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128. Manifestation Meets Scripture: Can You Use the Bible to Manifest a New Life After Divorce? · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Hi love, today we are talking about manifestation and the Bible, and the reason this is so dear to my heart is because I've spent years in religious spaces and I've spent years in the category that I we many people call spiritual, not religious, and right now I'm in a season of integrating those two, that I can claim the spiritual practices that have become so special to me and I can go through the process of integrating them with a religion that has also been special to me.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: So if you're someone who has struggled at any point to integrate spiritual practices and religion, or has struggled kind of, in the church because something about it was more uncomfortable than comfortable, and you're curious about manifestation, or you're curious how to make more out of your attempts of manifestation, this episode is for you.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Hi love, welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave and build back your confidence.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, dawn Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer and divorcee.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: In this episode we're going to specifically unpack Luke, chapter 6, verse 38, but also the context of the entire chapter.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: We are and take a look at how that applies specifically to the process of manifestation.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: We're going to talk very specifically about where most people kind of go wrong or fall off the path of intentional manifestation and where they kind of lose the capacity to really make magical things happen.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: And we're going to wrap it up with very specific way that you can shift kind of ASAP, so that you can experience more abundance sooner than later, because I know that that's why you're here, right, the whole point is ah, dawn, I want to feel better.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I want that for you too.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Love First things first.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I want to do a quick overview of what the dictionary says manifest even.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Is the word manifest right?
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: What does it mean?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Is the word manifest the same as manifesting?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: What is it, dawn?
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: So the definition, the verb is to make clear or evident, to show plainly, to prove, to attempt to attain by thinking or focusing intensely on it.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Some synonyms of the word are express, declare, demonstrate, evidence, disclose or reveal.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: So to manifest, right, it's just in the law of attraction.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I've heard it described as turning thoughts into things.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: Right, it's very parallel to this faith process, that to have faith is to believe in something you cannot see and the manifestation of something is the outward physical evidence, the visual or, like you know, you can knock on it like it exists.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: It has a smell, a taste, a touch thing that came as a result of a thought, a belief or intention.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Right, it's just the process of turning a thought into a thing.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And so, love, if you look around your life right now, your current life is a manifestation of your thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: A culmination right of your historical thoughts, feelings and beliefs is this moment in time, right now.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: And that is like oh a gut punch that when we talk about manifestation, we often have not been doing it intentionally.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: We've often kind of just been letting life live us rather than us intentionally living life.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: And it culminated in this.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: And so you're listening to this episode because I believe you want more control in your life, you want better outcomes in your life, you want to know whether or not manifestation is real or it's bullshit, and if it can work for you.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I am a true believer in manifestation, but I also want to point out in this episode specifically, that this is not a new concept.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: This is a popular concept.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: This is a very old concept that we can certainly find a map for in the Bible, the scripture that I want to point your attention to for today is Luke, chapter 6.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I want to point your attention to for today is Luke chapter 6.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: We're specifically going to talk about verse 38, but the entire context of Luke chapter 6 is about the idea of rising above.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Right, it's the idea of taking responsibility for your own problems, your own limitations, your own the Bible will call it sin, your own limiting beliefs, your own tendency to the angry, resentful, judgmental you name it and to rise above those things and to do better.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Right, and it's certainly a call to Christians to be more Christ-like.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: But the entire context of the chapter points out that, like, anybody can be nice to somebody who's nice to them, like, yay, right, this is about going many steps further and certainly this chapter is one that, when you're going through divorce, is both like a call and also probably feels like a twist.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Probably feels like a twist, twisted knife in the gut.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Right, because it's all about how we need to lean towards forgiveness and working on ourselves and not pointing out what everybody else is doing wrong, and this is a very hard moment in time for that.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: Right, but I will tell you that owning this concept is certainly what freed me in the early days, weeks and months, years after my divorce, right, the idea that I was not going to spend.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I spent a lot of moments taking his inventory.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: I was not going to spend as many moments taking his inventory as I did taking my own inventory.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: That was my goal was to put the bulk of the time spent on taking my own inventory and rising and doing better and becoming better and manifesting something differently in my life.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So let's dig into verse 38 of Luke, chapter 6.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: And it says this this is the NIV version Give, and it will be given to you A good measure.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Pressed down, shaken together and running over, it will be poured into your lap.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Now, this verse is really about having a heart wide, open, giving from kind, of a beautifully open and loving place, even when it is not necessarily already evidenced or you feel like it's deserved, right.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: So how many times in our healing work as a therapist right are we in therapy dissecting who in our lives has hurt us, whether or not they are still worthy of our relationship, whether or not we can forgive them and where we need the boundaries to be?
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: That's all very important mental health work, but the underpinning of that mental health work is also that our goal should be this kind of spiritual work of grace and being able to get to places, not where unacceptable behavior becomes acceptable that's not what I'm saying but where we can heal our hearts so that we can love people well and that includes ourselves first.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Right To be able to, because we're only going to love people as well as we love ourselves.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: So the idea is to get healed, to heal our hearts and to live in faith and to live in touch with a higher power, so that we can then give from a place that is solid right Now.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Our current manifestation, when you're in a post-divorce world, is like probably you haven't been loving yourself too terribly well because you're in a post-divorce world is like probably you haven't been loving yourself too terribly well because you're in a lot of pain right now and you're not sure if you're good enough and you're not sure if anyone's ever going to love you again and you're not sure why you weren't worth it to him, and none of that is true.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: But it's how you feel, right, it's what the thoughts are telling you.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: And so, if you want to manifest truly, grab that vision board, create a vision for your future self and your future life, where you have a love, where you are cherished and where you feel safety and security and you feel worthy and you feel wantable and you have enough of everything that you need, right Enough love, enough safety, enough money, enough love and belonging with a community and a beautiful relationship with your children and you name it right you get to travel here and there and a job that's meaningful and purposeful.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: These are all things that are on your vision board, right?
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: If you want to manifest that love, the process of popular manifestation is that you have to manage your vibration, that you have to embody.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Embody the faith, the peace, the positivity, the well-being that comes with those things before they actually come.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: And that's where everybody gets hung up.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Right Is that you want those things on the vision board, you want to manifest them, but you are struggling to have the faith and the peace and the confidence and the belief that they are actually going to happen.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: And in Luke 6, verse 38, we are told give and it will be given to you A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, it will be poured into your lap.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Means, asking it is given.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: Right that this is the intention for us, for with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: So this is what I want you to ask yourself because this is where most people get it wrong Is perhaps you've been giving right?
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Perhaps you feel like Dawn.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I was a wife who gave, I gave and I gave and I gave.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: But love, what measure were you using when you were giving?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Were you giving and measuring from a place of wide, open, grounded love that's truly, truly centered and grounded in how a higher power loves you?
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Or was it giving from a place of scarcity?
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: Giving because if I don't give, I'm afraid I won't get.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Giving from a place of.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I must give this so that he won't leave me.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Giving from a place of.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I must give this so that he won't leave me Giving from a place of.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: That's it right.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: If I don't give, everything, I am going to be forsaken, abandoned, forgotten, rejected.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You know I was just telling a story recently about.
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: This is like going to show all the trauma right the very first weeks of my daughter being born.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: This will reveal just how far I've come and how much work there was to do.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I had to stop breastfeeding at about three weeks in because I was medically unstable, and the medications and the treatments that they put me on at the time gosh, where was homeopathy then?
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Meant that I had to stop breastfeeding.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And there are many, many layers to this story.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: But one of the greatest fears I had about giving up breastfeeding was that if I couldn't feed her from my body, then she wouldn't need me and therefore perhaps we would not be close because she would not want me.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: That is the heartbeat of codependency right there, that I need you to need me because I'm afraid you won't want me.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: That is the heartbeat of the way most of us have been giving to this point.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: And how do I know that?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: I know that because we're divorced.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Right that there has been a flaw in the way we have been practicing love, in the way that we have been discerning what love is healthiest and best and most meaningful for us.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: And so love.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: This is where most people get it wrong, right?
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: How have you been measuring?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Have you been measuring with a cup based on fear or a cup based on abundance?
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Because in order to manifest those things you have on your vision board, we have to become a vibrational match for them.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: And what does that mean?
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Quite frankly.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: It means that the way that God loves us, the way that God intended us to live, the way that and listen, the word God and Jesus and all the things in scripture, all those words have been historically very triggering for me and the reason you've been hearing me talk about them more is because that's a manifestation of the healing work I've been doing.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Right, it's a physical, obvious.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: You can smell it, hear it, taste it, touch it.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Manifestation that my heart is healing more and more and more, that there is more space for me to revisit these terms that were historically triggering, because there were.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I have associations with the church not necessarily with the actual God right, but church, churchy words that were painful for me and and negative associations.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: And as those things heal more and more and more, those words become more available to me and accessible again, which is super exciting.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Right, it's manifestation.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: So how do we use what was intended for us by God to become a vibrational match for what's on your vision board by God, to become a vibrational match for what's on your vision board, and how do we start loving from a place of abundance and not from a place of scarcity?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: Because it's not easy, it's not something that you just flip a switch where I give you the answer and then you do it right.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: And it's going to be a process and it's going to happen in layers and it's going to happen with you managing your thoughts and your mood and your faith, one step at a time, right.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: But we have to start.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Here's the one word tool for how and where we start right and we start with surrender.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: That's the word.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: We start with, surrender, by saying I have not been doing this well of my own kind of efforting right.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: I have been doing it my way.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: I've been doing what I want to do, not what I need to do.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: I've been kind of using a lot of maybe not grounded tools to really get my heart right, to really get my mind right.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I've been maybe numbing, I've been maybe running and avoiding, and it's time now to really get my mind right.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I've been maybe numbing, I've been maybe running and avoiding, and it's time now to really get to the heart and to the root of right.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: I surrender, I surrender, I'm going to go there and I'm going to do this healing work and I'm going to get in touch with a real and living higher power who has a plot and a purpose and a plan for all of my pain.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get in touch with that and I'm going to walk that path out and I'm going to stop doing it the way I want to do it.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start doing it the way I need to do it, the way I'm being called to do it, and I'm going to let go of my way and I'm going to do the healing work that leads to the outcomes on my vision board and that is surrender love and to the outcomes on my vision board, and that is surrender love.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: And if you slow down for a moment and you take some deep, meaningful breaths and you look for the energy inside, what does that mean?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: Dawn, I want you to imagine there are little like sticker birds stuck in your shoelaces, right Of negative energy, and it's like when you take a breath and you pull one sticker burr off, you surrender a little more and take another sticker burr off.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking of these sticker burrs as being like thoughts, negative thoughts and negative emotions that you're so used to thinking what if I'm not enough?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Emotions that you're so used to thinking what if I'm not enough?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: What if anxiety is the message?
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, this will never feel like anxiety.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: It will never feel like God speaking to you, a higher power speaking to you, will never feel like anxiety.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: It will always feel like a steady knowingness.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Right, each time you take off a sticker bird, it's like surrendering a layer of worrisome thought what if I'm not enough?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: What if I can't?
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: What if I never get there?
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: What if, what, if, what, if, what, if, what, if?
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: And every time you say, I'm going to quiet that thought and I'm going to exchange it for a truer thought, which is what's in Luke 6, 38.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Given, it will be given to you.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be poured into your lap For the measure you use.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: It will be measured to you, but it's not giving from willful right.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I am the poster child for I'm going to do it out of my own human strength, not of a deeper well of spiritual strength.
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: And every time, love, I have gotten onto the path, whether it has been in religious spaces or spiritual spaces right, because I spent a decade spiritual, not religious Every time I got onto the path of surrendering to a power greater than myself and saying I'm going to dig back in, I'm going to line myself up.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be on a faith walk.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I'm going to practice listening to a higher power.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to practice being in relationship.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to practice loving from an open heart.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to set aside my resentments, I'm going to set aside my heart and heart.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I'm going to set aside my fears and I'm going to click in to what I know to be capital T true, which is love heals all pain, and not a codependent love.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: Not the kind of love that I was describing in those three weeks postpartum where I was like, oh dear God, if she doesn't need me, she won't want me.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: Not that postpartum where I was like, oh dear God, if she doesn't need me, she won't want me.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Not that Capital L-O-V-E heals all pain.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: It heals my pain, it heals your pain, and it's a love that is given to us first by a divine creator.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So I want you to know, love, that the current manifestation you have in your life, it's okay.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: It's not forever.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: In fact, you can move on from that, starting today by surrendering, and you can just start lining yourself up with there is a massive purpose that you were designed for love, and this experience you're in right here and right now is part of that purpose.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I have zero doubt that what the path you are walking right now is purposeful and it is going to be used as fertilizer for something big.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: The solution is always bigger than the problem.
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: Love Hear that the solution is always bigger than the problem.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: So the amount of pain you are feeling right now, if you get yourself lined up with the solution, the solution is going to feel bigger and better than the amount of pain you're in right now.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine that?
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Can you think about your future self feeling more good than you are feeling bad right now?
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: I don't mean just neutral, I don't mean just neutral positive, I mean a good feeling that is bigger, that is greater than the painful feeling you have right now.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: That is what we're aiming for.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: That is the future self that you are taking one step in front of the other.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: So there are lots of ways, lots of strategies to line yourself up energetically and manifest your vision board, but the number one that I want you to do today is surrendering to.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: There is a purpose and there is a path, and to get on it you got to start addressing your heart and your mind and your faith, and that is going to take surrendering to.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: You can't just do it the way you want to do it.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: You got to do the way you're called to do it.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: And now we're going to dig in to our Getting Unstuck segment, where an anonymous listener ooh, so many of you have started following me on Instagram and we've been chatting in the DMs and I freaking love it.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Every time I see a new follow and we chat in the DMs.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: It's so, so good.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: So in the Getting Unstuck segment, an anonymous listener has sent me a message, usually in the DM, sometimes an email, sometimes in our heartbeat app, which is our private community, and with something that they're stuck with Right, and I dig in to giving you some feedback about how you can specifically get unstuck based on your current experience.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: So Teresa writes in and she says that she's divorced and she's struggling with letting go and stopping the communication, even though she's been doing therapy and meditation and journaling and dabbling in various types of yoga and even though her ex was pretty abusive.
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: She's struggling with feelings of sadness, anger and keeps having contact, even though when she has contact he's hurtful and she can't quite figure out how to stop the cycle.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: She just feels in limbo.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: And, teresa, I love the path you're on right, I love the awareness, I love the steps you're taking to heal and to really work on it.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: And you know, what's been coming up for me with many women that I've been talking to lately is this You're really focused on healing from the marriage and your ex and trying to unhook the cycle from your ex.
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: But I wonder what's underneath your kind of what you called addiction to talking with him, right, your addiction to going back to him, because we oftentimes forget, or maybe have never even heard before, that the patterns you're playing out with your ex are patterns that existed long before you married him.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Love are patterns that existed long before you married him love.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: And so here's what I want to know what's underneath the fact that he even became an addiction?
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: If he soothes something, if talking to him soothes something or at least that was the illusion for a period of time, until it became abusive, right, and then you're no longer feeling soothed, you maybe get that immediate hit from being in that habit or pattern, and then here comes the pain, right, peel back a handful of layers.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Are you afraid of being alone?
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: And if so, why?
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: What are you afraid of?
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Are you afraid of not being needed or wanted?
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: And if so, why?
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: What are you afraid of?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: My advice to you, teresa, is to go a few layers deeper than your ex, let's say in a hypothetical world.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: This is a beautiful thought experiment that I could give you the gift of being healed from this cycle, of going back to him to get something soothed and I said, okay, that's temporarily healed, now go deeper.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: What is still hurting?
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: Because you think that recovering from your ex and that abuse and that pain and that cycle of engaging with him, you think that's where your pain is coming from.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: But it's not.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: It's the vehicle where your original pain is playing itself out.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: So the call is to go deeper.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: What is the pain that's unaddressed?
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: That allowed you to even get into this cycle with him in the first place and it allowed this cycle to kind of numb that original pain.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: When you get to those layers, the cycle with him will shift pretty quickly and you will have so much more awareness and fruit to work on actually resolving this pain with him but also healing your attachment cycle, resolving kind of the codependent stuff that was birthed out of something.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Much, much, much deeper.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: Resolving kind of the codependent stuff that was birthed out of something much, much, much deeper.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: So now that I've sent you on a scavenger hunt, take a deep breath, grab your journal, maybe do some butterfly tapping, dig in and then send me a DM, teresa, and let me know what happened next.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I love you so much.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear Divorce Diary is a podcast by MyCoachDawn.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: You can find more at MyCoachDawncom.