booktalk account.
43:34
I don't feel that need anymore. Like, if I've read something I
43:36
really love, I'm going to post about it.
43:38
If I'm doing something interesting, I'm going to post
43:40
about it. However, I don't need to post on
43:43
that all the time to feel like I still need to be part of the
43:47
community. Because the reality is,
43:49
Booktalks massively change from where it was when we joined.
43:53
And to be frank, I feel like the publishing industry and some of
44:03
the teams that work in at most of the big publishers have
44:09
started to make things a bit of like a popularity game and a bit
44:14
uncomfortable at times. And I'm absolutely not about
44:17
that life. So I just feel like I can put
44:22
that away a little bit this year and be comfortable with it and
44:26
not feel like I'm missing out. Yeah, that makes sense.
44:28
So another thing I kind of mentioned earlier is that we're
44:33
both actually very spiritual as well and we love astrology.
44:37
And I definitely think that also plays into our year and our
44:40
goals and how we look at things. This year is obviously Year of
44:45
the Horse. I think it's actually
44:47
technically the year of the Fire Horse.
44:49
No, I didn't know that. I'm a fire sign, so that feels
44:53
like it bodes well. Last year it was Year of the
44:57
Snake, yes. So it's all about moving
45:00
forwards and shedding the bad things, right?
45:03
Yes, a year of the snake was all about like, shedding things that
45:07
you no longer wanted, needed, no longer served you.
45:10
And the year of the Fire Horse is supposed to be all.
45:12
About momentum. And if you're AF1 fan it also
45:17
means year of Ferrari I hope. Oh.
45:23
Oh my God, that's just reminded me that We've got Drives to
45:26
Survive is coming out, so new season.
45:29
I'm man, if I feel like, do you know what's gonna happen this
45:31
year, guys? We're gonna have George Russell
45:33
world champion. And I do think Charles and Lewis
45:36
are gonna do well. That's my gut.
45:38
You had it here first. Yeah.
45:40
Feel free to come back in December and tell me I'm wrong.
45:42
I really want to see Carlos Sainz and I would love to see.
45:47
I just like to see Williams do well this year.
45:49
And Alex Alborn, he's such a sweetheart.
45:51
There's quite a few drivers that I absolutely love and I'd be
45:54
happy for them to do well. Really there's not many people I
45:57
don't like. But anyway, we're going
45:59
horrendously off topic. That was not astrology based,
46:01
but I couldn't. Resist but we know so many but
46:04
girlies are also F1 girlies so it makes sense OK?
46:07
Yeah, so going back to what we're actually supposed to be
46:10
talking about, do you think having an interest in astrology
46:14
and spirituality shapes how you look at goals?
46:18
Yeah, 100% because like we said earlier about the vision board,
46:21
because I believe, genuinely believe in like manifesting the
46:25
reality that you want, having that visual representation to
46:30
help you manifest the dream and the life that you want.
46:35
For me personally, it helps and I think people can be like, oh,
46:38
astrology, it's just witchy woo woo nonsense.
46:41
Yeah, OK, fine. If that's, if that's how you, if
46:44
that's how you feel about it, fine.
46:45
But also you're clearly a negative Nancy probably going
46:48
over in life. And it helps me and it helps me
46:52
stay positive. Like it's something, if that's
46:55
something that helps me believe that, you know, I've got
46:58
positive momentum moving forward this year, then you know, what
47:02
the fuck's wrong with that? I also think that astrology and
47:06
spirituality, a big piece of it, is like trust in the natural
47:09
order of things and having faith in nature and the universe,
47:14
however that looks. It's almost like a religion in
47:16
some senses, but without like praying to one specific God.
47:22
And I really believe in that because I just like, from a
47:25
spiritual point of view, I love nature.
47:27
I think when you go into a forest and it's beautiful, that
47:30
is magic. Or like crystals and stones.
47:33
They are so beautiful. How could they not be special in
47:37
some way? How powerful?
47:38
Yeah. How could they not be?
47:40
You know, these are the kind of things that you get in fantasy
47:42
books that are like relics. They're like our natural version
47:44
of that. So I personally also like to
47:48
think that my astrology and spiritual beliefs shape my goals
47:52
because I kind of have faith in this natural world that it's
47:55
going to take me where I need to be.
47:57
Yeah, that's my thing, is that I just think even I can get
48:01
emotional. I can get upset about things we
48:03
were saying earlier, you know, house move.
48:05
It's a very emotional, daunting thing I've had so many ups and
48:10
downs with, but whenever I'm feeling really frantic, I just
48:15
come back to that natural belief that everything happens for a
48:17
reason and everything happens in the way it's supposed to happen.
48:21
Like the universe kind of like has a plan for you.
48:24
Because if you don't trust in that, there is just an element
48:28
of trusting in that and making things happen for yourself.
48:30
And it's finding the right blend and mix between the two.
48:34
Because if you're just thinking the universe is going to plop
48:37
something in my lap at the right time, life doesn't really work
48:41
like that. You start.
48:42
To kind of take the steps to make it happen and prep and work
48:45
hard. 100%. Yeah, I feel exactly the same
48:49
shock because like as well, I bet you to anyone listening to
48:54
this, if you think about a negative experience that you've
48:56
had, whether it's last year or the year before, I bet you
48:59
something positive came right after it.
49:01
You know, like, for me, I couldn't take a job that I
49:04
thought I really wanted and I had to trust my instinct on not
49:07
taking it because it wasn't quite right.
49:09
And then I've got the one after that has now worked out so well
49:12
for me. And if I'd have like, not
49:14
trusted the universe and just taken this job, I wouldn't be in
49:16
that situation. You know?
49:18
So it's like, I bet you for anyone listening, whether it's a
49:21
breakup that you thought was horrendous, something positive
49:24
has actually come from it after 100%.
49:27
So true. Yeah.
49:29
OK, well, I feel like we've been such like gurus today.
49:34
It feels so grounded and. Call us Grace Beverly and
49:38
Stephen Bartlett or whatever his name is.
49:40
I feel like everyone's boycotting Stephen Bartlett
49:42
after his incel episode. It's just annoying.
49:45
It's the way you like phrases things as well.
49:48
So what do you think is the next natural step like?
49:52
Such a good impersonation. Thank you, he's just so
49:55
annoying. Anyway, off topic.
49:56
Off topic off topic. Anyway, I feel like the whole
50:00
point is if you're listening to this and you feel like you
50:05
failed at the beginning of the year, things haven't gone the
50:07
way that you plan them to. We are only a couple of months
50:10
into the year. Reset, reassess, sit down with
50:13
your best friend, like have find yourself an accountability
50:16
buddy, Slide into our DMS. We're always here to listen.
50:20
Like just find what works for you and reset yourself.
50:24
Like 100% and like Tor said, there's literally like 9 months
50:29
of the year to go. So much can happen in that time.
50:32
Have faith in Year of the Horse. That felt so cheesy.
50:38
Have faith in the year of the. Horse I'm going to put like a
50:41
Ferrari logo here as well. Have faith in the F1 Ferrari
50:46
horse year. So anyway, yes, we hope that
50:53
this waffle of goal setting, resetting and trusting energy
51:00
helps at least one person. That would make me happy if I
51:02
knew that. Don't forget to like, subscribe,
51:04
comment, all the normal things because it all really supports
51:07
and helps us. Every person that collaborate.
51:12
It's not collaborates. My comments, comments and
51:15
interacts. It all means so much to us.
51:17
It makes it so worth it for us to get together and be besties
51:20
and yeah, do this shit. So yeah, thank you guys, and
51:23
we'll see you in another two weeks for another episode.