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5 | Gastonomics · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_06: Not a step.
• 0:03
  Matt: Thank you for coming.
• 0:04
  Matt: Um so but we didn't talk about this.
• 0:08
  Matt: How are you feeling?
• 0:09
  Eric: I feel so good.
• 0:12
  Eric: I I it was it was a little touch and go there.
• 0:16
  Matt: I was worried about you.
• 0:17
  Eric: Oh.
• 0:19
  Eric: I was worried about me.
• 0:20
  Matt: I bet you were.
• 0:21
  Eric: Yeah, we bet you were.
• 0:23
  Eric: Had that had that little COVID scare at the office.
• 0:26
  Eric: And uh had to had to Okay, here's the wild part.
• 0:30
  Matt: It sounds like you've had multiple COVID scares.
• 0:33
  Eric: Oh, they're ongoing.
• 0:35
  Eric: They're they're constantly happening now.
• 0:37
  Eric: Um I I I went and did one of the the like same-day appointment tests for COVID, and it didn't occur to me until I was in the drive-thru that I had to administer the test on myself.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 0:53
  Eric: Which I was which I was not mentally or emotionally prepared for.
• 0:57
  Eric: As I'm I'm in my pajamas, in my Jeep, like pulled up to the CVS, and and I don't know what I was expecting if if if I wasn't gonna be doing it myself.
• 1:09
  Eric: Like I don't know what I thought they were gonna do.
• 1:11
  Eric: Like, I was just gonna lean my head out of the out of the window, like, hello, please.
• 1:16
  Matt: I thought they reached in through the window and like jabbed it up there.
• 1:21
  Eric: And that's kind of what I was imagining.
• 1:22
  Eric: Nope, they fought lady behind the like, here's your kit.
• 1:26
  Eric: And they're and she held up this little cardboard like cutout that showed with pictures what I would be doing to myself.
• 1:34
  Eric: And I'm my hand was shaking as I'm like holding the swab like, be brave, Eric.
• 1:40
  Eric: Courage is not the absence of fear.
• 1:43
  Eric: Jammed that shit into my brain cavity.
• 1:48
  Eric: It sucks.
• 1:49
  Matt: Yeah, I'd be worried about doing it right.
• 1:52
  Eric: I guess they weighed the wrist, they're like, nah, probably can't, you know, scramble your brain if you do this.
• 1:58
  Eric: Poke a hole in this brain.
• 2:00
  Eric: Uh.
• 2:01
  Eric: And and on her little cardboard cad said, the swab we give you will have like a little guard on it, like a little flared piece that'll stop it from going too far into your brain.
• 2:09
  Eric: Nothing on the swab they handed me.
• 2:11
  Eric: I know.
• 2:11
  Eric: So I just had to like, I'm like, alright, that feels like an inch.
• 2:16
  Eric: Let me just twirl this around for 15 seconds.
• 2:21
  Eric: My eyes are watering, there's snot coming out of my other nostril.
• 2:25
  Matt: Okay, I want to know your opinion.
• 2:28
  Matt: I have heard that it's not painful, it's just very deeply uncomfortable.
• 2:36
  Matt: Correct.
• 2:37
  Eric: It doesn't physically hurt.
• 2:39
  Eric: I'm not going ouch, ouch, ouch the entire time, but in my head, I'm screaming anything but this.
• 2:46
  Eric: Yeah.
• 2:47
  Eric: It is so thoroughly unpleasant.
• 2:50
  Eric: And you're very happy once it's done, but it doesn't hurt.
• 2:54
  Eric: I'm trying to think of something that like it compares to.
• 2:59
  Eric: It's it's like when you have an eyelash stuck in your eye and you can't stop blinking.
• 3:05
  Eric: Like, it's not causing me agony, but I don't want it to happen anymore.
• 3:12
  Matt: Yeah.
• 3:12
  Matt: Recently I had a hair in the back of my throat.
• 3:16
  Matt: Exactly.
• 3:16
  Matt: It was there for like two days.
• 3:19
  Matt: Oh! I I couldn't do anything about it.
• 3:21
  Matt: It was annoying.
• 3:22
  Matt: I at one point I swallowed like a giant chunk of peanut butter just to try to like some ruffage.
• 3:29
  Matt: Just to try to soak it up.
• 3:31
  Eric: Gargled with crushed ice and nothing worked.
• 3:35
  Eric: Yeah.
• 3:35
  Eric: I I after after my test, I just I thought back on, you know, pioneers on the Oregon Trail.
• 3:48
  Eric: Six-month-long ship journeys where people didn't even know they were gonna live to see the shores of this great land.
• 3:55
  Eric: And there I am in the parking lot of CVS crying and dry heaving after I stuck a swab in my nose.
• 4:02
  Matt: I feel like you could maybe you disagree, but I feel like my existential drama that happens in my brain has elevated tenfold in quarantine.
• 4:18
  Matt: Yes.
• 4:19
  Matt: Uh like I feel like, and especially since I've read some I've read like some historical books.
• 4:26
  Matt: Uh like I read that Dahmer Party.
• 4:30
  Matt: Uh oh.
• 4:32
  Matt: I said Dahmer.
• 4:34
  Matt: That was a Freudian slip if ever there was one.
• 4:37
  Matt: The Dahner Party is the book that I read.
• 4:41
  Eric: Um, how how wildly different would that book have been?
• 4:48
  Matt: I mean, if you want to get into it, actually, wildly different.
• 4:52
  Matt: Um he did that for pleasure.
• 4:56
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:57
  Eric: Yeah.
• 4:59
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 5:00
  Matt: Although that also is arguable.
• 5:02
  Matt: Okay, in fairness to Jeffrey Dahmer.
• 5:05
  Matt: With apologies to Jeffrey Dahmer, he sentences I thought I'd never say.
• 5:12
  Eric: But I'm imagining that situation, though.
• 5:14
  Eric: So it's the Dahmer part the Dahmer party, the Dahmer party.
• 5:18
  Eric: Dahmer.
• 5:19
  Eric: The Dahmer party.
• 5:21
  Eric: Well, no.
• 5:21
  Eric: What I'm getting at is if it was the Dahmer party.
• 5:25
  Matt: I thought you were just continuing.
• 5:27
  Matt: I thought this was a medi bumps again, where I just kept saying the wrong thing.
• 5:32
  Eric: But how hilarious would it have been to be around that fire and they're like, look, we're all eating people.
• 5:42
  Eric: But one of us is doing it for fun, and that's not cool.
• 5:49
  Matt: And that is why this is the worst escape room I have ever been a part of.
• 6:07
  Matt: Well, welcome back to You Didn't Ask for This.
• 6:10
  Matt: I'm Matt Shea.
• 6:12
  Eric: I'm Eric Poach.
• 6:13
  Matt: And we had a little bit of a break, but we are uh we're back.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_06: We're back, babies!
• 6:17
  Matt: And it's good to be back.
• 6:19
  Matt: I have to say, I had a blast with our new format last time around.
• 6:26
  Matt: We got some positive feedback.
• 6:27
  Eric: It requires less effort.
• 6:31
  Matt: I mean, I'm all about less effort.
• 6:35
  Matt: I I just want to be able to think this podcast.
• 6:38
  Matt: Yes.
• 6:39
  Eric: Imagine it, and it'll be so.
• 6:41
  Eric: This is becoming a TED talk.
• 6:44
  Eric: Is it?
• 6:44
  Eric: If you can think, you can record.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_06: And I want to talk about that.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_06: I want to talk about thinking and recording.
• 6:54
  Eric: And you can see like up on his PowerPoint.
• 6:57
  Eric: And there's like arrows and stuff between them.
• 7:00
  Matt: But first, let me tell you a story from when I was a child.
• 7:06
  Eric: Oh I mean, I remember when TED Talks first came out.
• 7:09
  Eric: They were so fucking cool.
• 7:11
  Matt: Yeah, now they're sort of just a joke.
• 7:14
  Matt: They're literally a tweet.
• 7:15
  Matt: They're a stock tweet now of thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
• 7:19
  Eric: Yep.
• 7:20
  Eric: And like anyone could get them.
• 7:22
  Eric: Now I will say I've I've had a couple friends, like my uh my my friend Sammy did one, and and their their their talk was incredible.
• 7:31
  Eric: Uh and which makes me feel so bad because there's so many shitty ones.
• 7:35
  Eric: He's like, yeah, they they've they they're up there competing with like goddamn flat earthers.
• 7:40
  Matt: Yeah, the first the I feel like the pioneers of the TED Talks, every single one was a banger.
• 7:47
  Eric: Oh my god, like the the last lecture and like stuff like that.
• 7:51
  Matt: Oh my god, I have that book.
• 7:53
  Matt: Andy Pouch.
• 7:54
  Eric: I need to re I need to rewatch it, so I I need a good cry.
• 7:58
  Matt: Yeah, that's a heartbreaker.
• 8:00
  Matt: Yeah.
• 8:00
  Matt: I don't know that that's what we need in this in this disease quarantine.
• 8:05
  Matt: I know.
• 8:05
  Eric: Oh, if I watch the last the last lecture right now, no, I'm just put that on the list.
• 8:11
  Eric: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Matt: Well, I'm glad we're starting this on such an uplifting note.
• 8:16
  unknown: Yeah.
• 8:17
  Matt: Yeah.
• 8:18
  Matt: Yeah.
• 8:18
  Matt: Should we uh should we just jump in, Eric?
• 8:21
  Matt: Since since the people have been chomping at the bit to get back to us.
• 8:25
  Eric: Matt, let me just let me just the sound you're hearing is me dipping my toe in the water.
• 8:30
  Eric: One second.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, the water's fine, Matthew.
• 8:36
  Matt: It always is.
• 8:37
  Matt: Yeah.
• 8:38
  Matt: It's nice and warm.
• 8:40
  Matt: I don't know.
• 8:40
  Matt: Let's not do water jokes now.
• 8:43
  Eric: Wait, so that's where we're drawing the line.
• 8:47
  Eric: All right.
• 8:48
  Eric: We got Jeffrey Dahlmer and the Donner Party Sever Dick jokes.
• 8:52
  Eric: We got Randy Powch jokes.
• 8:54
  Eric: Ooh, water jokes.
• 8:57
  Matt: Bridge too far.
• 8:58
  Matt: Too much.
• 8:59
  Matt: Too much.
• 9:00
  Matt: Well, Eric, let me ask you a question.
• 9:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 9:03
  Eric: You can hit me.
• 9:04
  Eric: Hit me, man.
• 9:04
  Matt: Because some some at some point we have to get this podcast started.
• 9:10
  Matt: What are the consequences of Gaston requiring five dozen eggs every morning?
• 9:17
  Matt: And that comes to us from Sue Leslie2 on Instagram.
• 9:22
  Eric: And the sound you just heard, which I'll silence on my end, was me knocking over a cup.
• 9:27
  Eric: Because I actually have to I have to Google something else one moment.
• 9:30
  Eric: And that is a very good question because it well at first I saw this question, I was like, there's there's we're there's some logistical issues here, but then I realized the logistical issues are worse.
• 9:44
  Eric: Uh because I'm gonna pull up the Gaston lyrics.
• 9:50
  Matt: Yeah, so let's get the exact uh because it because if I remember correctly, if memory serves, he started out only having two dozen eggs.
• 10:01
  Eric: So when he was a lad, he ate four dozen eggs.
• 10:06
  Matt: Yeah, Eric, just give it to us.
• 10:07
  Matt: Could you just give it to us?
• 10:09
  Matt: As Gaston.
• 10:10
  Eric: Uh when I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs.
• 10:14
  Eric: Oh god, I'm sorry.
• 10:15
  Eric: Reading the lyrics, these are someone else's fucked up lyrics.
• 10:18
  Eric: Um because in the lyrics I was about to recite are when I was an egg, I ate four dozen lads.
• 10:26
  Eric: Uh but when he was a lad, he ate four dozen eggs to help him grow uh healthy and large to help him get large.
• 10:36
  Matt: This would be a cannibalism uh-based episode.
• 10:42
  Eric: We're I I feel like we found our theme.
• 10:45
  Eric: For the podcast?
• 10:46
  Eric: Gaston was in the Donner Party.
• 10:48
  Eric: Oh man.
• 10:49
  Matt: Okay, so anyway, I interrupted you yet again.
• 10:52
  Matt: Hit us with the facts about Gaston.
• 10:54
  Eric: When he was a lad, four dozen eggs.
• 10:56
  Matt: Four dozen eggs.
• 10:58
  Eric: Now that he's grown, he eats five dozen eggs and he's roughly the size of a barge.
• 11:04
  Matt: Of a barge, yes.
• 11:05
  Matt: We everyone knows what he's roughly the size of now.
• 11:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 11:10
  Eric: So here's the other thing I Googled, Matt.
• 11:14
  Eric: Is how many chickens do you need to make a dozen eggs?
• 11:20
  Matt: Okay, that's a good and on what I hope your research has also yielded the frequency.
• 11:27
  Matt: Yes.
• 11:28
  Matt: Okay, so how many chickens do you need to get a dozen eggs?
• 11:31
  Eric: Alright.
• 11:32
  Matt: Uh I assume you mean in a day.
• 11:34
  Eric: In a day.
• 11:35
  Eric: In a day.
• 11:36
  Eric: How many chickens do you think you need to get to get a dozen eggs a day?
• 11:41
  Matt: I would say to feel safe, I would want 24 chickens to allow for every other chicken to be a fucking dud.
• 11:51
  Eric: Alright.
• 11:52
  Eric: So 13 to 15.
• 11:55
  Eric: On average, 13 to 15 chickens should be able to produce a dozen eggs a day for the best part of a year.
• 12:04
  Eric: Note for the best part of a year, because they have like egg laying seasons.
• 12:10
  Eric: So let's let's kind of break this down.
• 12:12
  Eric: That's 13 to 15 chickens for a single dozen.
• 12:17
  Matt: 13 to 15 for a single dozen.
• 12:20
  Eric: So they're going to need roughly uh oh god, no, it's it's even worth 75 chickens to make five dozen eggs a day.
• 12:32
  Eric: A day.
• 12:33
  Eric: Okay.
• 12:33
  Matt: In this small provincial town.
• 12:36
  Eric: In this provincial town, they need like 75 chickens laying eggs a day, every day.
• 12:45
  Matt: And the the the film could not be clearer that this is a small, poor, provincial town.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_06: Small little town.
• 12:55
  Matt: They gave a whole song to how the only active reader in the in the town is looked upon as a freak.
• 13:05
  Eric: Yes.
• 13:06
  Eric: Yes.
• 13:06
  Eric: And it which blows my mind because I'm looking for it.
• 13:09
  Matt: Which means none of them have time for books.
• 13:11
  Matt: No.
• 13:12
  Eric: They're they're all egg, they're all egg farmers.
• 13:14
  Matt: Because they all must be fucking egg farmers.
• 13:17
  Matt: For this one douchebag.
• 13:19
  Eric: Ooh, oh god, so much stuff is clicking for me right now.
• 13:22
  Eric: Because you know when the baker is like, Marie, where are the baguettes?
• 13:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 13:26
  Eric: Uh well, we don't have baguettes because we have no fucking eggs to make bread with.
• 13:32
  Matt: Oh wow.
• 13:32
  Matt: You so so the because the lyric that I think inspired Leslie's question, if I could extrapolate for her, is I need six eggs.
• 13:43
  Matt: That's too expensive.
• 13:45
  Matt: Now, why would six that's where the question comes in, right?
• 13:49
  Matt: Why would these six eggs be why how?
• 13:52
  Matt: In what economy is that too expensive?
• 13:55
  Eric: In an economy where there's artificial demand for with for for a for a commodity in the Gaston economy.
• 14:05
  Matt: So, okay, so realistically, I I I I don't know that we need to research this, but how many people do you think, would you imagine, is the population of this town?
• 14:16
  Matt: Does this town have a name?
• 14:18
  Matt: Fuck.
• 14:19
  Matt: I don't think it does.
• 14:20
  Matt: I'm gonna look it up.
• 14:21
  Eric: Fuck, yeah, look it up.
• 14:23
  Eric: And you know Disney thought of this.
• 14:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 14:26
  Eric: Do you here's here's one while you're looking this up.
• 14:28
  Eric: Do you know what Donald Duck's middle name is?
• 14:31
  Matt: Oh, I think I did at one point.
• 14:34
  Matt: But I don't off offhand.
• 14:36
  Eric: Fontleroy.
• 14:37
  Matt: Ah, Fontleroy.
• 14:40
  Eric: For those listening, my mom used to work for the Disney store.
• 14:43
  Eric: I have a wealth of Disney knowledge that I do not need.
• 14:49
  Matt: It just says in a nearby village.
• 14:51
  Eric: In a nearby village.
• 14:53
  Matt: It doesn't say Okay.
• 14:55
  Matt: Well, let's assume you're gonna cut that whole section.
• 14:58
  Eric: Actually, here we go.
• 14:59
  Matt: Actually, so it's a new Whoa, Robbie Benson is the beast?
• 15:07
  Eric: I looked up the French word for nearby, and it's plush.
• 15:12
  Matt: Okay, upon research on the uh the good old Wikipedia um which you should donate to, by the way.
• 15:21
  Matt: You should all donate to Wikipedia.
• 15:22
  Matt: Uh I did mine today.
• 15:23
  Matt: I donate every year.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_06: My man.
• 15:27
  Matt: Somebody has to.
• 15:28
  Matt: Anyway, the Wikipedia research has yielded that it is just listed as a nearby village to it says the actual this is what it says in the beginning.
• 15:41
  Matt: There's the the whole prologue scene, right?
• 15:45
  Matt: And then it says, some years later, in a nearby village, Belle, the book-loving daughter of an eccentric inventor named Maurice, dreams of adventure.
• 15:53
  Matt: That's their intro to Beauty and the Beast.
• 15:56
  Matt: So no name for this village as far as we know.
• 15:59
  Eric: And and I I think that's just to serve how small, unknown, out of the way, not necessarily poor.
• 16:08
  Eric: No one no one appears to be suffering, but everyone seems to be locked in this weird.
• 16:15
  Matt: Well, hold on.
• 16:16
  Matt: There's only one one estate nearby, and that's the Beast's house.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:24
  Matt: But here's what I will say.
• 16:26
  Matt: I don't think it seems it doesn't seem like a poor village for the era.
• 16:31
  Eric: It seems appropriate.
• 16:34
  Eric: It seems lower to middle to mid-class.
• 16:38
  Matt: Right, right, exactly.
• 16:39
  Matt: However, there does seem to be some suffering if people feel that six eggs are too expensive.
• 16:47
  Matt: And that is a result of Gaston and his goddamn Gastonomics.
• 16:52
  Eric: Gastonomics.
• 16:53
  Eric: And and I think it's also pretty clear that Gaston is one of, if not the wealthiest people in the village.
• 17:00
  Matt: Yeah, and that's another question.
• 17:02
  Matt: How?
• 17:03
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:04
  Eric: What does he do?
• 17:06
  Eric: So I know he's a hunter.
• 17:10
  Eric: And like his thing is hunting.
• 17:12
  Eric: I know he's like obsessed with getting trophies.
• 17:15
  Eric: Meat like selling meat.
• 17:17
  Eric: Yeah, because I know meat is if you have like, if you're a provincial village, you've got cows, you've got chickens, you can't butcher your cows for meat because they're giving you milk, you need that.
• 17:26
  Eric: Uh all of your eggs are going to Gaston.
• 17:30
  Eric: So like there's a protein.
• 17:32
  Eric: I feel like he's artificially created a need for his own services.
• 17:37
  Eric: Because he's like, I am the hunter.
• 17:39
  Eric: I hunt and sell you meat, and in exchange, you give me all of your eggs.
• 17:45
  Eric: And none of these, I'm gonna say it, sheeple understand that if they just grew eggs for themselves or shared the eggs with everyone instead of this asshole.
• 17:58
  Matt: Okay, so we're giving we're giving a lot of intelligence points to Gaston right now.
• 18:05
  Matt: Oh, I think well, okay.
• 18:08
  Matt: And you know what?
• 18:08
  Matt: I gotta say, you make a good case that he's just playing this small provincial town.
• 18:14
  Matt: Like a fucking fiddle.
• 18:16
  Eric: Like a fucking fiddle.
• 18:17
  Eric: I don't think he's I don't think this is something he sat down and dreamed up and planned.
• 18:23
  Matt: He's like, ah, yes, he sort of fell into it.
• 18:26
  Eric: He like by sh he's one of those guys where by sheer power of charisma, he just convinced everyone that this is what they wanted.
• 18:35
  Eric: And it just happened to benefit him the most.
• 18:38
  Matt: But here's the thing.
• 18:39
  Matt: He must come from a wealthy family if he was starting with four dozen eggs as a lad.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_06: He Oh, that's true.
• 18:48
  Matt: Because he wasn't bringing in the meat in the gastonomics as a as a young tyke.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_06: God.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, what if his what if his family owns all the chickens?
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, fuck me, man.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_06: What if his family owns all the chickens and they've just had their boy set up for life?
• 19:11
  Matt: Oh, okay.
• 19:12
  Matt: So we don't what we have now is we don't have a bunch of farmers farming chickens.
• 19:19
  Matt: The Gaston family has a monopoly on chickens and eggs.
• 19:26
  Eric: Yep.
• 19:27
  Matt: And eggs are pretty essential when you're making all your own food, as I would assume most families in this provincial town are doing.
• 19:36
  Eric: Your breads, your baguettes.
• 19:38
  Eric: Your baguettes?
• 19:39
  Matt: Marie!
• 19:40
  Eric: The baguettes! The baguettes, Marie.
• 19:43
  Eric: Also, don't yell at Marie, you piece of shit.
• 19:46
  Eric: You piece of shit.
• 19:47
  Matt: How about you make the baguettes, you motherfucker?
• 19:50
  Matt: You're the goddamn baker! Yeah! Goddamn, bake me a baguette, bitch! Bake me a baguette, baker.
• 19:57
  Matt: Is this not France?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_06: Are we not in France?
• 20:03
  Matt: I mean, it is a little confusing that none of you have French accent.
• 20:07
  Matt: It's kinda weird.
• 20:09
  Matt: The only one who has a French accent is the fucking candlestick.
• 20:14
  Matt: And the clock is English! Yeah.
• 20:18
  Eric: The fucking business puts! Played by our girl, Angela Lansberry.
• 20:24
  Eric: Our girl.
• 20:27
  Eric: Also English.
• 20:29
  Eric: Also English.
• 20:30
  Eric: Don't know what other accent.
• 20:32
  Eric: Actually, does Gaston have an accent?
• 20:35
  Matt: Douchebag.
• 20:36
  Eric: Yeah.
• 20:39
  Matt: What?
• 20:40
  Matt: Sorry, I'm in Gaston now.
• 20:43
  Matt: Which is to say I'm only utilizing half of my mouth.
• 20:47
  Matt: I'm keeping half of it closed as if I what I'm in the zoom window, it looks like I'm doing a Popeye impression.
• 20:55
  Eric: It does.
• 20:58
  Eric: It sounds you look like Popeye trying to do NPR.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you for uh tuning in.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_05: Got certain skippity guests with us today.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_05: That's all.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_05: Great Popeye.
• 21:21
  Eric: Uh yeah, no, Gaston's accent is like if Under Armour had it had a dialect.
• 21:27
  Matt: Oh man.
• 21:28
  Matt: Yeah, okay.
• 21:30
  Matt: Although I'm not gonna lie, I'm a big Under Armour person.
• 21:35
  Matt: Oh no, it's great.
• 21:36
  Matt: Not that I am necessarily the Under I don't think Under Armour wants to me to be saying that.
• 21:43
  Eric: Hey, Under Armour, if you want to sponsor us, we'll cut that last joke.
• 21:47
  Matt: Yeah, I don't think they want us to sponsor them.
• 21:51
  Matt: I mean, I don't think they want to sponsor us.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_06: Was it the drawer full of dick's joke?
• 21:56
  Matt: No, I think it's our individual physiques.
• 22:02
  Eric: No, oh Matt, we're we're the target demographic.
• 22:05
  Eric: Do you want to put on a shirt and feel jacked?
• 22:08
  Matt: Yeah, it does make you feel like a superhero.
• 22:11
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 22:12
  Matt: The first time I got cold gear, I was like, I am Captain America.
• 22:16
  Eric: Oh, yeah.
• 22:17
  Eric: I spent like the first time I put on an underarmor shirt.
• 22:19
  Eric: It was one of them tank tops, so I like I had like the shoulder going on and stuff.
• 22:23
  Eric: Like I could see my collarbones.
• 22:24
  Eric: Oh, I felt and mind you, this is also back when I had been doing martial arts for like five or six or seven years straight.
• 22:31
  Eric: So I was actually in good shape.
• 22:33
  Matt: If Gaston were to buy Under Armour, he would buy that tank top you're describing.
• 22:39
  Eric: Yeah.
• 22:39
  Eric: Gotta emphasize the arms.
• 22:42
  Matt: Okay.
• 22:43
  Matt: So in terms of actual consequences, um, we what we've determined.
• 22:48
  Eric: Egg-based economy.
• 22:50
  Matt: Like I feel like it is an egg-based economy.
• 22:52
  Eric: It's an egg-based economy.
• 22:53
  Eric: It's an egg republic.
• 22:56
  Matt: This and we've also established that this town, which is small enough to be unnamed.
• 23:03
  Eric: Small enough to be unnamed, yet big enough to have a library.
• 23:07
  Matt: Yet big enough to have a group of rioters.
• 23:12
  Eric: Big enough to be able to form a mob.
• 23:15
  Eric: I feel like that's what defines a provincial town.
• 23:19
  Eric: So yeah, there's a map.
• 23:21
  Eric: You can form a mob at at the drop of a hat because someone's yelling something in the town square.
• 23:27
  Eric: You are a provincial.
• 23:28
  Matt: You are a provincial town.
• 23:29
  Matt: Well, you can at least be a town and not just some couple of houses.
• 23:34
  Eric: Yeah, not like a hamlet.
• 23:35
  Matt: A hamlet isn't No, they don't have a mob.
• 23:38
  Eric: No.
• 23:39
  Matt: Hamlet never had a mob.
• 23:41
  Matt: No.
• 23:42
  Eric: Hamlet never had a mob.
• 23:43
  Matt: So the town, small enough to not warrant being named on a map, but large enough that there's a mob like amount of people.
• 23:54
  Matt: So I think there needs to be at least like 25 to 30 people in the mob alone.
• 24:01
  Eric: Yes?
• 24:02
  Eric: Yeah, oh yeah, yeah.
• 24:03
  Matt: And it seems like if memory serves from the film, there's more than that.
• 24:08
  Eric: Yeah.
• 24:09
  Eric: Once you I feel like once you can't count everyone who's there at a glance, like if you can't look over the crowd and go, alright, there's you know, Joe, Jack, oh, Bill.
• 24:19
  Eric: Okay.
• 24:19
  Eric: No, but once you've reached that point, you're like, oh, whoa, who are they?
• 24:23
  Eric: Once you start asking, like, where the fuck did they come from?
• 24:25
  Matt: You've got a mob.
• 24:27
  Matt: I'm looking at some stills from from the animated film.
• 24:31
  Eric: Okay.
• 24:31
  Matt: I'm not concerned as much with the remake, the live action, because everything's going to be very like.
• 24:38
  Eric: Oh, I saw the live action remake.
• 24:40
  Matt: Okay.
• 24:41
  Matt: So here's an image, and I'm counting one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
• 24:46
  Matt: Okay, looking at a still from the animated, I see like 15 shadows when Gaston's yelling at everybody.
• 24:53
  Eric: Okay.
• 24:54
  Matt: So I think it's safe to assume there's 20 to 25 people in the mob alone.
• 24:59
  Matt: Yeah.
• 25:00
  Matt: So let's assume there's at least 10 other people, spouses and such, that didn't feel like mobbing that night.
• 25:08
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:08
  Eric: And yeah, it was big enough mob that it but like they lost the castle fight really hard.
• 25:14
  Eric: They got hard.
• 25:15
  Eric: They got like suplexed by dressers, they got cooked alive by ovens.
• 25:20
  Eric: Like the town didn't collapse upon upon this crushing defeat.
• 25:27
  Matt: And did they ever address that?
• 25:29
  Matt: The the castle was able to home alone its way.
• 25:32
  Eric: People had to die in that fight.
• 25:33
  Eric: There's no way Gaston was the only one.
• 25:36
  Eric: They had to die in that fight.
• 25:38
  Eric: Absolutely.
• 25:39
  Matt: They suffered casualties.
• 25:41
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:42
  Matt: So what well let's this is pre-Gaston not being there.
• 25:48
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:49
  Matt: The consequences, I think.
• 25:50
  Matt: So what we what we've figured out is that there's roughly I'm gonna say 40 people in this town.
• 25:58
  Eric: And I'm guessing they all have to own chickens or work for the Gaston family chicken chicken co-op in some way.
• 26:06
  Matt: Well, so if the Gaston family is cornering all of the chickens, I would say basically they are in fact the local overlord because everybody's paying out the ass for eggs to the Gastons.
• 26:25
  Eric: Yep.
• 26:26
  Eric: Which makes bread a luxury item.
• 26:29
  Matt: Which makes bread a luxury item.
• 26:32
  Matt: Which is why Marie can't get she can't make these baguettes fast enough.
• 26:38
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:39
  Eric: Yeah.
• 26:40
  Eric: And the and the baker looked pretty well off, too, I will say.
• 26:44
  Eric: His baking shop looked pretty baller.
• 26:46
  Matt: Do you think he's a member of the Gaston family?
• 26:48
  Eric: I I don't think he's a member of the Gaston family, because I think that that that would look too I but I think he's he's he's in he's in on the grift.
• 26:56
  Matt: He's like a brother-in-law, maybe?
• 26:57
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:59
  Eric: He he he he knows he knows who's baking his baguettes.
• 27:04
  Matt: Oh man, and that's all you can ask in this world is to have someone baking your baguettes.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_05: But of my baguette.
• 27:12
  Matt: What?
• 27:12
  Matt: What?
• 27:14
  Matt: Okay, so I think I mean without getting into the t too in the weeds here, I think the main outcome, the main consequence from Gaston requiring, quote unquote, five dozen eggs every m every morning is that the town is living in perpetual service of the chick of chickens, yep, and by extension, Gaston's family.
• 27:43
  Matt: Yeah.
• 27:43
  Matt: Is that fair?
• 27:44
  Matt: Is that a fair summary of our findings?
• 27:45
  Eric: I I think absolutely so.
• 27:47
  Eric: I I I think that's good.
• 27:48
  Eric: Also, just another another feather in the cap of the Gaston's family pretty much owns this town theory.
• 27:54
  Eric: If you go to Disney World in the provincial town village they have there, or you can go to like Gaston's hunting hall, they like in the town square, they have a statue of Gaston.
• 28:07
  Matt: Do they?
• 28:08
  Matt: See, I have the privilege of going to Disney World.
• 28:11
  unknown: Yeah.
• 28:12
  Matt: So you're telling me in what we are to understand is the replica of the unnamed provincial.
• 28:20
  Eric: And this this has got to be considered canon.
• 28:22
  Eric: It's Disney World.
• 28:23
  Matt: It's Disney World.
• 28:24
  Matt: In the in the actual remake, uh life-size remake, there is a central statue, a central tribute to Gaston.
• 28:37
  Eric: Yes, and if I remember correctly, like there's a plaque like that explains that this statue was a was like made for Gaston by the town in recognition of his greatness or some shit.
• 28:50
  Eric: Okay, hold on.
• 28:51
  Eric: That just screams mommy and daddy's money.
• 28:54
  Matt: I've just googled the the statue since I haven't had the privilege.
• 28:59
  Matt: It definitely looks like something that somebody would make for themselves.
• 29:04
  Matt: Yes.
• 29:05
  Matt: Which just goes to show that the Gaston family, if not Gaston himself, is essentially the self-appointed mayor and overlord of this small provincial town.
• 29:17
  Eric: Yeah.
• 29:18
  Eric: Every everyone b uh man.
• 29:21
  Eric: Gaston basically has Stockholm syndrome to this entire town.
• 29:25
  Eric: Like the Gaston family.
• 29:27
  Eric: They they they have no problem with how anything's run, because this is just like all they know.
• 29:32
  Eric: Yeah.
• 29:33
  Eric: Ugh.
• 29:35
  Eric: God.
• 29:35
  Eric: They also apparently have all the guns.
• 29:38
  Matt: They also have all they must.
• 29:40
  Matt: Really, this whole town.
• 29:41
  Matt: What I think we've learned is that this whole town, all operations, all daily life, is to serve Gaston.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_06: Which makes me wonder why there's a library.
• 29:53
  Eric: Is it a library or bookshop?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_06: It's a library.
• 29:56
  Matt: I think it's a bookshop.
• 29:57
  Matt: Bookshop.
• 29:57
  Matt: Because she is it tax write-offs?
• 30:01
  Eric: It was a library, it could be tax write-offs.
• 30:03
  Matt: I don't think I don't think they've gotten that far.
• 30:06
  Eric: Alright.
• 30:07
  Eric: I'm gonna write a dissertation on gastronomics.
• 30:10
  Matt: I th somebody needs to.
• 30:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 30:12
  Matt: Um, well, thank you for the question, Sue Leslie.
• 30:16
  Matt: I believe we have um over-answered it as usual.
• 30:19
  Matt: Eric, what's our what's next on tap?
• 30:21
  Matt: So, Matthew, I got a question for you.
• 30:25
  Eric: Hit me.
• 30:27
  Eric: What happens when the booty has rocked everywhere?
• 30:33
  Eric: That's from LT Ridley on Instagram.
• 30:37
  Matt: Well, I believe uh uh this isn't an original question from L T Ridley.
• 30:41
  Matt: I believe Plato asked this question originally.
• 30:45
  Matt: I thought I'd get a little bit of a chuckle off of that.
• 30:48
  Eric: No, it took my it it actually wasn't, it was one of those things where you said Platoh.
• 30:53
  Eric: I thought you said play-doh.
• 30:55
  Matt: Oh, I you know, Tom's like Plato.
• 30:57
  Eric: What does Plato have to do?
• 30:58
  Eric: I was like, oh, Plato.
• 30:59
  Eric: I was like, oh, that's a good joke, but by then it had been too long.
• 31:01
  Eric: I was like, oh, yeah.
• 31:02
  Matt: Yeah, way too long, and I'm glad we took the time to expound on it.
• 31:06
  Matt: Um, so ignoring my bad joke, it's not from Plato, it's from the philosopher Bubba Sparks, I believe, is what we're referencing.
• 31:17
  Eric: Yes.
• 31:18
  Eric: So what now, first off, I think they're they're two they're two we met on our question-ask answering journey on our on our quest for thirst for knowledge.
• 31:30
  Eric: Yes.
• 31:30
  Eric: We are at a fork in the road.
• 31:33
  Eric: Okay.
• 31:33
  Eric: When we say the booty rocking everywhere, do we mean metaphorically or literally?
• 31:44
  Matt: It's a tough call because I think if it's literal, the we then this means not just at the players' club where we are introduced to the booty.
• 31:55
  Matt: That is Yeah, for about a month or two.
• 31:57
  Matt: For about a month or two.
• 31:59
  Matt: It's not just there.
• 32:01
  Matt: This implies that this booty needs to go on tour and rock in other players' clubs, as well as just the street.
• 32:10
  Eric: Yeah, and the woods.
• 32:11
  Eric: And and this doesn't feel like a singular booty that is rocking everywhere, though, right?
• 32:16
  Matt: Oh, I disagree with that.
• 32:18
  Matt: The name of the song is Miss New Booty.
• 32:21
  Eric: That is true.
• 32:22
  Matt: We are talking about a very specific booty.
• 32:25
  Eric: Very specific booty.
• 32:26
  Matt: And I want you to know I have a very personal attachment to the song, Eric.
• 32:30
  Matt: Uh, I don't know if you remember this, but when we were both in university, one one drunken night, uh, a bunch of us were hanging out, and Bobby Harris, the famous, the Baltimore legend that is, Bob Harris, at about like 2 a.m.
• 32:52
  Matt: decided he was going to make a cover of Miss New Booty.
• 32:56
  Eric: I I distinctly remember this happening.
• 32:59
  Matt: Yes, it because it was many parties after that he was forced to to relive this cover.
• 33:07
  Eric: And I was at that party.
• 33:08
  Eric: But I was not there for the for the you know the and the the apotheosis.
• 33:15
  Matt: Yes, you were not there for the recording because we record I had the foresight to record an MP3 of this remarkable cover version of Miss New Booty, which I have been sitting on for literally a decade, and I I think we should decide right now.
• 33:33
  Matt: I'm happy to play a selection of this drunken nonsense at the end of this episode.
• 33:38
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 33:39
  Matt: That's gonna be our fade out music.
• 33:41
  Matt: Sold.
• 33:41
  Matt: Sold.
• 33:42
  Eric: Dear listeners, if you want to change your goddamn lives.
• 33:47
  Matt: You listen to this whole episode.
• 33:48
  Eric: Stay with us.
• 33:49
  Eric: You listen to this whole episode.
• 33:50
  Matt: But that's neither here nor there.
• 33:52
  Matt: That's a tangent.
• 33:53
  Matt: We need to get back to the pressure.
• 33:54
  Matt: You know what is both here and where it's rocking.
• 33:57
  Eric: Yes.
• 33:58
  Eric: I didn't mean to cut you off.
• 34:00
  Eric: But I was just gonna say, you know what is both here and there is Ms.
• 34:04
  Eric: New Booty.
• 34:05
  Eric: Yes.
• 34:06
  Matt: Well done.
• 34:07
  Matt: It's everywhere.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 34:09
  Matt: It's here, it's there, it's everywhere.
• 34:11
  Matt: Perhaps that is what the Beatles were referencing in that song.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_03: Mmm.
• 34:16
  Eric: So were they prophets?
• 34:18
  Matt: Let's not go down that road.
• 34:20
  Eric: Oh man, yeah, they were they heralds of Bubba Sparks.
• 34:24
  Matt: Okay, so yes.
• 34:25
  Matt: The the the we know now that the legend that is this booty, it it's without age.
• 34:33
  Matt: Yes, it is beyond time as we know it.
• 34:35
  Matt: It's beyond time.
• 34:37
  Matt: It has and it's I think it's beyond time because it is in its endless quest to rock everywhere.
• 34:45
  Eric: And is Bubba saying is that booty isn't everywhere, but you can find booty anywhere.
• 34:59
  Matt: I think what and I think what just I think why he has named uh this individual Miss New Booty is because it's a new arrival to the players' club for about a month or two.
• 35:12
  Eric: For about a month or two.
• 35:13
  Matt: And so he was previously unfamiliar with this particular booty.
• 35:18
  Matt: Yeah.
• 35:18
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 35:19
  Eric: Yeah, this is.
• 35:20
  Matt: I think this supports my theory that Miss New Booty is going across the nation and the world on it uh on their quest to make sure they have rocked everywhere they possibly can.
• 35:36
  Matt: And I mean from from caves and forests of the Amazon.
• 35:41
  Matt: Oh, so she's to to the players club wherever it is that the players club is.
• 35:45
  Eric: So, Matt, are we dealing with like a Johnny Booty Seed kind of situation?
• 35:48
  Matt: I think we're dealing with a Johnny Booty seed.
• 35:50
  Eric: She's going across this beautiful land to leave her legacy behind.
• 35:55
  Eric: To leave it to bring it full time.
• 35:57
  Matt: Her legacy, bring it on back.
• 36:00
  Matt: Reel it on back in it.
• 36:02
  Matt: She is shaking her legacy across the globe.
• 36:06
  Matt: For about a month or two at a time.
• 36:08
  Eric: For about a month or two.
• 36:09
  Eric: Uh and we and we even if we go further into the readings, we found we find that Bubba, he kind of he there's a maybe not regret, maybe regret's a long word, but I'll I'll just read the the psalm.
• 36:21
  Eric: I found you, Miss New Booty.
• 36:24
  Eric: Get it together and bring it back to me.
• 36:27
  Eric: When earlier he said, and I quote, girl, I don't need you, but you need me, and he kind of comes this full circle, and like he didn't he didn't understand what he had when he had it.
• 36:39
  Eric: But now that he's but now that Miss New Booty's gone, he realizes that she didn't need him.
• 36:45
  Matt: Yeah, I think this whole song is a remembrance of Miss New Booty.
• 36:51
  Matt: It is a it is a plea for her to return to the Players Club for about another month or two.
• 36:58
  Eric: About a month or two.
• 37:00
  Matt: Most of these lyrics are very self-assured, overconfident.
• 37:04
  Matt: Yeah.
• 37:05
  Matt: And I think he hasn't truly learned his lesson.
• 37:08
  Matt: I but, you know, he he thinks he is deserving of Miss New Booty.
• 37:13
  Eric: He thinks he's entitled to Miss New York.
• 37:14
  Matt: He is entitled to Miss New Booty, which we of course know he is not.
• 37:20
  Eric: Not even a little bit.
• 37:21
  Eric: No one's entitled to Miss New Booty.
• 37:24
  Matt: And that is why she moved on from the players' club after about a month or two.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_06: About a month or two.
• 37:30
  Matt: But and so I think though, Bubba references her legend in the lyrics when he says, and I quote, and I don't tell stories, I let them tell them self.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:44
  Matt: He knows that he's dealing with a legend.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 37:48
  Matt: And that she has moved on to rock in greener pastures.
• 37:54
  Matt: Probably literally, she hasn't hit the pastures yet.
• 37:57
  Eric: He thought she was a page in his book, but he realized he was a book in her anthology.
• 38:04
  Matt: He was just one of many players that got rocked.
• 38:10
  unknown: God damn.
• 38:11
  Matt: Now, all of this has been an interesting um analysis of the song, but it does not answer the question.
• 38:18
  Eric: So the question becomes what happens when her legend is finished?
• 38:24
  Matt: When her final chapter closes.
• 38:28
  Eric: And this is this is where we're I feel like we're gonna start getting into the metaphysical.
• 38:33
  Matt: I think when she has finished a rockin', yeah, I think why would the c I think the club business would fall fall apart.
• 38:42
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 38:43
  Matt: I mean, without the hope of a return of Miss New Booty, what are they there for?
• 38:49
  Eric: I I mean I and I don't and now I feel like we're going down the whole booty-based economics, bootinomics.
• 38:54
  Eric: Bootinomics.
• 38:55
  Eric: Honest to God, I I am in my head, I'm equating the booty having rocked everywhere with the entropic heat death of the universe.
• 39:06
  Eric: Okay.
• 39:08
  Eric: Explain.
• 39:10
  Eric: Once the booty has rocked everywhere, that means it has physically existed everywhere.
• 39:16
  Eric: Or that everywhere no longer exists for the booty to rock.
• 39:22
  Matt: Oh.
• 39:24
  Matt: Yeah.
• 39:25
  Matt: Yeah.
• 39:26
  Matt: So you're saying that if if the if the booty's journey is endless, that it will always be a rockin' in individual locations for about a month or two.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_06: For about a month or two.
• 39:38
  Matt: We are to assume the only way her story ends is if the page it's being written on, this planet Earth, is destroyed.
• 39:48
  Eric: Yes.
• 39:50
  Eric: Ah and I think that's a testament to the spirit of Miss New Booty.
• 39:56
  Eric: Yes.
• 39:56
  Eric: Nothing will stop this booty from rocking save for the death of reality, Matthew.
• 40:03
  Matt: The destruction of the planet is the only thing that can stop this ageless sage that is Miss New Booty.
• 40:11
  Matt: You're goddamn right.
• 40:13
  Matt: Wow.
• 40:14
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:15
  Matt: Well, I gotta say, I did not realize how what I before we took it apart, opened it up, and brought out the seeds.
• 40:25
  Matt: I didn't realize what sweet nectar hidden inside the lyrics of Ms.
• 40:32
  Matt: Booty.
• 40:33
  Eric: Yeah.
• 40:34
  Eric: Oh, bless whoever sent us this question.
• 40:36
  Eric: It was L T Ridley.
• 40:38
  Matt: Lt Ridley, yes.
• 40:39
  Eric: Bless you, L T Ridley.
• 40:40
  Matt: Great question.
• 40:42
  Matt: Thank you for it.
• 40:43
  Matt: Okay, one more question for the day, Eric.
• 40:46
  Matt: This one comes from uh a very loyal listener, Alex Kafarakis on Instagram.
• 40:51
  Matt: Kukka click.
• 40:52
  Matt: There it is.
• 40:53
  Matt: He asks, what will be on Antiques Roadshow 100 years from now?
• 41:00
  Eric: I love this question.
• 41:01
  Matt: I love this question.
• 41:02
  Eric: So let's talk about the kind of so let's talk about the kind of stuff you see.
• 41:06
  Eric: We'll we'll kind of like work our way backwards on this question.
• 41:09
  Matt: What we see on Antiques Roadshow?
• 41:11
  Eric: Yeah, like right now, if I were to turn on Antiques Roadshow, the kind of stuff I would see, like the mix of stuff.
• 41:17
  Matt: And then there's more obscure stuff.
• 41:19
  Matt: They need they there's always something that requires an expert that makes you go, where did this person come from?
• 41:25
  Matt: Like somebody who's like, well, if you look at the veneer on this boudoir, the I love the way you just said boudoir.
• 41:37
  Matt: And which I've studied for the last 37 years.
• 41:42
  Matt: So but they're all like artifacts from I mean, obviously, and I feel like an antique just by itself is an artifact from a a bygone age.
• 41:54
  Matt: Yeah.
• 41:54
  Matt: You know, something that is truly antiquated.
• 41:57
  Matt: You know, something that's current the of current use isn't going to be there.
• 42:02
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:02
  Eric: It's it's something that you unless you collect antiques, you will never have a use for in your daily life.
• 42:08
  Eric: It is it is an obsolete piece of technology.
• 42:11
  Matt: With with the exception of the art that shows.
• 42:15
  Eric: Yes, of like art or like, you know, really fancy teacups or something like stuff like that, but nothing, you know, they're necessities from a bygone age.
• 42:24
  Matt: Exactly.
• 42:25
  Matt: It's a it's a it's a mix of furniture that you don't really see anymore.
• 42:29
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:30
  Matt: Art, historical artifacts, and like toys that uh that are long since gone.
• 42:39
  Matt: If you if we are to go into the future and look back, I think there's gonna be a lot of antiquated technology that shows up.
• 42:49
  Matt: Like, for example, uh something even simple, like a calculator.
• 42:53
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:53
  Matt: Standalone calculator.
• 42:55
  Eric: I feel like, yeah, I feel like iPhones and shit or like Androids, that'll be the thing where it's like, oh no, we've got entire landfills of these.
• 43:03
  Eric: Like they're never gonna go with it.
• 43:05
  Matt: Right now, if somebody brought you like an old-timey receiver, uh like two-part receiver phone, I don't know what they're called.
• 43:13
  Matt: You know what I'm saying?
• 43:13
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, I know exactly.
• 43:14
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 43:15
  Matt: Where you have to hold it up like a breaking news bulletin.
• 43:18
  Eric: Yeah.
• 43:18
  Matt: I'm down here at the track, say, you know, that kind of phone.
• 43:23
  Matt: Those are on Antiques Troadron.
• 43:25
  Matt: Now, so the current iPhone's definitely gonna be there.
• 43:27
  Matt: And people are gonna be like, you know, there's gonna be some expert who's like, now actually, Americans used to do all of their banking and computing needs right here on this little rectangle.
• 43:40
  Matt: That was before it was implanted in our brains.
• 43:43
  Eric: In our fucking iris.
• 43:45
  Matt: Yeah.
• 43:46
  Matt: That's before we could it before one blink shopping.
• 43:49
  unknown: Yeah.
• 43:50
  Eric: Yeah.
• 43:56
  Eric: You have to use your hands.
• 43:58
  Matt: It's like a baby.
• 44:00
  Matt: And you know the actor who says that.
• 44:03
  Matt: Who?
• 44:03
  Matt: Making their film debut.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_06: Who is that?
• 44:07
  Matt: Elijah Wood.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_06: Are you fucking kidding me?
• 44:10
  Matt: Kidding you.
• 44:11
  Matt: Specifically, he is the kid who says it's like a baby's toy, if memory serves.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_06: Phenomenal.
• 44:17
  Matt: Yes.
• 44:18
  Matt: Yes.
• 44:18
  Matt: And when you go back, listener and Eric and look at that scene, there is no doubt in my mind, you will be like, sure enough, that's a babe Elijah Wood.
• 44:30
  Eric: You got that baby blues.
• 44:32
  Eric: He got that matte blue eyes.
• 44:34
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 44:36
  Eric: So, so yeah, I think there's gonna be there's gonna be categories of technology 100 years from now on Antique Shortshow.
• 44:42
  Eric: There's gonna be the stuff that we have landfills full of.
• 44:46
  Eric: I feel like the real money stuff is gonna be like an OG Game Boy still in its packaging, will be worth a small uh like not, you know, m whatever our currency is a hundred years from now.
• 45:01
  Matt: Um and and all and any um any cartridge-based game.
• 45:07
  Matt: Yes.
• 45:08
  Matt: Any cartridge-based game.
• 45:10
  Matt: Yes.
• 45:10
  Matt: Or even disc-based game for that matter.
• 45:13
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 45:13
  Eric: Oh man, floppy discs, if they're still functional, like a like a functional Apple II computer will will put your kid through college.
• 45:20
  Matt: I mean, I was thinking CD, like CD-ROM disc or Blu-ray-based.
• 45:25
  Eric: Oh yeah, it's gonna be it's gonna be nuts.
• 45:26
  Eric: There are gonna be all these categories of formats.
• 45:29
  Eric: Because like the idea of a format.
• 45:31
  Matt: It's gonna go all the way back to the OG DOS games we played in computer class.
• 45:38
  Matt: Yes.
• 45:39
  Matt: Oregon Trail.
• 45:40
  Matt: Yeah, 100%.
• 45:42
  Eric: Got to.
• 45:43
  Eric: Uh and oh man, and and then like the stuff that we would probably see on Antiques Roadshow now, like um uh oh like people bring in encyclopedias, right?
• 45:55
  Matt: Yeah.
• 45:55
  Matt: Like, you know, like a whole Encyclopedia Britannica from 1901, you know.
• 46:01
  Matt: They have those collections.
• 46:03
  Matt: I feel like because encyclopedias are already a little bit antiquated for today's age, what we're gonna have is somebody bringing in a whole collection of dummies books.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_06: Oh my god, yes.
• 46:19
  Matt: Yes, because like series books also are big, like Nancy Drews, like original Nancy Drews.
• 46:26
  Matt: I can see that showing up on Antiques Road Show.
• 46:28
  Eric: Yep.
• 46:29
  Matt: But let's talk about it.
• 46:32
  Eric: A first edition set of Harry Potter.
• 46:35
  Eric: Yes.
• 46:35
  Eric: I mean, all fuck JK Rowlings aside, fuck JK Rowling, but uh a first edition set of Harry Potter 100 years from now will be invaluable.
• 46:46
  Eric: That might be museum tier.
• 46:49
  Matt: Um, I think like uh Funko Pops, my beloved Funko Pops.
• 46:54
  Matt: Oh man.
• 46:55
  Eric: Yeah, I think it'll depend it, it'll kind of be like the beanie baby thing.
• 46:59
  Eric: It'll depend on which ones you have.
• 47:01
  Matt: It'll depend on which ones you have.
• 47:03
  Matt: Because I was having this discussion with someone recently, because they were like, ooh, beanie babies, we thought those would be worth money, and they weren't.
• 47:10
  Matt: But there are some.
• 47:12
  Matt: Like the Princess Diana Bear Beanie Baby is the most sought after.
• 47:19
  Matt: Really?
• 47:20
  Matt: Yes, it is it is worth thousands.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_06: Oh my god.
• 47:25
  Matt: With its tag and shit, of course.
• 47:27
  Eric: Matt, I wanna I and I know we were discussing this before we read where we started the episode.
• 47:31
  Eric: So you, and this is something I think will be on Antiques Roadshow if the game still exists.
• 47:37
  Eric: Um but I want to talk about like wild prices for stuff you can get now.
• 47:42
  Eric: Um Magic the Gathering.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 47:45
  Eric: Nerd card game.
• 47:46
  Eric: Love to play it.
• 47:48
  Eric: One of the most valuable cards in the game from the very early, early, earliest set of the game, came out like almost 30 years ago now, if not more.
• 47:58
  Eric: It's a card called Black Lotus.
• 48:00
  Eric: It is a piece of cardboard that you use to play this game.
• 48:03
  Eric: How much do you think you would you would pay for a Black Lotus card in mint condition?
• 48:09
  Matt: Uh I I I don't know.
• 48:12
  Matt: Uh couple hundred for the card.
• 48:15
  Eric: Uh let me look up the most current price.
• 48:17
  Eric: You think a couple hundred dollars?
• 48:19
  Matt: Yeah, I I'm gonna say like six hundred dollars.
• 48:22
  Eric: Okay.
• 48:22
  Eric: Six hundred dollars.
• 48:23
  Eric: And that's the one.
• 48:23
  Matt: The way you're building it up.
• 48:25
  Matt: The way you're building it up, I'm gonna say six hundred dollars.
• 48:27
  Eric: Okay.
• 48:28
  Eric: What do you think would be an outrageous price?
• 48:31
  Eric: Six thousand dollars.
• 48:33
  Eric: There we go.
• 48:33
  Eric: There it is.
• 48:34
  Eric: Uh for an original mint condition black lotus, one sold for$166,000.
• 48:42
  Eric: What?
• 48:42
  Eric: For a piece of cardboard.
• 48:45
  Eric: $166,000.
• 48:47
  Eric: $166,000.
• 48:50
  Eric: Uh yeah, usually this this is a thing where articles will pop up about this every like once a year or so about the the the craziest Black Lotus purchase.
• 48:59
  Eric: They're typically between$50,000 and$100,000.
• 49:02
  Matt: How many are there in existence?
• 49:05
  Eric: Oh, I have no idea, but not a lot.
• 49:07
  Eric: It's never it's because the card's never been reprinted.
• 49:11
  Eric: And uh, and uh yeah, it it was an insanely powerful card that that was like almost a guaranteed win if you slapped it down.
• 49:20
  Matt: Yeah, but you'd never play with it.
• 49:21
  Eric: Oh, yeah, no.
• 49:22
  Eric: And and that's and we'll hear stories about people like who have packs of magic cards in their attic, crack one open and find a black lotus.
• 49:31
  Eric: And congratulations, that's your kid's college tuition.
• 49:34
  Matt: Jeez Louise.
• 49:36
  Matt: Yeah, I should have been into magic.
• 49:38
  Eric: Yeah.
• 49:38
  Eric: So that's why I all that to say, uh, not only magic, um, but dude, a holographic Charizard a hundred years from now in mid condition will probably go for hundreds of thousands of dollars.
• 49:52
  Matt: What kind of furniture do you think?
• 49:54
  Eric: That is such a good question.
• 49:56
  Eric: I feel like I don't think it'll be worth anything, but I feel like a lot of people are gonna bring in IKEA furniture thinking it might be worth something.
• 50:03
  Eric: They're like, oh yes, this has been in our family for so long.
• 50:06
  Eric: This is an heirloom.
• 50:07
  Eric: And they're like, this is IKEA.
• 50:09
  Eric: This is a hemnes.
• 50:10
  Eric: This is a hemnes.
• 50:12
  Eric: Oh, that's the fugan, and uh you that's worthless.
• 50:15
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, I don't think anyone would be foolish enough to bring in a lack, but oh no.
• 50:20
  Matt: They'd bring in they'd bring in the fancier end of IKEA.
• 50:25
  Matt: Yeah.
• 50:26
  Matt: Thinking they have a real piece of furniture.
• 50:30
  Eric: Now, here's the wild question, actually.
• 50:32
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 50:33
  Eric: So we consider IKEA to be worthless now, but there are a lot of things on Antiques Roadshow that people from their day were like, oh yeah, this is just this is just what we're doing.
• 50:42
  Matt: I want to I want to stop you right there as someone who's near only furniture is from IKEA.
• 50:48
  Eric: Yeah, I love IKEA.
• 50:50
  Eric: I have it, my bed is IKEA, my nightstand is Ikea.
• 50:52
  Eric: I love Ikea.
• 50:53
  Matt: This very desk that I'm recording this podcast on is IKEA.
• 50:57
  Eric: But you wouldn't consider it like an ERIP, like an ERIP place to be.
• 51:00
  Matt: I don't know if you have any delusions that it is good furniture.
• 51:04
  Eric: But what if like a hundred years from now we're 3D printing all of the furniture on demand at home or like we've got fucking replicators or some shit?
• 51:14
  Eric: So if someone has an unopened IKEA furniture kit from a time when you literally had to build your own furniture with your hands and like put stuff together and fit it like that, uh, or go to a store to buy it, like it might actually be super valuable.
• 51:30
  Matt: It might be if if it's so if we've gone way beyond the idea that somebody bought furniture that you would then put together.
• 51:40
  Eric: Yeah.
• 51:40
  Eric: I was just gonna say, I don't think we'll have like full-on Star Trek replicators in a hundred years, but I do think 3D printing will get to the point where it makes most like do-it-yourself kits trivial.
• 51:52
  Eric: Yeah.
• 51:53
  Eric: What do we think what do we think is gonna be the thing someone brings in thinking it's gonna be worth absolutely nothing and it turns out to be like insanely rare and valuable.
• 52:07
  Eric: Honestly?
• 52:09
  Eric: What?
• 52:11
  Eric: Collection of McDonald's toys.
• 52:14
  Eric: Full sets of McDonald's toys, like the full set of the Inspector Gadget McDonald's toys when the Matthew Broderick.
• 52:22
  Matt: Or the uh those collectible like gold-plated Pokemon cards.
• 52:26
  Eric: Which I have some, they are in terrible condition.
• 52:31
  Eric: Those those will absolutely be the thing.
• 52:33
  Eric: If someone produces a mint condition gold-plated Charizard card from Burger King a hundred years from now, like not even opened, that will fetch a pretty penny.
• 52:44
  Matt: I think all kind of toys like that, like um, like Furbies.
• 52:49
  Eric: Stuff that was only available for a very short amount of time, relatively speaking, and like were collectible.
• 52:57
  Eric: Furbies, definitely.
• 52:59
  Eric: Again, depends on the Furby.
• 53:01
  Eric: There will be ones that are like we have a million of these.
• 53:03
  Matt: I think ultimately what's gonna the you know what I think the answer is?
• 53:08
  Matt: What's gonna end up there are the things that we take for granted today.
• 53:12
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:12
  Eric: That's kind of where I was going with IKEA.
• 53:14
  Eric: I take IKEA for granted.
• 53:16
  Eric: I love IKEA.
• 53:17
  Matt: Most people do.
• 53:18
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:18
  Matt: But ultimately, IKEA is going to be the lasting legacy.
• 53:25
  Matt: You see what I did there?
• 53:26
  Matt: Love it.
• 53:27
  Matt: I brought us on home.
• 53:29
  Matt: God damn.
• 53:30
  Matt: Boom.
• 53:31
  Matt: Um I think, you know, I think once again, I think that I think three might be our magic number that we get to.
• 53:39
  Matt: Of course, we really dug in to dug in deep.
• 53:43
  Matt: We dug in deep to gastronomics.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_06: We dug with your tattoos.
• 53:47
  Matt: Um, but I do think we should uh we should wrap things up with a new segment.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_06: New segment.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_06: New segment.
• 53:56
  Eric: I had to like change the octave halfway through, just so you didn't know how new it is.
• 54:01
  Matt: Yeah.
• 54:01
  Matt: What was it again?
• 54:03
  Matt: New segment.
• 54:06
  Matt: Nice.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 54:08
  Matt: You can't keep going high though.
• 54:10
  Matt: The you're gonna run out of range.
• 54:12
  Matt: New segment.
• 54:14
  Matt: The new segment in question.
• 54:17
  Matt: We're gonna take a we're gonna put a pause on weird news for this week.
• 54:21
  Matt: But this is tangential to weird news.
• 54:24
  Matt: I feel.
• 54:25
  Matt: It's a neighbor.
• 54:26
  Matt: We are going to introduce a new segment we are calling local legends.
• 54:31
  Matt: And what we and we are gonna start truly with some local legends to Maryland, where we are based.
• 54:37
  Matt: Yes.
• 54:37
  Matt: Uh, but we would love your local legends, your monsters, your ghost stories, your you know, your lore, your local lore.
• 54:46
  Matt: Give it to us, and we're gonna report it to you again.
• 54:51
  Eric: Yeah.
• 54:52
  Eric: And yeah, we don't want your Bigfoots, we don't want your chupacapras.
• 54:56
  Eric: No.
• 54:56
  Eric: We want something that no one outside of your tri-state area has heard of.
• 55:01
  Matt: Exactly.
• 55:02
  Matt: Because even though you know about it, ultimately, we want it to fall in the category of something somebody else didn't ask for.
• 55:13
  Matt: Full circle.
• 55:14
  Matt: Full circle, that's the name of the show.
• 55:16
  Matt: Shall we begin?
• 55:17
  Matt: Um, Eric, I would like to uh would you want to go first?
• 55:22
  Eric: You should absolutely go first.
• 55:24
  Matt: Okay, so this uh this one, I would like to talk about for our first local legend, I would like to discuss the goat man of Maryland.
• 55:33
  Eric: Which quick side note hit me.
• 55:37
  Eric: Fun fact before you and I uh, or rather during our our our birthing of this podcast, Matthew, I was approached by another dear friend of mine, my friend Kelsey, who asked me if I wanted to work on a podcast with her with her, where we would uh it would be like a a it would be a podcast centering entirely around the goat man.
• 56:02
  Eric: And now on this podcast that I'm recording, we are talking about the goat man.
• 56:06
  Eric: I have not yet made any fruition come to be with my goat man podcast with Kelsey, but I do want to say she's currently writing it.
• 56:14
  Eric: It's gonna be like a fiction podcast, and it's going to kick so much ass when it comes out.
• 56:20
  Eric: I'm gonna tell you all about it because Kelsey is an amazing writer and she is passionate about the goat man.
• 56:26
  Matt: Oh, please do.
• 56:27
  Matt: We that that's got cross promotion opportunity all over it.
• 56:32
  Matt: Oh, yeah.
• 56:33
  Eric: Um talk to me about the goat man.
• 56:37
  Matt: The goatman of Maryland, also known as the PG County Goatman or the Goatman of Prince George's County, or simply the goatman.
• 56:45
  Eric: And just a quick note for anyone who doesn't live in Maryland, i ain't nothing PG about that county.
• 56:54
  Matt: No, very good disclaimer.
• 56:56
  Matt: Okay, so the goatman is a satyr-like axe-wielding murderous creature that, according to legend, lives in Beltsville, Maryland.
• 57:05
  Matt: Now, there are multiple theories to his origins, but the most famous and by far the funniest, in my opinion, is that a scientist at the Beltsville Agricultural Research Center was turned into the goat man after a horrific experiment.
• 57:24
  Matt: The theory is so prominent, in fact, that the uh B-A-R-C The Bark uh has had to publicly refute the existence of both this experiment and the goat man several times.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_06: Several times.
• 57:41
  Matt: The goat man, of course, like many a local axe-wielding legend, is is known to terrorize Lover's lanes, as well as, I regret to inform you, decapitate dogs.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_03: Boo.
• 57:54
  Matt: Because boo.
• 57:56
  Matt: Boo on you, goat man.
• 57:58
  Matt: Because of his alleged preference for teenage victims, some say his uh he his origin story is that of a farmer out of out for revenge after teenagers killed his goats, somehow morphed into this goat man.
• 58:16
  Matt: Now, according to Barry Pearson, Dr.
• 58:19
  Matt: Barry Pearson, a folklorist at the University of Maryland, which, by the way, Eric, is home to a goat man archive.
• 58:26
  Matt: Of course it is.
• 58:27
  Matt: At the University of Maryland, yes.
• 58:30
  Matt: Stories of the goatman gained steam in the 50s and the 60s, but they didn't appear in print until 1971, when a dog in Bowie, Maryland met its demise.
• 58:42
  Matt: The incident was covered in the Washington Post, where the reporter by the name of Ivan Goldberg wrote, and I quote, Ginger, a sprightly mongrel who resembled a German shepherd, has been decapitated cleanly at the neck.
• 58:58
  Matt: The body is not found.
• 59:00
  Matt: Now Goldman's story suggested that perhaps the dog had been hit by a train, its its head had been separated from its body, and launched into the air because only the head was found.
• 59:12
  Matt: Only the head?
• 59:13
  Matt: Only the only only the head.
• 59:15
  Matt: But locals quoted in the story fingered the marauding goat man.
• 59:22
  Matt: And that is a vet Beltsville is right around the corner from where I am recording this podcast.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 59:30
  Matt: So I very well could have run into the goat man already and not known it.
• 59:35
  Eric: Oh, was it was this like your your the the uh the local legend where like you were the teenager in a car making out making out with with you know your wife and uh hold on, I'm getting there.
• 59:50
  Eric: And uh, you know, it's like oh local goat man on the loose.
• 59:53
  Eric: You're like, did I hear something?
• 59:54
  Eric: No, baby, it's nothing.
• 59:56
  Eric: Give me another smooch.
• 59:57
  Eric: And then you can't.
• 59:57
  Eric: Wait, did I do both those voices?
• 59:59
  Eric: Yes.
• 59:59
  Eric: And you get home, you get home, and your wife's like, Where the fuck were you?
• 1:00:04
  Eric: And then she comes out and it's just you and your car by yourself the entire time.
• 1:00:09
  Eric: And then you get home and there's a goat horn stuck in the side of your car.
• 1:00:13
  Eric: You were so close to getting.
• 1:00:15
  Matt: Well, so he does attack like the sides of cars, too.
• 1:00:18
  Matt: There's a lot of reports of just, oh, he axed the side of my car.
• 1:00:24
  Matt: Did the goat man.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_06: I wonder why the goat man has an why an axe.
• 1:00:29
  Eric: I know I get like decapitation, but like I feel like if you're a supernatural goat man, I feel like you got more options available to you than an axe.
• 1:00:38
  Matt: I do.
• 1:00:38
  Matt: But that's you know, that is your brief on the goat man.
• 1:00:42
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:00:42
  Matt: Uh, I want to cite a couple of sources there.
• 1:00:44
  Matt: I did pull information from a Washingtonian article, The Goat Man, or his story at least, still haunts Prince George's County.
• 1:00:53
  Matt: Uh I consulted Cryptid Wiki.
• 1:00:56
  Eric: Very good.
• 1:00:58
  Matt: And uh, of course, the the the straight to the source, Wikipedia.
• 1:01:03
  Matt: Go ahead and donate to Wikipedia.
• 1:01:05
  Matt: Uh Eric, that's my local legend for the day.
• 1:01:08
  Matt: What do you have for us?
• 1:01:09
  Eric: So, Matt, I'm I'm I'm approaching this from a different vector.
• 1:01:13
  Eric: All right.
• 1:01:14
  Eric: Because what I have for you is a story.
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 1:01:18
  Eric: Um you will not love a tale.
• 1:01:20
  Eric: You will not find articles on this in any publication outside.
• 1:01:27
  Matt: Are you making up a legend?
• 1:01:28
  Eric: I'm not making up a legend.
• 1:01:30
  Eric: I made up a legend.
• 1:01:34
  Eric: I'm gonna rewind this back to the the year was 2006.
• 1:01:39
  Eric: My god.
• 1:01:41
  Eric: So me and my friends uh it was me, Dallas, Brad, and Joey, and we decided that our friend Wingo was to become a local piece of lore.
• 1:01:57
  Eric: Our friend Wingo, for lack of a better term, is batshit crazy.
• 1:02:05
  Eric: Great guy, but batshit insane.
• 1:02:09
  Eric: Uh he is a he's a man of walking contradictions, great intelligence, but like zero concern for any human being, except he except he wants everyone to be okay all the time.
• 1:02:26
  Eric: Like he is wild.
• 1:02:29
  Eric: Um Wingo had a propensity for standing on his porch at the dead of night and getting into screaming matches with his neighbors or anyone who was like fucking around with like cars or anything on the street he lived on.
• 1:02:50
  Eric: He lived on New Jersey Avenue right down the street from my high school.
• 1:02:54
  Eric: But at some point, Wingo, who just enjoyed yelling things for the sake of yelling them to piss off people who were pissing him off, just started pig squealing at the top of his lungs at like 2 a.m.
• 1:03:09
  Eric: while standing shirtless on his back porch.
• 1:03:13
  Eric: Thus was born the legend of the pig man of Jersey Avenue.
• 1:03:19
  Eric: And what we decided to do was we, in our creative writing class, which was also part of our school newspaper, wrote an entire article, including many eyewitness accounts of the pigman of Jersey Avenue who on f who on moonlit nights could be healed who could be heard doing his death squeal at the moon.
• 1:03:47
  Eric: And we published the shit out of it in our high school newspaper, and then every party we went to for like a year and a half, we would purposely be air quotes overheard telling someone a story about how we saw the pigman of Jersey Avenue and heard his squeal.
• 1:04:05
  Matt: And I think you shot yourself in the foot when you specifically made it about one street in particular.
• 1:04:14
  Eric: Oh no, the pigman of Jersey Avenue.
• 1:04:16
  Eric: You got it.
• 1:04:17
  Eric: We we went hardcore local.
• 1:04:19
  Eric: Where you only care if you live in Glen Burney, Maryland.
• 1:04:22
  Matt: No, I think that's fine because I would consider Stoop Kid, that would be a great example of a local legend.
• 1:04:28
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:04:29
  Matt: And those are the things that I kind of want people to send on into us.
• 1:04:33
  Matt: Don't you agree?
• 1:04:34
  Eric: Oh, I absolutely agree.
• 1:04:35
  Matt: I want to learn about your local lore.
• 1:04:39
  Eric: Yes.
• 1:04:39
  Matt: And I want to be able to have the two of us share that with the rest of the world.
• 1:04:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:04:45
  Eric: Our absolutely.
• 1:04:47
  Eric: I believe my our end goal with specifying the pig man of Jersey Avenue is we wanted people to go to Jersey Avenue so Wingo had more people to yell at.
• 1:04:56
  Matt: Of course.
• 1:04:57
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:04:58
  Matt: Well, um, I I hopefully, even though you just outed the origins of this tale, I applaud you for creating a monster.
• 1:05:08
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 1:05:09
  Eric: Thank you.
• 1:05:10
  Eric: Thank you.
• 1:05:10
  Eric: We convinced some people.
• 1:05:12
  Matt: I applaud you for this effort.
• 1:05:13
  Matt: I think you've done a you know what it could be, Eric?
• 1:05:16
  Matt: This could very well be your legacy.
• 1:05:20
  Eric: Oh, God help me.
• 1:05:24
  Matt: And with that, I think we are at the end of time by far for uh this episode of You Didn't Ask for This.
• 1:05:34
  Matt: As always, please share with us your questions.
• 1:05:39
  Matt: Definitely send in questions, especially if you haven't sent in a question before.
• 1:05:42
  Matt: We want to hear from you.
• 1:05:44
  Matt: Please.
• 1:05:45
  Matt: Uh what else do we want?
• 1:05:46
  Matt: We want taglines.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_06: Want taglines?
• 1:05:49
  Matt: Local legends.
• 1:05:50
  Matt: Local legends.
• 1:05:51
  Matt: Local legends.
• 1:05:53
  Matt: Versus battles, unlikely fights.
• 1:05:55
  Matt: Uh we'll bring that back at some point.
• 1:05:58
  Matt: Uh weird news, of course.
• 1:06:00
  Eric: Anything that you think no one asks for, but everyone needs to hear.
• 1:06:04
  Eric: Exactly.
• 1:06:05
  Matt: Now you've got it, Eric.
• 1:06:07
  Matt: That's exactly what we want.
• 1:06:08
  Matt: Send us shit no one asks for.
• 1:06:12
  Matt: Especially us.
• 1:06:14
  Eric: Surprise us.
• 1:06:14
  Eric: Oh yeah, please.
• 1:06:16
  Matt: And you can do so at udnaskforthis at gmail.com or on Instagram at the letter U didn't ask pod.
• 1:06:24
  Matt: Uh on both Instagram and Twitter, you at Didn't Ask Pod.
• 1:06:28
  Matt: Um, and of course you didn't ask for this.com.
• 1:06:31
  Matt: And finally, if you've been enjoying the show, go ahead and drop us a review there in the Apple Podcasts or wherever you're enjoying this podcast.
• 1:06:40
  Matt: With some stars, though.
• 1:06:41
  Matt: Don't be dropping us a starless review.
• 1:06:44
  Eric: Please don't.
• 1:06:45
  Matt: I didn't ask for that.
• 1:06:46
  Eric: Pigman gonna come for you.
• 1:06:48
  Matt: The Pigman gonna c The Pigman.
• 1:06:51
  Matt: The Pig Man of Jersey Avenue is gonna come after you if you leave us some shitty starless review.
• 1:07:00
  SPEAKER_06: Wait, wait, wait, I'm gonna do that.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_06: Wait, what's the one?
• 1:07:02
  Matt: What?
• 1:07:08
  Matt: I don't know how but they found me.
• 1:07:12
  Matt: Alright, we're we're losing control of ourselves.
• 1:07:15
  Matt: With that, my name's Matt Jay.
• 1:07:18
  Matt: My name's Eric Hoach.
• 1:07:19
  Matt: And this is the soothing sound of Bob Harris and company.
• 1:07:24
  Matt: I'm one of these background vocals.
• 1:07:26
  Matt: That's something you can uh listen out for.
• 1:07:29
  Matt: But here's Bob Harris to play us out.
• 1:07:33
  Matt: Take it away, Bob.
• 1:07:46
  SPEAKER_00: Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere.
• 1:07:53
  SPEAKER_00: Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere.
• 1:07:57
  SPEAKER_00: Rocking everywhere, rocking everywhere.
• 1:08:00
  SPEAKER_00: I found you.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_00: Miss New Booty, get it together and bring it back to me.
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_00: In at the players' club for about a month or two.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_00: Put his hand on it, then see what to do.
• 1:08:13
  SPEAKER_00: I found you.
• 1:08:15
  SPEAKER_00: Miss New Booty, get it together and bring it back to me.
• 1:08:20
  SPEAKER_00: In at the players' club for about a month or two.
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_00: Put his hand on it, then see what to do.
• 1:08:26
  SPEAKER_00: Get it right, get it right, get it tight.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_00: Get it right, get it right, get it tight.
• 1:08:33
  SPEAKER_00: Get it right, get it right, get it tight.
• 1:08:36
  SPEAKER_00: Get it right, get it right, get it tight.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_00: Girl, I don't need you, but you need me.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_00: Take it off, let it fly.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_00: Shake it freely, and I don't tell stories, I let 'em tell themselves.
• 1:08:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you ain't gotta sell shit, girl, it tell itself like nothing else.
• 1:08:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm a country boy, got that big skinny bottom, fill me up with joy.
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_00: And like brand, live it up, daddy.
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_00: Here go the whisper song, baby.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is us ready.
• 1:09:04
  SPEAKER_00: Put it on me enthusiastically.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever it is that you do, you do it admirably.
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I can choose it, that thing chews me.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's Bubba Kang and yin yang all the way in this thing.
• 1:09:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yo, booty booty booty booty, rockin' everywhere.
• 1:09:19
  SPEAKER_00: Booty booty booty booty, rockin' everywhere.
• 1:09:22
  SPEAKER_00: Booty booty booty booty, rockin' everywhere, rockin' everywhere, rocking everywhere.
• 1:09:29
  SPEAKER_00: I found you, Miss New Booty.
• 1:09:32
  SPEAKER_00: Get it together and bring it back to me.
• 1:09:37
  SPEAKER_00: For about a month or two.
• 1:09:38
  SPEAKER_00: Put his hand on it then, see what to do.
• 1:09:41
  SPEAKER_00: I found you, Miss New Booty.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_00: Get it together and bring it back to me.
• 1:09:51
  SPEAKER_00: Put his hand on it, then see what to do.
• 1:09:54
  SPEAKER_00: Get it right, get it right, get it tight.
• 1:09:57
  SPEAKER_00: Get it right, get it right, get it tight, get it right, get it right, get it tight, get it right, get it right, get it tight.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Shh.
• 1:10:06
  SPEAKER_02: Hemi whisper in your ear.
• 1:10:09
  SPEAKER_02: Get yourself together, go and buy some new gear.
• 1:10:12
  SPEAKER_02: Do something with your hair, then hit the club.
• 1:10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Shake your ass, and the player's gonna show some love to that movie just a minute ago.
• 1:10:21
  SPEAKER_00: I guarantee you'll make all the dough.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_00: So go and do your thing, baby.
• 1:10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Work with what you've got to get what you want, make that money, don't let it make you.
• 1:10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Booty booty booty booty, rocking everywhere.
• 1:10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Booty booty booty booty rocking everywhere, rocking everywhere, rocking everywhere.
• 1:10:43
  SPEAKER_01: I found you.
• 1:10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Miss New Booty, get it together and bring it back to me.
• 1:10:50
  SPEAKER_01: It has the place of the two.
• 1:10:53
  SPEAKER_01: What is it about it?
• 1:10:54
  SPEAKER_01: See, what did you do with it?