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Transcript

LET GO OF WHATEVER'S HOLDING YOU BACK · Blind But Now I See

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Back, got it for another episode of the Blonde by
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Line Show. I am your host, FOBC note the hood,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Ray Charles, Blonde Poppy. If you nasty the hood, I
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: said that Ray Charles, the voice of Disabls, the official
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: blonde stuffer. And you already know where. We're at, two
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: sixty five Canal Street. WTF Media studio where magic happens.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Especially every time I sit on this coaracter, I create
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: magic and I'm locked on my boy Wolf producer, engineer.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: You already know it.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Man and the guests on the show again today.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Welcome back to the studio.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Man, Come on, man, we're working over time. We're putting
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: this on pain. I mean, I'm happy to be the
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: voice to a lot of people out there. That's saving lives,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: that's touching people, that's giving people alive to motivate mad
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: different shit. I'm just going through different shop, ain't. I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: got a lot of disabled people on my Instagram too.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I'm building to Oh and it's crazy. We're gonna talk more.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: It's a blonde photographer.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: What the fuck? Yo, bro?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I was trying to figure it out,
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: but he sent me a firm request and I'm like
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: is he this nigga really blind?
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what the fuck?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Bro? I said? My mom said, Yo, he's a blind photographer.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I said, his pictures come out good too. I'm like,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, I'm blind. And in some questions, I'm like,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: all right, come on, people, I said, how the fuck
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: do he do photography?
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what do you know?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I'm like, is it a tunnel vision or yeh?
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: What where does the satisfaction come from? Because you don't
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: even see it?
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Yo, I don't get it. Yeah, But if it's right
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: and he's really right, blind man, come take a picture
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: of a blond man. Do a photo.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Shit.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Just locked this shit in. But today's episode, we're gonna
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: talk about when is We're gonna talk about different things.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: We're gonna hop around you feel me. But the first
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: question I want to ask what is when it's Let's
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: see how you can put this question. When is it
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: time to let go? Like when have you held on
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: a little too long? Whether it's a job, whether it's
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: a relationship, whether it's a friendship, Like, when is it
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: a time to let go?
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, so letting go? Can it can pertain to
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: a lot of different things. It could pertain to regrets,
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: it could pertain to depression, It could pertain to a heartache,
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: you and your friend not clicking no more. It could
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: pertain to a lot of different things, you know what
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I mean, grieving people. So it really just depends on
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: the context. The context of what it is that you
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: letting go really matters. But I would say I think
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: there's maybe almost everything outside of grieving. Maybe, and then
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: even then I think that's some space to let go.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: But you kind of like griev and take time. Your
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: grieving take time.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you let go of it as
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: much as you you get comfortable.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: With grieving takes time.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I agree with that, you know what I mean, Yeah,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: you probably get comfortable comfortable with it more so than
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: you let go of it. But like, but that's extreme though,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: so like outside of the extreme, it's like I think
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: you can overstay your welcome on anything. I think there's
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: a time and a place. Everything's supposed to end in
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: something new, It is supposed to begin at some point.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: So if you overstaying, you're welcome in a chapter when
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: you really could have you know, you overstay, so you
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: really could have like released that and then you could
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: have put your hands on something else that was going
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: to help you get better. That's when you you need
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: to let go, like you know you, yeah, you need
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: to you need to get out of this at some point,
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Like it's okay to do your thing, feel your feelings,
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: feel your emotions, but at some point you got to
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: start something new. I agree you got to start something
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: new at some point.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I feel like when your mental health started taking a
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: toll and overpowering you, I think you overstayed You're welcome
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: and that job or that relationship exactly. I feel like,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I feel like if you can't live without a person,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I feel you overstayed you're welcome.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: What you mean, though.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: You're in a relationship and that person don't want to
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: be with you, you feel like you can't live without
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: this person, and this person was like your lifeline and
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: everything else. I felt like you overdid it.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: If you listen, if that person left your life and
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: that person moved on to another person and you still
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: like hung up on this ship like behind it.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: They didn't moved on, So it's like, wow, why is
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: taking you so Why is taking you so long to
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: move on? I feel like you're hurting yourself even more
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: by standing by because you watching their happiness and I
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: feel like that shit fucked you up even more. I
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: feel like that's real. We really have to start a
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: lego be happy and lego.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: It's like because the only person that's being hurt is you.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Why they living? Is they living a great life?
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: That's the most important part.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: And you should come number one before anybody, because it's
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: like when you you go on social media, your mind
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: is already program and set to keep going on these
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: people pages you see happiness that you're gonna suck you
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: up even more. Depression is real. You feel like your
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: word is wrapped around this person, and this person not
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: even you're not even in this person word no more.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: So I feel like you gotta let go.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like even holding on and it's almost like
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: you addicted to pain in a sense, because clearly letting
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: go is the thing that's gonna make you feel better,
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: and you know that that's the first step, You know that,
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: But the fact that you keep holding on to it
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: so tightly at that when you know it's not bringing
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: you no peace, it's not bringing you no comfort, it's
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: not bringing you no type of joy or no type
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: of happiness. So I think sometimes it's people, and it
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: sound crazy when you hear it, because the first thing
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: you think is like, why would anybody be addicted to
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: being hurt and wanting to feel sorry for themselves? But
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: it's a thing, though, That shit is real. It's a thing.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: The best thing I can tell you let it go
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: if it's comeback, is meant for you and relationship aspect.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to a job, I feel like
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: we go to these places at work that give us headaches,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: that we cry, we don't want to be here, but
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: we're here for the check. This ain't the only job
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: that God put on this earth. So I feel like
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: if you apply yourself and put yourself out there more,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: bet are opportunities to come. Oh man, some people, I
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: feel like y'all just stuck because y'all been at this
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: job for so long that y'all feel okay, cool. I'm
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: gonna just I'm gonna just suck it up and move
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: through the day just to get that paycheck. When there's
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: other jobs and opportunities that that's out there for you
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: that will welcome you in and you'll be in a
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: way better predictament, way better in this situation. I feel
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: like a lot of people sometimes feel like they don't
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: believe in theirself that it is better out there, so
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: they don't want to let go. So they gonna deal
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: with the mental health of coming to this place every day.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: They're gonna deal with the headaches and the pain coming
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: to this place every day, the abuse verbally, because I
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: doubt nobody putting hands on you, but the verbal abuse
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: of your bosses picking on you and everything else. Like
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: sometimes you just gotta jump out off the streets, and
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: you gotta jump off the curve into the streets, and
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: I mean, just believe in yourself that something gonna come
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: through for you.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is saying that people say the devil you
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: know is better than the devil you don't. And I
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: think that's the mentality that keep people where they're at.
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: It's like they thinking, like, you know, it's comfort. It's like, Okay,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: like this sucks, but I'd rather handle this then get
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: reintroduced into a new level of pain, a new level
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: of challenge and struggle, when really it's like that's the
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: risk that you gotta take for shit to get even better,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean? So you like staying in
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: the carib all day, like metaphorically like you staying in
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: this one spot because it's like, yeah, it sucks, but
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: like it could be worse outside. It could be better too,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: way better.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: You said, no job, ain't gonna fall into your lap.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: Shit going, no opportunities, no relationships, no love, no new bread,
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: they say, scared money, don't make nothing.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: No trust me. I jumped out the window plenty of times.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: You got to jump out that window. Got a fall
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: before you start running, you know what I'm saying. Right,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: And to even go back to the relationship with you said,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: some people don't move on because this is all they know. Yeah,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: so how do you know it is not nothing out
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: there for you if you don't go out there and
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: to explore to see if there's anything out there for you.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. You got to go out there, explore.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: You got to take a risk. It's all about risk factor.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Like you got to ask yourself, like where am I
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: and where do I want to be? And like how
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: do I do I want to continue to live my
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: life because regrets is the This is the biggest motivation
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: to me. It is regrets is the biggest motivation. Like
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: whenever I find myself being stuck somewhere, timid to make
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: a decision, or just not really operating in my full potential.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: The regrets snap me out of my a shit quick
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: every time.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: You know, same thing with me, mm hmm, Like I
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: don't want to live life thinking oh, I should have
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: did this right, I should have put my no, I
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: do it and if the consequences burned me later, than
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: fuck it. I tried it. What's next. I'm not scared
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: to jump out the window. I look at it like,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: what is I seen? I seen the worst, So what
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: is I'm scared to jump out the window to try
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: something else different.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: And I'm not scared to lose, like you know, like
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: you losing.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: That's that's the part of winning that Bro.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: It's unnegotiable. Even it's like, bro, you cannot grow until
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: you get your ass whopped a couple of times. It's
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: an it's unnegotiable, meaning like there's no way around it.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: So if you want to, like there's sayings where people say,
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: if you if there's a man who never took a risk,
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: then I could show you somebody who never grew or
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: some ship like that.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Any man that you anybody out here seeing walking that
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: you feel is winning. Trustfully, they took losses somewhere down
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: the line, the greats Muhammad Ali, Joe and kolbe Lebron,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: they all took losses. Is because they didn't when they
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: went to that championship the first year they did not win, right,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: Muhamma Ali hit that payment, but still we consider him
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: as the greatest of all times. Right, So it's like,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: you gotta take those l's to get that wo.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: You got to that's the only way to get through it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Because the thing about the L is what they say
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: is not a loss, it's a lesson, a lesson, you
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? Lessons you like literally getting wisdom
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: and information through every experience. It's like, instead of looking
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: at it like a loss, think about it as experience. Bro, Like,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: the only way you get what it is, The only
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: way you get wisdom is you pay for it through experience.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: That's the only way you got to purchase it with
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: either your victory or or your failure. But either way
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: you learning, you get better and then like next time
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: you approaching it or who knows, like through your failures,
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: maybe one day you can give advice to somebody who's
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: younger than you who don't got none of the experience
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: you got, and now you can help them avoid so
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: many of the pitfalls.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I'm living proof of that. I'm living proof of that.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: I took an l getting shot, losing my vision, but
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I take them experience. I could talk to the little
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: homies that's in the hood. I can talk to my
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: son and my nephews and then, believe it or not,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: it's people that's my age around me that I stopped
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: them from crashing out, Like, bro, it ain't worth it right?
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: Like you doing all this for what?
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Like I really, like, really sit people down, like yo, brof,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I'm that five seconds that you were just about to
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: lose it all for. Like, bro, that's twenty five years
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: of life. Is that worth it?
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And they're like, yo, damn you know, like you're a
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: real nigga for the simple fact you stop me right
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: and talk to me another nigga to be like yo,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: let him do what you do. I don't care. I
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: can't be around you every day, talk to you on
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: the phone, and I tell you when you're doing something stupid, bro, right,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Like I got I got homies that sit there, and yo, bro,
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: it ain't worth it, Bro, They ain't tired of walking
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: around with that metal on your waist. Shit is calling
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: to you. Feel like, when youre walking around like that,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: it's like you're looking for trouble. You You you putting
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: yourself in the predicament to be in trouble. Now you
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: gotta leave that shit alone. Bro, that part of my
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: life is.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Over, especially like if you if you don't got nobody
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: out here who's specifically trying to harm me.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, right, Like, what is we doing?
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: You really don't need it.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: If you gotta take this gun somewhere, that mean it
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: ain't meant for us to go here. That's that's that's
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: the way I move with it.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I Mean, that's the simple, that's the real, simple but
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: real ass truth.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: If we gotta bring the guns here, that it is
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: not made for us to go.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: Bro, I don't want to go nowhere where I gotta
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: have the strap with me.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: It ain't meant for me to be there. Hell, when
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: I see people drinking too much and they getting a
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: little aggressive, ye were out?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Yeare we out?
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Because they I know what I'm capable of. I know
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: what you're capable of, So I'll be putting myself in
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: this predicament. Now, let's go before it escalate to even more.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Because I see how aggressive this person is gay and
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: he drinking out of control. Knock on, bro, we out
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: we because I'm trying to live. I'm a new person,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: and I tell people all the time, walking away from
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: a situation don't make you pussy like you win every
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: situation that you could walk away from. Consider that that's
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: a w Why are you walking through your dolls? You're
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: seeing your kids, You're seeing your mother, your father, your grandparents,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and everything else. Man, you are winner. Most people like damn, bro,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I feel pussy. Why do you feel pussy for you
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: walked away with your life. You walked away out of jail, nigga.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: You won. And that's why I feel like a lot
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: of us in these neighborhoods get fucked up over over
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: what we think people will look portrayed us. I don't
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: give a fuck with people look at me as oh see,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: no pussy now, I'm cool with that. I'm not trying
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: to make a name over being the toughest nigga in
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: the hood or the gangsters nigga. I don't care about
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: none of that shit. She ain't paying my bills, that
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: she ain't take care of my child.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Bro, that shit not gonna It's not gonna pay your bills.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: It's not gonna help you make a million dollars. It's
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: not gonna help you feed the homeless. Not gonna help
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: you feed the people who's spiritually hungry. It ain't gonna
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: help you travel the world. It ain't gonna take you
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: to Spain. It ain't gonna take you to Africa. It's
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: gonna keep your ass on the fucking block, nigga that
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: you don't even own.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: By the way, Oh, I say that ship till all
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: the time be dying over a street, a block that
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: don't we don't got a house on and we don't own.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: We got the game fucked up. We got the game
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: fucked up because we want to be big homies into
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: these blocks and you're dead and going. Somebody else coming
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: right back, somebody coming, somebody else coming to take that
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: shit over.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Man, they're gonna be paying rent right after you.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: So so it's like, what is we doing here? And
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I feel like as black people, we hurt ourselves in
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: a lot of situations. We hurt ourselves. When is it
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: time to let go. I don't care if this person
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: you're a sandbox front. Sometimes everybody not made to go
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: with you.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Hey man, Because the rid truth is life is about change. Bro,
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Ship's supposed to be supposed to look different. It's not
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: supposed to stay the same. Man. You had to allow
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: life to change, like you changing, like your ass was.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Literally at one point you were sitting in a chair,
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: couldn't even touch the ground. You know what I mean.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Now you're about it, You know what I mean. You grow,
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: you change, your mind develops like shit that you used
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: to think. A little time go by, you don't really
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: feel the same way about that thing no more, you
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: know what I mean. So life is change is inevitable.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Bro Grow with it, though, don't fight change. And it's
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: okay to a'll grow people. Oh it's okay to outgrow.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: Peace necessary. It's people that I love, always gonna love.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Will take my shirt off and give it to them.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: But we outgrew each other because we're on two different pages.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I don't want to sit around and do the same shit.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I would know when I was fourteen fifteen, they still do.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: We're thirty four. Now times is different. I want better
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: for myself. I want more for my child. I'm looking
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: into the future. These niggas living by day by day
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: be on two different pages. I love them, I see them.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: It's like we back kids again. But I always got
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: to snap back and say, I gotta go. Yeah, I can't.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I can't do this no more. It's some of the
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: niggas that I love. Thats my sandbox. Sandbox niggas. But
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I can't talk to you more than five minutes on
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: this corner because you're still in the streets. Bro. I
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: don't want to get caught up on this corner with you,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: and I don't want people to feel like I'm back
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: out in these streets and I'm a threat to them
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: I got to keep it going, bro, Yeah, I gotta
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: keep it going.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: You pack your hug. I love you, bro, and I
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: just pray that I don't have to put an IP
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: in front of your name.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: That's another thing like people need to get People need
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: to let go of who somebody used to be. Yeah,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: because a lot of the time when we friends with
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: people were holding on to this image of how they
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: how we remember them, or how we want to remember them,
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Like you said, the sandbox, So it's like man, me
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: and Bro used to do this all the time, Like man,
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: me and Bro had this fistfight my week. No more,
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: Man we we we We literally split the last dollar,
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: We split the last pizza, the last sandwich. And you
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: got these stories. You feel close to them, and it's
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: like these are real things. But at the end of
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: the day, as time go on, like we need to
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: have like renewable contracts with our relationship. If somebody three
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: years from now, if the way that they operate and
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: living their life is not serving the version of you today,
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: then it don't mean you gotta cut them off, but
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: it's like, shit gotta change, bro, you gotta you gotta
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: social distances. Bro, come on, you gotta remove your access
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: to them because they don't even want the same ship
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: that you want.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Bro. That could be your downfall.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: It's going to be your downfall.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And you don't know how that shit gonna turn out.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: You're getting this call with this person and you know
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: the cost pull you over. You find yourself doing to
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: the better damn and it's like I could have walked
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: away from this person. Just don't know. This person wasn't right.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: But feeling like the heat my sandbox, You're supposed to
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: be locked in.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Ever now, I don't work like that doing off of association.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: You're doing ten of better strictly off of association. That
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: just tell you how important association is, Like association and
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: America powerful. It's so powerful that just standing next to
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: the wrong person and the wrong get you snatched up
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: and some ship that you're not even guilty for me.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: Walking and just giving this person a pound every day
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: and they just catturing me, like, maybe he's somebody that's
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: associated with you. Start looking into him.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: He affiliated, let me see what he got going on?
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Why why do they so close not knowing? Like, man,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: that ship, I'm telling you that shit don't be worth it. Man, right,
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I grew up with a lot of people that to today,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: and I like when we see each other, I just
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: be like, damn, I escape this ship. I survived this
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: ship like my best like one of my best friends
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: alcoholic mhm, and it hurts me. It hurts me bad.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: So one day I went up there and they all
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: in the house was drinking, and I'm just looking like, damn,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I remember all your niggas was this ship back in
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: the days growing up Jersey money everything, Yeah, niggas in here, alcoholics,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: wasting your life away right here. Man. I'm talking to
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: him and he like, I'm trying. Bro. I'm like, you're trying,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Let me get some of that, and he gave me
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: his cup. I pulled it out. The rest of them
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: looking at me like, damn you let that nigga pull
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: your drink out and he was like, yo, just be quiet.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: He the wrong one. And I'm like, you got that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: You got enough sense to know to tell them, Yo,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: fall down. He's not the one to play with. So
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: you got enough sense to kick this cup? Bro, I
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: say you this shit ain't worthy. He like, Yo, Bro tried,
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I got the shakestore.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: So damn bro. You really alcoholic though, Bro?
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he really addicted.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Yo, Bro, can you just buy me a beer? I said,
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: damn bro, you just gotta have something. And it should
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: hurt my heart with this nigga I grew up with,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: like slapping my crib my mother, Oh that's.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: My son, sandbox memories were talking about.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: But then sometimes I was going to say and say,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: he chose his life, so who am I trying to
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: fix it?
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah? When he can, he when he's consistently showing up
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: making that decision, you know, because at the end of
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: the day, the real thing about help and letting go
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: right is in order for him to let go of
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: his addiction, he has to get to a point where
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: he's ready to change. Yeah, And I could, bro, I
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: could love you down to death, Bro, I could. I
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: could see the pain in your eye, see the pain
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: in your experience, and man, just like try to embrace
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: you with all the love and all the warmth. But
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: it's almost like it will be like pouring from your
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: cup into a cup that got a hole at the bottom.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: It's like he's not gonna just pouring forever. But not forever. Yeah,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: not forever, because you gonna run out, you know what
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: I'm saying. You like, yo, the energy that God give
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: you that should not unlimited, you know what I mean.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: We restore it every day, we go to sleep and
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: we eat, but you know what I mean, But it's
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: not unlimited though.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we just gotta leave people with it. Yet And
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: as sad as to say, people where they are, whether
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: they a friend, whether it's family, whether it's a woman.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: His family is your biggest downfall too. Absolutely, And just
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: because you got this word family, you feel like you're
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: supposed to hold on and help and all that. Nah,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: the best thing to do is turn your back on family.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: Some family members too. I ain't gonna hold you. Nobody's
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: gonna bring me down. Absolutely, no friend, no family, no not.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Sometimes family is our biggest downfall, and nobody don't want
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: to believe it because like, oh we family. Sometimes your
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: friends is better than your family. Your friends want to
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: want you to win more than your family.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Your friends is your chosen family. Yeah, that's the family
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: you choose. Real, it means more.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Bro, young Gotta tell me, no, Lie, I talked to
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: you more than I talked to a lot of my
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: family members that I took baths with, be in a
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: tub together, rubber ducky, rubber ducky, build clubhouses together. But
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: growing up, we play, We did so much ship that
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: we thought this was going to be forever, not knowing
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: when we at this grown age that it was going
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: to be a separation with us. That's like we see
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: each other, when we see each other, that the love, Yeah,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: the love is still the same. Yeah, I love you, bro,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: but we grew times is different. I don't know how
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: you is now. So it's like you relearning the person
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: all over. I don't got time for that shit. Bro,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: At this grown age, I don't got time for this shit.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: My circle is my circle, yeah, and I ain't trying
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: to reconstruction it to make you have space into this ship.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: And I feel like that's being people biggest downfall, big time.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, listen, it's all it's all on topic of
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: just letting go. Like you got to ask yourself, like
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: what's more important? Like you take happiness? Yeah, your happiness,
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: you peace, your peace, you getting once to health all that,
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Like what's more important that holding on to what's familiar
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: to you? Because holding on to what's familiar to you,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: especially in your relationships, whether it's blotonic or romantically, these
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: are the things that that are that your most in
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: jeopardy of not succeeding from, you know what I mean,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Like hanging with the wrong It's so many niggas that
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: I have to cut off just to get to where
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I am today.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Bro.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: And when God show you signs, when God lets you
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: see them little things, pay attention to that man, because
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: God wants you to see you, know what I mean?
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Do you regret it? Not at all?
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Do it all over again? If you had to sooner
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: tell you, I know sooner, I've been there. I know.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: If I know now what I know, don't trust and
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: believe a lot of people would have been going out
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: of my life.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and high sight is twenty twenty.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Like they say, oh, and just let go of people
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: if it ain't good for you, man, just let it go. Yeah,
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: And even if you feel like it's good for you,
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: sometimes the best thing is to let it go. Yeah,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: let it go, loving from a distance.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: Hey, and and then beyond people when we talk about
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: letting go, sometimes we need to let go it happens
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: that's no longer serving us too.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: One thousand.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, you know what I mean, Like, sometimes you
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: need to let go of that that laziness that's inside
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: of you being lazy.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's a lot of fucking lazy people out here
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: that think and the job gonna come and fall into
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: their lab a lot of lazy people that just ain't
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: gonna get out there, like not for nothing, and and
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: and and it's and it's crazy. You need to let
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: go a lot of people need to let go that liquor.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: You need to let go that the weed, the weed,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: the marriage, the extra drugs that they're into these pills
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: and everything goes because when you offer this, you're giving
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: your age, You're giving you one hundred percent. You're given
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: your best. I ain't gonna lie. I came in here.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: It was like, yo, yo, you need to slow down.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: I'm like, damn, maybe I'll need to listen. And I
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: feel better. I don't drink as much. I'm chilling down now.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: It's like I'm more locked into the business. And when
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I'm in the club, I don't have to urge this
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: to drink. I sit back and I wash the money now,
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: and it's like it's nothing wrong. It's like, yo, I'm like, damn,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: if I keep this ship, nigga, I have no good liver.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: And I see people drinking every fucking day, and I'm like,
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: how do y'all do this ship?
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: Hey bro?
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: Now, it's like my body's tarting to reject this ship.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Now, Hey bro, I said, nah, I.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Gotta get back focused, man, I gotta get into the gym.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I get my mind. I feel like when I'm my best,
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: not drinking and working out, I think better, I move better,
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I feel better. I think like everything is just better
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: with me. So it's like I see what my problem is.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Let me kick this ship, let me fall back with it.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: You can have fun. Yeah, nobody telling you to stop fun,
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: but just hold your fun to a timespan.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just what you consider fund just need to change,
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: that's all.
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: You don't do every day. It ain't fun every day.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Because you Because when we when our version, bro as Americans,
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: all of us have been through this to some degree.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: But when your version of fun equals to like you
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: just said, like, I got to stop drinking away in
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: the same capacity, because then I'm the one who's gonna
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: suffer from it later, living, not gonna be working. I'm
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: in a hospital, not free, not.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Free tonight, man, Codas, the doctors, all this ship who
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: want to be hooked up to tubes, all because of alcohol,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: all because you felt like you was having a good time.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: Nah, it's better ways.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah I felt I needed alcohol to have fun. Yeah,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I really start having fun without it.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we all did.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: A lot of ship is like, Man, I can live
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: without it.
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I ain't had no liquor in a minute. Man, I've
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: been sipping the wine. Bro. It's been a nice little
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: transition they took me.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I need to tap into the wine, the x excelling.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Tap into the wine. Bro, I put you onto some
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: good wines.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Bro. I need I need, I need that, I need that.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: You know what, matter of fact, next time we link,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm gonna give you a bottle, bro, I'm gonna
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: hook you up with something. I'm hook you up with something.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: You deserve it.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Appreciate that, Yeah, you deserve another thing. Do you feel
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: like your past affects your Do you feel like your
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: past affect your future? And if so, do you feel
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: you need to go back in your past to fix it?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, how are you gonna do that? How you're
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: gonna go back in your past?
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Like if I say, like if you hurt somebody or.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: You like, go back and do that work?
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Do you go back to try to fix it? Make
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: them like maybe forgive to order for that future to go.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Maybe it just depends like if there's if if your
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: actions from your past is stopping you from having closure
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: or stopping you from being being comfortable in your body
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: because maybe you're living with regret and maybe you're living
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: with shame, you know what I mean, embarrassment, then yeah,
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I think it's what's wise because like the unresolved issue
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: from the past is not allowing you to flourish. And
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: that's the whole thing. Like you living, like you surviving,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: but are you living though? You know what I mean,
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: you need to stop surviving. I feel the same way.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: You gotta stop surviving, surviving not living. It's not that. Yeah,
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: you're waking up every day, you're blinking, drinking water, taking
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: the piss, eating food or whatever, but you're not living though.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: You know, like, damn, I did this. And if you're
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: thinking about the ship every day, I feel you need
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: to go back in your past to fix it. Yeah,
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: that's the only way you can have clothes here, to
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: move on with yourself. And even when I talk to
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: people today and they say I said, bro's nothing that
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: it's not wrong with just sitting down to having that conversation,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: like whether they forgive you or not, you took that
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: step to fix it. Now move on with your life.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: You don't own nobody nothing. You're old. You did that,
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: you said that apology, I'm sorry, I wasn't myself or
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: whatever whatever it was, and you move on with it.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: But if you feel like your past is not affecting
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: your future and you can let that shit go and
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: just move on. Just move on. Sometimes going to your
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: past can even make it even make it worse. You
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: don't even need to reopen their wounds. Depending on what
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: it is, it can hurt to a point it's like,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: why would I do this? Let me just move on myself.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: How long would you forgive yourself? I feel like you
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: can move on. A lot of people out here that's
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: stuck have not forgiven their self. I feel like that's
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: the first step forgiving yourself.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: I was.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I was in that predicament before I did so much
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: shit after I got shot to people due to the
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: fact I was like I was abusing the pills, I
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: was abusing the liquor. I was not myself a point,
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: I have not forgave myself, but I expected them to
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: forgive me. But then when I finally forgave myself for
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: doing all this shit because I know I wasn't in
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: my right space, in my right mind, then I could
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: go back and visit the conversation and say and say
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, this is what it is. And they was
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: able to say I forgive you because before they keep
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: saying it. But it's like I haven't forgive myself, so
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: what they saying don't mean nothing to me and shit
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: flying over my head when the whole time the answer
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: was in me. So it was like, damn, I know
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I fucked up. I know I did this, But why
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: they not forgiving me the way I want them to
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: forgive me? When the answers were really just in me. Cool,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: I apologize to myself. I forgive myself for being coming
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: out of character. I forgive myself for abusing these drugs,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: using these liquors, becoming a monster animal that I would
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: normally that's not normally me. Right, And once I did that,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like I became a better person. Yeah, those
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: are opportunities start opening up to me, or you start
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: handling situations different. Oh yeah, because I've been there and
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: I learned my lesson to a point. Alright, Cool, I
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: would let me let me take this route. I know
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: what I did. I would never like, I would never
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: put myself in that same predicament again because I learned
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: from my lesson when I did it back in my past.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: So now I handle situations better.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: A right, Yeah, that's that's another thing about letting go. Then,
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: I think that enough people don't talk about It's like
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: once you let go. You now create space for God
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: to bring the things that you actually.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: Want and to add what you actually need and what.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: You actually need. But sometimes you gotta let go, and
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: it might not be easy because you might have to
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: let go of somebody that you want to see when
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: it's like I want it's like you scared you holding
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: on to that person because deep down inside, you know
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: you the best thing they got going in there life.
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: And if you step away from them, then you're gonna
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: really be nervous because it's like, but damn the who
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: gonna love on them? Then who gonna do it? You
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: know what? You gotta let go? You gotta let go
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: of that. You know what I mean.
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: My last relationship, I've seen it. She let go because
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: along she stayed around me. It wouldn't I want to.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: I want to grow to where I'm at today because
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: it's like she made up the excuses for me while
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: I was acting the way I was acting. She baby me,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: she woked on eggshell, she did it all. So it's
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: like as long as she was, she would keep doing that.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Ship I wouldn't have never been the Sino today. I
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: STI would have been in that room. I STI would
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: have been fucked up and making excuses of why I
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: don't want to do a lot of ship because I'm blind, right,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: But once I have that cushion of a person making
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: up excuses for me, I now, Chrisville, you got to
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: take your panties over and put your boxes on. At
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: one point, I was more like I had on panties.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: I have the panties on, bro, I had.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: The pennies on. I had the Victoria's secrets. Might not
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: even been a Victoria's secrets. It might have been target
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: the target, the target, bro, the fruit. I was on
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: some bullshit. Once I really had to sit down in
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: my room and think to myself, like I can't keep
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: putting myself down with being in a dog or putting
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: myself down from that day, because it's not I could
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: have did different. It's either lived the life that lived
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: this life or be behind that jail cell for twenty
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: five years. And it's like I I didn't pick this choice,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: but it turned out good for me. Cool, Let me
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: put my boxes on, Let me stop feeling sorry for myself,
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: let me let go this past, let me let go
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: my past and step into my future. I'm at WTF
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: every week.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Every week, fire on my nigga, resonating with the people
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: in a real way.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Man, God and God do things for a reason. I
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: let go a lot of people to put myself around
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: good people, like real shit.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Run that one back, bro, Run that one back, just
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: real quick, run that one back, bro, I had.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: I really had to let go. I forgot what the
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: fuck you even said. I like that, nah, But sometimes you
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: gotta really let go the people around you and your
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: past to really see what God really got in front
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: of you. Sometimes I feel like our past is really
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: holding us back, that we're not even ready for our
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: futures yet. And if I felt like if I never
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: stepped forward to take my faith, I would have never
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: been on this couch. I would have never ran into
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: niggas like well, good people, good energy. I would have
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: never ran into the niggas I do parties with and everything,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: because why I would have been still stuck in my past.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Bro, people in different circles, you gotta sometimes you
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: gotta go to them. They're not gonna come to you.
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: One that what's saying? Yeah you got Sometimes they just
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: sometimes they just waiting on you. It's just up to
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: you to get there.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, real, like it's real.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: I know, I never seen a training. You gotta look
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: at it this. I never seen the train. Sit there
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: and wait for someone that's really done the stairs. Either
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: you're gonna be there, you're gonna get left.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Get left. It's not my fault that you're late. It's
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: not my fault that you didn't value my time enough.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: And time is everything.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: So then it's like if I if I run late
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: because you're running late, then I'm late to my blessing
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: and I might miss out on my opportunity because I'm
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: trying to look out for you. But how come you're
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: not looking at me long? How come you're not looking
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: out for me? Because if you was looking out for me,
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: you be on time, because you know how important it
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: is that we get to this destination.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Tom is everything, Thom is precious.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: Niggas is cooking.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: People sit there and feel like, oh I got enough time,
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: no time wait for nobody like that. That person that
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: woke up, well they didn't wait. That person that didn
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: wake up this morning, they probably thought they had enough
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: time to do what they had to do yesterday. I
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: cherish every time every day I opened my eyes, God
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: blessed me to take over and do something there. Nah.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: I went from being on YouTube and TikTok for entertainment.
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: Now I'm on YouTube and TikTok to learn how can
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I take my ship to another level? Like how can
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: I benefit the people around me? How can I benefit
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: the ones that want to do something with theirself? Because
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: before it's like I was forcing people to come along
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: with this ride with me, and I was slowing myself down.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: But when I let them go and I started meeting
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: people that I'm meeting people with it yet that want
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: to come along this ride, and it's showing me that
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: they want to come, everything started to become to everything
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: start coming together. I left everybody, let's keep it real.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: I left everybody behind it and who in the studio
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: every week just me and you. I had to do that.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I got homies that said there and said they love
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: my podcast. You asked them, like which episode you love?
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: They can't even tell me. I can tell you, but
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: they love when I dropped clicks and they got weazy,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: or they see pictures with me and Gillian Willow. Now, y'all,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I love the entertainment that I'm bringing. It's like when
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: he make it. Oh, we're all going at all going
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: what assets of a liability? Nigga's liabilities. We're not doing
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: that ship.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna leisure yours.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: That's a fact. How you how you benefiting me? Like
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: everybody can't be the star player. You gotta learn how
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: to play that six man. You gotta learn how to
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: be the water boy. And and that's what you know,
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Like every week I appreciate you more and more because
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: it's like, all right, oh see on his couch, he
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: running star. He a shoot up for the night. You
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: running point cool, I'm a while he's not shooting guard.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I'm a run point. I'm gonna says something. I know
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: how to bring the best out of him. I know
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: what questions that's gonna make him take off. Ship is
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: a team. A lot of people can handle shit like that. Yeah,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: a lot of people. It's like it takes a lot
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: to sit there in front of a computer with somebody
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: else's content, somebody else work and pull out the best
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: work that you know that it's gonna go viral. Old
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: niggas be like, nah, I ain't gonna do that shit
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: because he might take off further than me.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's such a small mentality that going on.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: Bro.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: If you're if the if, your friend, your family, if
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: they win, you win, man.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: And people don't see that ship.
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah you win.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: You know people don't see that ship. Bro. Like I
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: had a dream, bro, believe it or not, I had
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: a dream. My podcast got sign for fifteen million dollars
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: on stage, fifteen million dollars.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: But you see, you can see in the dream.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: You can see in the fucking dream. Bro. It's like
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: an odd of body experience. I'm in the crowd looking
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: at myself fifteen million. I'm on stage with Gilly, I'm
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: on stage with Wallow, I'm on stage with Charlemagne, and
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: I was on stage in Wheezy and I'm just looking
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: and it's like something great, wild happen because I had
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: to dream more than one time. And it's like, damn well,
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: I'm on stage in there like fifteen ms, the book contract,
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: podcast contract, everything right there. And then I'm like, I
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: accept I signed. But I'm like, alright, wolf, if you're
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: ready for your tempercent and it's like out of everybody,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: and it's like homies that I grew up with, homies
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: that we did wow, crazy shit. First thing, I say,
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: you're wealf, We're ready for your tempercent one point five
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, damn, this is how it's going to
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: be in the future. Then I'm like, yo, I want
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: to sign, but I want to start my own podcast
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: network too. They're like, cool, we're gonna get the platform
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: to do it. I say, your wolf, what up? Halfway
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: podcast is coming under the network, and it's like, Yo,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: the ship was just bugged out. Like I'm having this
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: ship more than one time. Like I believe in this ship.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna give every ounce I got in me my breath.
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I don't. I feel like this is my ticket out
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: the hood, bro. Yeah, And it's moving. It feel good
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: when I'm walking into spots and people, damn seen your podcast?
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Yeare you deep broad seen your podcast? You changed my life, bro.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: Something to be proud of, yo. Yeah, because really it's
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: really your life's work.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: Bro. Yo. I tell people, I ain't doing nothing that
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: you can do. I'm not doing that you can't do
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: like the Little Homies. Oh, I want to start a podcast, bro,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: Let me know I help you. I'm here to take
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: you out the streets. If I can take you off
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: the streets by you usual your voice, and I'm here
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: to help you you're gonna come on my show. Hell, yea,
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna come on your show. Bro. I'm gonna spport you. Bro,
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: like somebody doing a podcast. They ran into me this
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: week and we're talking here, like, y'all want you on
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: my podcast, But I feel like you're too big for it.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I said, you downgrading yourself?
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: Bro, Yeah, you got the wrong idea.
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: Bro. He like, nah, but I know you. I see
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: you moving and all that shit, Bro, I said, Bro, Yeah,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: and your mind and yo, we're hurting. Your podcast is
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: bigger than millionaires worth your game. It's bigger than earn
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: your leasures, bigger than lip service, is bigger than my ship,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: bigger than your ship, bigger than horrible decision. You're supposed
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: to feel like your body of work. Your podcast is
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: the best fucking thing on the market. Yeah, I said, Bro.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: When you doubt yourself, brother, you ain't gonna go fall.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, You're not gonna go fall because it bleeds through
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: everything you do after that.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: You ain't gonna give your best work because you feel
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: like this shit is bullshit?
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, Like so it's like, why are you wasting your
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: time doing this podcast? If you feel like I'm bigger
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: than you mean personally, I feel like nobody bigger than me.
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: No horrible decision, no brilliant idiots, no not. I feel
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: like I'm competing with them. They just got more resources,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: they got more money, they got more connections. But I'm
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: coming like that. That's my motivation, bron, even taking a
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: step further.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I don't even think you're competing with them. You really
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: competing with yourself.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: I am, Yeah, because I look at it, not too
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: many disabled podcasters. Yeah, and the ones I thought I
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: was competing with them really not be moving.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're really competing with yourself. Like you're trying to
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: continue to outdo what you've done before and to continue
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: to push it forward. It's like, okay, like last year
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: I took it further than I had ever taken did,
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: but this year I need to take it further than that.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Got to open it even more so. Yeah, man, b Yeah,
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: when we talk about letting shit go, anything that's holding
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: you back, that's a threat to your progress, that's what
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: you gotta let go of. Anything that's a threat to
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: your progress. You gotta say again left in five and
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: it could be you, It could be you and bad
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: habits that that's that's went on that's went unchecked for
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: way too long. Like, make them changes, get in the gym,
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: go see a therapist, so to church, pray more. You
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. Better, do the work yourself, connect
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: with your family, whatever it is that's eating you up
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: on the inside. Like you might be around your friends
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: and your family, you might be smiling, but keep down
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: you happy? Yeah, are you really happy? Because you know
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: what's what you got going on? You know what bothered you.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: You know, and stop sweeping it under the rug like
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: it's gonna go away. It's not gonna go away. It's
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: gonna get worse.
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: Stop ignoring it. You just when you ignorwate you make
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: the problem gets bigger. Stop running away from it because
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: you're gonna be running for the rest of your life.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: You gotta face that shit. Yeah, don't wait till twenty
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: twenty five and say, oh, this is my New Year's
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: revolution to make this change.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Do the changes now. Yeah, do the changes now today.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Don't wait till tomorrow, do it today. Sit there, open
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: that buck, let it and write down everything that you
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: want to change, everything that's bothering you, everything that you
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: need to let go, everything that's not good for you,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: whether it's your baby mother, whether it's your baby father,
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: whether it's your family members, shit, your best friend, your job, Like,
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: just let it go. You can't take that shit into
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: the next stages of your life because the otherwise you're
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: not growing. You're just putting more health issues on yourself,
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: because mental health is really a health issue. You're not
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: gonna grow, You're not gonna be happy, You're not gonna
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: give the word the best potentials that you really have
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: to offer. Nobody will never know what you have to
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: offer for the simple fact you're still stuck in the past.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: And before we get out of here, love yourself, cherish yourself,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: believe in yourself, and you don't need nobody. You don't
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: need nobody to tell you love You're looking to mirror
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: and tell yourself you love you every time you get
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: because you are shit who you are and you matter
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: of fact, jay Z said it to self, nobody's built
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: like you. You designed yourself, so you design who you
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: want the world to see. And another episode, and then
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: you want to tell the people who we out there with.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: Man shut out, hold man, listen. We got the love
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: of Blonde Poppy it's on the way, it's coming. We're
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: working on it. Cooking with Blonde Poppy. We got a
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: couple of shits in the work. Any ladies that are listening,
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: you feel like you might be interested on coming on
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: a dating show. Listen. It's gonna be big, expensive cameras,
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: it's gonna be microphones. It's gonna be a look for you.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: You're gonna be able to show you people, you.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Know, your star.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna you know, you're gonna be on YouTube
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: looking good looking, professional four K and you know, and
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: you know, if you if you got what it takes,
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: if you're ready to come and show your best and
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: smile and have good energy, send a message to my
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: boy man, and let's let's let's let's consider you. You know
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: what I mean. Let's set up a media ye yeah.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: Hey ladies. Oh know, you know you that right one
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: I might sing to you? Who knows I might? You know,
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna put my good colone on that day, my
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: good drugs off here, my chili peppers, you know, Oh
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: my god, Hey ladies, but like subscribe, comment, tell a friend,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: Tell a friend. Blond Poppy done did it again? And
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: comment on them YouTube. I love the comments. I read
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: it always right back on Instagram, I always comment back.
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate y'all. We definitely moving over the over
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: five hundred subscribers, and I just I just love the
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: I just love the responses that y'are really pouring into me.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: Like y'all, y'all keeping me motivated. Something like the girl
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: I sent you and she said this and said, keep
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: going like you. I'm motivating.
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: It's real.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: Shout out to you, Cherry Baum, I believe her name
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: is on Instagram. Shout out to you. She said she
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: was in a car accident. She broke her I think
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: her ankles and her knees, my wrist, I think she said,
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: she said, and shout out to you. I mean, I
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: think she was a bartender or a bottle girl. I've
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: seen on Bayo and all that. You know. I helped
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: to get over that. But you are that number one bartender,
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: bottle girl, whatever you was. Don't let nobody tell you difference.
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: That accident just was a setback for a major comeback.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: Believe in yourself, people and me out of here. Blond
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Stepper