Latest / The You Project / #1659 What They Should Teach You At School, But Don't - Harps (PT2)

Transcript

#1659 What They Should Teach You At School, But Don't - Harps (PT2) · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: Go your bloody champs. Hope you're terrific. It is it's
0:03
Speaker 1: Grand Final Day. I don't know why I'm telling you that,
0:05
Speaker 1: but it's bloody Grand Final day. It's Grand Final afternoon.
0:08
Speaker 1: And because I'm a loser, no not and say that
0:14
Speaker 1: about yourself, Harps. It's it's the GF here in Melbourne,
0:19
Speaker 1: the thriving tropolis of Melbourne, the one of the sporting
0:22
Speaker 1: events that brings the nation to a standstill, allegedly, and
0:28
Speaker 1: here I am recording a potty because it can, because
0:31
Speaker 1: a bloody can. It's just how I roll and if
0:33
Speaker 1: i'm if I'm time efficient and energy efficient. It's one
0:39
Speaker 1: thirty three. I'll get this done in thirty odd minutes.
0:42
Speaker 1: You can have a little listen and I'll go and
0:45
Speaker 1: watch the GF or some of the GF. You know
0:49
Speaker 1: what else it is? I actually forgot about this. It's
0:53
Speaker 1: me Birthdy. It's me Birthdy, and I don't like lots
0:58
Speaker 1: of attention on me Birthdy, which is good. That's why
1:01
Speaker 1: I'm telling you now, because by the time you hear
1:04
Speaker 1: that it's me Birthdy, it's gone, which works well for me.
1:07
Speaker 1: I don't know why, and I'm not saying that insincerely
1:11
Speaker 1: meaning I actually really I actually if nobody knew for me.
1:16
Speaker 1: I don't know what that's about. It's probably some deep
1:18
Speaker 1: seated issue, but I kind of I kind of like
1:22
Speaker 1: the non fuss. So anyway, sadday afternoon, sharing some thoughts
1:29
Speaker 1: and ideas with you about this door that I opened
1:34
Speaker 1: yesterday on this topic, which is what they should teach
1:38
Speaker 1: you at school but don't. And when I say they
1:44
Speaker 1: should teach you at school, I'm not really being serious.
1:47
Speaker 1: I'm just talking about some of the lessons and insights
1:51
Speaker 1: and truths that kids don't seem to get taught at
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Speaker 1: school or at home quite off and learn later on
2:02
Speaker 1: in life, not always in a fun, enjoyable way. And yes,
2:09
Speaker 1: we need to learn through pain and uncertainty and discomfort
2:12
Speaker 1: and piques and trust, we do need that, But there's
2:15
Speaker 1: also some pretty simple but powerful life lessons that we
2:20
Speaker 1: could share with kids. Not that it's going to make
2:24
Speaker 1: their life painless or smooth or a perpetual Disney kind
2:28
Speaker 1: of movie, but what it might do is make them
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Speaker 1: more prepared, more practical, more realistic, and more aware of
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Speaker 1: what might be coming down the pipe, so to speak.
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Speaker 1: So yesterday we did six and as I said, yes,
2:46
Speaker 1: say this non indictment on the academic system. I don't
2:49
Speaker 1: think these things really necessarily should be taught in schools.
2:52
Speaker 1: I just think kids somewhere, somehow should hear some of
2:55
Speaker 1: these messages because I think they're valuable for kids. So
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Speaker 1: that the six went through yesterday as a recap. One,
3:03
Speaker 1: life doesn't care about your feelings, self esteem, health, happiness
3:06
Speaker 1: to Statistically, you're quite likely to end up unhealthy and
3:11
Speaker 1: or in debt and or divorced, perhaps more than you
3:15
Speaker 1: are happily married, healthy, and financially secure. We backed all
3:18
Speaker 1: this up with statu yes day. And that's not an
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Speaker 1: uplifting message. Nonetheless, it's true, and I think truth is good.
3:26
Speaker 1: Number three, the path to success is rarely easy, fun
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Speaker 1: or comfortable. Doesn't mean there's not fun or there's not comfort,
3:35
Speaker 1: or it's not a party now and then. But it's
3:37
Speaker 1: never all that all the time. We know that, and
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Speaker 1: I think that's a good lesson for kids to learn.
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Speaker 1: Number four was you can't do anything, as in all things,
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Speaker 1: anything you choose, you can't do anything you set your
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Speaker 1: mind to. And the message, the messaging for some people
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Speaker 1: from some people is whatever you want to do you
3:58
Speaker 1: can do it. And as I said yesterday, it sounds
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Speaker 1: nice and it makes people maybe it makes people feel
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Speaker 1: momentarily good. But telling everyone that anything is possible, not
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Speaker 1: only is it not true, which is not a good start,
4:14
Speaker 1: but it sets people up for frustration and disappointment and resentment.
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Speaker 1: And while yes, most people can do more than they're
4:21
Speaker 1: currently doing, and most people can if they really work hard,
4:25
Speaker 1: roll up their sleeves, be brave, be resilient, and lean
4:28
Speaker 1: into their potential. Most people can do some pretty amazing shit,
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Speaker 1: but not everyone can do anything they set their mind to,
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Speaker 1: And so we want to encourage and support kids, but
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Speaker 1: we also want to be practical. Number five was sometimes
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Speaker 1: the people who will undermine, backstab and sabotage you will
4:46
Speaker 1: be family and friends. Number six was and we know
4:50
Speaker 1: that number six was. Your intentions are often not someone
4:53
Speaker 1: else's experiences, and that is people are not necessari the
5:01
Speaker 1: getting what you think you're giving them, and at some
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Speaker 1: stage your good intentions will absolutely produce bad results or
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Speaker 1: a bad outcome. All right, I'm with today, So number
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Speaker 1: seven on our list across the two days. Number sevent
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Speaker 1: is bad things happen to good people, and weirdly good
5:22
Speaker 1: things sometimes happen to bad people. Don't ask me, Take
5:26
Speaker 1: it up with God or the universe or whoever your
5:28
Speaker 1: bloody high power or deity, deity of choices. But bad
5:33
Speaker 1: things happen to good people, and weirdly, good things sometimes
5:36
Speaker 1: happen to bad people. You might never understand that, and
5:39
Speaker 1: you'll definitely never change it. So invest your mental and
5:44
Speaker 1: emotional energy where you will get the best return. I've
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Speaker 1: had awesome friends of mine, great people, beautiful human beings
5:53
Speaker 1: die who through a range of things, and so have you.
6:01
Speaker 1: But moving through life with this awareness and this not
6:06
Speaker 1: so this is a burden on our shoulder, but just
6:09
Speaker 1: maybe maybe so that it gives us. Like for me,
6:14
Speaker 1: what this knowledge does is it gives me a perspective
6:19
Speaker 1: that every day is a gift. And I know that
6:20
Speaker 1: sounds cheesy. I know it sounds cheesy, but you know,
6:25
Speaker 1: right now I'm working with helping a few people I
6:28
Speaker 1: should say, probably five or six people whose lives are
6:33
Speaker 1: very difficult for a range of different reasons. I don't
6:36
Speaker 1: mean you run in the mill kind of garden variety
6:41
Speaker 1: issues and problems. I mean really really difficult. And when
6:46
Speaker 1: you know, when I work with these people hopefully I'm
6:48
Speaker 1: helpful and valuable to them. But when I work with
6:51
Speaker 1: these people, apart from the joy that I have with
6:54
Speaker 1: the connection and the involvement and the support that I
6:58
Speaker 1: can hopefully bring to them, it's a blessing for me
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Speaker 1: because it gives me a level of awareness and perspective
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Speaker 1: and gratitude for how few problems I actually have. And
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Speaker 1: so I think, you know, while we don't want to
7:12
Speaker 1: scare the bejeebas out of kids at all, we want
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Speaker 1: to let him know that not anything or not everything
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Speaker 1: perhaps is guaranteed. You know, one of my best friends
7:25
Speaker 1: in the world who worked with me. He was my
7:27
Speaker 1: first personal trainer, as in, he was my first worked
7:30
Speaker 1: for me trainer, my first employee, Maddie, amazing human being.
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Speaker 1: We trained together every day, We ate breakfast and lunch
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Speaker 1: together together every day. Were joined at the hip. And
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Speaker 1: he died at the age of I think twenty four,
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Speaker 1: and he never got to live his whole life. And
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Speaker 1: I think about him every single day. And he was
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Speaker 1: an awesome person. He was a beautiful human being, and
7:57
Speaker 1: he ain't here anymore. And while we don't want to
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Speaker 1: be more and we don't want to make people sad,
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Speaker 1: I think it's great that we're practical and we're down
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Speaker 1: to earth and we teach not just kids but grown
8:07
Speaker 1: ups that, hey, can you breathe? Can you walk? Can
8:10
Speaker 1: you turn on the tap and get cold water? Can
8:12
Speaker 1: you turn on a share and have hot water? Can
8:15
Speaker 1: you open a fridge and get food? Do you have
8:18
Speaker 1: at least one or two or three people who love
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Speaker 1: you? You know? Does your spine work, does your brain work?
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Speaker 1: You know? Are you for the most part healthy, Then
8:28
Speaker 1: that's great. Your life is awesome, or at the very
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Speaker 1: least you've got a great running start to life. Number
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Speaker 1: eight is and this is really a self awareness thing,
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Speaker 1: which I think teaching self awareness, situational and social awareness
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Speaker 1: for kids is really really potentially powerful and transformational. The
8:53
Speaker 1: number eight is the only person living in your version
8:56
Speaker 1: of the world is you. Your personal reality is a
9:02
Speaker 1: subjective interpretation of and response to the events, situations, environments,
9:07
Speaker 1: and outcomes you find yourself in the middle of. In
9:12
Speaker 1: other words, your version of the world is a story
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Speaker 1: that you tell yourself as a byproduct of the window
9:20
Speaker 1: through which you view the world. So let's use this
9:22
Speaker 1: metaphor of a window. We all have a window through
9:25
Speaker 1: which we individually view the world. Your window is not mine.
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Speaker 1: Yours is not the bloke across the road or the
9:34
Speaker 1: lady across the road. And so we all have our
9:36
Speaker 1: own window because our window is a byproduct or the filter,
9:40
Speaker 1: the window, whatever you want to call it, the thing
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Speaker 1: through which we evaluate and view and disseminate and make
9:46
Speaker 1: sense of the world around us. That is a byproduct
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Speaker 1: of where we've been and what we've seen and what
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Speaker 1: we've been through, and beliefs and values and experiences and
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Speaker 1: faith and all that kind of stuff and everyone, you know.
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Speaker 1: So if you're a t you're up the front of
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Speaker 1: a classroom and you've got thirty kids in there, you've
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Speaker 1: got thirty kids having a different experience. They're all in
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Speaker 1: the same room at the same time, listening to the
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Speaker 1: same teacher, and they're all in the same practical physical reality,
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Speaker 1: but none of them are in the same psychological, sociological, emotional,
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Speaker 1: or experiential reality in real time. And it's fucking important.
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Speaker 1: Not that we understand this down to the PhD level,
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Speaker 1: but it's important that kids go, oh, people think differently
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Speaker 1: to me. Just because I think this doesn't mean they
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Speaker 1: think this. Just because my intention is good, that doesn't
10:38
Speaker 1: mean their experience will be good. So having this understanding
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Speaker 1: and applying this in real time, this kind of bigger
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Speaker 1: than you awareness. It's a conduit to better communication, to
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Speaker 1: problem solving, to conflict resolution, to situational awareness, and to
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Speaker 1: more productive, more valuable, and meaningful social outcomes. So, and
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Speaker 1: this is where we teach kids the space between your
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Speaker 1: world and their world. Metacognition, thinking about your thinking, theory
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Speaker 1: of mind, thinking about their thinking. Number nine, speaking of thinking,
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Speaker 1: is that you and me we have all been programmed.
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Speaker 1: We've all been programmed by the experiences of our life
11:33
Speaker 1: up until this point in time listening to this podcast.
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Speaker 1: Wherever you're at, So, whatever you've been through, what school
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Speaker 1: you went to, what books you've read, what media you
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Speaker 1: pay attention to, what social media you pay attention to,
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Speaker 1: what religion or lack of religion. You grew up in
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Speaker 1: the way that your family communicated and socialized and interacted
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Speaker 1: or didn't interact with other families, The type of food
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Speaker 1: you ate, the cultural influences. All of those things have programmed,
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Speaker 1: or let's say less dramatically influenced significantly the way that
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Speaker 1: you think. And when we realize that the way that
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Speaker 1: we think, remember thinking about thinking metacognition. When we realize
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Speaker 1: that the way that we think, if I personalize it,
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Speaker 1: when I realize that the way that I think is
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Speaker 1: a little bit about my genetics and who I am
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Speaker 1: in terms of DNA and just what I was born with.
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Speaker 1: It's a little bit about that, maybe twenty percent, but
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Speaker 1: it's a lot, maybe eighty percent, a byproduct of everything
12:46
Speaker 1: I've been through, all those things I just described to you.
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Speaker 1: And so this is not something to worry about, because
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Speaker 1: this is not a bad thing. This is a human thing.
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Speaker 1: But what we can do now is we can start
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Speaker 1: to open We can start to open the consciousness door.
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Speaker 1: And the consciousness door is for me. My definition is
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Speaker 1: where my programming finishes and I start. So where is
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Speaker 1: the where is the cognitive cerebral real estate of mine
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Speaker 1: that exists separate to the programmed me, the one that's
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Speaker 1: been taught and told and trained and programmed what to think,
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Speaker 1: not taught how to think, teaching someone how to think,
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Speaker 1: how to think critically, how to disseminate information in an
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Speaker 1: unbiased way in an objective manner, how to arrive at
13:52
Speaker 1: our own conclusions and thoughts and evaluations, and beliefs. This
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Speaker 1: is this is a big deal, this is a big challenge,
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Speaker 1: and it's almost impossible. It is almost impossible to be
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Speaker 1: objective because even though I'm talking to you about this,
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Speaker 1: and even though we understand this the concept objective subjective.
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Speaker 1: Something happened. Craig picked up his thing of chewy, he
14:25
Speaker 1: dropped it. That's an objective event. Then there's the subjective
14:31
Speaker 1: experience of what happened. I don't know if you heard
14:33
Speaker 1: that I just dropped something. It's a terrible example if
14:35
Speaker 1: you didn't hear it. But then there's the subjective experience
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Speaker 1: around that, Oh that was noisy, Oh that that was annoying,
14:42
Speaker 1: or that didn't sound like a box of chewy or
14:47
Speaker 1: whatever it is. It's just so there's the thing that
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Speaker 1: happens in our world, then there's our subjective interpretation of it,
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Speaker 1: and for us to be able to realize that, by
14:58
Speaker 1: the way, can we be objective on any level? Of
15:00
Speaker 1: course we can, and I believe the path to I
15:02
Speaker 1: don't think we can ever be completely objective because we're
15:05
Speaker 1: always going to have certain ideas and beliefs and values
15:09
Speaker 1: and expectations and standards and knowledge or what we believe
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Speaker 1: to be knowledge anyway. But I think what we can
15:18
Speaker 1: do is we can become less intertwined with being right,
15:27
Speaker 1: less identified by our beliefs and our thinking and our
15:34
Speaker 1: need to be As I said right. So I've never
15:40
Speaker 1: been less sure of things than right now in my life,
15:48
Speaker 1: which doesn't mean I don't have absolute thoughts and ideas
15:51
Speaker 1: and beliefs. But those thoughts and ideas and beliefs, I
15:55
Speaker 1: hold on to them loosely because I know. I know
16:01
Speaker 1: that I can be wrong. I know that I am
16:03
Speaker 1: probably wrong about several things, even right. Things that I
16:08
Speaker 1: currently think nothing comes to mind, but I'm sure there
16:11
Speaker 1: are attitudes, opinions, ideas, beliefs. What I think is knowledge,
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Speaker 1: But isn't that I currently have that currently resides in
16:20
Speaker 1: my cerebral HQ that is actually somewhere between a little
16:25
Speaker 1: bit wrong and complete bullshit. But I don't yet know it.
16:28
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. I'm okay with that, and I
16:32
Speaker 1: have to be okay with it because if I'm not
16:34
Speaker 1: okay with it, then one I'm a fraud to all
16:37
Speaker 1: of you. And two, if I'm not okay with it,
16:40
Speaker 1: then now I'm unteachable because I fucking know everything. So
16:44
Speaker 1: remember your thinking is not always your thinking. Number ten.
16:54
Speaker 1: This a little bit tough, but I think some of
16:56
Speaker 1: you will resonate with the thought. Over your lifetime. Many
17:01
Speaker 1: people will pretend to care about you because at that
17:05
Speaker 1: point in time you serve a purpose and or are
17:09
Speaker 1: valuable to them in some way. So what am I saying?
17:15
Speaker 1: There's going to be people who come into your life
17:16
Speaker 1: that will play the role of a friend or someone
17:19
Speaker 1: who cares. They will have the persona that you are
17:23
Speaker 1: important to them, that they love you, that they care
17:27
Speaker 1: about you. But you will find out at some stage
17:31
Speaker 1: down the track either that wasn't true at all, or
17:35
Speaker 1: it was not totally true, or maybe at one stage
17:39
Speaker 1: they did, but that changed, And so you know, this
17:43
Speaker 1: is not now kindness or love or friendship. This is
17:48
Speaker 1: now a strategic alliance. This is now somebody being a
17:52
Speaker 1: persona not a person. And I've had this many times
17:57
Speaker 1: and I still have it, where people will role play
18:00
Speaker 1: friendship to me because I know that at this point
18:04
Speaker 1: in time I can open doors for them that are
18:07
Speaker 1: valuable to them. So they're all super friendly and gushy,
18:11
Speaker 1: borderline creepy, But I know exactly what's going on. And
18:16
Speaker 1: I only know that because I've had that happen a lot.
18:18
Speaker 1: I'm sure you've had it as well. And having said that,
18:24
Speaker 1: I think there are times when you will have relationships
18:28
Speaker 1: with people which are primarily strategic in nature. And that's okay,
18:33
Speaker 1: because you will serve a purpose for them, they will
18:36
Speaker 1: serve a purpose for you. It's a win win. It's
18:39
Speaker 1: not necessarily a straight friendship, although you might get on well.
18:45
Speaker 1: It's more a strategic alliance or partnership, and everyone knows
18:49
Speaker 1: what it is, and that's cool. But what I'm talking
18:51
Speaker 1: about today, in this moment is the people who, over
18:55
Speaker 1: the course of your lifetime, will pretend that they care,
18:58
Speaker 1: but when the shit hits the fan, you know that
19:00
Speaker 1: they don't, or it's evident that they don't. Now, we're
19:03
Speaker 1: not feeling sorry for ourselves about this. We're not going
19:06
Speaker 1: whoy with me. We're going that's okay, that's part of
19:08
Speaker 1: the human experience. That's fine. But what a couple of
19:11
Speaker 1: things are going to happen. One is I'm going to
19:14
Speaker 1: do my very best not to be that. I don't
19:16
Speaker 1: want to be that in anyone else. I don't want
19:18
Speaker 1: to be that person who's using somebody. And this is
19:22
Speaker 1: a hard self inventory to do, because I think we've
19:27
Speaker 1: all done it. Have I Craig Anthony Harper birthday Boy?
19:33
Speaker 1: Have I ever taken advantage of somebody or or kept
19:39
Speaker 1: a relationship afloat because they were in some way helpful
19:45
Speaker 1: or valuable to me? I would be lying if I
19:49
Speaker 1: said I hadn't. I'm not doing that at the moment
19:53
Speaker 1: that I'm aware of. I don't do that that I'm
19:55
Speaker 1: aware of. I'm aware of this particular thing, and so
20:01
Speaker 1: I work very hard to be the person that is
20:06
Speaker 1: of value and service to others. Having said that, I
20:14
Speaker 1: don't want people to take the piss, and I will
20:16
Speaker 1: not let people take the piss. I will definitely help people,
20:21
Speaker 1: look after people, encourage and support people where there's nothing
20:25
Speaker 1: in it return in return for me, of course, because
20:28
Speaker 1: that's called love and kindness. But when somebody is role
20:32
Speaker 1: playing or feigning that they care about me, that we
20:36
Speaker 1: have some kind of special connection or bond, which I
20:40
Speaker 1: know is bullshit, I shut that down, and I shut
20:45
Speaker 1: that down because I just won't. You're probably going, how
20:47
Speaker 1: do you do that? I just don't play along. I
20:50
Speaker 1: just don't play along. I don't I whatever it is
20:53
Speaker 1: that they want from me, I cut off access to
20:56
Speaker 1: that because I'm a good guy. I won't be used
21:01
Speaker 1: and manipulated for a range of reasons, for a range
21:04
Speaker 1: of reasons. Number eleven is this not being good at school,
21:10
Speaker 1: And this is good news for me. Not being good
21:12
Speaker 1: at school or sport or creative stuff, for tech stuff
21:15
Speaker 1: or fucking fill in the blank. Not being good at
21:17
Speaker 1: certain things at school doesn't mean you can't be awesome
21:21
Speaker 1: at life. How good is that? How good is it
21:25
Speaker 1: that you can be you know, even the kid that
21:28
Speaker 1: got picked on or the kids that got picked on
21:30
Speaker 1: or the kid that got you know, like, by the way,
21:34
Speaker 1: my school wasn't hard, but I was literally the kid
21:36
Speaker 1: that got picked last for sporting teams and all that shit, right,
21:40
Speaker 1: But that kid, those kids can be fucking rock stars
21:47
Speaker 1: in life. You whether or not, you know, not being
21:49
Speaker 1: great academically for example, or not being a brilliant athlete
21:54
Speaker 1: for example, or not being a musical or creative genius
21:57
Speaker 1: for example, or even not being popular at school, it
22:02
Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily indicate anything for the future. And I would say,
22:08
Speaker 1: and this sounds kind of a little bit like bullshit,
22:11
Speaker 1: but for me, this has been true anyway, For me,
22:15
Speaker 1: this was true, and so I know that it can
22:17
Speaker 1: be true for others. My mediocrity, my averageness, my inability
22:23
Speaker 1: to excel at stuff naturally. For me, that was a superpower,
22:29
Speaker 1: and it was a superpower because it made me realize
22:33
Speaker 1: early that I would never be a high achiever, a
22:38
Speaker 1: high performer, or successful in inverted commas, whatever that means.
22:42
Speaker 1: But I realized that I would never just fucking land
22:44
Speaker 1: on my feet. And I realized this quite early because
22:48
Speaker 1: I looked around me at kids who are more talented, smarter,
22:53
Speaker 1: better looking, better genetics, all that stuff, right, I looked
22:56
Speaker 1: at those kids and there wasn't jealousy or resembs, but
23:00
Speaker 1: there was awareness. I'm like, well, that motherfucker can run
23:03
Speaker 1: one hundred meters in eleven seconds, you know, three minutes
23:07
Speaker 1: after he's eaten a bloody hamburger. I could train for
23:10
Speaker 1: a year, and I couldn't do that, right, So for me,
23:13
Speaker 1: it was just an awareness when I would see what
23:18
Speaker 1: other people could do with little or no efforts, some effort,
23:21
Speaker 1: and of course there were people who made lots of effort.
23:24
Speaker 1: But I was surrounded not constantly, but you know, reasonably regularly.
23:28
Speaker 1: I was surrounded by people who were just really quite gifted,
23:31
Speaker 1: quite smart, quite blessed in all of those things, and
23:35
Speaker 1: good on them. And that's amazing. I think that, you know,
23:39
Speaker 1: for me, that the fact that I didn't have that
23:42
Speaker 1: running start with all of these innate abilities or gifts,
23:47
Speaker 1: that was my superpower. That was my fuel, that was
23:49
Speaker 1: my motivation, that was my reason. It's what got me going,
23:54
Speaker 1: It's what it was my compelling force. You know, I
23:59
Speaker 1: knew that I wouldn't succeed because I had some amazing
24:03
Speaker 1: unfair advantage over the other kids, you know, be that academic, intellectual, genetic, creative, whatever.
24:09
Speaker 1: I knew that. I knew that for me it was
24:13
Speaker 1: going to be about work, self controlled discipline. But I also,
24:17
Speaker 1: I don't know why, but the times where I really
24:22
Speaker 1: did set my mind to something, I actually produced some
24:25
Speaker 1: good results. So I had I had a few wins
24:29
Speaker 1: on the board, but I also had a bunch of
24:32
Speaker 1: losses on the board. And so the good news is
24:35
Speaker 1: the good news is if you're shit at school, if
24:39
Speaker 1: you don't love school, if you're not the bloody, prettiest
24:42
Speaker 1: or handsomest or fucking whateverest doesn't matter. Like and this
24:47
Speaker 1: is not me trying to make people feel good. The
24:49
Speaker 1: problem is some people get destroyed for life before they
24:54
Speaker 1: even fucking start life in a way. And this is
25:00
Speaker 1: obvious with the amount of mental health issues and even
25:04
Speaker 1: tragically teen suicide that's happening. We see all these numbers
25:08
Speaker 1: go up. It's so tragic, it's so it's so sad,
25:14
Speaker 1: and I wish. I don't know, if you're a teacher
25:18
Speaker 1: listening to this and you don't live a million miles away,
25:24
Speaker 1: or you're a principal, hit me up with an email
25:28
Speaker 1: if you would like me to, I don't know, do
25:30
Speaker 1: a talk or something. You know, I can't do a
25:32
Speaker 1: million talks, but I can definitely do one or two
25:36
Speaker 1: for me. It's just really really important that kids that
25:39
Speaker 1: all kids talented, not talented, you know, academically brilliant, strugglers,
25:44
Speaker 1: battlers or everyone. You know, we're not just like we
25:47
Speaker 1: care about because even some of the gifted kids still
25:50
Speaker 1: struggle mentally and emotionally. We know that. And the last
25:53
Speaker 1: one for today is sometimes success is got nothing to
26:00
Speaker 1: do with money or staff or winning. I mean, think
26:07
Speaker 1: about how many people are ticking for one of better term,
26:10
Speaker 1: are ticking the success box, but are simultaneously unhappy. So
26:18
Speaker 1: many people are from the outside looking in they are successful.
26:23
Speaker 1: And if you evaluated their career or their financial situational
26:28
Speaker 1: status or brand or bloody even their physical appearance, Like
26:32
Speaker 1: for a lot of people, you go, wow, they're successful
26:35
Speaker 1: because we evaluate success by these observable, measurable KPIs. They own, that,
26:41
Speaker 1: they drive, that they live there. She is gorgeous, he
26:43
Speaker 1: is handsome. Their kids are fucking superstars. Oh he's going
26:47
Speaker 1: to get drafted into the AFL. She's got a singing career. Bibody,
26:52
Speaker 1: bobbody boo. Tick all the boxes, what a Hollywood beautiful, amazing,
26:57
Speaker 1: successful family. But behind the image and the kpiyes of
27:02
Speaker 1: success and all the box ticking is misery. Sometimes his
27:07
Speaker 1: loneliness is, frustration is depression, anxiety is inability to sleep
27:11
Speaker 1: is social, emotional and psychological dysfunction. There is nothing wrong
27:20
Speaker 1: with making lots of dough and driving a good car
27:22
Speaker 1: and living in a good house, of course, and I'm
27:26
Speaker 1: not telling you what your measurement of success should be.
27:30
Speaker 1: Success is individual. For somebody running ten k's in an
27:35
Speaker 1: hour is bloody amazing. For someone else that's devastatingly slow,
27:39
Speaker 1: they get the same outcome, and one is happy and
27:42
Speaker 1: one is sad. For somebody to make two thousand dollars
27:45
Speaker 1: in a week would be mind blowingly incredible. For somebody
27:49
Speaker 1: else the same number in the same amount of time,
27:54
Speaker 1: two grand in a week would not be enough to
27:56
Speaker 1: cover their expenses. Right, So different things have different meanings
28:03
Speaker 1: to different people. So that the same whatever, the same
28:05
Speaker 1: outcome two grand, one hour run. You know, somebody gets
28:09
Speaker 1: a science degree, somebody's delirious with it, somebody thinks it
28:14
Speaker 1: was a waste of four years. Whatever. It's all about
28:17
Speaker 1: what it means to that individual. So wealth doesn't always
28:23
Speaker 1: look like money. Wealth doesn't always look like stuff like
28:32
Speaker 1: for me personally. Again, these are just If you find
28:36
Speaker 1: my personal examples boring, I apologize, but I can't talk
28:42
Speaker 1: too broadly about too many other people because it ain't fair.
28:44
Speaker 1: But for me, you know, when I was in my
28:47
Speaker 1: early thirties, I was ticking what would be considered to
28:50
Speaker 1: be nearly all of the success boxes. I was going
28:54
Speaker 1: from the outside looking in, I was going great. But
28:57
Speaker 1: while I was going great, while I was driving this
28:59
Speaker 1: and living and owning that and earning that and looking
29:01
Speaker 1: like that, while I was ticking all those boxes. In
29:04
Speaker 1: the middle of all of that, I personally was spiritually, emotionally,
29:09
Speaker 1: and mentally bankrupt. I was fucking behind the curtain, behind
29:16
Speaker 1: the public curtain, behind the success persona, away from the
29:21
Speaker 1: fucking Craig show. I was shit. I wasn't successful at all.
29:27
Speaker 1: I had the representation of success, but I didn't have
29:31
Speaker 1: the experience. And I was really good at hiding that
29:37
Speaker 1: from people. And people would be like, Wow, you're killing it.
29:40
Speaker 1: You're this, You're that. I'm like, thank you, thank you.
29:43
Speaker 1: I know it's fucking amazing, and through their eyes, based
29:48
Speaker 1: on what they were seeing, they were right. But the
29:52
Speaker 1: truth was that the personal truth for me was away
29:55
Speaker 1: from the razzle dazzle and the Craig Show and the
29:58
Speaker 1: smoke and mirrors. I wasn't successful at all. I was sad.
30:04
Speaker 1: I was anxious. I was not sleeping. I was questioning
30:09
Speaker 1: what the fuck I was doing, even though it was
30:11
Speaker 1: all working. I was living out of alignment. And so
30:17
Speaker 1: while we all need the resource of money, of course,
30:20
Speaker 1: we need dough, of course we need stuff to function
30:23
Speaker 1: in society. But for me, happiness and contentment and calm,
30:29
Speaker 1: or we might say the absence of anxiety. That's generally,
30:34
Speaker 1: and this is what people really want. What people Yes,
30:37
Speaker 1: we need to pay the bills and feed the kids
30:39
Speaker 1: and educate. Well, of course, of course we need that,
30:43
Speaker 1: But the people that I talk to, it's not generally.
30:47
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's that, but most of the people I talk
30:50
Speaker 1: to most of the time, success for them is really
30:54
Speaker 1: about their internal state, not the external show. It's really
30:58
Speaker 1: about mental, emotional, and social wealth. It's about being the
31:06
Speaker 1: calm and the chaos. It's about being able to exhale.
31:14
Speaker 1: See you next time.