Latest / INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living / Song of Solomon │ Msg 2240

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Song of Solomon │ Msg 2240 · INSIGHT FOR LIVING: Biblical Wisdom For Everyday Living

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Speaker 1: Down through the centuries, men and women have used various
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Speaker 1: means of expressing their love to one another. I suppose
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Speaker 1: if you're gifted in writing songs, you have, like many others,
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Speaker 1: written a song to one that you love. If you're
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Speaker 1: able to put it to music, all the better. And
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Speaker 1: if you're able to sing it, that's even the best.
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Speaker 1: Singing to someone your love message. Other people have had
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Speaker 1: the money and the time and the means to erect
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Speaker 1: monuments to one that they love, to build buildings in
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Speaker 1: their name, or even cities down in the history of time.
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Speaker 1: But I suppose of all the expressions that men and
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Speaker 1: women have used to describe their love for one another,
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Speaker 1: the most common is the writing of poetic verse. Who hasn't?
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Speaker 1: Been thrilled in reading just those lines from that sonnet
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Speaker 1: by Browning. How do I love thee? Let me count
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Speaker 1: the ways. Or from Poe. And this maiden she lived
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Speaker 1: with no other thought than to love and be loved
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Speaker 1: by me. She was a child and I was a
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Speaker 1: child in this kingdom by the sea. But we loved
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Speaker 1: with a love that was more than love. I and
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Speaker 1: my Annabelle Lee. Oh, I guess I'm a romanticist at
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Speaker 1: heart when it comes to poetry. I appreciated the writings
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Speaker 1: of Roy Croft in days past. He said this, I
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Speaker 1: love you not only for what you are, but for
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Speaker 1: what I am when I am with you. I love
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Speaker 1: you not only for what you have made of yourself,
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Speaker 1: but for what you are making of me. I love
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Speaker 1: you for the part of me you bring out. I
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Speaker 1: love you for putting your hand into my heaped-up heart
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Speaker 1: and passing over all the foolish, weak things that you
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Speaker 1: can't help dimly seeing there, and for drawing out into
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Speaker 1: the light all the beautiful belongings that no one else
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Speaker 1: had looked quite far enough to find. I love you
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Speaker 1: because you are helping me to make of the lumber
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Speaker 1: of my life not a tavern, but a temple. Out
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Speaker 1: of the works of my everyday, not a reproach, but
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Speaker 1: a song. And on and on. Poems of love have
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Speaker 1: a couple of things in common. First of all, they
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Speaker 1: are extremely personal, and they are at times even intimate.
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Speaker 1: They're never meant to be shared with someone else other
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Speaker 1: than the lover. I suppose many of us have had
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Speaker 1: the experience of having a teacher find a note that
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Speaker 1: we wrote to someone else in the class. And humiliation
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Speaker 1: upon humiliation, reading that love note to the class. That
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Speaker 1: is the living end of embarrassment. It's a very personal
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Speaker 1: love note. It's not meant to be shared with anybody else.
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Speaker 1: Some time back, in fact, years ago, I used to
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Speaker 1: write poetry to my wife. And it occurred to me
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Speaker 1: in recent months that I hadn't done that for some time,
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Speaker 1: and I wanted to do that. And I felt a
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Speaker 1: burst of creativity, and I sat down, and I wrote
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Speaker 1: lines that expressed my affection. Just before I took a
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Speaker 1: trip out of the city for several days, I left
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Speaker 1: that note with her. And to my amazement, when I
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Speaker 1: got home, she had taken that little love note and
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Speaker 1: had taped it on the window in front of the
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Speaker 1: kitchen sink. And our teenagers had been reading that love note.
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Speaker 1: And they were not reading it as I had written it. Oh,
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Speaker 1: my dearest darling. Nobody else can read a love note
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Speaker 1: that you wrote to somebody like you meant it. It's
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Speaker 1: meant for that person and that person only. The second
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Speaker 1: thing about a love note is it is meant to
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Speaker 1: be enjoyed, not analyzed. Now when I say these things,
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Speaker 1: I am introducing to all of us the Song of Solomon.
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Speaker 1: It is a love note. Solomon and his lover, who
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Speaker 1: became his bride, his wife, never dreamed that centuries of
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Speaker 1: people would be reading their love note. I am convinced
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Speaker 1: they had no idea that we would be looking over
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Speaker 1: their shoulders and and reading their very intimate remarks to
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Speaker 1: one another. After all, how could we understand fully what
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Speaker 1: they meant? It's a lengthy love note of some eight
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Speaker 1: chapters in our Bible, and it's really not meant to
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Speaker 1: be analyzed, to say nothing of abused as it has
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Speaker 1: been down through the years. As men and women have
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Speaker 1: attempted to interpret this wonderful book in the most fanciful manner,
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Speaker 1: when in reality it is simply a small vignette of
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Speaker 1: a love relationship between a man and a woman in
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Speaker 1: the days of Solomon. Sure, there is probably an analogy
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Speaker 1: of Christ's love for his church that is latent within
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Speaker 1: this poem, but I don't think when Solomon wrote it
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Speaker 1: and his lover read it and when she wrote it
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Speaker 1: and he read her words that that was in mind
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Speaker 1: at all. Let's look at it as best we can
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Speaker 1: in the time we have, and let's draw from it
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Speaker 1: some guidelines for our love relationship today. They are here
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Speaker 1: for us to enjoy. First of all, some introductory information
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Speaker 1: that would help. Who wrote it? Well, the first verse
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Speaker 1: assures us that this is Solomon's work. This is the
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Speaker 1: Song of Songs. It is the most exquisite of all
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Speaker 1: of his 1,005 songs. 1 Kings 4.32 tells us that
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Speaker 1: he wrote over 1,000 songs, and this is the best
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Speaker 1: of the bunch. This is the number one, in his opinion,
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Speaker 1: of all the songs he wrote. When was it written?
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Speaker 1: There is not a date in the book, nor do
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Speaker 1: scholars agree on the exact time. Solomon wrote three books
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Speaker 1: that found their way ultimately into the Bible. They are
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Speaker 1: Song of Solomon, Ecclesiastes, and Proverbs that appear in the
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Speaker 1: opposite order in the Bible. First we find Proverbs and
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Speaker 1: then Ecclesiastes and then last his song. I am of
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Speaker 1: the opinion that he wrote the song early in life
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Speaker 1: when his love was warm and innocent and beautiful and unscarred.
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Speaker 1: He wrote Ecclesiastes in the midlife when he was in
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Speaker 1: the middle of the crises that we mentioned in our
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Speaker 1: last study. And then I think he wrote Proverbs in
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Speaker 1: his late years when he was wise and had learned
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Speaker 1: in a difficult way some of the lessons that life taught.
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Speaker 1: So I suggest he wrote this song when he was young,
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Speaker 1: when he was early on the throne of the land
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Speaker 1: of Israel. Why has it been preserved? Probably to show
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Speaker 1: us the human side of life in the days of
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Speaker 1: a king like Solomon. It's easy to forget the humanity
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Speaker 1: in great men and women. Song of Solomon will help
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Speaker 1: you see that the man, like all of us, was
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Speaker 1: very human. It is a song that extols human love.
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Speaker 1: It exalts affection between married partners. And fourth, the question,
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Speaker 1: how should it be interpreted? I suggest literally. I think
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Speaker 1: you force upon it any other interpretation, even though, as
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Speaker 1: I said earlier, it seems possible that the love of
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Speaker 1: Christ and his relationship to the church would be seen here.
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Speaker 1: That is not really the basic interpretation. I think it's
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Speaker 1: the love of a man for a woman and her
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Speaker 1: for him. Throughout the book, you will read of my darling,
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Speaker 1: which is a reference to the woman, and my beloved,
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Speaker 1: which is a reference to the man. And they dialogue
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Speaker 1: back and forth in this love note, love song to
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Speaker 1: one another. Before going any further, let me say this
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Speaker 1: to you. The language of the book is exceedingly intimate,
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Speaker 1: quite personal. It is the most intimate expressions found in
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Speaker 1: all the Bible. So I say that on the front
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Speaker 1: end of this study so you will be comfortable and
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Speaker 1: I also will be comfortable as we read over the
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Speaker 1: shoulders of these two who were madly in love with
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Speaker 1: each other. It'll just warm the romantic fire inside of you.
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Speaker 1: And if it doesn't, there's something wrong with you. So
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Speaker 1: let's take off and see what it has to say.
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Speaker 1: To begin with, there is a title for the book
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Speaker 1: right in the first verse, The Song of Songs. otherwise
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Speaker 1: called the Canticles, the Song of Songs, which is Solomon.
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Speaker 1: And then we move into the period of courtship. If
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Speaker 1: you look on the back of your chart that you
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Speaker 1: received this evening, you'll see the dialogue as it progresses
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Speaker 1: through the book of the Song of Solomon. The bride
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Speaker 1: speaks as the chief speaker to start with chapter 1
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Speaker 1: verse 2 through chapter 3 verse 5 and then he
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Speaker 1: becomes the chief speaker in chapter 3 verse 6 through
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Speaker 1: chapter 5 verse 1 and She comes back and answers
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Speaker 1: him in chapter 5, verse 2, through the third verse
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Speaker 1: of chapter 6. And he responds again as the husband
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Speaker 1: in 6, 4 through 8, 4. And then both of
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Speaker 1: them sort of sing together in antiphonal or harmonious voice
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Speaker 1: the last part of the song that they do together.
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Speaker 1: So it's quite a creative expression of love. Now the
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Speaker 1: courtship days are set forth in a very creative manner.
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Speaker 1: Verse 2 of chapter 1. May he kiss me with
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Speaker 1: the kisses of his mouth for your love is better
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Speaker 1: than wine. You know right away you're in for some
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Speaker 1: good stuff when you read that. Your oils have a
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Speaker 1: pleasing fragrance. Your name is like purified oil. Therefore the
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Speaker 1: maidens love you. Draw me after you and let us
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Speaker 1: run together. The king has brought me into his chambers
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Speaker 1: and Here's the bride, the wife-to-be, as she speaks of
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Speaker 1: the king in his chamber, and he is to draw
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Speaker 1: her into his chamber and to take her as his
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Speaker 1: own beloved bride. Verse 7 continues. Tell me, O you
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Speaker 1: whom my soul loves, where do you pasture your flock?
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Speaker 1: Where do you make it lie down at noon? Why
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Speaker 1: should I be like one who veils herself beside the
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Speaker 1: flocks of your companions? If you yourself do not know
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Speaker 1: most beautiful among women, go forth on the trail of
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Speaker 1: the flock and pasture your young goats by the tents
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Speaker 1: of the shepherds. To me, my darling, now he answers.
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Speaker 1: He responds to her in this note of love. To me,
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Speaker 1: my darling, you are like my mare among the chariots
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Speaker 1: of Pharaoh. It's a rather creative way to describe her.
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Speaker 1: Your cheeks are lovely with ornaments, your neck with strings
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Speaker 1: of beads. We will make for you ornaments of gold
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Speaker 1: with beads of silver. While the king was at his table,
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Speaker 1: my perfume gave forth its fragrance. Verse 15. How beautiful
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Speaker 1: you are, my darling. How beautiful you are. Your eyes
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Speaker 1: are like doves. How handsome you are, my beloved, and
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Speaker 1: so pleasant. Indeed, our couch is luxuriant. I am the
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Speaker 1: rose of Sharon, the lily of the valleys. Like a
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Speaker 1: lily among the thorns, so is my darling among the maidens.
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Speaker 1: And then she describes him and his love. Verse 4.
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Speaker 1: He has brought me to his banquet hall and his
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Speaker 1: banner over me is love. Sustain me with raisin cakes.
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Speaker 1: Refresh me with apples. I am lovesick. Wow. She is
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Speaker 1: really caught up in this relationship with this man. He
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Speaker 1: says his left hand shall be under my head and
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Speaker 1: his right hand embrace me. Listen, my beloved. Verse 8. Behold,
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Speaker 1: he is coming, climbing on the mountains. Leaping on the hills,
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Speaker 1: he's like a gazelle or a young stag. Verse 10,
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Speaker 1: my beloved responded and said, Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
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Speaker 1: and come along. Winter has passed. The rain is over
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Speaker 1: and gone. The flowers have appeared in the land. She
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Speaker 1: muses about his love in verse 1 of chapter 3.
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Speaker 1: On my bed, night after night, I sought him. I
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Speaker 1: sought him, but I did not find him. And so
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Speaker 1: she reaches out as she meditates on his absence and
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Speaker 1: she thinks, where could he be? So she asks the
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Speaker 1: watchman of the city and she pursues him. Verse four,
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Speaker 1: scarcely had I left them when I found him whom
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Speaker 1: my soul loves. I held on to him and would
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Speaker 1: not let him go until I had brought him to
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Speaker 1: my mother's house and into the room of her who
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Speaker 1: conceived me. They have courted, they have gone together in
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Speaker 1: this growing, warm, beautiful, lovely relationship. And now the day
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Speaker 1: of the wedding comes. Solomon writes, I adjure you, O
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Speaker 1: daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hyenas
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Speaker 1: of the field, that you will not arouse or awaken
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Speaker 1: my love until she pleases. She describes him coming in
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Speaker 1: all of this wedding entourage. What is this coming up
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Speaker 1: from the wilderness like columns of smoke perfumed with myrrh
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Speaker 1: and frankincense? Behold, it is the traveling couch of Solomon,
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Speaker 1: 60 mighty men around it, of the mighty men of Israel.
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Speaker 1: All of them are wielders of the sword, expert in war.
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Speaker 1: Each man has his sword at his side, guarding against
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Speaker 1: the terrors of the night. Solomon has made for himself
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Speaker 1: a sedan chair from the timber of Lebanon. She describes
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Speaker 1: it for us. And then he turns and speaks to
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Speaker 1: her in loving terms as they are now married. How
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Speaker 1: beautiful you are, my darling. How beautiful you are. Your
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Speaker 1: eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair is
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Speaker 1: like a flock of goats. I had a fellow tell
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Speaker 1: me after the service was over at 530 that it
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Speaker 1: doesn't work. He said he told his wife that very
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Speaker 1: thing and she drove home alone after the service. He
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Speaker 1: uses expressions that are very familiar to that day, but
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Speaker 1: not to ours. Look at what he says about her teeth,
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Speaker 1: verse 2. Your teeth are like a flock of newly
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Speaker 1: shorn ewes, which have come up from their washing, all
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Speaker 1: of which bear twins, and not one among them has
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Speaker 1: lost her young. You've got all of your teeth. They're beautiful.
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Speaker 1: Your lips are like a scarlet thread. Your mouth is lovely.
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Speaker 1: Your temples are like a slice of pomegranate behind your veil.
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Speaker 1: Your neck is like the Tower of David. built with
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Speaker 1: rows of stones on which are hung a thousand shields. Wow,
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Speaker 1: that guy is gifted, isn't he? Creative, huh? Verse 5.
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Speaker 1: Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle,
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Speaker 1: which feed among the lilies until the cool of the
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Speaker 1: day when the shadows flee away. That man knew how
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Speaker 1: to do it, didn't he? Margaret Hardesty in her book
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Speaker 1: Forever My Love writes this. Oh, I lost my place.
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Speaker 1: I can't believe it. I had the best quote and
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Speaker 1: I can't even find it. She says in her book
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Speaker 1: how the man knows just the words to say at
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Speaker 1: just the right time with just the expressions that are
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Speaker 1: needed for her to understand the depth of his feelings
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Speaker 1: for her. And he describes her in the most intimate
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Speaker 1: fashion and you turn in the very next chapter and
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Speaker 1: she responds back to him in a similar manner. Verse 2,
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Speaker 1: chapter 5. I was asleep, but my heart was awake.
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Speaker 1: A voice, my beloved, was knocking. Open to me, my sister,
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Speaker 1: my darling, my dove, my perfect one. For my head
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Speaker 1: is drenched with dew, my locks with the damp of
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Speaker 1: the night. I have taken off my dress. How can
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Speaker 1: I put it on again? I have washed my feet.
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Speaker 1: How can I dirty them again? My beloved extended his
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Speaker 1: hand through the opening and my feelings were aroused for him.
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Speaker 1: It's an intimate expression of of marital love and all
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Speaker 1: of its beauty. And she says, I opened to my beloved,
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Speaker 1: verse 6, and my beloved had turned away and had gone.
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Speaker 1: My heart searched for him. He leaves and then he
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Speaker 1: comes back. And when he returns, she describes him. Verse 10,
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Speaker 1: chapter 5. He is dazzling and ruddy, outstanding among 10,000.
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Speaker 1: His head is like gold, pure gold. His locks like
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Speaker 1: clusters of dates and black as a raven. His eyes
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Speaker 1: are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk
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Speaker 1: and reposed in their setting. His cheeks are like a
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Speaker 1: bed of balsam. His lips are lilies. His hands are
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Speaker 1: rods of gold. His abdomen carved ivory. His legs are
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Speaker 1: pillars of alabaster. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as
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Speaker 1: the cedars. His mouth is full of sweetness. He is
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Speaker 1: wholly desirable. Christian friends, what poor lovers we are. The
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Speaker 1: pace of our lives has so altered our steps that
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Speaker 1: reading something like this, rather than melting us, humors us.
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Speaker 1: Rather than warming us and motivating us to love like that,
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Speaker 1: we take it as a Strange kind of joke. And
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Speaker 1: there are some who hear these words who long to
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Speaker 1: have their mates respond anything similar to this. The best
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Speaker 1: we can do is a candlelight meal maybe twice a year.
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Speaker 1: And even then it takes two months planning it seems.
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Speaker 1: I want you to know that physical love is an
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Speaker 1: art that cannot grow without being nurtured. And if left alone,
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Speaker 1: will decay. and no amount of Bible study will replace
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Speaker 1: it no amount of church going or good intent or
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Speaker 1: busy schedule will take the place and meet the needs
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Speaker 1: of physical love of a partner In my travels at times,
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Speaker 1: I have the privilege of going overseas and meeting with
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Speaker 1: missionaries whom I have really learned to love. And to
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Speaker 1: my amazement, it shouldn't be, but to my amazement, I
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Speaker 1: have discovered they as well struggle just as deeply in
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Speaker 1: this whole area of their intimate life. Some of which
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Speaker 1: hang by a very thin, thin wire. And if you
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Speaker 1: are excusing your lack of creative love because of an
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Speaker 1: involvement in many, many spiritual things, you're choosing a lame excuse.
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Speaker 1: Our Heavenly Father who gave us bodies as well as
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Speaker 1: souls and spirits meant for the body and its love
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Speaker 1: relationship to be nurtured in all of the security and
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Speaker 1: beauty of marital love. If there is anyone who ought
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Speaker 1: to have a virile, romantic life, it is the Christians.
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Speaker 1: And I mean that in ways other than just the sexual.
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Speaker 1: I mean that in all of romance. All of the
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Speaker 1: beauty of enjoying the body of a partner and enjoying
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Speaker 1: the person and enjoying what they have to say and
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Speaker 1: responding to their feelings. All of that interplay, that intimacy
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Speaker 1: that makes a home, makes a marriage. That's what's here.
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Speaker 1: And we're strangers to it. We need to be appreciated
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Speaker 1: and noticed and loved and appealed to. That's the longing
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Speaker 1: of hearts. In fact, there are some here single at
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Speaker 1: this very moment who once were married because of the
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Speaker 1: lack of that intimacy are no longer married. And it
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Speaker 1: isn't just living with another person of the opposite sex.
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Speaker 1: It is being intimately related. It is sharing in life
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Speaker 1: and love and mutual interests. Donald Meredith has written a
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Speaker 1: book called Becoming One, and in it he describes the
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Speaker 1: progression of decay, which I thought was interesting. Four steps down.
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Speaker 1: First there is romanticism, then there is reality, and then
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Speaker 1: there is resentment, and finally there is rebellion. What makes
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Speaker 1: that happen? What must I do for that to happen?
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Speaker 1: I'll tell you, nothing. And it will happen. In this fabulous,
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Speaker 1: beautiful expression of love, I find how that lack occurs.
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Speaker 1: I find it in a positive way here, and I
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Speaker 1: want to share with you three or four things that
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Speaker 1: often lack in a married life and a partnership resulting
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Speaker 1: in that decay. Please notice them. Remember what we saw
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Speaker 1: in chapter 5, verse 2, as he says, don't awaken her.
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Speaker 1: Let her awaken alone. And then when she does, he
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Speaker 1: adores her person. And she, in return, chapter 5, verses
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Speaker 1: 10 through 16, she notices him. She says he's dazzling,
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Speaker 1: he's ruddy, her desire is for him. His legs are
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Speaker 1: like this. His abdomen is like that. His arms are
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Speaker 1: like this. His face is like that. His hair is
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Speaker 1: like this. She is enjoying his person. Brings me to
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Speaker 1: the first lack. The lack of personal attention. Lack of
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Speaker 1: personal attention. Why in the world is it that a
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Speaker 1: married woman. Attractive. married to an affluent, successful, capable man,
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Speaker 1: will turn to another individual in an affair and build
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Speaker 1: a relationship with that person who doesn't have half the
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Speaker 1: looks or money this one has, her partner, because that
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Speaker 1: one gives her personal attention. She craves it. We all do.
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Speaker 1: Let's face it. And this couple in this book, observes,
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Speaker 1: notices they're wild about each other. She even says to him,
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Speaker 1: verse 16 of chapter 5, he is wholly desirable. This
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Speaker 1: is a good place to say some things about the
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Speaker 1: difference between men and women in this matter of romance.
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Speaker 1: I refer to Dr. James Dobson's fine book, What Wives
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Speaker 1: Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women. He says this, An
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Speaker 1: effort has been underway for the past few years to
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Speaker 1: prove that men and women are identical, except for the
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Speaker 1: ability to bear children. Nothing could be further from the truth.
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Speaker 1: Males and females differ biochemically, anatomically, and emotionally. In truth,
25:27
Speaker 1: they are unique in every cell of their bodies, for
25:31
Speaker 1: men carry a different chromosomal pattern than women. There is
25:35
Speaker 1: also considerable evidence to indicate that the hypothalamic region located
25:41
Speaker 1: just above the pituitary gland in the midbrain is wired
25:47
Speaker 1: very uniquely for each of the sexes. This provides women
25:52
Speaker 1: with a different psychological frame of reference than men. Further,
25:58
Speaker 1: female sexual desire tends to be somewhat cyclical, correlated With
26:05
Speaker 1: the menstrual calendar, whereas males are acyclical, these and other
26:10
Speaker 1: features account for the undeniable fact that masculine and feminine
26:14
Speaker 1: expressions of sexuality are far from identical. And then he
26:18
Speaker 1: describes two major differences, which are very helpful. First, men
26:24
Speaker 1: are primarily excited by visual stimulation, whereas women are primarily
26:31
Speaker 1: excited by the sense of touch. Second and much more important,
26:37
Speaker 1: men are not very discriminating in regard to the person
26:41
Speaker 1: living within an exciting body. A man can walk down
26:46
Speaker 1: a street and be stimulated by a scantily clad female
26:50
Speaker 1: who shimmies past him even though he knows nothing about
26:53
Speaker 1: her personality or values or mental capabilities. Not a woman.
26:59
Speaker 1: A woman is not like that. Women are much more
27:02
Speaker 1: discriminating in their sexual interests. They less commonly become excited
27:07
Speaker 1: by simply observing a good-looking male. A woman is stimulated
27:12
Speaker 1: by the romantic aura which surrounds her man, by his character,
27:18
Speaker 1: by his personality. She yields to the man who appeals
27:23
Speaker 1: to her emotionally as well as physically. Sex for men
27:29
Speaker 1: is a more physical thing, but for women it is
27:31
Speaker 1: a deeply emotional experience. You know what that says? It
27:35
Speaker 1: says that a woman has a great difficulty relating intimately
27:39
Speaker 1: to a person she doesn't respect. Thus the tremendous need, men,
27:48
Speaker 1: in order to be wholly desirable to our wives, to
27:52
Speaker 1: maintain that respect, that challenge, that zest for living that
27:59
Speaker 1: she longs to find in you. We really earn the
28:08
Speaker 1: right to be loved. Now, men, I want to say
28:16
Speaker 1: something that maybe nobody else will tell you. No matter
28:21
Speaker 1: how spiritual you become, no matter how hungry you may
28:25
Speaker 1: be for the truth of God, that is never a
28:31
Speaker 1: substitute for noticing, loving, and appealing to your wife. Never.
28:41
Speaker 1: They ought to go hand in hand, but they don't,
28:43
Speaker 1: being given to extremes as we are. She needs to
28:51
Speaker 1: be noticed. She needs to be loved. She needs to
28:54
Speaker 1: be observed. She needs to be told what she means
28:58
Speaker 1: to you. Physical, personal attention. How many men in the
29:05
Speaker 1: ministry of all careers where this should not be happening,
29:09
Speaker 1: have many men in the ministry tube out in their
29:12
Speaker 1: marriage because they fail to cultivate that love relationship with
29:17
Speaker 1: their partner. Very much involved in ministry, very little involved
29:23
Speaker 1: in the intimate attention given to their mates. A lack
29:30
Speaker 1: of personal attention. The second is a lack of leisure. Leisure.
29:34
Speaker 1: Verses 1 through 9 of chapter 7. Turn there if
29:37
Speaker 1: you will. Notice the time it will take to cultivate
29:41
Speaker 1: this creativity. How beautiful are your feet in sandals, oh
29:46
Speaker 1: prince's daughter. The curves of your hips are like jewels,
29:50
Speaker 1: the work of the hands of an artist. Your navel
29:54
Speaker 1: is like a round goblet which never lacks mixed wine.
29:57
Speaker 1: Your belly a heap of wheat fenced about with lilies. Wow.
30:02
Speaker 1: Your twin breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle.
30:05
Speaker 1: Your neck is like a tower of ivory. Your eyes
30:07
Speaker 1: like the pools in Hesban by the gate of Bathrabin.
30:13
Speaker 1: Your nose is like the Tower of Lebanon, faces toward Damascus.
30:16
Speaker 1: Your head crowns you like Carmel at Malta. Let me
30:21
Speaker 1: tell you, in order to be creative you need leisure.
30:25
Speaker 1: You cannot be creative in a hurry. It takes time
30:30
Speaker 1: to cultivate a creative love relationship. It takes leisure. In
30:40
Speaker 1: the beauty and the charm and the elegance of this book,
30:43
Speaker 1: I see quietness and time to express. Time to hear.
30:54
Speaker 1: I see time carved out for that growing relationship. It's
31:01
Speaker 1: easy to get into a rut, isn't it? There's a
31:04
Speaker 1: sign that appears on the Alaskan highway that reads, choose
31:08
Speaker 1: your rut carefully, you'll be in it for the next
31:11
Speaker 1: 200 miles. And I tell you, that aptly describes many
31:18
Speaker 1: a Christian home. Many a Christian life. Set in a rut,
31:26
Speaker 1: set in a schedule, set in a routine so that
31:30
Speaker 1: time for one another is aborted. Isn't that amazing? We
31:38
Speaker 1: have time for our work. We even have time to
31:44
Speaker 1: be punctual to our work. And when duty calls, we
31:48
Speaker 1: have time for overtime. Overtime. Some have time for a
31:52
Speaker 1: second job. And when you have the money, you have
31:56
Speaker 1: time to pursue where you are going to buy that
31:59
Speaker 1: new car. You make time. You make time for that game,
32:05
Speaker 1: whether it's tennis or golf or racquetball or whatever. You
32:08
Speaker 1: take the time. It's a high priority. What kind of
32:13
Speaker 1: priority do you have or have you placed on your
32:16
Speaker 1: relationship with your mate? The days of old, in the
32:22
Speaker 1: days of Moses, they really had it down, even in
32:25
Speaker 1: the law. Look at Deuteronomy 24, verse 5. Deuteronomy 24, 5. Oh,
32:33
Speaker 1: for the good old days. Listen to this rule. The
32:40
Speaker 1: context of chapter 24 is when a man takes a
32:43
Speaker 1: wife and marries her, verse 1. Verse 5 says... When
32:47
Speaker 1: a man takes a new wife, he shall not go
32:50
Speaker 1: out with the army, so he's free from military service,
32:57
Speaker 1: nor be charged with any duty. He shall be free
33:01
Speaker 1: at home one year and shall give happiness to his
33:07
Speaker 1: wife whom he has taken. Wow, isn't that great? An
33:12
Speaker 1: entire year of vacations. You see what I mean? The
33:17
Speaker 1: good old days. There it is. A sabbatical right off
33:21
Speaker 1: the bat. How about just an evening? How about just
33:29
Speaker 1: once a month? In 52 weeks, how about just a
33:38
Speaker 1: couple of weekends? Back to Song of Solomon, this brings
33:43
Speaker 1: us to the third lack, lack of getaway escapes. We've
33:48
Speaker 1: talked about a lack of personal attention, a lack of leisure.
33:52
Speaker 1: And how about getting away together? Chapter 7, verse 10,
33:57
Speaker 1: she says, I am my beloved's and his desire is
34:01
Speaker 1: for me. So it begins with a desire for each other.
34:05
Speaker 1: And so she says to him, come, my beloved, let
34:08
Speaker 1: us go out into the country. Let us spend the
34:12
Speaker 1: night in the villages. So they see new places. They
34:15
Speaker 1: go to a spot that is away from their familiar habitat.
34:23
Speaker 1: And she says, let us rise early and go to
34:26
Speaker 1: the vineyards and let us see whether the vine has
34:29
Speaker 1: budded and its blossoms have opened and whether the pomegranates
34:32
Speaker 1: have bloomed. Isn't this beautiful? She's out in the country
34:36
Speaker 1: with her lovers. And she says to him, let's notice
34:40
Speaker 1: some things that are going on that we don't normally
34:44
Speaker 1: take the time to notice. And so they look at
34:47
Speaker 1: the blooming flowers and they study the vines and they
34:50
Speaker 1: enjoy the countryside, the landscape. It's quiet and it's clear
34:57
Speaker 1: and it's intimate. They've gotten away for some time. And
35:04
Speaker 1: in it all, she says, they're I will give you
35:08
Speaker 1: my love. There's no force. There's no sense of obligation.
35:14
Speaker 1: That's the most natural place in the world. Why do
35:18
Speaker 1: you think marriage encounter flourishes or marriage enrichment seminars or
35:23
Speaker 1: couples conferences? I can't remember the last couple conference that
35:27
Speaker 1: I spoke at that wasn't packed full. You know what
35:32
Speaker 1: I tell couples at these conferences? I tell them right
35:35
Speaker 1: off the bat on Friday night. Now, there are three
35:37
Speaker 1: things you cannot talk about. You cannot talk about work.
35:41
Speaker 1: You cannot talk about church. And you cannot talk about children.
35:46
Speaker 1: And they look at me as if to say, what
35:48
Speaker 1: in the world is there to talk about? If you
35:51
Speaker 1: take away the big three, what else do we have?
35:53
Speaker 1: Have you ever thought about your partner? Oh. And a
36:00
Speaker 1: whole world is opened up. And they for the first
36:02
Speaker 1: time sometime in a year are hearing what they have
36:06
Speaker 1: not heard during those 52 weeks past. Because they've gotten away.
36:13
Speaker 1: Couples that I marry, I love to spend enough time
36:16
Speaker 1: with them for them to understand what that commitment is
36:20
Speaker 1: all about. So I tell them that more than likely
36:23
Speaker 1: they will be making a tape recording of their weddings.
36:27
Speaker 1: So when their anniversary rolls around, they are to take
36:29
Speaker 1: off at least for one night, preferably a weekend, near
36:34
Speaker 1: or at the time of their anniversary, and they are
36:37
Speaker 1: to listen to the tape of their wedding, hear their vows,
36:41
Speaker 1: and review their goals and to see if they're still
36:46
Speaker 1: on target. It is amazing what that does, just to
36:51
Speaker 1: take a year's look every year at where you are
36:58
Speaker 1: and at where you're going. It's amazing. There's one more lack,
37:09
Speaker 1: and it is common in homes today, and that is
37:12
Speaker 1: what I will call a lack of security in one
37:16
Speaker 1: another's arms. A lack of security. Verse 4 of chapter
37:24
Speaker 1: 8 says, I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem,
37:30
Speaker 1: do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases.
37:35
Speaker 1: Verse 6. Now that she's awakened, notice. Put me like
37:39
Speaker 1: a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm.
37:44
Speaker 1: For love is as strong as death. The first major
37:50
Speaker 1: area of security needed in a relationship is commitment. My
37:56
Speaker 1: wife and I have gotten to the place where we
37:58
Speaker 1: now verbally declare our commitment to one another. Not that
38:03
Speaker 1: the other needs to hear it, though that is often true,
38:07
Speaker 1: but we need to say it. We verbalize our commitment.
38:13
Speaker 1: We declare our loyalty. We announce and affirm in the
38:19
Speaker 1: ears of the other the depth of our bond. I
38:27
Speaker 1: do that before trips and after trips. I do that
38:31
Speaker 1: in the humdrum of a week or in the quietness
38:35
Speaker 1: of a weekend. I declare it. There is something about
38:42
Speaker 1: sealing that relationship, taking time to confirm it. I don't
38:50
Speaker 1: know why it is, but there are some in the
38:52
Speaker 1: world today who seem to take it on as a
38:54
Speaker 1: delight To begin an affair with a married person. That
39:00
Speaker 1: is their desire. Twisted and strange though it may sound.
39:04
Speaker 1: That is one of their goals. To win over a
39:07
Speaker 1: married partner. And Christians are not immune to this. A
39:13
Speaker 1: commitment between partners. Is one of the finest magnets to
39:18
Speaker 1: keep a marriage strong. Set as a seal on your heart.
39:23
Speaker 1: Your love relationship. Second is the problem with jealousy. See
39:30
Speaker 1: verse 6? Jealousy is as severe as Sheol. Its flashes
39:35
Speaker 1: are flashes of fire. If anyone has had a battle
39:41
Speaker 1: with jealousy more than I in my earlier years in marriage,
39:45
Speaker 1: I've never met him. As severe a case of jealousy
39:50
Speaker 1: as I've ever seen a person struggle with was mine
39:52
Speaker 1: for no reason. Perhaps it was part of an insecurity
39:57
Speaker 1: that I wrestled with at the time. But I'll never
39:59
Speaker 1: forget in the process of time how God slowly but
40:02
Speaker 1: surely took away that smothering, that jealous love, which really
40:07
Speaker 1: wasn't love at all. It was a bondage. And he
40:12
Speaker 1: replaced it with a quiet confidence, security in my wife's love.
40:19
Speaker 1: Continued questioning, continuing suspicion will destroy a love bond. That's
40:26
Speaker 1: why he says it's as cruel as the grave. And
40:32
Speaker 1: then toward the end of this love note, she sits
40:35
Speaker 1: in the gardens. The companions are listening for the voice.
40:38
Speaker 1: She says, let me hear it. Verse 13. Hurry, my beloved,
40:41
Speaker 1: she asks him to come back like a gazelle and
40:43
Speaker 1: to be with her. It's a desire to be together,
40:46
Speaker 1: to cultivate that companionship. Three things stand out as I
40:52
Speaker 1: close the book on Song of Solomon that are of
40:55
Speaker 1: a practical nature. I pass them on to you. The first,
40:59
Speaker 1: reaching the deepest level of love takes commitment. Believe me,
41:08
Speaker 1: it isn't automatic. Until you are ready to say, I
41:13
Speaker 1: am committed for the rest of my life to that individual,
41:17
Speaker 1: don't get married. When you are ready to say that
41:22
Speaker 1: and you say it and marriage occurs, whatever you do,
41:26
Speaker 1: don't stop saying it. To reach the deepest level calls
41:31
Speaker 1: for incredible commitment. I had a man share with me
41:39
Speaker 1: after the... first service this evening, that he had for
41:43
Speaker 1: the longest time been saving for an education, the education
41:47
Speaker 1: of his children. And he said that he and his
41:49
Speaker 1: wife had this educational fund that they set aside and
41:53
Speaker 1: they put monies into it regularly. And he said he
41:57
Speaker 1: finally realized that as their life was growing toward the
42:03
Speaker 1: twilight years and the children would soon be gone, that
42:06
Speaker 1: he needed to also have a fund called Getaway Fund.
42:08
Speaker 1: Getaway Fund. And so he would slip into that, the
42:11
Speaker 1: extra monies from time to time, and when it would
42:14
Speaker 1: reach a certain level, they'd use that alone to get away.
42:18
Speaker 1: And he said, it is remarkable what just a drive
42:20
Speaker 1: and an evening, and at times even a night spent
42:25
Speaker 1: away from children, cares, other things, would do to refresh
42:31
Speaker 1: that commitment. Take time. Take time. If it is a
42:40
Speaker 1: question between whether you will come to another service at
42:43
Speaker 1: a church or take time, and that time is needed
42:46
Speaker 1: in the home in a greater way, take time that day.
42:49
Speaker 1: It is worth it. I confess to you, one of
42:56
Speaker 1: the frustrations of being involved in ministry every weekend is
43:00
Speaker 1: the lack of weekend time, personally, in my own life.
43:06
Speaker 1: One of the reasons that we enjoy, on occasion, couples'
43:09
Speaker 1: conferences is for our own nurturing and cultivation of our
43:15
Speaker 1: own marriage. We face the same battles every married couple
43:21
Speaker 1: I've ever met faces. Reaching that level takes commitment. Second,
43:27
Speaker 1: understanding the different expressions of love takes patience. You will
43:33
Speaker 1: have one kind of expression of love that will be
43:36
Speaker 1: very important to you, but your partner will have another kind.
43:40
Speaker 1: It takes patience to see both kinds. I don't know
43:48
Speaker 1: what it is about candles. I can't explain it. It's amazing.
43:56
Speaker 1: They're like magic. You know? Flashlights are not as good.
44:05
Speaker 1: That doesn't work. You flick that on and it takes
44:09
Speaker 1: it all away. But there's something about a candle that'll
44:13
Speaker 1: do it. And if it takes a candle, use candles. Great.
44:19
Speaker 1: It's remarkable what a simple, beautiful piece of music will
44:23
Speaker 1: do to fill an evening with the tube off. And
44:30
Speaker 1: it takes patience and understanding to give so that that
44:35
Speaker 1: can be nurtured. If you want to be proud of
44:38
Speaker 1: something new as a child of God, be proud of
44:42
Speaker 1: your romance. Because if you have it, you're unique as
44:47
Speaker 1: a Christian couple. It takes patience. It takes commitment. Third,
44:56
Speaker 1: becoming the best kind of lover takes time. It takes time.
45:13
Speaker 1: A number of years ago, I had the privilege of
45:16
Speaker 1: marrying a choice couple. The kind that you would say,
45:22
Speaker 1: had you been a bug on the wall in the
45:24
Speaker 1: counseling chamber and had been able to listen to our conversation,
45:28
Speaker 1: the kind you would say, ah, that, that is a model.
45:32
Speaker 1: Would that all of them had everything going for them
45:36
Speaker 1: that this couple does. The man was a graduate of
45:40
Speaker 1: a medical school, had come out very near the top
45:42
Speaker 1: of his class, very bright, very well-traveled, very keen and sensitive.
45:50
Speaker 1: He had to finish his military commitment, so they had plans,
45:53
Speaker 1: he and his registered nurse wife, bride-to-be. They were to
45:58
Speaker 1: leave after marriage and to begin their honeymoon, their new
46:03
Speaker 1: life together as he finished his residency in a military context.
46:11
Speaker 1: So it meant they would leave the city where we
46:12
Speaker 1: lived at the time and I would lose touch with them,
46:15
Speaker 1: something I don't like to do with couples that I marry.
46:19
Speaker 1: I like to at least stay within physical and visible
46:22
Speaker 1: touch with them just to help if there's the need.
46:28
Speaker 1: And so we promised to correspond. It was a lovely wedding.
46:32
Speaker 1: memorable evening, fine family, all of them Christians, as I recall,
46:37
Speaker 1: even to the grandparents that were there. And they had
46:40
Speaker 1: everything going for them. She looked lovely. It was a
46:43
Speaker 1: beautiful night. They called me the next morning as they left,
46:47
Speaker 1: and we said goodbye on the phone, and their lives
46:51
Speaker 1: together began. After a couple of letters, however, we lost
46:55
Speaker 1: touch with each other. They moved a second time. I
46:58
Speaker 1: lost their address. Or at least I never got it
47:02
Speaker 1: because they stopped writing. Time passed. As we reached the
47:08
Speaker 1: end of about a three-year period of time, I got
47:13
Speaker 1: a call one night. As I recall, it was a
47:15
Speaker 1: Thursday or Friday evening, and I heard her voice. She said,
47:19
Speaker 1: could I come talk to you? The next day she came,
47:23
Speaker 1: and we sat down, and I looked in the face
47:24
Speaker 1: of a woman who in three years had aged 15, 18,
47:26
Speaker 1: 20 years. She looked like she was in her late
47:33
Speaker 1: middle age years, even though she was 23, 24 years old.
47:39
Speaker 1: She said, I can't believe what's happened. We're now divorced.
47:45
Speaker 1: She said, when we left, the pace began. The hurry
47:49
Speaker 1: led into worry and led into another job. And I
47:55
Speaker 1: got into drugs and He got into drugs. They were
47:58
Speaker 1: easy come from our profession. And then we mixed it
48:02
Speaker 1: with alcohol. And before we knew it, I was into
48:05
Speaker 1: an affair with a fellow across the hall. And he
48:08
Speaker 1: was involved in a whole syndrome of this miserable life.
48:12
Speaker 1: And our lives separated. She said, I worked at night.
48:15
Speaker 1: He worked in the day. I slept in the day.
48:17
Speaker 1: He slept at night. And when our schedules changed, they
48:20
Speaker 1: just flip-flopped and vice versa. She said, as a As
48:26
Speaker 1: a result, without even realizing it, we lived in two
48:30
Speaker 1: different worlds. She said, I wish someone would have come
48:35
Speaker 1: and taken me by the shoulder and shaken me hard
48:38
Speaker 1: and said to me, wake up. You're losing everything. You
48:46
Speaker 1: have forgotten just the basics of what marriage is about.
48:51
Speaker 1: But she said no one was there and it seemed
48:54
Speaker 1: like it happened overnight. Slowly but surely, the adversary wins
49:04
Speaker 1: the victory, and another marriage crumbles. Strange thing, she said,
49:13
Speaker 1: almost every weekend, believe it or not, we were in church.
49:21
Speaker 1: Christians involved in a church slowly separating decaying in their
49:29
Speaker 1: relationship let's pause and And commit our lives to the Savior.
49:39
Speaker 1: Let's bow this evening. I realize as I speak, I
49:48
Speaker 1: look into the faces of many who are single. I
49:52
Speaker 1: understand that some of this is not applicable to you.
49:58
Speaker 1: Others of you are directly involved in what has been said.
50:06
Speaker 1: My desire for those of you who are married is
50:09
Speaker 1: that you see the need for time. You forfeit that need,
50:20
Speaker 1: your marriage will grow cold. I promise you. I warn you.
50:29
Speaker 1: For you thinking about marriage, I have tried to arouse
50:33
Speaker 1: you tonight to realize that that it is the deepest
50:36
Speaker 1: of any human relationship. Until you're ready for that kind
50:42
Speaker 1: of commitment, don't step into it. Lord God, I pray
50:52
Speaker 1: that as a result of what we have heard from
50:56
Speaker 1: this fine yet intimate book, might do a very beautiful
51:05
Speaker 1: work in the life of at least one, perhaps two
51:09
Speaker 1: or three couples here who needed to hear these things.
51:17
Speaker 1: We need to know what it means to take time
51:22
Speaker 1: for basic high priority commitments. We need to know how
51:29
Speaker 1: to say no to things that are not that significant
51:36
Speaker 1: We need help and discipline in turning off the television.
51:41
Speaker 1: And turning away from an every night involvement in things.
51:48
Speaker 1: We need to know how to listen. How to be sensitive.
51:54
Speaker 1: We need to have creative ways of expressing our feelings.
52:01
Speaker 1: And patience in hearing things. our friend and partner, express theirs. Lord,
52:11
Speaker 1: you who made us and you who understands us better
52:15
Speaker 1: than anyone else, you are the one that is able
52:19
Speaker 1: to give us what we need. Help us. Direct our
52:26
Speaker 1: thoughts along your lines of thinking, Father. as we grow
52:33
Speaker 1: in becoming one, even as Christ is one with us.
52:40
Speaker 1: We pray it in his name and for his sake. Amen.
52:49
Speaker 1: The preceding message, Song of Solomon, Poem of Faithful Love,
52:54
Speaker 1: was copyrighted in 1979 and the sound recording was copyrighted
52:57
Speaker 1: in 2011 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are
53:01
Speaker 1: reserved worldwide.