Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / A Court of Mist and Fury (ACOMF) by Sarah J. Maas - Is Rhysand Actually the Blueprint?

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A Court of Mist and Fury (ACOMF) by Sarah J. Maas - Is Rhysand Actually the Blueprint? · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

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Hi friends, you're listening to lose the plot with Carla and
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Emily In this episode we are reading a court of mist and fury
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by Sarah J Mass. We are talking about the entire.
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Book so warning there will be spoilers.
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I'm Carla. And if you don't marry her, you
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stupid prick, I will. That sounded really fruity.
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I'm Emily and nothing like crawling through fat and human
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hair to get your wedding ring. Would you?
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No. Trigger warnings from
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booktriggerwarnings.com And I condensed these a little bit
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because some of them were very repetitive.
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Abduction, blood, cheating, claustrophobia, deception,
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imprisonment, vomiting, forced compliance, gore, physical
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abuse, psychological abuse, PTSD, sexual aggression, sexual
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assault, and violence. That awkward gap.
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The list was like double that, except it'd be like pushing,
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shoving, physical assault. Walking upstairs, yeah.
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Yeah, there was a lot. So this is book 2.
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This is book 2. Also, I'm told I'm very minimal
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knowledge of this series. Everyone can come for me, I
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don't care. Is it because you haven't read
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all of them? I'm just a noob though, like I
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feel like this has been in the cauldron for a decade.
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People have been bubbling over this for a long time.
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Also. That's kind of nice because I've
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obviously read it and then it's like I've read it and then you
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have fresh eyes, right? But you know, it's because of my
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attention span, you know, it's very unlikely for me to commit
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to a series, especially a fantasy series.
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I think you like the idea of fantasy.
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It's just the world building that's like a lot.
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It is, yeah. A lot of RAM in my brain, a lot
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of processing power I don't have.
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Can we start with the fact that the first couple of chapters to
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me felt like, you know, when you're watching a Netflix show
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and it does the recap, I'm like, haven't I heard all of this?
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It was almost like a full couple chapters where I was like wait
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was this cut and paste from the end of the last book or am I
2:29
just stupid? I don't remember the the end of
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the last one. Oh, it just felt really like, am
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I going there and then? Yeah, but I feel like it's just
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a you know what though? She did do trauma really well.
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Just generally. Yeah, yeah.
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You know how you read a book and everyone's got to pass?
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Like, they sit in it for a couple of months and then
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they're all fine again? Yeah, at least all of the
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characters are like. Fucked up, relatable, and there
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is a relatable #relatable. Every single one has some sort
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of random. Tro this was the trauma dumping.
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Book. Yeah.
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You know what though? If we were to generalise, why
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are they trying to tell us that Reese is giving Pussycat energy
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when he's giving emo vampire about the entire book?
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Hello I. Think it's to trick you because
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he obviously does the opposite of everything Tamlan does.
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Yeah, like Tamlan's the night time.
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Like how is he supposed to be so scary and then he's crying all
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the time, which is fine. Oh sorry, I meant Tamlin's the
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daytime. Tamlin's the day.
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And then this is Night Bay. Yeah, so we like Tamlin Bay is
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the sun, Yes. And Reese and is the night yes,
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he was giving emo to me the whole I'm OK with it, I'm OK
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with it, but why are we pretending he's sly Pussycat
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he's not. She.
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Misread the tone so many times, but we'll get into that later.
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I'm OK with it either. Right, right, right, right,
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right, right. So once we get past the recap,
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the skip recap. Part the vomiting, the crying,
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shooting down the walls. Sort of like the recap of where
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we left off, obviously from the last book.
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We're still with favour, obviously.
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Holy fuck. Does she whinge at the start?
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Yeah. Holy hell.
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What are you though? I would but like but I was like.
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Do not clarify. We had two of the most whiny
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pictures on the plane. 100. Percent.
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So it's not that she can't whine, it's that we know we're
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both insufferable. Oh.
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I think I forgot. How whiny she is, yes.
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Because we've read a few books in the meantime.
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And then I got back into her head and I was like.
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It's a lot up there. She is like a 19 year old girl
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though, so it kind of feels. Kind of goes.
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Like her brain's not fully developed.
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Yeah, she's like, EW, I'm stuck inside with.
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This hot man? Yeah, I'm painting.
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I'm not allowed to do anything. No one tells me.
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Anything. To coat at the garden.
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She can, literally. See the garden, she's like out
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the window like which I would so.
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Do that. Like just imagine her like
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coursing it up. Just like get out.
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The window just like. Oh.
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Help help. Me but she can barely speak
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because obviously she's been in nauseated.
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I'm fading. She's sickest to death and she's
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the skinniest. Person alive, it's laughing,
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it's not traumatic. No, it's giving, you know what I
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mean. It's.
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Giving. It's giving.
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It not it's giving. You know what it's giving.
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No, fuck. Nosferatu.
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I haven't seen it. It's.
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A girl, she's like. She's just a.
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Little wife, you know, she weighs 2 lbs.
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She's like, if there was a sound, that would be her.
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And that's what Faye was giving. Right.
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But anyway, what we do know is that now she's a high Faye
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warmth. I'm praying.
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She's even more special. She's the most powerful.
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Yeah, exactly. I was waiting for it.
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I was. Like.
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She is the most. Special she's like the pick me 5
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day and 'cause she was only turned a minute ago.
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Bark. She's fresh and juicy.
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She's wobbling all over the place.
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She's like a little deer. She's a bobblehead wife.
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She's a little my littlest pet. My.
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Littlest. Pet wife and Tamlin's like
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Tamlin Tamlin. Tamlin, Tamlin, Tamlin.
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What are you going to do? He has no.
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Character arc, it's fine. Never.
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He's got no personality. Like actual.
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He. May as well not have been in
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this the. Whole.
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Personality of the last book. Resolution.
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And 100%. And then we lost it.
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Hello, redheaded sidekick. It always is.
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It always is. We're always robbed when they
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don't just make the redheaded sidekick the main.
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Just make the gingers the main one, right fools?
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And it's always a ginger man. Right.
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That's why Outlander is the best because made him the main
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character like rang up and. He's only mildly.
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Promoted so she's locked up Tamlin daddy hasn't changed the.
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Rules. Nah.
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He's still telling her nothing, but he low key because you know
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how they've got the deal, the lease agreement between Tamlin
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and Reese, Yes, right. Like we know that much.
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Yes, he's just. Acting like she's going to spy
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for him but not tell her but no he's.
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Spy like but not ask her right? Not train her, no.
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She's like, can I have a bit of self-defense?
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He's like, no. No.
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He's like, I'll just protect you, bitch.
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She's out of this Kingdom. He's giving alpha male in the
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worst way possible. What are you protecting her
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from? But also.
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Fucking flowers. Out of your zone of power?
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Hmm Frequently, yes. When she's on this lease
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agreement, he's a. Dumb bitch, eh?
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Yeah, you're trying to keep her in love with you, and then
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you're sending her off and she's coming back healthy.
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She's coming back glowing. Hmm.
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She's coming back in nice comfy clothes, not stitched up in
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corset, right? She slept.
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She's not looking iron deficient.
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No money bags, no eye bags. And he's like, he must be
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treating her like hell. Yeah, he's not really rising to
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the occasion. No, like, why wouldn't you try
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better? Why wouldn't you be like, let's
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go out for a horse ride? No, he like double s down.
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Yeah. He's like not only you locked in
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your room, you're locked in your cupboard.
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Like it just. Yeah, we're.
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Actually gonna put you under the floorboards.
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You're straight in the attic, bitch, and we've had enough of
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you. Actual and she's like may I
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please have an ounce of self defence and he's.
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Like may I please go on the veranda AT he's?
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Like, and then she realizes she's illiterate and even Tamlin
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doesn't throw this girl a book. He doesn't.
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Teach her how to read. Teach her how to write.
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He doesn't care. He doesn't want her to.
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No. I feel like she has shared
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custody between Tamlin and Reece and that makes them.
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Daddies. Both of them.
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They're like her surrogate daddies.
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That's gross, but. They're enemies.
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They could become lovers. I don't know.
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This is a long. Series A throttle, right?
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But there's so much law behind them.
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The law is the law is Loring. It's it's not a harem girl,
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don't worry. Oh, you're, you're dreaming way
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too big. Enemies to lovers arc of all.
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Time full clarification. I have read all of them and
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Carla has read these two right and.
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Barely at that. Sorry.
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Just in case you were wondering. But anyway, Tamlin's like, yeah,
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you're going to stay indoors. Rapunzel vibe.
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He mother gothled her. He's not going to look at her,
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not going to eat dinner with her.
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He can't even get up when she's throwing up in the toilet.
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Right. The only time this man has an
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interest in her is when he fucks her.
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And I feel like he does it either right before she goes or
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like it's almost strategic. Yes, in a way.
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Yeah. It's almost like he doesn't want
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to. He's like, I know you've been
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throwing up, girl, but I'm just going to.
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So they're like, they're set to get married.
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Like any conversation she had with that girl about the wedding
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planning. Anthony.
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Why I don't give a fuck? She was the weirdest.
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Bitchy. Is she in love with Tamlin?
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She's in love with power, so she's not inherently in love
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with one. Does she want to be her?
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No, I don't think she wants to be favorite.
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I just think she wants power. So however she gets there is
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usually through whatever means. But she was kind of like a
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worthless character, really. Well.
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She is in there, she's not in the next one.
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Oh yeah, so 'cause you know how much I hate weddings.
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We hate weddings. I don't even know.
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And then Fast forward, they're at the wedding.
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She's in the biggest, poofiest, ugliest dress ever.
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Cinderella worse, getting walked down the aisle.
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I don't even know. Is she getting walked down the
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aisle? She's walking down the aisle
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screaming in her head, looking for everyone for help.
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She's like, I'm actually trapped.
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Apparently we're knowing, I think that's what it's called.
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Doesn't make any sound. So when he comes in, he actually
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is just being really, really dramatic.
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How did I not write this down but fuck.
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The winnowing. Towards the end of the book, it
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was every second word. Yeah.
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And I was like, did we just discover this?
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How? Well, did you listen to the
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normal audio book or did you normal?
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Not the dramatic one, the. Dramatic one.
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They've made it like a weird electric.
12:12
Really. Like no sound?
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Yeah. Oh I feel like it should be like
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sand dropping like if it was a sound like.
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AI thought it'd be like A cause winnowing.
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I don't know, That just made me think of like a tree.
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Like a whoosh. Yeah, like a whoosh.
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What's it like in Harry Potter? When they operate, it's kind of
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like over. Yeah.
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No. It's like a.
12:30
Don't they sort of implode? I don't.
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Yeah, They sort of go, yeah. Juicy.
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Yeah. I don't know.
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When they kept talking about it, I was like, fuck off.
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Like, this is convenient. Winnow in winnow.
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Out. You notice how only two can
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winnow in and then the other two can only fly.
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So it's just A and then they have constant things where
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people can't winnow, so they can only fly.
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Mm hmm. The Shields and whatnot, it's.
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Exhausting. And so, of course, Reese is
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there. Obviously he's like.
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I'm here, bitch. I'm ready to be received.
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And she's like, my feet be cold. I got the cold feedies.
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I got the urge to be a runaway bride which respect she.
13:14
Wouldn't get far though. Like on her own.
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I honestly think I Anthony would like staple her to the ground
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probably. Or the.
13:21
Dress Reese is like say less queen and he just zaps her out
13:26
of there. But doesn't he like as if
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Tamlin's forgotten or something? Tamlin, bro, you knew this was
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happening, didn't he? Yeah, he.
13:34
Knew. Why is he acting brand new?
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He's like this doesn't have to be real, doesn't bitch.
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Do we go over this at the end of?
13:42
Last book do you not see her entire tattooed Hello?
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But why was he acting? Brand new.
13:48
I was like, did I have amnesia? And he forgot?
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He knew this was happening, he just didn't know when.
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Yeah, I thought it was like an arranged set.
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Days. Oh, just a week.
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A month. OK, I thought it was like on
14:01
Monday. It's David Tamlin.
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Monday, the 1st of Monday. Exactly.
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But yeah, he's acting brand new and he's like, we don't have to
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do this, do we? I'm like, shut up, Tamlin.
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You can't just talk your way out of everything.
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And then Reece is being a full smart ass about it.
14:15
Oh yeah. And he's like, anyway.
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And then she's kind of like, thanks for the lift, but like.
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No worry. She's so.
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An arguably sexier man has just zapped in to get you and you're
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like, like, shut up. My ego would be so huge, so
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huge. Hate men would be huge.
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Oh. Don't you like to shoe at him?
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I mean. Was it a glass slipper to go
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just a slipper? What is she?
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Wearing under the Cinderella dress.
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Converses stop. It's Brian Bellis 1.
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No. Not the bright green.
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High tops, not high tops to like the ankle, high tops to the
14:57
knee. Laced up, how does she take that
15:01
shit off to throw it? She's like hold up, She's
15:03
nimble. She's like, please hold.
15:06
He actually turned really slow. She's.
15:10
Like, well, it goes with the emo vibe.
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If they were black with white laces.
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Yeah, that's what she comes back with after being with Reese.
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Oh no, imagine like a glass slipper though and it just goes
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face like shatters, no. She's she went re saying oh.
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Sorry. You know what?
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I mean, yeah, fuck, I'm still throwing it down like a.
15:33
Fuck, I'd be like, shake me back, I've got another shoe.
15:37
At this point, though, she still wants to be with.
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TAMLIN, OH. Delulu.
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Like we've already seen enough last.
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Book. I'm ready.
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Miles ahead, I'm ready. You're like, I'm done.
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I'm. Anti Tamlin already.
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Fuck that man then. Poor people with all the Tamlin
15:50
tattoos. But like, why do you but like,
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why do you think like? There's no words.
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There's no words for what's. Going on no.
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OK, OK bitch, bitch, lock in favour.
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Why do you think you don't want to get married to this man?
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Idiot. Because he's ugly now.
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I'm kidding. He's like there's.
16:12
There's a reason for your she's getting.
16:15
Hurt in a house? Yeah.
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But I also think she feels like she owes him and it's just a
16:22
constant cycle of guilt. I love like she's like 1 foot
16:29
off the ground after like Reece's scoop drop and she's
16:31
like. No.
16:33
Indecisive Queen she's. Like no, don't take me falling
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back into Reece like full flop. Move.
16:40
Quicker she's like move quicker. She's like, get this into gear.
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Breathe the room. Flap those things.
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Brother, let's get to. Flapping, He's like immediately
16:53
turned off. He's like, oh, she's a.
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Bra girl, bra. High face.
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She's. A brother in Christ, I need you
17:04
to get her moving. But I want it to look authentic.
17:07
Answer my prayers. John although it's kind of slave
17:12
because like, it's your wedding to fuck up, you know what I
17:15
mean? Like iconic.
17:16
They'll be talking about it for decades.
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Decades. She did the right thing.
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And then she's. Going to be she's going to be an
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issue at Reese, like holding her.
17:25
She's like boom tire lace up, converse knee high.
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Could you imagine the? History book so it's like it's
17:35
like favorite curse breaker and then it's like explaining the
17:38
wedding. She was stolen away in her green
17:42
knee high converses, platformed and.
17:49
Then they've got it in a museum somewhere.
17:51
Behind the glass. Do you think he has?
17:54
To play hours on them too. Oh, like embroidered?
17:57
Oh, no, really. I reckon embroidered with like
18:00
Tamlin on the like the sole. Of the ship.
18:04
And then not only that, they've preserved it so much that you
18:07
can see Rusen's full face and makeup like they printed on the
18:11
side. Because you can't tell me he
18:13
doesn't have a full emo beat. Nut Bull.
18:16
Fuck. We love an eyeliner man.
18:20
He's definitely got an eyeliner. He's definitely got an eyeliner,
18:23
and I feel like some wispies in the corners, 'cause he's got cat
18:26
eye, you know what I mean? We love.
18:28
That cat eye or pink eye? Why not both?
18:34
So poor Reese at this point I always feel.
18:36
Bad for him. Because.
18:37
Like he's low key doing what she wants he's got.
18:40
Some patience, hey? Apparently she learnt to read
18:45
every single word in a dictionary.
18:48
The fact that she just learnt how to read was the most fast
18:52
forwarded, glossed over aspects of this entire book.
18:56
She went from completely illiterate.
18:59
To understanding the entire. Language I was like.
19:05
Damn of a couple of letters. Ridiculous, ridiculous.
19:08
I think that was a really funny part as well.
19:10
I was like, oh, it's no longer convenient for her to.
19:13
Be illiterate, No. Yeah, cool.
19:15
Doesn't work for the pot now, at least if they.
19:18
Explained it as that was one of the other phase powers that she
19:22
sort of absorbed. Yeah, let's say one of them was
19:25
really good at all differently. But I suppose she was there for
19:27
like a week long and she wasn't doing anything else.
19:31
Give me a week and I'll show you how I won't learn anything.
19:34
She just suddenly became motivated.
19:36
I would just flop on the couch. Actual.
19:39
She comes back and she's like, I just missed you.
19:42
And he's like, yeah, but sit in this chair and tell me
19:44
everything. Mm hmm.
19:45
Immediately, yeah. He's like, tell me, is it
19:48
exactly hard? Is this where the Night Court
19:50
is? Is this like, what's the
19:51
passcode to the security gate? Literally everything.
19:53
Where's the entrance? How do I get in?
19:57
It's like, bitch, what? But also when she went over to
20:01
night cord Reese is just telling her everything.
20:03
Blabbermouth McGee over here he. Doesn't give a fuck.
20:07
Him and all of his hench men are just like, yeah, so this
20:09
happened and then this happened. She knows not only the secrets
20:12
of everything, but the tea and he.
20:14
Doesn't care either, he's like go tell him he's like fuck
20:19
basically. They're treating her fine over
20:21
at Night Court. They don't feed the bitch.
20:24
She's fed, she's sleeping in a proper bed, she's not throwing
20:29
up. He even put her in a room full
20:30
of windows because she's claustrophobic.
20:33
So he's it's like the bare minimum, but like, at least he's
20:36
paying attention. He's listening.
20:38
He's learning. OK, this is a hypothetical for
20:40
you. Yeah, OK.
20:42
If we took the sickness and lack of food out of it, would you
20:45
rather be living the life in Spring Court where at least you
20:48
don't have to know anything and you can be to Lulu and just look
20:51
down at the Rose bed and like, let's say you could have
20:53
freedom. Or would you rather be told
20:55
everything, expected to go to training and know all of the
20:58
scary stuff that's going on? I don't know whether I want to
21:01
be lazy and. Bored.
21:03
That would be nice. Or I'm bored.
21:06
No, you know what? The night court seems more fun
21:09
because hear me out, Even without all the trauma and
21:12
sickness, she's just got the outside gardens and people.
21:17
Yeah, right. Right.
21:19
I hate going outside. I do love shopping.
21:24
I think I would appreciate more a nice little house where I can
21:29
walk down to a cafe and go shopping over being in an open
21:33
field for hours on end. Do you know what I mean?
21:36
Like she can either go read a book now by like a lake, or she
21:43
can go read a book at a cafe and then go to a gallery and.
21:46
Take more things to do. Yeah.
21:49
Valid. I feel like the Night Court.
21:51
Yeah, I knew you'd pick night. That's why I tried to level one
21:54
out. Yeah, not being captured, part
21:56
of it. Yeah, yeah, I just like I am a
21:59
lazy girl, but I do not like the sun.
22:02
But the spring is giving itchy and hay fever.
22:05
There's only so many flowers you can look at.
22:07
You could become nocturnal in night court.
22:09
I feel you. Just sleep the day away.
22:11
Also the spring court doesn't have any fun things like they
22:15
have *4 and stuff in the night court and.
22:17
Yeah, true. I feel like it's more fun.
22:19
It's like. It is like it's more grown up.
22:21
Yes, if she wants to walk to a pub in the Spring Court, she has
22:26
to walk a couple of towns. Yeah.
22:27
And then probably. Closed.
22:29
Probably closed, but she wants to go out to a nice dinner and
22:32
then go Uptown after. She's just walking down the
22:35
road. Do you know what I mean?
22:36
How are you? We've picked a setting.
22:38
Night Court. Yeah, because I can't even
22:40
remember because Spring Court was last book, so I feel.
22:43
Like in my mind, she was just in a house in the middle of
22:47
nowhere. Well, she yeah, we didn't get to
22:48
see much of. It in a forest the.
22:49
Spring Court people are kind of boring.
22:52
Yeah, like if. You think about that, whereas
22:54
the Night Court people have so much beef they keep spilling the
22:58
tea, There's all this gossip that you can sort of suss out.
23:01
And I feel like they're a little bit more funny, yeah, serious
23:05
all the time. Whereas at least they're like
23:07
giving each other the shits, right?
23:09
OK, so she's been sort of like, accepted into the Night Court,
23:12
obviously, yes. She's met all the cast of
23:14
characters. They're not really hiding
23:15
anything. No.
23:16
And then restarts gradually. And it keeps going, obviously,
23:19
through the whole book, but like, this little blurts of
23:21
trauma dumping. Yeah.
23:23
And I found the worst part of it is she keeps like, misreading
23:27
the vibe. And when he blurt something, she
23:31
tries to turn it into a weird flirty banter, but in the worst
23:35
way possible. And she kept doing it.
23:37
Yeah. And I was like.
23:38
Like just let him be sad read. The.
23:40
Room let it be sad for a minute. Why do we got to go straight
23:43
into? But I feel like she Loki
23:45
misjudges his whole personality because he's not like that all
23:49
the time. And she goes, he loves banter
23:52
and he just like, wants to rail me.
23:54
Didn't let him have a drink on the balcony, Girl, finally.
23:58
But it gets worse as the book goes on listening.
24:00
Also she's just trying to distract him so it's hard but
24:04
she. Could do so so much off.
24:06
Like imagine roles reversed if a guy did that to you.
24:08
Like if you were. Crying.
24:10
Loki talking about your whole family dying and all that, and
24:13
then she's like, well, they're not hearing, are they?
24:15
And when everything touches you down your thigh.
24:18
You'd be like we. Can actually go to the laundry
24:20
store. Oh, the lingerie store, I forgot
24:24
about that. That was.
24:25
Terrible. This.
24:29
Is so they go immediately when she gets back, we're back to
24:36
villain Temlin. They have the type, the tax on
24:40
the town where he's taxing everyone their last scraps for
24:44
his last. Cracker, give it to me.
24:46
Give it to. Me.
24:48
You're to me. He's like you peasants, yous
24:52
have to live in filth with no food as long as I'm paid or I
24:56
hunt you down. That would have been enough for
24:58
me. No wonder why she's starving.
25:00
Well, she even says she's like, we don't need it.
25:02
We don't need her fish. We don't need her mushrooms.
25:05
And he's like, yeah, but it's the principle.
25:07
Change it. What do you mean?
25:11
She's like, this freaking world sucks.
25:13
Also then everyone bullying her for giving like her jewels to
25:17
the water Wraith, they're like how dare you, she's just gonna
25:20
waste it so. But it was in exchange for what
25:24
she wanted, so it's not like it was for nothing.
25:27
It worked. In the end.
25:29
Everyone was so judgment. Actually, the one thing that
25:31
Sarah J Maas does in all of her books, I have noticed, is she
25:34
does small acts of kindness that help in the, like, long run.
25:39
Like she slowly does it and they always end up saving the plot or
25:44
whatever. Worth it?
25:44
Yeah. And wasn't it that they kind of
25:47
teased in Night Court that they were gonna train her?
25:49
So she sort of came to Tamlin with a bit more attitude almost,
25:53
and they were like, fucking shut up and go back to your room.
25:56
Yeah, essentially. I think they were also confused.
25:59
They're like, why wouldn't, why wouldn't he train you?
26:01
Oh. Yeah, at Night Court they were
26:03
like, uh. Makes no sense.
26:05
And then she was starting to question things.
26:07
She was like, oh, they don't seem to mind that I want to win.
26:11
Yeah, why would it be weird? Do you remember one time she
26:14
came back with the fighting Leathers or whatever and then in
26:17
the Spring Court they were like, what the fuck are you wearing?
26:19
I think she came back in like. See through chiffon puffy flowy
26:24
hippie pants like we were just like pants pants a woman.
26:30
She starts looking at Reese differently, 'cause she's like,
26:33
oh, he's actually hot girl. We.
26:35
Blind. We've been no one.
26:37
We've been no one this whole time.
26:38
He's nice. You know what they did all this
26:41
work for more to take her out of the house and they still waged a
26:44
war. He was like I did everything
26:46
right and then they're still acting like she was stolen.
26:49
Hmm she should just blown up the house.
26:51
Can't lock me in a house if you don't have one by did the.
26:55
Supreme Court like, and Tamlin really know how powerful she is,
26:59
Yeah. I think Lucian was trying to get
27:01
her trained and was trying to like ask Tamlin and Ianthi to do
27:06
it and they were all talking about how they knew she was a
27:08
powerful person and that it would be a bad look.
27:11
But opposed to what? Her accidentally blowing up your
27:13
fucking. House, they just wanted to keep
27:15
her dumb. I'm like, you can use her to
27:18
your advantage. She's got everyone's power.
27:21
She could keep the Spring Court running.
27:24
But Tamlin couldn't handle that because he's the type of guy
27:26
that can't have a girlfriend earning more money than he
27:29
would. No.
27:31
He would not. That's.
27:32
What I mean he is alpha male in the worst way.
27:36
He's a podcast bro. Then you can't tell me
27:38
otherwise. I feel like he's monotone.
27:42
Bossy I. Know one of those guys see blue
27:46
eyes, but they're scary blue eyes.
27:47
Does that make sense? Yes, how they're like.
27:49
Piercing and not as I. Could think of one person, but
27:52
I'm not going to say who he's giving like CEO in a bad way.
27:58
Like remember that book where he was like fly eye, hi baby,
28:02
whatever the fuck that book was from.
28:03
I know you know exactly what I'm talking about.
28:05
Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about.
28:07
That man is what he reminds me of.
28:09
Isn't that James Jameson? James James or whatever?
28:13
Yeah. Name it I hate.
28:15
Him or was it Patrick? What's his face?
28:18
I. Feel like either one of those oh
28:20
fucks I feel like it was. Jimmy James Jimmy Jameson
28:24
Jameson Jameson. I hated him.
28:28
What? Which it was the.
28:30
Mile hike. No, no, no.
28:32
Not my heart. The stopover.
28:34
The stopover fucking kill me with.
28:35
The gold on the book hated him. So much.
28:38
That he is. It's the same, I said.
28:43
It's the same. Energy.
28:45
OK, if Tamlin was Australian, Yeah.
28:48
What would he give? Oh my God.
28:52
DV obviously. Obviously DV wife beater, right?
28:56
Duh. But like finance?
28:58
Bro yeah. Crypto even.
29:00
Gym guy, Hear me out. Yeah, that there's this gym guy.
29:04
He's not, not a bad person. He's a gym guy.
29:07
And he when he promotes everything he's always swearing
29:10
and slapping shit down. I think his girlfriend is
29:14
Avalon. No idea, not a clue.
29:17
Not my algorithm. I'll show you.
29:19
I feel like I can find it very quickly and he's always like,
29:23
you fucking pieces of shit aren't doing enough.
29:26
Damn. Yeah, I might actually need that
29:28
in the gym. And he's not doing it in a mean
29:31
way, but that's how I feel. Oh, you know what Tamlin's
29:34
giving? He's giving nepo baby that got
29:36
charged with sexual assault but he gets away with it.
29:39
Oh, like that guy in the news? Yes.
29:41
Football guy's son. No, no, no.
29:43
The Chemist Warehouse 1. The bug No I.
29:47
Haven't heard that one. It's all over the news.
29:50
Oh. No, we could never do a true
29:52
crime podcast. Nah.
29:54
Because the way that would be like which one of the Chemist
29:58
Warehouse? Rapist.
30:01
OK, if Tamlin ordered a drink at the bar, what would it be?
30:04
Oh. My God, what would it be?
30:07
He's not giving 4X gold. He's not given If we're going
30:11
Australian standard, yeah, Australian.
30:13
Like he's giving something really obnoxious.
30:15
Oh, right. Like a Scotch or a whiskey.
30:19
But he's like. Gonna have whiskey sour or some
30:21
shit. Like it's gotta be mixed in.
30:22
It's not a girly. Yeah, like rancid, but the ice
30:27
has to be a big block. Yeah, a big.
30:30
Sculpted block. A big sculpted block.
30:34
It's gotta happen with flowers sculpted in the middle.
30:38
Yes. Honestly, when you think about
30:40
all the courts, right, yes, relevant, so relevant and
30:44
relevant Spring Court. Fruity.
30:47
Fruity giving should be bisexual.
30:50
It probably is. I'm like, you're gonna tell me
30:53
this grown man mm hmm is running around with little flowers?
30:57
Embroidered Spring Court Embroidered in his clothes.
31:00
And he's supposed to be a scary beast if.
31:02
It was up to you which court would you actually give him?
31:05
Like a descriptive word. If I was to move him to a
31:07
different one. Yeah, where he actually belongs.
31:10
I feel like it's still Spring Court, really.
31:12
That's why he getting angry all the time.
31:14
I'd give him like bindi court. What?
31:19
Like the weeds, the prickles prickle court.
31:23
You know what's a funny rule? What?
31:26
Your reaction. I clearly it was not where you
31:30
were like a. You can make it like you're
31:35
suddenly the author. Yeah, yeah.
31:37
Bindi. Court Bindi Court, The
31:41
Australian Zoo Court. As if.
31:44
As if if don't sacrilege Steve Owen like that.
31:47
Couldn't. You.
31:50
Imagine. Him running around the zoo with.
31:52
Craig. Not their namesake.
31:58
Robert Owen is who Tamlin thinks he is running around this
32:03
fucking spring. Like a little whimsy.
32:05
Little whimsy man he is. But he's giving Jane, Jane
32:09
Jason. Stop him.
32:13
In Bindi court, kid, OK, If you were to give Reece a court and
32:18
you got to choose what it is, what would it be?
32:20
Oh damn, I feel like you've had more time to think about this.
32:25
Like a little little church altar.
32:29
Hear me out, Hear me out. Emo emo Panic at the disco on
32:35
the walls, candles, roses dripping.
32:38
Like LED lights? LED lights in the closet.
32:41
Like peak 2012 clothing. Yeah ohh, don't know how I feel
32:44
about that. Yeah, it's giving Gamer Boy.
32:47
Like everyone in their houses just has like a panic at the
32:50
dish. Go Shrine.
32:52
OK. How about you?
32:54
I would give him, you know what I'm thinking.
32:57
Just imagine every surface in the entire corner covered with
33:00
black velvet. Oh, yeah, Yeah.
33:02
And then he's got Black Cats everywhere.
33:04
Yeah, and it's Black Pussy Palace.
33:08
So a black pussy palace with emo shrines and everyone says
33:13
period. They mount on period.
33:14
They pray. There's a black velvet old so
33:17
those those are the courts, dead bindi court and pussy.
33:21
Palace slash. LED.
33:23
Lights. Silent discount.
33:26
Emo haircut everywhere. Everyone gets a pair of noise
33:29
cancelling headphones. You would love that.
33:32
You would like Night Court even more.
33:34
You can put in your antisocial noise cancelling headphones and
33:37
then go for a walk to a night cafe.
33:40
Hello. And then I can respect Pete
33:42
Davidson. Pete Davidson?
33:44
Am I thinking the same person? Wait.
33:48
I'm thinking. Oh fuck.
33:50
Why do we ever have to respect Pete Davidson?
33:53
I'm thinking of the wrong person, Pete Watts, his face
33:58
from the band of whatever I think.
34:01
Green Day No, no, no, Pat. No, Pat no.
34:06
The other one. The one with the monkeys in the
34:08
music video. Why am I doing this?
34:12
This has now become a 2000s trivia episode.
34:17
And they've got Kim Kardashian in one of the earlier ones.
34:21
Pete Wentz. Am I thinking of Pete is.
34:24
It Pete Wentz who was married to Ashley Simpson.
34:26
Yes. How are we getting closer and
34:31
scratch? Scratch Pete Davidson.
34:33
We're not allowed to Google. Honestly, Pete Davidson too.
34:36
He's. Giving me both.
34:38
Weirdo. Imagine.
34:41
OK, you good? OK, right.
34:44
Well, the Pete stop. Everyone stop Sarah J Mas.
34:47
Stop, stop, stop writing. We've got a new book for you.
34:50
OK? Rewriting Pussy Palace.
34:53
This Pussy Palace. Black Velvet Reese is the one
34:56
who picks you up and Ubers you you.
34:58
Get dropped into a. Room with Pete Davidson and then
35:02
his wings are just tattooed on. They're not even real.
35:04
And then he's just in the corner just like, well, I used to do
35:07
Kim Kardashian and you're like, oh.
35:10
And then Pete Wentz shows up and he's like, she was in my music
35:14
video once. And it's.
35:17
Actually got shrines of Kim, got a shoot.
35:20
Everywhere. And then Courtney's husband is
35:23
in there because he loves her more, He loves Kim more.
35:26
So he's just in there bishoping the shrines, all he knows, and
35:31
he matches. All he knows, all he.
35:36
Knows and Reese is like they're actually.
35:37
The gods, and then he just and then the gods.
35:40
He just drops you off and then he's like bye.
35:43
He's like, I'll come back after church is done.
35:45
But he's like the remarkably hot Uber driver he never thought
35:48
you'd have. Yeah.
35:49
And then he's out of your life forever.
35:51
Yeah. And then you're begging to go
35:52
back to Bindi court. You're like please, please.
35:56
The crocodile. She's like, I just want to see
36:02
Robert Owen once we're. Missing She's like Dancing at
36:06
the Stars. She.
36:07
Literally thought Night Court would be better.
36:12
No Oh my God, I guess it's even worse.
36:14
You get picked up by Reese. You think like OK I don't want
36:18
to get married to Tamlin. Spring Court is fine but instead
36:21
of pussy palace they drop you off and it's just CrossFit.
36:25
No. CrossFit Court.
36:32
I like. You can't.
36:33
Go back. Right.
36:37
You're already skinny, so you're like like, I'm going to have to.
36:41
Put on 20 billion kilos to even do one workout.
36:44
Oh no bro, oh bro. What would be your worst time
36:49
there? Because that's mine.
36:49
I'm just that cardiac caressed. Immediately.
36:52
I can't do cardio so that also would.
36:54
Be mine, die. I would die for real.
36:55
The heart rate or. Heart rate my.
36:58
Heart and it's blown add in for me besides the CrossFit.
37:02
Frogs. Actually throw myself just a
37:07
bit. Of frobs.
37:08
So you gotta do chin ups and the frobs are underneath.
37:11
That's your fear factor. My fear factor.
37:14
Fuck they have new fear factor. I saw a preview they're in a zip
37:17
lock baggie with the air tube and it's slowly fucking some.
37:21
I'm like that's. How?
37:23
That's how I'm not. I can.
37:24
Do that with MA. I could do that without
37:27
breathing. I want to be preserved.
37:31
If. I die.
37:33
At least my body will be good for seven to 10 business days.
37:37
Put me straight in the freezer. I'm.
37:39
Dying young. Moisturized, right?
37:41
Hydrated. They're like, oh shit, she's
37:43
actually dead. In that.
37:45
They're like, she's doing really well.
37:49
It's like we're getting nothing on vitals.
37:50
They're like looking on monitor. They're like, oh.
37:56
She tricked us. She was too good at this game.
38:00
Actually, that's another reason why I couldn't do Spring Court
38:02
because there'd 100% be so many frogs.
38:05
Yeah. Feels like frog territory.
38:07
And not only frogs, but tadpoles, so.
38:12
Like a breeding ground or Yeah. Bacteria.
38:14
Fabians, she's hanging out the window.
38:21
Course it tight. Help and this fucking frog.
38:24
Just jumps in. How you know what you know?
38:29
Their first date where they were swimming in the lake.
38:31
Autumn. Oh, toad babies.
38:34
Everywhere. Toad babies.
38:36
Hell. Hell no.
38:38
What about? Toadfish.
38:44
Yeah. You know, on the beach there's
38:46
a. Lot of.
38:46
Fishes that come up and they try get.
38:48
Girl make a choice like you evolved or not fuck.
38:53
Off. You hybrid bitch, we don't need
38:56
you. Do you want?
38:57
To be a Do you want to be a fish hoe?
38:59
At least we made a decision 2020. 6.
39:04
Hurry up, fucking. Pick a lane, Pick a lane.
39:08
A different one. Don't get.
39:10
Me started on ligers. What the fuck are they?
39:14
Lying Tiger trying to make a new thing, 2026.
39:17
Leave Joe Exotic alone. Go extinct.
39:19
Already I was just being terrible to the animal Kingdom
39:25
for this whole podcast honestly. Did you see that like Joe Exotic
39:30
sent, no, his husband sent him butt hole Prince to human jail.
39:36
Prince or like a mold? Prince like he.
39:39
What's he supposed to do with that?
39:43
Multiple on one page. So is is he doing this old
39:47
school like ass on a fax machine or?
39:50
No ink. You're like, Oh yeah.
39:56
I'm like, that's even worse. You're.
39:57
Like thank you for that information.
39:59
I wish you shut the fuck up. Was that?
40:01
Like recently. Sometimes we know too much.
40:05
Sometimes the Internet, some people.
40:07
Don't I'm not allowed on the Internet no more.
40:10
Bro. Where are we?
40:12
Who are we? Like honestly.
40:14
I don't know where we are. We OK, you know what we do need
40:16
to do? We just got to get started on
40:18
our Acuta parody where there's a bindi cord and a pussy puss
40:23
that's. Fine.
40:24
We'll get one reader. Crescent City?
40:27
No, I'm kidding. I don't know what that is.
40:30
Someone else will laugh. Look where at.
40:33
I don't know where we're. At where are her being stolen?
40:36
By who again I just more. The more again don't.
40:40
Understand it. Give me more.
40:41
Give me more. Sorry, I just went back to.
40:47
CrossFit court and how quickly I would wanna come back.
40:51
I'd be marrying Tamlin. It'll be like I'll.
40:53
Stand on the prickles. Stand on Yeah.
40:55
I'll be like, I'll stand on them and accept your wedding room.
40:59
I would rather just be anorexic. Than fit mm hmm.
41:03
Hello, I don't. Have the fortitude.
41:05
That's that's a, that's another day, another problem, not a
41:08
strength. Not a lifetime home.
41:11
Not me, another person. Yeah, not me, not my destiny.
41:15
No. Can we talk about how?
41:18
Reece and the mob, well mainly Reece training her with her
41:21
mental Shields and powers is very much giving.
41:24
Snape and Harry, book 5. But they get sexy.
41:27
But they get sexy. Can you imagine Reece?
41:32
No. Yes.
41:33
And he's like, go on favour, put your head in the pen, see you
41:36
just he'll never look at Snape the same way.
41:42
Snape with his black velvet gown.
41:43
That's. A dead man leave him, Rest in
41:50
peace. Come on.
41:53
So. He's like asking for it.
41:58
Snape was problematic for a long time.
42:01
He's been a hurry for a long time.
42:03
Snape was bullied, so let's just keep it going like she's.
42:06
Going It's the only thing he knows.
42:09
Yeah, we've got to build character sometime, right?
42:12
But him just like dipping Favour's head in the pen, Steve.
42:15
Just like drowned bitch. He's like, what a bitch.
42:19
Dragon illiterate hoe. Cassian was also side training
42:22
her in like swords and that it was just not in there.
42:26
At all. I feel like.
42:28
Cassians even hotter like help. US.
42:31
Because you're starting at this level and then you're.
42:33
Constantly ramping it up I. Don't know what to do.
42:39
Walking outside in Volaris and she's just like, where am I
42:42
going? Yeah.
42:43
Literally like. Your eyes are.
42:48
Just going to the next man. Reece was already to step up
42:51
from Tamelin. Yes.
42:52
And now you're telling me about Cassian.
42:54
Yeah, fuck off. What about Azrael?
42:57
Wait, which one was? That he's the other one with
42:58
wings. OK, he's getting real.
43:00
Hammer me in here. It's.
43:02
Giving it's. Giving reverse hammer it's given
43:06
you know what it's doing The thing that I hate in books where
43:09
everyone's pairing off and I fucking.
43:11
OK, mates are supposed to be like this once in a lifetime
43:15
rare thing. And every single second person
43:18
has a mate. Mm hmm.
43:19
We get it. Yeah, it's not that rare.
43:21
I know. It's every.
43:22
Everyone has a mate. Everyone's supposed to be so
43:25
rare. We saw what happens in real life
43:28
when there's the Olympic Village and these athletes, these hot
43:31
athletes are together. They be fucking they be.
43:34
Pretending like these hoes ain't fucking for the last hundreds of
43:37
years if they enjoy sex 'cause you know how he's like.
43:41
Touch my wing. You're telling me they're not
43:46
going to pound down you? The way.
43:49
OK, hear me out, hear me out. With the wing touching, right.
43:52
I think she's already locked into this man, so it's fine.
43:55
It's fine. But if someone told me that and
43:58
then we've got Cassie and Azrael, I would be like, what do
44:02
they feel like suddenly? No imagine like she's like
44:09
touching his wing and he just juices and shit.
44:14
It's giving wet dream. It's giving.
44:16
Just giving Archers voice. No, it's.
44:20
Terrible. Except now they're not
44:22
illiterate. No.
44:24
Can we talk about how convenient it was that when they were
44:27
putting on a show for that guy that they were trying to upset
44:30
him or whatever? They were trying to prove that
44:33
Favour is Reese's bitch, but they weren't.
44:36
Yeah, but they weren't actually at that stage yet.
44:38
Yes, and she was frothing it up. Isn't it funny how there's
44:42
always that fake them having to grind on each other, like
44:47
leading up? It's not tension to me because
44:49
it just gives. Ick, I feel like I could have
44:52
done so many other things. As a distraction, it was trash.
44:56
Yeah. Who cares?
44:57
Because when people are grinding all over each other in public,
45:00
the last thing I want to do is Ogle them.
45:03
Yeah, but The thing is, he wasn't ogling them in like,
45:06
lust. He was like, disgusted.
45:08
He was so distracted and annoyed.
45:10
And I think if they all have big ass egos, he was like, I want to
45:15
kill them. But also I would just turn
45:17
around. Like if I was stuck in a party
45:21
and I was not allowed to leave, I would turn around, right?
45:25
I would be getting that wine for hours.
45:28
Exactly, Yeah. Like shut your eyes.
45:30
And that's Moore's dad rank. So isn't that?
45:34
His uncle? I don't, yeah.
45:38
Because she's the cousin. I don't understand their family
45:41
dynamic I. Know I need a tree.
45:43
I need a family tree. I feel like they're cousins but
45:46
I don't know who. I'm assuming cousins to his dad.
45:49
I don't remember the politics. Nah.
45:52
That was going on at the time, no, but I was like, they need to
45:54
distract this bitch because they're trying to sneak off and.
45:56
We also had like a lot of things happen between them, like this
46:00
600 pages of like, it's constantly in an event we're in
46:04
the summer court for a couple of days, them stealing the book and
46:07
her flirting with Tarquin. Oh my God.
46:10
I loved that. Yeah, it was them jealous, them
46:13
jealous at each other angry. I'm like, read the room.
46:16
You're both literally openly jealous.
46:18
You're not going to have a conversation about it.
46:20
But not only that, I swear to God, right before that they both
46:24
agreed that they were going to do this low key spy thing
46:27
anyway. Yeah.
46:29
So they knew it was the setup and then they were like.
46:31
Oh. Yeah, and then they're getting
46:33
butt hurt about them talking to each other.
46:35
So Tarquin is like one of the newest high phase or some shit
46:40
and he's still got a bit of that mortal.
46:42
Young Energy. Yeah, and he's so woke.
46:45
Still like Loki? You know, it's wild.
46:47
They'll be like, he's practically a 16 year old boy,
46:50
but he's like 102. Like come on, come on now, come
46:53
on. His frontal lobe only slightly
46:55
developed, apparently. And so she kind of likes him.
46:58
Yeah, she's chatting to him. She knows how to result.
47:02
She kind of just genuinely likes him and she goes, he's actually
47:04
a good guy. We could just literally ask him
47:06
for this stupid book thing. Also, she's in his head at some
47:09
point trying to calm him down. She could have been like, oh,
47:13
maybe we should talk to them about the book.
47:15
Like she could have planted something in there.
47:19
You know what though? Like, although she kind of likes
47:21
him and he's actually a nice dude, he smells like clams.
47:25
Oh, 100%. 100% she was in his brain.
47:29
Briny, salty, oceanic feta cheese like he's giving.
47:41
Wet. No, he's giving damp, damp.
47:46
Algae, moist, moldy roof. Could you imagine just eating
47:52
fish all day? That sounds like hell.
47:54
Fish breath. So although like he had all the
47:56
qualities of like someone interesting.
47:58
Hot man and hot. And I was sort of rooting for it
48:03
for a second. I was like, just make Reese
48:05
jealous. I don't.
48:05
Care, fuck him. And then she was so jealous she
48:09
thought Reese went to. To bed with that girl Cressida,
48:13
I think her name was. She was sitting on his.
48:15
Lap Oh, she was. Why are they all grinding on
48:17
each other? She's come down and then.
48:20
And then? I.
48:23
Think it was like the next day she was like how's your
48:26
girlfriend? How's her pussy pretty?
48:29
Much she's like she's like to go to the pussy palace.
48:34
I've been there. And then he was just like, he
48:41
goes, bitch, you knew we had this arrangement and he was
48:45
pretty much like, it was insufferable to have to talk to
48:47
her and pretend to flirt with you.
48:49
Loved it. Your ego loved it.
48:52
I feel like that was the most funny.
48:54
Had this whole book. Talking in this chick.
48:58
I reckon he wasn't even looking at Feyra, but he was definitely
49:02
looking at her through someone else's eyes.
49:05
Like he was not giving her the satisfaction, but he was
49:07
definitely using someone else, probably to stare her down.
49:10
Like, don't you fucking do it. What is this giving?
49:13
This is giving the guardian at the inn from Shield to Sparrows,
49:18
who was actually trying to book a brothel appointment like he
49:22
was not interested in her. No.
49:25
Like, I'm sorry, but if you turned around like and told me
49:28
towards the end of this book that Reese doesn't give a fuck
49:31
about favour, I'd be like, OK. No.
49:33
He's constantly no, but he's constantly doing stuff.
49:37
I would. I'd be like.
49:42
I reckon he does it slyly through the book.
49:45
Yeah, she's just a dumb, dumb. We're also in her head.
49:48
So it's also what? Exactly.
49:50
Yeah, I would just believe it. I'd be like, oh, OK.
49:53
It's all being fake. It's giving 19 year old girl.
49:56
Delulu, Delulu. But he had a really good
49:59
explanation. He's just like, bitch, no.
50:01
I would never, I would never stoop so low.
50:04
Shama when he's a million years old.
50:06
So he's finally ready to settle. Oh.
50:08
My God. But he's finally ready to
50:14
commit. Like 500 and. 50 years old.
50:17
Yuck yuck. And he's.
50:18
Finally ready? Plenty of time.
50:20
You're telling me he hasn't had a single mate any other time?
50:24
And also why doesn't she question hello the end of last
50:28
book with the tattoos and shit? That shit just doesn't happen.
50:34
We really needed videos you. Can flow air through her head,
50:39
right ears. I feel like out of all the
50:41
podcasts we've ever done, today would have helped to have
50:43
facial. Expressions every. 5 seconds.
50:47
Great. Then they get back from the
50:51
Summer Court. Nothing really.
50:53
I mean, they get the book. She almost drowns the water
50:56
rave. It's is who's there.
50:59
They get back and he's like sending visions of them in the
51:02
lingerie store. Biggest cop tease?
51:08
Because I forgot about it. I've read the book and I forgot
51:10
about it when she was walking down the stairs and she was
51:12
like, he's in. That would have given me the
51:14
egg. For one.
51:15
I'm not going to no lingerie store to be getting dressed and
51:19
undressed for some random man I've only known for a month.
51:22
But yeah, she falls over and she's like, fuck that man.
51:25
They're so horny all the time. Just work it out.
51:28
They're. Annoying.
51:29
Vibrators, you've got money now. The.
51:32
Bit that pissed me off the most is that this stupid text
51:36
messaging? Yes, in the form of those stupid
51:38
letters that would disappear. Oh.
51:41
I was raging. I was like fuck off.
51:43
And the one time he didn't collect it, I was like.
51:47
It was when she's trying to be sexy again.
51:49
She's like you up. Like when they were.
51:52
Fighting. My pussy's out.
51:55
It was often big. It was after the mountain and
51:58
they it was like. It was like fully.
52:02
Trauma, not positive. Yeah, it's like I begged.
52:06
Him to send a Dick pic. It was after under the mountain
52:09
after grinding each other, then yelling at each other and her
52:12
using him against him and she's full like going for a shower.
52:16
Literally. And then he wasn't taking.
52:18
What are you? Wearing and I wouldn't either
52:20
you. She.
52:23
Literally thought I haven't. Read any of them he's.
52:26
Nearly 600 years old, I think he hasn't gone through like all of
52:32
the sexual things that well, he was imprisoned yeah, and
52:35
sexually assaulted so even more reason why he doesn't using.
52:40
Sex as a. Ploy.
52:42
He's already done that. He's done everything.
52:45
Which way? From Sunday, Yeah.
52:47
And he had. He didn't want to do it.
52:48
No SO. Like, why would you think that's
52:51
the way I? Really think she would have got
52:53
him if she was like do you want to cuddle?
52:55
Literally. Idiot.
52:59
She would. Do you want to snuggle in bed?
53:01
Yeah. He would have been like in there
53:02
in a second. That's.
53:03
What? I mean, idiot, she could have
53:05
been like staring to each other's eyes for two hours.
53:09
The thing would have disappeared immediately.
53:11
Yeah. But she's like, do you want to
53:13
just hardcore pound me for 12 hours straight?
53:17
And he's like, the man's tired. He's.
53:21
Exhausted. He's.
53:22
Exhausted. And didn't she already know
53:24
this? She knew this.
53:27
I think. She already knew about the
53:28
sexual trauma too. She's just so 19 year old girl.
53:32
He's probably sitting there in his room, like, why did you have
53:36
to give me? The horniest bitch.
53:39
The horniest 19 year old girl. He's like.
53:42
She's not traumatized enough to leave me the fuck alone for 5
53:46
minutes. I know he's like.
53:48
He's like just go back to vomiting for half of my nuts.
53:51
I know he's like, we shouldn't have fed her.
53:53
Tamworth had the. Right.
53:55
Take her back. Let me mope.
53:58
So I don't know if it was like before or after that that weird
54:00
non talking thing, but Reese trauma dumps the biggest family
54:05
law that it's all Tamlin's family started it.
54:09
It was like a whole fucking 12 chapters of trauma Dom.
54:12
I was like, shut up. Was it when she was making him
54:14
soup? Yeah, she was deciding if there
54:16
were going to be mates for real, for real, OK, And if she serves
54:19
him the soup, then that's yes and then made it.
54:22
But then if not. Because I'm not, I'm not sure
54:25
when she did. I remember the 12 page trauma.
54:28
Dom Yeah, it was a lot, yeah. And so he was pretty much saying
54:32
Tamlin's family killed his family and.
54:35
Sister, mum and sister and then him and then.
54:37
Him and his dad killed Talons whole family.
54:40
Yeah yeah, weird. Feels valid.
54:43
And that's how they entered their enemies era.
54:45
And she's like, oh, cool. But they originally were friends
54:48
because he felt bad for 10/1. Yeah.
54:51
And the soup conversation was more about him admitting their
54:53
his feelings. Yes, it still wasn't direct
54:56
enough. Yes.
54:57
Bitch, are you serving the soup or not?
54:59
But he was essentially like, yeah, just casually being in
55:02
love with you for a while, like, cool.
55:03
And then she just plunks down the soup and then he eats it.
55:05
And then that's like, you're engaged.
55:07
Yes, to be maiden dumb you want. Me to serve a man.
55:12
Stop it, I won't do that. No, it's.
55:16
Not happening. Well, I love how she's like, I
55:17
can't cook but I can heat up this soup and a can.
55:21
Me as Buck. After she.
55:24
Painted his entire fucking so mind you, she's we've gotten to
55:30
that point, but she's crawled in some weaver's house to get some
55:34
fucking ring, which is wild to me.
55:37
This is what I mean when I reckon fair pays no attention to
55:41
him saying he's practically attracted to her because she was
55:45
on his knees going do you like me on my knees?
55:48
And she's like, I don't even no, it's happening.
55:51
Girl. Girl, that's what he had to tell
55:55
her in full detail day one. Tragic, tragic time was wasted.
55:59
Like if. He told her that she's such a
56:00
pygmy, she would have like this whole book would have been
56:03
avoided. It would have been a lot easier.
56:06
But to be fair, there was a point where he told her to write
56:09
a letter to Tamlin and say that you're not coming back.
56:12
And then Tamlin thought it was fucking fake anyway.
56:14
She was illiterate when she left.
56:17
He was never gonna know she knew how to write.
56:19
Write. She's gonna read when she left.
56:20
Exactly. So he's like that's fake and
56:21
gay. He's.
56:23
Like. Hey, I so we're.
56:26
Just giving ChatGPT. Yeah, he's like fake news.
56:29
Fake news. He was still coming to get her
56:31
no matter what. He doesn't know what her
56:33
handwriting looks like. Bitch doesn't write.
56:35
No. He's like Reese obviously wrote
56:38
that, this girly script, and then nothing changed, you know?
56:42
It was chicken scratch. And the bit where Tamlin and
56:46
Lucian roll up. Oh.
56:49
Angry, angry. It's.
56:50
Giving worse supporting actor because that whole scene I was
56:53
like. Was it?
56:55
Which one? The one where just before he was
56:57
poisoned and they one bedded it? Because before Tamlin, you're
57:03
like, what? And they are training.
57:06
And then Lucian shows up and tries to take her and she turns
57:08
into a like. When Tamlin was with Ayesha, and
57:11
I think is that later after she sent the notes, right.
57:14
And then he's like, obviously you're lying, obviously you want
57:17
to come back with me, and he's just held you here.
57:19
Yep, and looking at a will, looking at a all healthy, all
57:23
love. Dalton put it together because
57:25
he's a man. Can't see No.
57:26
Can't see shit. Yeah, but before that we had the
57:29
the one bed trope in the stinky and.
57:32
Low key forget. Before he gets poisoned, they go
57:35
stay at an inn because they're training.
57:37
I actually have no reason why they just didn't go back to the
57:39
camp, but they stay at an inn where they're stuck together on
57:43
a small bed and that's where your fingers are.
57:45
Is this Reece? Yeah.
57:47
I probably drowned it out because I was too busy focusing
57:49
on the wing foreplay. Oh yeah, yeah, Yep, Yep.
57:52
It's really the same time. There was like, I swear there
57:54
was dry humping as well. There was pretty much yeah,
57:57
yeah, she was getting fingered. She was like, I just want he.
58:02
Didn't want to bang all the way. Did he?
58:04
I don't think he can bang without them becoming mates.
58:07
So I think he was just not doing that.
58:10
So he's. Just going around not banging
58:11
people for 500 years. No no, I think he can bang other
58:14
people but they love that thing. They accept the mate bond.
58:19
Like I think it clicks together when they fuck.
58:22
OK, it's give an avatar. Exactly.
58:24
Some weird avatar shit. It's.
58:26
Giving joining of tales. The ponytails.
58:30
Little braids. Little rat tails.
58:33
I feel like. Anyone could grind on Feyra and
58:36
she'd. She's horny as fuck.
58:38
She's. So horny.
58:39
All the time. It'd be so easy.
58:41
To turn her. And honestly, all these hot men,
58:43
like they're hot. Anyone could turn her though
58:47
your eyes just rolling. Into the back of your head.
58:51
If anyone gave her the time of day.
58:53
Anyone anytime give him an extra couple of days he.
58:57
Exactly which for the plot? The plot when you're 19.
59:01
I totally get it. If you were a high fan you could
59:04
fuck. What are they?
59:04
Going to do What are they? What?
59:05
Are they going to do like you've got to start your whore era?
59:08
You just. Never got a chance.
59:10
You never got a chance. And you just became immortal.
59:13
You've got that many decades of like rooting energy, girl.
59:17
You've got potentially a couple centuries of rooting before.
59:20
Finding a except pollution is to add on.
59:23
He's old as far. Like why are you trying to get
59:26
mated so soon? Like calm.
59:28
Down. Relax.
59:29
Stop trying to get. Around he's already waited this
59:32
long. Oh.
59:32
My. God he will wait around.
59:34
I hate that in books. I don't mind it.
59:38
I hate it because why also a girl always just lock in
59:40
immediately instead of I have no living your life.
59:44
I suppose she could live her life more with Reso.
59:47
What do you mean? Like, she kind of gets to do
59:49
whatever she wants. No, I know, but like, live your
59:52
sex life. You don't even know who you
59:54
like. You only just.
59:55
Loki realized Tamlan is a big fat fake.
59:58
Yeah, and then he was your last sexual.
1:00:00
She there was like 1 bit where she was like, I just realized
1:00:03
that Tamlan was doing nothing OK, she got the hottest 1 and
1:00:08
she's getting railed every day. I feel like Tamlin's A2 pump
1:00:12
chomp. Yeah, Missionario.
1:00:13
Roll over after. No eye contact, no eye contact,
1:00:17
nothing. He's on his phone.
1:00:19
Oh. No like.
1:00:21
Straight away there's porn actually in the background.
1:00:26
On the bisectual he's like. Staring at it.
1:00:29
He's staring at the Dick. Not staring at the day.
1:00:34
When we say bisexual porn, we mean like more male, male, yeah,
1:00:39
yeah, male, male, female. But it's male, male, female.
1:00:42
Maybe just there? Yeah, like she's kind of not the
1:00:44
feature. No.
1:00:45
No, no, she's just around. She's just there titties out to.
1:00:48
Pretend that it's straight enough.
1:00:54
Titties. Out.
1:00:55
Gay stance and all. She's in the cut chair.
1:00:59
If you know gay tits out. She's like full.
1:01:05
Arch gay stance and if you have no idea what I mean, what she
1:01:08
did rivals. Yeah, I haven't watched that
1:01:11
yet. Oh, shit, that's funny.
1:01:13
I don't know. Where.
1:01:15
Where are we at? He's eating the soup.
1:01:17
He's eating the soup. We've jumped a lot, but it's
1:01:20
fine. Look.
1:01:21
I don't know, saw a blur. But then OK, take let's take the
1:01:25
same logic. She doesn't know if Reece is
1:01:28
lying his whole entire asshole out.
1:01:31
He could be talented. Yeah, but he's not aggressive to
1:01:34
her. I think that's the difference
1:01:36
like. Oh.
1:01:37
Can we talk about the sisters? Yeah, because there's a mess
1:01:40
around. She visits the sisters.
1:01:42
Yeah, of course, the dad's away doing.
1:01:44
Bullshit. He's not a bronc.
1:01:47
What is he good for? Literally disappointing every
1:01:50
book. And then so obviously the
1:01:52
sisters are like, Oh my God, we thought you were dead.
1:01:55
You know, like, oh damn. And then they.
1:01:58
See that she's a fae? Yeah, and they're like.
1:02:01
Oh, oh, very much foreshadowing for the ending.
1:02:05
It's very obvious. Yeah, same with the Queens.
1:02:07
The Queens were fucking weird. I think they die.
1:02:10
And they were just used as little props to prove that the
1:02:14
Queens wouldn't die. Yes.
1:02:16
If they tried to turn them into Faye.
1:02:18
Where? Which I'm like, that's
1:02:20
convenient that her sisters just get turned into Faye.
1:02:23
Yeah. But also.
1:02:25
Dad back at home. Just not a clue.
1:02:27
Not a clue, not a clue. Just like I'm just like, I'm
1:02:30
making them money. He's trying to sell his little
1:02:32
Potteries at the fucking farmers market.
1:02:35
He's like, where did my daughter's go, by the way?
1:02:37
He's back to being a merchant. Now, Oh, is he?
1:02:39
Yeah. Because Tamlin paid for Tamlin's
1:02:42
trying to take the time to pay for her estate.
1:02:47
She's now he's giving away her shit and he's like, it's
1:02:50
actually to pay your parent like your dad and your sisters.
1:02:52
Is it still that the mortal world doesn't know anything
1:02:55
about the bad stuff that's going on?
1:02:57
Yeah, OK, so whatever Dad's living his best life is.
1:03:00
Dad's living less. Mouths to feed, I guess.
1:03:02
I think also because that when I was looking up for a quote for
1:03:06
the book, she did actually speak so much about them to I Anthe.
1:03:10
So it was I Anthe that was like we can try it on them.
1:03:13
That bitch. That fucking?
1:03:15
Bitch. I anthe was giving not a girl's
1:03:18
goal she gets. Worse in the second book, she's
1:03:20
like a rapist in the third. In the third book, yeah.
1:03:23
Honestly, calm down. Calm down, go home.
1:03:28
But also, why do you blab so much to Anthony Drew in the 1st
1:03:32
place? Drew, you know what?
1:03:33
Feyra doesn't have any girlfriends for reason, no.
1:03:35
And it's very. Clear why, right?
1:03:37
After they do the whole fucking soup debacle fuck every way
1:03:41
sideways she they get attacked, they give the Queen's look at
1:03:46
Valaris and then they drop the golden queen in the middle of
1:03:50
nowhere and then they full attack the village like no
1:03:52
tomorrow. This girl, this is the only time
1:03:56
I I usually hate in books where somewhere out of nowhere they
1:04:01
become like top dog. Somehow out of nowhere they're
1:04:04
bossing everyone around, they've learnt how to fight, they've all
1:04:07
of this. The only time it's never hurt me
1:04:11
is this book, because they slowly do it over time.
1:04:15
She's training. Yeah.
1:04:17
So when they're fighting, she's defending the rainbow.
1:04:21
She's got her swords out. She's got all her water animals
1:04:24
out. Doesn't seem unrealistic that
1:04:26
she's done it because it makes sense.
1:04:29
And then we go to high burns where she's blasting out light
1:04:33
like no tomorrow and breaking curses and.
1:04:36
Just. Casually, just casually.
1:04:38
But at least they somehow tried to.
1:04:40
She's tried to get there like it wasn't just a jump out of
1:04:43
nowhere. Lucian just has a bit of
1:04:47
perception. Compared to everyone.
1:04:48
Else does Tamlin eat it up? He's like, you want me?
1:04:51
Tamlin would eat it up though, he's so desperate.
1:04:56
It was giving so fake. Imagine pretending you like
1:04:58
Tamlin at the end. But there was a bit where it
1:05:02
seemed like Reese was confused about the plan.
1:05:05
Yeah, he was like, Nora, don't break the bond because I thought
1:05:09
she could dead ass break the bond.
1:05:11
I think he thought that he would break the actual mating bond.
1:05:14
Yeah, because when they go back, Amron's like, don't worry, it's
1:05:16
not broken. But she was really breaking the
1:05:19
fucking, no winnowing, whatever the fuck, so that they could go
1:05:23
get out, essentially. Yeah, yeah.
1:05:26
That's when winnowing was every second word.
1:05:28
And I was like, yeah. And they were literally like, I
1:05:31
know. Like the spot.
1:05:32
So in my mind, because my mind doesn't play things out visually
1:05:36
enough unless I put a lot of effort in, I was like, OK, we
1:05:39
know it in, we know it out. Like it doesn't, yeah, play out.
1:05:42
And I'm kind of just like. Get Me Out of here the.
1:05:45
Frustrating thing is, I feel like we're back.
1:05:48
Yeah, fucking start we are. This is such a.
1:05:50
Doughnut. Book.
1:05:51
But you know what? We're back at the start.
1:05:54
The next book is essentially her tearing apart the inside, so at
1:05:57
least she's not a literate girl. I think there's more reason to
1:06:00
hate Tamlin by the end of it too.
1:06:03
Any last words? No, I probably got them all out.
1:06:07
I was talking about fucking Bindi court and Pussy palace for
1:06:11
like 20 whole minutes. I'm glad because I was really
1:06:16
worried no one's going to have anything.
1:06:18
Unique to say about this book anyway, no.
1:06:20
So if it's not going to be us, then who's it going to be
1:06:23
exactly? What should we rate this book
1:06:25
out of Pussy Palace Pussy palaces out of 5I?
1:06:31
Only have 4 but I like it. Yeah, you.
1:06:35
Like it I. Gave it a three compared to
1:06:37
Acata which I gave a four. Valent, Valent Just.
1:06:40
Because like, I feel like this didn't have like it.
1:06:45
I had so much going on there. Is it?
1:06:47
Fair to say it was predictable, but you know what?
1:06:49
It's not this book's fault. It's all the other derivatives
1:06:52
that I've read. In the meantime, I.
1:06:53
Think so, because I think if you've read all of these ones,
1:06:57
you wouldn't. If I read these first, mind
1:06:59
blown. Reese's COG.
1:07:01
Yeah, yeah. So it's almost like I can't be
1:07:04
mad, but it was giving 4th wing like in every way.
1:07:07
But fourth wing was after, obviously, yeah.
1:07:08
Ten years after. Yeah.
1:07:10
So for me, I was kind of like, oh, it's not changing anything
1:07:13
too much from Acatar, whereas Acatar I felt a bit was more
1:07:17
like immersive. Yes.
1:07:20
Whereas this is like please give me more settings because I'm
1:07:22
stupid. I hate the trauma dumping family
1:07:25
bullshit. Yeah.
1:07:26
I don't want to hear about it. Play it out.
1:07:30
Don't take me back in the past and show me of something.
1:07:33
I think they. Were kind of were though,
1:07:35
because they were vomiting all the time.
1:07:39
Everyone was vomiting everywhere all the time.
1:07:41
Reese was vomiting everywhere all the time.
1:07:43
Favour was vomiting. 10 was vomiting.
1:07:46
So what? I gave it a rating.
1:07:47
Yeah, you gave it a rating. I did 4 and you did 3.
1:07:51
North. Pussy Palestine, yeah.
1:07:53
What's the third one called? A.
1:07:56
Court of Bindis and CrossFit. Because there's ACA.
1:07:59
War ACA What? ACA?
1:08:01
War. ACA What?
1:08:02
There's six books, so there's a Court of Wings and Ruin, that's
1:08:07
ACA War, and then they've got a novella, A Court of Frost and
1:08:10
Starlight. It's essentially Christmas.
1:08:12
New. And then Nestor's book.
1:08:14
Not the Christmas edition. So I was wrong.
1:08:16
I added an extra book. What would you call your court?
1:08:20
The one that you actually want, not the one we hate.
1:08:22
No, I don't know. I just know I feel like my
1:08:26
court. Picture this artsy, whimsy.
1:08:30
Cafes everywhere, safe. No men.
1:08:33
Men out of town, women in town, men out of town.
1:08:37
Just we do whatever. All paid.
1:08:41
Yeah. Pay for.
1:08:42
All inclusive. All inclusive.
1:08:44
All. Of all inclusive.
1:08:46
Or even better yet, everyone's included in one space and you
1:08:50
can all go there as much as you please.
1:08:53
But there also is a section for only women, so if they're done,
1:08:58
they can just. Develop.
1:08:59
You are like only women. Only.
1:09:04
Like a little safe haven, but it's better.
1:09:06
Only yeah, What's in there? Whatever we want.
1:09:11
Crafty, crafty. Like if you want to go sit.
1:09:14
There's a yoga room, there's a craft circle, whatever,
1:09:18
whatever. Shopping.
1:09:22
I love that. Yeah, a court of inclusive
1:09:25
feminine craft. What the?
1:09:29
Fuck does that turn into a court of?
1:09:32
Inclusive I. If.
1:09:35
If. Craft.
1:09:37
If a quarter of. What about yours?
1:09:44
I feel like this is going to be more dialogue a diabolical.
1:09:48
OK, so imagine this. OK.
1:09:51
A court, yeah, but it's not a court.
1:09:54
It's just the Infinity of space. And it's just a vacuum where you
1:09:58
can't hear anything, see anything.
1:10:01
No, you can see anything, but it's nothing.
1:10:03
So it's just. Black.
1:10:04
So you want a sensory pit? No, but in a bad way.
1:10:07
Flow bath and you'll you've got this internal never ending sense
1:10:10
of panic. So it's just like you've been
1:10:13
shot into space. There's stars, but they're so
1:10:15
far away there's nothing you can do and you're just there forever
1:10:18
and you don't die like. A big float bath nightmares Gary
1:10:25
anxiety. So mines like nice and you're
1:10:28
like, you're like. Specifically said.
1:10:30
Safe. And I said unsafe.
1:10:32
I said fucking bitches. I said vacuum torture.
1:10:39
Like you got. Shot.
1:10:40
Into it. And no one can hear you scream,
1:10:43
because no one. Thought mine was mine was bad.
1:10:46
I thought the way you were like oh we're secluding people and I
1:10:50
was like OK, I'm fine. And you're like, I actually want
1:10:53
to torture. In a way, like I feel like you
1:10:55
would like it after a while. So like we'll call.
1:10:58
It like a. Court of Nothingness.
1:11:01
A court of nothingness, 1/4 knot.
1:11:09
A quart of nothingness. Abysmal, Just abysmal.
1:11:13
An abysmal court of nothingness. No air as well, Just vacuum.
1:11:20
Death. Death preserved.
1:11:21
Not even death preserved. You'd want death.
1:11:24
Because of what? Why would I like that after
1:11:27
time, right? No.
1:11:28
You'd get used to it. You'd get comfy.
1:11:31
Girl, I'd rather the hit in the frogs take.
1:11:35
Me back to CrossFit. I'll do.
1:11:37
I'll get. I'll get over the frogs and
1:11:39
CrossFit. It's fine.
1:11:40
See. Now you like CrossFit and
1:11:44
circling back and now we like. CrossFit.
1:11:47
How dare. You force me to participate in
1:11:50
CrossFit, a court? Of dissociation and nothingness.
1:11:57
That's it. OK.
1:11:59
You're like. How do I leave your home?
1:12:02
You're like, how do? I Are you plotting?
1:12:04
Are you plotting my murder again?
1:12:07
Again. There was one time you said to
1:12:10
me at the gym years ago, ohk OK and I remember it so vividly.
1:12:16
Because it was probably traumatising, we were on the.
1:12:19
Stairmaster together and you were telling me how you and your
1:12:23
partner used to watch crime shows and you worked out how you
1:12:27
could kill me. You, yes me, are.
1:12:29
You sure it was you? Yes.
1:12:31
Why would it be you? I don't know why out.
1:12:33
Of all the people. In my life.
1:12:35
I think you. Were your logic?
1:12:36
I can't remember the logic but I feel like it was.
1:12:39
She's my best friend. I would never kill her.
1:12:41
And that's why you were killed. The intrusive thoughts together,
1:12:44
yeah, that makes more sense, but also it's.
1:12:46
A. Really funny, Every time I
1:12:47
remember I'm like, she really. Served me down, we still tell
1:12:51
you. Out loud, apparently.
1:12:52
I was already traumatized on the Stairmaster and that's
1:12:55
definitely. True.
1:12:56
And now, circling back, you like the Stairmaster?
1:12:58
Yes, It's like you wanted me to. You've definitely.
1:13:06
Grown since you'd hope so. Oh, shit.
1:13:12
OK, that's it. That's enough.
1:13:14
We I don't know what we're drinking, but take me.
1:13:16
Home take. Let you leave.
1:13:18
I feel like you were scared that you're going to go to the door
1:13:21
and it's locked. Us posting here.
1:13:24
After the corn girl last night, I.
1:13:26
Never know. Oh.
1:13:27
Shit, so that's a court of mist and fury, trauma dumping,
1:13:31
training montages, feelings and extremely poor coping
1:13:36
mechanisms. Don't forget to send this
1:13:39
episode to a friend if they would absolutely lick recent
1:13:43
sensitive wing skin. You didn't.
1:13:45
I did the veins 20 years salty. Thanks for joining us on Lose
1:13:53
the Plot with Carla and Emily. Don't forget to rate US five
1:13:55
stars and subscribe if you enjoyed slide into our DMS on
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