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Leaving a Legacy of Faith to Our Children · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Today I have a special guest, Michelle Laserink.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: She is a multi-genre award-winning author, literary agent, pastor's wife, and mother.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: She has been published on crosswalk.com, believe.com, focus on the family.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: She loves to collect 80s records, sip Starbuck lattes, yay, and spend time with her family.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Michelle, I know you have a new book coming out titled Hall of Faith.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Is that correct?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when will that be released?
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: That'll be coming out October 29th.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's in pre-order status right now, so you can pre-order it, but it does release on October 29th.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Great.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I will have uh Michelle's website in the notes, and you can go there and find the link if you want to order the book.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So today, Michelle's going to be speaking on leaving a legacy of faith to our children.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome, Michelle, and we're excited to hear what you have to share.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Sandra.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, I just want to say thank you so much for having me on.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I always consider it a privilege, privilege to be a part of uh podcasts and kind of just proclaiming the gospel however that may take shape.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So uh thank you for having me.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: And um, just for you guys listening out there, Sandra has a beautiful devotional called Fingerprint Devotions uh that just came out just a little while ago.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: And uh so I want to encourage everyone who listens to please go and get that and share that with your children because I know that would be an indelible asset to you as you kind of journey on uh with you and your kids' faith.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_01: So um take a moment and do that.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanted to share a story uh with you about when I first became an author.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: And when I first became uh a writer in 2009, um I felt completely overwhelmed, completely out of my element.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_01: I really had no idea what I was doing, um, but I knew God was calling me into it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and as I prayed, God in his sovereignty kind of showed me the way.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: And he brought me clarity um through his word, but he also brought to me a woman who was my son and daughter's preschool teacher.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: She had recently written a children's book, and I thought I could pick her brain about what it meant to be an author.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I went up to her one day after I dropped my son off and I said, I think the Lord brought me to you.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: And we just had a good laugh about that.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: And through the next few months, she kind of took me under her wing and she brought me to critique groups.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, she gave me feedback on my writing.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: I gave her feedback on her writing.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and she told me about the very first writer's conference that I would attend that really did catapult my career as a writer.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I say that because without her, I don't know where I'd be in my writing journey.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I needed someone to show me the ropes and when it came to writing, and I knew I needed someone to help me in this new calling in my life to proclaim the gospel in a new way, but I didn't know about the mechanics of it.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know about the ins and outs of the writing world.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say that I owe a great debt to her.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, probably for the first 10 years of my uh career as a writer.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I normally, every time I won an award or every time I got some sort of something published, I always made sure when I posted on social media that I tagged her in it because not because I wanted to brag, but rather to give her credit for the ways in which she really helped me in my journey.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I because to me, I felt like that was that was my six, my success was her success in my mind.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I say that because as parents, we are taught in this world to kind of do life on our own.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there used to be a time in our country many decades ago where uh it took a village and neighbors came and told you when your kids were not doing the right thing, or they would watch their kids for you, or you'd have your church family and they would come help you during a time of distress.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: You had a new baby and people would love on you with meals and and uh visits and help you kind of sort through these new life transitions and parenting.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so often we do things in a vacuum now, and we do things as isolated in this world.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the Bible has something to say about the beauty of each other and how we're supposed to really fan the flame of faith and leave a legacy of faith to our children.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you find that in 2 Timothy uh chapter one.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it starts a little bit in the beginning in verse 5 where it says, I am reminded of your sincere faith.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, this is Paul talking to Timothy, who Paul was his mentor, really.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Timothy wouldn't be where he was without Paul, uh, who says, But first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded now lives in you also.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Then it goes on to say, For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: And he talks about the spirit uh of God, not getting this to be one of timidity, but one of courage and strength and self-discipline.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's so important to consider when we think about leaving the legacy of faith uh for our kids.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: I certainly don't come on here as any expert.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: I have two adult children now.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, my son Caleb is going to Libera University.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and uh my daughter Leah, right now she's serving in a Christian camp about four hours from here, and then she'll come home and then she starts her college journey at Houghton University.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: So we are ecstatic that both of our kids at least want to try to walk in the faith and follow in our footsteps.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I certainly don't come here.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: I I have some tips to share, but I don't come here as some sort of magic formula.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's no, if you just do these three things that everything's gonna turn out okay uh for you and your kids, because there certainly are no guarantees.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I have learned a few things uh in the 20 some odd years that I've been raising kids, and especially as a pastor's wife, um, I've been a pastor's wife for almost 25 years.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: And uh so I've learned a few things about the beauty of what it means to kind of leave a legacy of faith for your kids, especially given the pressures that my kids had to additionally endure being pastors' kids.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so the first tip I wanted to share was to differentiate Sunday from the everyday.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one of the biggest needs of children and youth of this generation is that they really need to learn how to discern between what the world says is right and wrong and what God says is right and wrong.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I think my first application in terms of that tip, first of all, if you're not in a local church body, it's so important to get into one.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um Hebrews 10.25 tells us we should not give up the habit of meeting together.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's so important to kind of leaving that legacy.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: You really can't leave a legacy of faith if um if you make more room for other activities than you do for church.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think if you make church and God a priority, that your kids will sometimes follow in that.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um so I think that is a very big need.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: But we also, I also have found, and I've my husband's pastor at probably five or six churches now.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And uh what we have found is that, especially in the like youth group and like children's church, that they're very separate entities from the normal church service.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it that is not helpful to kids uh when it comes to um fanning the flame.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: They really need to get plugged in with mentors and people that were going to help them.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Kids today learn more from their Instagram feed than they do from their Bibles, and they watch more YouTube than they watch sermons.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that is sad, but at the same time, it's the world we're living in.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so we as parents have to understand that and embrace that.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And there are ways to embrace that.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, get your kids into a group chat where they're hanging out with kids and chatting with kids that are hungry for the faith.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: It does make a difference who they hang out with.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: Allow them to get involved in the youth group, allow them to become like a makeshift leader when they're old enough and mentor some of the younger kids that are coming through.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: Let them have a firsthand experience when it comes to youth group and children's church.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And then when they get older, they're naturally plugged into a church so that when they turn 18, they're more than likely going to want to continue either A in that local church or find a local church where they can serve because it's been a natural part of who they are.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that was something that we always made a priority.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And our kids really never, they never balked at that, which I was really happy about.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, my second tip is really just to be the example.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we have to be the example for our kids.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and certainly doesn't mean we have to be perfect by any stretch.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: But again, if we're trying to follow the Lord, if we're reading out the word, if we're applying it every day, we need to be able to show our kids that we uh can be an example that they can follow.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um, children live what they learn.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: And if we're not teaching them what an example looks like, if we're not in prayer together, if we're not making the word in prayer and spiritual disciplines and growing in our faith a priority, more than likely your kids are not going to follow suit.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so again, it's certainly not a merit of perfection by any means, but at the same time, we have to do our best to make God a priority and be open and honest uh with our kids about who God is and who we are in the midst of that.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: And the third tip is just to let them be them.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was one good thing that we did uh with our kids uh growing up, um, that we did well, especially as pastors' kids, is we never put uh expectations on them.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: They were allowed to be themselves.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't have to serve in any capacity, although they could.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and if they wanted to wear some wacky outfit that day to church, I let them within reason and I let them explore and kind of be who they were without allowing the expectations of a church body to kind of squash uh their love for God and for church.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like both my kids, my son was born four weeks early, and I had him the day after I was at worship team practice.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I, if it would have been a few hours earlier, I could have had him right on the altar.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: So church and spirituality was always very important to us uh as a family, and I think we always made that a priority.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think you have to let them be them, and they're gonna have questions and they're gonna have doubts.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Both of my kids have had crisis moments of faith and uh they've come through it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I do think it's important just to allow them to be where they are.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think one good thing we did for them, uh both when they turned 16, is we had what we call the blessing ceremony.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: And we had the elders of the church and some people who were really close to them come to the church.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: We had music, both my husband and I shared good things about our kids.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then at the end, we had both um the elders in the leadership line up at the aisle of the church, and we had our kids go to the very end, and they every step they took, they had people lay hands on them and say a blessing, curve blessing over them.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then when they got to us, we gave them a necklace, a cross necklace, and we told them that this from this day forward that we would not um we would not need for them to uh I we would not be making them go to church anymore.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: That was their choice.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: They were old enough, they had seen the example.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: We told them we would be going to church.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: There would be no no ifs, ands, or buts about that, but that they could make their choice.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: I would not be waking them up anymore.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: They both had cars, they could drive.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, guys, you need to make your choice.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And thank goodness both of them have chosen that.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I do think that really did make a difference, especially for pastors' kids, is they got to make the choice whether they wanted to follow the Lord or not, or whether mom and dad were making them.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was a big a big turning point for both my kids when it came, is that they actively had to make that choice.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I just I just come with those three things today, just to encourage everybody that it is possible to leave that legacy.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but at the same time, um, it's important for us to kind of lead the way uh when it comes to leaving that legacy of faith.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Those were great tips, Michelle.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: I really like that blessing thing that you did with your kids at 16.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's just something that would be great for churches to do, and even parents, you know, with with other people.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: But and then, you know, it's true.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: The generation, my I have a a grown, a grown married daughter too, and the generation I raised her in is not the generation we're in today.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just it's so different.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And like you said, we have to adapt to that.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: We have to realize that our kids are on social media probably more than any any other generation.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So um, those tips were very helpful.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for being on and sharing with us today.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for having me.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I I consider it an honor.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.