Latest / Executive Careers with Fexingo: VP, C-Suite, and Senior Leadership Career Strategy / How Senior Leaders Use the First 30-Day Relationship Map
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to start with a number that’s been rattling around my head: according to the Center for Creative Leadership, roughly 40 percent of senior executives fail within the first 18 months of a new role. And the single biggest driver of that failure isn’t lack of competence — it’s poor relationship building in the first 30 days. Luna: That’s a shocking statistic. But it also points to something actionable — the first month is a window you can’t get back. Lucas: Exactly. And that’s why today I want to talk about what I call the 30-day relationship map — a deliberate, structured approach to identifying and building the right alliances before you even have your first major deliverable due. Lucas: Quick honest thing — a handful of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that’s literally what funds making this many of these shows. If you’ve found one of these episodes helpful in thinking through a career move or a tough decision, that’s the only way this stays ad-free. Luna: Yeah, it’s a small group that keeps the lights on, and it makes a real difference. And we’re grateful for every single one. Lucas: Back to that map. The idea is simple: before you even start, you list every person who matters to your success — direct reports, peers, your boss, key board members, and even influential informal leaders. Then you prioritize them by two factors: how much they can affect your outcomes, and how aligned they already are with your mandate. Luna: So you’re segmenting them into quadrants, essentially — high influence plus high alignment, high influence plus low alignment, and so on? Lucas: Exactly. The high-influence, low-alignment people are your biggest risk. They’re the ones you need to schedule one-on-ones with first — ideally within the first week. And the goal of those meetings isn’t to prove you’re the smartest person in the room; it’s to listen, understand their priorities, and show genuine curiosity. Luna: That’s a crucial nuance. New leaders often feel they need to project authority from day one, but that can backfire if it comes across as not listening. Lucas: Right. Authority is earned through relationships, not a title. So in those early conversations, you ask open-ended questions: What’s working well? What would you change if you could? What do you think I should know that others might not tell me? The answers tell you more about the political landscape than any org chart ever will. Luna: And how many of these mapping sessions do you recommend? Is it a one-time exercise? Lucas: It’s a living document. I suggest revisiting it every week for the first 30 days, and then monthly after that. Because as you build relationships, you’ll discover new influencers you hadn’t identified — or realize someone you thought was an ally actually has conflicting interests. Luna: Let’s make this concrete. Can you walk us through a fictional example — say, a new VP of Marketing coming into a consumer goods company? Lucas: Sure. Let’s call her Sarah. She’s joining a mid-sized organic food company as VP of Marketing. Before her first day, she maps out her stakeholders: the CEO, the chief product officer, her direct reports, the head of sales, and a few key board members who have strong opinions on brand direction. Lucas: She decides to meet the chief product officer first, despite the tension, because that low alignment is the biggest threat. In that meeting, she doesn’t defend marketing’s past failures; she asks the CPO what their biggest product launch challenges have been, and what they wish marketing understood about their constraints. Luna: That takes humility — especially if you’ve been hired to shake things up. But it disarms the potential adversary. Lucas: Exactly. And by the end of the first week, Sarah has met with each of her top 10 stakeholders. She’s taken notes on their priorities, their preferred communication style, and their pet peeves. She’s also started building a mental map of who trusts whom, and where the informal power centers lie. Luna: What about the direct reports? Do you meet them one-on-one or as a team first? Lucas: I’d recommend individual meetings first — 30 minutes each, no agenda except to listen. You want their unfiltered perspective before they get aligned as a group. Then, in week two, you bring the team together to share themes you’ve heard and set initial expectations. That shows you’ve been listening and gives them a sense of direction. Luna: One challenge I’ve seen is that new leaders sometimes get overwhelmed by the sheer number of people they’re supposed to connect with. How do you keep the map manageable? Lucas: You cap it. I’d say aim for 15 to 20 key stakeholders max, especially in the first month. Beyond that, you can schedule deeper dives later. The map is about prioritization, not comprehensiveness. If you try to meet everyone, you’ll spread yourself too thin and miss the signals from the most critical people. Lucas: And here’s a practical tip: keep a simple spreadsheet with columns for name, role, influence level, alignment level, key concerns, and your next action. Share it with your assistant — if you have one — to schedule the next touchpoints. That turns an abstract exercise into a daily work plan. Luna: That transparency with your assistant also signals that relationship building is part of your job, not a side activity. Lucas: Hundred percent. One more angle: the map is also a tool for managing your own energy. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. The goal is strategic alignment, not personal likeability. So if someone is low influence and low alignment, you can deprioritize them and focus on the high-stakes relationships. Luna: But what about those informal leaders — the people without a fancy title but who carry huge cultural weight? How do you identify them? Lucas: Great question. Look for a few signals: whose name comes up repeatedly in conversations? Who do people go to before decisions are made? Who has tenure and institutional memory? In Sarah’s case, she learned that a long-time product manager — not a VP — was the unofficial keeper of the brand story. So she made sure to schedule coffee with her early on. Luna: And that move probably earned more goodwill than a hundred emails. Lucas: Exactly. The map is as much about listening to the organization’s grapevine as it is about your own preferences. After 30 days, Sarah should have a clear picture of which relationships are solid, which need more work, and maybe one or two that she inherited as political liabilities. Luna: So what’s the final output of this 30-day exercise? How does she know she’s succeeded? Lucas: Success looks like a set of relationships where at least the high-influence stakeholders feel heard and trust that you’re not going to steamroll them. You don’t have to be best friends, but you need a baseline of respect. Also, by day 30, you should have a short list of quick wins that you can deliver in your second month — and those wins should be aligned with what the map told you matters most to your stakeholders. Luna: So the map becomes the foundation for your first 90-day plan — it’s not a separate thing. Lucas: Exactly. And that’s why I think this is one of the highest-leverage activities a senior leader can do. The cost is just a few hours of focused thinking and conversation, but the return is avoiding the 40 percent failure trap. It’s the difference between steering the ship and being swept along by currents you didn’t map. Luna: And for listeners who are preparing for a new role right now, what’s one thing they could do today — even before they start — to get ahead? Lucas: Start your map now. Even if you don’t have all the names, you can identify roles. Who is the CEO? Who are the C-suite peers? Who are the board members with relevant expertise? Then, once you get access, fill in the names. The act of doing it early primes your brain to be alert for relationship opportunities on day one. Luna: That’s a powerful closing thought. A map drawn before you even walk in the door — I think that’s the kind of proactive thinking that defines successful executive transitions. Lucas: Absolutely. And if you’ve got a story about a relationship map that saved your onboarding — or one you wish you’d made — we’d love to hear it. You can find us at the show’s page. Luna: Until next time, keep building those bridges — strategically.